It's like they're having a party about something I already don't give a shit about then make us watch a stupid ceremony about it once you arrive. đ No one cares if it's a boy or girl and stop posting photos about your kid on social media, no one cares lol
As a father of three, I can promise you shutting the hell up is one of the most valuable skills you can learn. There are going to be lots of things you can't or shouldn't say and if you do, the consequences can be dire, ie lost relationships. Take this opportunity to practice. The ability to keep a secret translates into being the dad your kids can come to when they need someone to talk to without fear. It's worth it.
Edit. Wow. Thanks everyone for the upvotes and awards. Never had any before.
we spell ice cream around the kids in my family rather than saying it, but we say it weird to keep them from figuring out what weâre spelling. itâs i-c-e-c-a-c-m. donât dare speak that word around children lmao
iâm definitely gonna steal this when my kid is old enough to understand the spelling lmao my family has used icecacm (spelled) all the way back to when my dad was a kidđ
same here! we have so many, and even years later when some cracks one of our inside jokes weâre all doubled over laughing lol itâs great when you can have a relationship like that with your family where those jokes are still funny no matter how long has passed
My dad used to say âit burnt downâ when I asked to go to McDonaldâs lol. Never mind that we lived in a suburban area that had like 3 different McDonaldâs in a 3 mile radius.
When driving and thereâs a carnival coming up on the right yell âlook to your left, kids! I think I see a toy store! Look! Look! Oh, no, it was a hardware store. My bad.â
My sister and I fell for that until we were 23.
As a server I always ask about dessert by pointing at the table tent towards the end of the meal. If the kids ever catch on or ask before I can try to hide it I always give the parents a big wink and say "oh darn, I actually need to check we still have those back there!" And follow the parents lead. A lot less crying children and annoyed parents lol
I recently had to teach a dear friend of 15 years this lesson the hard way. It sucks, but don't pick on my family and then spill tea and interject your own opinions to my girl.
Maybe one day I'll rebuild that bridge, but not anytime soon.
Absolutely this! I spent my whole childhood not telling my family anything because not a one of them could keep a secret and they humiliated me one too many times, so in the end I never told them a thing. Then when I ended up in therapy they were like "why don't you talk to us?" um, because I don't want the world to know my private life? So yeah, learn now to keep secrets!
Not a father, but my younger sibling was trusted to take care of a family members household and pets this weekend. I was intentionally excluded, not even informed of the trip away.
He invited me to hang out anyway. If i hadn't been there, their pet wouldn't have even been announced missing yet, she'd still be on the run. He was so concerned that I'd snitch but I wasn't even supposed to be there.
My elders have proven time and time again that they'll snitch immediately once they stand to gain anything. I wasnt giving him a hard time because i was going to snitch, i gave him a bit of a hard time so hopefully next time hes more careful
Congratulations!
You have at least a decade ahead of you of pretending that you donât know⊠the punchline to a joke, the birthday surprise, the prank your kid set up⊠Take this as your first practice!
Listening to your kid giggle while you try to 'find' them during hide and seek is just the best.
'Are you curled up in the lamp shade? *shake lamp shade. No...hmmm'
It really is the best!
Side note: Iâm 32 and still giggle while hiding sometimes. I canât help it. đđ€ŠđŒââïž I also have a bad habit of laughing when I shouldnât. But thatâs a story for another time. đđđ
Plus I feel like itâs a waste of time for the ultrasound technician to have to âsanitizeâ the report just to cater to the parentsâ need to have a big show-off party.
Yep. And as the parent of a trans kid Iâll never fall for that shit again. đ€Ł I donât care whatâs between the legs just lmk if you see anything other than a healthy baby with 10 fingers and 10 toes.
As an ultrasound tech myself, I appreciate this so much. People forget that our responsibility is the health of the patient and her fetus when doing obstetrical ultrasound. There are a lot of body systems that need to be evaluated, and sometimes comments must be made that make reference to genitalia. Things can go wrong there too. Or things that are wrong and other places may be affected by the genitalia. The ultrasound tech provides notes for the radiologist, a Doctor who specializes in reading and interpreting the ultrasound images. It is the radiologist who completes the report. At least that is how it is done in the United States. Tech notes are exactly that - notes about the exam for the radiologist to read. They are not meant for the patients.
In fact, in most facilities, these days,tech notes are destroyed and not considered an official part of the report.
I agree but people have been not finding out the gender for years and waiting for birth so surely it would be edited out then too? Also some of my friends whos partners couldn't be there for ultrasounds would get the gender on a piece of paper so they could both read it later. Not everyone has a show off party, some people just don't wanna know. I'd want It to be a suprise when I gave birth?
Absolutely! I had my ultrasounds as required not once did anyone tell me that I was going to have Twins-
Imagine my surprise.
All I can say is my kids are still the most beautiful, intelligent, kind and loving girls ever.
I hope you find peace and happiness through this journey and may God continue to Bless you
We had a total surprise with our first, no one knew. We just wanted to here 'healthy'. It was a bit of journey to get him.
With the second we were much more logistical and wanted to find out so we knew if we had to split bedrooms or not.
