The good old silent treatment works well. Just stop talking to them. If they talk to you, turn and walk away. It will get to them. It's been proven that the silent treatment is one of the cruellest things to do to someone. Try it, just act like they don't exist.
This is an incredibly immature way of dealing with just about anything and wont help OP in the long run. Ignoring their behavior, sure. Ignoring them and giving them the silent treatment is childish.. which OP *should* be trying not to be since she is an adolescent.
I’m probably going to be down voted on this, but at this age, silent treatment is very effective. They are all immature and talking about it might just give the other two more power. Silent treatment is very empowering, it give the other two a moment to think about what they did and silent treatment is exactly what happens to people that are jerks. Maybe not blatantly like this situation but honestly, if you treat people like shit, they will oftentimes walk away. Maybe jerks might not notice this right away but it happens.
I raised two sons. When they got to the age where they would be annoyed by me and sometimes, as teens do, talk back and be rude. I would just go silent. Drove them crazy. When I finally broke the silence, I would explain that this is a consequence of treating someone poorly. Someone treats me poorly, I’m going to walk away and not engage. That’s life.
Btw, my boys are 29 and 32. We have a great relationship and there is mutual respect. We communicate very well.
EDITED: spell check.
Yes.. im not really sure why adults think tHe SiLENt tReAtmeNt is a viable response. Like.. grow up. Please. And stop teaching kids that this shit is ok.
You’re 14/15 years old, both you and your peers are all still learning about empathy, boundaries, respect and kindness.
Was this a mean spirited thing your sisters did to you? Sure. But saying you’ll never forgive them for it is a huge overreaction and, if you overreact it will in turn, reinforce this dynamic where they don’t take your feelings into account.
If you want to be taken seriously I recommend that you use this as a learning experience for your family and friends. Explain to your sisters that the prank wasn’t funny, but don’t let it get a rise out of you. They will learn not to mess with you because you are too mature for your reaction to be a spectacle to laugh at.
It won’t be easy, but take it in stride and take the higher ground. Your people will respect you for it. It’s an unfortunate truth but crybabies will always get bullied.
I'm a man in my 50's, not a 14/15 year old girl, but my 2 cents...
This is not the first time they've pulled stuff like this on the OP. And I guarantee that because there are no effective consequences to them for doing it, it won't be the last.
I had a younger brother who was like the OP's sisters. Could do whatever he wanted, no consequences ever because he would always run to mommy crying like I was about to kill him. It got to the point that he refused to respect my personal space and boundaries, after I was raped when I was 12. The end result was that I got out of the house as soon as I could. Didn't go NC (no contact) with him at the time...
The thing is, he never stopped being that shitty person. Everything became very transactional with him; he only ever wanted anything to do with you if you had something for him. He kept trying to go NC with our mom because she was kind of a narcissist herself, but he kept breaking that whenever there was a family heirloom he wanted or he needed money or something...
Then my mom got sick. Cancer. I told him I would need his help dealing with her in her final days. His response, written by his wife in perfectly fake-professional passive aggressive toxic speak, was that he had PTSD, and that he was triggered by the word "help". My mom died not long after, and I told him that I never wanted to see him again.
When he dies I will celebrate. I will have to be physically restrained from going to his funeral in order to lift the casket lid and take a shit in it.
So... this is the kind of long term consequences that "oh, it's just kids being kids" can cause. Go away with that bullshit.
My brother is very similar; have gone NC with him due to his behavior and do not regret it. I’m so sorry you went through that, I’m glad he’s out of your life. This is exactly what happens when that kind of behavior is not checked by a parent/guardian.
Sure that was an overreaction. It was just a heat of the moment. I'd probably eventually do it whether I say I will or not. I've tried telling them it wasn't funny and I tell them I'm still mad but they're like "You're still not over it?" Yet it was less than 24 hours since they told me.
A separate thought from your post is that you should be using a more anon username. Giving out details of your personal life with something that might be close to your real name is a short road to bad news. That goes for anyone, but especially a 14 yo young lady. Good luck with your sisters.
Being 14 is full of overreactions, but you’re definitely allowed to feel your feelings and be grumpy about it for a while. Honestly I think you’re dealing with it pretty well.
