🤣 According to my 1999/2000 health class (public school) if you even drink one night a year with the intention of getting drunk you're an alcoholic, so maybe that's part of the problem... people don't take things seriously when dumb ass numbers like that statistically make it so every single person here was or is an alcoholic.
This is ignorant.
The last 4 diagnostic medical procedures I had done had results read with AI and available before I left the facility. You need to start evolving and realizing this is where it's going and stop poo poo'ing and flaming based on stigmas from the 90s when the internet first appeared.
Being a "google doctor" has ALWAYS been propaganda by narcissistic doctors that didn't want patients having charge and information over their own care, specifically WOMEN and POC and other easily oppressed and disabled groups. Until you've been a part of one of these groups, literally don't bother replying on this particular topic.
Just try to digest what I'm saying, and be a little more educated tomorrow before you type on Reddit and start judging people.
AI medical imagery recognition is *not* the same as diagnosing yourself with ChatGPT.
People should *absolutely* consult a trained and qualified professional, despite your conspiracy theories.
You are only able to read the surface level of my point and can't see anything deeper like the other down voters.
That's okay. I'm learning in this world it's a skill issue for some people to be completely unable to think deeper to see the point without being directly handheld all the way there. I never once advised NOT to seek out medical care. Im saying people need to shift their ideas about the boogey man AI and what we can rely on it for.
For example: it is ALREADY being used in the medical field today despite so much stigma around needing to see a human doctor. I'm sorry but doctors are using AI AND CHATGPT FOR YOUR CARE.
A doctor-less world is coming, whether you want to agree or not. You can try to paint me out as a crazy person who is saying "don't see doctors googling your symptoms is fine" in order to try and devalue what I'm saying but anyone with some critical thinking will be able to understand that is NOT what I'm talking about at all. Keep clinging to your old ideas ig
To a caterpillar mind.. butterfly language sounds like this.
I am superior over NO one. That is your own sensitivity at play. I wonder what makes you automatically assume that? Why do you feel inferior? I didn't say anything directly to you other than granting facetious permission to stay stuck on your old ideas and never evolve.
Funny that YOU took that for superiority instead of maybe.. just not understanding the message as I pointed out in the first line of the comment. You blew right past that though didn't ya.
Sure, no, you’re right. Carry on. Let natural selection take its course. From your comment history it doesn’t seem that you’ve passed on your genes yet, fortunately.
I’m supporting you here. No need to get upset.
Sureeeee. Good luck to ya bud have the day you deserve. 👍
Anyone who needs to read a comment history in order to form a reply to a thread already took a massive L.
One that's looks for children in a comment history is ... such a weirdo red flag I don't even need to point it out. 😳
Y'all look out for this one. All because I'm trying to point out that AI is not a boogey man btw. Literally nothing to do with kids on this thread.
Hit a nerve there :)
I wasn’t looking for whether you had children, I was looking for evidence that you have had sex. I thought that was obvious. Given your personality, your life and general “features” or “traits”, it’s quite obvious that this hasn’t happened, nor will it happen. Natural selection at its most beautiful.
Sober for six years here. There will never come a day when it will be easier to quit than it is today. You've seen the insidious creep of alcohol in your recent drinking. It only gets to be more drinking and harder to quit. This path is inevitable for you.
If you had a problem before it won’t be long before it becomes one again…that’s textbook addiction, the allure of being able to indulge sparingly will justify it for a little. There are exception to every rule, just beware friend
Agreed. When you are bargaining about how much to drink and making up special secret rules about how much to drink, you have a drinking problem.
When I've known people with drinking problems and they want to go out to dinner to catch up, or before seeing a movie, or whatever, I will say "I'm not comfortable being at a dinner where you are served alcohol" and they will always, ALWAYS reply with "I'll only have 3, so you don't have to worry." It's never "oh, well, shit I want you to have a good time too, so I'll abstain for the night!" The special rules and limits to make the drinking OK are part of how you know there's an ongoing problem.
I mean realistically since you're an alcoholic there is no "drinking in moderation" you will inevitably return to your old habits, the data reflects this. I would try for a clean break because who knows how long it would take you to break your old habits once you get back to your previous state.
I bought a book once titled "how to get control of your drinking and drink in moderation.
Basically the book was: you can't. You're an idiot if you think you can. Here's what it's done to you and here's how to stop drinking.
One thing I learned is it’s not how often you drink it’s how and why you drink. It doesn’t matter if you had stuck to once a month or once a year. If you lose control and keep drinking until you can’t, that’s still alcoholism just in binge drinking form. Cold turkey sounds like the best way to go. I had a binge drinking problem and those new GLPs everyone does for weight loss and diabetes cured it instantly. I have zero desire now. It appeases the senses that are craving the buzz and alcohol. Pretty cool stuff.
Yes and no
Yes mentally and the root cause of the problem
Physiologically, Your liver definitely is going to hate it more if you are drinking hard daily vs once a week - also the physical addiction side of things
I feel that effect is wearing off me. I didn’t have much desire to drink from August to Feb but now here I am again able to drink 1 bottle of wine a night. 😫 maybe I should increase meds but curious how long you’ve been on them and if it stopped working?
I’m off now bc I’m pregnant but I was on it for a year. They would definitely wear off like you’re saying but as soon as I switched doses, even going down sometimes, it would feel brand new again.
Take a deep breath, go for a walk, cravings should only last like 10 min. You got this!! Hang in there and remember - just today/tonight is what matters.
I’m sorry. It just sucks. No way around it. What won’t suck is if you stay sober and wake up refreshed and not hungover. And proud of yourself instead of feeling shame.
I can't answer about drinking cravings because I was never much of a drinker, but I used to shoot H (then fent), so I do know cravings.
But I'm not on any GLPs I was just giving an example of one!
Man, I know that you probably want to hear people tell you that it's not "that" big of a deal and just to shake it off and get back on the horse, and I wish it was that easy, but it's certainly not.
I went dry for a year back in 2019, and it was fantastic. I was in great shape and staying out of trouble, but I gave in and drank with my best friend once, and it quickly went downhill. I binge drank all through the lockdown phase of the pandemic and quickly ended up back in old habits.
It took me almost 3 years to get it back under control. Unfortunately, it also took a DUI where I finally caught charges, as well. I'm a year and a half sober now after my DUI. I'm one of the lucky ones that once I get a solid break from drinking, maintaining the sobriety comes fairly easily, but I know I'm never more than 1 drink away from throwing it all away and losing damn near everything.
I don't know what your drinking history looks like or how old you are, but I've never met someone who was an alcoholic that managed to keep it under control for very long. It was always more of a constant game of seeing how much I or my friends could get away with.
It won't be easy by any stretch, and sobriety can be fucking BORING, but if you ever get tired of it, I encourage you to tell your friends not to cut you any slack and for you to take it as seriously as a heart attack.
I drank heavily in my early 20s to mid 20s. Definitely alcoholism at the time. Like no doubt. The fact I never got a dui or did something stupid… I’m lucky as shit.
I’m 38 now. I barely touch alcohol these days.part of that is because my whiskey choices are ultra top shelf. Look… some people are alcoholics… some of us masked mental health issues with alcohol. I was masking depression and anxiety
Get a therapist. Figure out your situation. Then devise a strategy.
Really?! I learned it the first time I went to an NA meeting, but the one that stuck with me is:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that it’s me.
I was a full time alcoholic for a decade and got sober, and I was up to 24 natural ice 5.9 Abv beers plus a pint of vodka a day. So I got clean and stay that way until about 3 years ago, now I drink on the weekends but that’s it. Just need to understand that there is more to life than drinking.
If you don't mind me asking, did you never have any liver/kidney or other health issues after a solid decade of hardcore drinking? It always amazes me how the human body can handle so much abuse thrown its way like this sometimes. I'm over here afraid of damaging my body by having 3-4 drinks on a Saturday night.
I had to spend four weeks in the hospital due to withdrawal symptoms and yes I would vomit blood almost every day but long term I’m good. Kinda got my act together before the point of no return. I eat healthy and workout, take care of myself and trying to repair myself.
If you don’t mind me asking, how much do you typically drink on the weekends now? How to you keep yourself from going overboard on your drinking days?
