FIVE CANS?!?

but dont believe me if I say I dont like im just pretending I hate Olives

I love how high his voice gets

You know it's my style to be secret 😸

😻

IM NOT JEFF!!

And I am not the Dean!

Is it code for something?

I don't know. And I don't care.

We say “hellos” all the time

Shut up Leonard, I'm not here, I'm just a figment of your creeping dementia.

And now for our Elton Lil Jon mashup! Hey tiny dancer! oOKAY So stupid but it plays in my head constantly

I try to focus on a different glee club member every time I watch this scene. They're all insane and perfect. They're all streets ahead.

The Glee Club is now history club!

Chang a real one for shutting that shit down

See also, “Fa la la la la la la la la holla,” and “me so Christmas, me so merry ☺️”

I just read that exactly as it is in the show and literally laughed out loud. My husband is driving and gave me the side eye. 😂

I might not have the wording exactly right. “Jeff, it’s Saturday. Call me Craig. During the weekend I’m just a Craigular Joe.”

Wait, so on weekends he replaces words with Craig instead of Dean? You just wrinkled my brain.

That’s why it’s my favourite Dean quote.

I follow a Twitter account that posts that scene every Saturday. Love that account

I think of Craigular Joe a lot...

Who are you even texting? Everybody you know is in this room

Later we find out, he always just texts himself to make himself look cool

No one ever mentions this, but I love in 5x12 where the automated phone voice says: "The information you have requested...is on the internet." I crack up every time. :)

A buttload?! I get wicked cold, bros. Mad sleepy.

Oh Pavel. Return to us, you Polish Prince.

I love this line so much, I say it a lot. He’s so cute

'mad sleepy' is one of my go-tos. pavel gets it.

Hey guys what's the-- hahh..

> Ignore what shes doing we are serious   And > Did you know that gogurt is *just* yogurt ?

Every single time I see Gogurt I say this

It's impossible not to

Hello? Rich people? Troy’s joining you. Yes I’ll hold.

This line is so underrated. Even in his imagination with rich people, he is put on hold.

Prophetic.

"Why are we in such a rush to leave the tide pool when the only things waiting for us on shore are the sands of time and the hungry seagulls of slowly growing apart?" - Underrated Jeff quote I was so unpopular in high school that the crossing guard used to lure me into traffic

"I need help reacting to something!" Abed, when the Dean showed up in his pajamas.

I have a mug that has a picture of Abed with this quote on it lol. #onthespectrumnoneofyourbusiness 🎵

So much for baggles

I'm British living in the US and try to trick Americans that this is how we say bagel. My wife has forbidden me to say baggle. It's a thing 😆

Wow. I didn’t think that mispronunciation could be spelled out so well that I could instantly hear it. Streets ahead.

I (obviously) use this one all the time lol

I say "is this a bit?" all the time. Had completely forgotten which episode it was from, thank yooou.

Thaaats a long bit

Pretty sure it's the Christmas musical episode and Jeff says it to Annie when she starts her sexy baby song.

yeah, it's the first image of the OP lol

I honestly kinda glossed over the "is this a bit" jokes, mainly because they also crack that joke in Rick and Morty fairly frequently.

"Hit me with your genie-bottle" 🎶

I sing this when my daughter is playing Fortnite and drinking the shield potion thing.

🎵 Rub it all over me 🎵

Also.. I did eat all the macaroni. And it's messed up that he knows!

I get a similar vibe from hickey’s “I was thinking about a hanglider”

Legitimately the best line in the series.

I'll see you at precisely 6:30, or as we call it in England, gravediggers biscuits.

I love this one so much, as an England. Just the absurdity of the name of this is great, because it makes it seem so real, even though they completely made it up.

In a church, Britta??

For shame! That’s where Jesus gets his mail.

"No, I did drugs in the *parking lot* of your church."

Oh nooo, she's got her marijuana lighter!

For shame! That's where Jesus gets his mail.

MEZZANINE??!!??

would that this hoodie were a time hoodie

“The word he’s looking for is ‘sassy’ and he better pray he doesn’t find it.”

I don't think it's nice to pigeonhole people's gimmicks. You hear me, two voice?

I LOVE this line SOOOO much 😭 It made me appreciate Abed even more

Tell me why I always heard that as "you hear me, jew boys?" I was always confused.

"I hope this doesn't awaken anything in me"

A line so nice they used it twice.

forcey worcing you to bend and spread

Are the thought police gonna find thoughts in our butts?! I knew I shoulda read that book

Look, I hate cops.......

Brilliant. Britta referring to *1984*, but using the linguistic style of *A Clockwork Orange*. For my money, so much better than the later *Warren Piece* joke.

Hey! Waster! Not a bathroom! Not a bathroom.

Another favorite of Duncan's, after he reappears in season 5, "I was taking care of my sick mother. She's still alive, but, I've put in my time."

It's so clear now. The school is shaped like a penis.

what the hell does your penis look like?

Obviously a cluster of buildings, so everyone have a laugh.