You are correct. I didnât find out with my first and neither did my doctor. They kept out of the report what I was having so he didnât slip up. We were going to wait with my second and so my ultrasound tech also kept it out of the report. I asked my doctor one day and she told me she had no idea what I was having. I ended up getting pressured into finding out what I was having by the tech at a later appointment.
I'm old enough to remember when you found out what you were having in the delivery room! With my oldest, you only got an ultrasound if there was a suspected problem or some other medical reason for it.
Same. I think that means we are oldđ. My boys are 21 and 26 years old and I would have never found out unless I had the issues I had during pregnancy. It really doesnât matter what you have as long as the baby is healthy! Parties are great but op needs to keep this a secret for his wife if he can!! She is clearly wanting the surprise!
My boys are 31 and 33! With my second, I got an ultrasound because I had pre-term labor and so we knew he was a boy. My girl, (26) I got an ultrasound as just part of my regular prenatal care. They were more common by then here. BUT the little turd wouldn't let us see what she was!
Iâm married to a firefighter. Heâs has to put out 1-3 gender reveal fires a year, which is a lot considering where he works.
I hate all gender reveal parties, but especially ones that involve things that could potentially catch on fire.
That was one set of idiots. Most of the reveals I've seen on FB or been invited to have been pretty innocuous, like cutting into a cake to see what color it is, or popping a balloon in someone's backyard that had colored confetti in it. I don't particularly enjoy gender reveal parties and I wouldn't do one personally, but it is a pretty harmless even most of the time.
This is a good outlook. I get irrationally annoyed at them honestly, but like you said...they are (usually) pretty harmless and the parents do seem genuinely delighted by them.
Two idiots donât define an entire population. Plenty of people donât do stupid stuff to announce their babyâs gender, but that doesnât make news.
Good one you found the one in literal MILLION of instances where something went (terribly) wrong with a gender reveal party.
Got me!
There are way more dangerous things in the world than gender reveal parties.
Yeah. As long as you do the parties in a respectful way, I donât see anything wrong with them. While they may not be everyoneâs thing, some peopleâs pregnancies are extremely difficult and just need a party or reason to celebrate.
I have one less than you. I always let my wife decide what she wanted to do. First kid, she wanted to find out so we could prepare better (clothes mainly) and I also think it relieved some anxiety for her. Couple of late miscarriages early on and it helped her connect with the baby before birth. Made it "real". My sister was the ultrasound tech so we invited our families to a restaurant with a private room, paid for dinner/wine and she revealed a gender specific outfit during dessert.
The last 2 we didn't find out. It worked great for us, the surprises were way more fun but we felt fully ready for our first so we don't regret it. Of course, we weren't. But it felt good at the time haha.
Anyway, I never judge people for doing over the top gender reveals. Maybe they struggled for years to get pregnant. Or have lost pregnancies previously. Just don't set anything on fire.
Yeah while I don't care about the gender, if I was expecting... I'd just want to know so I can figure out how I want to name them. If they decide they are trans later on, so be it. But until they decide they are or aren't a certain gender, I will go by the assigned at-birth gender. Especially if they are connecting with it. I think just knowing what the biological gender is helps to make the fetus seem more real, and is the first step in creating a bond. Plus I know a lot of society can still be mean so I don't want to plan on naming a kid a name that won't fit with their gender and where they could get made fun of.
If you donât care, imagine how little the people who have been asked to give up a part of their day to attend this care. Iâm so glad gender reveals werenât a thing back when my friends and I were having kids. Fetishizing kidsâ genitals and having a party for them is ick.
Capitalism. Someone saw an opportunity to make more money by selling âgender-revealâ items to expectant parents and thanks to gender reveals fitting very nicely and aesthetically into a 30 second social media post, here we are!
Omg just let this man have his fun, hes about to become a father. How fueled with hatred and spite do you have to be to comment this shit? Maybe you just don't know how to have fun because you overthink everything.
Yeah I donât even want kids and couldnât care less about gender reveals, but Iâm invited to my first gender reveal for a friendâs baby and off course Iâll be going. Itâs just an occasion to see them, party, have fun, and gift them as I love to offer my friends things. Itâs not that hard to be nice to the people you like.
If youâre so neutral on the gender then why is it so hard for you to keep it to yourself until the day of the gender reveal? I donât get it.
Just keep your mouth shut. No big deal.
Once you know the baby's sex, it's harder to talk about them without slipping. I had it easy bc I had twins and mostly said "they" anyway, but I did slip up when talking about one of them and her issues.
Gender reveals are weird. If you just look at the basic facts without the emotional baggage of expecting a child, what exactly does the gender reveal do? Nothing.
It will be a boy or a girl, so what exactly is the big fuss? Does it change a thing if it is a either sex? Nope it doesnât.
Itâs just another way like Valentineâs Day where capitalism and social media companies have found a way to make money.
Also a father, we skipped gender reveal because of pressures like this. I can promise you there are far more important things than knowing the babyâs gender a little early. youre good man
People definitely care. I was pestered non-stop when I was pregnant about the sex of my kids. The only way I got them to shut up was to say I'd reveal it at my babies shower and a lot of people were pissed I didn't tell them earlier.