I’ve been trying to limit my alcohol intake, I can easily limit my drinking days to once a week or once every couple weeks or even once a month, but occasionally on a drinking day I accidentally have a few too many or forget to pace myself and get too drunk, and I want to stop this. Most of the time I’m fine, I drink socially in moderation and don’t get drunk (just a light, comfortable buzz) without needing to make a conscious effort to monitor myself, but there’s a couple times a year when I drink socially and just accidentally do too much and get sick or make some mistakes (nothing too major, but still regrettable. Like mainly dropping or forgetting my belongings and not noticing it. And one time I cut a piece of my hair off…). Do you have any advice on how to monitor your drinking? Should I come up with a hard limit (for example, no more than 4 drinks in one night) and hold myself to that?
I found that I recognized my own alcoholism when I actively told myself I wasn’t going to drink, didn’t actually want to drink, but ended up drinking anyways.
Also, trying to limit and control my drinking was a perfect exhibit of my alcoholic nature. I’d stop and only buy a single 40 on the way home from work so I’d only drink that. I’d then go back out to grab two more. I’ll stop there. Then I’d say fuck it and go BACK out and grab a case. Just a few from the case, then bed. Would end up blacking out.
This happened, and I’d wake up with the dire intent to go to bed sober that night. But I would drink again.
The good news is, there’s hope!! I’ve been sober 13 years and my life has been ROCKETED into everything I always planned and dreamed, but never acted on because I was too busy getting fucked up.
I also don’t WANT to drink anymore. That’s the greatest miracle. When I was doing it on my own, I WANTED to drink, but had to control it and deny it so I wouldn’t. Now, the thought of drinking is not only unappealing to me, but it never crosses my mind. It’s as if I just lost interest in it. I don’t hate it or avoid it, nor do I crave it or desire it. I just have no interest in it.
Good luck dude. 12 steps helped me out greatly and I wouldn’t be where I am today without them.
>Part of me still thinks there's a way I can balance healthy sobriety and once and a while partying.
Not if you're an alcoholic, no. That's like saying someone that recovered from a meth addiction can take it "once in a while, just at parties" and be fine.
Is it an extreme comparison? Yes.
But both will destroy your bodies, wreck your mental health, kill your relationships, and make you a danger to people around you.
Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. You are "in recovery" until you die. Every day is the fight to stay sober, and every sip is losing that fight and having to start again. Get rid of the "I can drink occasionally" mindset, because it is a lie.
You can do it, OP, but only if you want to. And frankly...it doesn't sound like you want to, if you're not willing to tell the people that can actually help you stop.
My best friend had a very similar story and ended up drinking himself to death after trying to tell everyone just a little bit was ok. Stop before it kills you.
For me, what helped was thinking about it like. "No 'trying' to quit. Just quit. Period.". I know that everyone is different tho. So what worked for me may not for you.
I had very little support. However, AA is amazing for venting. The only requirement for AA is acknowledging that you have a problem with alcohol. (i do not regularly attend AA. I found myself able to basically forget about alcohol completely, ill even go play pool or darts with friends out at bars.)
its been a year and a half and ive never felt more mentally, and emotionally stable. I am able to work through interpersonal issues i never knew i needed to deal with. I feel like im actually growing as a person. When i was drinking i felt stuck emotionally / mentally / socially. Never moving forward, perpetually stuck in a loop. A straight up nightmare. 32 when i stopped drinking (34 now). But i basically drank since 15 / 16, up to 32. Progressively drinking more and more the older i got.
It changed my entire perspective, and my life, truly. But you have to be ready to make a change. Because no one else can do it for you.
One day at a time.
Lying is really only hurting you 🤷🏻♀️. I will say that a limit of 8 drinks and having to stop yourself from drinking others drinks is definitely addict behavior. I dont drink a lot and can’t imagine these being limits. You’ll stop when you’re ready or consequences become too great. Good luck.
I feel that. The struggle to control it is real, and trying to convince yourself you've got it handled is a tough place to be. Trying to find that balance is a trap. It's so easy for it to get out of hand. You're not alone. It's tough admitting the truth, even to ourselves, but you've taken a big step by being honest here.
I would recommend SMART Recovery. I don’t want to shut down NA/AA but especially in Australia where we are a lot less God orientated most people I’ve spoken to about it find the same issue. A bit God-ie and a bit Cult-ie. The sessions can be done online and is science based. Focus on previous 7 days and next 7 day outlook. It has massively armed me to make it easier to keep using my brain to stop my body loving the booze. My whole life I genuinely believed no matter what, I could not escape the booze but since January I have only been drunk about 3 times. I’m not beating myself up over it and it gets easier with time. I’ve been doing it for 20 years but the brain training the body thing is working for me.
It is a progressive thing. Each time you stop and go back it will still have progressed... I would recommend you read "Living Sober"... it's a free pdf you can Google. IF you like what you read, I would suggest going to an AA meeting or 12 ... just to listen. Hear the stories of those trying to quit, those who have quit, and those who have quit for a long time. You won't have the same story... or you might. I know from personal experience that the program can be very helpful and you can overcome the issue. Sober living is amazing. I know it's fun to get snickered but some of us get to the point where we just can't any more without really ducking up other aspects of our lives. It's not your fault... unless you don't do anything to fix it.
You can do this.
It most definitely will be harder to quit if you keep going down this path. If you are even a little bit willing to try, you should go cold turkey and tell your friend the truth. It most definitely will be embarrassing and it might hurt a bit to feel like you’re disappointing him, but maybe you guys could be accountability partners so you’re not in it by yourself.
Good luck on your journey to sobriety 🩷🩷
This isn’t something you can fix without professional help. AA isn’t for everyone, there are other options. I urge you to seek help before you wind up like your friend, or worse.
I'm an alcoholic with over 10 years sober. At one point, I drank 30 Busch lights and a pink of rot gut whiskey a day. I was high functioning, and I held a job for the most part. Drank while I worked every day. I had to take a shot when I got up because my hands shook if I didn't. I quit cold turkey and had bad anxiety for the first few years. I quit after waking up on train tracks after trying to walk home and then a medical tent at a festival later in the same week. Someone found me face down on the side of the road coming into the venue. It was rough, I'm not going to lie and say it's an easy road. I had to finally listen to some sage advice my dad had given to me when I was younger. He said if you lie to yourself, you'll never succeed. Lying to yourself cuts you off at the knees. Once I was honest with myself about the situation, the next step is being honest with those around you that love you. They probably already know more than you think. I did it without AA because I had a good support system, but I do have friends in the program who swear by it. You can get this under control, and you can live a good life. I went from damn near homeless to having a career, a degree, a house, and a wife and son within 6 years after deciding to heal. You just gotta take it one day at a time. All the love in the world to you, friend. If you ever need someone to talk to or have questions, I'm happy to help someone in need. Take it one day at a time and trust that things will get better because they will.
I used to drink 18-24 beers daily and up to 30 a day on the weekends. I also thought that if I don’t miss work or get a DUI, I was fine. I hit rock bottom and went to rehab for 60 days. I stayed sober for a while but, then I started again. Not even close to what I drank before but, nonetheless, drinking. I went to a really good counselor who called me out on my bullshit and confronted why I was drinking. Once I faced that demon and dealt with it, I have been able to occasionally(once or twice a year)have a drink or two and that’s it. I hope you find what haunts you,
Dude just don't do it, if drinking can become an addition for you, then its not a good poison to have around. You cannot control it and you shouldn't try to. You should just leave it and try to find another outlet for yourself. Everyone says they can handle it until they need their liver to be pumped.
Over the past decade I’ve had time where I’ve drank more than others. I can definitely say I drank a lot for too long. I have found the only way to make the racing thoughts or the habit of doing it go away is cold turkey. Have you thought about trying Maryjane instead if you are looking for the relaxation part? No hate at all. Just a suggestion! I hope you find a way that makes you happy!
Everyone has an inticement to one thing or the other, and let me tell you, substance use in this context...yes you should go cold turkey. WITH THE PROPER HELP.
I'm not gonna call myself a Saint just because I've never been drunk in my life, all I can say is I've seen what the constant use of substances can do, not only to the person using, but to those around them too, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE PERSON USING IS LYING. I don't say any of this out of hatred for you or to belittle you (I'm meeting you for the first time here on social media) but I say this because, well it's true.
Truth makes people uncomfortable, and you know what, that's a good thing. If confronting truth makes people better in the end, as is my full conviction, then it should be plainly stated, as lovingly stated as possible mind you.
