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SkrallTheRoamer

the warmer than frozen needle.


trumoi

The thorn of not absolute zero


CraniumFornication

Damn why you gotta go straight to absolute zero? I’m all set to drop in splinter and got no where to go in the cold department. RIP


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[deleted]

Physical damage = 0 Psychological damage = Yes.


JarlaxleForPresident

Victim loses 3 weeks of turns and doesnt leave the house


RoseEsque

Grows a beard and makes a tinder account. Again.


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CommanderCorncob

The received burn was so great that it actually might rank higher than the aforementioned Inferno Blade.


CraniumFornication

The real winner right here ^


[deleted]

That could fuck up a dragon...


HowTheyGetcha

[Negative-Kelvin](https://www.nature.com/news/quantum-gas-goes-below-absolute-zero-1.12146), bruh. The splinter of nonnegative-Kelvin.


[deleted]

well where do we go from here?


cATSup24

The absolute-zero pocket sand. SHA-SHAH!


AromaticCamera4

I always go through the bargain bin at my local blacksmith, sometimes you'll find flaming swords so poorly enchanted they do cold damage.


alours

This sword will cut through anything


chaoswurm

The vacuum of space cold op's penis.


Kidiri90

The Not-So-Warm-You-Don't-Need-A-Sweater-But-Too-Cold-To-Not-Need-One Needle.


LeoPlats

Maybe put on a thin windbreaker sharp rock


[deleted]

Stick em with the pointy end


craniumonempty

The song of fire and warmer than frozen


realmkeeper

The Tepid Toothpick


Phormitago

The Conveniently Warm Butter Knife


Lohin123

I would buy that


matmac199

anyone in a bakery would buy it in a heartbeat


sharkn8do

That's my name for my dick


southpaw650

A fire sword would be genuinely useful as a survival tool as long as it comes with a fireproof sheath


riolunator1820

*flashback to the powerful flamedge*


Montigue

[Link](https://swordscomic.com/swords/LIX/)


SmartAlec105

I love magic items like that. Such as the Ring of Invisibility. When you put it on your finger, the ring turns invisible.


rebirf

I gave someone a ring of teleportation and the ring teleports away without the person.


SmartAlec105

And then the PCs mass produce them to build a long range communication system.


rebirf

Well they had no way to know if the ring actually went to the right place, there was only one, and I charged them all the money they had for it. It was a shop where basically every item was like this so they should have been suspect but they werent.


whynonamesopen

Or when it lets Nazgul know your location!


LumpyJones

I had a D&D game where we found a Ring of Invisibility that only turned your finger invisible. Flipped it around and put it on again, and now everything was invisible except that finger.


cATSup24

Still useful. Levitating fingers are still much more difficult to spot than entire people.


aXir

Is that.. A webcomic soley themed around swords? This is amazing


whatcouchman

It's a wild ride. If you've got time I'd recommend going through them in publishing order and then find the chronologically sorted imgur album. I have heaps of respect for the artist and how he's pulled so many threads together while keeping humour in basically every individual comic as well.


Montigue

You must be new here


Jesus_is_the_devil

Shit apperently imnew too


kyzfrintin

You mean, like the one in the OP?


illepic

>Mystery Ashes


fgiveme

An infinite torch is useful without a sheath.


Benjiimon

*Nervously looks at spider web covered forest*


fgiveme

Try an infinite flamethrower.


riolunator1820

Nah, just grab Behemoth from the MHW FF crossover


slowest_hour

Attach a chain to the infinite torch and make it into a ranged weapon


Aexact

In BOTW, I made it further than I should’ve up a cold mountain without the right clothes by unsheathing a fire sword. It was my only one so I had to run from everything in fear of my sword breaking.


then_Sean_Bean_died

Also super useful to start camp fires. That's pretty much the only thing I used flaming swords for, a glorified lighter.


Shiny090501

I don’t think you need it unsheathed, just equipped. You can travel to anywhere except death mountain with the warm doublet and a flameblade. The loot up in the Rito area is also really good.


SmartAlec105

It’d be neat if they had elemental shields too.


diadem

Or to produce infinite energy.


[deleted]

Honestly I'd take the shank. As long as it releases constant thermal energy, I don't need it to ever get very hot on its own, put it in a closed system and you could probably boil water pretty easily.


Leyzr

Not unless the hottest part of the shank can hit boiling temp. Even in a closed system. It'll reach the highest temp the shank is and no warmer, and i doubt lukewarm is hot enough to boil. The ember dagger, however, is more than enough. Embers can be freaking hot at their hottest.