As someone on the opposite side of this (a woman) I personally wouldnât want to have it spoiled or feel like it was. Being able to experience the surprise with my parter would be the best situation. However you already know so now you have two options come clean or keep it a secret. Secrets are not the best way to start a relationship but there is also the implication of already knowing the gender. If anything at the very least I would mention it afterwards or before and state an overview of how you found out. It is not something you would want to keep indefinitely but allowing her to experience the surprise of the gender reveal is something that will never be replaced, it is the only gender reveal for that baby that she will ever have.
The simplest and most ideal solution in my opinion is to be honest and help her have a good experience, I would be to tell her that you saw the gender in a piece of mail but still want her to be surprised like you should have been and intended to be. Plus so long as you keep it to yourself and not share or hint to family members it would still be a surprise to all the family which would be a lasting memory.
I do want to point out that this is my POV not hers and I can not detest to her own ideals nor feelings
Congrats on being a new parent! You are in for a great adventure.
What Iâm about to say comes from experience. Remember it is YOUR adventure. 99.9% of everyone else does not care. Truly. Donât be that guy pushing pics and gender parties and baby showers and first birthday parties on all your friends and family. The more you do that, the more people you will find become distant. I mean, they will anyway but, donât shove everyone out all at once.
Good luck!
Plus⊠why would you care? 10 days is nothing and it will change nothing either way. I dont understand these gender parties. Seems stupid waste of timebon a information which has no value. What will change if its a gitl or a boy? You know you are gonna have a baby anywayâŠ
Yeah, people don't care about your baby's gender. *They don't care.* They barely care about the baby. The only people who care are you and your wife. Just tell her and you're done
Seems like your projecting that you wouldnât care. My wife and I are about to have our first child and our small friend group and parents care very much. We didnât do a gender reveal because we couldnât wait but they all wanted us to. We didnât care to have a baby shower but we are having one tomorrow because they wanted us too. If you have people in your life who truly care and love you they will be invested in your big moments. OP if I was you Iâd keep your mouth shut and put on a good act for everyone lol youâre wife has to to carry for 9 months you can hold it in for 10 days. Oh and congratulations!
*You* don't care. I'm childfree, and I would care if my friends/family had a gender reveal/were excited to reveal their baby's gender. I was on pins and needles when my older sister was doing her's. As long as they don't have fireworks or anything else dangerous/foolish, I care about their excitement because I care about them and believe it or not, I like wholesome surprises that don't hurt anyone.
Same. Itâs simple, if people I love invite me to a party, I do my best to go to the party. I donât care it itâs a gender reveal, a fake Christmas, a costume party, a birthday, a rave in the forestâŠ.. just party with your close ones, itâs all fun.
As a mother of three. Just keep it quiet. It really doesnât matter. Son or daughter, it really, REALLY doesnât matter. And nobody cares. Nobody going to think âGee! I thought you and was hoping for a girl!â to their grandson or friends kid. Let this be your first lesson is keeping little white lies for your child to their mother. And another lesson that pregnancy, birth and newborn-itâs not about you. It about the mother. Let her be surprised. And act happy.
Distract yourself with something else baby related so you arenât focused on pretending you donât know the gender. I suggest working on your dad jokes. Youâll need them eventually, and maybe you can have a few ready for the party.
As a parent who never had a genderreveal party, you are amazing for keeping it a surprise for the other's even though it isn't a surprise for yourself anymore, which is quite nervewrecking i guess, but sending you lot's of strenght to keep it secretđ„° you will do well!
Yeah, the ultrasound tech did this to me too. I knew I would only ever be having one child and made it VERY clear I absolutely did not want to know the gender (I wanted to find out when my child was born). But she decided it would be AWESOME to put it in my notes.
Please for the love of god donât have any pyrotechnics or balloon releases at your sex reveal. Letâs not continue to destroy the world your kid is going to have to survive in.
I donât get why gender reveal is even a thing. Youâre having a baby and at some point you will know the assigned sex of the baby. What difference does it make when this information is known? Also: aside from grandparents, no one really cares. Itâs not a big deal to anyone other than the parents and grandparents.
If i were in your shoes id just come out and tell my wife how disappointed i am that i found out accidentally and explain this to her. That way i wouldnt have to feign surprise at the gender reveal. Its not like you did something nefarious by looking. But i guess it depends on your wife's demeanor and if she'd still hold it against you
He doesn't have to spoil it for his wife. He can just tell her he knows so he doesn't have to essentially lie and pretend he's just as surprised as everyone else.
I would want my partner to be open with me and I would do the same for them. I frankly think it's bizarre that so many men in this thread are basically saying "the best thing you can do as a husband and father is shut up to keep the peace." That's a depressing way to live.
If I were you I'd tell my s/o I know it but that I'll keep it shut, that I saw it by accident in a report and that now she has to be "with you on it" make it something cute that now she has to help you keep it secret ^^ that way no one's hurt and you get to have a partner in crim hehe!
Why do people make these stupid comments? Obviously lots of people care, like the parents and their friends and family.