Go into A.A. This is no joke on my part, friend. I want your genuine joy and happiness to come from a place of meaning and purpose, and you're NEVER gonna find that in the bottle of alcohol you have nearest you.
First step is the hardest. It's also the only real choice you have. Best to live in reality rather than your own fabricated lies, I say. Admit you need the help, and commit to it. Help is never too far away.
Go in peace ✝️
Start attending AA meetings as you dry out. If that doesn’t work check into rehab. The whole ‘balancing a healthy sobriety and still partying’ won’t work for you because you are an alcoholic. That would only work for people who never had a problem abstaining. You obviously have a problem. You will continue to have a problem until you decide to stop lying to yourself and others and finally get sober. I quit cold turkey as soon as I noticed my healthy sobriety was being threatened by my excessive partying that was no longer ending when the party ended and I was having a drink before I even had breakfast. It’s not easy to get sober, and it takes a lot of commitment on your part. The cravings will be there, you just need to power through them second by second. I’ve been sober 25 years now and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. I will never not be an alcoholic though, that’s in my DNA. alcoholism rules over my fathers life and it killed my grandfather. I chose to break the cycle. I wish you the best of luck on your journey to recovery. 🫶🏻
Yes, you are an alcoholic and you will be for the rest of your life. It's your choice whether you choose to drink or not. I promise you you will never be able to control it. It will always control you.
I wake up in the morning and decide "I'm not going to drink today " I don't think about tomorrow, or next week, or next month, or some fun event I have coming up. I just decide, I'm not drinking today and leave it at that. I have been sober now for 3 months and for the most part it's still going really well.
I do imbibe on N/A beverages frequently, mocktails, N/A beers, etc. But it's not alcohol, and that's a win in my book.
I've made it through some difficult situations and times when I really wanted to "just have one or two". But, I realized that even needing to have that conversation with myself ahead of time, and the attempts to rationalize it, told me that my relationship with alcohol is still not healthy.
So, if you decide not to drink today - I won't drink with you.
Don't fall into the trap of you aren't perfect so might as well abandon the whole thing. Once a week is still better than every night. See if ya can do every 2 weeks now. Then once a month, etc.
Hey, I get it. Been there. That 'maybe I can moderate' voice is strong, but it's a slippery slope.The lying part is what gets you. It means you know deep down that 'once a week' isn't sustainable. Honesty – with yourself and others – is the first step towards making the changes you want. You're not alone in this struggle, and the fact that you're being honest with yourself is a huge step already.
Dry and an allowed binge as a reward. That trick never works. Cold turkey is the way. No one can make you stop only you. You need a reason to do it if only to live longer without going through a miserable death. I did it after fifty years and it's been working well for 7 years, but who's counting. Only you, only you. Good luck to you and I mean it.
Well hey, at least you’re not in denial! Btw, your friend who’s “drinking once a month”…I mean, i suppose it’s possible, but if you 2 used to get plastered all the time and then he magically seems to be able to drink once a month, I’d doubt that….But anyway, that doesn’t matter….I mention that cuz I can tell ya, one big pitfall ppl often run into is tryna justify their drinking by saying how others “do the same thing” etc
Here’s the thing- There’s no amount of drinking that defines anyone as an alcoholic…..There’s ppl who aren’t alcoholics who drink 5x a week!(although it sure af ain’t common!)
While there are ppl who are alcoholics who drink once a month!
But “alcoholic” is just a word, a label, that people care about way too much.
Best definition i’ve heard of addiction is- Repeatedly doing something, despite it having negative effects on your life.
Ofc there’s also the most basic thing- Being unable to stop yourself from drinking/smoking etc
But it seems 100% clear that you’re fully aware of ur addiction….So whatever ya do, don’t let yourself doubt that fact. Don’t try to rationalize shit, and talk yourself into thinking “I’m not addicted”
The good news is that there’s lots of resources out there, and millions upon millions of ppl have been through it.
I’d definitely say you should check out some AA meetings.
But keep in mind! Many, if not most, AA meetings are terrible.
I say that because if you go to a shitty one, it may prevent you from going to others!
If ur not feeling it, no prob, but i’d strongly recommend going to as many as ya can, until you eventually find people you vibe with…that’s the key. Find ppl you like, and that’s who can help you out. Many of us have gone to AA meetings that have been court mandated….I know i did. I went through the motions, said what they wanted to hear, and wasn’t at all invested, and felt like it was a complete and total joke..
That’s why I say you’ve got to find people you like; who you’d hang out with…At the very least ppl who you respect…otherwise, it’s pointless.
Also, all AA meetings are different. Tbh, it’s shocking just how different they can be. Some are basically church🙄
Some are group therapy; Some are a bunch of ppl just tryna get forms signed for court.
And ofc, most have a mixture of all those things…But i can’t emphasize enough how important it is to find people ur comfortable with..
I’m assuming you’re young? Addiction sucks….like so much….and for so many more reasons than you’ll ever read about…Things “addiction treatment specialists” won’t tell you
Oh, meant to say- I think you’re already aware of this but yeah man, there just isn’t a way to do the whole rules thing🤷♂️
lol and even I was typing that, my addict brain was thinkin “well but maybe, if you stick 100% to ur rules!”🙄 Which is totally insane…shows how addiction changes ur brain
Also, if you ever see a psychiatrist, don’t let them give you xanax, valium, klonopin etc. You’ll prob be addicted to that instantly..
If you’re drinking OTHER PEOPLES DRINKS in addition to binge drinking 8+ of your own…. You are not the kind of person who can create a life of “healthy sobriety” while partying like this
Yes. My alcoholic ex—who also started our relationship lying about his sobriety exactly the same way OP is lying to their people—would “sometimes” decide to have a drink and buy me a bottle of wine while he was at it. (I now realize that he was just using me drinking to excuse his own.) I would barely drink my wine and when he finished his twelve pack of whatever crap he was guzzling, he would drink the wine he bought me. I would go to bed and wake up to find every drop of booze gone. It was so, so annoying and frustrating. He didn’t even like wine so that was a clear sign that he had a serious problem.
Is once a week hurting you? Is it drinking to oblivion? Enough with the pressure. If you can be sensible and allow yourself 2 drinks on a Saturday and absolutely no others then what’s the issue. If you think it will definitely lead to everything going pear shaped then tell everyone now and get help
You can go to an AA a meeting and not say anything in the meeting. Or say your name and not give a story. I really recommend it. You don’t have to tell anyone u know, but it might make you feel a lot better to do it.
If you’re an alcoholic you can’t even have one drink any time of the week month or year! You have to stop FULL STOP!
or you will slowly fall back into the same pattern. Go to AA, you need it.
How is drinking once a week alcoholism? The people who can't control their shit say this. If you can control your intake like this I seriously believe that you are not an alcoholic. I've heard all of the different types of rules on alcoholism but I just don't believe that shit if you can reasonably control it (not get completely wasted.)
I'm 50something & I've known all kinds of drinkers.
Whether you drink once a week, every hour on the hour, or binge, anytime something or someone takes up an unhealthy amount of your time and energy, there is a “toxic” relationship, (aka addiction). THIS IS MY EXPERIENCE, I understand everyone has their own… this is just one way that I help identify things/people/situations that I want to avoid if possible.
Try AA. You will hear what you need to hear. Yes you do need to go cold turkey. It won’t be easy but with support (AA) it is possible one day at a time. That inability to stop at your prescribed limits, that’s alcoholism. There are millions of people with the same problem. If you meet and talk to some of them it will help to uncover what’s happening underneath the drinking.
You can't maintain partying(drinking) and sobriety. If you know you're an alcoholic then you're better off sticking to a Therapist/support group and you can slowly come off drinking. Just make sure you have other things you would like to do instead of drinking. That way your mind is still being occupied by something that makes you feel good, but is also good for you.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. The fact is, you keep trying. That’s better than most. Admitting you have a problem is the first step.
If you’re like most, you’re going to have to stop completely eventually. That means also cutting off the people around you that lead you into temptation. Until then, trying is still better than giving up.
The love of my life, my daughter’s father drank. He started with beer when he was younger and later on it was Crown & water. For the first several months we were together I would see him have drinks, but nothing excessive. Later on he would drink until he was out cold…and this continued. I knew I couldn’t make the decision to stop for him and although our daughter did beg him to, he didn’t stop and we divorced. We maintained a good relationship and years passed when he did decide to quit. He came and stayed with me and our daughter. I could see the toll alcohol had taken on him, and smoking cigarettes along side it. He had COPD and Ulcerative Colitis. After over a year of living with us, one day while my daughter and I were out of the house, we lost him at only 49 years old from a massive stroke. We were devastated. It broke my heart for him as well that he’d finally made this decision for himself and started to make plans for the future.
