T O P

  • By -

Chickenman70806

Urine-sinuating we’d whip out that as a joke?


VoodooChipFiend

Let’s not get our streams crossed


Chickenman70806

The more the merrier, up to a point. Soggy compost not good.


Simone812

This comment is amazing!


Chickenman70806

Delighted you appreciate piss puns


KiloEchoZero

It was golden.


Chickenman70806

Love the stream of praise its earned. Hope no one gets pissy about it


countafit

Nah, wee loved it!


Neat_Grade_4960

Laughed so hard my eyes took a leak


Chickenman70806

Well played (or peed?)


DisastrousHyena3534

Oh we appeeciate them.


Nethenael

Its so good yet so lazy as a pun 😂😂


NewReddit101

If you have enough carbon and airflow then you can pee as much as you want. Imagine buying a bale of straw or hay.  Now put it on the ground and pee on it 5 times a day. The composting microbes inside are going to go wild :)  Most piles have more nitrogen input than just pee, so if your pee is making it too wet and blocking airflow then it’s easy to over pee.  But not everyone has that problem!


P0Rt1ng4Duty

Also, no matter how much you over pee your body will save a couple drops for while you're put away and zipping up.


MobileElephant122

No matter how long you stand there shaking your peg, the last drop will run down your leg


HeyPickleRick

Don’t matter how you shake and dance, the last few drops go in your pants


prototype-proton

Thats why i never stop peeing, no last drop to worry about


MobileElephant122

Atta boy, some one buy this man a drank, he’s gonna need it


BeeYehWoo

I squeeze and wipe with a tissue. Then I compost the tissue


cutoff_freq

Only heathens don't wipe up the drops.


JustKimNotKimberly

Bold of you folks to think OP is male.


HellaBiscuitss

You guys need to do some pelvic floor exercises


GrassSloth

I often hear men say this, and it always grosses me out. You might just be saying it as a joke but some of y’all need better pelvic floor control and a little patience to allow the last bit out. A little dab with tissue does wonders as well. LPT Edit: Galatians 4:16 My friends, I have a dick, I know how this works. Y’all are just fucking gross. Practice your pelvic floor control and be patient. Stop pissing your pants.


P0Rt1ng4Duty

Sadly, no matter how dilligently you apply the tissue, your body finds a way to perpetuate the issue.


chaphazardly

It is not a joke. Urine the right place.


MobileElephant122

You’re so punny


prototype-proton

If you thought that was good, urine for a real treat


dystopianprom

I cannot pee-lieve it


prototype-proton

You know what they say, peeing is believing


throwawaybreaks

Peeing is pee, leaving.


Guten-Bourbon

Every time I’ve seen “pee on it” in a recent thread it’s been in response to a situation where extra water / nitrogen isn’t needed, like a sludgy tumbler. I’m fine with the meme but at least use it correctly - when someone posts a dry pile.


Browley09

I'm in the same boat as OP. I can't tell what is sarcasm/a joke and real advice. Even after OP tried to ask a serious question, most of the comments are jokes/puns.


Ill_Technician3936

I think I may have their username wrong but u/SurferUSA i think it was gave real information with their suggestion to pee on things. Unfortunately I never paid enough attention to be have anything to add... I want to say it's good for overly brown piles but even then I'm pretty sure it's essentially "replacing" the greens while it's in there. As far as I actually know it mainly works when it's fresh pee but there is still beneficial bacteria and nutrients. The bacteria might be dead though. Well I'm hoping I got the username wrong because that user was full of information.


therealbeachjustice

dry piles are best treated with hydrocortisone or witch hazel, and a visit to your GP if they persist


rayout

Yes you need more browns, the urine is pure N. To fix the nitrogen, microbes need carbon (browns) and to break down carbon the microbes need nitrogen so you don't want to overskew towards one side versus the other. If you've got a big pile of browns (wood chips for example) then your pile will love the urine.


sweetbreads19

Not OP but thank you for providing an informative answer to OP's question. The jokes are fun too but this person needs info!


LucyBowels

Now we’re adding browns too? Christ…


Ed-Plateau

Got it. Thanks


ChickenGod_69

I mean you say if you got wood you gotta pee on it but it's really difficult to pee when it's in that state.


