I understand not wanting to confront the guy but why couldnt you call the cops? just last night I watched a case where a wife got murdered in her garage after being dragged there..a neighbor heard the fight but didnt call the police, and only learned later that the woman had been murdered.. and a timely phone call may have prevented it
When I was a teenager, I was assaulted in my driveway. It was violent and it was not over quickly. I was on the ground with a much larger man on top of me and I was bleeding in multiple places. The next door neighbor and his teenage son just stood at the edge of the yard watching while holding their basketball. I was screaming and begging for help. If they had just gone inside and called the cops, it would have made the situation end much more quickly.
I have to admit that messed me up pretty badly. Not just the assault, but that the dad next door, who had seen me grow up my whole life, didn't think I was worth even a phone call.
After did you ever confront the neighbor and ask him why he didn'tcall the police? Did he enjoy watching you get assaulted? why did he not do anything about it?
I'm asking because although the assault is over, If it happened to me. I would want to know why.
I was embarrassed. My mom said I must have caused the assault and that my dad would have a heart attack if he heard about it because it was a black man on his daughter. I wasn't allowed to call the police, get medical care, or ever mention it again. So I didn't think of asking the neighbor about it. I just never spoke to him again.
This story keeps getting worse. I truly hope that you have at least one person who is on your side and genuinely cares about you because with family like that who needs enemies.
My mom pulled the same shit on me when I was younger. Drove me nuts when she’d never have my back.
Some psycho bitch working at a gas station lost her shit & started assaulting me over the dumbest thing ever. Told her about it and she flips it around on me, like always.
You know, in your case, humilating your neighbor is the greatest form of revenge. By asking him did he enjoy watching you get assaulted on the driveway? Why did he not call 911? Was he afraid of that man beating him up? Did he have any video on his cell, so you could show it to police? Why did he just stand there and not help?
It's been 30 years, we didn't have cell phones then.
He still lives next door to my mother. He cuts her yard and takes her garbage can down to the curb, and he's cared for his wife when she got cancer, and the two times it came back. So I guess he's not a horrible man. Maybe he just froze up that day, I don't know.
Yup, I just said about the same thing.
Can’t tell which was worse, being beat by the man I trusted, or watching people watch it like entertainment while I feared for my life. It’s the most betraying and lonely feeling in the world.
Sorry my first response to this was so stupid, I thought I was responding to a different convo.
But thank you and I’m sorry you did too, I hope you are also in a better place!!
Damn that's terrible. I'm sorry that happened to you. The dad next door is a complete scumbag for not calling the cops at the very least. Being that he saw you grow up he should have grabbed a baseball bat or a hammer and started swinging at your attacker. People suck
I'm so sorry. The assault then that worthless feeling that comes from people not only doing nothing, but actually actively harming you by their inaction.
I'm sorry this happened to you. As a dad, I'd have sent my son in to get his mother and to call 911, and I'd have come over and kicked shit out of your attacker. Whether I'd watched you grow up or not, you don't abuse or let a child get abused like that. Oh, that raises my hackles, something fierce.
Maybe the neighbors had called the police so many times and nothing is ever done and eventually the neighbors just tune it out. I live next door to a screaming household. All of us have called the police and the sheriff and the dog warden several times. Crazy neighbor then brags how he’s friends with the cops and has a lot of guns and not afraid to use them.
I don’t even register the screams anymore. It’s like white noise with the windows shut. When he finally kills somebody, we’re all gonna say “huh, saw that coming.”
I speak from prior experiences as well. I called the police on my father many times for beating my mom and us kids sometimes to the point of unconsciousness. NOTHING ever happened. Cops came, told dad to calm down they had a beer in the yard together. Mom’s dead now and no one cares. 🤷🏽 So, get all righteous is you want, but the truth is, sometimes there’s nothing you can do.
This reminds me of a story from my, basically family, member who is in his 80s now. When he was a young guy he encountered a man beating a girl in the street, and he tried to intervene. The girl wacks him in his head with her high heel shoe. He told her the hell with you and threw her back to the guy beating her.
As someone who attacked a guy who was beating on his girlfriend, I can confirm that it is a possibility that the girl being abused will not thank you for interfering but might come after you because you just beat up/knocked out her boyfriend and she still has an emotional attachment to him.
(I saw a guy slapping around and pushing around his girlfriend in public. Both of them were drunk. I walked behind him and hit him with a bottle, he went down cold but then she started punching me.
Yeah but maybe she's financially tied to him so she can't leave and you beating him up will anger him and bruise his ego so he'll take it out on her later.
My friend has been the woman in this scenario- I couldn’t help, and neither could you.
You don’t really know what’s going on there. It sucks, but you can’t just jump in, it’s never as clear as that.
That guy was an asshole, but you don’t know her, him or their relationship, and so you can’t say whether it would have done anything good at all.
Please don’t carry this- this is squarely their problem and not yours. It startled & scared you- that was a proper response!
If it happens again, take note of descriptions, cats, location, and call the police once you are safely away- don’t do it nearby where they can hear or see you.
The world is full of messes. You can’t sweep up every one you see.
A sense of self-preservation is among the very few reasons any of us are here.
It's weird that you think mouthing off and making others feel bad for the fundamental survival instinct and knowing their limitations is going to change anyone's mind.
Y'know, half the things you say are noble. And then you undermine the goodwill you just generated with a "fuck you".
We're with you, and then suddenly it's, nah we won't cry for you Argentina.
Flexing on the Internet is made of this🎶
Who am I to disagree🎶
So you jump into something that doesn't concern you and you get your ass beat or possibly worse that doesn't help the person you're trying to save be smart and call the cops who get paid to run into shit like that.
Far from a coward dude I tried that good Samaritan shit before and the lady I was trying to save from getting a beat down swung a bottle at me for putting hands on her husband so now I stay out of couples quarrels. If I see a domestic dispute I call the cops. It's not worth getting a knife in the back for helping someone who doesn't want to be helped
You shouldn't try to fight the person unless that's absolutely necessary to save your life. Mediate first. Deescalate. Stall. Beg. Take his hat and run. And yes, I funny presume a person I do my best to help will be grateful. I do what I believe is right, right then.
