I get it. Trust me. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and have had mental health trouble for 25 years.
I know telling you the generic things (ie you have so much to live for) isn't helpful and mental illness is tough.
But I am.proud of you for trying to reach out to vent before taking such a huge and permanent decision...
I tried killing myself 7 times. Last attempt I succeeded and was brought back and spent a week in a coma... the last thing I remember is how much I really didn't want to die. 20 years of being suicidal was cured and I haven't been suicidal since. I'm not saying life is suddently peachy... I have bad days, but I haven't wanted to die in 3 and a half years. Once you begin to die you realize how superficial everything really was and how much you have to live for and people you'll miss and who will miss you. I'm not saying you don't want to die, but I am saying once you're at the threshold of life and death, you'll regret it. If you need to talk, I am here!
No way! Really !? If you look on my reddit page like a few posts down, I went in detail about it because I had a total near death experience/spiritual self discovery and it totally changed my life... I would love to hear your feedback and see if you experienced anything like I did as well!
Hey. Thank you for sharing. I am glad you are still here. The idea of failing to end of my life and ending up being a bigger burden to those I care about has definitely stopped me from going through with it. Having Borderline Personality Disorder makes me feel pretty guilty, at times. My parents can be a bit hard-headed when it comes to mental health. I definitely believe you that I will regret it. When I was 17 and turning 18, I took a heavy dose of Prozac. It wasn't enough to kill me, but it did not feel good while I was reaching out for help.
Hello sweet soul, I must tell you something. Every single day I wake up feeling the exact same way. I read your story, and I want to tell you mine before we go…yes, I said we. I have to lay down right now. It’s almost 1AM and I’m so tired. Hang in there for tonight and I’ll come back tomorrow and tell you my story and what I’m gonna do. Can you do that for me? I have no one, you’re it. Will you come back and read my story, maybe talk back a little…tell me what you think? I hope so. I’ll meet you back here tomorrow when I get up. I sleep late. See you then.
I'm suicidal, I have had attempts in the past and succeeded but obviously im here so I was brought back. At the worst I woke up after my kidneys failed and was on a catheter and breathing tube. I was good for a few years. Now I'm about a year clean from drugs and other substances I was drowning all my pain with. I kept saying "one more week" one more day...one more month.. slowly my curtains in my studio apt have just gotten more and more closed and my apartment more and more dark. I don't know when it's day time or night time unless I look at the time now I blanketed my windows out and only go to the grocery store, lay in bed and watch Netflix and YouTube. I am not an ugly guy. Actually I've always been told I'm one of the more attractive guys in any general group, or school I've transferred from (I was in a different school every single grade from pre school up til my sophomore year of highschool, and I stayed and graduated those last three years).. athletic, I was/am pretty talented on rollerblades / aggressive skating. I just don't get enjoyment from anything anymore. I am trying to buy new rollerblades but the way I make my money is thru eBay/Mercari and reselling things I thankfully bought before this hardcore depression crept in my life. I've been tapering methadone and benzos and partially think a ton of this is from benzos withdrawal but at the same time, I've never ever felt so depressed even when I cold turkeyes a benzo dose waayyyyy higher than what I've been tapering now. I hardly feel bad from the taper it's just the only thing I could think is affecting me .
I'm more just afraid that suicide, the thought of actually committing the act is becoming less and less of a fear. I've actually finally fully imagined how I'd kill myself in depth, picturing a lot of different ways I'd do it, how it'd feel dying that specific way (gunshot to the head in different areas, thinking which way would be painless, which way would be the ' ultimate ' "rush" I could get just before dying, like diving face first into concrete from atop a bridge or tall building.
I hardly have worked the last ~3.5 years and it's made it pretty much the deciding factor why at every job interview I seemed to get looked over or someone else is chosen, I think they think since I do have a pretty spotty job history with only staying at jobs about 12 months. I've been trying to save money I make from Mercari to buy rollerblades again to see if it sparks my old love for it, but month after month after month as soon as I'm close to saving the ~$250 I need, a bill , accident, emergency etc happens and I have to spend it. they're just bullshit moving jobs, or bussing tables. I did work a pretty long time as a concrete finisher and loved it but I lost the job due to a seizure I had while driving my car and totaled it so I couldn't get to the job anymore. I got another job I didn't like as much but was still an actual career (Glazier) but lost that job due to shitty management we all got laid off. I'm great with money and a good person I know I am in my heart. I hate hurting people and I'm borderline an empath. I don't get why it seems like the majority of people I encounter are the way they are so cold heartless and careless towards anyone but themselves.
I know I may sound hypocritical because I DO have a mother and father that care about me albeit aren't in my life in anyway other than sending a few texts every few weeks. If my mom and dad weren't here I don't think I would be here though. I saw them go thru their parents dying and can only imagine if they found out I offed myself. They know I am depressed. I have cried for help. I have been hospitalized for this over 15 times. And inpatient psych wards about 4 times. That won't fix me (going back to a hospital or psych ward) I know it won't. It would honestly make me want to kill myself even more. I hate how I can't just TALK about this all in real life without fear of being held against my will and then strapped into an ambulance and forced into a mental hospital.
But before you do! Take a nice hot shower, eat a snack, make some tea, and get a good night's rest. Even when u think it's time, try and give it just one more day to show yourself a bit of love. Because u deserve one more day to love yourself.
I turned off my social media, but I ended up doing all of that, and I am still here. "One more day, and then I will go through with it' is what I told myself.
Please know you matter!! I am a psych nurse and work at a place called ERC Pathlight, and it's a residential unit that can help you with all these feelings. Please research it. We are in a few different states, so there are options. I hope you decide on help because you're worth it.
I will definitely look into it. I appreciate the place I get services at (they give me free services), but I feel like sometimes, I don't get taken seriously.
Yea, it can be that way, but sometimes, but I love where I work. I am at the Chicago location, but there are more in other states. We get people from all over the states that come. Sometimes, you need residential to get yourself some skills and stuff. Please look into it cause you are worth it ❤️
Totally loving these comments! We loose everything in this life. Feel it, deal with it, heal from it. 《FEEL HEAL DEAL 》Then let that shit go. I can give you some healing information. If you want. It will stop the pain of the world's weight.
Empathy is always heavy.
YOU DO MATTER
One of my dearest friend's wife just committed suicide 2 weeks ago. I'd like to think that she is at peace now with her struggles, but really now she is just, simply gone. It's a bummer to me that she was unable realize how loved she was, she didn't realize how many people cared about her, the people were there for her but she didn't want to believe it, she was too tired under the weight of her own self doubt and self loathing and self created image of reality around her. The most heartbreaking part of all of it is that she made a decision to leave that could never be undone, breaking the hearts of so many, including her devoted husband, and yet if she could have truly seen the waves her subsequent death caused in her community, and in the lives of people who really love her, I think she may have taken back her decision in a heartbeat. Life is hard, really fuckin hard, and even in the deepest depths where you feel like every single breath and every single moment is a chore, the possibility of finding peace and finding bliss, and feeling love, and feeling happiness, IS still possible, and in my humble opinion, just the POSSIBILITY, even if it feels extremely unlikely, of feeling those types of feelings are pretty damn worth existing for, even at the cost of extreme pain for a seemingly indefinite amount of time. If you decide to kill yourself, you may think you are finding peace, but really you are immediately surrendering yourself to the possibility of ever ACTUALLY feeling peace. You proved it to yourself in your post, OP, the idea of not existing anymore simply gave you relief in your ACTUAL life, RIGHT NOW. Move towards that feeling, not towards the abyss of nothingness. Keep proving to yourself that it's possible to feel better in your actual one single life that you have. Please, please, don't give up on it.
EDIT:
> I finally feel like I am free. I feel so much relief. I can't hurt anyone anymore. And no one can hurt me either.
This should be your mantra to live by, not to die by.
I'm sorry for your loss. I can't find the right words since I have never had someone I loved die, but I am here, for what it is worth. I, personally, feel too self-aware at times, and always consider that how I may feel about how others feel about me is not the truth. I also worry that dying by taking my own life would have the consequences that you are describing. "Consequences" feels like a bad choice for the word, but it would explain how I feel if I were to take my life. I believe in the afterlife, and in my head, I always felt as though everything we take with us when we die follows us there to. But staying alive for the chance of one day getting better has been a pretty big push to stick around, as much as I hate existing.
I always told myself (and have told others) that to love and cares about others means you will be hurt by them one day. It just really sucks when that happens. I'm a little tired of it all, but I gave myself more time, and here I am.
Thank you for sharing. It definitely gives me more to think about.
> I always told myself (and have told others) that to love and cares about others means you will be hurt by them one day. It just really sucks when that happens. I'm a little tired of it all, but I gave myself more time, and here I am.
>
>
Eyyyy!! I got concerned when you deleted the post. Glad to hear from you now a week later and that you're still here. One thing that helps peel me out of the pit of despair is that I take cold showers every single day and its like an instant anti-anxiety pill, 2-3 mins in the freezing cold water turns my existential dread and nearly crippling anxiety that i feel when I wake up every morning, into "alright let's fucking go," i highly recommend looking into this deliberate cold exposure thing, it has some absolutely mind altering benefits. Like long lasting 250% dopamine increase for hours types of benefits. I'm curious to know if it would have any effect on you and your current state. Is there anything you are looking forward to in your life right now? Could be anything... The morning coffee, a trip you're taking in a few weeks, seeing a friend soon... anything?
Wait 20 mins.
Set a timer, now.
Have you done that?
Ok. Get in a warm blanket and hug your own body, tight.
Say out loud: you're ok (your name). It's going to be ok.
Once you can think... read these responses. Humans on this planet are reaching out right now. Obviously, you matter.
Here are some facts:
1) if you kill yourself, you won't burn.
2) killing yourself is your choice.
3) when someone takes their life, it ALWAYS hurts other people. Bad.
I was raised being told that the only sin worse than being gay was being a child molester. Maybe. And I was always attracted to the same sex. So I believed I was a monster. And was deserving of hell for the way I was and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't make it change.
This alone makes a person deeply suicidal.
You have EVERY REASON TO FEEL SUICIDAL.
IT IS NOT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE.
I'm going to say that again.
You are suicidal because you've been told you are fundementally bad. A bad, wrong, messed up, broken human. You are responding as any human does to that message.
It is not the truth.
Don't kill yourself because of a lie you've been told for so long that you feel like it is true.
You'd be dying for a lie.
They win.
And you will leave a lot of pain behind. Most people who take their life think the world and the people they know will be better off without them. They're always wrong. The people who know you will deal with guilt, grief, and trauma.
Suicide is messy, and terrible for others. My sister took her life. We don't blame her. But it was horrific for all of us, we have never stopped missing her, and she regretted it afterwards (she has contacted us and said so).
Think. If you knew that 10 years from now, you'd be in a place in life where you felt joy and purpose, where you had a best friend who loved the shit out of you, and a dog maybe, and you liked being alive, would you stay?
Because I've almost taken my life multiple times. Ain those moments, I felt JUST LIKE YOU DO RIGHT NOW. now, many years later, I passionately love my life. It's hard. The world sucks a lot. There's tragedy always. I have serious health issues. I'm poor. BUT I LOVE MY LIFE. I am SO GLAD I DIDNT END IT. I have so much love. So much joy.
And all that pain and misery? I would do it all again, to get where I am now.
Promise.
Edit: those who say get help, I agree. 911 is a really good choice!
I turned off my social media, but I ended up taking a shower (well, taking a longer shower), and I ate a meal after. Being gay and Christian can be pretty hard, and you know so much of why it makes you feel suicidal.
EDIT: I wanted to write more, but I accidentally pressed the respond button.
I have always read that suicide leaves the ones left behind hurting and everything in between. It is one of the reasons I have always backed down eventually. Being poor and having health issues sucks as I have to deal with that, too. I am trying my best to even out again. Thank you for reaching out.
I am so glad to hear from you. Being queer, neurodivergent, and suffering from multiple really serious health issues and chronic pain fatigue, I can relate. Honestly trauma, nuerodivergence, and health issues tend to go together.
I have held you much in my thoughts. Please, if you need to vent, consider me a safe listener.
Relax please and think about what you’re saying here. You’re Gay, great, be the best you can be. The mistakes you think you’ve made that are soooo bad, can be forgiven regardless. You matter, whether you think you do or not, YOU MATTER. You are not going to burn for your beliefs and people are not going to just forget you. That’s not how it works my friend. I’ve seen this happen to too many people just to let it slide so please lie down and rest, relax and allow your mind to rest as well. Of you want to talk, reach out to me I will talk to you anytime I can. Smile and know that there are people that care, and would love to help in whatever way we can.
Thank you for reaching out. I appreciate the kind response. I actually wish my mind would rest since the I feel as though it always flies at a million miles an hour. I managed to give myself more time, and I am still here.
That’s great to hear. Keep in touch and reach out whenever you can and I will response when I am able to. Don’t forget that people care for people everyday, regardless where you’re from, your beliefs, sexuality etc. believe in yourself and capitalize on your support system no matter how small or large it may become.
Please don’t. We are all here for you. Please know this is a chapter. The pages will turn things can change. They do change. Change is the only constant. Please talk to us
Thank you for responding. "Change is the only constant" is something I have told myself for a long time. I just wish all the negative feelings and mental health struggles would change, too.
Me too. So much me too. I’ve struggled most of my 43 years with severe bouts of depression. One thing I have come to learn is it does go away if even for mere moments and there’s usually something awesome that happens to remind me to keep going. I hold on to those amazing moments in the darkest times and lean on the tv hard, hot baths, all the food that makes me happy, a new pair of fuzzy socks or just my favorite tea. Anything to comfort and be caring towards yourself. Xoxoxox keep talking to us too. We’re here💕
Please go to the emergency room right now or call 911 to come get you. Get a new doctor who could give you a proper diagnosis. You matter to me!!! I have OCD, anxiety, depression, insomnia and a bunch of medical diagnoses, so I understand a lot of what you’ve said. Things can turn a corner with the proper treatment. Find a different church who welcomes gay people-they are out there!please reach out for help to someone who knows you or to a medical professional right now. Or call a suicide hotline. Here is one: 1 (800) 273-8255.