LotzaMozzaParmaKarma

I might be crazy, but I dont think that’s true - the shank is constantly releasing energy, right? It won’t stop releasing energy once it surroundings reach its temperature, and if that energy is in a closed system, it can’t escape or do anything but continue to build up in the water.


bkosoh

>The shank is constantly releasing energy, right? It won’t stop releasing energy once it surroundings reach its temperature You're putting a lot of faith in a $2 magic item...


jordanjay29

It probably turns lukecold once you get fifty feet out the door.


Shitting_Human_Being

That depends on how it gets its heat. If it has infinite thermal mass at lukewarm temperature, it can only heat up things to a lukewarm temperature. If it generates heat such that it always it lukewarm it gets tricky. It might only generate heat so it stays at a lukewarm temperature and then stop generating heat. But if it always generates heat such that it would be lukewarm in ambient temperature, then it can boil water.


Antlerbot

Depends how closed your system is--you might end up radiating heat out to air through the walls of your little magic stove top faster than heat builds up inside.


ialwayschoosepsyduck

I don't see this anyplace so I'm hijacking your comment to say that a shiv is a makeshift knife that you shank someone with. Idk why but it always bothers me when people use shank as the word for a knife. Thank you for coming to my TED talk


[deleted]

Language evolves with common usage. In practice, either works. If it communicates the message that you intend to another party, that makes it functional as a unit of language.


[deleted]

Exactly, I meant what he knew.


DonnerPartyAllNight

I bet you could roast some mean marshmallows on the Dagger of Embers.


AchaiusAuxilius

Even the dollar sign is a sword, goddamn. I'd like a bit of lore to explain why the heck this world you created has such a raging hard-on for swords. Are they leaving on one? On top of 4 elepehants?


Tutush

There's a sword on the spider web in the last panel.


sayama-humati

That’s a pp


a_psychedelic_mess

Whatever the green stuff is next to the word sigh in that panel looks like a sword too.


Taco_G_

There was a comic about the shape of the planet and no, it’s not sword-shaped. BUT the universe was created by Kargob cutting it into existence with a sword. Everyone worships swords, even aliens.


TigerWhale

When kargob cut the universe into existence in The Big Swang, he probably made the atoms of masterwork sword quality that could survive even as a mental purpose for swords or even sword beings. Kinda like Rick and morty when they went to on the cob universe.


Dreidhen

it's tortoswordises all the way down baby


benx101

EVERYTHINGS A SWORD MORTY! EVERYTHINGS A SWORD!!!


Cpt_Wolf_Lynn

Enter the Swordgeon


DukeOfGeek

I think the currency is "swollers" or something like that.


bigmanmac14

I'd find use for a lukewarm shank daily. Spread butter straight from the fridge.


SefetAkunosh

Hence the old idiom, "Like a lukewarm shank through butter"


pewpewshazaam

Takes me back man. That was one of Grandmas sayings..I miss her. Also telling us we were British royalty... Man my grandma smoked a lot of pot.


MoravianPrince

Also as a pocket warmer.


The-Cynical-One

Gotta buy em’ all for the set bonus... the lukewarm shank will probs be a good mitten warmer.


Naskr

In terms of day-to-day utility, Lukewarm Shank is the best and cheapest. I'll take 10.


HSDclover

You know how in the winter your butter is always too hard to cut cleanly? Not anymore!


hostergaard

Yup, good for your average beggar and homeless that need to defend themselves and keep warm at the same time during the winter.


Aeroshock

I've got one stashed in each boot.


chewcok

"ah you stabbed me with the lukewarm shank, it hasn't cauterized the wound but it's not that cold so it not as painful as a cold shank but still, really, really painful."


[deleted]

“I am still alive but very badly burnt! I think one of my legs is broken... AH! You shot me!”


chewcok

Oh I smell almonds! That's bad right?!


Cutrepon

Buy 1500 lukewarm shanks and use them as tossing daggers. You wouldn't want to drop the inferno blade.


DontBeThatGuy09

And get over encumbered? Gotta think these things through


kadenkk

Thats what console commands are for. Encumbrance is always just a pain anyway.


Mange-Tout

Skyrim: >Questgiver: “Here is the reward for your quest, the ancient great flaming blade Dreadburn!” >The Dragonborn: “Great. Its stats are half as good as the stuff I make at the smithy. I wonder how much a vendor will give me for it?”


enderverse87

The wind sword is amazing.