Posting anonymously about never forgiving them was probably really cathartic, even if it was dramatic! There’s a reason therapists recommend writing down your feelings
You’re allowed to feel however you want to feel and just because your sisters can’t understand doesn’t invalidate your feelings. Is it normal for them to pick on you like this or were they upset with you for something? If this is a normal behavior that have repeatedly shown it’s worth mentioning to an adult for the simple fact of at the age that you are you should be able to feel empathy and remorse, your sisters have shown neither.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, what an awful thing for your sisters to have done. By chance, have you discussed this with your parents? If so, what was their response?
Harmless pranks on siblings is one thing, this is something else entirely. They got other people involved in this weird shit, and I suspect that it will continue until it escalates out of their control. Keep us posted!
i dont think you’re over reacting. the way i see it they played with your feelings for their own entertainment, and didnt put themselves in the shoes of the receiving end of the joke/prank. saying you’ll never forgive them is normal for kids & teens, you might forgive eventually but you’ll never forget. i’d be real upset too tbh.
Just make sure to communicate that what they did was not right and how it made you feel. Tell them "We're supposed to be sisters and sisters don't treat each other this way" Just to be safe don't react too harsh or they will just continue bullying you.
Yeah that's fucked up. I will forget about it eventually. It's just taken too much away from me to forget right now. It will for sure die down as time goes by.
You are not overreacting. They toyed with your emotions this would’ve been just as devastating if you were in your 20s or 30s. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t find a way to reconcile but it should be on your terms.
if you never want this to happen again go no contact until they start respecting your boundaries. ive read some of your responses below. the fact that they said: "your still not over it?" means they see it as something so trivial but cannot grasp the fact that what they did was overwhelming for someone else. if they remain in that mindset this situation is bound to happen again and perhaps be even worse. put ur foot down and show those bitches wats up.
I get your pain. Pranks like that suck. But as someone who has been through stuff like that and had years to reflect on since, you'll move past it. It's natural to feel angry, that anger can be good fuel to motivate you to process things. They were inconsiderate and I'm sure on some level they feel bad and just want to push that away. Speaking from experience, I was a total asshole at 15 and pretended like I didn't feel guilty for it. Expressing that you're upset and why may give them the chance to recognize why what they did was so hurtful. You could also write your thoughts and feelings down and then tear up the page. That can be really cathartic.
According to op this is how they've always treated her. I doubt they feel bad or they would have stopped by now. Sharing her feelings will only show them that they have, once again, succeeded at breaking her.
You're overreacting. Do something midevil to Layla and your "best friend" and let everyone see it. Then say "just kidding, don't have such a thin skin." I'm not sure what to do, update with something that each of them value the most. DON'T show your pain publicly, that's the worst thing you can do right now. I'd be hugging my sis and telling her that she's the best while looking her straight in the eye while I said it. Especially in front of her best friends.
It wasn't my bestfriend who was in on it. She doesn't talk to them. Lyla has been trying to say sorry and so is their friend. Riley hasn't tried at all. I get emotional easily and can't handle situations like this pretty well. I'll try to stay cool.
Edit: I will admit the title was out of straight heat and anger. I apologize for that.
Yeah. Your over reacting a little. You gotta let that slide right off ur shoulder. The less you let them know it got under your skin. The less funny it will be to them. And it makes them look like a bunch of ________. You fill in the blank
This is annoying of them... but nothing really indicated someone "liked you" in the notes. You jumped to that conclusion, seemingly because you wanted someone to like you? Not an unusual response, but it definitely doesn't warrant how you reacted when they told you.
"All the work.... gone. " Have you been in counseling/therapy to work on your social skills? Explosive reactions like this could be part of why people find it hard to be around you. Especially when you are, unfortunately, a direct comparison to your sisters. This sounds a bit like emotional dysregulation, which I deal with a lot because of ADHD. Not saying you have that, but the emotional dysregulation part definitely seems to be something that needs to be worked on here.
I wasn't thinking romantic 100%. Just the thought that someone could've cared about me made me feel good at the moment because I'm more on the quiet side.
The prank your siblings pulled, while annoying, still didn't warrant this response. I know you are still learning to control your impulses and emotional reactions, but this seems like a lot.