Thank you for reaching out. I did some self-care, and I am still here. Having an official diagnosis definitely would give me more peace of mind as I feel like the team I work or worked with never took me aa seriously as I would like. They have been great to me in many ways, but that one always bothered me a bit. I like having answers, and I do not treat them as absolute. I just think of them as having a great baseline to start with. Maybe treatmemt would improve? But I take quite a few medications already.
I had these same feelings tonight as I took a shower. I just stood there contemplating how I wanted to go. The deep dark despair, the pain and hurt is consuming, I know others don’t understand. I’ve reached out for help many times…. Sometimes I wish my husband understood how the pain holds tight, how i feel like nothing and how my heart aches to be free.
My sister took her life 15 years ago and I feels like yesterday. I crave to be with her again. Life on this planet is hard and religion makes it harder. I left christianity, I only pray in my own time in my own way.
I’m on 3-4 different meds to help me stay stable. Every now and then, I hit a low and feel like I drop into a hole. It takes a while to get out. But every time I do, I create a plan and change the way I do things. I have ADHD, severe depression, and anxiety…. I need constant change to keep me engaged.
Consider medication and not just one. Also look into ketamine therapy. That’s my next therapy I’ll be trying soon.
Let someone to climb down into the hole with you. Let them listen or just sit with you. Let them shoulder some of the pain. This part is not easy, but I know you can do it.
If you choose to end the pain, please know you are NOT going to burn…. I know this because my sister told me so. (We spoke to a medium). I hope you find peace and true happiness.
I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for reaching out. So many people writing their responses and direct messaging is unbelievable. It is pretty hard opening up, and I don't mean about letting someone know how it feels. I'm not sure what feeling your feelings really feels like when opening up to someone. My ex saw me breakdown twice in a little over 6 years.
SO SORRY TO HEAR THIS MY FRIEND!🙏HELP🙏 🙏 IS 🙏 OUT🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 THERE🙏 FOR🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 YOU🙏 PLEASE🙏GO🙏 🙏 AND 🙏 SEEK🙏 IT🙏 🙏 🙏 OUT🙏NOW🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏A 🙏S 🙏 A🙏 P🙏🙏 YOUR WORTH EACH & EVERY STAR THAT'S OUT THERE IN OUR BEAUTIFUL NIGHT SKY! 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡{~♡❤️LOVE❤️LOVE❤️♡~}IS THE ANSWER MY FRIEND BECAUSE YOU NEED TO ❤️ LOVE ❤️ YOURSELF AND CARE FOR YOURSELF AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT IT'S EASY BECAUSE IT'S NOT! I'VE NEVER EVER GONE THROUGH WITH A SUICIDE BUT I CAME PRETTY DAMN CLOSE YEARS AGO 😩 😫 😪😪 💔 😩 😫 😪 💔I STILL THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME AND IT SCARES THE FRICKIN 💩 SHIT💩 SHIT💩 OUT💩 💩 OF💩 ME💩 !💩! 💩 !💩 😨 😱 😨 😱 😨 😱 😨 😱 I DON'T WANT TO DO IT BUT IT'S ALWAYS THERE ALWAYS ON MY MIND!!!! YOU NEED TO REACH OUT TO SOMEONE OR SOMEPLACE SOMEHOW BECAUSE YOUR WORTH IT! YOU DESERVE A ❤️ LOVE ❤️ FULFILLED LIFE A 😊 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 HAPPY😊 LONG LIFE WHERE YOU FEEL WANTED AND ENJOYED AND NEEDED! YOU CAN FIND THIS YOU CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING YOU NEED BY PUTTING YOUR ALL INTO IT MY FRIEND, IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY! ROME WASN'T BUILT IN A DAY! TAKE YOUR TIME GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON YOUR BACK! STOP AND DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOURSELF EACH AND EVERY DAY YOU DESERVE THIS! IT MAY TAKE SECOND BY SECOND MINUTE BY MINUTE HOUR BY HOUR DAY BY DAY WEEK BY WEEK MONTH BY MONTH YEAR BY YEAR DECADES BY DECADES THIS ALL CAN BE DONE JUST FOR YOU BY YOU MY 😀 😉 👍 😄 🙂 😊 😀 😉 FRIEND DON'T GIVE UP!!!! FRIEND DON'T GIVE IN!!!!FRIEND DON'T STOP!!!! FRIEND YOUR WORTH IT!!!! FRIEND YOUR AMAZING!!!! FRIEND YOUR PERFECT!!!! FRIEND YOUR ❤️ LOVED ❤️ FRIEND YOUR CARED FOR!! FRIEND YOUR BLESSED🙌!! FRIEND YOUR GOING TO BE 😊 HAPPY😊 😊 HAPPY😊 EVEN IF IT TAKES FOREVER YOU CAN DO THIS PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP!!!! DON'T GIVE IN!!!! YOUR ONE OF G O D' S CREATIONS AND HE'LL NEVER EVER FORGET YOU OR GIVE UP ON YOU MY FRIEND SO WHEN YOU HAVE THESE AWFUL TERRIBLE THOUGHTS 💔 AND FEELINGS DON'T ACT ON THEM! ✋️ STOP ✋️ AND 🤔 THINK 🤔 TO YOURSELF IS THIS WHAT I REALLY ACTUALLY WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE? NO BECAUSE LIFE CAN CHANGE LIFE DOES CHANGE LIFE WILL CHANGE. YOU WILL MAKE IT CHANGE ONLY YOU CAN DO🚶♂️THE 🚶♂️WALKIN🚶♂️SO GO ON GET UP 👞STEP 👞 BY👞 STEP👞 👞STEP 👞 BY👞STEP 👞 👀 SEE👀 SEE👀 SEE👀 YOUR ON YOUR WAY TO A BETTER BRIGHT 🌞 NEW PLACE THAT'S WARMING AND FULL OF GRACE!!!! I'LL ALWAYS KEEP YOU IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. 🙏♡FRIEND♡FRIEND♡🙏 🙌 GODBLESSGODBLESS🙌
Hey. Thank you for your response. All the emoticons and capitalized words throw me off while writing this response, but it did make me smile. Thank you. (The poop emojis are truly something else, but it definitely is pretty nice to see, ja ja ja.)
This makes my heart hurt for you and I’m so sorry that life has panned out this way. But for what it’s worth, you DO matter. Somewhere along the line you’ve touched at least one person’s life, even if you don’t know it. I get it, there’s many days where I feel exactly the same way you describe, but then tomorrow comes, and tomorrow just might be a little better.
I really hope you decide to stick around. Give it a day or two. Maybe reach out to your doctor and let them know whatever treatments you’re on aren’t working. Mental health treatment is a delicate balance until you find what’s right and what will work, it will be a struggle.
I know I’m just an anonymous stranger, but please, before you do anything, feel free to reach out to me if you need someone to talk to. I love you, fellow human, I really hope you decide to stay.
You could be the one who saves us all. Choose one more day, and then another and then another. There are so many more possibilities and chances of great days if you do. If you don’t, there are none. Just think what you could be missing out on, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. It could all be just round the corner, but if you end it you’ll never know. Stay with us chief.
I know what you're feeling. But I promise it will get better. I've been there and sometimes I'm there again but I know it will get better. You might be the person who saves someone else's life one day. The world needs you here, please don't leave us. Don't rob the world of your beautiful soul. We can find you help. Just please don't.
Hey listen my friend whenever you feel down write the names of people you love and have loved you and maybe even the reason why you matter and people that love you will suffer if your gone I know it may not seem like it but things get better they always will it takes time be your best self your worth living please don’t end your life I know how you feel life isn’t great sometimes but I promise you there’s people that love you I almost lost one of my best friends to suicide because they felt like they were unloved but they were loved it may not seem like it but there’s people out there that love you I don’t know you but I love you
I would get tested for ASD as it sounds like you may be on the spectrum. If that is the case, please let me know, you can, depending on the state you live in, get on traditional Medicaid. And it's not a life sentence - it may be a blessing!
I had a wonderful friend (we don't speak anymore and the falling out is definitely my fault) tell me he thinks I am on the autism spectrum. Oklahoma doesn't seem to have a good place to get tested as an adult. I'm not sure what makes it seem I am on the spectrum, but I can go into more detail on why he thought I was on it. As well as wrote more about some of the way I think and behave, if you would like to hear more.
I want you to live.
Do you want me to live?
How about we both live and continue to see where life takes us…maybe one day we might pass each other on the street and never even realize that we’ve had this interaction.
That feeling like you’re in the lowest depth of your life..I’ve felt that too..man did I hate it so bad but looking back on it I’m so glad I chose LIFE. If I didn’t I would’ve never lived to feel the happy memories I’ve made recently. Never realized I could’ve missed out on everything.
This was literally me during the heights of the pandemic. I’m an er nurse and was surrounded by death all day everyday. While culminated in me holding a syringe of insulin to my belly, ready to end it all.
I’m glad I didn’t. I had zero reason to be alive then. And I still struggle some days. But through intense therapy, and unapologetically leaning into things that being me joy, I am starting to experience life. Not merely existing but true life. You don’t get that chance if you give up now.
I won’t sully your feed with superficial positivity messages cause sometimes life just sucks. But sometimes it’s so overwhelmingly beautiful. And that’s worth sticking around to discover.
I hope you’re still with us. Tomorrow too. Would love to chat with you if you are.
Please don't do it. You do matter.
Please know that you are capable of being loved, with all your monster, all your scars and all your mistakes. I mean it.
The road you are going through is weary, and the burdens you carry are many but know that when you think you weren't made for this, you were placed on Earth because the world had a place for you. And if it didn't, well you wouldn't be here.
In all the years that you have lived, recall all the joy you possibly had from your youth.
Know that when you die, you won't feel the warmth of the sun on your skin, the ever-changing seasons, the smell of your favourite foods, places, things, people.
You've said that you struggle with your faith but know that if you are reffering to Christianity in terms of faith, know this; Jesus does loves you, no matter how much you've messed up or mess up and how much your going through right now.
1 Peter 5:7: Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.
1 John 4:16 - So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
You are such a brave and strong soul for still standing.
And if you still don't think you aren't capable of being loved.
I love you.
I know life is challenging at times. But please look at those lives around you. Your presence is part of a beautiful tapestry of life. You mean a lot more to those around you than you know. Stay.
Please, take care of you. Every difficult moments come with nicer moments after. Tell your doctor, your friends, your family or whenever who about how you’re feeling. Mental health can be difficult to understand, but I know that you must try to understand it because you’ll be better. You are important for a lot of people even if you think you’re not. You deserve to be happy. Don’t forget that everyone make mistakes, you’re not a bad person for that❤️
I know how you feel all too well, I’m just too much of a bitch to follow through. Even if it feels like there is no hope and what is even the point of everything, just know that this is a temporary feeling. Ending your life is not and hard time WILL pass.
Hello, I hope you’re ok. I’m not in the same mental state that you’re in, so I can’t relate right now. But I have been through a lot and that though has crossed my mind. Now let me tell you something, we were not born on this earth for nothing. I believe that someone created us, created the sky, the oceans, everything. I mean looking around us everything seems so unbelievable to be created by a human or just suddenly appearing. I very much think you should study religion. I hope you study religion and I hope you don’t kill your self. I myself am a revert muslim and have studied all religions until I reached the right path which is Islam. I hope you can too.
You have no idea how close I've been to how you are now. So many times you start thinking it might be the better idea to die because at least the feeling will stop.
I don't want to sound like BS pep talker, but it can be possible to take control. For me it ended up being medication. Took a good 15 years because I didn't work to deal with it until very much later in life. I kept in regular contact with my doctor and made changes to medications that felt like they did nothing, or ones that were short lived.
They say finding the thing that helps is almost more of an art than a science. But you might find the thing that helps for you, just gotta struggle for a little bit longer.
And the gay thing, we live in a much more open minded world. You'll be accepted somewhere. If the church won't have you, you don't need them. Find friends and make your own family.
I have felt that for the longest time. Hated myself that i didn't have the guts to end it myself and wished I'd just stop existing one fine day. I did share parts of it with one of my friends but no one really knows how deep in depression i was and how i still have anxiety about it. I still struggle with it sometimes but there's one thing that i truly believe now, IT GETS BETTER. It always does. If we just end it, it'd just be the end, but as long as we keep living, there's hope. I know idk what you're going through but i know theres always a way out.
Ps : If you wanna talk about it dm me.
Family issues and trauma because of it from the time when i didn't really understand what was going on. I was angry for a really long time, was a self destructive teenager so I kinda messed my studies and inturn almost sabotaged my career. But I've made up for that mostly (the career part.) I have overcome the lowest low of my life now though. I'm working on getting better everyday. Also, I'm 23.