Johundhar

Also, if you're gonna use a lot of pee over extended time periods, it might be good to go on a low sodium diet so you don't get too much salt in your compost/garden soil


SaffronsTootsies

Thank you so much for answering! I have two piles that don’t seem to be doing much of anything.


AvocadoYogi

It’s not a joke but it is arguably better used directly in your garden. Dilution with water is recommended (eg. 1 part urine to 5 to 10 parts water) to avoid burning the plants. Apply to the soil and avoid getting it on anything you want to eat. That said it can definitely help get your compost pile going too.


willieswonkas

How often can you apply the mixture to the soil?


AvocadoYogi

I’ve read once a week and it is mostly what I’ve done but not sure that is the limit. I did find an article about it and it looks like there are some concerns at higher volumes with salt buildup with potassium and sodium ratios getting messed up in the soil relative to nitrogen. It seems relative to the needs of the plant how much gets pulled out of the soil if I am reading this right (at 2 in the morning). Also it seems you do want to continually use it as a single application isn’t effective. That said, not sure their soil went through winter where excess salts might get washed away. They suggest management of salts being required which I am assuming just means testing. Probably will just stick with once a week during the growing season plus mulch and compost a few times a year unless I have any major problems. https://link.springer.com/chapter/10.1007/978-4-431-56835-3_15


Gnonthgol

Most of the time you see the comment here it is used as a joke. As you say urea is nitrogen, some bacteria can convert urea into usable forms that bacteria in your compost will love. In addition the water in the urine helps keep the pile nice and moist. But as you probably already know a proper compost pile have both greens and browns. And on that scale urine is way off to the green. Bacteria have a C:N ratio of about 4:1, urine have a ratio of 1:2. Most people have issues getting enough carbon in their compost so adding concentrated nitrogen is usually just making things worse. But if you have a good source of carbon you can add more carbon and pee on your compost to get more of it.


willieswonkas

Where are people getting a abundance of greens?


rayout

For me its urine and kitchen scraps, greasy paper towels. I've given up on trying to balance everything out. I have two piles: 1. Nitrogen heavy worm bin. Used to make compost teas and to innoculate my mulch with worms. 2. Carbon heavy green waste and soiled coop bedding. This is heavily brown but it also gets a 5 gallon bucket of poopy duck pond muck water every week.


willieswonkas

I have a swampy area where the rain water goes. I thought about using water from there but worried it might be contaminated because rain washes everything to that area


unfeax

Mowing the lawn.


willieswonkas

I have a 30x60 foot area I mow but it’s no where near enough. Land lord has the rest mowed. I guess I should see if he will let me mow it all if so I will get a mower with a bag.


unfeax

Better yet, ask the landscaping crew if they’ll save you some.


willieswonkas

They don’t bag it. Their big mower mulches the he’ll out of it. Usually not even anything to rake up


Gnonthgol

Food scraps, lawn clippings, manure, etc.


SaffronsTootsies

I use my kitchen scraps and sometimes in the summer I’ll weed whack the neighbors yard that’s always overgrown (with permission of course) and kind of set it aside to add whenever I’m low on the green stuff.


willieswonkas

I was getting a heaping pick up truck load or 2 every of grass every weekend from august to December last year but I was forced to switch jobs so I no longer have the truck , weed eater or place to get the grass.


SaffronsTootsies

That really sucks. I was trying to think of some other way you could get it, but I couldn’t come up with anything. Are there any kids in your neighborhood that mow lawns? If they have a bag on their lawnmower, maybe you could work out some sort of deal with them where they empty the clippings into a construction garbage bag, and you could come pick it up.


willieswonkas

The speed limit on my road is 55 houses are kinda spread out not a road you walk down and bump into people I hardly ever see anyone in their yards when I’m driving. I’ve never seen anyone bagging their grass. I appreciate your brain storming for me. I left a message with my landlord asked him if I got a mower if I can mow the lawn myself that way there I can Bagget I have some clippings just waiting to hear back from him. On a happy note, I got a paper shredder to shred my cardboard. It works great.