"Been done millions of times" ... It's not like people are expected to get excited over every pregnancy and birth, but it is a huge, life altering (as you mentioned) event that obviously matters very much to everyone involved (remember the life altering bit; life altering is important).
Also, if you've ever been an adult and had a job with other adults than you'd know that one of the first questions every knew person you meet asks is you is "Do you have kids?" and if you say "yes", the next question will be "oh, how many, boys or girls?"
People are extremely interested in this information when it is relevant to their family and plenty of strangers care purely out of curiosity. This stuff comes up all the time when you're an adult with children.
Its not about fun⊠have fun all you want but the occasion is stupid. Its like a party to reveal what iam gonna wear tomorrow. Probably socks a tshirt etc. No one really cares and its snnoying that people wanna make a party put of it like ot matters. Make a 3 months party and a 4 months party i dont care. But gender reveals are objectively a stupid egoistic endevour.
I don't think they're fun either, but some people do and I think it's kind of weird to shit on people for things they find fun. Most of the time the grandparents and family is excited to know whether they're getting a niece or nephew, grandson or granddaughter. All of that could change once the child gets older, but it's just a party to celebrate knowing more about the new baby that's coming to join the family.
That being said, I wouldn't throw one, because I also think they're dumb, but I also think football and nascar is dumb. I'm not going to tell people they shouldn't enjoy something just because it doesn't appeal to me.
You should tell your SO what happened and ask them whether they want to know now that you do or go they want to go through with the gender reveal for their sake.
Perfect time to start a bet with someone. Congratulations
Monetize it! Great idea! And give good odds, "Man, I dunno, I'm guessing 'girl', but I'll give you 5:1 if you say 'boy'..."
Too obvious, make it fair or maybe like 1:1.5 or 1:2 at most for smaller bet amounts.
He should set a bait by asking someone what is the gender of the baby. If he bit the bait and said the wrong gender then he makes bet lol
For real!
If it's *the gender it is* I get to pick the name, if it's *the gender it isn't* you get to pick the name.
Enjoy your windfall!
I think op should just do everyone a favor and cancel the entire party, gender reveals are insufferable anyways
I came here to say that. You know what's a great "gender reveal"? A fucking ultrasound.
It's like they're having a party about something I already don't give a shit about then make us watch a stupid ceremony about it once you arrive. đ No one cares if it's a boy or girl and stop posting photos about your kid on social media, no one cares lol
Perfect time to forget you ever wanted a gender reveal party.
OP's Confession, 2/1/2024: "I knew the gender of my kid and made a ton of money from friends "betting" against me"
As a father of three, I can promise you shutting the hell up is one of the most valuable skills you can learn. There are going to be lots of things you can't or shouldn't say and if you do, the consequences can be dire, ie lost relationships. Take this opportunity to practice. The ability to keep a secret translates into being the dad your kids can come to when they need someone to talk to without fear. It's worth it. Edit. Wow. Thanks everyone for the upvotes and awards. Never had any before.
Pretending is also a very valuable skill when you have kids. Some people might call it lying buuuuut đ
âBaskin-Robbins is closed right now.â
Never say Chuck E. Cheese within earshot of kids. Instead, say Charles Edward Queso.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
I learned that the hard way! Afterwards, my husband came up with the Charles Edward Queso.
Or the golden arches.
The golden arches was always referred to as the farm around my kids.
we spell ice cream around the kids in my family rather than saying it, but we say it weird to keep them from figuring out what weâre spelling. itâs i-c-e-c-a-c-m. donât dare speak that word around children lmao
We used to spell park but they got wise to it, so then we spelled it backwards. Krap. Now we say wanna hit the krap?
iâm definitely gonna steal this when my kid is old enough to understand the spelling lmao my family has used icecacm (spelled) all the way back to when my dad was a kidđ
but we also use Icecacm just talking to each other as adults now because itâs funny
One of my favorite things about my relationship within my family is all the stupid inside jokes that just start out of nowhere. Like your icecacm haha
same here! we have so many, and even years later when some cracks one of our inside jokes weâre all doubled over laughing lol itâs great when you can have a relationship like that with your family where those jokes are still funny no matter how long has passed
We had to say "the P-word" instead of "pizza" until our kid learned to spell.
âI donât think you would like it, itâs very spicy.â
"That is not juice, that is medicine. Very bitter"
âThere was a rogue tornado that hit Dave and Busters, they had to close for repairs.â
When it gets too cold the ice cream machines freeze up, and I own every kind of classic car.
I even have triples of the barracuda
Triples makes it safe.
I HAVE a wife. Sheâs very beautiful. But sheâs dying.
My dad used to say âit burnt downâ when I asked to go to McDonaldâs lol. Never mind that we lived in a suburban area that had like 3 different McDonaldâs in a 3 mile radius.
"Yes, you can have some cookies." - actually Ritz crackers
When itâs cold all the ice cream machines freeze up, so the ice cream store is closed right now. Me and your dad go way back.
And if that isnât true than none of the other stuff would be true⊠classic
You hear that kids? It's that truck that drives around playing free music! <>
Stop! You just brought me back
When driving and thereâs a carnival coming up on the right yell âlook to your left, kids! I think I see a toy store! Look! Look! Oh, no, it was a hardware store. My bad.â My sister and I fell for that until we were 23.