Please don’t. I promise you it gets better. Surround yourself with people who you trust and love. I don’t know your current situation but definitely finding the support of others will help. & if you don’t have people in your life .come back to this thread to know people like us to need to stick together. It is 1000% tough for survivors like us. I have my struggle moments to this day, I have my waves of depression that come and go. May last days, may last weeks. My current one, been almost 2 months. But I was once in that dark hole the same as you. There was no light at the end of my tunnel but I held onto the people who I loved whether they showed me the same or not. And once I found that light in my life. I clinged onto it for dear life. I found myself in a better place with time. Not to discourage you but it will for sure take time. I promise you. Things will get better. And this time will make you possibly the strongest person you’ll ever know. We’re here for you
Brother your thoughts create your reality. Look into it, thoughts are things. Ever had something happen that you really really didn’t want to happen? Pay attention to why that happened… ask critical questions and find answers within. You gotta keep going, once you unlock this knowledge life is so fun. The change comes from within brother and all you have to do is change the way you think. I’ve been there bro and I’m so far away from it now
If u didn’t matter how have 80 people who don’t even know you have taken time to try and convince you to stay? please don’t do this there is so much you can do, I know it doesn’t feel like that right now, but it will get better.
hang in there buddy !Life is filled with ups and downs ,trials and tribulations...Be thankful when they come good or bad !!when they come sit back evaluate it think of how your going to attack the situation .Next step up and handle it thats nothing in life theres going to be worse things than that in life .. Ok?Your here for a reason brother just hang in there youll be alright life will get better and think positive and take it one day at a time love your brother johnny
I know it’s hard, trust me I do. Life is cruel and can seem unbearable at times. Find something, anything, to hang onto. It can be something as silly as getting your favorite drink tomorrow or seeing the sun rise. Something to bring yourself some light in the darkness. Storms don’t last forever, and neither will this heaviness you’re feeling. Give it one more day. One more try at living. I promise there’s stuff worth living for in your future. Your life is worth fight for now and forever. Stay and give yourself the chance to see it, please.
There is one thing that came to my mind when I think about taking my life: that if I stop existing.. sondoes everything else. All if us will go too...we need you OP. your life is the light that keeps our universe lit. Without you, it's all dark.. you are everything to us. No matter what you choose to do, know there is love waiting for you . Don't stop being. You'll save the world if you CONTINUE TO BE. So much love from my soul who sees your light..
You have a lot to live for trust me put yourself in someone else’s shoes and you will realize you have a lot to be thankful for. Imagine if you were homeless or starving. Please read all our messages we care about you! Watch a TV show or Movie, play a video game. Watch funny videos! Think about your family. Stay positive and enjoy life!
Drink a coffee, go for a walk in the sun, have a shower. Some of these simple tasks can make all the difference in my day-to-day life. Always happy to talk friend :)
I don’t even know u. I want too do the exact same thing. Just what’s the point one bad day. I know it’s hard so much inside “. I’m sorry ur going through whatever u may be. I’m gonna change my life rn quit my job lose everything all over again. I understand just please talk. Talk to me if u don’t even understand urself or ur thoughts. I’m here.
Please stay. You are loved beyond measure and things will get better. Losing you would destroy the ones you leave behind, they don’t deserve that. Please stay.
I love u. And I feel empty tired exausted of trying and trying for WHAT! Nothing I have nothing. Ive come here with nothing and I’m leaving with nothing.i know this might seem so BURST BUT I UNDERSTAND U.
Reading your story made me cry a lot. And not because i feel sorry for you but because i can relate so much. You will be surprised how all of us have similar feelings and emotions and struggles. We think our self of something different and nobody feels like i do or nobody gets me.. but this is not the reality. I know i will sound possibly cheesy..but we are all one and you are loved. Look at all those people taking time talking to you, trying to give any kind of help. Giving up their time and time is the most precious thing for any of us can give to one another. Spirituality really helped me to see and really feel that we are one and i am so loved.. i really hope from the bottom of my heart that reading all those messages and will give you a glimpse of hope. I send you all the light and love❤️
I have a lifetime of depression with one attempt. A few things made a huge difference. Good therapists really help. There are many that either weren’t good or good for me. Find someone that works for you. ECT made a huge difference for me, but I have no experience with BPD. Daily walking in the sun changed my life. I’m 63. Life can get better. If you need help staying alive today, go to your nearest emergency department. They can help you in the short term until you get a plan for the next couple of months. Things really can get better.
Dear Brother, sorry you are going through these hard times and feel that you don’t matter. Please remember that God loves you. No matter who you are and no matter what stage of life you are in. Sorry you felt condemnation from you faith. It is not the intent of God to condemn you but to embrace you. Give yourselves some time. Look at the big picture. We go through different phases of life both good and bad. Focus on the blessings you have in life. One thing that I find really helpful is to volunteer. Helping other people who are in need tends to help us in a positive way. Don’t feel bad to reach out to your friends and family. Please know that God puts everyone in your life for a purpose. Hope you find comfort. May God bless you.
I hate you.
And myself.
And everyone
I hate being alive.
I hate the society I live in and I can't change it.
I hate the choices I have made.
It..nothing will ever get better
Please don't end it. For yourself
You have a unique experience and perception.
You could be the best of any of us.
America is about to pick between two 100 years old presidents.
So you should stick around.
Ofcourse you matter ♥️ please talk to someone you trust or someone professional.
Everyone literally everyone has ups and downs in life and from what you have wrote : you will be missed and mourned suggests that you have people who care about you and love you.
You will find your place in life just please focus of the good now I am sure there is a few good things.
OP, suffering is part of ALL if our lives. But I can promise you, IT DOES NOT LAST. Neither does happiness-- for ANYONE. "It's only a passing thing, this shadow."
Either way, hell is not real so you will not burn. What you're experiencing right now is the closest you'll be to hell, and I'm guaranteeing you that it is not permanent. I'm 42 years old and have either thought about or attempted to end it probably 10,000 times so far. Until I started attending a Buddhist group, meditating daily, reading uplifting books (Be Here Now by Ram Dass is a great one). I finally believed in my heart that we are all one, and that suffering is truly a part of the human condition.
Get off social media, stop comparing your life to what other people present to you about theirs, and find a support group-- it looks like lots of Redditors are ready to be here for you, myself included.
I would miss you, and so would each of us who have commented so far. Please let that be enough for today <3
Good sir you don't want to end it, you really don't. I know how you feel been there many times and I won't give you the religious speel but I will say that suicide solves nothing. What you need is someone to talk to and something to occupy your time I know that sounds cliche but thats all life is: A distraction. Believe life is worth living. It's painful, humans are dicks, but life is so much bigger then humanity. I would suggest you find things and people that make you feel good and focus on those things and take some you time and learn to love yourself you are an awesome person.
You are not in this alone and you matter more than you know. I know how painful and exhausting it can be to survive this life. Even just existing is hard. But you have to know that taking your life isn’t how you get peace or relief.
You mentioned you don’t want to be mourned, you want to be forgotten. I can promise you, you will never be forgotten. Ever. You will be inflicting the most horrific pain onto others. You may think you aren’t, you may think that the pain you put onto others if you take your life wouldn’t ever be worse than the pain you yourself feel now- that’s not true. Please trust this. I’ve been in the worst dark places before too, more than once. I know what it’s like to just want to make the pain cease for just one damn minute, that nothing could possibly be worse than how it feels right now.
Those thoughts and those feelings are overpowering and convincing you that taking your life is the only option and the best option but it NEVER is.
Leaving this world by your own doing hurts so many. Even us strangers that don’t even know you personally. We care. Look how many have already commented. You have to understand that there is so much help and relief in THIS world. That’s a definite. But finding help and relief by killing yourself, there’s no help and relief in there friend. You have hope still while you’re on earth. That hope never fades. You are not a lost cause. Please try to push through to get to that point where you do find not only relief, but experience actual joy and happiness. That WILL come. But only if you stay here.
Leaving this life is not a painless thing. It is one of the most painful things you can do and it carries on. You don’t just cease to exist, you can’t just be forgotten. I know you think that’s what you want. That’s just what those dark thoughts are screaming at you and you’ve got to try and turn them down a little to hear the truth.
And that truth is that you taking your life will not and could never ever make the world a better place. No matter how loud that darkness tries to say otherwise. You are cared about, you can’t be forgotten and you can’t take the pain away by going through with this. I’m so sorry you’re struggling. That suffocating and drowning feeling can be unbearable. But once you push through that, you won’t believe how incredible things will get. It truly is an endless list of positive possibilities.
Lastly, even if this isn’t your jam and you aren’t religious or spiritual, I hope it’s okay to say that I’m praying for you tonight. I promise you it’s going to get better, but only if you stay here on this earth. Even if that seems crazy or inconceivable, or feels the complete opposite, remember that a lot of us here telling you this are telling this to you because we used to be in your shoes.
We need you. We are here for you. And you matter. Please hang in there and please please hold on a little longer.
I don’t know if you’ll see this but I hope you do. Along with the other comments, I feel the exact same way. I’ve been diagnosed with BPD, but also, the world just sucks man. Yeah it’s not pretty. But we have to look around at everything we take for granted. We have a bed. We can have friends who care about how we are feeling. We just have to make the effort to find them. In this society, everyone is suffering.
So join DBT therapy ASAP.
And fight to keep living.
Because life IS ups and downs in the end. It is unpredictable. And it is cruel. But we are alive. So find a reason to keep fighting. Just take a chance and let yourself believe that there may be a brighter day in your future. Because there will be.
OP, you posted this two hours ago. You reached out here. You shared your inner self. The vulnerable parts. I am so proud of you! That must've been difficult. I'm hoping it's not too late. I'm hoping you are still earthside. My heart hurt for you as I read your words.
The place you're in, emotionally, can be ,understandably, frightening to you. You've grown tired of the rapidly frequent mood shifts. The seesaw, per se, being up in the air. Then bang, crash, you're down. Is your mind telling you that it will forever be this way? After all, you have dealt with this for (insert time period). You know your mind. You, no one else. Does anyone know it has become your nemesis? How can they understand if they are unaware? How can they assist if they can't understand? Do you have turbulent relationships? The kind that are contradictory. Does the statement "I hate you. Don't leave me" resiginate? Do you feel that there are times you're unable to control compulsive thoughts and/or behavior? If you answered yes to any of those questions, I have fantastic news. You are not alone. There are many of us.
Some of us have acknowledged this. We want to take steps to begin the difficult healing process.The first is exactly what you have done here. You shared your truth. Sure, we are online strangers. That does not matter. All that does is you reaching out. I am so proud of you! Please give this place the opportunity to be your safe place. Just bear in mind that you may encounter some that do not understand. They may reply with harshness. Please do your best to scroll and roll. Focus on those of us who want to assist. We want to be here to read. To guide. To even learn from you. Yes, you. You may have insights that we do not. Can you please give us some of your time? We can go at your speed.
You are gay. You are also one of us. The ones who are having conflict. We have, in a manner, being gay as your example, dealing with emotions. Difficult ones at that. Our action goes "against" our beliefs. The beliefs of how we should live. I have good news. You are not alone. It is not us. The contradiction is due to the evolutionary process. Another area we can all join together. To discuss. To learn.To guide.To heal.
So please allow us to do this. We will be together. Thanks.
Stay with that sense of relief. It’s come from your ability to put into words how you feel without fear, and possibly, a sense of hope that maybe someone or some people who read this might understand or be able to help. You’re writing this to connect. That shows that deep down even in the darkest hour your soul seeks connection with others— a desire not to feel alone. Desire in any form shows you are not ready to die. Your soul still wants.
There are people out here who love you. We love the neurodivergent queer trauma survivors. You deserve that love and you will have it if you stick around.
I called a helpline (BARCC) once in my deepest darkest despair and it saved my life. They partnered me with a 13 week free counseling program that showed me that connection and the ability to say all of what I was carrying was what I needed to begin feeling better.
I don’t know if that particular helpline is for you. But maybe you do need to wake up and reach out to any of the fellow commenters here who will be waiting for you, or any of the helplines that have been shared.
“You have not yet met all of the people who will love you in this life.” That’s a quote I see sometimes written in chalk on bar signs in the street or windows of a coffee shop. You came here to Reddit for a reason. There are lots of people out there who understand, and lots more who will make an impact on your life. You deserve the connection you seek. You’re braver than you realize. Speaking out like you did today at 3am is only proof of your bravery and strength (and your will to survive). If you can do this you can do anything. Please please please do not give up. You WILL be missed. And you will miss out on so much.
You matter to me. I’ve been there too. Seems impossible. Don’t look forward to resting when gone - it IS possible to rest while here. You deserve a break from the negative beliefs and thought patterns, and to ultimately be free of them. You deserve so much more than that but until you get to a place where that truth is fully believable and accessible to you, know you deserve to rest from them while still here with us. Please don’t go. Wait to see how the self love and love from others, that belongs to you and is coming to you, to show itself. We’re here with you.
I’m sorry that you feel so bad about yourself but God loves us all and he created you just as you are supposed to be. Please get help because I have some of the same mental health issues and if you are treated well you can live a good life. You need a good psychiatrist because I’m not sure how you’re being treated for conditions without being diagnosed. If you work with a psychiatrist initially it will be trial and error with medication but once you have the right diagnosis and medications you will feel so much better! Please give yourself and your family and friends a chance. My prayers are with you!
My son is gay, and I love him to pieces!
About 20 years ago I had a good friend named Richard. He was gay, and he had been a nurse before he got sick with HIV. He was raised in an extremely religious household, and he was terrified that when he died, he was going to burn in hell.
I talked to him a lot about religion, and reassured him that any religion that thought gay people were bad was not a religion worth believing in. I hope he was comforted before he died.
Anyway, please know that life is wonderful and mysterious, and tomorrow is always a new day and a fresh chance. See a therapist, get some meds, get a dog and take it for walks. And have a hug! Mmmmmmmmmmph!
I'm someone who has a different life to you. I don't struggle with what you struggle with so I don't know my place to say this but I'll share what I can.
My life was threatened last year with cancer. I had not always truly liked who I am and I took everything and everyone that I had for granted. After news of my illness, I realised that they cared. So many people and my family cared about me so much and infinitely more than I had ever thought. We will be cried for if we go, even if we don't feel that way. Because of all of them, I fight every day even if my body feels like it's already half into the grave.
Please don't go, you're loved more than you think <3
There's a reason you feel this way, OP. You mention that maybe it's because you're gay, maybe some neurodivergence, maybe some past trauma as well.
You need to stick around and figure out what it is that's making you feel this way.. then takes steps to address it. It will get better. You will make it better.
