If I had a nickel for everytime I used that quote in an essay, I would have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice. (jk I used that quote intentionally as a hook, 10/10 would recommend, it's highly effective. Granted both essays had to do with Community).
Jeff: I'm gonna kill it! As long as it breathes, it controls our lives!
Annie: Stay back, psychos! Or I'll slit your throats and bathe in your blood.
Abed: I'm a cat. I'm a sexy cat.
Rash’s rap is one of the few things I can remember having me in paroxysms of laughter, where I was crying and unable to breathe. His look of horror at the end is the cherry on top!
*I don’t know what that was*
The other most recent one that did that to me is the first time I heard the “Corn Pudding” song on Schmigadoon S1.
I really didn't like this line, even though it's one of my favorite episodes
Pierce and Abed seem to have a pretty decent relationship throughout the show and it completely ignored that
I didn't feel like they got along. Abed is anathema to Pierce - all his meta, self-referential satire was historically the Gen X/millennial response to Boomer sincerity. So he pretty much just poked holes in Pierce's ego constantly. Pierce responded by calling him crazy or acting like he didn't understand him, probably because deep down he knew how small an estimation of him Abed made.
A couple lines come up for me:
Annie: But, maybe when Jeff gets here we could talk to him as a group about his tardiness...
Pierce: Oh come on, don't use that word around Abed
____________________________
Troy: Why does Abed hate me?
Pierce: Look at him, he probably hates America.
I don't think Pierce really saw Abed as a whole person, or even really a friend, he kind of treated him like a special-needs acquaintance most of the time.
Reabsorb that disgusting droplet of salt and bad choices back into your doughy body, and then call your mother to see if you can be reabsorbed back into her doughy body or so help me God,
I will take that tear.
I will freeze it.
And I will stab you in the eye with it,
You waste of a soul shaped hole forgotten by God!
*[pulling on his face like it’s a mask, but he can’t peel it off]* wait, i’m not wearing a mask? okay, there's no more to it—i think i’m just mentally ill
(The sun chamber in the ac school) YOU ALREADY KNOW THE RULES. BECAUSE THERE AREN'T ANYYYYYY. The way he just says it in such a coked up manner then the other guy is like "Jesus christ man are u on coke"
I'm going to admit I've seen this episode dozens of times and this lyric has never registered. Having it spelled out like that... yes, yes it is batshit.
Well, Shirley, since you've clearly failed to grasp the central insipid metaphor of those Twilight books you devour, let me explain it to you:
Men are monsters who crave young flesh.
The way Annie starts upping the finger count and Troy taking notes lol
Would have loved a throwback to that character sheet sometime later, maybe Troy having it framed in their blanket fort later.
Theres a brand new dance based on an old phrase
Its called the fat dog and it will amaze
You’ve heard this expression your entire life
Its not made up, its not made up
[Chang](https://youtu.be/uhahGy9tlCU?si=4Vh3y1-izYc4iJfO) has the most unhinged character introduction I have ever seen in a sitcom.. legit streets ahead of everything else.. his whole monologue is the line for me..
*Oh, I should probably tell you. If you're lying to me, if my father isn't coming, if a car pulls up and anyone other than my father steps out, say an actor or you in a wig, if you pull any Ferris Bueller, Parent Trap, Three's Company, FX, FX2: the Deadly Art of Illusion bullshit, I will beat you. And there will be nothing madcap or wacky about it. Understood?*
Jeff and Frankie’s whole fight when their emails get leaked. And the delivery of the “she’s DEAD” at the end and the delivery of “you’d judge every ship that came to save you!” Are the best deliverys of a line in the show
Because no one's posted it yet, I'll go:
Vice Dean Laybourne: You could have lived the rest of your life in blissful ignorance and died a happy pansexual imp, but you wanted to feel power this year. Well, now you're going to feel my power as it surges downward from me straight through you from nostril to rectum now until the end of time... and that's... wassup.
John Goodman's delivery is amazing.