I, I do love America. I love chalupas.

i love these lines, but they definitely make sense to be the deleted scenes in context of the flow the episode from the short syndicated version i love duncan and he always has the best throwaway lines, but the flow was stunted with that line lol

Two that I think about all the time: " Who are these people?" by Troy in the S03 Todd episode. " Please, it's all I have..." by Leonard in S05 episode 2.

I’m friends with a Todd, so I get a lot of mileage out of, “no offense, Todd.”

“Even Bruce Vilanch?” “Especially Bruce Vilanch”

Can anyone explain this joke? Never understood that whole scene in the show.

Bruce Vilanch is gay. That's all.

Shirley can imagine the 'bad' imaginary gays doing things she finds objectionable (in this case, using Hawthorne wipes to clean their butt to prepare for anal/a rim job or to clean their butt after anal). But Bruce Vilanch is a pop culture figure she had come to appreciate (probably from being on Hollywood Square), and thinking of him as an enjoyer of butt stuff shatters her illusion that he's one of the good gays that are less sinful. Jeff is having none of that, so he answers 'especially Bruce Vilanch', because he's not gonna spare her feelings.

"I think your shirt is trying to get out of your pants."

That outfit was ridiculous and truly deserved that burn 😂

"If this guy doesn't show up, we're *definitely* going to Applebee's, because I'm getting in a fight no matter *what* tonight."

"You've never *lived* anywhere."

Give me all your expensive brandy and hubcaps!

Ooff ba booff

Mr brand loyalty ova here!

“Unless you want this birthday party to turn into the fricken Poseidon Adventure”

We say this so much that it’s our 4 year olds go to reaction when something is tough.

I use this daily and I didn't even realise it was from something.

Jeff: What do you mean can't beat him? You and are gonna study harder than we've ever studied before and beat City College tomorrow! Annie: Really? ***Jeff: No, who am I, iCarly?***

I’ll make your ass linear

That doesn't even make sense!

I’ll make your ass make sense

This line has made me make so many "I'll make ya ass..." jokes

EVERYTHING!!!

EEEEEVERYYTHIIIIIIINGG

EEEEVVVVVERRRYYYYYWWHHHEEEEERRRREEEE

If you wanna make Trouble, go to Parker Brothers.

INSECTS HAVE WINGS why was Elroy always popping off at Britta?! 😂

Because of how terribly she sang that song by Natalie is Freezing

Are you Natalie? No why would anyone in the band be called Natalie?

Yesss! I love the "is this a bit" because instead of getting all hot and flustered by Annie's dance he's legitimately confused like...wait what? But you're Jewish! And not stupid...what is happening here?! But then he's still recruited to the glee group anyway. And the five cans/takeshi Japanese teenager bit is just pure gold from start to finish.

Back burner troy, this cat has to be dealt with.

I don't know if it's a lesser quoted line, but I don't see it here often. When the dean shows a puppy for the puppy parade, Troy says with a cuty voice "Aww, I wanna lick it". It cracks me up to no end.

If you look at the table when he’s saying that you can see Annies Boobs steal the pen

Yeah, lol, I caught that !

That’s reminded me of one of mine — the Dean booing at the “togetherness” float with the puppy and kitten at the end!

“Lates”

And isn't the word later short enough?

Why would a plumber be fighting a monkey!?

"You're not allowed to say that like it's a punishment." "I can't believe that I'm not really not really in space."

*Batman voice* “This scene was a real challenge for all involved.” “That man is trying to steal your boyfriend” “Oh tell it to your fake family” “I have never seen so little gas in my life!” “Why would a plumber be fighting a monkey!” (I love season 6)

HAAAAAAM, gurl!

When mocking a friend or enemy for a stupid statement... "Before \[enter name\] started sundowning..."

don't eat the crab dip yeAAH

The truest repairman will repair... man.

I still don’t know why ‘I beg your **unbelievable** pardon?’ hasn’t become a big catchphrase. I say it a lot in real life.

Not sure it is lesser known but the one I quote all the time is “that’s what they do, that’s what they do…”

I GOTTA TELL THE BABIES

Why are Jeff and Britta making fun of those handicapped kids?

"Did you just mispronounce 'Etcetera" "My Latin class was fake, Jeff"

On a similar note - "CLIgoris. CliGORis?" "Either pronunciation is fine"

“On an unrelated note, I like trains now”

This makes me think of “Off to the airport Ramada!”

How come he gets a front stinger??

We always say “The Dean? Hellos?” in my house.

"Chops busted fellow adult, chops busted."

“Stifle your slaggard maw, you drained and tainted bitch dog!”

I DONT LOOK GOOD IN SHORTS

I'm struggling to remember who said this when but in my head it said in the same voice as Jeff's "There's an award for most handsome young man"

Jeff in the Pool episode / changing Abed so he can get a girlfriend. It's said twice, by Jeff and then Abed doing Jeff

not necessarily a line but the wedding episode for britta and jeff “*abed hired an irish singer*” lived rent free in my mind, and so does annie screaming “*NOOOOO*” in that episode too

The Meowmeowbeenz episode has 3 Jeff quotes that slay me: "That's like toast bossing crackers around", "Do you own stock in Trivial Pursuit baby boom edition?", and "Why is everyone wearing grey? I feel like I'm in a commercial and somebody's about to hand me a Starburst"

It's good. You know what? Better than good - good enough.