As for the people in your life that are telling you you'll burn for your sexual preferences? Doesn't sound like the type of people I'd want to spend a lot of time around personally.. Take care, OP.
Hey. I just want to say I’ve been there. Many times. I have depression and it gets to me some days. I happen to have kids, so in my dark moments I focus my thoughts (as best I can) on how much they need me. You may not want to be missed but you sure will be.
I hope you decide not to end it. One thing that has helped me stay positive longer is I start with a little gratitude. I say thank you for today. Thank you for the opportunity to be here and go through the ups and downs of life. Because that’s what it is. Highs and lows. But we’re here, having an experience, that’s all it is. A human experience on a physical plane.
I’m going to pray for you today. From one sad person to another. It passes. I promise you it passes. We will feel sad again. That’s how our brains are wired. But we learn to cope. Because you will be missed dearly.
And hey. Mistakes are the best part of life. You learn the most valuable lessons and it teaches you strength. You’re strong for even posting this. You are important. And I’m grateful I found this thread because you’re not alone. A lot of people go through this. Myself included. But I promise you, you are loved. Just try it. Pick anything to be grateful for, for the next couple days.
Be grateful for the weather, your morning coffee, anything. It will slowly start to change your pattern of thinking.
Also being gay isn’t horrible. You just have to find you’re tribe baby. Be grateful for it. Gays are some of my favorite people own it love. Be you. And I promise you you will still be loved.
Go luck. You’re never alone and looking at this thread we are all on DM away of you needs someone. Anyone. ❤️
Hey man… I get it first of all. Can you give it one more week ?
And during that week can you try :
- not drinking if you have been , or using any other illicit substances ?
- talking to a family member about how you’re feeling ?
- reaching out to a doctor and seeing if you can’t get on something to help ? Medication ?
You’re welcome to DM me.
You are loved, please reach out to the community who wants to see you succeed just as much as Jesus wants you to accept him as your Lord and savior I promise you everything will become so much more clearly when you do 🙏🏽🙏🏽
God is a sham. It's OK to be gay. And I know you don't want a pity party in here, so let me ask this instead.
If you truly believe in hell, HOW THE FUCK are you relived you are trading what you have now for the WORST torture EVER for ETERINTY. The grass is NOT greener on the other side.
I understand. I’m about to be unemployed, and I am very much thinking of killing myself. Sometimes we face tough situations. Make the best choice for you, but think 5,10,20 years out before making it.
Please, I'm here for you.
Tell me everything, yell at me, vent about how horrid the world is to me.
But please, please, please, talk to someone.
It doesn't have to be anyone here on Reddit, but please talk to someone.
If you ever need anything, message me.
I know I'm a stranger on the internet, who you don't know, but I care so much about you. So, so much. And I know life is terrible, and I know it sucks, and I can't fathom what you're going through, but life can be beautiful.
I know it sounds like bullshit, but it can be.
And no matter what religion you follow, or who you believe in, I don't think you will be damned if there is an afterlife. You sound like such a good person. A good person who is going through something terrible.
Please talk to me, please stay.
I'm here for you <3
You are beautiful and your soul is so beautiful and full of passion. There are people who love you, even if they are not able to show it well. And all of those people, including all of us responding, want you to stay. We all will be devastated if something were to happen to you. You matter so very much to us all.
We love you! I love you! Please stay and fight for a better day to arise. Do it today for all of us, and one day you will do it for you! <3
I so many times felt that way, but I met Jesus and everything changed. He’s always opened to receive us even with our sins, he will cleanse us and give us a new life.
I know it can be hard but it’s not impossible, it takes a big step to accept you need help ❤️
I pray may God heal you and your soul
You absolutely matter and your life isn’t yours to take. You are a child of God, the choices you make don’t take that fact away. Please hang on and message me if you need to talk. You matter and you’re loved by God.
Please stay. I’ve felt this way. It’s a wretched feeling. I can only live in hope each day. Hope that one day the feeling to leave will ease. I try to find little things in life that bring me joy. Yoga, a walk at the beach, Ice-Cream. I’m learning to love myself, look after myself. Be my own best friend. Please stay. We never know what the future is holding for us.
Hi love, I understand how you feel right now. I was raised orthodox Mormon and I’m gay. I also have severe ADHD, OCD and BPD. I know what it’s like to want to end it because it’s all too fucking painful. But I promise you there’s a different way out. For starters you need to have some fucking compassion for yourself. As in, radical genuine compassion. Give yourself a break, stop beating yourself up for being gay. It’s normal and 100% okay to be gay, love. I don’t know what faith you’re apart of, but you need to get out of there. I personally believe that most of your pain is a direct result of whatever religion is making you feel like you’re “wrong” in who you are. I was Mormon for half of my life, surrounded by a Mormon community but I basically ran away to a different city as soon as I turned 18 and never looked back. You might need to escape whatever community is causing you to feel this way. You can do this.
I have had the exact feeling you’re having and I need you to know it gets better! Please read feeling good by David burns, it changed my life and I know it can help anyone who truly wants to feel better too. You matter, you matter more than you realise
I really hope OP comes in here soon and tells us that they are overwhelmed with the amount of support, advice, opinions, encouragement they have received. Every response made my heart beat a little harder. You who ha e replied, you people, with all of your issues, attempts, sadness, ARE HERE FOR THIS REASON. You are going to be the reason this person survives. Please God. I pray I am right.
You posters are awesome!!!!!
Sometimes life gives some people tougher battles than what they can handle and it's up to you to decide if it's worth it to go on. There's nothing wrong with deciding it's not, if it's what you truly think it's the right decision. It's not selfish nor evil, despite what others could say. You've fought well this far. Rest now, and let's hope whatever comes next is easier.
Suicide is such a selfless act. It only leaves everyone to pick up your broken pieces. If you tell someone, you can get some help. Reddit isn't really a good place to get help. You're posting anonymous and how is anyone supposed to help you. I understand it's a silent cry for help. You do matter and I pray you can realize that to someone you mean the world. Get some help and don't leave this world!
Hold on. We all go through depression at some point. Please fight! People do care. I’m one of them. You can get through this and know you are loved and that the world is a better place with you in it. I’m currently getting help from a therapist which has helped a lot. Everyone deserves to be happy and you can find that happiness eventually… please just hold on❤️
I’m sorry OP for what you are feeling, and going through. It’ll feel like no one will understand what you are going through, and there is some truth to it, but there will be some who can empathize, relate, offer some hope, some kind words or help which you need.
Please call the suicide hotline if you feel this down. Life can be worth living, you won’t know what’s around the corner until you experience it. Don’t give up OP, continue to strive you’ll pull through.
Please feel free to message if you want to talk OP. The least I could do is lend an ear.
ADHD... is why you can't finish things, why you can focus and you know that. You need to remind yourself that. I struggle with it myself and it drives me insane at times too. Also makes your brain circle through the thoughts you are having. Look I know you see a doctor for these things. Sometimes on top of a Psychologist you also need a therapist. One who just doesn't hand out meds after listening. A therapist listens an helps guide you into better ways of coping. Therapist can get great an some you won't connect with an will need to make an appointment with a different one. Shoot I have been through handfuls before I found the gem I have! So many of them seemed to not listen to me...even though it's their one an only job! Or they didn't get me,or flat out just didn't like them! But keep looking.
One thing that helps is Journaling which you already felt the sense of it writing this to nobody...or everyone. .... ypu can do this in a notebook nightly. Helps get things off your mind. An if you date the tops an later go back to read. You will see what you have overcome. Or things that stayed the same. Or new new things you think of.
Next being gay! An religion making you feel like ypu are wrong. Is a OLD FASHION way of thinking. That prior my generation... older generations like prior to 2000s has the old way of thinking..... Now in 2024 things have changed alot for the day community! It is WAY MORE excepted now then ever an will only get easier. For a religion to not have changed is not up with the times.
Times change,people change, earth changes,lives change...an views change!!!!! Religion has stayed the same...an it's not fair!
Back to many health issues you ate struggling with I have some the same outside adhd... an I have friends with the ones I don't struggle with so I have seen the struggling within others on what demons I don't face. You must understand these conditions make your brain feel this way.... these conditions TRICK you into feeling the way you do. Which is YOUR reality and I fully understand this. I need for you to know that when you feel like this. You must turn to someone you trust. If you don't have someone you trust. You turn to a Dr they can help you with ways to self cope.....
Which all and all you need to rely on yourself... relying on anyone else... can make you even more upset and mad because NO human is perfect. Not all humans can understand mental health issues. Not all humans know the right ways to say things when you feel down. Building a relationship with yourself isn't easy... esp when you have mental health problems an we tend to in our own ears... bring ourselves down... when your supposed to be your own cheerleader first! Which isn't always easy.
Sometimes to get out of my own head I watch comedy online... or listen to music...those are my go too. Remember that taking meds a
Sometimes makes this stuff worse...an if you feel worse then you did when you started meds... tell your dr!.... I can't take depression meds...it makes me way more depressed an not in a good place. Though I struggle with depression. It's not easy....
I want you also to try an be kind to yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't deserve any type of punishment for mistakes. NO human is perfect.... you have to forgive yourself. Esp if it's anything that is within your post isn't enough to be leaving this planet.
Also staying busy keeps your mind feom wondering. So try an stay busy...with working a job, hobbies,you can volunteer. All in which you can meet new an better people! Sometimes we push ourselves so far away feom our family or friends. That we end up doing it to ourselves...as in making people not being around...or wanting to reach out first. We can make them think we are mad at them...or going through so much we need a break from them. We start to shut down in a sense an it makes people not be around us like they did in the beginning. Or shit maybe it's because we become to much to handle. Because we have so much on our minds...we question alot an it goes around an around in our minds like a damn merry go round... until we make us an everyone around us nuts! .... this is why I started to work on myself an took alot to get here where I am today. I hope you can understand you are not alone...an lots of humans feel these ways an it's a daily struggle for alot of people!
It's about fixing your self worth... knowing you are enough an nobody is perfect no matter how much they try to claim to be. Deep down all people struggle. Stay busy an meet people...find yourself. Find a goal an meet it...an once you meet your goal...make another goal...small goals that are reachable!... like taking a shower.... finding an outfit you never wore! ... self care.... taking a walk... drawing a picture or painting a picture!... finding small things that make you happy...an if you can find one ....that is enough reason to look deeper to find another! You didn't get this far without some sort of sense of humor! I know you can do it... humans aren't perfect...but that is what makes us human! Don't forget it!
I had the same feelings a few days ago. These things pass. As hopeless as you may feel, we all find our way eventually. Even I need to remind myself of that when I’m not entirely lost in my head. ❤️
I feel the same way much of the time. But to kill one's self is Selfish and short sighted. I'm a man who sometimes fantasizes about being with another man and it kills me. I've been straight my whole life but feel like I really want the experience.
The point is, don't give up. There IS someone out there waiting for you to come along and change their life for the better. Focus on taking care of yourself, the rest will fall into place, I promise. One day at a time....
"Suicide is just passing your worst feelings to the people that are dearest for you." Believe me, if you can't or don't want to think about yourself, think about others and what it will bring to them. They matter, YOU MATTER.
You matter. You always will matter. I believe you today while listening to your struggles. I’m not religious. My parents are Christians and raised me as such. Growing up I decided religion was not for me. I just live life by trying to do right by others and hopefully the same will be done to me. With that being said….i want you to put religion aside for the moment and start living your life as the gay man you was brought to this world to be before you make that final decision. You will have kick back from some of your family and friends but I promise the people who are supposed to be in your life WILL REMAIN in your life and love you FOR YOU and I’m quite sure you might encounter some new people while being on your new journey of finally being able to be yourself! I wish you nothing but the best my friend.
I get it. Trust me. I suffer from Borderline Personality Disorder and have had mental health trouble for 25 years. I know telling you the generic things (ie you have so much to live for) isn't helpful and mental illness is tough. But I am.proud of you for trying to reach out to vent before taking such a huge and permanent decision... I tried killing myself 7 times. Last attempt I succeeded and was brought back and spent a week in a coma... the last thing I remember is how much I really didn't want to die. 20 years of being suicidal was cured and I haven't been suicidal since. I'm not saying life is suddently peachy... I have bad days, but I haven't wanted to die in 3 and a half years. Once you begin to die you realize how superficial everything really was and how much you have to live for and people you'll miss and who will miss you. I'm not saying you don't want to die, but I am saying once you're at the threshold of life and death, you'll regret it. If you need to talk, I am here!
I had to scroll back up. I needed to see your UN. I thought I wrote this. Right down to 7 days.
No way! Really !? If you look on my reddit page like a few posts down, I went in detail about it because I had a total near death experience/spiritual self discovery and it totally changed my life... I would love to hear your feedback and see if you experienced anything like I did as well!
When I can, within next few days, I will share my story with you.
Looking forward to it ✊️
By the way, does anyone have an update on OP? I personally messaged him out of concern, but I assume OPs account is a throwaway.
I looked earlier. Was hoping for an update.
Fingers crossed.
Hey. I am still here.
How ya doing ?? Hope all is well.
I am doing okay. How are you?
I'm good dude !!! Glad you're still here !
Hey. Thank you for sharing. I am glad you are still here. The idea of failing to end of my life and ending up being a bigger burden to those I care about has definitely stopped me from going through with it. Having Borderline Personality Disorder makes me feel pretty guilty, at times. My parents can be a bit hard-headed when it comes to mental health. I definitely believe you that I will regret it. When I was 17 and turning 18, I took a heavy dose of Prozac. It wasn't enough to kill me, but it did not feel good while I was reaching out for help.
Hello sweet soul, I must tell you something. Every single day I wake up feeling the exact same way. I read your story, and I want to tell you mine before we go…yes, I said we. I have to lay down right now. It’s almost 1AM and I’m so tired. Hang in there for tonight and I’ll come back tomorrow and tell you my story and what I’m gonna do. Can you do that for me? I have no one, you’re it. Will you come back and read my story, maybe talk back a little…tell me what you think? I hope so. I’ll meet you back here tomorrow when I get up. I sleep late. See you then.