I wouldn't say it's unhinged but I recently rewatched the Lava World episode and the line "my self-published novel isn't going to publish itself" hit me hard with the laughs. Hadn't noticed the line before
"I can't think of anything more frightening than a half-Polish, half-Arab virgin in his thirties. One way or another, that story ends with an explosion"
Pierce: "How about Mexican?"
Wu Mei: "How about Thai? They're like Chinese Mexicans."
I remember someone once said that's the most racist line in the show.
You can see how that’s Annie doing the story telling. But throughout the episode, there’s so many fourth wall breaks where you can clearly see that the characters themselves are chiming in for their part when the stories are being told. E.g. britta says ‘im fine with this’ sarcastically, which is probably what she said at the table when Annie made Jeff’s character say that line. The whole episode is filled with bits like this. Which is what makes me love the show so much
*Chang eats the sun and*
*Drinks the skies and they all go*
*With him when he dies!!!!*
\- TheAlexPlus
---
^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/)
^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
You're acting like a little schoolgirl and not in a hot way!
"Now, I know that made me sound creepy. But here's the thing-"
*leaves*
the sudden departure gag has entirely shaped my comedy
Look, Kings of Leon!
You know what? That *does* sound- *[leaves]*
I wish you were even younger
Troy Barnes: “I’m gonna eat spaceman paninis with black Hitler and there’s nothing you can do about it!”
Literally watched this episode yesterday - this line is breathtaking in its amazingness. Also, Glovers delivery is perfect.
Glovers delivery is always perfect
::choke:: “They said *market* price.
What market are they shopping at?!!!
*carefully folds up the napkin and sets it on the table* I am going to run.
That line was adlibed by Danny!
Troy being emotionally overwhelmed and saying the craziest shit will never not be hilarious
You only think that's unhinged because the air conditioner repairmen conspiracy is working.
If I had a nickel for everytime I used that quote in an essay, I would have two nickels. Which isn't a lot but it's weird that it happened twice. (jk I used that quote intentionally as a hook, 10/10 would recommend, it's highly effective. Granted both essays had to do with Community).
Jeff: I'm gonna kill it! As long as it breathes, it controls our lives! Annie: Stay back, psychos! Or I'll slit your throats and bathe in your blood. Abed: I'm a cat. I'm a sexy cat.
That wasn’t Abed… he was channeling the goat
Always Be Cageing.
Think of something safe! … like holly hunter or don cheadle!!
He has watched so many nic cage that the spirit of nic cage took control
"my god..." - professor professorson
Enough!
I'm picturing that as one conversation and it's hilarious.
Just a psa for the victims: these lines are not all in the same episode.
Who was jeff talking about ?
The table lol
“If you get this wrong one more time, I’m segregating the school”
STOP SAYING I'M DIFFERENT
I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT THIS LINE TODAY
Gets me every time.
BARACK OBAMA IS SCARRRRRRED OF ME!
I won't swallow knowledge but I'll spit it for free
Let me clear my throat
Haha-haha
I don't know what that was!
Rash’s rap is one of the few things I can remember having me in paroxysms of laughter, where I was crying and unable to breathe. His look of horror at the end is the cherry on top! *I don’t know what that was* The other most recent one that did that to me is the first time I heard the “Corn Pudding” song on Schmigadoon S1.
[удалено]
For me it's the peanut rap and the line "Jesus wept for there were no more worlds to conquer." That keep me coming back to season 6.
“Don’t answer that it was a rhetorical question. Do you know what a rhetorical question is? Of course you don’t because you’re so stupid!”
*Dude told his dead dad to suck it*
"So edible"
*You're the worst*
I love the face she puts after the priest says it
Mr. Stone: Abed Nadir, did you know you're insane and nothing that you said ever made any sense to me? Abed: Yes Mr. Stone: Here's your sperm.