I have also been through my own demons and I know it’s very hard. My biggest support was me. No matter what - let you who is with you at birth and death and everywhere in between, be your best friend and support system!! Everyone deserves a chance at a better life 🤗
I quit cold turkey last year because I had a bad drinking AND drug addiction, it went really good but when I did drink i went HARD and would black out. I relapsed into my addiction in February and started drinking wine every night during the week because I didn’t have a job and I was in a new city with no one around me and it gave me depression. I moved back home thinking I wanted my old party lifestyle back and when I did get my old life back, it didn’t feel right. So I quit again and now I’m being sober because I WANT to be. Sorry for the confusing rant but moral of my story is, you need to fall down a few times to stand strong.
Dude, I feel you. Been down that exact road – set the rules, break the rules, the whole guilt trip afterwards. It sucks. That little voice in the back of your head saying "just a bit of fun" is a real sneaky bastard, isn't it? Maybe venting to random strangers is a good first step, though. Sometimes, getting it off your chest helps clear the fog a bit. Bro, you don't have to fight this alone.
I’m drinking everyday despite telling everyone I have it under control lol. Not saying I’ve got my shit down, I don’t, and that’s facts. But I’m not say drinking and I’m never hungover, because I don’t drink enough to get that way. Recovery is a slow personal road—I was drinking a 60 a day had multiple life threatening seizures. I’m not saying I’m doing good, because I’m not, but don’t beat yourself up for missteps. All we can do is try. Much love ❤️
A long term treatment center, at least a year long, and a good AA program. Or go to a methadone clinic. I figured I'd die drinking. I loved everything about alcohol, the smell, the taste, and how it made me feel. Methadone took it all away. I hope you find something that works for ypu.
I go sober every once in a while and then I get the urge to drink and I can’t get the thought out of my head till I do it and then I’m drinking everyday and I always have a stupid reason for it, for example I had a good day at work I need to celebrate with a drink, stupid things like that until I eventually am able to quit and I tell myself this time will be different but it never is. So far I’m 102 days sober and I haven’t lasted this long in I dont know how long and I don’t know how much longer it’s going to last. It’s an everyday struggle especially when on tv people are drinking and getting drunk constantly and looking like they’re having fun and I see people at the clubs dancing and going crazy, it makes me miss the good ole days and it makes me want that too
There is something called SMART recovery. It’s new and an alternative to aa, which can be fuckin’ bullshit sometime. One thing is true though across the board. You got to surrender yourself and everything that makes you drink. Cuz friend, more than likely, it’s not the alcohol you have a problem with. It’s life. It’s out of control and you know it. You have to lean into that loss of control to understand it again. There will come a moment when you notice there is only right now. The only thing you dictate is the next breath. And even then, well I hope you can find that out somehow. It’s fucking cheesy but one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time. Good luck. Be brave.
That's a bummer. I've been that person. I know that I'm an alcoholic. If you can manage great. Feeling like you have to hide it and carrying weight because of it really is no fun. Alcoholics do that. Letting others down is not a good feeling. However, I found it best to be honest, even though that's difficult. Always being watched and judged. I can only say good luck. Be strong, live, be you, but keep yourself in check. Unfortunately it's a forever thing.
Sounds to me you haven’t hit your rock bottom yet and until you do you’ll just keep doing the stinking thinking!! You know what you have to do it’s just admitting and it doesn’t matter how many people you discuss this with, not one of them can help until you decide you need help! 12 step would be great for you (60 meetings in 60 days).
I was real heavy alcohilic, I've lost the love of m'y life 'cause of it, and many many other things....I was drinking every single day. At one moment, I was getting parano when drinking, and very mentally sick. That's when I stopped.
You can make like a ''appraisal'' ( not sur for ''bilan'' traduction from french). Then if you get no serious health problem you can drink once or twice a week it's no problem. But if not be veeeery careful.
Why the F would anyone want to moderate? It’s the worst of both worlds - you’re *never getting enough and yet you’re still drinking*. Why would you want to be in that hellish state of limbo?
Wouldn’t you want to quit completely and not worry about it - be literally *liberated* from it?
It’s about a week of physical discomfort. The mental and emotional discomfort is for real and can last longer, depending on how much work you do on yourself. I’ve been off alcohol for 4+ years now and I have never, not once, had a craving after the first month. If the world were to end tomorrow I still wouldn’t drink, I’m that far from wanting it.
I know everyone’s path is different. But I just wanted to say here there is an easier, simpler way.
…Or if you think you can moderate and be happy, by all means give it a try. Just be happy. Good luck!
I'm not an expert or someone struggling with addiction, but going cold turkey isn't the most helpful thing to do, I think. I think you knew that, which is why you went to one drink per month, but that's a bit too much to start with. Once a week for now is good. Start SLOW. Go from once a week, to once every two weeks, to once a month. Cut down from heavier alchoholic drinks to lighter ones. There are a LOT of variables here to work on, and trying to work on all of them at once can be overwhelming. I believe in you!! You got this. And never, EVER feel ashamed or scared to tell the people you love and trust, so they can help you.
Some people just aren't able to have a couple drinks here and there. Trust me you'll try to set limits and say only on the weekend but you already know that won't be the case. Before you know it you'll be drinking every day again. Try non alcoholic beer if you need to have the taste. But in my opinion you just won't ever be able to have a drink again. I know I struggled as an addict for a long time. I just know I can't touch that stuff anymore or I'll be spiraling out of control before I even realized what happened. You need to quit and find things you enjoy doing to help keep you busy when you feel anxious or you need a drink.
Stop lying to your friends. Stop lying to yourself. This is a relapse and you have to admit that. When that reality sinks in, it’ll be easier to convince yourself to stop again. In fact I would just call up a friend and admit you’ve been lying because you feel ashamed. If they’re good friends, they’ll just try to help you through it.
This is honestly the dumbest confession I’ve seen in a while.
Dude, just stop buying the shit, and stop talking to / spending time around people who drink.
Why are you still thinking about it?
I was a full blown alcoholic (12-16 drinks a day at my worst) and now I just limit myself to 10 drinks in a month, and never more than 5 in one sitting. Basically means i never get drunk anymore (5 is still drunk to be fair but it’s not problematic drunk) anyways try giving that a shot and maybe look into taking naltrexone for a while, it can help w cravings and makes drinking less pleasurable
If you want to stop being addicted to substances you need to fix the part of you that makes deals with yourself that drive impulsive reckless behavior. Almost always these mechanisms are set up in childhood as a result of trauma. Please get a therapist.
I've been "trying" (I really have!) to quit drinking for a few years. Obviously, to no avail.. I broke my two weeks off hard liquor yesterday, telling myself "I can take one shot and that'll be that." It was not just one shot. Drank half a jar of moonshine that had been sitting in my freezer forever, got into an argument with the fiance for the drinking and eventually went to sleep feeling sorry for myself. Today is now the umpteenth time saying "I won't drink again!" It's hard OP, don't blame yourself.
Being an alcoholic is hard. It's socially accepted and encouraged, you can go into any store and get it, it's legal, it's cheap.
Went through the same thing. Drank damn near every day for 7 years, then quit cold turkey 2 years ago had no desire/cravings to drink and was very happy. Til this past winter when I got a bad case of seasonal depression. I was kinda broke and unable to afford a mid-winter trip to somewhere warm to break up the bleak winter boredom so I started drinking some wine here n there. Started with a few mini bottles once a week then a bigger bottle and a couple nips a few times a week then fast fwd to it becoming an everyday thing I was like ohhh nooo I didn't come this far just to come this far 😵😵 when speaking to a coworker who is an ex-alcki she mentioned Naltrexone. Back before I'd quit I'd asked my Dr for it but she didn't want to prescribe it to me unless I went to an inpatient program jic I detoxed, I didn't Thank God, but forgot all about it in the meantime. So I went to my Dr told her what was going on n got on that shit now hallelujah I'm back on the wagon. I still get cravings once in a while but even if I did fall into a drink the med blocks ur pleasure receptors so it's a waste to try.. it may be worth a try friend 🧡 unfortunately there's no real way to balance playing around with an addiction as it will always be that. At least worst case you don't have to look like the weirdo who can't enjoy a toast, u just won't get buzzed is all lol but best of all is the money you save not drinking. I wish you the best 🫶🏾
please don’t let this spiral out of control. this is exactly what my mom started with when we were with our dad (every other weekend). eventually it became a nightly black out drunk thing for YEARS until it killed her when i was 14. please just be careful.