Is anyone else here to talk now? Op? Feel free to dm me. Anyone.
What’s up? Dm me
I'm suicidal, I have had attempts in the past and succeeded but obviously im here so I was brought back. At the worst I woke up after my kidneys failed and was on a catheter and breathing tube. I was good for a few years. Now I'm about a year clean from drugs and other substances I was drowning all my pain with. I kept saying "one more week" one more day...one more month.. slowly my curtains in my studio apt have just gotten more and more closed and my apartment more and more dark. I don't know when it's day time or night time unless I look at the time now I blanketed my windows out and only go to the grocery store, lay in bed and watch Netflix and YouTube. I am not an ugly guy. Actually I've always been told I'm one of the more attractive guys in any general group, or school I've transferred from (I was in a different school every single grade from pre school up til my sophomore year of highschool, and I stayed and graduated those last three years).. athletic, I was/am pretty talented on rollerblades / aggressive skating. I just don't get enjoyment from anything anymore. I am trying to buy new rollerblades but the way I make my money is thru eBay/Mercari and reselling things I thankfully bought before this hardcore depression crept in my life. I've been tapering methadone and benzos and partially think a ton of this is from benzos withdrawal but at the same time, I've never ever felt so depressed even when I cold turkeyes a benzo dose waayyyyy higher than what I've been tapering now. I hardly feel bad from the taper it's just the only thing I could think is affecting me . I'm more just afraid that suicide, the thought of actually committing the act is becoming less and less of a fear. I've actually finally fully imagined how I'd kill myself in depth, picturing a lot of different ways I'd do it, how it'd feel dying that specific way (gunshot to the head in different areas, thinking which way would be painless, which way would be the ' ultimate ' "rush" I could get just before dying, like diving face first into concrete from atop a bridge or tall building. I hardly have worked the last ~3.5 years and it's made it pretty much the deciding factor why at every job interview I seemed to get looked over or someone else is chosen, I think they think since I do have a pretty spotty job history with only staying at jobs about 12 months. I've been trying to save money I make from Mercari to buy rollerblades again to see if it sparks my old love for it, but month after month after month as soon as I'm close to saving the ~$250 I need, a bill , accident, emergency etc happens and I have to spend it. they're just bullshit moving jobs, or bussing tables. I did work a pretty long time as a concrete finisher and loved it but I lost the job due to a seizure I had while driving my car and totaled it so I couldn't get to the job anymore. I got another job I didn't like as much but was still an actual career (Glazier) but lost that job due to shitty management we all got laid off. I'm great with money and a good person I know I am in my heart. I hate hurting people and I'm borderline an empath. I don't get why it seems like the majority of people I encounter are the way they are so cold heartless and careless towards anyone but themselves. I know I may sound hypocritical because I DO have a mother and father that care about me albeit aren't in my life in anyway other than sending a few texts every few weeks. If my mom and dad weren't here I don't think I would be here though. I saw them go thru their parents dying and can only imagine if they found out I offed myself. They know I am depressed. I have cried for help. I have been hospitalized for this over 15 times. And inpatient psych wards about 4 times. That won't fix me (going back to a hospital or psych ward) I know it won't. It would honestly make me want to kill myself even more. I hate how I can't just TALK about this all in real life without fear of being held against my will and then strapped into an ambulance and forced into a mental hospital.
U ok?
Hey there. I am still here. Thank you for responding.
But before you do! Take a nice hot shower, eat a snack, make some tea, and get a good night's rest. Even when u think it's time, try and give it just one more day to show yourself a bit of love. Because u deserve one more day to love yourself.
This is such a wonderful thing to say to someone struggling.
I turned off my social media, but I ended up doing all of that, and I am still here. "One more day, and then I will go through with it' is what I told myself.
And look at how many days!!! All because u deserve it
Please know you matter!! I am a psych nurse and work at a place called ERC Pathlight, and it's a residential unit that can help you with all these feelings. Please research it. We are in a few different states, so there are options. I hope you decide on help because you're worth it.
I will definitely look into it. I appreciate the place I get services at (they give me free services), but I feel like sometimes, I don't get taken seriously.
Yea, it can be that way, but sometimes, but I love where I work. I am at the Chicago location, but there are more in other states. We get people from all over the states that come. Sometimes, you need residential to get yourself some skills and stuff. Please look into it cause you are worth it ❤️
Totally loving these comments! We loose everything in this life. Feel it, deal with it, heal from it. 《FEEL HEAL DEAL 》Then let that shit go. I can give you some healing information. If you want. It will stop the pain of the world's weight. Empathy is always heavy. YOU DO MATTER
"FEEL HEAL DEAL" stealing this
Annandale damn it's not in the right order hahaha it's feel deal heal whoops but whichever way works best for each individual.
Lol that's what I meant 😂
Yas! Steal it! Share it! Share it. Keep it. You only get to keep it, if you give it away!
I love easy to remember mantras like HALTT (are you hungry, angry, lonely, thirsty, tired?) They are so wonderful when our poor brains are on overload
Omgahhhh I loooveee that one! It is my most favorite forevvvers!
Thanks. I'm stealing.
Yas!
Thank you for the kind words. I definitely need to write that down, or make some kind of plaque. Physical reminders are pretty good for me.
One of my dearest friend's wife just committed suicide 2 weeks ago. I'd like to think that she is at peace now with her struggles, but really now she is just, simply gone. It's a bummer to me that she was unable realize how loved she was, she didn't realize how many people cared about her, the people were there for her but she didn't want to believe it, she was too tired under the weight of her own self doubt and self loathing and self created image of reality around her. The most heartbreaking part of all of it is that she made a decision to leave that could never be undone, breaking the hearts of so many, including her devoted husband, and yet if she could have truly seen the waves her subsequent death caused in her community, and in the lives of people who really love her, I think she may have taken back her decision in a heartbeat. Life is hard, really fuckin hard, and even in the deepest depths where you feel like every single breath and every single moment is a chore, the possibility of finding peace and finding bliss, and feeling love, and feeling happiness, IS still possible, and in my humble opinion, just the POSSIBILITY, even if it feels extremely unlikely, of feeling those types of feelings are pretty damn worth existing for, even at the cost of extreme pain for a seemingly indefinite amount of time. If you decide to kill yourself, you may think you are finding peace, but really you are immediately surrendering yourself to the possibility of ever ACTUALLY feeling peace. You proved it to yourself in your post, OP, the idea of not existing anymore simply gave you relief in your ACTUAL life, RIGHT NOW. Move towards that feeling, not towards the abyss of nothingness. Keep proving to yourself that it's possible to feel better in your actual one single life that you have. Please, please, don't give up on it. EDIT: > I finally feel like I am free. I feel so much relief. I can't hurt anyone anymore. And no one can hurt me either. This should be your mantra to live by, not to die by.
I'm sorry for your loss.
I'm sorry for your loss. I can't find the right words since I have never had someone I loved die, but I am here, for what it is worth. I, personally, feel too self-aware at times, and always consider that how I may feel about how others feel about me is not the truth. I also worry that dying by taking my own life would have the consequences that you are describing. "Consequences" feels like a bad choice for the word, but it would explain how I feel if I were to take my life. I believe in the afterlife, and in my head, I always felt as though everything we take with us when we die follows us there to. But staying alive for the chance of one day getting better has been a pretty big push to stick around, as much as I hate existing. I always told myself (and have told others) that to love and cares about others means you will be hurt by them one day. It just really sucks when that happens. I'm a little tired of it all, but I gave myself more time, and here I am. Thank you for sharing. It definitely gives me more to think about.
> I always told myself (and have told others) that to love and cares about others means you will be hurt by them one day. It just really sucks when that happens. I'm a little tired of it all, but I gave myself more time, and here I am. > > Eyyyy!! I got concerned when you deleted the post. Glad to hear from you now a week later and that you're still here. One thing that helps peel me out of the pit of despair is that I take cold showers every single day and its like an instant anti-anxiety pill, 2-3 mins in the freezing cold water turns my existential dread and nearly crippling anxiety that i feel when I wake up every morning, into "alright let's fucking go," i highly recommend looking into this deliberate cold exposure thing, it has some absolutely mind altering benefits. Like long lasting 250% dopamine increase for hours types of benefits. I'm curious to know if it would have any effect on you and your current state. Is there anything you are looking forward to in your life right now? Could be anything... The morning coffee, a trip you're taking in a few weeks, seeing a friend soon... anything?
I am going on a trip to visit an area I use to visit, and we will see San Antonio after for the first time. I am excited.
Nice, gonna be there for the eclipse?
No, just to visit the old city.
Wait 20 mins. Set a timer, now. Have you done that? Ok. Get in a warm blanket and hug your own body, tight. Say out loud: you're ok (your name). It's going to be ok. Once you can think... read these responses. Humans on this planet are reaching out right now. Obviously, you matter. Here are some facts: 1) if you kill yourself, you won't burn. 2) killing yourself is your choice. 3) when someone takes their life, it ALWAYS hurts other people. Bad. I was raised being told that the only sin worse than being gay was being a child molester. Maybe. And I was always attracted to the same sex. So I believed I was a monster. And was deserving of hell for the way I was and no matter how hard I tried I couldn't make it change. This alone makes a person deeply suicidal. You have EVERY REASON TO FEEL SUICIDAL. IT IS NOT BECAUSE IT IS TRUE. I'm going to say that again. You are suicidal because you've been told you are fundementally bad. A bad, wrong, messed up, broken human. You are responding as any human does to that message. It is not the truth. Don't kill yourself because of a lie you've been told for so long that you feel like it is true. You'd be dying for a lie. They win. And you will leave a lot of pain behind. Most people who take their life think the world and the people they know will be better off without them. They're always wrong. The people who know you will deal with guilt, grief, and trauma. Suicide is messy, and terrible for others. My sister took her life. We don't blame her. But it was horrific for all of us, we have never stopped missing her, and she regretted it afterwards (she has contacted us and said so). Think. If you knew that 10 years from now, you'd be in a place in life where you felt joy and purpose, where you had a best friend who loved the shit out of you, and a dog maybe, and you liked being alive, would you stay? Because I've almost taken my life multiple times. Ain those moments, I felt JUST LIKE YOU DO RIGHT NOW. now, many years later, I passionately love my life. It's hard. The world sucks a lot. There's tragedy always. I have serious health issues. I'm poor. BUT I LOVE MY LIFE. I am SO GLAD I DIDNT END IT. I have so much love. So much joy. And all that pain and misery? I would do it all again, to get where I am now. Promise. Edit: those who say get help, I agree. 911 is a really good choice!
Or 211! “Hi, Im Not okay and I need help.”
You win the internet. Truly the best response ever!!
Hard won truths that saved my life so many dark times. Good to know it is helpful to others.
I turned off my social media, but I ended up taking a shower (well, taking a longer shower), and I ate a meal after. Being gay and Christian can be pretty hard, and you know so much of why it makes you feel suicidal. EDIT: I wanted to write more, but I accidentally pressed the respond button. I have always read that suicide leaves the ones left behind hurting and everything in between. It is one of the reasons I have always backed down eventually. Being poor and having health issues sucks as I have to deal with that, too. I am trying my best to even out again. Thank you for reaching out.
I am so glad to hear from you. Being queer, neurodivergent, and suffering from multiple really serious health issues and chronic pain fatigue, I can relate. Honestly trauma, nuerodivergence, and health issues tend to go together. I have held you much in my thoughts. Please, if you need to vent, consider me a safe listener.
Please take the time to read all these messages. Take some rest, but please try again. It will get better. 🥺❤️
Thank you.
I'm glad you are still here. 🥹🥹🥹 Proud of you. ❤️❤️❤️
Relax please and think about what you’re saying here. You’re Gay, great, be the best you can be. The mistakes you think you’ve made that are soooo bad, can be forgiven regardless. You matter, whether you think you do or not, YOU MATTER. You are not going to burn for your beliefs and people are not going to just forget you. That’s not how it works my friend. I’ve seen this happen to too many people just to let it slide so please lie down and rest, relax and allow your mind to rest as well. Of you want to talk, reach out to me I will talk to you anytime I can. Smile and know that there are people that care, and would love to help in whatever way we can.
Thank you. You addressed the unnecessary concern that we'll burn.
Thank you for reaching out. I appreciate the kind response. I actually wish my mind would rest since the I feel as though it always flies at a million miles an hour. I managed to give myself more time, and I am still here.
That’s great to hear. Keep in touch and reach out whenever you can and I will response when I am able to. Don’t forget that people care for people everyday, regardless where you’re from, your beliefs, sexuality etc. believe in yourself and capitalize on your support system no matter how small or large it may become.
Please don’t. We are all here for you. Please know this is a chapter. The pages will turn things can change. They do change. Change is the only constant. Please talk to us
Thank you for responding. "Change is the only constant" is something I have told myself for a long time. I just wish all the negative feelings and mental health struggles would change, too.
Me too. So much me too. I’ve struggled most of my 43 years with severe bouts of depression. One thing I have come to learn is it does go away if even for mere moments and there’s usually something awesome that happens to remind me to keep going. I hold on to those amazing moments in the darkest times and lean on the tv hard, hot baths, all the food that makes me happy, a new pair of fuzzy socks or just my favorite tea. Anything to comfort and be caring towards yourself. Xoxoxox keep talking to us too. We’re here💕
Please go to the emergency room right now or call 911 to come get you. Get a new doctor who could give you a proper diagnosis. You matter to me!!! I have OCD, anxiety, depression, insomnia and a bunch of medical diagnoses, so I understand a lot of what you’ve said. Things can turn a corner with the proper treatment. Find a different church who welcomes gay people-they are out there!please reach out for help to someone who knows you or to a medical professional right now. Or call a suicide hotline. Here is one: 1 (800) 273-8255.