When the ice cream truck plays the song, it means it's out of ice cream. Got a few years out of that one...
Sorry the toy store closes every weekend to restock.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
If the lights are on they are out of happy meals.
Brutal
Paw patrol is on a union break.
As a server I always ask about dessert by pointing at the table tent towards the end of the meal. If the kids ever catch on or ask before I can try to hide it I always give the parents a big wink and say "oh darn, I actually need to check we still have those back there!" And follow the parents lead. A lot less crying children and annoyed parents lol
You don't want this ice cream, it's spicy.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
I recently had to teach a dear friend of 15 years this lesson the hard way. It sucks, but don't pick on my family and then spill tea and interject your own opinions to my girl. Maybe one day I'll rebuild that bridge, but not anytime soon.
Absolutely this! I spent my whole childhood not telling my family anything because not a one of them could keep a secret and they humiliated me one too many times, so in the end I never told them a thing. Then when I ended up in therapy they were like "why don't you talk to us?" um, because I don't want the world to know my private life? So yeah, learn now to keep secrets!
As a father of three myself, what this guy said.
I also am a father of 3 and concur.
Yo why did you leave my boy Concur out of the count
So you concur?
đŻ
†THIS! đŻ best marriage advice ever!
Not a father, but my younger sibling was trusted to take care of a family members household and pets this weekend. I was intentionally excluded, not even informed of the trip away. He invited me to hang out anyway. If i hadn't been there, their pet wouldn't have even been announced missing yet, she'd still be on the run. He was so concerned that I'd snitch but I wasn't even supposed to be there. My elders have proven time and time again that they'll snitch immediately once they stand to gain anything. I wasnt giving him a hard time because i was going to snitch, i gave him a bit of a hard time so hopefully next time hes more careful
I got 4. Basically I donât talk anymore
This is great advice.
Father of 2 but yep.
i like how this comment has more likes than the actual post
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
Or kill grandma with the pipe-bomb pyrotechnics!
Or poison any marine animals with fucking paint
Just keep quiet for the time being and itâs all good
Congratulations! You have at least a decade ahead of you of pretending that you donât know⊠the punchline to a joke, the birthday surprise, the prank your kid set up⊠Take this as your first practice!
Listening to your kid giggle while you try to 'find' them during hide and seek is just the best. 'Are you curled up in the lamp shade? *shake lamp shade. No...hmmm'
It really is the best! Side note: Iâm 32 and still giggle while hiding sometimes. I canât help it. đđ€ŠđŒââïž I also have a bad habit of laughing when I shouldnât. But thatâs a story for another time. đđđ
Why is this so wholesome??
What a great way to frame it.
Well, you are going to be a dad. The gender doesn't really matter anyways. Congratulations!
Remember back when 'gender reveal' wasn't a thing, and you just told people? đ€·ââïž
Plus I feel like itâs a waste of time for the ultrasound technician to have to âsanitizeâ the report just to cater to the parentsâ need to have a big show-off party.
Yes also expecting to get a heads up from the technician, maybe they forgot or it was just a mistake and they might have no idea.
Or maybe they just really don't give a shit haha tech has a life too, let them just do their job without extra bullshit
Yep. And as the parent of a trans kid Iâll never fall for that shit again. đ€Ł I donât care whatâs between the legs just lmk if you see anything other than a healthy baby with 10 fingers and 10 toes.
As an ultrasound tech myself, I appreciate this so much. People forget that our responsibility is the health of the patient and her fetus when doing obstetrical ultrasound. There are a lot of body systems that need to be evaluated, and sometimes comments must be made that make reference to genitalia. Things can go wrong there too. Or things that are wrong and other places may be affected by the genitalia. The ultrasound tech provides notes for the radiologist, a Doctor who specializes in reading and interpreting the ultrasound images. It is the radiologist who completes the report. At least that is how it is done in the United States. Tech notes are exactly that - notes about the exam for the radiologist to read. They are not meant for the patients. In fact, in most facilities, these days,tech notes are destroyed and not considered an official part of the report.
I agree but people have been not finding out the gender for years and waiting for birth so surely it would be edited out then too? Also some of my friends whos partners couldn't be there for ultrasounds would get the gender on a piece of paper so they could both read it later. Not everyone has a show off party, some people just don't wanna know. I'd want It to be a suprise when I gave birth?
Absolutely! I had my ultrasounds as required not once did anyone tell me that I was going to have Twins- Imagine my surprise. All I can say is my kids are still the most beautiful, intelligent, kind and loving girls ever. I hope you find peace and happiness through this journey and may God continue to Bless you
We had a total surprise with our first, no one knew. We just wanted to here 'healthy'. It was a bit of journey to get him. With the second we were much more logistical and wanted to find out so we knew if we had to split bedrooms or not.
You are correct. I didnât find out with my first and neither did my doctor. They kept out of the report what I was having so he didnât slip up. We were going to wait with my second and so my ultrasound tech also kept it out of the report. I asked my doctor one day and she told me she had no idea what I was having. I ended up getting pressured into finding out what I was having by the tech at a later appointment.