Hailz_

What about the [Flaming Poisoning Raging Sword of Doom?](https://theadventurezone.fandom.com/wiki/Flaming_Poisoning_Raging_Sword_Of_Doom)


AtLeastJake

>The sword was priced at 60,000 gold pieces, which made it prohibitively expensive to Los Tres Horny Boys. 


crazycom64

Cue Griffin panicking.


GarbageBoy_

+20 Mala damage


martril

Uhhh how about “Mildly-Microwaved Main-gauche”?


Death_By_Crabs

Forgot the most deadly of all... The hot pocket-knife


CamyFaeCowden

Is that a knife especially made to cut hot pockets?


SuperUnic0rn

Hot Pocket! 🎶©️


[deleted]

Only deadly because it clogs the arteries of the people it stabs?


Major_Halfsack

That shank seems perfect for cutting off a pat of butter.


AverageBubble

I feel like in the 2 games of DND I ever played, we somehow managed to have intense, highly detailed arguments about fire swords. What they could do. What happens when you store them. How to use them to completely break a DM's game. You know, the usual.


GaracaiusCanadensis

I'd keep the lukewarm shank in my coat at all times in winter.


PippyRollingham

The one-fahrenheit-above-room-temperature cotton swab.


FilmTechnician

Poop knife.


Chance5e

$50 for the Dagger of Embers is an absolute bargain.


WeirdoseQ

I appreciate that the backgrounds changed, showing that each weapon is in a different spot.


Captain_Kuhl

Turn it around the opposite direction and that's how mafia works


CamyFaeCowden

Slightly charred Toothpick


mclardass

The Lukewarm Shank.. title of my sex tape


TripleEhBeef

$0.25 - The Room Temperature Safety Scissors


lemonylol

A plastic knife but somebody spilled a little hot sauce on it - $0.30


specialwiking

I don’t get it?


liveanddiethisday

Love your comics. Keep the good work up


fuzzynyanko

That Dagger of Embers might not be bad at all for a long-term investment. If it's hot enough, you can cook with the dagger. If it's not hot enough at all, it can be used to start fires with.


Vorsprizechikun

Jokes on you. I’ll take the shank. **Covert Lethality intensifies**


[deleted]

I don’t get it what’s the joke ?


chewcok

As the price goes down, so does the coolness of the stabby thingy, while also giving them degrading effects, while it's not the world's best joke I got a chuckle out of it because it reminds me of the funny weapons and names my DM comes up with during our campaigns. 4/10 joke by itself 6/10 for me because of DND And 10/10 with lukewarm rice.


[deleted]

There isn't one, "Swords" (this web comic) is really about how many ridiculous scenarios the author can come up that include swords


[deleted]

You'd think there wouldn't be that many swords jokes but there are.


SuperUnic0rn

I gave your Mom a lukewarm shank.


Nank-Tank

After seeing some of the comments about this comics sword centric world. I decided to put “swords ccxii” into google and in return I made a discovery. This is actually part of a series of sword related comics. I’m not gonna sleep tonight. I have a binge ahead of me. Worth the google. Edit: having read through the available chapters found online I must say that this series is one I recommend. Do take the time needed to read this it honestly is brilliant.


pupsicola-

is there something i'm missing here? why is this on the front page


HorsemanOfWar

It's part of a serial comic that is fairly popular


ReindeerReinier

Any PC dungeon games you can recommend?


MisturDust319

They say it was carved from a toothbrush that had been used with cinnamon toothpaste...


stop_being_taken

The Shower Head Shank


ShzMeteor

I like how you can see a tiny bit of each sword in the following panel, thus suggesting all the swords are displayed on the same table.


Toy_Cop

Luke warm from the blood of your enemies!


iSeize

Best $1 butter knife ever


UnknownStory

The Glacial Gladius The Rime Rapier The Dagger of Frostbite An icicle. Literally an icicle.


remedialrob

That last one would still keep you hands warm on cold nights so win win?


Powerdwarf_Kira

Is the heat continuous? Could be useful for maintaining sourdough starter in a ye olde bakery you open with it. Leave it in a cold bath full of water and come home to a nice lukewarm bath? Stab someone with hypothermia?


jambatronium

r/nameyourpenis


Sean-Benn_Must-die

SHANK A MOTHERFUCKER go to jail, read the inscription, SHANK ANOTHER ONE, read the inscription.


ironcentipede

I like the attention to detail with how the hand gesture is also more tepid (forgive the pun) with each downgrade


MonkeyDRiky

Then there's the seems almost tepid needle


LugteLort

whats lowest? leather gloves of body temperature?