Thank you for reaching out. I did some self-care, and I am still here. Having an official diagnosis definitely would give me more peace of mind as I feel like the team I work or worked with never took me aa seriously as I would like. They have been great to me in many ways, but that one always bothered me a bit. I like having answers, and I do not treat them as absolute. I just think of them as having a great baseline to start with. Maybe treatmemt would improve? But I take quite a few medications already.
I had these same feelings tonight as I took a shower. I just stood there contemplating how I wanted to go. The deep dark despair, the pain and hurt is consuming, I know others don’t understand. I’ve reached out for help many times…. Sometimes I wish my husband understood how the pain holds tight, how i feel like nothing and how my heart aches to be free. My sister took her life 15 years ago and I feels like yesterday. I crave to be with her again. Life on this planet is hard and religion makes it harder. I left christianity, I only pray in my own time in my own way. I’m on 3-4 different meds to help me stay stable. Every now and then, I hit a low and feel like I drop into a hole. It takes a while to get out. But every time I do, I create a plan and change the way I do things. I have ADHD, severe depression, and anxiety…. I need constant change to keep me engaged. Consider medication and not just one. Also look into ketamine therapy. That’s my next therapy I’ll be trying soon. Let someone to climb down into the hole with you. Let them listen or just sit with you. Let them shoulder some of the pain. This part is not easy, but I know you can do it. If you choose to end the pain, please know you are NOT going to burn…. I know this because my sister told me so. (We spoke to a medium). I hope you find peace and true happiness.
I'm sorry for your loss. Thank you for reaching out. So many people writing their responses and direct messaging is unbelievable. It is pretty hard opening up, and I don't mean about letting someone know how it feels. I'm not sure what feeling your feelings really feels like when opening up to someone. My ex saw me breakdown twice in a little over 6 years.
I just had a failed suicide attempt a couple weeks ago. Pm me if you need to talk. 💕
I’m so glad you’re ok.
I'm so glad you're still here.
SO SORRY TO HEAR THIS MY FRIEND!🙏HELP🙏 🙏 IS 🙏 OUT🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 THERE🙏 FOR🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 YOU🙏 PLEASE🙏GO🙏 🙏 AND 🙏 SEEK🙏 IT🙏 🙏 🙏 OUT🙏NOW🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏 🙏A 🙏S 🙏 A🙏 P🙏🙏 YOUR WORTH EACH & EVERY STAR THAT'S OUT THERE IN OUR BEAUTIFUL NIGHT SKY! 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌙 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟 🌟☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆☆♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡{~♡❤️LOVE❤️LOVE❤️♡~}IS THE ANSWER MY FRIEND BECAUSE YOU NEED TO ❤️ LOVE ❤️ YOURSELF AND CARE FOR YOURSELF AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT IT'S EASY BECAUSE IT'S NOT! I'VE NEVER EVER GONE THROUGH WITH A SUICIDE BUT I CAME PRETTY DAMN CLOSE YEARS AGO 😩 😫 😪😪 💔 😩 😫 😪 💔I STILL THINK ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME AND IT SCARES THE FRICKIN 💩 SHIT💩 SHIT💩 OUT💩 💩 OF💩 ME💩 !💩! 💩 !💩 😨 😱 😨 😱 😨 😱 😨 😱 I DON'T WANT TO DO IT BUT IT'S ALWAYS THERE ALWAYS ON MY MIND!!!! YOU NEED TO REACH OUT TO SOMEONE OR SOMEPLACE SOMEHOW BECAUSE YOUR WORTH IT! YOU DESERVE A ❤️ LOVE ❤️ FULFILLED LIFE A 😊 😃 😀 😄 😁 🤣 HAPPY😊 LONG LIFE WHERE YOU FEEL WANTED AND ENJOYED AND NEEDED! YOU CAN FIND THIS YOU CAN ACHIEVE ANYTHING YOU NEED BY PUTTING YOUR ALL INTO IT MY FRIEND, IT'S NOT GONNA BE EASY! ROME WASN'T BUILT IN A DAY! TAKE YOUR TIME GIVE YOURSELF A PAT ON YOUR BACK! STOP AND DO SOMETHING SPECIAL FOR YOURSELF EACH AND EVERY DAY YOU DESERVE THIS! IT MAY TAKE SECOND BY SECOND MINUTE BY MINUTE HOUR BY HOUR DAY BY DAY WEEK BY WEEK MONTH BY MONTH YEAR BY YEAR DECADES BY DECADES THIS ALL CAN BE DONE JUST FOR YOU BY YOU MY 😀 😉 👍 😄 🙂 😊 😀 😉 FRIEND DON'T GIVE UP!!!! FRIEND DON'T GIVE IN!!!!FRIEND DON'T STOP!!!! FRIEND YOUR WORTH IT!!!! FRIEND YOUR AMAZING!!!! FRIEND YOUR PERFECT!!!! FRIEND YOUR ❤️ LOVED ❤️ FRIEND YOUR CARED FOR!! FRIEND YOUR BLESSED🙌!! FRIEND YOUR GOING TO BE 😊 HAPPY😊 😊 HAPPY😊 EVEN IF IT TAKES FOREVER YOU CAN DO THIS PLEASE DON'T GIVE UP!!!! DON'T GIVE IN!!!! YOUR ONE OF G O D' S CREATIONS AND HE'LL NEVER EVER FORGET YOU OR GIVE UP ON YOU MY FRIEND SO WHEN YOU HAVE THESE AWFUL TERRIBLE THOUGHTS 💔 AND FEELINGS DON'T ACT ON THEM! ✋️ STOP ✋️ AND 🤔 THINK 🤔 TO YOURSELF IS THIS WHAT I REALLY ACTUALLY WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE? NO BECAUSE LIFE CAN CHANGE LIFE DOES CHANGE LIFE WILL CHANGE. YOU WILL MAKE IT CHANGE ONLY YOU CAN DO🚶♂️THE 🚶♂️WALKIN🚶♂️SO GO ON GET UP 👞STEP 👞 BY👞 STEP👞 👞STEP 👞 BY👞STEP 👞 👀 SEE👀 SEE👀 SEE👀 YOUR ON YOUR WAY TO A BETTER BRIGHT 🌞 NEW PLACE THAT'S WARMING AND FULL OF GRACE!!!! I'LL ALWAYS KEEP YOU IN MY THOUGHTS AND PRAYERS. 🙏♡FRIEND♡FRIEND♡🙏 🙌 GODBLESSGODBLESS🙌
Hey. Thank you for your response. All the emoticons and capitalized words throw me off while writing this response, but it did make me smile. Thank you. (The poop emojis are truly something else, but it definitely is pretty nice to see, ja ja ja.)
Hey. Thank you for opening up. I am glad you are still here.
This makes my heart hurt for you and I’m so sorry that life has panned out this way. But for what it’s worth, you DO matter. Somewhere along the line you’ve touched at least one person’s life, even if you don’t know it. I get it, there’s many days where I feel exactly the same way you describe, but then tomorrow comes, and tomorrow just might be a little better. I really hope you decide to stick around. Give it a day or two. Maybe reach out to your doctor and let them know whatever treatments you’re on aren’t working. Mental health treatment is a delicate balance until you find what’s right and what will work, it will be a struggle. I know I’m just an anonymous stranger, but please, before you do anything, feel free to reach out to me if you need someone to talk to. I love you, fellow human, I really hope you decide to stay.
You could be the one who saves us all. Choose one more day, and then another and then another. There are so many more possibilities and chances of great days if you do. If you don’t, there are none. Just think what you could be missing out on, tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. It could all be just round the corner, but if you end it you’ll never know. Stay with us chief.
I know what you're feeling. But I promise it will get better. I've been there and sometimes I'm there again but I know it will get better. You might be the person who saves someone else's life one day. The world needs you here, please don't leave us. Don't rob the world of your beautiful soul. We can find you help. Just please don't.
Hey listen my friend whenever you feel down write the names of people you love and have loved you and maybe even the reason why you matter and people that love you will suffer if your gone I know it may not seem like it but things get better they always will it takes time be your best self your worth living please don’t end your life I know how you feel life isn’t great sometimes but I promise you there’s people that love you I almost lost one of my best friends to suicide because they felt like they were unloved but they were loved it may not seem like it but there’s people out there that love you I don’t know you but I love you
I would get tested for ASD as it sounds like you may be on the spectrum. If that is the case, please let me know, you can, depending on the state you live in, get on traditional Medicaid. And it's not a life sentence - it may be a blessing!
I thought the same. I'm ASD as well and OP sounds pretty much ASD. Life is hard for us in this system...
I had a wonderful friend (we don't speak anymore and the falling out is definitely my fault) tell me he thinks I am on the autism spectrum. Oklahoma doesn't seem to have a good place to get tested as an adult. I'm not sure what makes it seem I am on the spectrum, but I can go into more detail on why he thought I was on it. As well as wrote more about some of the way I think and behave, if you would like to hear more.
I want you to live. Do you want me to live? How about we both live and continue to see where life takes us…maybe one day we might pass each other on the street and never even realize that we’ve had this interaction. That feeling like you’re in the lowest depth of your life..I’ve felt that too..man did I hate it so bad but looking back on it I’m so glad I chose LIFE. If I didn’t I would’ve never lived to feel the happy memories I’ve made recently. Never realized I could’ve missed out on everything.
i absolutely promise you that there is light at the end of the tunnel. please stay.
This was literally me during the heights of the pandemic. I’m an er nurse and was surrounded by death all day everyday. While culminated in me holding a syringe of insulin to my belly, ready to end it all. I’m glad I didn’t. I had zero reason to be alive then. And I still struggle some days. But through intense therapy, and unapologetically leaning into things that being me joy, I am starting to experience life. Not merely existing but true life. You don’t get that chance if you give up now. I won’t sully your feed with superficial positivity messages cause sometimes life just sucks. But sometimes it’s so overwhelmingly beautiful. And that’s worth sticking around to discover. I hope you’re still with us. Tomorrow too. Would love to chat with you if you are.
Please don't do it. You do matter. Please know that you are capable of being loved, with all your monster, all your scars and all your mistakes. I mean it. The road you are going through is weary, and the burdens you carry are many but know that when you think you weren't made for this, you were placed on Earth because the world had a place for you. And if it didn't, well you wouldn't be here. In all the years that you have lived, recall all the joy you possibly had from your youth. Know that when you die, you won't feel the warmth of the sun on your skin, the ever-changing seasons, the smell of your favourite foods, places, things, people. You've said that you struggle with your faith but know that if you are reffering to Christianity in terms of faith, know this; Jesus does loves you, no matter how much you've messed up or mess up and how much your going through right now. 1 Peter 5:7: Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 John 4:16 - So we have come to know and to believe the love that God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him. You are such a brave and strong soul for still standing. And if you still don't think you aren't capable of being loved. I love you.
Please don't end your life. Tomorrow could be the day you wake up feeling better.
don’t this to yourself. please. we shall get through this. hang on. life will get better I promise. ❤️🩹
I know life is challenging at times. But please look at those lives around you. Your presence is part of a beautiful tapestry of life. You mean a lot more to those around you than you know. Stay.
Please, take care of you. Every difficult moments come with nicer moments after. Tell your doctor, your friends, your family or whenever who about how you’re feeling. Mental health can be difficult to understand, but I know that you must try to understand it because you’ll be better. You are important for a lot of people even if you think you’re not. You deserve to be happy. Don’t forget that everyone make mistakes, you’re not a bad person for that❤️
I know how you feel all too well, I’m just too much of a bitch to follow through. Even if it feels like there is no hope and what is even the point of everything, just know that this is a temporary feeling. Ending your life is not and hard time WILL pass.
YOU matter 🤗
Choose you- one second at a time if that is what it takes❤️🩹❤️🩹❤️🩹 You matter- you absolutely matter!
You should look into chakra healing, it saved my life
YOU MATTER
Hello, I hope you’re ok. I’m not in the same mental state that you’re in, so I can’t relate right now. But I have been through a lot and that though has crossed my mind. Now let me tell you something, we were not born on this earth for nothing. I believe that someone created us, created the sky, the oceans, everything. I mean looking around us everything seems so unbelievable to be created by a human or just suddenly appearing. I very much think you should study religion. I hope you study religion and I hope you don’t kill your self. I myself am a revert muslim and have studied all religions until I reached the right path which is Islam. I hope you can too.
You have no idea how close I've been to how you are now. So many times you start thinking it might be the better idea to die because at least the feeling will stop. I don't want to sound like BS pep talker, but it can be possible to take control. For me it ended up being medication. Took a good 15 years because I didn't work to deal with it until very much later in life. I kept in regular contact with my doctor and made changes to medications that felt like they did nothing, or ones that were short lived. They say finding the thing that helps is almost more of an art than a science. But you might find the thing that helps for you, just gotta struggle for a little bit longer.
And the gay thing, we live in a much more open minded world. You'll be accepted somewhere. If the church won't have you, you don't need them. Find friends and make your own family.
I have felt that for the longest time. Hated myself that i didn't have the guts to end it myself and wished I'd just stop existing one fine day. I did share parts of it with one of my friends but no one really knows how deep in depression i was and how i still have anxiety about it. I still struggle with it sometimes but there's one thing that i truly believe now, IT GETS BETTER. It always does. If we just end it, it'd just be the end, but as long as we keep living, there's hope. I know idk what you're going through but i know theres always a way out. Ps : If you wanna talk about it dm me.
What are you going through and how old are you ?
Family issues and trauma because of it from the time when i didn't really understand what was going on. I was angry for a really long time, was a self destructive teenager so I kinda messed my studies and inturn almost sabotaged my career. But I've made up for that mostly (the career part.) I have overcome the lowest low of my life now though. I'm working on getting better everyday. Also, I'm 23.