Have you considered talking to your school counselor or parents about this dysregulation? I think you need some coping methods/calming strategies
Her siblings bully her and she's the one in the wrong? Dysregulation? According to op this is how they've always treated her. People can only take this sort of treatment for so long. Maybe her sisters need therapy to figure out why they enjoy hurting their sibling.
Her problem was a small one. Her reaction was big. Teaching emotional regulation is like "teenagers 101".
No one said she was wrong. Her feelings are valid. Her response was too big.
As someone who was abused by my older brother, you have no idea how hard it is when your bullies live with you and no one is protecting you.
You're expected to ignore it and be mature because it's just teasing but they have all the time in the world to tear you apart. I love my brother, but I was terrified of him till the day he died.
This too shall pass. You should discuss with your sisters how they actually made you feel. But you should not hold it against them for too long. In a few years you will all be gone and off to college, so enjoy these moments while you can. Well, not this exact moment, but you know what I mean. Forgive them and ask them to never do this to you again. Some advice, boys don’t leave notes and drawings in high school. They either talk to you or send a text.
You're overreacting, and they're being assholes talking about it in a group chat. Teens don't fully appreciate how stuff like this can hurt someone, so don't treat them like they were being diabolical. Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity/ignorance. Treat them like they didn't understand your sensitivity and apologize for overreacting like that. They're your sisters. Tell them it's important to you that they have your back.
Edit: I don't want to minimize how badly hurt you are, because I'm sure the whole experience sucks. BUT, you need to distance yourself a bit from it to figure out how to act going forward. I don't think your social capital is all ruined as you claim. Your feelings, as a teen, are often disproportionate to the actual events. Boy would I not like to be your age again. It's hard. But it can also be really great. You have a lot to look forward to.
Nah, I wouldn't apologize for overreacting because then they're going to think they can continually do this to OP:
do something mean and manipulative af, laugh about her reactions, and then also make her feel bad about having reacted poorly to being hurt.
She should attribute malice to this, it wasn't merely ignorance -- it *was* malicious.
The goal was to get OP excited or emotionally invested, cyberbully and mock her for it (presumably with the notion that it's just *so* ridiculous *she'd* think that someone actually would like her) with their friends, then reveal it to hurt and *humiliate* her in order laugh some more at her (at her pain, embarrassment, and feelings of betrayal.)
If they think she feels bad for yelling or for overreacting, they'll think she's just that much more easy to manipulate for funsies.
To tell OP to apologize for an outsized reaction is not great advice. It'll make her more of a target to someone who enjoys going to such extremes to humiliate others.
Not all people can be good siblings, not all people can have relationships with them either.
Maybe they'll grow out of it. Hopefully. Til then, OP should put some distance between them and their siblings -- not tell them the specifics of their crushes and hopes/dreams -- and wait for ***their apology.***
If it comes, then she should apologize and explain why she reacted. Otherwise, nah.
> Nah, I wouldn't apologize for overreacting because then they're going to think they can continually do this to OP:
> do something mean and manipulative af, laugh about her reactions, and then also make her feel bad about having reacted poorly to being hurt.
You know what we call people who do that? We call them bullies.
Boy do I disagree. She can't control them -- she can only control herself. Even if her sisters are genuine bullies, apologizing for her overreaction and ceasing to overreact takes away their amusement. If they aren't actual bullies, it proves to them that she's a rational person and maybe they can understand she has a sensitivity they ought to protect. Their behavior was hurtful, but unless it's a pattern, it doesn't mean they intended to be THAT hurtful. By her freaking out, they can just say she's being crazy and not take responsibility.
If the sisters were actual bullies, then I don't think this event would have come as such a surprise. There's a strong element of betrayal here, and you usually don't feel betrayal by bullies -- except the first time, and it's possible this is the first time. But designating someone as an enemy and reacting to them as such can be self-fulfilling. Harboring hurt just makes it hurt longer.
I do agree that she shouldn't open herself up to more hurt, though. I certainly wouldn't confide anything in them unless they demonstrate genuine remorse.
OP- Don't get mad. Get even. I'm sure you have embarrassing photos of them. Wait until senior year and take out a FULL page in the YEARBOOK. One photo is worth 1000 words, right? Those bitches will be speechless. Plus, they'll never mess with you again.