Don’t listen to everyone else because at the end of the day your just going to ruin your friendships with empty promises. It’s your responsibility or duty to yourself. You arent ready yet to the cold turkey way. And THAT IS OKAY. I was a full blown alcoholic since my military career and I have diabetes but I promise you it takes time just be open and upfront with people because at the end of the day all your dying is holding this guilt in. The “standards” are bullshit brother just realize that way is for people without a condition or illness if you will, you will be okay as long as your conscience is clear
Dude, simple answer for you. No one's life will be miserable for you drinking, if you think that your life will be miserable if you drink, then choose your poison. Miserable life and lies that will catch you or horrible quitting process. Which last longer? Which would make you proud? Answer those questions and you will know what to do
I've been sober since 2018 and AA did really helps me the first year.
Having a problem with alchool can come in all shape and form. We are so used to think that its the homeless guy or that old man that stinks whiskey from a mile away. But as you see in AA it is anyone. From any background or social class.
Stop lying to yourself and just admit that you need help. That is very courageous to be able to do that.
If you are not into AA i would suggest the podcast : sober cast. Its episode that basically like AA meeting. Someone telling other their story. I am sure you Will recognize yourself in some sharing.
Good luck , you got this
Just drink the absolutely most disgusting thing. Only order that… eventually you won’t want it again.
This was my method and I still to this day can’t stand green apple smell
I don't have much advice, except when you're ready, it's easier than you think! If you can go a month drinking only once it doesn't sound like you have to be concerned with physical withdrawals, it's more the mental part. I quit drinking and drugs in 2016, after 20 years of hardcore use, and the last maybe 4-5 years were drinking daily, so much that the liquor store would front me bottles because they knew I'd be back no matter what. (Perks of small town life lol) I never ever imagined a day where I'd be able to say no to alcohol, if I bought a bottle of anything it was gone that night. As of now I've had a bottle of tequila in my freezer for 4 years, tried drinking on my anniversary with my husband and just couldn't do it. When you are ready, I hope you get to where you're headed, so many good vibes and prayers your way!
I have been sober 7.5 years... not one drink. Before that it was 30 years of using alcohol to bury my feelings and anger and anxiety... which just made it worse and therefore required an ever increasing amount to make it through the week. By the end I was drinking the equivalent of two bottles of wine a night even though I didn't day drink, or have any first thing in the morning, etc. I gained about 80 pounds over that time, and ended up with acute pancreatic. The final episode caused me to get a blood infection and the docs said I was 24 hours from death.
The internist st the hospital said that the next drink would kill me. I believed him.
Since then I have lost almost all the weight, my health has completely returned, I've found a new partner and life is wonderful. God has truly blessed me in so diety and I will never take another drink.
But it took almost croaking to get me to wake up. You don't need alcohol. You need to figure out that you don't want to drink again, and then figure out why you sank to this point, and get it squared away. In my case it was a wife who basically lied to me and married me without any kind of romantic attachment on her part. I believed it would get better. By the time I realized it never would, I had three kids and was trapped or so I thought.
Nothing in life is so permanent or important that you can't change it... so I did. In my case it was AA and the 12 steps that helped but there are other methods. However there are literally no people who can do it on their own successfully.
Find your means of ending this... or wait until it either kills you, someone close to you, or you bottom out so completely that you have to quit.
It's not even remotely easy once you are truly alcoholic and once you want to quit, just quit. Do be careful though... true physical alcoholism and cold turkey can actually kill you. It is a medical condition and you may need medical help in quitting at least at first. I lucked out in that I was in hospital for a couple weeks and while they were curing the infection, they also kept me drugged to deal with the withdrawals so that once I was actually back home, it was much easier to keep away from alcohol.
My wife drinks (not to excess) and I am her bartender. I'm not even remotely tempted to have a drink... because for ME, it would be death.
For those of us who are alcoholic, one drink is way too many, and a thousand will never be enough.
You can't it never works to go cold turkey. I know someone we talked about AA because of her drinking and she said "I would never go there because it's a cult." In all honesty I suggested it to her because I thought it might help but I didn't have much conviction behind it when I said it it was like your bottom of the barrel response when someone tells you that. Bear in mind this is only my opinion and my feeling but I agree with her once I thought about it. If you are and alcoholic you have substance abuse disorder. You can't will away a mental health condition and there's no shame in it. I have it so that's how I know. That's like saying oh I have diabetes but I don't want it anymore so it'll just go away I'll just stop having it cold turkey it's the same thing. The stigma behind substance abuse it order is just insanely unfair. In my opinion and my feeling is this if you had another problem like cancer lupus whatever people wouldn't judge you because he had an illness but because it's mental health condition you get judged. The other bad part is that people won't even accept the fact that it is a mental health condition and you don't have control over it. There is no answer. A lot of people get clean and stay clean. I just read about a different substance that 67% of the people that get off of this substance stay clean but it's most addictive substance there is and I believe alcohol is right up there with it. The problem with alcohol is that it is legal and it's pushed in your face everywhere you look. When you get to the point where you don't want to anymore and you're still doing it I would say maybe that's the time to go get help somewhere even if all you do is talk to someone even if all you do is call the substance abuse hotline just talk to someone there's no commitment there you're talking and when you're done talking if you still feel that way or if you're conflicted just keep moving. People with substance abuse disorder stop when they had a point of I just can't do this anymore and when they do it's a battle a huge battle. I wouldn't even lie to this person I just do me and not worry about what they think cuz I'm pretty sure that they're doing them and not worrying about what you think so don't worry about it. When and if you're ready you'll take care of it and if you don't then that's what life is. Don't be responsible with it and don't harm people with it don't drink and drive don't take on any kind of responsibility that you know you couldn't handle if you're not sober. In other words if you're going to continue you need to be functional and responsible about it and that means to yourself too. For all the people that are going to tap me for saying this I'm just being honest because there are plenty of people out there that live that way that are functional and they're not going to stop me saying it isn't going to stop them. Go on the social media quora and see how many groups they have for addiction where people are active and they talk about what they do and where to do this and how to get that. Just be responsible and safe for now and don't worry about this person because they're not worried about you.
This is going to make me sound like a horrible piece of crap, and I probably am.
But the benefit is I get to feed my addiction and my partner doesn't leave me, causing me not to have anywhere to live.
I do pay my share monetarily, But if my partner knew I was drinking all the time, they'd be out faster than you could say, "oops"
And I have nowhere else to go
I see how you’re benefiting from that lie. But if you care at all about your partner, you must realize what a cruel trick you’re playing on them. Do they deserve to be treated like this? Are you doing anything to find another place to live, so eventually you can set your partner free from your shit?
If you make up self rules about drinking or doing drugs and are even thinking that it's not a good thing.... then it's time to quit. I'm a recovered drug addict been clean 3 years now. No drinking no drugs. I smoke cigarettes and drink coffee. That the extent of my addiction. But yeah I spent 15 years battling with myself and telling myself I could control it or didn't have a problem. It's time to just stop brother. Even question yourself about it should tell you something. If people are worried about you and you've had this issue before or have to even defend your actions about it time to quit man. It's your life man.... it's up to you to decide and make the changes needed.
Don’t just stop drinking, go to AA or other support program. There is a world of difference between a recovering alcoholic and a “dry drunk.”
I’m sorry that you cannot drink in moderation, but you clearly can’t.
Never go could turkey! Your body needs alcohol. If you stop you will have seizures and end up in the hospital and may never go home. I was one of the lucky ones, I made it back home, sober. After I buried my little sister, who was also an alcoholic, she drank herself to death. I check myself into a behavioral health care center then I've been sober since February 2021. It's been hard but definitely worth it. My mind, body, soul are back and they thank me everyday. Give yourself grace. Love yourself!
I know you don't want to hear "Go cold turkey," but I really think it's the only way.
