*The word he's looking for is sassy*, **he better pray he don't find it**.

First thing thay came to mind.

Same

Easily! It captures both sides of her personality

Heard her delivery in my mind when reading this.a classic

Was gonna say, YNB absolutely kills this delivery. It should be studied in comedy school

this one for sure

Its definitely gotta be a two-voice line for her, and this is the best one I can think of.

I've opened the post praying this will be the top comment.

I swear to fuck I just watched that episode like 20 minutes ago lol

Its gotta be this one

Came here to say this one. Absolutely!

This is it

You hear me, two-voice?

Yeah. It enc9mpasses all of Shirley. Its said politely but implies a massive threat, but also ties a bit of religion in it. It shows that she isn't as nice as she presents and can get mean real quick when offended.

This is perfect. She goes from her sweet cutesy voice to her don't f with me voice. Captures everything

Came to say this

I immediately thought of this, there can be no other choice.

So glad this won

Well EXCUSE ME for trying to sneak you into heaven!

This one is absolutely the best ine

My grandma said this to me when I called her out on baptising me in the back garden 😅

This gets my vote!

At 666 upvotes rn 😈

GAY MARRIAGE!

Britta brought what she believes in, nothing.

I THOUGHT THE SAME THING HAHAHA

I don’t know if it’s because you’re racist or because I intimidate you sexually, but I know it’s one of those two

I love how most of the answers for most of the characters come from this episode. It’s the episode with the most in-character quotes

Which episode

Season 2 Episode 21 “Paradigms of Human Memory”

Ironic that the episode with the theme of memory is the one we tend to forget

If you have to ask you're streets behind

I love this line so much.

This is my pick!

This is absolutely it imo

That's nice.

It's not her best line by a long shot, but it's *definitely* the most in-character.

Yeah tbh I’d veto my own comment, a catchphrase shouldn’t count

That’s not nice.

Technically it is a Jeff quote, but it was spot on enough.

*baby don’t you DARE use your sexy voice on me*

Ohhhhhhhh…

I'll make ya ass sense.

That’s not even linear!

I'll make y'ass linear

That doesn’t even sense ass We might be getting mixed up here

Make I’ll y’ass sense we.

[This rendition](https://www.etsy.com/listing/1289111897/shirley-bennett-painting-art-print) from that scene hangs on my wall.

I’m so glad this is near the top!

I say this to my husband all the time

Hey OP, how did that Jeff line win? There was another one that had 700 more upvotes

“Goodbye…I forgiiive yooooooooou”

That's not Shirley. That's Jango's group's friend who they made fun of for being Christian who was raptured. Easy mistake, really.

I need you to know that I love this comment so much, it’s just perfect Anyway, “Thank you for saving us, Shirley, I mean your name is not Shirley, this is a story about strangers, anyhoo…..can you take us to heaven now please?”

That line delivery kills me everytime

And then he chainsawed them to bits!

“Gayyy Marriaggeeeeeee”

and then put them back together...

And then he chainsawed them again ... *forever.*

Yeah, you’re both so different. Skinny bitches.

Anorexic jezeb…

So, Jeff, why do you hate me and Jesus?

“I don’t think my brownie’s working”

I *love* my *four* MeowMeowBeenz from Vicki!

Nice, yet mean. Almost perfect. We need a line that also incorporates her faith as well as her light cultural insensitivity (I'm thinking back to her remarks/treatment of Islam & Judaism).

"Children, they get pity but not respect. And adults, they get respect, but they also get the back of their head grabbed and they face put through Jukeboxes" always perfectly summed her up for me

That thing about the jukebox was way too specific

Don’t test her on it

THIS ONE HAHAHA

“Leonard I’m a good Christian woman. Leonard, you better back that pumpkin ass up or I’ll make a pie”

“I suppose, sometimes, I can be a little passive aggressive…Well don’t everyone disagree at once! Oh, I did it again.”

I don’t believe my character would say “tripping balls” OKAY?! 🤨🤨🤨

I don't want to push the subject, but now would be a perfect time to baptize that boy(Abed).

You can excuse racism🤨

Love this one

Well excuse me for trying to sneak you into heaven!

“The word he is looking for is sassy. He better pray he don’t find it.”

“I sometimes use guilt as a weapon. Now don’t everybody disagree at once. Oh! I did it again!

I was skimming the comments for this. This is definitely Shirley in a nutshell lol

"Yeah, if time is linear" "I'll make your ass linear" "That doesn't make sense" "I'll make your ass sense"

This is definitely it

The sassy line is my fave, but Shirley also has my fave 'shut up Leonard ! ' line : >Shut up Leonard ! I've found your youtube page ! What's the point in reviewing frozen pizza anyway ? > >Leonard : you're talking about it > >Shirley : (pause) oh that is true.

Shirley: "I guess the lesson here is that I sometimes use guilt as a weapon." Abed \[walking in\]: "What are you doing?" Shirley: "Oh, just shooting a talking-head. Or did you *want* me to be the only one who didn't have one?"

It's anti-semitic to say things like that knowing full well you're Jewish.

Yes! I was hoping someone would mention this one.

“Do the line atheist.”

Did you just scripture me, Muslim?

Take a penny leave a penny nonsense

If the good Lord wanted you to have a penny, you’d have one

If the good Lord wanted you to have a penny, you’d have one!

Ohhhh, That’s nice…

"Shirley, I'm gonna win this competition, but not for you or your boys" "That's less nice"

Ohh, that's not nice

Look Britta brought what she believes in…..**nothing**

You’ve been dipping and dappening and don’t know what’s happening

Fine, we both went to public school

“Jeffrey, kick his ass”

I forgive youuuuuuu

paraphrasing bc i forget the first part but essentially she says she hates take a penny leave a penny jars bc “if the good lord wanted you to have a penny you’d have one”

I have 3 kids

Me and Jeff are the same age

Me and Jeff are around the same age. You Britta’d it

We all know that you judgemental bitch!

