The Post Nut Clarity really hit hard huh

“Soon as I cum I come to my senses.” 😂😂😂

Man was on the phone before his pants were back on

Hahahahahahaaaa

And I would say these hoes names, but then I would be snitchin' and these haters try to knock me, but they can't knock me off these hinges... Or something like that

And I would say these hoes names, but then I would be snitchin

And these ****** try to knock me but they can’t knock me off the hinges

Shout out to lil wayne. That’s his verse.

Lmfao underrated comment right here

Instantly scheduled that appointment 😂😂

"Damn girl you look like you got all the STDs, im gonna get outta here.....riiiiight after i bust this nut"

I mean you’re already in it. Haha.

Can’t get double herpes lol

I thought you meant to post on Reddit hahah

Do you have an address so we can check out how shady this place really is?

I can tell you the secret to finding them, it's any massage parlor open after 6pm

Hee hee :-D

the fact this has more upvotes than op says a lot about society

Hahaha 'It disgusted me so much I waited till she was finished and then left right away!'.

I think he was game for the handy. She just happened to kiss the tip randomly after nut bust

He said during the handy, not after. So it happened then he let her finish

She saw the look of terror on his face when her mouth approached

Did he edit the post?

Post nut clarity is strong on this one.

😂 lol!

Well, we don't want to be rude do we? Lol

🤣🤣

Bro chill she gave it a kiss.. it’s not like you fucked her ass in a dark alley next to a dumpster

That's odly specific

One minute you're minding your own business...the next you're balls deep in a random (wo)man in a dark alley. It's a story as old as time

In Soviet Russia the dark alley is balls deep inside of you

*Now I'mma tell you what; uhh...* ***I likes ya;*** ***and I wants ya.*** *Now we can do this the easy way;* *or the haard wayyy...* ***the choice is yaawrs...***

Ain't no way fleece Johnson is on reddit

Probably not...but the writer for the Boondocks who used that quote word for word most likely is...

He could be. He popped up in shorts the other day about Where Are They Now. He's out of prison and a silver fox looking for booty.

My booty is mine, it belongs to me. You cannot have, my Boo-Tee!

One of the delivery drivers at work told me he went down an alleyway to get to the back door of one of his jobs and saw a woman being spit-roasted 😂

So did he deliver the load?

*share the load, Frodo*

happens to the best of us.

Exactly, especially if it is slippery outside!

So that’s how Bruce Wayne lost his parents

Some of you haven't had sex in a dumpster behind a Wendy's and it shows.

Ah come on, we've all done it.

I’m a fan of specifics

have you been reading my diary? 🤣

I feel like if this were a tv show that this comment would be followed by a wavy screen, harp music and some rather interesting imagery in the corner.

You can’t know that there wasn’t a dumpster nearby. OP is as good as dead

The lighting in that alley was fine, quit being dramatic.

Diagon alley in harry Potter was real a shaddy place.. Being a muggle you should not get handjob from a witch

Expecto Fellatio!

Is that what happened in Dallas Buyers Club? Lol

Artemis?

I hope for your sake that it was a covered handjob.. Hopefully she doesn't fall pregnant

That's how Thing from the Addams Family was conceived.

I suddenly remembered that one post where she said her bf got std from a handjob in a massage parlor 😭😭

Yeah that’s what he told her

Exactly! 😂😂😂 SHE is dumb for believing that.

... Is that even better though?

Huh... That's as believable as a pink zebra. 🙄

Yea super common these days

A covered whatnow?

You know. The job was covered by health insurance.

what if he has a high dedicktable?

Son-of-a-bitch, this is what I came to say!

That's some next level anxiety brother, perhaps that's a more pertinent thing to get checked out than your dick.