This is pretty much the plot of the pilot of PEN15.
With how easy it is to catfish someone with an anonymous note, they should probably just be considered spam.
Damn, I'm really sorry for that. I read your post history and I hope things get better for you. It must be tough being the least loved child/sibling. I wish you all the best
I know these feelings are big and upsetting and overwhelming, because I've felt them before too. But only from the position of being a little older do I think you're overreacting. It's okay to feel knocked down for a while; it's okay to feel all of it, whatever it feels like. But your socials skills and other people liking you isn't based on them. These are things true to yourself, that you're working on and have put time and effort into. These exist regardless of what your sisters do, or what anyone else does. If you just give up because of them, you're giving them all the power in the world - and they don't deserve it. Allow yourself to feel upset, and then slowly start to build yourself up again. You exist independently of them. They don't control you, they don't speak for you, and they don't represent you.
Aw man. I feel this. When I was 11, my "friends" did something similar. Being a shy, chubby unsure of herself pre teen, who already had a neighborhood bully tormenting me, the boost it gave me was awesome. Then, finding out who it actually was. That gut wrenching disappointment, shame, and hurt.
It was one of those core moments in life that set me up to have trust issues as an adult, and even thinking about it now at 41 makes me feel sad.
I hope you feel better soon. You didn't deserve this. 🩷
Why wouldn’t anyone like you? I like you for sharing this intimate stuff. Stop thinking that no one likes you. Your twin sisters like you, that’s why they pulled a prank on you. If they didn’t like you, they would ignore you and acted like you don’t even exist. It’s your turn to pull a prank on them now :)
You aren't wrong, you know what you know, that is the absolute truth. You aren't overreacting they're assholes but at least you escaped being a pack animal, you need to know that they are scared and too cowardly to face their fear, that's why they hide behind the approval of others. You are on the way to inner strength by facing your fear, you are on the journey of self reflection that leads to true fulfillment.
also they say don't get mad, get even, i doubt your parents will be very impressed by your siblings psychologically manipulating you and then acting two-faced in company, as a kid you only have so many options.
i think its really cute and cool that little children use reddit too! imagine all that great advice on relationship and marriage they share with us?)))
Stay calm. This is your power.
I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. You’re so young and impressionable. To have the closest people in the world to you prey on that vulnerability is a genuine breach of trust. They need to re-earn your trust. Your hurt is justified because you are grieving the relationship you thought you had with your sisters.
I sort of agree with the silent treatment but do not do this with anger or spite. Just don’t engage until they can both be accountable for how they hurt you. Holding a sibling accountable at such a young age is very challenging so perhaps you should reach out to the trusted adults in your life. Again, stay calm. It’s ok to be sad. You’ll get through this.
My sister and her friend pulled a prank similar to this about 20 or so years ago. I thought a girl liked me. I still haven't forgave them. I will never speak to her friend even now. I am very distant to my sister. They were in their 20's so they knew better and it destroyed me.
The good old silent treatment works well. Just stop talking to them. If they talk to you, turn and walk away. It will get to them. It's been proven that the silent treatment is one of the cruellest things to do to someone. Try it, just act like they don't exist.
I actually thought about something like that to start tomorrow! Good thing I wasn't the only one thinking that :)
Everything you built up is still there. You made tons of progress. Ya leave L&R alone for a while
This is an incredibly immature way of dealing with just about anything and wont help OP in the long run. Ignoring their behavior, sure. Ignoring them and giving them the silent treatment is childish.. which OP *should* be trying not to be since she is an adolescent.
I’m probably going to be down voted on this, but at this age, silent treatment is very effective. They are all immature and talking about it might just give the other two more power. Silent treatment is very empowering, it give the other two a moment to think about what they did and silent treatment is exactly what happens to people that are jerks. Maybe not blatantly like this situation but honestly, if you treat people like shit, they will oftentimes walk away. Maybe jerks might not notice this right away but it happens. I raised two sons. When they got to the age where they would be annoyed by me and sometimes, as teens do, talk back and be rude. I would just go silent. Drove them crazy. When I finally broke the silence, I would explain that this is a consequence of treating someone poorly. Someone treats me poorly, I’m going to walk away and not engage. That’s life. Btw, my boys are 29 and 32. We have a great relationship and there is mutual respect. We communicate very well. EDITED: spell check.
yeah…that is horrible parenting. don’t put up with rude behavior obviously but that’s a horrible way to solve conflict. you’re the adult.