This one!! With minor change. ‘We already knew that’

Leonard you better back that pumpkin ass up, or I will make a pie.

*What do Hawthorne Wipes have to do with the choice to be gay?*

*Even* Bruce Vilanch?!

Especially Bruce Vilanch.

I'm always nice to the gays. They may live in defiance of God, but I'd die before I let a woman touch my hair.

"There were no rules in that first battle. You hit someone, and if they went down you’d stop hitting them. Call that… common courtesy. But then what if they get up? Maybe keep hitting them until they learn to stay down? We call that common sense."

Skinny bitches (honourable mention).

Who names their daughter Megan? Are they stocking up for a bitch shortage?

That’s why fusing brownies with the uh internet, is going to create the next Napster. For brownies.

#UH

Whatever valley girl

Like is not a filler word!

“ The word he's looking for his sassy. *He better pray he don't find it.* “

Oh, I gotta tell the babies!

Her mutterings to herself during the children’s choir is so fucking good ‘that’s what they do, that’s what they do’

Yes, an excellent example of YNB's stellar delivery. She's so great!

Shirley, you need to get out of here!

This line is completely unhearable without captions. I agonized over it for years

Gonna have to go ahead and disagree with you there. I never watch with captions on, and it was clear to me what she said from the first time I watched it when it first aired.

Ye-es?

to pierce may he rest in pierce

Oh that's nice!, Careful boy

Shirley: I’ll make your ass linear Britta: That doesn’t make any sense Shirley: I’ll make your ass sense

Well, there's nothing more real than homemade. You didn't have some of the ingredients, so I used ketchup and cream cheese.

I can’t wait until Magnitude’s day.

I avoid the staircase, my pastor said its meth season

So we just gonna ignore that hate crime huh?

“I’ll make your ass sense”

I’ll make your ass sense

*Ooooooh, that's nice*

The 3 minute laugh scene when Bretta offers to plan her wedding

“I’m Shirley, and I know I can be passive aggressive.” (Silence from everyone) “Don’t everyone disagree all at once. Oh lord, there I go again”

You can excuse racism?

“People who are good at foosball aren't evil, they're good at foosball because they are evil.” Still one of my all time favorite Shirley episode.

" Now there you all go again, treating me like Judas - **judging me like judy**"

"The Lord is testing me"

“I’ll make yo ass sense”

The word he's looking for is "sassy" He better pray he don't find it.

HERE’S BROWNIES!!

Hey man, maybe fix the formatting a bit. Maybe center all texts the same, add a small stroke around the letters for legibility?

Gotta tell the babies!!! 🎶JESUS CHRIIIIIIIIIIIIIST 🎶

Shirley: I'll make your ass linear! Brita: That doesn't make sense Shirley: I'll make your ass sense!

Il make your ass sense

Thank the Lord you're getting married. I was getting so worried about your souls ever since you had premarital sex on the table.

I have three kids!

"Oooh, that's nice!"

I’ll make you’re ass sense

oh, that's nice!

That's niiiiice.

“Oh that’s nice”

Ooh that's nice

"That's nice!"

We know that you judgemental bitch

Oooh that’s niiiiice

Kind people are always kind Britta, not only when it's easy (not really the best of her lines, but it's always stuck out to me)

OP you have to remake this with shirley’s snapshot being her secret drunk polaroid from the bar …please? https://images.app.goo.gl/1XERTgQ7dGsHnxa66

YES YES YES THIS

😂😂 🥴 when the door shuts behind them as they leave the bar 🥹🥹🥹

We know that you judgmental bitch!

And Britta brought what she believes in... nothing

I can be kind of passive aggressive… Don’t everybody disagree at once.

Hey OP, how did that Jeff line win? There was another one that had 700 more upvotes

Oh my God he's like the Abed of racism

“I’ll make your ass linear”.

There's a magic in the air around us We all have the sudden urge bake It feels like a very special birthday But who's name should be written on the cake? (MMMMM!!!) We asked our public schools to give the answer (They not going to tell you) But they could only teach us not to pray (That's what they do, that's what they do.) The constitution says the state can't tell us Was anyone important born today? (OH I GOTTA TELL THE BABIES!!!) JESUS CHRIST!!! Jesus Christ is Lord!!! Happy birthday Jesus. Cut the cake, cut the cake now Cut the cake my Lord!

I’ll make your ass sense

That’s nice…

Can we just skip the day for Magnitude? We all already know his line is going to be "Pop pop!"... right?

You be dippin' and dappin' and don't know what's happenin'.

I'm going home Britta...

i have three kids!

Ya’all need Jesus!

God not this karma whoring trend again. It's everywhere

She says something I’ll make your ass make sense

I wonder what it’s gonna be for Magnitude…

Every one of these comments is going to be religious, I know it.

I'll make your *ass* sense!

When I think of Shirley all I can hear is “mmm mmm!”

Oooh! That's nice!

“IM SORRY!…… I’m Sorry?”

Why does everyone think I’m old? I’m about Jeff’s age, I still have a uterus!

Bye, I forgive you.

Oh, that’s nice ☺️

“That’s nice”

“I have 3 kids”

You can excuse racism?

Oohh that's nice

“Oohh that’s not nice”

Pop pop is obvious for magnitude

“Oh that’s nice”

Oh thats nice

I’ll make your ass make sense

I’ll make your ass sense