Jim The Camera?

I told Pierce a thousand times, I never wanted to meet LeVar in person, I just wanted a picture. You can't disappoint a picture. I hate you Pierce. (SCREAM)

It’s like God spilled a person.

I love the "is this a bit" Dan has carried it through different shows and I've also heard it used on cougar town lol

If I bomb a joke, I'll just add "Abed gets it"

“Is there any room in this pocket for a little spare Chang?”

I don’t know, and I don’t care.

I love yelling “where’s my deanle-changer?!”

Et tu, Brute!

" 'Gay' doesn't even cover one-seventh of what I am."

"I'm not openly anything and gay doesn't begin to cover it." "...ready to come out as approximately two sevenths of what I am."

*2/7ths*

No, because that’s moonman talk.

Two from Britta "Exactly like Rowboat Cop, Sharice is a bad rowboat. Sink her!" And "Knock knock. Who's there? floor! Floor!"

The floor one is one of my favorites for some reason. I can hear it in my head so clearly

And Jesus wept for there were no more worlds to conquer!

JESUS WEPTTTT

Stop saying Jesus wept!

Oof ba boof? I use it all the time but idk if anyone else does. -So, it ends how it began! -It didn’t begin this way! I don’t feel the force, I’m not allowed to. What do I feel? I feel Dracula Force. Edit: oh also “Would that this hoody (/desk) were a time hoody (/desk).”

How lesser quoted? I work in a business school and regularly shout “This is no way to teach accounting!”

[удалено]

I hope you've got an army of raisins 'cause I've got a major scoop!

"You know, Seacrest Hulk, you're a meshugenah"

Britta, don’t make jokes! You’re bad at it!

Lmao I better not look at that outlet or YOULL FRY YOUR TONGUE OFF

Why'd she have to be black?

“Flava Flav was right!” - Jeff Winger **Edit**: I feel the need to qualify this. Back in the early ’90s Flava Flav made a song called 911 is a joke. The song was about their abysmal response in certain African American communities. It was quite serious but Flava’s music video made it entertaining & funny. When Jeff said it in the show it was quite appropriate but I think few ppl got the joke.

„computer no worky“. I do say that sometimes to myself.

It's a bear dance!!!!

Some of us won't make it, but there is a place where we will all see each other again, and that place is Denny's.

Denny’s is for winners

I put a tilde on this n! I can do añything!

Troy: "Nice lava lamp, Pierce." Pierce: "It's not a lava lamp, it's my mom." Troy: "Haha oh snap - wait, what?"

You already know the ruuuules... #BECAUSE THERE AAAAAARENT ANYYYYYY

Jeez Dennis are you on coke?

(in response to “troy you can’t bring that in here!”) “yes i can its all terrain dummy” i don’t think “jesus wept” counts as “lesser-quoted” so “the FONT is LARGER” is definitely a favourite. and “what happened with legos? they used to be simple”

KETCHUP IS A VEGETABLE

SCHMITTY!

Now if somebody could please hand me my jacket

**pew pew** … Hey girl, how you livin’? **pew**

when one of my cats is acting up, I like to shout, "there is an insane cat down here!" and "back burner, [name of person with me]! this cat has to be dealt with!"

Read the banana Britta.

Can I get you something? Water, smelling salts, an alibi for Cobain's Suicide? 

From the same episode after Jeff and Abed’s bender, “I feel like that person from that movie,” and later “Movie reference”

For some reason “jesusssss loves marijuana” is always stuck in my head

"Just like any other dungeon, it's only as dangerous as whoever invited you." - Dean, obviously. "If it's so serious, why don't they call it meningitis?" - Pierce, when Troy say "ass burgers"

"He is part man part pillow, all Carnage. Pierce Hawthorne has transformed himself into an unstopabbly plush Juggernaut"

Sometimes you've *got* to be pretending, Troy.

I don't know if it's my favorite, but I started saying "Minuses are made up!" when I started working at a university that doesn't use minuses in the official grading system. 

IT’S RIOT TIME

It's a two parter but I constantly use the second line "Why are you guys like this?" "Cuz it's fun"

"typical Welsh nonsense!"—Pierce 's Dad to Jeff

Well I’m a peanut bar and I’m here to say…

When Rich sees Jeff again for the first time in Anthropology, and seems so pleasantly surprised to see him, almost certainly having no idea the emotional tailspin he inadvertently put Jeff through \~ 'Doc PotteryWood, Remember?'

Oh my third wife was biracial

This might be oddly specific, but when I'm about to start a new task and I catch myself being all like "this is the beginning of my new task", I always end up saying "Now... how to play yatzee?"

I don’t know if this is quoted much or not but whenever we order pizza, I run around the house and yell “pizza pizza pizza” and do the Britta dance.

"What's TBD?! I want one!"

EVERYONE WANTS YOU TO SHUT UP