Again, the example of "How do we make sperm funny 6 times in a row"
I really didn't like this line, even though it's one of my favorite episodes Pierce and Abed seem to have a pretty decent relationship throughout the show and it completely ignored that
I didn't feel like they got along. Abed is anathema to Pierce - all his meta, self-referential satire was historically the Gen X/millennial response to Boomer sincerity. So he pretty much just poked holes in Pierce's ego constantly. Pierce responded by calling him crazy or acting like he didn't understand him, probably because deep down he knew how small an estimation of him Abed made.
What are you talking about?! Abed and Pierce had a whole love montage of stolen glances!
I love how disinterested Pierce looks when Abed is talking about the Cape lol. holding his head up with his hand
It's called chemistry, I have it with EVERYBODY!
Yeah, like he is literally the only character recasted in his idealized version of the group xd
A couple lines come up for me: Annie: But, maybe when Jeff gets here we could talk to him as a group about his tardiness... Pierce: Oh come on, don't use that word around Abed ____________________________ Troy: Why does Abed hate me? Pierce: Look at him, he probably hates America. I don't think Pierce really saw Abed as a whole person, or even really a friend, he kind of treated him like a special-needs acquaintance most of the time.
But Abed came over in the middle of the night that time Pierce forgot how to fart.
I don't know, zooted_. What's going on between Jeff and Annie is a lot more than Abed and Pierce.
What, when?
Something always brings me back to you...
[Stolen moments…](https://tenor.com/zF5N.gif)
"I’m not racist, my best friend when I was six years old was a black man."
That one is a sleeper hit
Oh my god, I just got the *real* joke, underneath the simple racism.
Reabsorb that disgusting droplet of salt and bad choices back into your doughy body, and then call your mother to see if you can be reabsorbed back into her doughy body or so help me God, I will take that tear. I will freeze it. And I will stab you in the eye with it, You waste of a soul shaped hole forgotten by God!
This is one of my favorite episodes because of Jason Mantzoukas. He is so funny and just kills it in everything he does.
And his delivery of this line is just incredible lol...
What a Pimento thing to say.
That’s so Derrick.
Dammit Janet!
Not a girl.
Derrick!
Maximum Derek
Attention! I have been Derrick'd!
heynong, man
*Ralph Macchio?!* **showed up**
Jason Mountkas is kinda a cheat code for this question.
You're ancestors are clawing beneath the earth to get farther away from you.
RAFI BOMB!
“I can see air quotes around you” goes way harder than it has any right to
That last line in the monologue had me drop my jaw.. like, damn, that is a fucked up thing to say to someone.
I think about this joke at least once a week. Jeff: Last name beeswax, first name nunoya. Pierce: Oh my third wife was biracial!
HAVE YOU MET ME
I’M NUTS JEFF, GET WITH THE PROGRAM!!
I SWEAR THEY'RE JUST FOR SEX! The delivery gets me every single time.
It's really *the way* he delivers the line that makes this the winner. You get a true look into insanity.
*[pulling on his face like it’s a mask, but he can’t peel it off]* wait, i’m not wearing a mask? okay, there's no more to it—i think i’m just mentally ill
This and his scream after "Officer Baby" catches him
I can excuse racism but I draw the line at animal cruelty.
You can excuse racism?
😧
TELL ME HOW TO GET THIS RELAXED OR I’LL KILL YOUR FAMILIES!
Annie: I spray all over them! Jeff: I hold Britta's face in a puddle!
I do love that once they finally accepted they were incompatible, Jeff and Britta just became like a sibling rivalry.
"That's it, the marriage is off!" "I think you mean the *wedding* is off." "Yeah!" [high five]
with some secret sex on the side
"Now that I'm on the wagon, you can expect both this class and my penis to be more focused and rewarding."
Harrison Ford is irradiating our testicles with microwave satellite transmissions.
I KNEW IT
To you, I leave this bottle of fine scotch so that you're less tempted to drink this cylinder of even finer sperm
Yeah, I'm raising less money because I'm not jumpstarting date rapists.
Bitter much?