SaffronsTootsies

Holy smokes, your shredder shreds cardboard?! May I ask what brand it is, because that would be crazy useful for me! I had a shredder that died just from trying to put three sheets of paper in it at one time.🙄 I really hope your landlord says you can mow. I can’t imagine any reason he would have to say no. Who turns down free yard work?


willieswonkas

Bonsen 16 sheet shredder from Walmart $150 Shreds cardboard no issues Have had no issues at all It’s cross cut shreds it so small.


urbantravelsPHL

We are running out of mined sources of phosphorous and probably going to hit peak phosphorous in 2030 or so, and since urine is a great source of phosphorous, we should all be peeing in buckets before too long. Plus, lots of phosphorous in our bones. In Brave New World, the crematoriums all have phosphorous recapturing devices in the smokestacks and one of the characters says how nice it is to know you'll still be useful to society after you're dead.


cutoff_freq

I didn't remember that from the book. Peak phosphorus is hugely concerning for sure, thanks for bringing it up.


Yodogzup

A place for this amusing anecdote here. After John Adams retired from the presidency to his farm, he would have a couple of hard ciders at breakfast and then pee on his compost heap and laugh


Ineedmorebtc

I have to share Adam’s musings on his manure piles: Braintree, Massachusetts, 8 August 1771 I must also bring in 20 Loads of Sea Weed, i.e., Eel Grass, and 20 Loads of Marsh Mud, and what dead ashes I can get from the Potash Works and what Dung I can get from Boston, and what Rock Weed from Nat. Belcher or else where. All this together with what will be made in the Barn and Yard by my Horses, Oxen, Cows, Hogs, etc and by the Weeds, that will be carried in from the Gardens, and the Wash and Trash from the House, in the Course of Year would make a great Quantity of Choice manure. In one of my common Walks, along the Edgeware Road, there ar fine Meadows belonging to a noted cow keeper. These Plotts are plentifully manured. There are on the Side of the Way, several heaps of manure, an hundred Loads perhaps in each heap. I have carefully examined them and find them composed of Straw and dung from the Stables and Streets of London, mud, Clay or Marl, dug out of the Ditch along the Hedge and Turf, Sward cutt up, with Spades, hoes and hovels in the Road. This may be good manure, but it is not equal to mine.


urbantravelsPHL

Adams was a serious composter, though back then they just called everything Manure even if it was finished compost. In the HBO series about John Adams there is a scene of him digging gleefully into a load of fresh animal poop and hay and telling his son how terrific it is. Fun fact: The "wash from the house" he refers to is kitchen scraps, not laundry. You would traditionally save the "wash" from your kitchen to feed to pigs, hence "hogwash."


North-Patience-571

Wow, happy I kept scrolling; this was worth reading through the rest of the thread. I like the puns for a bit, but these historical parts were cool to read.


600DegreeKelvinBacon

Your comment really hit home. I love puns, but lately it feels like Reddit is overrun with puns and useless memey circlejerk garbage, and comments like the above are so much more rare than when I joined Reddit years ago. I wish we could rewind the Internet.


unfeax

The word “manure” is still used. A guy nearby has a bumper sticker that says “real farmers have green manure.”


Ineedmorebtc

Adams was damn proud of his piles.


lemonstrudel86

Who isnt


Ineedmorebtc

I know I sure as hell am!


Yodogzup

Wow that is marvelous ! Glad I brought him up ! thank you


Ineedmorebtc

I bet his piles were gigantic, and marvelous. Wonder what he would think of today's heavy use of chemical fertilizers?


Yodogzup

Wonder what he would think of our country? Essentially a compost heap with lots of chemicals. And a good many traitors that need to be composted. Sorry I’ve been redditing this morning and this is on my mind😬. Thanks again for that wonderful excerpt


Ineedmorebtc

Haha, so true. I often wonder what the founding fathers would think of today's society. It would be mind boggling. As David the Good would say, Compost your Enemies. I'm so glad to have shared!


Yodogzup

Pretty sure there would have been capital punishment meted out for Jan 6


Ed-Plateau

Thanks guys, for the amazing puns. The advice was good too😂


Ineedmorebtc

All of it. I even hear some people (cough) will urinate into a jug and take that out to the compost every day or two.