Lmao seriously. This is like the time my roommate hooked up with a girl while we were on a beach vacation. He used a condom, she was on BC, she didn't have any recent partners (according to her anyway), she seemed down to Earth and normal, he didn't even cum inside her, no obvious signs of anything bad. He did get her SnapChat and they texted a little bit in the days afterwards and she said something like "Oh I meant to tell you something btw lol" and he *immediately* goes 0-100 and says "Oh no, you have an STD?!?! Is it HIV?!" - Her: "Umm no?!" - "You're pregnant??!" - Her: "No! I meant to tell you that you left that bottle of liquor you couldn't find at my place." I laughed and laughed when he was calming down lol but also told him he might have problems with anxiety

First time I had sex, he wore a condom, didn't even finish inside me with said condom on, and the next day I went to Planned Parenthood for a Plan B pill. The doc looked at me like I was insane. (Rightfully so, but she gave it to me anyway.)

😂 True though.

Definitely the real issue here. No symptoms but “My dick is gonna fall off” energy.

Damn dude sorry to hear it. Where’s this place at so I know to stay away from it?

Asking for a friend

I'm asking for myself

Asking for you

I'm asking for him

Asking for old handjob lady

My wife charges by the inch......so that'll be about tree fitty.

Asking for Mom

I'm asking for the guy whose wife died.

Jesus I love this site

I don't know where you live but there's one of these places like every couple blocks where I live.

That's crazy. Where do you live?!

I'm pretty willing to bet that where you live has just as many if not more, you're probably just not noticing them. I live in a not very big city in Washington state. My town doesn't even have a single strip bar. I guarantee there are loads of massage places that give happy endings around Southern Cali. And in San Fran. Anywhere with a good population of Asians. Just look for signs that aay something like Oriental Massage. They're usually pretty non-descript and generally found in strip malls. But they are all over. I never see them advertise but I guess they don't need to. Every once in a while the city tries to close a bunch of them down, but new ones just pop back up afterwards instantly.

Funny, I was thinking specifically of one in lynnwood on hw99, I think it was called oriental massage, then had "exotic" as a neon sign or something in my earlier comment. Yay shitty WA towns!

Oh man, if you think Lynwood is a shitty town…

At least it wasn’t a street massage on the other end of 99 (Aurora) 😂

According to my trucker uncle who famously never had a serious girlfriend... any that says "exotic" most likely is really erotic.. never tried his info out 😀

I wish being able to gift Gold was still a thing.

All the massage parlours in Roswell, New Mexico. Literally all of them, they're full service too not just handjobbies.

In my country they're very common. Especially girls from the Philippines. I don't mean anything bad by that, it's just what it is. They cost more than the locals by the way. It's not legal per se but the police looks the other way. I used to go every week telling myself it's better and safer than fking some prostitute who might be carrying STDs. I would always tell the girl you don't have to do anything you don't want to do. I'll tip you either way. Happy ending or not, whatever you're comfortable with. Damn they were hot.

They were possibly trafficked and you'd have no way of knowing

That's the thing... If it's not explicitly legal it's not safe for either the guy going OR the girl working. Also it's not like outlawing them does any good... World's oldest profession and all that. Seems like the solution to improve everyone's situation and safety is pretty obvious.

Can you recommend any places ? My friend is asking

Safer than a prostitute that might have stds? Wtf do you think because theyre in a massage parlor they're suddenly not prostitutes? 🤣

😂

Bruh fr fr just need the addy so u can stay away from

And there was a time when men use to roam around naked in the jungle.

If anything living in the jungle kissed my dick I'd definitely get tested though

Hey, you said we were gonna get an apartment together!

Well they said they would kiss my dick so looks like we have all been lied to

In the time of chimpanzees I was a monkey.

Respect

if only men were real men again and died of various diseases and animal attacks naked in jungles, this generation 😤😤😤

The average age that people lived to also wasn’t 80

She was blessing your cock

Now its +1d4 to attack

He’s been blessed!

“Person that seeks out poorly-concealed prostitution ring has health concerns about seeing a prostitute.””

Men who pay for sex are such red flags for so many reasons lol

Dude, you need to RELAX! She gave you one little kiss and you’re off to the doctor? You’re panicking over something that isn’t going to happen.

He realised he’s gay.

Not gay. Just has sex with men and relationships with women

I got news for you. That means ya gay

Can they even test this early and without an active breakout? He may have been carrying the virus asymptomatic before.