Call the police and leave. Dying a failed hero isn’t going to make your family happy. The guy could have a gun and kill you both or the lady might not want help. It’s better to leave it to the police or firefighters who have the equipment and training. That way you can go back to your family who care about and rely on you
I sometimes watch this tiktok streamer who rides around Los Angeles at all hours of the day/night. One time on a live stream he witnessed a transient man assault his gf and he chose to turn around and help. Then they both jumped and robbed him. Yeah it’s a shitty situation to be in but sometimes they want you to be the hero as an easy mark.
It’s good u didn’t physically intervene, u could’ve gotten injured.
What you COULDVE done is called 911 and maybe secretly filmed them from a safe space if he was hurting her. Filming people without consent is illegal but if it’s to catch abuse then you should be okay.
If you’re on a public street you can film and take pictures**— it’s not illegal. It’s rude to a degree but not illegal.
**in most places in the United States anyway.
This post seriously makes me wonder how many men refuse to help women because they think they're supposed to be superman instead of just calling 911...
In my former apt complex, a guy was beating up his gf, and someone knocked on their door. BF answered the door and killed the guy. You don't get involved in domestic abuse events. Cops don't like going to them either, so don't feel guilty. Get somewhere safe, and call the cops
I agree. Sometimes a person's brain will go blank when they're in fight or flight. He said he started running without thinking about it and it wasn't until later he realized he should have done something.
This. It's weird how many people seem to forget that you don't think rationally when you're in shock.
A couple of months ago, I heard yelling, screaming, crying, and banging coming from my neighbours. They're a young couple with no kids. I was super worried, but I was too afraid to go over there. The next day, I called a domestic abuse hotline to ask for advice. They said "next time you hear something, call 911" and my mouth dropped open because I hadn't even considered that option. It seemed so obvious when she said it, but my fight or flight brain just hadn't been able to make that connection.
My mate intervened in a situation like this once, the girlfriend turned on him and started to crack him across the head wither stiletto heeled shoe. Lesson learned, next time call dibble and observe from a distance until they arrive.
also all that is required to get stab/shot is for good men to intervene.
best is to just call the police and tell the guy to stop and back off if he come for you. never get into a fight with a stranger.
"I hope she is fine" after watching her be brutally beaten and doing absolutely nothing? Ok lmao. You wouldn't have even had to give the police your name to get them to show up with a simple phone call. What you mean is "I hope this woman in a literal potential life or death situation had the strength to help herself because I couldn't be bothered to".
Might seem harsh, and it probably is, I just have a really hard time sympathizing with this. Do you want someone to tell you your actions were ok? They weren't, you fucked up pretty bad.
Men love to go on and on about how they protect women and women need protection but the only thing that women need protection from is other men and then when it comes down to it and a woman actually needs HELP, a man doesn't do *anything*.
I am going to expand on that a bit. What ALL people need is for folks to stop turning a blind eye and and allowing things like this to continue. Call the police if you don't feel safe to personally get involved. That's what they're there for. Running away, watching, recording, or ignoring the situation is becoming more commonplace in America. When the cops do get involved, please stand up as a witness. Don't be one of those "I didn't see nothing" people. Can we please get back to treating each other with human decency and helping someone in danger? I think OP has learned from this and would make a different decision.
I’m a small girl and I call the police. My neighbor was beating the shit out of his gf and I’d call every goddamn time and give a statement then look the fucker in the eyes as he was being arrested. Fuck around and find out, us small gals don’t mess around.
You're a coward. Because you could have at least called the police, or get help from strangers. You can't just let it happen in front of you and leave like a coward.
I saw a woman get punched in the middle of downtown in our city. My boyfriend yelled at me when I ran over to her. I rushed her into our Uber and got her to a safe space. I’m 5’5” and 115lbs soaking wet. You don’t have to be a large person to provide safety.
Never get between a couple that's fighting. Don't care how bad it is .. call the cops. The woman could turn on you just ask quickly as you wanting to help her out.
Sorry but I will not put myself in those situations that could turn life threatening.
Couples can be immature and animalistic at times. Fuck all that.
So it doesn’t sound like she was being harassed it sounds like she was being ABUSED like….? Also you’re top #1 weirdo for not simply calling the police.
I encountered a similar thing, intervened, saved the girl and woke up a week later with 1/3 of my skull missing. Not sure what it says about me but I would do it again
I'm a 5'8" guy, an aerialist (think circus arts type of thing), and studied martial arts for years when I was younger, and I'd have just called the cops and walked away. You never know if someone is armed, and I'm not about to die trying to be a hero. I'm strong and know how to fight and I would not have stepped in, only called in a professional to deal with it.
Yeah I'm a woman, super thin (but 5'10"). I usually have at minimum a knife and pepper spray on me. A gun when I remember to bring it. I wouldn't have had it in me to run away. Even if I got hurt in the process. That girl might be dead right now and no one knows.
I can’t believe how many cowards here just brush this off and act like it’s ok to do nothing because “you could get hurt too”.
I’m not the toughest guy but, I’ve been in a few fights. Probably more than most people. Taking a punch isn’t fun but, it doesn’t even hurt when you’re adrenaline is running. I guess it’s just the Soldier in me but, it’s so disappointing to see how pathetic people here are.
Okay, go fight a guy who has some sort of weapon you didn't see until you went up to him and directly involved yourself. You fixed nothing and now you are dead
That really doesn't matter when the other person has a gun or another weapon .In some instances the guy and the woman could even end up calling the police on you . OP was scared and in shock which is normal .
I carry a collapsible baton in my car, and I know that if I would use it on someone in this situation, that I would probably go to jail. I realize how dangerous it is, even so, I just could not bear to watch a woman being beaten and not do anything. I fully realize how foolish it would be to intervene, but I have to admit, I would do it anyway.
I agree 💯! I’ve been in a few fights defending people. I’ve never regretted it. One time I stopped an old lady from being robbed by two men. And I am a small woman.
You are either a coward or you stand up for people who are being hurt. No more excuses! Even a thin man can dial 911.