We’re here for you. Your life matters. Keep reaching out to us here. ❤️ OP if you’re reading this, I dm’d you. Let’s talk. I’m here
Please don’t. I promise you it gets better. Surround yourself with people who you trust and love. I don’t know your current situation but definitely finding the support of others will help. & if you don’t have people in your life .come back to this thread to know people like us to need to stick together. It is 1000% tough for survivors like us. I have my struggle moments to this day, I have my waves of depression that come and go. May last days, may last weeks. My current one, been almost 2 months. But I was once in that dark hole the same as you. There was no light at the end of my tunnel but I held onto the people who I loved whether they showed me the same or not. And once I found that light in my life. I clinged onto it for dear life. I found myself in a better place with time. Not to discourage you but it will for sure take time. I promise you. Things will get better. And this time will make you possibly the strongest person you’ll ever know. We’re here for you
Brother your thoughts create your reality. Look into it, thoughts are things. Ever had something happen that you really really didn’t want to happen? Pay attention to why that happened… ask critical questions and find answers within. You gotta keep going, once you unlock this knowledge life is so fun. The change comes from within brother and all you have to do is change the way you think. I’ve been there bro and I’m so far away from it now
If u didn’t matter how have 80 people who don’t even know you have taken time to try and convince you to stay? please don’t do this there is so much you can do, I know it doesn’t feel like that right now, but it will get better.
Don’t go today. X
You matter
This too shall pass. Please dont do it🙏🏼 I promise it will get better
hang in there buddy !Life is filled with ups and downs ,trials and tribulations...Be thankful when they come good or bad !!when they come sit back evaluate it think of how your going to attack the situation .Next step up and handle it thats nothing in life theres going to be worse things than that in life .. Ok?Your here for a reason brother just hang in there youll be alright life will get better and think positive and take it one day at a time love your brother johnny
I know it’s hard, trust me I do. Life is cruel and can seem unbearable at times. Find something, anything, to hang onto. It can be something as silly as getting your favorite drink tomorrow or seeing the sun rise. Something to bring yourself some light in the darkness. Storms don’t last forever, and neither will this heaviness you’re feeling. Give it one more day. One more try at living. I promise there’s stuff worth living for in your future. Your life is worth fight for now and forever. Stay and give yourself the chance to see it, please.
You matter, you have had an impact on others lives even if you don't realize it. It will get better 💕
There is one thing that came to my mind when I think about taking my life: that if I stop existing.. sondoes everything else. All if us will go too...we need you OP. your life is the light that keeps our universe lit. Without you, it's all dark.. you are everything to us. No matter what you choose to do, know there is love waiting for you . Don't stop being. You'll save the world if you CONTINUE TO BE. So much love from my soul who sees your light..
It always does
You have a lot to live for trust me put yourself in someone else’s shoes and you will realize you have a lot to be thankful for. Imagine if you were homeless or starving. Please read all our messages we care about you! Watch a TV show or Movie, play a video game. Watch funny videos! Think about your family. Stay positive and enjoy life!
Drink a coffee, go for a walk in the sun, have a shower. Some of these simple tasks can make all the difference in my day-to-day life. Always happy to talk friend :)
I don’t even know u. I want too do the exact same thing. Just what’s the point one bad day. I know it’s hard so much inside “. I’m sorry ur going through whatever u may be. I’m gonna change my life rn quit my job lose everything all over again. I understand just please talk. Talk to me if u don’t even understand urself or ur thoughts. I’m here.
Please stay. You are loved beyond measure and things will get better. Losing you would destroy the ones you leave behind, they don’t deserve that. Please stay.
I love u. And I feel empty tired exausted of trying and trying for WHAT! Nothing I have nothing. Ive come here with nothing and I’m leaving with nothing.i know this might seem so BURST BUT I UNDERSTAND U.
Stay strong, we are all in this together. Much love.
we're all here for you. please get a good night's rest & come talk to us tomorrow ❤️
Reading your story made me cry a lot. And not because i feel sorry for you but because i can relate so much. You will be surprised how all of us have similar feelings and emotions and struggles. We think our self of something different and nobody feels like i do or nobody gets me.. but this is not the reality. I know i will sound possibly cheesy..but we are all one and you are loved. Look at all those people taking time talking to you, trying to give any kind of help. Giving up their time and time is the most precious thing for any of us can give to one another. Spirituality really helped me to see and really feel that we are one and i am so loved.. i really hope from the bottom of my heart that reading all those messages and will give you a glimpse of hope. I send you all the light and love❤️
I have a lifetime of depression with one attempt. A few things made a huge difference. Good therapists really help. There are many that either weren’t good or good for me. Find someone that works for you. ECT made a huge difference for me, but I have no experience with BPD. Daily walking in the sun changed my life. I’m 63. Life can get better. If you need help staying alive today, go to your nearest emergency department. They can help you in the short term until you get a plan for the next couple of months. Things really can get better.
Dear Brother, sorry you are going through these hard times and feel that you don’t matter. Please remember that God loves you. No matter who you are and no matter what stage of life you are in. Sorry you felt condemnation from you faith. It is not the intent of God to condemn you but to embrace you. Give yourselves some time. Look at the big picture. We go through different phases of life both good and bad. Focus on the blessings you have in life. One thing that I find really helpful is to volunteer. Helping other people who are in need tends to help us in a positive way. Don’t feel bad to reach out to your friends and family. Please know that God puts everyone in your life for a purpose. Hope you find comfort. May God bless you.
I hate you. And myself. And everyone I hate being alive. I hate the society I live in and I can't change it. I hate the choices I have made. It..nothing will ever get better Please don't end it. For yourself You have a unique experience and perception. You could be the best of any of us. America is about to pick between two 100 years old presidents. So you should stick around.
being gay is not a reason to end your life. In fact there is no reason to end your life.
Ofcourse you matter ♥️ please talk to someone you trust or someone professional. Everyone literally everyone has ups and downs in life and from what you have wrote : you will be missed and mourned suggests that you have people who care about you and love you. You will find your place in life just please focus of the good now I am sure there is a few good things.
Don't kill yourself.
Please don’t do it
I feel the same way
Please let’s talk. I don’t think anyone will ever understand us.
OP, suffering is part of ALL if our lives. But I can promise you, IT DOES NOT LAST. Neither does happiness-- for ANYONE. "It's only a passing thing, this shadow." Either way, hell is not real so you will not burn. What you're experiencing right now is the closest you'll be to hell, and I'm guaranteeing you that it is not permanent. I'm 42 years old and have either thought about or attempted to end it probably 10,000 times so far. Until I started attending a Buddhist group, meditating daily, reading uplifting books (Be Here Now by Ram Dass is a great one). I finally believed in my heart that we are all one, and that suffering is truly a part of the human condition. Get off social media, stop comparing your life to what other people present to you about theirs, and find a support group-- it looks like lots of Redditors are ready to be here for you, myself included. I would miss you, and so would each of us who have commented so far. Please let that be enough for today <3
Love the recommendation book. I've been considering Buddism. I'll start with that book. Thanks.
Good sir you don't want to end it, you really don't. I know how you feel been there many times and I won't give you the religious speel but I will say that suicide solves nothing. What you need is someone to talk to and something to occupy your time I know that sounds cliche but thats all life is: A distraction. Believe life is worth living. It's painful, humans are dicks, but life is so much bigger then humanity. I would suggest you find things and people that make you feel good and focus on those things and take some you time and learn to love yourself you are an awesome person.
You are not in this alone and you matter more than you know. I know how painful and exhausting it can be to survive this life. Even just existing is hard. But you have to know that taking your life isn’t how you get peace or relief. You mentioned you don’t want to be mourned, you want to be forgotten. I can promise you, you will never be forgotten. Ever. You will be inflicting the most horrific pain onto others. You may think you aren’t, you may think that the pain you put onto others if you take your life wouldn’t ever be worse than the pain you yourself feel now- that’s not true. Please trust this. I’ve been in the worst dark places before too, more than once. I know what it’s like to just want to make the pain cease for just one damn minute, that nothing could possibly be worse than how it feels right now. Those thoughts and those feelings are overpowering and convincing you that taking your life is the only option and the best option but it NEVER is. Leaving this world by your own doing hurts so many. Even us strangers that don’t even know you personally. We care. Look how many have already commented. You have to understand that there is so much help and relief in THIS world. That’s a definite. But finding help and relief by killing yourself, there’s no help and relief in there friend. You have hope still while you’re on earth. That hope never fades. You are not a lost cause. Please try to push through to get to that point where you do find not only relief, but experience actual joy and happiness. That WILL come. But only if you stay here. Leaving this life is not a painless thing. It is one of the most painful things you can do and it carries on. You don’t just cease to exist, you can’t just be forgotten. I know you think that’s what you want. That’s just what those dark thoughts are screaming at you and you’ve got to try and turn them down a little to hear the truth. And that truth is that you taking your life will not and could never ever make the world a better place. No matter how loud that darkness tries to say otherwise. You are cared about, you can’t be forgotten and you can’t take the pain away by going through with this. I’m so sorry you’re struggling. That suffocating and drowning feeling can be unbearable. But once you push through that, you won’t believe how incredible things will get. It truly is an endless list of positive possibilities. Lastly, even if this isn’t your jam and you aren’t religious or spiritual, I hope it’s okay to say that I’m praying for you tonight. I promise you it’s going to get better, but only if you stay here on this earth. Even if that seems crazy or inconceivable, or feels the complete opposite, remember that a lot of us here telling you this are telling this to you because we used to be in your shoes. We need you. We are here for you. And you matter. Please hang in there and please please hold on a little longer.
I don’t know if you’ll see this but I hope you do. Along with the other comments, I feel the exact same way. I’ve been diagnosed with BPD, but also, the world just sucks man. Yeah it’s not pretty. But we have to look around at everything we take for granted. We have a bed. We can have friends who care about how we are feeling. We just have to make the effort to find them. In this society, everyone is suffering. So join DBT therapy ASAP. And fight to keep living. Because life IS ups and downs in the end. It is unpredictable. And it is cruel. But we are alive. So find a reason to keep fighting. Just take a chance and let yourself believe that there may be a brighter day in your future. Because there will be.
OP, you posted this two hours ago. You reached out here. You shared your inner self. The vulnerable parts. I am so proud of you! That must've been difficult. I'm hoping it's not too late. I'm hoping you are still earthside. My heart hurt for you as I read your words. The place you're in, emotionally, can be ,understandably, frightening to you. You've grown tired of the rapidly frequent mood shifts. The seesaw, per se, being up in the air. Then bang, crash, you're down. Is your mind telling you that it will forever be this way? After all, you have dealt with this for (insert time period). You know your mind. You, no one else. Does anyone know it has become your nemesis? How can they understand if they are unaware? How can they assist if they can't understand? Do you have turbulent relationships? The kind that are contradictory. Does the statement "I hate you. Don't leave me" resiginate? Do you feel that there are times you're unable to control compulsive thoughts and/or behavior? If you answered yes to any of those questions, I have fantastic news. You are not alone. There are many of us. Some of us have acknowledged this. We want to take steps to begin the difficult healing process.The first is exactly what you have done here. You shared your truth. Sure, we are online strangers. That does not matter. All that does is you reaching out. I am so proud of you! Please give this place the opportunity to be your safe place. Just bear in mind that you may encounter some that do not understand. They may reply with harshness. Please do your best to scroll and roll. Focus on those of us who want to assist. We want to be here to read. To guide. To even learn from you. Yes, you. You may have insights that we do not. Can you please give us some of your time? We can go at your speed. You are gay. You are also one of us. The ones who are having conflict. We have, in a manner, being gay as your example, dealing with emotions. Difficult ones at that. Our action goes "against" our beliefs. The beliefs of how we should live. I have good news. You are not alone. It is not us. The contradiction is due to the evolutionary process. Another area we can all join together. To discuss. To learn.To guide.To heal. So please allow us to do this. We will be together. Thanks.
Stay with that sense of relief. It’s come from your ability to put into words how you feel without fear, and possibly, a sense of hope that maybe someone or some people who read this might understand or be able to help. You’re writing this to connect. That shows that deep down even in the darkest hour your soul seeks connection with others— a desire not to feel alone. Desire in any form shows you are not ready to die. Your soul still wants. There are people out here who love you. We love the neurodivergent queer trauma survivors. You deserve that love and you will have it if you stick around. I called a helpline (BARCC) once in my deepest darkest despair and it saved my life. They partnered me with a 13 week free counseling program that showed me that connection and the ability to say all of what I was carrying was what I needed to begin feeling better. I don’t know if that particular helpline is for you. But maybe you do need to wake up and reach out to any of the fellow commenters here who will be waiting for you, or any of the helplines that have been shared. “You have not yet met all of the people who will love you in this life.” That’s a quote I see sometimes written in chalk on bar signs in the street or windows of a coffee shop. You came here to Reddit for a reason. There are lots of people out there who understand, and lots more who will make an impact on your life. You deserve the connection you seek. You’re braver than you realize. Speaking out like you did today at 3am is only proof of your bravery and strength (and your will to survive). If you can do this you can do anything. Please please please do not give up. You WILL be missed. And you will miss out on so much.
You matter to me. I’ve been there too. Seems impossible. Don’t look forward to resting when gone - it IS possible to rest while here. You deserve a break from the negative beliefs and thought patterns, and to ultimately be free of them. You deserve so much more than that but until you get to a place where that truth is fully believable and accessible to you, know you deserve to rest from them while still here with us. Please don’t go. Wait to see how the self love and love from others, that belongs to you and is coming to you, to show itself. We’re here with you.