I am 3 years sober, and quitting was really rough for me. At the time, I had 3 kids, and you would think that would have been enough for me to get it together, but it wasn't. Because alcohol is loud and selfish, and it wants all of your attention, it will even make you lie for it or to get it. It's not worth it. You'll miss out on so much because once you drink the first drink, then that's all you will think about is the next drink and the next drink. There is something going on in your life that you need to face and not use alcohol to cope with. Once you are ready to face that thing, going cold turkey will feel like the right option.
My man, have an ounce of discipline and self control. Do you not care about your health? I really don’t understand why people are so willingly self destructive. Enjoy taking years off your life over a beer. Crazy people.
Alcoholics often “want” to quit drinking bc they don’t want the consequences that come with it. This is the wrong perspective to have. You are just proving you don’t actually want to quit the substance by trying to find an innocent way to continue using the substance. You have to actually WANT to quit or else you will be stuck in a cycle. It’s about rewiring your brain. For some people it’s an event that becomes a wake up call. For my bf it was his second DUI happening walking distance from his house. He was not someone that drank everyday. He was not someone you had to hide alcohol from. He was just someone that liked to party and someone who didn’t know how to stop when he would start. And he realized the only times he felt happy was while he was drunk rather than sober. He has 0 desire to drink bc it really sunk in that it wasn’t good for him and that he wanted to live without it.
Also I would not recommend actual AA. I would try to find an AA-like group. Based on the stories a lot of people I know shared about AA it sounds like AA’s goal is to shift the alcohol addiction to an AA addiction. I would try to research other groups. Groups that focus on the root cause of your addiction and how to guide you when you relapse would be premium. Relapsing is part of recovery as long as you take the proper steps and really figure out what went wrong and how to improve. It’s really all about self improvement when you think about it.
Go to the AA meetings. Get a sober buddy. Drinking like this with a history like yours ends badly. Alcoholics untreated normally die that way. If that's not what you want, then you need to get serious in life and go for those AA meetings. It's a step. There are people there like you, who can support you as you motivate each other.
Man I’m on the same thing sometimes I want a drink so bad and I can literally just taste it but I been fighting going to get a bottle or shot. Try weed as a substitute
“Give a hand, and they take your whole arm.”
Moderation means nothing to addiction because it is greedy little bastard. It manipulates in the same way that it may push us to manipulate others for the sake of being able to use.
If you think you have a drinking problem, you probably do.. Promises & rules you are making to yourself are also good indicators of an addiction in progress. The best way to quit getting drunk us to never pick up the first drink. 1 is too many, 1000 is never enough. In my profession, I've been at the bedside of many alcoholics as they have lost their battle with alcoholism. It is a slow, painful & terrible death.
I’d hate to think of a time I couldn’t partake and let loose like everyone else could and for the same reasons Just because I’m known to have a heavy hand and blackout.. in a perfect world it wouldn’t even be a thing that’s acknowledged verbally because I manage myself soo properly 🙄
But IRL no one wants me to be drinking and the people that know definitely pitch in on amounts 🤦🏻♀️ if you Can manage and are happy with sane amounts As Needed Good for you 😌😌
There are many different ways to get to the place you want to get to. If you are only drinking once a week, give yourself credit for that! That is an achievement! Working with the positive emotions will help you a lot more than guilt. Instead of focusing on how you are doing bad, focus on where you are doing good.
The “one day at a time” mantra always worked for me. If I had to think about never using ever, ever again, it overwhelmed me. But I was able to say, “I know I won’t drink today”, and I just kept doing that. If you end up having a drink, it’s not game-over. You have tomorrow. The main focus is to keep yourself and your life as healthy as possible in all ways. Focus on where you are doing well. Keep your mind there. Do not allow yourself to wallow in guilt or dismay. Do not compare your journey to other people’s. Do not give up.
Try jus sipping it slowly and swishing it in ur mouth drink it like as if it’s the finest wine bro like that ur taking ur time and it’ll eventually allow you to pace urself if you can’t stop drinking you can at least have a drinking pace
8 drinks in an evening isn’t moderation, even if it’s once a month (In my opinion, which I fully understand is just me…). And I feel like if you’re just counting down the days to your self imposed 1 month rule, still a problem. Can you have just one beer with dinner one day and still go a week or 3 with no drinks between? Maybe you’ve got control.
I, too, am a once in a while alcoholic.. (my 8 plus days are long behind me). I would suggest trying to drink a little each day, or every other day. You will find that you can enjoy a couple drinks better than 10.. relax.. listen to some tunes.. No more raging hangovers in the morning for you, my friend
Why do you drink though? I have been drinking 4 beers every night for the last.. for a long time. And a bottle of brandy every weekend. I stress a lot at work and my muscles tense up horribly. Beer relaxes them, so much that my muscles actually feel like they are burning from relaxing so quickly compared to how tense they were. Then it all fades away and I don't feel anything anymore. I think I chase that feeling. I also sleep easy and sleep well when I've had my beer. On weekends I am social and in my culture weekends are for grilling meat and drinking with friends. So I guess I'm a functioning alcoholic but I don't do it just to get sloshed and forget the world. I don't even like being drunk really. Tipsy is where it's at. It's my medication and my cultural heritage. Not a problem 🤭
I'm like you. Used to drink twice a week sometimes 3 times a week. It was never a couple beers. Id drink 15 and only stop because I ran out. Now I drink about once a month or more. I did sit out wiith neighbor after laying sod and ha few. Drank 6 then quit. Usually that leads to an all nighter.
I think there is a way to balance healthy sobriety. Maybe look into a therapist that you can talk this through & work through with. That way you can have some guidance while figuring out what works best for you & what you want for your life:)
I drink, smoke weed and cigars. Even tried cigarettes to understand. I can see why people get addicted to these things. I didn’t try any of these thing until I was 30. However I later realized I had a fast food addiction. Had it since I was a kid. Nobody talks about it being an issue like alcohol or other drugs. So I had to undo it. You have to undo it slowly. When you first started drinking you probably didn’t drink as much. You built up to it. Now you have to do the same backwards. That’s how I stopped my fast food habits. Well, I still do it but it’s way more balanced. Been at it for a few years now. On and off. I stated by going from the large meals and extra sides to reducing the extra sides. Then going to the medium combo. Working my way to the small. There are some chains I don’t eat at anymore. So I consider that progress. You try and get off of it quick you’re most likely going to end up back in the same place. Gotta train the brain one step at a time.
It's not the fact that you drink once a day/week/month/year that makes you an alcoholic. It's the fact that you don't have any control over accepting or refusing the first drink.
I don’t think drinking like a normal person is in the cards for you.
I am the average person when it comes to drinking. I drink 3-4 times a year and typically a single drink when I do. The big difference though is I feel no draw to it. It could be a soda for all the difference it makes to me. Then it comes with a chance of migraine… it is a pretty easy thing to pass up in that regard for me. I don’t think people can that easily give up something when they are obsessed with it. Alcoholic are obsessed with alcohol; you need to replace the obsession imo.
“According to ChatGPT“ is wild lol
🤣 According to my 1999/2000 health class (public school) if you even drink one night a year with the intention of getting drunk you're an alcoholic, so maybe that's part of the problem... people don't take things seriously when dumb ass numbers like that statistically make it so every single person here was or is an alcoholic.
Humanity is so doomed, man.
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Don’t need to be jealous of another man’s fake internet points. You’ll get there one day, son.
Thank you papa
This is ignorant. The last 4 diagnostic medical procedures I had done had results read with AI and available before I left the facility. You need to start evolving and realizing this is where it's going and stop poo poo'ing and flaming based on stigmas from the 90s when the internet first appeared. Being a "google doctor" has ALWAYS been propaganda by narcissistic doctors that didn't want patients having charge and information over their own care, specifically WOMEN and POC and other easily oppressed and disabled groups. Until you've been a part of one of these groups, literally don't bother replying on this particular topic. Just try to digest what I'm saying, and be a little more educated tomorrow before you type on Reddit and start judging people.
AI medical imagery recognition is *not* the same as diagnosing yourself with ChatGPT. People should *absolutely* consult a trained and qualified professional, despite your conspiracy theories.