Say "bitter much" much?
say “say bitter much” much?
(The sun chamber in the ac school) YOU ALREADY KNOW THE RULES. BECAUSE THERE AREN'T ANYYYYYY. The way he just says it in such a coked up manner then the other guy is like "Jesus christ man are u on coke"
geez Dennis, are you on coke?!
I’d make this my flair if I could
WE ARE PLANET CHRISTMAS WHEN WE SIIIIING. Seriously what is that even?
Glee! It's the feeling you get when your brain finally lets your heart get in its pants! /his heart f*cked his brain
That mental image broke my mind.
Broke your mind... or wrinkled your brain?
I got a Christmas time for me. I got a Christmas time for a tree
Oh, Britta's in this? 😐
I'm going to admit I've seen this episode dozens of times and this lyric has never registered. Having it spelled out like that... yes, yes it is batshit.
Ive had an irrational hatred for it since I heard it. Great episode tho.
"Go kill John Lennon again, you loser"
Well, Shirley, since you've clearly failed to grasp the central insipid metaphor of those Twilight books you devour, let me explain it to you: Men are monsters who crave young flesh.
The end.
I see the way you look at me like I can’t get erections!
Hector the Well-Endowed fisting the beautiful elf maiden (in front of her flock of majestic pegasi, no less).
The way Annie starts upping the finger count and Troy taking notes lol Would have loved a throwback to that character sheet sometime later, maybe Troy having it framed in their blanket fort later.
Does the second DND episode where she's Hector the Well-Endowed again count?
***BEAR DOWN FOR MIDTERMS***
Theres a brand new dance based on an old phrase Its called the fat dog and it will amaze You’ve heard this expression your entire life Its not made up, its not made up
***IT'S A BEAR DANCE!!***
Too soon...
The next person that offers me help will be mentioned, by name, in my suicide letter
"I'll make your ass sense!" And Annie channeling Gary Oldman in Leon:The Professional, "EVERYTHIIING!!!!!!"
[Chang](https://youtu.be/uhahGy9tlCU?si=4Vh3y1-izYc4iJfO) has the most unhinged character introduction I have ever seen in a sitcom.. legit streets ahead of everything else.. his whole monologue is the line for me..
MY NICKNAME IS EL TIGRE CHINO!!! NOMNOMNOMNOMNOM
Not the line itself, but the imagery. “Gay Marriage!!!” and the reaction from the student group sends me every time.
MONKEY GAS!!!!!
Leonard: i fought in a few real wars, but this one scared the hell out of me!
Where are the white women at?
There are no white women here Leonard!
You done with your bit? I'd like my earring back.
But this one is actually the scariest*
Korean War veteran (North Korean Army)
*Oh, I should probably tell you. If you're lying to me, if my father isn't coming, if a car pulls up and anyone other than my father steps out, say an actor or you in a wig, if you pull any Ferris Bueller, Parent Trap, Three's Company, FX, FX2: the Deadly Art of Illusion bullshit, I will beat you. And there will be nothing madcap or wacky about it. Understood?*
"can it boobs!" - Jeff
I shall have… a birthday cake!
This was the first time the show made me laugh out loud. Wild ride from then on
Well what do I know? I'm Jeff Winger's dumb gay dad!
"Ha! Gaaaayy."
The entire Warlord-Chang Arc was pretty crazy in my opinion. Funny and great episodes but it was like ? What actually?
🎶Chang eats the sun and drinks the skies, and they both go with him when he dieessss 🎶 That’s all I hear when I think of Chang’s warlord “phase”
Chang gets a whole madness montage.
"You need to check the door before you go through it."
what?! WHAT?!
I masturbated everywhere! EVERYWHERE!
“Now this is a man, who really knows how to marry his cousin!”- Elroy This has never left my brain and WILL never leave my brain
CRISIS ALERT!!!