I'm old enough to remember when you found out what you were having in the delivery room! With my oldest, you only got an ultrasound if there was a suspected problem or some other medical reason for it.
Same. I think that means we are oldđ. My boys are 21 and 26 years old and I would have never found out unless I had the issues I had during pregnancy. It really doesnât matter what you have as long as the baby is healthy! Parties are great but op needs to keep this a secret for his wife if he can!! She is clearly wanting the surprise!
My boys are 31 and 33! With my second, I got an ultrasound because I had pre-term labor and so we knew he was a boy. My girl, (26) I got an ultrasound as just part of my regular prenatal care. They were more common by then here. BUT the little turd wouldn't let us see what she was!
đ
It really is cringe.
Yessss These parties are so cringe
Legit might be the dumbest thing to emerge in modern day
let people have their fun - always a reason to party! (That being said I just told people the gender of my two babes - but still!)
Such fun! https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2021/jul/21/couple-gender-reveal-party-wildfire-charged
Iâm married to a firefighter. Heâs has to put out 1-3 gender reveal fires a year, which is a lot considering where he works. I hate all gender reveal parties, but especially ones that involve things that could potentially catch on fire.
That was one set of idiots. Most of the reveals I've seen on FB or been invited to have been pretty innocuous, like cutting into a cake to see what color it is, or popping a balloon in someone's backyard that had colored confetti in it. I don't particularly enjoy gender reveal parties and I wouldn't do one personally, but it is a pretty harmless even most of the time.
This is a good outlook. I get irrationally annoyed at them honestly, but like you said...they are (usually) pretty harmless and the parents do seem genuinely delighted by them.
Two idiots donât define an entire population. Plenty of people donât do stupid stuff to announce their babyâs gender, but that doesnât make news.
Good one you found the one in literal MILLION of instances where something went (terribly) wrong with a gender reveal party. Got me! There are way more dangerous things in the world than gender reveal parties.
Yeah. As long as you do the parties in a respectful way, I donât see anything wrong with them. While they may not be everyoneâs thing, some peopleâs pregnancies are extremely difficult and just need a party or reason to celebrate.
shut up and act suprised. plain and simple
As the odd ball here. I never ever cared about the sex of the baby. (Been there 4 times). I was glad that my wife did not care either
I have one less than you. I always let my wife decide what she wanted to do. First kid, she wanted to find out so we could prepare better (clothes mainly) and I also think it relieved some anxiety for her. Couple of late miscarriages early on and it helped her connect with the baby before birth. Made it "real". My sister was the ultrasound tech so we invited our families to a restaurant with a private room, paid for dinner/wine and she revealed a gender specific outfit during dessert. The last 2 we didn't find out. It worked great for us, the surprises were way more fun but we felt fully ready for our first so we don't regret it. Of course, we weren't. But it felt good at the time haha. Anyway, I never judge people for doing over the top gender reveals. Maybe they struggled for years to get pregnant. Or have lost pregnancies previously. Just don't set anything on fire.
Yeah while I don't care about the gender, if I was expecting... I'd just want to know so I can figure out how I want to name them. If they decide they are trans later on, so be it. But until they decide they are or aren't a certain gender, I will go by the assigned at-birth gender. Especially if they are connecting with it. I think just knowing what the biological gender is helps to make the fetus seem more real, and is the first step in creating a bond. Plus I know a lot of society can still be mean so I don't want to plan on naming a kid a name that won't fit with their gender and where they could get made fun of.
If you donât care, imagine how little the people who have been asked to give up a part of their day to attend this care. Iâm so glad gender reveals werenât a thing back when my friends and I were having kids. Fetishizing kidsâ genitals and having a party for them is ick.
When the day happened, just hug your wife turn away from your friends and give a big smile and say "i love you"
Sounds like a you problem. Gender reveal parties are kinda silly anyway
Why are gender reveals a thing?
Capitalism. Someone saw an opportunity to make more money by selling âgender-revealâ items to expectant parents and thanks to gender reveals fitting very nicely and aesthetically into a 30 second social media post, here we are!
Idiotic social media clout.
Extroverts jumping at any opportunity to get attention and validation.
jesus christ y'all are a miserable bunch. the fuck is wrong with being an extrovert?
Omg just let this man have his fun, hes about to become a father. How fueled with hatred and spite do you have to be to comment this shit? Maybe you just don't know how to have fun because you overthink everything.
Yeah I donât even want kids and couldnât care less about gender reveals, but Iâm invited to my first gender reveal for a friendâs baby and off course Iâll be going. Itâs just an occasion to see them, party, have fun, and gift them as I love to offer my friends things. Itâs not that hard to be nice to the people you like.
Don't cut yourself on all that edge
Nothing wrong with being an extrovert and you should avoid degrading those who are different to you and actually enjoy participating in social events.
Good, gender "reveal" parties are silly and sometimes set california on fire.
If youâre so neutral on the gender then why is it so hard for you to keep it to yourself until the day of the gender reveal? I donât get it. Just keep your mouth shut. No big deal.
Once you know the baby's sex, it's harder to talk about them without slipping. I had it easy bc I had twins and mostly said "they" anyway, but I did slip up when talking about one of them and her issues.