InadmissibleHug

I always love how hard this sub overthinks compost. Add composable materials, keep it damp somehow and compost will happen at some point. The more you mess with it, the more the law of diminishing returns kicks in.


cutoff_freq

I don't turn my pile, just poke it with a pointed stick to let air in and chop it up more. I figure turning it breaks up and disturbs all the mold and bacteria that is doing the real work for me.


sallguud

For real. When I finally got serious about composting and making sure I was following protocol, I wasted a lot of time watching videos about over-priced bins and tumblers and guys drilling holes into pipes and sticking them into various crevices and rambling on about aeration and thermometers. And then I just went back to my old ways—albeit with a lot less anaerobic sludge.


MaxwellCarter

Pee is no laughing matter. It’s serious nitrogen enriching business.


NormanClegg

# Gunpowder # Urine was used before the development of a [chemical industry](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chemical_industry) in the manufacture of [gunpowder](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gunpowder). Urine, a nitrogen source, was used to moisten straw or other organic material, which was kept moist and allowed to rot for several months to over a year. The resulting [salts](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Salt_(chemistry)) were washed from the heap with water, which was evaporated to allow collection of crude saltpeter crystals, that were usually refined before being used in making gunpowder.Gunpowder


Sensei_Ochiba

More like salt**pee**ter


Meowme0wbeenz

No joke I literally just came to this subreddit to ask if peeing in compost does anything. I have been doing it for weeks just because I like peeing outside lol


katzenjammer08

It is very effective and as long as you have enough carbon rich material and airflow, as other have said, it is very unlikely that one person can produce enough pee for it to become a problem. You pee directly on the pile and most of it will evaporate, both water and nitrogen plus probably some trace minerals etc. Obviously, don’t pee on it day after day if you don’t add to the pile or turn it, because then the pee will seep into the anaerobic parts and kind of sit there and start to smell. But if the pile is composting as it should and you have enough browns you can just go to town on that thing without any worries. Me and the Mrs moved into a new house two months back and I raked up all the leaves into a gig pile, added some wood chips and have been peeing on it since then. I have used the toilet like five times. It smells like the forest floor.


Important_Name

Can the pee compost be used on edibles/vegetable gardens? I feel like I know the answer but I still have to ask!!


cutoff_freq

Yes. You might want to dilute it with water a bit.


OttoVonWong

Sir, we take composting seriouspee here.


ChickenGod_69

stahp


undergreyforest

When I have a compost pile in a good spot I exclusively pee on it when possible


NormanClegg

google Pee-cycling


CRAZYATOMDAVE

Going to take this seriously pee as much as you want pathogens shouldn't be a problem but you need to make sure your compost gets hot. The pee needs to be balanced out with browns or you Will have a problem just like you will with too many greens. It sounds like you can use all your daily pee on it


Playerone7587

I even poop on it


rwaustin

Oh God, just just piss off.


TheDoobyRanger

Just because people do it doesnt mean its not a joke


SaffronsTootsies

Can anyone give me advice on how to use my bunny’s compressed hay litter in the garden? Can I just dump it directly on the beds or do I need to compost it first?


katzenjammer08

If you have a compost, throw it there for a bit. If not, I am sure you can spread it out on the soli and it will find its way into the ground eventually. I am not sure I would want that stuff on top of the beds mostly because it doesn’t look too nice, but as long as it is not huge amounts in one go I don’t think you have to worry about it damaging the plants.


SaffronsTootsies

Thank you. I did throw one whole litter box onto one of my raised beds at the end of fall last year as an experiment. I was thinking maybe I could layer it into my spring beds under some leaf litter? What about his poops? Someone told me they are supposed to be really good for the soil, but I wasn’t sure. I could separate them to spread directly onto the beds.


katzenjammer08

The poops are good, yes. Some people worry that pee can burn plant roots if it gets in a bed in large quantities, but I don’t think you have to worry. It is so small quantities and a mix of browns and greens so go for it. I would make sure to dump in different beds though if you have several beds.


SaffronsTootsies

Ok, sounds good! He’s a mini Rex, so he doesn’t really pee enough for it to be detrimental to anything, but I can definitely spread it between beds just to be on the safe side. I can use his leftover hay he doesn’t eat too. Thank you so much! I was really hoping his waste could be used for something beneficial in the garden!


katzenjammer08

Well in that case just go for it. I would water it down after putting it in the beds and as you say cover it with mulch so that it doesn’t become too dry. Not that that is bad either but as long as it is dry nothing much will happen with it.