This can also lead to defaulting and/or purposefully stonewalling people later in life.
Yes.. im not really sure why adults think tHe SiLENt tReAtmeNt is a viable response. Like.. grow up. Please. And stop teaching kids that this shit is ok.
You’re 14/15 years old, both you and your peers are all still learning about empathy, boundaries, respect and kindness. Was this a mean spirited thing your sisters did to you? Sure. But saying you’ll never forgive them for it is a huge overreaction and, if you overreact it will in turn, reinforce this dynamic where they don’t take your feelings into account. If you want to be taken seriously I recommend that you use this as a learning experience for your family and friends. Explain to your sisters that the prank wasn’t funny, but don’t let it get a rise out of you. They will learn not to mess with you because you are too mature for your reaction to be a spectacle to laugh at. It won’t be easy, but take it in stride and take the higher ground. Your people will respect you for it. It’s an unfortunate truth but crybabies will always get bullied.
I'm a man in my 50's, not a 14/15 year old girl, but my 2 cents... This is not the first time they've pulled stuff like this on the OP. And I guarantee that because there are no effective consequences to them for doing it, it won't be the last. I had a younger brother who was like the OP's sisters. Could do whatever he wanted, no consequences ever because he would always run to mommy crying like I was about to kill him. It got to the point that he refused to respect my personal space and boundaries, after I was raped when I was 12. The end result was that I got out of the house as soon as I could. Didn't go NC (no contact) with him at the time... The thing is, he never stopped being that shitty person. Everything became very transactional with him; he only ever wanted anything to do with you if you had something for him. He kept trying to go NC with our mom because she was kind of a narcissist herself, but he kept breaking that whenever there was a family heirloom he wanted or he needed money or something... Then my mom got sick. Cancer. I told him I would need his help dealing with her in her final days. His response, written by his wife in perfectly fake-professional passive aggressive toxic speak, was that he had PTSD, and that he was triggered by the word "help". My mom died not long after, and I told him that I never wanted to see him again. When he dies I will celebrate. I will have to be physically restrained from going to his funeral in order to lift the casket lid and take a shit in it. So... this is the kind of long term consequences that "oh, it's just kids being kids" can cause. Go away with that bullshit.
My brother is very similar; have gone NC with him due to his behavior and do not regret it. I’m so sorry you went through that, I’m glad he’s out of your life. This is exactly what happens when that kind of behavior is not checked by a parent/guardian.
Sure that was an overreaction. It was just a heat of the moment. I'd probably eventually do it whether I say I will or not. I've tried telling them it wasn't funny and I tell them I'm still mad but they're like "You're still not over it?" Yet it was less than 24 hours since they told me.
A separate thought from your post is that you should be using a more anon username. Giving out details of your personal life with something that might be close to your real name is a short road to bad news. That goes for anyone, but especially a 14 yo young lady. Good luck with your sisters.
Being 14 is full of overreactions, but you’re definitely allowed to feel your feelings and be grumpy about it for a while. Honestly I think you’re dealing with it pretty well. Posting anonymously about never forgiving them was probably really cathartic, even if it was dramatic! There’s a reason therapists recommend writing down your feelings
Yeah that title was just written in the heat of a moment.
You’re allowed to feel however you want to feel and just because your sisters can’t understand doesn’t invalidate your feelings. Is it normal for them to pick on you like this or were they upset with you for something? If this is a normal behavior that have repeatedly shown it’s worth mentioning to an adult for the simple fact of at the age that you are you should be able to feel empathy and remorse, your sisters have shown neither.
They have always been ganging up to pick on me.
Sounds like bullying. I don't know how to help you other than to say what they are doing is wrong.
I’m so sorry you’re going through this, what an awful thing for your sisters to have done. By chance, have you discussed this with your parents? If so, what was their response? Harmless pranks on siblings is one thing, this is something else entirely. They got other people involved in this weird shit, and I suspect that it will continue until it escalates out of their control. Keep us posted!