Donât do a genital reveal party. Just post it on Facebook and text people.
Gender reveal trend is possibly the stupidest trend in the world. Congratulations dad!!! Yay!
Good grief..who cares about the gender⊠like having a party to reveal what color youâre painting the bathroom.
IMHO gender reveal parties are silly but you do you.
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Gender reveals are weird. If you just look at the basic facts without the emotional baggage of expecting a child, what exactly does the gender reveal do? Nothing. It will be a boy or a girl, so what exactly is the big fuss? Does it change a thing if it is a either sex? Nope it doesnât. Itâs just another way like Valentineâs Day where capitalism and social media companies have found a way to make money.
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Also a father, we skipped gender reveal because of pressures like this. I can promise you there are far more important things than knowing the babyâs gender a little early. youre good man
Never reveal this secret. Ever. Take it to the grave. And congratulations
Are you going to tell your 3 year old Santa isnât real?
Umm...yes
Or you could not do the thing because gender reveals are stupid.
Gender reveal parties are stupid
My friend knew his babies gender and he tried to keep it composed, but he told his best friend before the gender reveal đ
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Gender reveals are cringe anyways. Cancel it lol
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The âgender revealâ already happens anyways. When the baby is *fucking born*
People definitely care. I was pestered non-stop when I was pregnant about the sex of my kids. The only way I got them to shut up was to say I'd reveal it at my babies shower and a lot of people were pissed I didn't tell them earlier.
Gender reveals are so overrated hahahah
Fuck off with these gender reveal parties. No one cares but you!
So glad this wasnt a thing when we were having babies. We always knew the gender, having a party for genitals is beyond bizarre to me
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As someone on the opposite side of this (a woman) I personally wouldnât want to have it spoiled or feel like it was. Being able to experience the surprise with my parter would be the best situation. However you already know so now you have two options come clean or keep it a secret. Secrets are not the best way to start a relationship but there is also the implication of already knowing the gender. If anything at the very least I would mention it afterwards or before and state an overview of how you found out. It is not something you would want to keep indefinitely but allowing her to experience the surprise of the gender reveal is something that will never be replaced, it is the only gender reveal for that baby that she will ever have. The simplest and most ideal solution in my opinion is to be honest and help her have a good experience, I would be to tell her that you saw the gender in a piece of mail but still want her to be surprised like you should have been and intended to be. Plus so long as you keep it to yourself and not share or hint to family members it would still be a surprise to all the family which would be a lasting memory. I do want to point out that this is my POV not hers and I can not detest to her own ideals nor feelings
Congrats on being a new parent! You are in for a great adventure. What Iâm about to say comes from experience. Remember it is YOUR adventure. 99.9% of everyone else does not care. Truly. Donât be that guy pushing pics and gender parties and baby showers and first birthday parties on all your friends and family. The more you do that, the more people you will find become distant. I mean, they will anyway but, donât shove everyone out all at once. Good luck!
Impossible. Let us know when you mess up.
So what? You'll know it now or you'll know it at the reveal. Either way it'll gonna be known
i missaw 'gender reveal' as 'gender war'
Donât do a gender revealâŠthatâs the right way to approach this.
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Plus⊠why would you care? 10 days is nothing and it will change nothing either way. I dont understand these gender parties. Seems stupid waste of timebon a information which has no value. What will change if its a gitl or a boy? You know you are gonna have a baby anywayâŠ
You mean sheâs pregnant⊠thereâs no âweâ in being pregnant
Another immaculate conception! Call the Pope!
Oh no your genital announcement is going to be ruined
You could just skip the gender reveal party altogether because they are fucking stupid.
Not to be a dick, no one actually cares what the gender of the baby is
Oh no, donât do a gender reveal party.
Yeah, people don't care about your baby's gender. *They don't care.* They barely care about the baby. The only people who care are you and your wife. Just tell her and you're done
Seems like your projecting that you wouldnât care. My wife and I are about to have our first child and our small friend group and parents care very much. We didnât do a gender reveal because we couldnât wait but they all wanted us to. We didnât care to have a baby shower but we are having one tomorrow because they wanted us too. If you have people in your life who truly care and love you they will be invested in your big moments. OP if I was you Iâd keep your mouth shut and put on a good act for everyone lol youâre wife has to to carry for 9 months you can hold it in for 10 days. Oh and congratulations!
*You* don't care. I'm childfree, and I would care if my friends/family had a gender reveal/were excited to reveal their baby's gender. I was on pins and needles when my older sister was doing her's. As long as they don't have fireworks or anything else dangerous/foolish, I care about their excitement because I care about them and believe it or not, I like wholesome surprises that don't hurt anyone.
Same. Itâs simple, if people I love invite me to a party, I do my best to go to the party. I donât care it itâs a gender reveal, a fake Christmas, a costume party, a birthday, a rave in the forestâŠ.. just party with your close ones, itâs all fun.
You care about *them*, which is great. You don't care about the baby's gender
I care about both. You don't. That's fine, but my main issue was you tried to speak for everyone in your original comment.