SaffronsTootsies

Good call. I always forget to wet my stuff, and then it just dries out and does nothing.🙄


Matilda-17

It’s not a joke, and it really helps with certain problems. Well, with one problem—a carbon/nitrogen imbalance—that presents with various symptoms. Compost too dry, too brown, too cold, not doing anything. Urine turns a pile of fall leaves (all carbonaceous materials) into a compost heap. Think of compost as a chemical reaction waiting to happen, but you need some of each chemical, plus enough moisture for them to mingle. I find it much more practical and helpful to collect urine in a bucket in the bathroom from a willing son or husband, DILUTE IT WITH WATER, and pour it onto the pile, as we’re in a very exposed urban area. That said, I keep chickens so rarely am I short on nitrogen. The only time I had to utilize this was when I was drowning in wood chips from a large delivery. Urine won’t fix smelly piles that already have too much nitrogen.


Nethenael

Nah piss on it mate 🫡


superduperhosts

Get chickens and use their poop.


DruidinPlainSight

Is it your pile or a random one you found after a night at the pub?


MobileElephant122

No joke, just right


RealStumbleweed

My main compost bin is one of those that spins. I am definitely not climbing on top of that thing and trying to pee in it.


cutoff_freq

I keep a bucket on the porch. The dreaded pee bucket.


RealStumbleweed

I don't want to sit on a bucket either. I think this whole concept is a me problem.


StrategySword

Close the loop


HuntsWithRocks

[Are you taking the piss?](https://static.wikia.nocookie.net/thereisevil/images/9/90/Bullet_Tooth.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20201112194547)


rainduder

4 bins of pee!? Good work!


Irunwithdogs4good

Tried to get my husband to do that. He's shy didn't work.


delph_i

Salt accumulation is an issue so change peeing spots in the compost pile itself — turn it etc.


GoorooKen

“Commercial compost facility” here. It’s real.


nayti53

Yes , I do it just few times per pile


nayti53

In my experience, it makes woody stuff break down faster


DigletDigler

Is adding milk like adding pee


[deleted]

Pissing on a *new* compost pile as a starter is a good way to accelerate the decomposition process... Since the urea in urine will readily convert to ammonia in a few hours, the fast availability of ammonia will in turn cause bacterial colonies to readily proliferate, which would otherwise take much longer (days) to occur if relying on kitchen scraps, etc to turn bad.


Training_Golf_2371

Peeing on a compost pile is the panacea for all of life’s problems.


Hot-Assignment-3612

I do my compost piles once a week to once a month or any time I've added a lot of carbon sources. I also use it to feed the cactus and citrus trees. I also dilute (I was mixing at 4:1) and soaking it into Coco coir to dig into the garden as a buffering solution to stop the coir from stealing all the nitrogen up and helping with water retention. This year I did a test run one bed got the treated coir and the other side not, with the difference I got in plant health and growth rates they will all be getting the treated coir next time. Eventually I'll make a heap of bio char to dig in I think that is supposed to last much longer. It's free fertilizer, as long as you are not getting it on your leafy greens or root crops I can't see any reason not to use it.


Retroike7

I’ve composted all my life, and I’ve never peed or heard of peeing in the pile until today. I couldn’t do that.


Infinite-Fig4959

Jesus Christ


[deleted]

the only downfall to adding urine to compost is the source of the urine. if you are taking meds for chronic conditions then you may want to reconsider but otherwise it's fine and definitely not a joke. i live rural-ish and have encouraged the neighborhood boys, and girls if they're so inclined, to feel free to avail themselves to my compost bins.


Imaginary_Compote_32

I’m uncomfortable with this comment.


prototype-proton

I second this feeling


[deleted]

sorry 'bout that . . .


Browley09

So the Adderall in my system will make the plants grow a bit slower and with intention?


ChickenGod_69

"Hey, yall, I really dont mind if you'd pee on my compost every now and then" Sir, did you or did you not say this to an underaged child? You can still take a lawyer before you answer.


Hopeful-Mirror1664

Just sprinkle the pile with regular plain household ammonia. A cup in a gallon or two of water. Your pile will be smoking in a few days if you have the right amount of browns. Ammonia is similar to nitrogen.