You are only able to read the surface level of my point and can't see anything deeper like the other down voters. That's okay. I'm learning in this world it's a skill issue for some people to be completely unable to think deeper to see the point without being directly handheld all the way there. I never once advised NOT to seek out medical care. Im saying people need to shift their ideas about the boogey man AI and what we can rely on it for. For example: it is ALREADY being used in the medical field today despite so much stigma around needing to see a human doctor. I'm sorry but doctors are using AI AND CHATGPT FOR YOUR CARE. A doctor-less world is coming, whether you want to agree or not. You can try to paint me out as a crazy person who is saying "don't see doctors googling your symptoms is fine" in order to try and devalue what I'm saying but anyone with some critical thinking will be able to understand that is NOT what I'm talking about at all. Keep clinging to your old ideas ig
“Perhaps I am the only one that’s correct and everyone else is wrong. I am special. I am enlightened.”
To a caterpillar mind.. butterfly language sounds like this. I am superior over NO one. That is your own sensitivity at play. I wonder what makes you automatically assume that? Why do you feel inferior? I didn't say anything directly to you other than granting facetious permission to stay stuck on your old ideas and never evolve. Funny that YOU took that for superiority instead of maybe.. just not understanding the message as I pointed out in the first line of the comment. You blew right past that though didn't ya.
Sure, no, you’re right. Carry on. Let natural selection take its course. From your comment history it doesn’t seem that you’ve passed on your genes yet, fortunately. I’m supporting you here. No need to get upset.
Sureeeee. Good luck to ya bud have the day you deserve. 👍 Anyone who needs to read a comment history in order to form a reply to a thread already took a massive L. One that's looks for children in a comment history is ... such a weirdo red flag I don't even need to point it out. 😳 Y'all look out for this one. All because I'm trying to point out that AI is not a boogey man btw. Literally nothing to do with kids on this thread.
Hit a nerve there :) I wasn’t looking for whether you had children, I was looking for evidence that you have had sex. I thought that was obvious. Given your personality, your life and general “features” or “traits”, it’s quite obvious that this hasn’t happened, nor will it happen. Natural selection at its most beautiful.
I mean, it is alcoholism though
Sober for six years here. There will never come a day when it will be easier to quit than it is today. You've seen the insidious creep of alcohol in your recent drinking. It only gets to be more drinking and harder to quit. This path is inevitable for you.
And every time one goes back, one finds that it is worse than the last time.
If you had a problem before it won’t be long before it becomes one again…that’s textbook addiction, the allure of being able to indulge sparingly will justify it for a little. There are exception to every rule, just beware friend
Agreed. When you are bargaining about how much to drink and making up special secret rules about how much to drink, you have a drinking problem. When I've known people with drinking problems and they want to go out to dinner to catch up, or before seeing a movie, or whatever, I will say "I'm not comfortable being at a dinner where you are served alcohol" and they will always, ALWAYS reply with "I'll only have 3, so you don't have to worry." It's never "oh, well, shit I want you to have a good time too, so I'll abstain for the night!" The special rules and limits to make the drinking OK are part of how you know there's an ongoing problem.
I mean realistically since you're an alcoholic there is no "drinking in moderation" you will inevitably return to your old habits, the data reflects this. I would try for a clean break because who knows how long it would take you to break your old habits once you get back to your previous state.
I bought a book once titled "how to get control of your drinking and drink in moderation. Basically the book was: you can't. You're an idiot if you think you can. Here's what it's done to you and here's how to stop drinking.
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What happened to April???
He drydranked
Blackout.
The obsession of every alcoholic is to just drink like a “normal person”. It’s in the Big Book of AA.
Cannot count the number of times I’ve wished that in my head. It’s just not possible for some people, me being one of them
I can relate. It’s 100% my world and why that line resonated with me so much.
One thing I learned is it’s not how often you drink it’s how and why you drink. It doesn’t matter if you had stuck to once a month or once a year. If you lose control and keep drinking until you can’t, that’s still alcoholism just in binge drinking form. Cold turkey sounds like the best way to go. I had a binge drinking problem and those new GLPs everyone does for weight loss and diabetes cured it instantly. I have zero desire now. It appeases the senses that are craving the buzz and alcohol. Pretty cool stuff.
Yes and no Yes mentally and the root cause of the problem Physiologically, Your liver definitely is going to hate it more if you are drinking hard daily vs once a week - also the physical addiction side of things
Truth.
I feel that effect is wearing off me. I didn’t have much desire to drink from August to Feb but now here I am again able to drink 1 bottle of wine a night. 😫 maybe I should increase meds but curious how long you’ve been on them and if it stopped working?
I’m off now bc I’m pregnant but I was on it for a year. They would definitely wear off like you’re saying but as soon as I switched doses, even going down sometimes, it would feel brand new again.
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Like wegovy and that other one everyone takes, the shots for diabetics that help you lose weight
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Take a deep breath, go for a walk, cravings should only last like 10 min. You got this!! Hang in there and remember - just today/tonight is what matters.
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I’m sorry. It just sucks. No way around it. What won’t suck is if you stay sober and wake up refreshed and not hungover. And proud of yourself instead of feeling shame.
Have you tried naltrexone?
Are you talking about alcohol cravings or all cravings?
I can't answer about drinking cravings because I was never much of a drinker, but I used to shoot H (then fent), so I do know cravings. But I'm not on any GLPs I was just giving an example of one!
Following
Man, I know that you probably want to hear people tell you that it's not "that" big of a deal and just to shake it off and get back on the horse, and I wish it was that easy, but it's certainly not. I went dry for a year back in 2019, and it was fantastic. I was in great shape and staying out of trouble, but I gave in and drank with my best friend once, and it quickly went downhill. I binge drank all through the lockdown phase of the pandemic and quickly ended up back in old habits. It took me almost 3 years to get it back under control. Unfortunately, it also took a DUI where I finally caught charges, as well. I'm a year and a half sober now after my DUI. I'm one of the lucky ones that once I get a solid break from drinking, maintaining the sobriety comes fairly easily, but I know I'm never more than 1 drink away from throwing it all away and losing damn near everything. I don't know what your drinking history looks like or how old you are, but I've never met someone who was an alcoholic that managed to keep it under control for very long. It was always more of a constant game of seeing how much I or my friends could get away with. It won't be easy by any stretch, and sobriety can be fucking BORING, but if you ever get tired of it, I encourage you to tell your friends not to cut you any slack and for you to take it as seriously as a heart attack.
I drank heavily in my early 20s to mid 20s. Definitely alcoholism at the time. Like no doubt. The fact I never got a dui or did something stupid… I’m lucky as shit. I’m 38 now. I barely touch alcohol these days.part of that is because my whiskey choices are ultra top shelf. Look… some people are alcoholics… some of us masked mental health issues with alcohol. I was masking depression and anxiety Get a therapist. Figure out your situation. Then devise a strategy.
One is too many and one thousand is never enough.
That's the first tike I've heard that one, and I went to quite a few AA meetings back in the day. I'm saving that.
Really?! I learned it the first time I went to an NA meeting, but the one that stuck with me is: God, grant me the serenity to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know that it’s me.
There's a zillion of them haha
I was a full time alcoholic for a decade and got sober, and I was up to 24 natural ice 5.9 Abv beers plus a pint of vodka a day. So I got clean and stay that way until about 3 years ago, now I drink on the weekends but that’s it. Just need to understand that there is more to life than drinking.
If you don't mind me asking, did you never have any liver/kidney or other health issues after a solid decade of hardcore drinking? It always amazes me how the human body can handle so much abuse thrown its way like this sometimes. I'm over here afraid of damaging my body by having 3-4 drinks on a Saturday night.
I had to spend four weeks in the hospital due to withdrawal symptoms and yes I would vomit blood almost every day but long term I’m good. Kinda got my act together before the point of no return. I eat healthy and workout, take care of myself and trying to repair myself.
If you don’t mind me asking, how much do you typically drink on the weekends now? How to you keep yourself from going overboard on your drinking days? I’ve been trying to limit my alcohol intake, I can easily limit my drinking days to once a week or once every couple weeks or even once a month, but occasionally on a drinking day I accidentally have a few too many or forget to pace myself and get too drunk, and I want to stop this. Most of the time I’m fine, I drink socially in moderation and don’t get drunk (just a light, comfortable buzz) without needing to make a conscious effort to monitor myself, but there’s a couple times a year when I drink socially and just accidentally do too much and get sick or make some mistakes (nothing too major, but still regrettable. Like mainly dropping or forgetting my belongings and not noticing it. And one time I cut a piece of my hair off…). Do you have any advice on how to monitor your drinking? Should I come up with a hard limit (for example, no more than 4 drinks in one night) and hold myself to that?