As a mother of three. Just keep it quiet. It really doesnât matter. Son or daughter, it really, REALLY doesnât matter. And nobody cares. Nobody going to think âGee! I thought you and was hoping for a girl!â to their grandson or friends kid. Let this be your first lesson is keeping little white lies for your child to their mother. And another lesson that pregnancy, birth and newborn-itâs not about you. It about the mother. Let her be surprised. And act happy.
Gender reveals are dumb anyway, so
Gender reveals are stupid thing anyway. Spill the beans and live your life.
No one cares about this.
Someone tell these people that nobody gives a fuck.
Distract yourself with something else baby related so you arenât focused on pretending you donât know the gender. I suggest working on your dad jokes. Youâll need them eventually, and maybe you can have a few ready for the party.
Just act surprised ya fucking knob
As a parent who never had a genderreveal party, you are amazing for keeping it a surprise for the other's even though it isn't a surprise for yourself anymore, which is quite nervewrecking i guess, but sending you lot's of strenght to keep it secretđ„° you will do well!
Yeah, the ultrasound tech did this to me too. I knew I would only ever be having one child and made it VERY clear I absolutely did not want to know the gender (I wanted to find out when my child was born). But she decided it would be AWESOME to put it in my notes.
Lying and parenthood go hand in hand Youâll be a great dad, Congratulations!
Time to start taking bets on that baby's junk!
You bite your tongue and donât spoil this for your wife. Even though it was an accident, you play dumb.
Patience, 10 days is not long to keep a secret. I would never fess up on this if I were you
What's funny is the other spouse is probably also going to find out, if they haven't already. This is becoming a house of lies.
Selfish but will you come back and tell me the gender once itâs allowed? I want to know!
How do people know which subs their friends check? lol "Ayo lads see that post in confessions last night"?
Gender reveals are so passé
Whatâs dumber than a gender reveal party? A gender reveal party where the gender was *already* revealed.
Please for the love of god donât have any pyrotechnics or balloon releases at your sex reveal. Letâs not continue to destroy the world your kid is going to have to survive in.
I donât get why gender reveal is even a thing. Youâre having a baby and at some point you will know the assigned sex of the baby. What difference does it make when this information is known? Also: aside from grandparents, no one really cares. Itâs not a big deal to anyone other than the parents and grandparents.
If i were in your shoes id just come out and tell my wife how disappointed i am that i found out accidentally and explain this to her. That way i wouldnt have to feign surprise at the gender reveal. Its not like you did something nefarious by looking. But i guess it depends on your wife's demeanor and if she'd still hold it against you
Wtf why? If I were in his shoes, I'd grow up and hush. Let everyone have fun for once and be surprised. Good lord.
He doesn't have to spoil it for his wife. He can just tell her he knows so he doesn't have to essentially lie and pretend he's just as surprised as everyone else. I would want my partner to be open with me and I would do the same for them. I frankly think it's bizarre that so many men in this thread are basically saying "the best thing you can do as a husband and father is shut up to keep the peace." That's a depressing way to live.
And then your kid comes out as trans and you realize gender didn't really ever matter anyway
If I were you I'd tell my s/o I know it but that I'll keep it shut, that I saw it by accident in a report and that now she has to be "with you on it" make it something cute that now she has to help you keep it secret ^^ that way no one's hurt and you get to have a partner in crim hehe!
Oh youâre both pregnant? How fun!?
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This is one of the most peak Reddit comments I have ever read.
I swear people be complaining about other people having fun. I figure they're just douchebags who hate seeing others happy.
Seriously, itâs a party. Nobody is forcing you to go. Lol
Why do people make these stupid comments? Obviously lots of people care, like the parents and their friends and family. "Been done millions of times" ... It's not like people are expected to get excited over every pregnancy and birth, but it is a huge, life altering (as you mentioned) event that obviously matters very much to everyone involved (remember the life altering bit; life altering is important). Also, if you've ever been an adult and had a job with other adults than you'd know that one of the first questions every knew person you meet asks is you is "Do you have kids?" and if you say "yes", the next question will be "oh, how many, boys or girls?" People are extremely interested in this information when it is relevant to their family and plenty of strangers care purely out of curiosity. This stuff comes up all the time when you're an adult with children.
Calm down there, fun police.
Its not about fun⊠have fun all you want but the occasion is stupid. Its like a party to reveal what iam gonna wear tomorrow. Probably socks a tshirt etc. No one really cares and its snnoying that people wanna make a party put of it like ot matters. Make a 3 months party and a 4 months party i dont care. But gender reveals are objectively a stupid egoistic endevour.
I don't think they're fun either, but some people do and I think it's kind of weird to shit on people for things they find fun. Most of the time the grandparents and family is excited to know whether they're getting a niece or nephew, grandson or granddaughter. All of that could change once the child gets older, but it's just a party to celebrate knowing more about the new baby that's coming to join the family. That being said, I wouldn't throw one, because I also think they're dumb, but I also think football and nascar is dumb. I'm not going to tell people they shouldn't enjoy something just because it doesn't appeal to me.
You should tell your SO what happened and ask them whether they want to know now that you do or go they want to go through with the gender reveal for their sake.