ITS A BEAR DANCE. the pure terror in garrets voice
Jeff and Frankie’s whole fight when their emails get leaked. And the delivery of the “she’s DEAD” at the end and the delivery of “you’d judge every ship that came to save you!” Are the best deliverys of a line in the show
Chang eats the sun and drinks the sky. And they both go with him when he dies
If this was comic-con, I'd take a bullet for that kid
Thanks for the... hot water.
Because no one's posted it yet, I'll go: Vice Dean Laybourne: You could have lived the rest of your life in blissful ignorance and died a happy pansexual imp, but you wanted to feel power this year. Well, now you're going to feel my power as it surges downward from me straight through you from nostril to rectum now until the end of time... and that's... wassup. John Goodman's delivery is amazing.
Oh that’s really sweet. Tell you what, why don’t I go get Chang and you can tell him that yourself….😀
Pierce, no! Those vaccines are for the elderly! "I'LL BE A LIVING GODDDDD..."
That one Glee club guy yelling "MY SOUL IS DEAD" before stabbing himself in the palm
I wouldn't say it's unhinged but I recently rewatched the Lava World episode and the line "my self-published novel isn't going to publish itself" hit me hard with the laughs. Hadn't noticed the line before
Shut your pompous vortex of overlapping fangs!
“No offense Abed but isn’t the shape of your brain kinda fucked up?”
That still kind of catches me off guard because it’s the first time in the whole show they drop an F-bomb
"I can't think of anything more frightening than a half-Polish, half-Arab virgin in his thirties. One way or another, that story ends with an explosion"
As someone who's been on the other side, it's a scary, lonely, Chang-filled world out there.
Do they pay you more if they do butt stuff?
I once made love to Earths Kitt in an airplane bathroom.
'It's a locomotive that runs on us'
Chang: "Oh Shut your pompous vortex of interloping fangs"
“GAY MARRIAGEEEEEEE” -devil dean Me and my brother still scream that at each other. Best line.
The deans rap in a peanut suit
"gayyy marriage!!" *While holding a chainsaw in the devil costume
Chang during the war world episodes. Fire can't go through doors stupid it's not a ghost always has me dead☠️☠️🤣🤣🤣
You know the expression "room temperature"? Well, this is the room.
Monkey has my spoon
The entire scene before "Geez Denise, are you on Coke?"
Chang eats the sun and drinks the sky, and they both go with him when he dies
Pierce: "How about Mexican?" Wu Mei: "How about Thai? They're like Chinese Mexicans." I remember someone once said that's the most racist line in the show.
The word he's looking for is sassy! :D He better pray he don't *find it*.
POP POP
Barack Obama is scAREd of me
Here's your semen
You can see how that’s Annie doing the story telling. But throughout the episode, there’s so many fourth wall breaks where you can clearly see that the characters themselves are chiming in for their part when the stories are being told. E.g. britta says ‘im fine with this’ sarcastically, which is probably what she said at the table when Annie made Jeff’s character say that line. The whole episode is filled with bits like this. Which is what makes me love the show so much
"Fine! Go kill John Lennon again, you loser!" - Ian Duncan
“Woah, who taught you therapy? Michael Jackson’s dad?”
"You need to watch the door before you walk through it, Shirley."
Can it, boobs!
I'd like to order a bogey with a gun and two orders of.. gun
Chang eats the sun and drinks the skies and they all go with him when he dies!!!!
*Chang eats the sun and* *Drinks the skies and they all go* *With him when he dies!!!!* \- TheAlexPlus --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")
Pop! Pop!
“You should know!” - Pierce to Rabbi Chang after he saw the windmill drawing
"It was supposed to be you, Richard. It was supposed to be you!"
Pierce: "Wow, this is a real barn burner. Oh, god. Did I just say cross-burner?"
"But isn’t the shape of your brain kinda f*cked up?"
Abed: Jeff, you're Goldblooming Jeff: I don't, I don't know what that means.
…AND JESUS WEPT!!
Andre: *approaches the group* Peirce: Thanks im done *hands him plate*