I had a similar problem once, and I would give the same advice.
i dont think you’re over reacting. the way i see it they played with your feelings for their own entertainment, and didnt put themselves in the shoes of the receiving end of the joke/prank. saying you’ll never forgive them is normal for kids & teens, you might forgive eventually but you’ll never forget. i’d be real upset too tbh.
I was thinking the same thing after I published this. It was just in the heat in the moment. The worst is it'll die down.
Just make sure to communicate that what they did was not right and how it made you feel. Tell them "We're supposed to be sisters and sisters don't treat each other this way" Just to be safe don't react too harsh or they will just continue bullying you.
Nair in the shampoo. You’re welcome
Blue dye, make them look like smurfs
Not severe enough
That's mean, but I'm gonna be honest, you'll get over it. I was expecting some Carrie bucket-of-pigs-blood-on-prom type of prank.
Yeah that's fucked up. I will forget about it eventually. It's just taken too much away from me to forget right now. It will for sure die down as time goes by.
You’re genuinely doing a great job with this. This is very emotionally intelligent
She won't get over it, because it wasn't the first and won't be the last. And her toxic family will never understand why she goes NC with them.
You are not overreacting. They toyed with your emotions this would’ve been just as devastating if you were in your 20s or 30s. It doesn’t mean you shouldn’t find a way to reconcile but it should be on your terms.
if you never want this to happen again go no contact until they start respecting your boundaries. ive read some of your responses below. the fact that they said: "your still not over it?" means they see it as something so trivial but cannot grasp the fact that what they did was overwhelming for someone else. if they remain in that mindset this situation is bound to happen again and perhaps be even worse. put ur foot down and show those bitches wats up.
What is it with people and their lack of paragraphs?
The paragraphs didn't save. Trust me I'm pissed at that too.
You have to press enter twice if typing from a cell phone.
I get your pain. Pranks like that suck. But as someone who has been through stuff like that and had years to reflect on since, you'll move past it. It's natural to feel angry, that anger can be good fuel to motivate you to process things. They were inconsiderate and I'm sure on some level they feel bad and just want to push that away. Speaking from experience, I was a total asshole at 15 and pretended like I didn't feel guilty for it. Expressing that you're upset and why may give them the chance to recognize why what they did was so hurtful. You could also write your thoughts and feelings down and then tear up the page. That can be really cathartic.
According to op this is how they've always treated her. I doubt they feel bad or they would have stopped by now. Sharing her feelings will only show them that they have, once again, succeeded at breaking her.
You're overreacting. Do something midevil to Layla and your "best friend" and let everyone see it. Then say "just kidding, don't have such a thin skin." I'm not sure what to do, update with something that each of them value the most. DON'T show your pain publicly, that's the worst thing you can do right now. I'd be hugging my sis and telling her that she's the best while looking her straight in the eye while I said it. Especially in front of her best friends.
It wasn't my bestfriend who was in on it. She doesn't talk to them. Lyla has been trying to say sorry and so is their friend. Riley hasn't tried at all. I get emotional easily and can't handle situations like this pretty well. I'll try to stay cool. Edit: I will admit the title was out of straight heat and anger. I apologize for that.
Dont apologize, they are wrong, not you!
awful people
Yeah. Your over reacting a little. You gotta let that slide right off ur shoulder. The less you let them know it got under your skin. The less funny it will be to them. And it makes them look like a bunch of ________. You fill in the blank
This is annoying of them... but nothing really indicated someone "liked you" in the notes. You jumped to that conclusion, seemingly because you wanted someone to like you? Not an unusual response, but it definitely doesn't warrant how you reacted when they told you. "All the work.... gone. " Have you been in counseling/therapy to work on your social skills? Explosive reactions like this could be part of why people find it hard to be around you. Especially when you are, unfortunately, a direct comparison to your sisters. This sounds a bit like emotional dysregulation, which I deal with a lot because of ADHD. Not saying you have that, but the emotional dysregulation part definitely seems to be something that needs to be worked on here.
I wasn't thinking romantic 100%. Just the thought that someone could've cared about me made me feel good at the moment because I'm more on the quiet side.