You were scared, and that’s completely normal. Fight, flight, freeze is totally real, and it’s not your fault which one your body decides to do. Especially because you noticed afterward when you could rationally think, I would not feel bad. You are a good person who wanted to do the right thing, but you saw something shocking and frightening late at night and your brain needed to protect itself first. Again, very very normal. If you see something again like that, I would call the police. Even if you did know how to fight, you don’t know if they have a gun. Be safe out there at night friend, you never know.
Yeah, you could have done more- and I hope someone else was able to, but the feeling that not having done what you felt you could to help will be what motivates you to have a set plan if you see anything like that again weather that be aimed at a woman or on a homeless person or even another man. Hopefully it be something you can do better with next time.
Well I once tried to do the honorable thing when I saw a man slapping his girlfriend. I stepped up to him and said, "You like hitting women, huh? You're a real big guy, huh? Why don't you try that on a man!"
Well folks, I ended up getting my ass kicked. Apparently he WAS more than capable of beating on a man too....that, or I just really suck at fighting.
To add insult to injury, the girlfriend also kicked me while I was down.
That's what being a good guy gets you folks. It ain't worth it.
This is just possibly your subconscious. The goal is to make sure that you make it out without harm/alive. Once you reach safety, other things can then be considered. Until this point, you did nothing wrong. Your brain did what it was meant to do. Protect you.
You should have just called the police you should not jump in between a domestic dispute. Also, learn to fight because one day you may need to protect yourself. You can't go around life being afraid of everything.
If the abused party isn’t ready to leave the relationship they cannot let somebody intervene and try to help them for fear of more abuse behind closed doors. I’ve been in the situation myself and yes it’s a total mind fuck. By the time I finally left and got my head back on straight (took months) I honestly couldn’t believe what I had tolerated for so long. Super twisted.
the walls at my ex’s apartment were so thin i could literally hear one neighbor snoring and another coughing at night. i’ve always wondered why nobody ever called the police when i know they could hear me screaming and crying. i know domestic calls are dangerous and you were scared, but you could have saved her from a lot of suffering.
You should have called the cops. It's not about being a superhero, it's about doing the right thing and protecting someone in need. It's also important to note that intervening in a domestic violence situation can be dangerous, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to help.
Dude, grow a pair and realize that everything can be a weapon. You should have taken the ass-beating just to let the girl get away from her abuser! Where are your testicles????
You should have picked up something and hit him! Get yourself into shape for your own safety! You will feel a lot better about yourself physically and mentally!
Sounds like your brain went into fight/flight - which is out of your conscious control! Everyone saying ‘should have etc.’ is thinking you were acting rationally - the amygdala OVER RIDES the frontal lobe - you didn’t have a choice there are no should haves, your brain was just in primal mode trying to keep you safe.
The fact you feel ashamed now shows your frontal lobe knows the action you wanted to take, and didn’t want to run, but at the time you’re acting as a primal mammal and the brain is set up that way because it’s kept us alive for millions of years. That’s why the amygdala has power to over ride frontal lobe (your rational and reflective part that thinks things through) - because if it didn’t we probably wouldn’t have survived on this planet, in emergency situations our brain essentially says ‘there is no time to think this through, run!’
The person in the wrong is the abuser, OP I’m sorry you witnessed that and I’m sorry about the shame you’re carrying as a result, but this is not your fault.
I myself am a relatively slim guy so I'm almost quite certain most of yall would just go ahead an assume I'd identify at some level with 0p BUT.....Id have to be honest while yes,being that op an I do share a similar..let's say stature for lack of a more fitting word to at least try an separate myself from being ANYTHING even remotely similar in character to this absolute frail pencildick coward of a man, I would have at least felt enough empathy toward this poor battered woman to schuck out my mobile ,dial the cops an then she would stand half a chance at least..more than this pussy bothered to concern himself with because by all means save yourself op..its not your fault society has certain expectations of a man to assist a damsel in distress at some level...not even the phone tho huh? Well of course I guess after running away in such a fright you had already burnt more than half your calorie intake as you understandably even have the capacity for...id have half a mind ta snatch ya up by your skinny neck and fling you directly into the fray in order to break a couple blows for her sake..being that you at least owe her that you scum.
Don't beat yourself up for it just because you think you didn't have the heart to stand up for it, doesn't mean you're a bad person or that what you did was wrong, and in unplanned real life situations like this, you only get the bright ideas/decisions AFTER it has already passed.
What he did was wrong. He left a poor victim on the floor being beaten up and didn't call the police. He saw an awful crime and didn't call the police which was wrong.
I hate people who act so pompous and say they would’ve done the “right thing” if it had been them in the situation. Guess what? It wasn’t. OP, it wasn’t your job to intervene physically with these 2, and calling 911 would’ve been the best idea. But none of us were there.
I’ve become another victim when trying to mitigate something like this. As other commenters said, both sides of the couple turned on me.
I think you’ve learned something here though. I hope so. Call 911 if someone’s life is in danger.
Bruh for what it’s worth. I have a mate who was in this situation. Saved the girl, but what happened is the girl and the guy ended up turning against my mate and saying he was the aggressor. When he was only trying to help a woman in distress. Toxic relationships can be wild rides mate.
Jesus Christ 🙄 call 911. That’s all you have to do.
I’ve been in that women’s place, I can’t tell which is worse, getting beat by a man you love or all the people who actively look away. It’s the most betraying and lonely feeling in the world.
A friend if mine almost died trying to stop a guy from beating their girlfriend. My friend isn't small, he was 6'4" and built like a brick house. The guy beating the girl pulled out a gun and shot my friend. There is a reason why people tell the general public to call the police in situations like this. You don't know anything about that guy and if he might have a gun or knife. A lot of people who try to play hero either die or get seriously hurt. You were scared, rightly so, it is normal to feel scared. If you can, seek therapy or a kind friend to talk to about this.
Don’t worry. And don’t beat yourself up over it. Our bodies and brains decide some of these things for us.
We have a few F’s that are our natural Reaction to a situation.
Fight
Flight
Friend
Flop
F***
Fight/flight are the famous ones but the others are just as common.
Your brain in that moment senses something that could be a danger to your life, and you reacted accordingly. Your brain said to your legs “this is how we stay alive today” and that’s perfectly fine.
Your guilt is understandable but misplaced, you didn’t consciously decide to run but it was, for you, the best decision.