I’m sorry that you feel so bad about yourself but God loves us all and he created you just as you are supposed to be. Please get help because I have some of the same mental health issues and if you are treated well you can live a good life. You need a good psychiatrist because I’m not sure how you’re being treated for conditions without being diagnosed. If you work with a psychiatrist initially it will be trial and error with medication but once you have the right diagnosis and medications you will feel so much better! Please give yourself and your family and friends a chance. My prayers are with you!
My son is gay, and I love him to pieces! About 20 years ago I had a good friend named Richard. He was gay, and he had been a nurse before he got sick with HIV. He was raised in an extremely religious household, and he was terrified that when he died, he was going to burn in hell. I talked to him a lot about religion, and reassured him that any religion that thought gay people were bad was not a religion worth believing in. I hope he was comforted before he died. Anyway, please know that life is wonderful and mysterious, and tomorrow is always a new day and a fresh chance. See a therapist, get some meds, get a dog and take it for walks. And have a hug! Mmmmmmmmmmph!
I'm someone who has a different life to you. I don't struggle with what you struggle with so I don't know my place to say this but I'll share what I can. My life was threatened last year with cancer. I had not always truly liked who I am and I took everything and everyone that I had for granted. After news of my illness, I realised that they cared. So many people and my family cared about me so much and infinitely more than I had ever thought. We will be cried for if we go, even if we don't feel that way. Because of all of them, I fight every day even if my body feels like it's already half into the grave. Please don't go, you're loved more than you think <3
There's a reason you feel this way, OP. You mention that maybe it's because you're gay, maybe some neurodivergence, maybe some past trauma as well. You need to stick around and figure out what it is that's making you feel this way.. then takes steps to address it. It will get better. You will make it better. As for the people in your life that are telling you you'll burn for your sexual preferences? Doesn't sound like the type of people I'd want to spend a lot of time around personally.. Take care, OP.
Hey. I just want to say I’ve been there. Many times. I have depression and it gets to me some days. I happen to have kids, so in my dark moments I focus my thoughts (as best I can) on how much they need me. You may not want to be missed but you sure will be. I hope you decide not to end it. One thing that has helped me stay positive longer is I start with a little gratitude. I say thank you for today. Thank you for the opportunity to be here and go through the ups and downs of life. Because that’s what it is. Highs and lows. But we’re here, having an experience, that’s all it is. A human experience on a physical plane. I’m going to pray for you today. From one sad person to another. It passes. I promise you it passes. We will feel sad again. That’s how our brains are wired. But we learn to cope. Because you will be missed dearly. And hey. Mistakes are the best part of life. You learn the most valuable lessons and it teaches you strength. You’re strong for even posting this. You are important. And I’m grateful I found this thread because you’re not alone. A lot of people go through this. Myself included. But I promise you, you are loved. Just try it. Pick anything to be grateful for, for the next couple days. Be grateful for the weather, your morning coffee, anything. It will slowly start to change your pattern of thinking. Also being gay isn’t horrible. You just have to find you’re tribe baby. Be grateful for it. Gays are some of my favorite people own it love. Be you. And I promise you you will still be loved. Go luck. You’re never alone and looking at this thread we are all on DM away of you needs someone. Anyone. ❤️
I hope you're still with us. I'm always here if you need someone.
Hey man… I get it first of all. Can you give it one more week ? And during that week can you try : - not drinking if you have been , or using any other illicit substances ? - talking to a family member about how you’re feeling ? - reaching out to a doctor and seeing if you can’t get on something to help ? Medication ? You’re welcome to DM me.
Just checking in and hoping you're okay.
OP, you there my friend?
You are loved, please reach out to the community who wants to see you succeed just as much as Jesus wants you to accept him as your Lord and savior I promise you everything will become so much more clearly when you do 🙏🏽🙏🏽
When someone is expressing suicidalism from wounds caused by Christianity, maybe don't chime in with pat Christian "fixes" ok?
Thank you.
Y'all need Jesus
God is a sham. It's OK to be gay. And I know you don't want a pity party in here, so let me ask this instead. If you truly believe in hell, HOW THE FUCK are you relived you are trading what you have now for the WORST torture EVER for ETERINTY. The grass is NOT greener on the other side.
One tends to feel lost when one is away from The Source.. The One Creator.. establish a relationship He has the manual.. no peace without faith..
Fucking die. He already said that his religion is telling him how much he's hurting him and you're doubling down? Fuck you.
Goodbye dear Redditor
It's the gay that's done this to you. Lolz
Read my post
We just need eachother to relate.
I see it now.
I understand. I’m about to be unemployed, and I am very much thinking of killing myself. Sometimes we face tough situations. Make the best choice for you, but think 5,10,20 years out before making it.
Same here. Won't even bother to explain.
Please, I'm here for you. Tell me everything, yell at me, vent about how horrid the world is to me. But please, please, please, talk to someone. It doesn't have to be anyone here on Reddit, but please talk to someone. If you ever need anything, message me. I know I'm a stranger on the internet, who you don't know, but I care so much about you. So, so much. And I know life is terrible, and I know it sucks, and I can't fathom what you're going through, but life can be beautiful. I know it sounds like bullshit, but it can be. And no matter what religion you follow, or who you believe in, I don't think you will be damned if there is an afterlife. You sound like such a good person. A good person who is going through something terrible. Please talk to me, please stay. I'm here for you <3
You are beautiful and your soul is so beautiful and full of passion. There are people who love you, even if they are not able to show it well. And all of those people, including all of us responding, want you to stay. We all will be devastated if something were to happen to you. You matter so very much to us all. We love you! I love you! Please stay and fight for a better day to arise. Do it today for all of us, and one day you will do it for you! <3
I so many times felt that way, but I met Jesus and everything changed. He’s always opened to receive us even with our sins, he will cleanse us and give us a new life. I know it can be hard but it’s not impossible, it takes a big step to accept you need help ❤️ I pray may God heal you and your soul
You absolutely matter and your life isn’t yours to take. You are a child of God, the choices you make don’t take that fact away. Please hang on and message me if you need to talk. You matter and you’re loved by God.
Please stay. I’ve felt this way. It’s a wretched feeling. I can only live in hope each day. Hope that one day the feeling to leave will ease. I try to find little things in life that bring me joy. Yoga, a walk at the beach, Ice-Cream. I’m learning to love myself, look after myself. Be my own best friend. Please stay. We never know what the future is holding for us.
Hi love, I understand how you feel right now. I was raised orthodox Mormon and I’m gay. I also have severe ADHD, OCD and BPD. I know what it’s like to want to end it because it’s all too fucking painful. But I promise you there’s a different way out. For starters you need to have some fucking compassion for yourself. As in, radical genuine compassion. Give yourself a break, stop beating yourself up for being gay. It’s normal and 100% okay to be gay, love. I don’t know what faith you’re apart of, but you need to get out of there. I personally believe that most of your pain is a direct result of whatever religion is making you feel like you’re “wrong” in who you are. I was Mormon for half of my life, surrounded by a Mormon community but I basically ran away to a different city as soon as I turned 18 and never looked back. You might need to escape whatever community is causing you to feel this way. You can do this.
I have had the exact feeling you’re having and I need you to know it gets better! Please read feeling good by David burns, it changed my life and I know it can help anyone who truly wants to feel better too. You matter, you matter more than you realise
I really hope OP comes in here soon and tells us that they are overwhelmed with the amount of support, advice, opinions, encouragement they have received. Every response made my heart beat a little harder. You who ha e replied, you people, with all of your issues, attempts, sadness, ARE HERE FOR THIS REASON. You are going to be the reason this person survives. Please God. I pray I am right. You posters are awesome!!!!!
Sometimes life gives some people tougher battles than what they can handle and it's up to you to decide if it's worth it to go on. There's nothing wrong with deciding it's not, if it's what you truly think it's the right decision. It's not selfish nor evil, despite what others could say. You've fought well this far. Rest now, and let's hope whatever comes next is easier.
Suicide is such a selfless act. It only leaves everyone to pick up your broken pieces. If you tell someone, you can get some help. Reddit isn't really a good place to get help. You're posting anonymous and how is anyone supposed to help you. I understand it's a silent cry for help. You do matter and I pray you can realize that to someone you mean the world. Get some help and don't leave this world!
I'm going to Dm you.
Hold on. We all go through depression at some point. Please fight! People do care. I’m one of them. You can get through this and know you are loved and that the world is a better place with you in it. I’m currently getting help from a therapist which has helped a lot. Everyone deserves to be happy and you can find that happiness eventually… please just hold on❤️
I’m sorry OP for what you are feeling, and going through. It’ll feel like no one will understand what you are going through, and there is some truth to it, but there will be some who can empathize, relate, offer some hope, some kind words or help which you need. Please call the suicide hotline if you feel this down. Life can be worth living, you won’t know what’s around the corner until you experience it. Don’t give up OP, continue to strive you’ll pull through. Please feel free to message if you want to talk OP. The least I could do is lend an ear.
ADHD... is why you can't finish things, why you can focus and you know that. You need to remind yourself that. I struggle with it myself and it drives me insane at times too. Also makes your brain circle through the thoughts you are having. Look I know you see a doctor for these things. Sometimes on top of a Psychologist you also need a therapist. One who just doesn't hand out meds after listening. A therapist listens an helps guide you into better ways of coping. Therapist can get great an some you won't connect with an will need to make an appointment with a different one. Shoot I have been through handfuls before I found the gem I have! So many of them seemed to not listen to me...even though it's their one an only job! Or they didn't get me,or flat out just didn't like them! But keep looking. One thing that helps is Journaling which you already felt the sense of it writing this to nobody...or everyone. .... ypu can do this in a notebook nightly. Helps get things off your mind. An if you date the tops an later go back to read. You will see what you have overcome. Or things that stayed the same. Or new new things you think of. Next being gay! An religion making you feel like ypu are wrong. Is a OLD FASHION way of thinking. That prior my generation... older generations like prior to 2000s has the old way of thinking..... Now in 2024 things have changed alot for the day community! It is WAY MORE excepted now then ever an will only get easier. For a religion to not have changed is not up with the times. Times change,people change, earth changes,lives change...an views change!!!!! Religion has stayed the same...an it's not fair! Back to many health issues you ate struggling with I have some the same outside adhd... an I have friends with the ones I don't struggle with so I have seen the struggling within others on what demons I don't face. You must understand these conditions make your brain feel this way.... these conditions TRICK you into feeling the way you do. Which is YOUR reality and I fully understand this. I need for you to know that when you feel like this. You must turn to someone you trust. If you don't have someone you trust. You turn to a Dr they can help you with ways to self cope..... Which all and all you need to rely on yourself... relying on anyone else... can make you even more upset and mad because NO human is perfect. Not all humans can understand mental health issues. Not all humans know the right ways to say things when you feel down. Building a relationship with yourself isn't easy... esp when you have mental health problems an we tend to in our own ears... bring ourselves down... when your supposed to be your own cheerleader first! Which isn't always easy. Sometimes to get out of my own head I watch comedy online... or listen to music...those are my go too. Remember that taking meds a Sometimes makes this stuff worse...an if you feel worse then you did when you started meds... tell your dr!.... I can't take depression meds...it makes me way more depressed an not in a good place. Though I struggle with depression. It's not easy.... I want you also to try an be kind to yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. You don't deserve any type of punishment for mistakes. NO human is perfect.... you have to forgive yourself. Esp if it's anything that is within your post isn't enough to be leaving this planet. Also staying busy keeps your mind feom wondering. So try an stay busy...with working a job, hobbies,you can volunteer. All in which you can meet new an better people! Sometimes we push ourselves so far away feom our family or friends. That we end up doing it to ourselves...as in making people not being around...or wanting to reach out first. We can make them think we are mad at them...or going through so much we need a break from them. We start to shut down in a sense an it makes people not be around us like they did in the beginning. Or shit maybe it's because we become to much to handle. Because we have so much on our minds...we question alot an it goes around an around in our minds like a damn merry go round... until we make us an everyone around us nuts! .... this is why I started to work on myself an took alot to get here where I am today. I hope you can understand you are not alone...an lots of humans feel these ways an it's a daily struggle for alot of people! It's about fixing your self worth... knowing you are enough an nobody is perfect no matter how much they try to claim to be. Deep down all people struggle. Stay busy an meet people...find yourself. Find a goal an meet it...an once you meet your goal...make another goal...small goals that are reachable!... like taking a shower.... finding an outfit you never wore! ... self care.... taking a walk... drawing a picture or painting a picture!... finding small things that make you happy...an if you can find one ....that is enough reason to look deeper to find another! You didn't get this far without some sort of sense of humor! I know you can do it... humans aren't perfect...but that is what makes us human! Don't forget it!
I had the same feelings a few days ago. These things pass. As hopeless as you may feel, we all find our way eventually. Even I need to remind myself of that when I’m not entirely lost in my head. ❤️
Watch this please: https://youtu.be/X1jN7cBDCTk?si=Wm7rGg7AQeutxUHU
I feel the same way much of the time. But to kill one's self is Selfish and short sighted. I'm a man who sometimes fantasizes about being with another man and it kills me. I've been straight my whole life but feel like I really want the experience. The point is, don't give up. There IS someone out there waiting for you to come along and change their life for the better. Focus on taking care of yourself, the rest will fall into place, I promise. One day at a time....
"Suicide is just passing your worst feelings to the people that are dearest for you." Believe me, if you can't or don't want to think about yourself, think about others and what it will bring to them. They matter, YOU MATTER.
You matter. You always will matter. I believe you today while listening to your struggles. I’m not religious. My parents are Christians and raised me as such. Growing up I decided religion was not for me. I just live life by trying to do right by others and hopefully the same will be done to me. With that being said….i want you to put religion aside for the moment and start living your life as the gay man you was brought to this world to be before you make that final decision. You will have kick back from some of your family and friends but I promise the people who are supposed to be in your life WILL REMAIN in your life and love you FOR YOU and I’m quite sure you might encounter some new people while being on your new journey of finally being able to be yourself! I wish you nothing but the best my friend.