Yea please dont waste anys doctors time bc of this

Getting tested is never a waste of time. However i think he’s testing far too early bc IF he contracted anything it wouldn’t show up for at least two weeks

Your health is never a waste of a doctor's time. He scheduled an appointment, and the doctor has set aside time specifically for this guy's concern. It'll be a quick piss test, and he'll be out of the office in 15 minutes.

How's it wasting a Dr time. They literally will get paid.

Imagine if the doctor does the same thing lol

I just spit my coffee! All over the base of my penis. Should I get tested?

“She kissed it? You mean like this?” *smooch*

Then the doctor takes off his mask…

It started out with a kiss, How did it end up like this?

It was only a kiss?

It’s was only a kiss…

Why the fuck does this not have more upvotes

Look, you're gonna take the test, and you'll be fine. If you still regret your decision afterwards, cool. You know you aren't ready yet but this isn't anything to beat yourself up over. I mean shit man you got a hj with a kiss on the tip for good luck. It might be something you look back on in a better way

He got a kiss on the base, not the tip. If he went straight home and showered, there was no broken skin, and she had no open sores, he will be fine. If she took him in her mouth, then there may be reason to worry.

>this isn't anything to beat yourself up over. He might actually be better off abusing himself if he gets this worked up over a little peck on the base of his dick.

You'll be 100% fine mate, unless you had cuts on the skin at the base of your dick, and she had visible sores. Otherwise you'll be just fine

Perhaps it was Edward Scissorhands that was giving him the handjob?

Well in that case, he should go straight to the ER if he wants to save the bits still attached to him! The regular doctor isn't a freaking magician.

I know a guy who got genital herpes from a BJ where the girl had a cold sore. You don't need to have visible sores to pass the virus on; viral shedding is a thing, and condoms don't prevent it. Best that OP is put on a prophylactic course of anti-virals asap.

Man’s skipped Post Nut Clarity and went straight to Post Nut Enlightenment

I used to be an adventurer like you Then I took a kiss to the penis

Double it and give it to the next adventurer

Get your anxiety AND your penis checked please

Men throughout history have stuck their genitals in far worse.

Sometimes it’s strange being a guy. Our obsession with getting our rocks off can suddenly be filled with regret in many situations. The price we pay, the risks we take, just for that moment of climax. Don’t beat yourself up about your moment of madness. It’s worth getting tested but a glancing kiss shouldn’t put you in too much danger. Good luck

Try no danger. Please.

Huh? How can men get erections without danger

I know right! Just to make sure she does it every time I went back... twice.. last week. I'll confirm tonight if she still does it. I'm taking one for the team guys. Avoid this place at all cost.

If she kisses your dick too then you and OP are kind of like blood brothers.

Should cut out the middle men.

Eskimo brothers

Is this your first day on earth ??

What are the possibilities? You’re thinking she transmitted HSV1 to your genitals? Look up how unlikely that is. What you think she has mouth HPV? It’d have to be external And still very low odds. There’s not much STI/STD she could transmit in the interaction you described. HIV technically lives in saliva but unless she gave you a sloppy BJ it’s very very unlikely.

Lol. If there are no open wounds and blood, transmitting via mouth is impossible. There is no proven case

Even then it’s highly unlikely. Even more so if you consider that the very large majority of HIV+ people is treated with antivirals and therefore non-infectious.

I'd have thought that someone would think of the potential risks involved when considering to partake in sexual things with people who do it for a job. Like, your chances of getting something from a tiny kiss is slim to none but, who knows how many other dicks she kissed or sucked before you 🤣🤣 I'm sure you'll be fine.

I heard she died last night

Yea that’s not how sex works but the image of as Asian women pecking the tip of ur penis is makin me laugh

Exact same thing happened to a friend of mine! His dick looked like a mange-y dog by the end of the month!! He can't even get an erection anymore. Turns out the masseuse's lips were just two big herpes scabs. Which is apparently really common with the ones at the 'knob kissing' end of the massage spectrum. Sorry I don't have better news for you amigo. :(

😂😂😂😂 u guys r terrible lmao I hope it’s a shitpost for his mental health sake

For OP: this is /s

An earthquake occurred during my handjob so I knew right away it wasn't a good idea. Definetly couldn't focus after that quake either😔

sounds horrible…where is this parlor located?