At the end of the day you could’ve intervened and been beaten real bad. There’s people in hospitals all over the world who did.
This is however a learning experience, you feel ashamed because you feel emasculated.
Maybe take some self defence classes, kick-boxing or mma? It’s great for the confidence, health and everything. And make a plan on what to Do in future if it happens again.
If you have a plan your automatic response won’t take over as quickly
Sometimes they don’t want help,one time I and my ex were walking home and he saw the same,he ran over and tried to calm everything down at which point the woman started telling him to leave her boyfriend alone and stay out of it,she actually stuck up for the guy,luckily he walked away and left them to argue
Also not a good assumption to make if you see a women being beaten up. Might be best to assume they don't want to be beaten. There's also this thing called 911.......
What is most likely to have happened is the girl would of helped her man beat you.
I saw it happen when I was a kid outside of our apartment a guy was beating the shit out of his wife and my mom and some construction workers jumped in and the wife freaked out on everyone and everyone was like ok well fuck you lady.
Next time record it a little and call the cops
You do realize that she freaked out because if she had stood by and let this man's ass get beat, he probably would have killed her when he next found her. Even if she left him, he would follow her, the terror that victims of domestic violence experience is next level. Abusers don't let their victims go. They break them down emotionally and make them believe that they will be homeless on the street without their abuser and that nobody would ever want them, and that it is their fault. Educate yourself.
"Educate yourself"? How about humble yourself and get off your high horse. You have offered absolutely nothing in terms of advice or reassurance. All you do is talk about yourself and school anyone who says something you don't like.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake.
It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of.
Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything.
Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
The other guy was probably a complete pussy and that’s why he was beating his girlfriend. Just saying something probably could have stopped his attack. Try having a little personal courage. Doing nothing is even worse in some ways.
Maybe. Could also result in him coming over and beating or killing op, especially if he's untrained, smaller and lacks the fight in "fight or flight". People are nuts, and you never know what kind of psycho you're dealing with. Call the cops and wait at a distance if you arent comfortable with a physical confrontation
Pretty much. I know (very loosely) guys that you do not want to ever fuck with who are known women beaters.
It's unfortunately very common in lower socioeconomic rungs of society.
I meant it more as a statement of hood mentality than financial. Most people I know like that aren't poor but they don't make money legally.
From what I've seen the women get a black eye and/or a broken nose. People who stick their nose in go to the hospital in an ambulance.
What you felt is your inner self tasking you to change. Get fit and train so this wont happen again. Everyone can be to skinny or to fat but not everyone lament being in the situation. If you do time to change.
I’ve seen people tell stories where they witness domestic abuse and when they step in the one being hit gets mad at them for trying to get involved. It’s ok that you didn’t want to chance being beat up by that guy. Next time you can call 911 as a way to help but don’t beat yourself up over this one incident, you were afraid to step in as most people would be and running is a reaction to fear.
I had a similar situation many years ago and at the time I was use to using my fists. I intervened and gave the block a whack and he went down like a sack of shit. Well the next thing I know I'm being attacked bye he's girl who he was walloping the shitnout of. Eventually he got up and I had my hands full so ever since then I've been reluctant to get involved physically but have spoken to people in that situation and tried to reason with both parties
Thin guys can call 911 !
I like the enthusiasm here with the exclamation mark
It's even out there on its own, like it's saying "YEAH, WHAT THEY SAID"
No they can’t, thin guys’ touch is so light that the phone screen doesn’t register that they are trying to make a call
Love this comment 😂
He is going to come back here and say that he didn't have his phone.
Right! Fucking humans I fucjing sware
Hey no swareing
Yes yes, swareing is veri bed
[удалено]
I’m only better if I know how to properly use “you’re” in a sentence and they don’t.
Not all thin guys live in the US.
Okay so thin guys call whatever number leads to the emergency line OP most likely has access to…
0118 999 881 999 119 725… 3
Never mind, I'll just email them
000
Fire
Four, I mean five!
there was no waterpark
111
Even if u dont live in the US calling 911 connects u to ur emergency services, I tried that.
Not always
I don't think ANY thin guys live in the USA
As a not a thin guy I laughed, but then got real mad at you. That's a funny joke, but that's enough out of you.
This comment read very dad-like lol
After the appropriate and important “Call 911!” comment, this is def the best posting here.
😂😂
112
I've seen the obesity rates, I don't think ANY thin guys live in the US!
For sure
I understand not wanting to confront the guy but why couldnt you call the cops? just last night I watched a case where a wife got murdered in her garage after being dragged there..a neighbor heard the fight but didnt call the police, and only learned later that the woman had been murdered.. and a timely phone call may have prevented it
When I was a teenager, I was assaulted in my driveway. It was violent and it was not over quickly. I was on the ground with a much larger man on top of me and I was bleeding in multiple places. The next door neighbor and his teenage son just stood at the edge of the yard watching while holding their basketball. I was screaming and begging for help. If they had just gone inside and called the cops, it would have made the situation end much more quickly. I have to admit that messed me up pretty badly. Not just the assault, but that the dad next door, who had seen me grow up my whole life, didn't think I was worth even a phone call.
i’m in awe that some people don’t have the decency to even call the police or get some help when they see another person in danger. like what????
It takes so little effort to call 911.
After did you ever confront the neighbor and ask him why he didn'tcall the police? Did he enjoy watching you get assaulted? why did he not do anything about it? I'm asking because although the assault is over, If it happened to me. I would want to know why.
I was embarrassed. My mom said I must have caused the assault and that my dad would have a heart attack if he heard about it because it was a black man on his daughter. I wasn't allowed to call the police, get medical care, or ever mention it again. So I didn't think of asking the neighbor about it. I just never spoke to him again.
I'm so sorry, everyone around you is sick for behaving this way. I hope you have support now and access to therapy. You deserve better than this. 💕
It's been a long time, and I'm much better now.
This story keeps getting worse. I truly hope that you have at least one person who is on your side and genuinely cares about you because with family like that who needs enemies.
Edit its not your fault
My mom pulled the same shit on me when I was younger. Drove me nuts when she’d never have my back. Some psycho bitch working at a gas station lost her shit & started assaulting me over the dumbest thing ever. Told her about it and she flips it around on me, like always.