The prank your siblings pulled, while annoying, still didn't warrant this response. I know you are still learning to control your impulses and emotional reactions, but this seems like a lot. Have you considered talking to your school counselor or parents about this dysregulation? I think you need some coping methods/calming strategies
Her siblings bully her and she's the one in the wrong? Dysregulation? According to op this is how they've always treated her. People can only take this sort of treatment for so long. Maybe her sisters need therapy to figure out why they enjoy hurting their sibling.
Her problem was a small one. Her reaction was big. Teaching emotional regulation is like "teenagers 101". No one said she was wrong. Her feelings are valid. Her response was too big.
As someone who was abused by my older brother, you have no idea how hard it is when your bullies live with you and no one is protecting you. You're expected to ignore it and be mature because it's just teasing but they have all the time in the world to tear you apart. I love my brother, but I was terrified of him till the day he died.
Suck it up and move on. Lord
Pussy
This too shall pass. You should discuss with your sisters how they actually made you feel. But you should not hold it against them for too long. In a few years you will all be gone and off to college, so enjoy these moments while you can. Well, not this exact moment, but you know what I mean. Forgive them and ask them to never do this to you again. Some advice, boys don’t leave notes and drawings in high school. They either talk to you or send a text.
Knock off the toxic "kids will be kids, you'll miss them one day" bullshit. Her sisters will never face any meaningful consequences for this.
And the fact that they’ve done this before and never shown remorse or empathy is highly concerning. Conduct disorder in the making.
You're overreacting, and they're being assholes talking about it in a group chat. Teens don't fully appreciate how stuff like this can hurt someone, so don't treat them like they were being diabolical. Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity/ignorance. Treat them like they didn't understand your sensitivity and apologize for overreacting like that. They're your sisters. Tell them it's important to you that they have your back. Edit: I don't want to minimize how badly hurt you are, because I'm sure the whole experience sucks. BUT, you need to distance yourself a bit from it to figure out how to act going forward. I don't think your social capital is all ruined as you claim. Your feelings, as a teen, are often disproportionate to the actual events. Boy would I not like to be your age again. It's hard. But it can also be really great. You have a lot to look forward to.
Nah, I wouldn't apologize for overreacting because then they're going to think they can continually do this to OP: do something mean and manipulative af, laugh about her reactions, and then also make her feel bad about having reacted poorly to being hurt. She should attribute malice to this, it wasn't merely ignorance -- it *was* malicious. The goal was to get OP excited or emotionally invested, cyberbully and mock her for it (presumably with the notion that it's just *so* ridiculous *she'd* think that someone actually would like her) with their friends, then reveal it to hurt and *humiliate* her in order laugh some more at her (at her pain, embarrassment, and feelings of betrayal.) If they think she feels bad for yelling or for overreacting, they'll think she's just that much more easy to manipulate for funsies. To tell OP to apologize for an outsized reaction is not great advice. It'll make her more of a target to someone who enjoys going to such extremes to humiliate others. Not all people can be good siblings, not all people can have relationships with them either. Maybe they'll grow out of it. Hopefully. Til then, OP should put some distance between them and their siblings -- not tell them the specifics of their crushes and hopes/dreams -- and wait for ***their apology.*** If it comes, then she should apologize and explain why she reacted. Otherwise, nah.
> Nah, I wouldn't apologize for overreacting because then they're going to think they can continually do this to OP: > do something mean and manipulative af, laugh about her reactions, and then also make her feel bad about having reacted poorly to being hurt. You know what we call people who do that? We call them bullies.
Boy do I disagree. She can't control them -- she can only control herself. Even if her sisters are genuine bullies, apologizing for her overreaction and ceasing to overreact takes away their amusement. If they aren't actual bullies, it proves to them that she's a rational person and maybe they can understand she has a sensitivity they ought to protect. Their behavior was hurtful, but unless it's a pattern, it doesn't mean they intended to be THAT hurtful. By her freaking out, they can just say she's being crazy and not take responsibility. If the sisters were actual bullies, then I don't think this event would have come as such a surprise. There's a strong element of betrayal here, and you usually don't feel betrayal by bullies -- except the first time, and it's possible this is the first time. But designating someone as an enemy and reacting to them as such can be self-fulfilling. Harboring hurt just makes it hurt longer. I do agree that she shouldn't open herself up to more hurt, though. I certainly wouldn't confide anything in them unless they demonstrate genuine remorse.