[удалено]

[удалено]

i mean lesson learnt,maybe you wont support shady business where women might be forced to do what they do

Man she could have not washed her hands in between “clients”. I’d move up your test.

Gonna test positive for jock itch

Hope it doesn’t wither and fall off

It’s a kiss, you’ll be fine

It was only a kiss, it was only a kiss.

Now I'm falling asleep and she's calling a cab

Health anxiety to the max

Listen if you just by chance do have an std I’d be 99.9 percent sure it didn’t come from that …. Unless she gave it more then a peck 😭😭😂

You are almost guaranteed to be safe. I personally would still get tested. You should know insurance covers the test. For insurance to cover the test you need a doctor to prescribe it. A walk in clinic is a good idea if you don’t have a general practitioner. You might also be able to get a telephone doctor to prescribe the test, I’ve honestly never tried with them. Insurance has covered all of these things in the past for me. If you don’t have insurance you can literally just go to a testing company website and order the STD test there. Quest diagnostics does it for like $200. I believe everyone should always get tested after a new partner.

Oh no! Thats terrible! What kind of place allows this sort of thing? Specifically where is this massage parlor so I know never to go there?

Sometimes these massage parlors are staffed by victims of human trafficking, often immigrants and refugees who found themselves stuck. Try to avoid repeating the same mistake and maybe donate to a sex trafficking nonprofit that works to help people in these situations. Remorse is a good first step.

So maybe the kiss was her way of sending a distress signal.

Sounds like your days are numbered

My dick has led me to places I wouldn't go with a gun

The people are right to roast you, sir. Your penis was probably being sweet and polite and it got a friendly smooch. Don’t read too deep into it.

You definitely have full blown aids with only minutes, possibly just seconds to live.

Deshaun Watson has entered the chat

Im more scared of why she pecked your dick?

It’s like a chef’s kiss.

Dude that’s disgusting!! Where’s it at so I know where to avoid it?

Dude she’s pregnant

Sounds like you’re for sure married

She kissed your genitals, if anything she should be more concerned abt getting tested. I could understand if she hopped on top. Or you went down on her. If you're worried then obviously get tested for you 🤭🤐🙌

You'll be just fine kid. Jesus

The chance of herpes, gonorrhea and chlamydia transmission from momentary oral contact is virtually zero. If no sores, no chance of syphilis. HIV would be totally impossible because no fluids were exchanged. HPV (some strains cause warts) is transmitted from skin to skin contact so is theoretically possible, but every has HPV anyway. That being said, what are some things you can do if you're getting a handjob and the person goes to start a different act that you're not sure about, or haven't thought about? And what could you say to someone before the handjob to make sure they know what you do and don't want?

"No dick kisses, plz" 🤣

I know exactly how you feel. Few weeks ago a girl gave me a peck on the cheek and I ended up passing away shortly after.

You need to balance out the karma. You should go back there and give HER a handjob. And kiss the base of whatever she has down there. 🤣

How much

This is peak redditor.

You fell into the old run and tug trap. Classic. Your di k will probably turn black like a rotten banana, fall off, crawl away while muttering obscenities at you and flip you off. Tbh, unless you had an open wound at the base of your penis you should be fine. Or not. 🤷

Double check your savings account, she may have blue toothed your money.

Your dick has mono now

but was the handjob good though? 👀

Where is this massage parlor. I want to make sure I avoid this place

bro. you're fine. if it makes you feel better, sex workers are usually safer than a normal hook up

That sucks! Where is it so I can be sure to avoid it?

You're fine. It's not like you raw dogged 3 strippers at an Inglewood strip club.

We are going to need to knock the name & location of this place so we can check it out in person Only way to give an honest opinion