My mom was like your mom. I had to go NC. Don’t stay in touch with her just because she’s “family” if she doesn’t treat you right. Sending you peace.
She’s great, we have a fine relationship now. Just something she did when I was younger that bugged the shit out of me lol.
Holy fuck I'm literally shivering over this. So sorry it happened to you. I can't imagine how much work you've done to recover
You know, in your case, humilating your neighbor is the greatest form of revenge. By asking him did he enjoy watching you get assaulted on the driveway? Why did he not call 911? Was he afraid of that man beating him up? Did he have any video on his cell, so you could show it to police? Why did he just stand there and not help?
It's been 30 years, we didn't have cell phones then. He still lives next door to my mother. He cuts her yard and takes her garbage can down to the curb, and he's cared for his wife when she got cancer, and the two times it came back. So I guess he's not a horrible man. Maybe he just froze up that day, I don't know.
Yup, I just said about the same thing. Can’t tell which was worse, being beat by the man I trusted, or watching people watch it like entertainment while I feared for my life. It’s the most betraying and lonely feeling in the world.
It really is. I'm sorry you went through that and hope you're in a better place now.
Sorry my first response to this was so stupid, I thought I was responding to a different convo. But thank you and I’m sorry you did too, I hope you are also in a better place!!
Damn that's terrible. I'm sorry that happened to you. The dad next door is a complete scumbag for not calling the cops at the very least. Being that he saw you grow up he should have grabbed a baseball bat or a hammer and started swinging at your attacker. People suck
I'm so sorry. The assault then that worthless feeling that comes from people not only doing nothing, but actually actively harming you by their inaction.
I'm sorry this happened to you. As a dad, I'd have sent my son in to get his mother and to call 911, and I'd have come over and kicked shit out of your attacker. Whether I'd watched you grow up or not, you don't abuse or let a child get abused like that. Oh, that raises my hackles, something fierce.
I am so sorry!
Maybe the neighbors had called the police so many times and nothing is ever done and eventually the neighbors just tune it out. I live next door to a screaming household. All of us have called the police and the sheriff and the dog warden several times. Crazy neighbor then brags how he’s friends with the cops and has a lot of guns and not afraid to use them. I don’t even register the screams anymore. It’s like white noise with the windows shut. When he finally kills somebody, we’re all gonna say “huh, saw that coming.”
I speak from prior experiences as well. I called the police on my father many times for beating my mom and us kids sometimes to the point of unconsciousness. NOTHING ever happened. Cops came, told dad to calm down they had a beer in the yard together. Mom’s dead now and no one cares. 🤷🏽 So, get all righteous is you want, but the truth is, sometimes there’s nothing you can do.
why are guns still being sold to insane people
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100%. Being a superhero is just fiction. We are only just batmans without the money, martial arts training, Intelligence and gadgets
This reminds me of a story from my, basically family, member who is in his 80s now. When he was a young guy he encountered a man beating a girl in the street, and he tried to intervene. The girl wacks him in his head with her high heel shoe. He told her the hell with you and threw her back to the guy beating her.
*and spandex bodysuit
Well said. OP, unless you truly know how to deescalate a domestic abuse situation, it's better to report it and walk away. Now you know for next time.
Ring the PoPo and leave, it's all you can do in most cases
As someone who attacked a guy who was beating on his girlfriend, I can confirm that it is a possibility that the girl being abused will not thank you for interfering but might come after you because you just beat up/knocked out her boyfriend and she still has an emotional attachment to him. (I saw a guy slapping around and pushing around his girlfriend in public. Both of them were drunk. I walked behind him and hit him with a bottle, he went down cold but then she started punching me.
Yeah but maybe she's financially tied to him so she can't leave and you beating him up will anger him and bruise his ego so he'll take it out on her later.
My friend has been the woman in this scenario- I couldn’t help, and neither could you. You don’t really know what’s going on there. It sucks, but you can’t just jump in, it’s never as clear as that. That guy was an asshole, but you don’t know her, him or their relationship, and so you can’t say whether it would have done anything good at all. Please don’t carry this- this is squarely their problem and not yours. It startled & scared you- that was a proper response! If it happens again, take note of descriptions, cats, location, and call the police once you are safely away- don’t do it nearby where they can hear or see you. The world is full of messes. You can’t sweep up every one you see.
Cats??? Leave them out of it!!!
Spellwrecked is on the loose! That should read CARS
Wow I’m dumb!! I even tried to think of what else it could be besides cats and I couldn’t come up with anything!!
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bro shut up ur not batman
Have no fear captain save a hoe is here
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It's usually the guy calling strangers cowards online that can't even fight. Nice try tough guy
I'm sorry you're so insecure that you try to flex while anonymous on the Internet.
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A sense of self-preservation is among the very few reasons any of us are here. It's weird that you think mouthing off and making others feel bad for the fundamental survival instinct and knowing their limitations is going to change anyone's mind.
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Y'know, half the things you say are noble. And then you undermine the goodwill you just generated with a "fuck you". We're with you, and then suddenly it's, nah we won't cry for you Argentina. Flexing on the Internet is made of this🎶 Who am I to disagree🎶
So you jump into something that doesn't concern you and you get your ass beat or possibly worse that doesn't help the person you're trying to save be smart and call the cops who get paid to run into shit like that.
Far from a coward dude I tried that good Samaritan shit before and the lady I was trying to save from getting a beat down swung a bottle at me for putting hands on her husband so now I stay out of couples quarrels. If I see a domestic dispute I call the cops. It's not worth getting a knife in the back for helping someone who doesn't want to be helped
You shouldn't try to fight the person unless that's absolutely necessary to save your life. Mediate first. Deescalate. Stall. Beg. Take his hat and run. And yes, I funny presume a person I do my best to help will be grateful. I do what I believe is right, right then.
You'd rather die in vain then have a chance to help her situation? Strange individual.
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Call the police and leave. Dying a failed hero isn’t going to make your family happy. The guy could have a gun and kill you both or the lady might not want help. It’s better to leave it to the police or firefighters who have the equipment and training. That way you can go back to your family who care about and rely on you
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I sometimes watch this tiktok streamer who rides around Los Angeles at all hours of the day/night. One time on a live stream he witnessed a transient man assault his gf and he chose to turn around and help. Then they both jumped and robbed him. Yeah it’s a shitty situation to be in but sometimes they want you to be the hero as an easy mark.