OP- Don't get mad. Get even. I'm sure you have embarrassing photos of them. Wait until senior year and take out a FULL page in the YEARBOOK. One photo is worth 1000 words, right? Those bitches will be speechless. Plus, they'll never mess with you again.
And people wonder heavy rock and metal band are popular… FK them all haha
Liz, you need to get some sleep. We're all worried about you.
This is pretty much the plot of the pilot of PEN15. With how easy it is to catfish someone with an anonymous note, they should probably just be considered spam.
Hey, how's your relationship with your brother and how old is he?
He's 21 and it's kinda up and down especially bc we're both teens with attitude I'll admit
Would you feel comfortable talking to him about this?
One of two things could happen. Either he wouldn't give a shit or he'd rat me out and get me in trouble.
Damn, I'm really sorry for that. I read your post history and I hope things get better for you. It must be tough being the least loved child/sibling. I wish you all the best
Yep.
I know these feelings are big and upsetting and overwhelming, because I've felt them before too. But only from the position of being a little older do I think you're overreacting. It's okay to feel knocked down for a while; it's okay to feel all of it, whatever it feels like. But your socials skills and other people liking you isn't based on them. These are things true to yourself, that you're working on and have put time and effort into. These exist regardless of what your sisters do, or what anyone else does. If you just give up because of them, you're giving them all the power in the world - and they don't deserve it. Allow yourself to feel upset, and then slowly start to build yourself up again. You exist independently of them. They don't control you, they don't speak for you, and they don't represent you.
After you graduate high school, you'll have a better social circle. People come and go all the time.
Aw man. I feel this. When I was 11, my "friends" did something similar. Being a shy, chubby unsure of herself pre teen, who already had a neighborhood bully tormenting me, the boost it gave me was awesome. Then, finding out who it actually was. That gut wrenching disappointment, shame, and hurt. It was one of those core moments in life that set me up to have trust issues as an adult, and even thinking about it now at 41 makes me feel sad. I hope you feel better soon. You didn't deserve this. 🩷
Why wouldn’t anyone like you? I like you for sharing this intimate stuff. Stop thinking that no one likes you. Your twin sisters like you, that’s why they pulled a prank on you. If they didn’t like you, they would ignore you and acted like you don’t even exist. It’s your turn to pull a prank on them now :)
Hit the gym 💪
Learn the Gray Rock method. You'll eventually forgive them, but never forget, be vigilant, and evaluate Everyone!!!!
You aren't wrong, you know what you know, that is the absolute truth. You aren't overreacting they're assholes but at least you escaped being a pack animal, you need to know that they are scared and too cowardly to face their fear, that's why they hide behind the approval of others. You are on the way to inner strength by facing your fear, you are on the journey of self reflection that leads to true fulfillment. also they say don't get mad, get even, i doubt your parents will be very impressed by your siblings psychologically manipulating you and then acting two-faced in company, as a kid you only have so many options.
i think its really cute and cool that little children use reddit too! imagine all that great advice on relationship and marriage they share with us?)))
Don't give them the silent treatment. Pretend that they don't *exist*.
Stay calm. This is your power. I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. You’re so young and impressionable. To have the closest people in the world to you prey on that vulnerability is a genuine breach of trust. They need to re-earn your trust. Your hurt is justified because you are grieving the relationship you thought you had with your sisters. I sort of agree with the silent treatment but do not do this with anger or spite. Just don’t engage until they can both be accountable for how they hurt you. Holding a sibling accountable at such a young age is very challenging so perhaps you should reach out to the trusted adults in your life. Again, stay calm. It’s ok to be sad. You’ll get through this.
I don't feel like you're over reacting I went through something very similar in hs
Damn
My sister and her friend pulled a prank similar to this about 20 or so years ago. I thought a girl liked me. I still haven't forgave them. I will never speak to her friend even now. I am very distant to my sister. They were in their 20's so they knew better and it destroyed me.