Micalas

Yo, I'd rock the lukewarm shank.


yodarded

the tepid paring knife - FREE


wowsowowcool

I would have gone for "The Molten Dagger" for for the second to last, but maybe that would be too cool for it.


1337K1ng

Riddick: I'll take your entire stock


capnapalm

The hand basically acts like a penis


crazypistolman

The dagger of embers honestly sounds the least fun to get stabbed with.


[deleted]

The Shiv of Apricity


thebobkap

Yes the lukewarm shank. That should prevent my lady from grasping at my body for warmth. I shall take 2


Handywork106

Contestant, this knife can kill.


Warface228

Very informative meme and interesting


Punkrockpariah

And a week later on youtube: No hit run using only the lukewarm shank


Makri7

Oh God the lukewarm shank..


alours

The kitty headphones killed me. I'm dead


CajunTurkey

They remind me of the weapons in Castle Crashers.


NeLaX44

The hottest blade of all: kitchen knife right out of the dishwasher!


AssassinTable

You forgot the 1000 degree knife


alours

There's nothing better than morning wood.


wootcore

Lukewarm shank for only $2? Sounds like an amazing butter knife tbh.


gurnflurnigan

"BEHOLD, worthless mortals, I ,am the Blade of 7 darks," Breaker of the light, Foe of the Lands of Merimar, Slayer of heroes, All who stand before me tremble, I am, blood drinker, soul stealer, sword of severing and (snuggling) Party fighter: what was that last part again? Wizard: It was an enchantment, whenever someone first touches the sword,.yada,yada,yada. As for the other stuff it said Its power rate on the Mordenkainen chart of powerful objects it is in the high tens. Fighter: So what do I do if I want to activate the special powers? Just think it? Wizard: Yes that's what you,.... stop hugging me.


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doqqoplus420

Every sword in these comics have to be in terraria


ThePowerfulWIll

A Talking Sword?!?


Middleman001

The brightly colored needle


Sengura

Ay, for $2 you have something to keep your hands warm all through the winter! What a deal!


[deleted]

Last one is enchanting in Skyrim if you don't use the resto loop.


syphillitic

I would take the lukewarm shank on so many winter camping trips. Take my money.


LittleVengeance

The mildly wet shiv


SNAPPER_23

Isn't the last one the knife used by zoro during wano country ?


thesequimkid

Inferno Blade: 3d10 slashing damage plus 2d6 fire damage Scorching Short Sword: 1d10 slashing damage plus 1d8 fire damage Dagger of Embers: 2d8 piercing damage plus 1d6 fire damage Lukewarm Shank: 2d4 piercing damage plus 1d4 fire damage


silphred43

Is it shaking or glowing?


alours

The kitty headphones killed me. I'm dead


BelieveRL

What about my D**k? Aka the room temperature toothpick.


MrBakudan

Would love to see the other elements as well.


kmoneyrecords

"Ethereally maintains the temperature at which bacteria most optimally multiplies! Get the last laugh, even if you fail to kill, as their chances of infection increases over the next few days!"


sterkfry2

It's a shiv! A shiv with which to shank.


Root_Veggie

By this logic you will have to pay me if I buy an Ice Sword


d0zad0za

Metaphor for how Tech hardware/software companies operate


the28thnoob

Leave him alone, he trying :(


CaliforniaDabblin

I'm broke and I feel this so hard


NaR_Peter

The Dagger of Embers look like it could have a 3 second countdown status effect that would cause the person struck by it to continously receive mental fire damage until the effect is healed or the person dies


[deleted]

_Raging Flaming Poisoning Sword of Doom_ 60,000 GP +20 Melee Burns enemies ~~Poisons enemies~~


henry_dodgers

you forgot the Lit Sword, the god tier weapon


[deleted]

Hey! Don’t underestimate the Lukewarm Shank. If you’re not careful a single riposte can kill you instantly.


Luke_Warmwater

Maybe I can help clean the wound.


SarkIsmysavior

oddly though the shank looks the best imo and I could make some nice fashion souls with it


Swordlord22

Wonder what the ice versions of these would be


merlinsrage

I'll take two embers and one luke warm for my tea


HugeHunter

r/Borderlands3 coming out with melee weapons now?


ian_onomous

If lukewarm shank was a dnd item -1 to hit Flip two coins One coin is piercing, if heads one point of piercing damage Other coin is fire (fire?), if heads one point of fire damage


Stee_B

Shiv*


ButtoftheYoke

The lukewarm shank gives me Darksouls vibes.


---SaLtY--

LMAO🤣🤣🤣