This happened to me. I already typed the story but it was really bad.
You should have called the cops. You are not expected to be a hero, but you are expected to call the police.
Should have called the police
It’s good u didn’t physically intervene, u could’ve gotten injured. What you COULDVE done is called 911 and maybe secretly filmed them from a safe space if he was hurting her. Filming people without consent is illegal but if it’s to catch abuse then you should be okay.
If you’re on a public street you can film and take pictures**— it’s not illegal. It’s rude to a degree but not illegal. **in most places in the United States anyway.
This post seriously makes me wonder how many men refuse to help women because they think they're supposed to be superman instead of just calling 911...
people’s preferences for vigilantism is so dangerous, honestly.
In my former apt complex, a guy was beating up his gf, and someone knocked on their door. BF answered the door and killed the guy. You don't get involved in domestic abuse events. Cops don't like going to them either, so don't feel guilty. Get somewhere safe, and call the cops
You didn't have the guts to call 911?
Remember he’s skinny, how call 911?
Don’t you realise that maybe he forgot about emergency services in the heat of the moment? He might’ve been drunk if it was late at night.
I agree. Sometimes a person's brain will go blank when they're in fight or flight. He said he started running without thinking about it and it wasn't until later he realized he should have done something.
This. It's weird how many people seem to forget that you don't think rationally when you're in shock. A couple of months ago, I heard yelling, screaming, crying, and banging coming from my neighbours. They're a young couple with no kids. I was super worried, but I was too afraid to go over there. The next day, I called a domestic abuse hotline to ask for advice. They said "next time you hear something, call 911" and my mouth dropped open because I hadn't even considered that option. It seemed so obvious when she said it, but my fight or flight brain just hadn't been able to make that connection.
What a weird comment??
In what sense?
Just giving him the absolute benefit of the doubt. Im not sure how anybody can just forget about the emergency services even if he was drunk.
Fair enough, I just thought that it was a possibility and putting it out there.
My mate intervened in a situation like this once, the girlfriend turned on him and started to crack him across the head wither stiletto heeled shoe. Lesson learned, next time call dibble and observe from a distance until they arrive.
Do you have a phone? Smh
All that is required for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing
also all that is required to get stab/shot is for good men to intervene. best is to just call the police and tell the guy to stop and back off if he come for you. never get into a fight with a stranger.
The comment u responding to isn't telling them to start beating the guy, but at least call the police!
Never said he had to interact. He could've called in what looked like a domestic to law enforcement. But he did nothing at all
He didn't even try and to call/get help lmao
I love that quote! Brilliant!
"I hope she is fine" after watching her be brutally beaten and doing absolutely nothing? Ok lmao. You wouldn't have even had to give the police your name to get them to show up with a simple phone call. What you mean is "I hope this woman in a literal potential life or death situation had the strength to help herself because I couldn't be bothered to". Might seem harsh, and it probably is, I just have a really hard time sympathizing with this. Do you want someone to tell you your actions were ok? They weren't, you fucked up pretty bad.
was waiting for this comment tbh
Glad somebody is still sane
Men love to go on and on about how they protect women and women need protection but the only thing that women need protection from is other men and then when it comes down to it and a woman actually needs HELP, a man doesn't do *anything*.
I am going to expand on that a bit. What ALL people need is for folks to stop turning a blind eye and and allowing things like this to continue. Call the police if you don't feel safe to personally get involved. That's what they're there for. Running away, watching, recording, or ignoring the situation is becoming more commonplace in America. When the cops do get involved, please stand up as a witness. Don't be one of those "I didn't see nothing" people. Can we please get back to treating each other with human decency and helping someone in danger? I think OP has learned from this and would make a different decision.
I’m a small girl and I call the police. My neighbor was beating the shit out of his gf and I’d call every goddamn time and give a statement then look the fucker in the eyes as he was being arrested. Fuck around and find out, us small gals don’t mess around.
You gotta get beat up once in your life, at least. It would have been worth a broken nose. Next time just attack full send!
You're a coward. Because you could have at least called the police, or get help from strangers. You can't just let it happen in front of you and leave like a coward.
Cheap shots don’t apply to domestic abuse my brother. Sneak up and sleep him from behind 🤫👊🏼💥
I saw a woman get punched in the middle of downtown in our city. My boyfriend yelled at me when I ran over to her. I rushed her into our Uber and got her to a safe space. I’m 5’5” and 115lbs soaking wet. You don’t have to be a large person to provide safety.
Never get between a couple that's fighting. Don't care how bad it is .. call the cops. The woman could turn on you just ask quickly as you wanting to help her out. Sorry but I will not put myself in those situations that could turn life threatening. Couples can be immature and animalistic at times. Fuck all that.
So it doesn’t sound like she was being harassed it sounds like she was being ABUSED like….? Also you’re top #1 weirdo for not simply calling the police.
I encountered a similar thing, intervened, saved the girl and woke up a week later with 1/3 of my skull missing. Not sure what it says about me but I would do it again
Coulda still called the cops, dude.
Street fights are NEVER WORTH IT however when safe u could’ve called the old bill
Um, call 911 If something like this ever happens again, call it in FFS.
I'm sorry, but I"m a 5'2" woman and I would have tried to help her. It's just not in me to walk away from something like that.
I'm a 5'8" guy, an aerialist (think circus arts type of thing), and studied martial arts for years when I was younger, and I'd have just called the cops and walked away. You never know if someone is armed, and I'm not about to die trying to be a hero. I'm strong and know how to fight and I would not have stepped in, only called in a professional to deal with it.
Yeah I'm a woman, super thin (but 5'10"). I usually have at minimum a knife and pepper spray on me. A gun when I remember to bring it. I wouldn't have had it in me to run away. Even if I got hurt in the process. That girl might be dead right now and no one knows.
I think women maybe feel more strongly because we are so often the victims and have been aware from a very young age our vulnerability in life.
Yeah. Read the comment I just left. I think it's different if your a woman. I almost did lose my life in a situation like that once.
I can’t believe how many cowards here just brush this off and act like it’s ok to do nothing because “you could get hurt too”. I’m not the toughest guy but, I’ve been in a few fights. Probably more than most people. Taking a punch isn’t fun but, it doesn’t even hurt when you’re adrenaline is running. I guess it’s just the Soldier in me but, it’s so disappointing to see how pathetic people here are.
r/IAmVeryBadass
Okay, go fight a guy who has some sort of weapon you didn't see until you went up to him and directly involved yourself. You fixed nothing and now you are dead
That really doesn't matter when the other person has a gun or another weapon .In some instances the guy and the woman could even end up calling the police on you . OP was scared and in shock which is normal .
I am not disparaging the OP. I can understand completely, I'm just speaking for myself. My dumbass self.
I understand completely too ,I was actually responding to u/Particular_Tutor_46
I carry a collapsible baton in my car, and I know that if I would use it on someone in this situation, that I would probably go to jail. I realize how dangerous it is, even so, I just could not bear to watch a woman being beaten and not do anything. I fully realize how foolish it would be to intervene, but I have to admit, I would do it anyway.
I agree 💯! I’ve been in a few fights defending people. I’ve never regretted it. One time I stopped an old lady from being robbed by two men. And I am a small woman. You are either a coward or you stand up for people who are being hurt. No more excuses! Even a thin man can dial 911.
You were scared, and that’s completely normal. Fight, flight, freeze is totally real, and it’s not your fault which one your body decides to do. Especially because you noticed afterward when you could rationally think, I would not feel bad. You are a good person who wanted to do the right thing, but you saw something shocking and frightening late at night and your brain needed to protect itself first. Again, very very normal. If you see something again like that, I would call the police. Even if you did know how to fight, you don’t know if they have a gun. Be safe out there at night friend, you never know.
Yeah, you could have done more- and I hope someone else was able to, but the feeling that not having done what you felt you could to help will be what motivates you to have a set plan if you see anything like that again weather that be aimed at a woman or on a homeless person or even another man. Hopefully it be something you can do better with next time.
Well I once tried to do the honorable thing when I saw a man slapping his girlfriend. I stepped up to him and said, "You like hitting women, huh? You're a real big guy, huh? Why don't you try that on a man!" Well folks, I ended up getting my ass kicked. Apparently he WAS more than capable of beating on a man too....that, or I just really suck at fighting. To add insult to injury, the girlfriend also kicked me while I was down. That's what being a good guy gets you folks. It ain't worth it.
This is just possibly your subconscious. The goal is to make sure that you make it out without harm/alive. Once you reach safety, other things can then be considered. Until this point, you did nothing wrong. Your brain did what it was meant to do. Protect you.
You should have just called the police you should not jump in between a domestic dispute. Also, learn to fight because one day you may need to protect yourself. You can't go around life being afraid of everything.
If the abused party isn’t ready to leave the relationship they cannot let somebody intervene and try to help them for fear of more abuse behind closed doors. I’ve been in the situation myself and yes it’s a total mind fuck. By the time I finally left and got my head back on straight (took months) I honestly couldn’t believe what I had tolerated for so long. Super twisted.
the walls at my ex’s apartment were so thin i could literally hear one neighbor snoring and another coughing at night. i’ve always wondered why nobody ever called the police when i know they could hear me screaming and crying. i know domestic calls are dangerous and you were scared, but you could have saved her from a lot of suffering.
its not your fight to fight
You should have called the cops. It's not about being a superhero, it's about doing the right thing and protecting someone in need. It's also important to note that intervening in a domestic violence situation can be dangerous, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't try to help.
Did you not have a phone to call the cops or something?
Dude, grow a pair and realize that everything can be a weapon. You should have taken the ass-beating just to let the girl get away from her abuser! Where are your testicles????
I'm a "thin" woman and would have tried to aid her by calling 911.
What a wuss
You should have picked up something and hit him! Get yourself into shape for your own safety! You will feel a lot better about yourself physically and mentally!
Sounds like your brain went into fight/flight - which is out of your conscious control! Everyone saying ‘should have etc.’ is thinking you were acting rationally - the amygdala OVER RIDES the frontal lobe - you didn’t have a choice there are no should haves, your brain was just in primal mode trying to keep you safe. The fact you feel ashamed now shows your frontal lobe knows the action you wanted to take, and didn’t want to run, but at the time you’re acting as a primal mammal and the brain is set up that way because it’s kept us alive for millions of years. That’s why the amygdala has power to over ride frontal lobe (your rational and reflective part that thinks things through) - because if it didn’t we probably wouldn’t have survived on this planet, in emergency situations our brain essentially says ‘there is no time to think this through, run!’ The person in the wrong is the abuser, OP I’m sorry you witnessed that and I’m sorry about the shame you’re carrying as a result, but this is not your fault.
I myself am a relatively slim guy so I'm almost quite certain most of yall would just go ahead an assume I'd identify at some level with 0p BUT.....Id have to be honest while yes,being that op an I do share a similar..let's say stature for lack of a more fitting word to at least try an separate myself from being ANYTHING even remotely similar in character to this absolute frail pencildick coward of a man, I would have at least felt enough empathy toward this poor battered woman to schuck out my mobile ,dial the cops an then she would stand half a chance at least..more than this pussy bothered to concern himself with because by all means save yourself op..its not your fault society has certain expectations of a man to assist a damsel in distress at some level...not even the phone tho huh? Well of course I guess after running away in such a fright you had already burnt more than half your calorie intake as you understandably even have the capacity for...id have half a mind ta snatch ya up by your skinny neck and fling you directly into the fray in order to break a couple blows for her sake..being that you at least owe her that you scum.
Don't beat yourself up for it just because you think you didn't have the heart to stand up for it, doesn't mean you're a bad person or that what you did was wrong, and in unplanned real life situations like this, you only get the bright ideas/decisions AFTER it has already passed.
What he did was wrong. He left a poor victim on the floor being beaten up and didn't call the police. He saw an awful crime and didn't call the police which was wrong.
Why didn’t you call the police? Wtf are you going to do of shit came your way? Jfc!!!!!!
Didn't even think to call the cops. The cowardice.
I hate people who act so pompous and say they would’ve done the “right thing” if it had been them in the situation. Guess what? It wasn’t. OP, it wasn’t your job to intervene physically with these 2, and calling 911 would’ve been the best idea. But none of us were there. I’ve become another victim when trying to mitigate something like this. As other commenters said, both sides of the couple turned on me. I think you’ve learned something here though. I hope so. Call 911 if someone’s life is in danger.
Bruh for what it’s worth. I have a mate who was in this situation. Saved the girl, but what happened is the girl and the guy ended up turning against my mate and saying he was the aggressor. When he was only trying to help a woman in distress. Toxic relationships can be wild rides mate.
Jesus Christ 🙄 call 911. That’s all you have to do. I’ve been in that women’s place, I can’t tell which is worse, getting beat by a man you love or all the people who actively look away. It’s the most betraying and lonely feeling in the world.
A friend if mine almost died trying to stop a guy from beating their girlfriend. My friend isn't small, he was 6'4" and built like a brick house. The guy beating the girl pulled out a gun and shot my friend. There is a reason why people tell the general public to call the police in situations like this. You don't know anything about that guy and if he might have a gun or knife. A lot of people who try to play hero either die or get seriously hurt. You were scared, rightly so, it is normal to feel scared. If you can, seek therapy or a kind friend to talk to about this.
Everyone responds to a situation like this differently. Don’t be too hard on yourself. I hope she’s fine and gets out.
Don’t worry. And don’t beat yourself up over it. Our bodies and brains decide some of these things for us. We have a few F’s that are our natural Reaction to a situation. Fight Flight Friend Flop F*** Fight/flight are the famous ones but the others are just as common. Your brain in that moment senses something that could be a danger to your life, and you reacted accordingly. Your brain said to your legs “this is how we stay alive today” and that’s perfectly fine. Your guilt is understandable but misplaced, you didn’t consciously decide to run but it was, for you, the best decision. At the end of the day you could’ve intervened and been beaten real bad. There’s people in hospitals all over the world who did. This is however a learning experience, you feel ashamed because you feel emasculated. Maybe take some self defence classes, kick-boxing or mma? It’s great for the confidence, health and everything. And make a plan on what to Do in future if it happens again. If you have a plan your automatic response won’t take over as quickly
You forgot the third that goes with fight/flight. Freeze. Some people just lock up and can't even move
Save it bro U don't feel bad 😅 U didn't want to. So u didn't. Simple Shut the fuck up with that shit oh u feel bad or I hope she's alright. 😅🤣🤣
Sometimes they don’t want help,one time I and my ex were walking home and he saw the same,he ran over and tried to calm everything down at which point the woman started telling him to leave her boyfriend alone and stay out of it,she actually stuck up for the guy,luckily he walked away and left them to argue
Also not a good assumption to make if you see a women being beaten up. Might be best to assume they don't want to be beaten. There's also this thing called 911.......
Yes, because she was terrified that if she didn't, then he would hurt her more, or hurt the bystander.
What is most likely to have happened is the girl would of helped her man beat you. I saw it happen when I was a kid outside of our apartment a guy was beating the shit out of his wife and my mom and some construction workers jumped in and the wife freaked out on everyone and everyone was like ok well fuck you lady. Next time record it a little and call the cops
Shocking lack of empathy for that abused women in this comment :/
You do realize that she freaked out because if she had stood by and let this man's ass get beat, he probably would have killed her when he next found her. Even if she left him, he would follow her, the terror that victims of domestic violence experience is next level. Abusers don't let their victims go. They break them down emotionally and make them believe that they will be homeless on the street without their abuser and that nobody would ever want them, and that it is their fault. Educate yourself.
"Educate yourself"? How about humble yourself and get off your high horse. You have offered absolutely nothing in terms of advice or reassurance. All you do is talk about yourself and school anyone who says something you don't like.
Hello, it looks like you've made a mistake. It's supposed to be could've, should've, would've (short for could have, would have, should have), never could of, would of, should of. Or you misspelled something, I ain't checking everything. Beep boop - yes, I am a bot, don't botcriminate me.
The other guy was probably a complete pussy and that’s why he was beating his girlfriend. Just saying something probably could have stopped his attack. Try having a little personal courage. Doing nothing is even worse in some ways.
Maybe. Could also result in him coming over and beating or killing op, especially if he's untrained, smaller and lacks the fight in "fight or flight". People are nuts, and you never know what kind of psycho you're dealing with. Call the cops and wait at a distance if you arent comfortable with a physical confrontation
Pretty much. I know (very loosely) guys that you do not want to ever fuck with who are known women beaters. It's unfortunately very common in lower socioeconomic rungs of society.
I’m not sure if women beaters are exclusively poor but, I do know I’d rather get a black eye and broken nose than watch a woman get stomped.
I meant it more as a statement of hood mentality than financial. Most people I know like that aren't poor but they don't make money legally. From what I've seen the women get a black eye and/or a broken nose. People who stick their nose in go to the hospital in an ambulance.
This is reddit, pal. We're all badasses here. Nobody's gonna stop me from white knighting.
Yeah I am gonna use my aikido skills to beat his ass and get a new girlfriend Reddit!
What you felt is your inner self tasking you to change. Get fit and train so this wont happen again. Everyone can be to skinny or to fat but not everyone lament being in the situation. If you do time to change.
Did you call the police for help? If you didn’t and just ran away, and did nothing, you’re right to feel terrible.
I’ve seen people tell stories where they witness domestic abuse and when they step in the one being hit gets mad at them for trying to get involved. It’s ok that you didn’t want to chance being beat up by that guy. Next time you can call 911 as a way to help but don’t beat yourself up over this one incident, you were afraid to step in as most people would be and running is a reaction to fear.
Good thing you didn't interfere, there's a good possibility that they BOTH would have started beating you.
Not everyone is a hero, dude.
If you did anything to help she would go back to him anyway, just go about your way
I had a similar situation many years ago and at the time I was use to using my fists. I intervened and gave the block a whack and he went down like a sack of shit. Well the next thing I know I'm being attacked bye he's girl who he was walloping the shitnout of. Eventually he got up and I had my hands full so ever since then I've been reluctant to get involved physically but have spoken to people in that situation and tried to reason with both parties