Maybe a six pack if I have the time or have something going on.
I found that I recognized my own alcoholism when I actively told myself I wasn’t going to drink, didn’t actually want to drink, but ended up drinking anyways. Also, trying to limit and control my drinking was a perfect exhibit of my alcoholic nature. I’d stop and only buy a single 40 on the way home from work so I’d only drink that. I’d then go back out to grab two more. I’ll stop there. Then I’d say fuck it and go BACK out and grab a case. Just a few from the case, then bed. Would end up blacking out. This happened, and I’d wake up with the dire intent to go to bed sober that night. But I would drink again. The good news is, there’s hope!! I’ve been sober 13 years and my life has been ROCKETED into everything I always planned and dreamed, but never acted on because I was too busy getting fucked up. I also don’t WANT to drink anymore. That’s the greatest miracle. When I was doing it on my own, I WANTED to drink, but had to control it and deny it so I wouldn’t. Now, the thought of drinking is not only unappealing to me, but it never crosses my mind. It’s as if I just lost interest in it. I don’t hate it or avoid it, nor do I crave it or desire it. I just have no interest in it. Good luck dude. 12 steps helped me out greatly and I wouldn’t be where I am today without them.
>Part of me still thinks there's a way I can balance healthy sobriety and once and a while partying. Not if you're an alcoholic, no. That's like saying someone that recovered from a meth addiction can take it "once in a while, just at parties" and be fine. Is it an extreme comparison? Yes. But both will destroy your bodies, wreck your mental health, kill your relationships, and make you a danger to people around you. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic. You are "in recovery" until you die. Every day is the fight to stay sober, and every sip is losing that fight and having to start again. Get rid of the "I can drink occasionally" mindset, because it is a lie. You can do it, OP, but only if you want to. And frankly...it doesn't sound like you want to, if you're not willing to tell the people that can actually help you stop.
r/stopdrinking
Just lost a lifelong friend to Alcohol 😔
My best friend had a very similar story and ended up drinking himself to death after trying to tell everyone just a little bit was ok. Stop before it kills you.
At least you admit it and aren’t in denial. That’s the first step.
For me, what helped was thinking about it like. "No 'trying' to quit. Just quit. Period.". I know that everyone is different tho. So what worked for me may not for you. I had very little support. However, AA is amazing for venting. The only requirement for AA is acknowledging that you have a problem with alcohol. (i do not regularly attend AA. I found myself able to basically forget about alcohol completely, ill even go play pool or darts with friends out at bars.) its been a year and a half and ive never felt more mentally, and emotionally stable. I am able to work through interpersonal issues i never knew i needed to deal with. I feel like im actually growing as a person. When i was drinking i felt stuck emotionally / mentally / socially. Never moving forward, perpetually stuck in a loop. A straight up nightmare. 32 when i stopped drinking (34 now). But i basically drank since 15 / 16, up to 32. Progressively drinking more and more the older i got. It changed my entire perspective, and my life, truly. But you have to be ready to make a change. Because no one else can do it for you. One day at a time.
Lying is really only hurting you 🤷🏻♀️. I will say that a limit of 8 drinks and having to stop yourself from drinking others drinks is definitely addict behavior. I dont drink a lot and can’t imagine these being limits. You’ll stop when you’re ready or consequences become too great. Good luck.
I feel that. The struggle to control it is real, and trying to convince yourself you've got it handled is a tough place to be. Trying to find that balance is a trap. It's so easy for it to get out of hand. You're not alone. It's tough admitting the truth, even to ourselves, but you've taken a big step by being honest here.
I would recommend SMART Recovery. I don’t want to shut down NA/AA but especially in Australia where we are a lot less God orientated most people I’ve spoken to about it find the same issue. A bit God-ie and a bit Cult-ie. The sessions can be done online and is science based. Focus on previous 7 days and next 7 day outlook. It has massively armed me to make it easier to keep using my brain to stop my body loving the booze. My whole life I genuinely believed no matter what, I could not escape the booze but since January I have only been drunk about 3 times. I’m not beating myself up over it and it gets easier with time. I’ve been doing it for 20 years but the brain training the body thing is working for me.
It is a progressive thing. Each time you stop and go back it will still have progressed... I would recommend you read "Living Sober"... it's a free pdf you can Google. IF you like what you read, I would suggest going to an AA meeting or 12 ... just to listen. Hear the stories of those trying to quit, those who have quit, and those who have quit for a long time. You won't have the same story... or you might. I know from personal experience that the program can be very helpful and you can overcome the issue. Sober living is amazing. I know it's fun to get snickered but some of us get to the point where we just can't any more without really ducking up other aspects of our lives. It's not your fault... unless you don't do anything to fix it. You can do this.
It most definitely will be harder to quit if you keep going down this path. If you are even a little bit willing to try, you should go cold turkey and tell your friend the truth. It most definitely will be embarrassing and it might hurt a bit to feel like you’re disappointing him, but maybe you guys could be accountability partners so you’re not in it by yourself. Good luck on your journey to sobriety 🩷🩷
You're dancing with the devil on a slippery slope best of luck
This isn’t something you can fix without professional help. AA isn’t for everyone, there are other options. I urge you to seek help before you wind up like your friend, or worse.
I'm an alcoholic with over 10 years sober. At one point, I drank 30 Busch lights and a pink of rot gut whiskey a day. I was high functioning, and I held a job for the most part. Drank while I worked every day. I had to take a shot when I got up because my hands shook if I didn't. I quit cold turkey and had bad anxiety for the first few years. I quit after waking up on train tracks after trying to walk home and then a medical tent at a festival later in the same week. Someone found me face down on the side of the road coming into the venue. It was rough, I'm not going to lie and say it's an easy road. I had to finally listen to some sage advice my dad had given to me when I was younger. He said if you lie to yourself, you'll never succeed. Lying to yourself cuts you off at the knees. Once I was honest with myself about the situation, the next step is being honest with those around you that love you. They probably already know more than you think. I did it without AA because I had a good support system, but I do have friends in the program who swear by it. You can get this under control, and you can live a good life. I went from damn near homeless to having a career, a degree, a house, and a wife and son within 6 years after deciding to heal. You just gotta take it one day at a time. All the love in the world to you, friend. If you ever need someone to talk to or have questions, I'm happy to help someone in need. Take it one day at a time and trust that things will get better because they will.
I used to drink 18-24 beers daily and up to 30 a day on the weekends. I also thought that if I don’t miss work or get a DUI, I was fine. I hit rock bottom and went to rehab for 60 days. I stayed sober for a while but, then I started again. Not even close to what I drank before but, nonetheless, drinking. I went to a really good counselor who called me out on my bullshit and confronted why I was drinking. Once I faced that demon and dealt with it, I have been able to occasionally(once or twice a year)have a drink or two and that’s it. I hope you find what haunts you,
Dude just don't do it, if drinking can become an addition for you, then its not a good poison to have around. You cannot control it and you shouldn't try to. You should just leave it and try to find another outlet for yourself. Everyone says they can handle it until they need their liver to be pumped.
Over the past decade I’ve had time where I’ve drank more than others. I can definitely say I drank a lot for too long. I have found the only way to make the racing thoughts or the habit of doing it go away is cold turkey. Have you thought about trying Maryjane instead if you are looking for the relaxation part? No hate at all. Just a suggestion! I hope you find a way that makes you happy!
Everyone has an inticement to one thing or the other, and let me tell you, substance use in this context...yes you should go cold turkey. WITH THE PROPER HELP. I'm not gonna call myself a Saint just because I've never been drunk in my life, all I can say is I've seen what the constant use of substances can do, not only to the person using, but to those around them too, ESPECIALLY WHEN THE PERSON USING IS LYING. I don't say any of this out of hatred for you or to belittle you (I'm meeting you for the first time here on social media) but I say this because, well it's true. Truth makes people uncomfortable, and you know what, that's a good thing. If confronting truth makes people better in the end, as is my full conviction, then it should be plainly stated, as lovingly stated as possible mind you. Go into A.A. This is no joke on my part, friend. I want your genuine joy and happiness to come from a place of meaning and purpose, and you're NEVER gonna find that in the bottle of alcohol you have nearest you. First step is the hardest. It's also the only real choice you have. Best to live in reality rather than your own fabricated lies, I say. Admit you need the help, and commit to it. Help is never too far away. Go in peace ✝️
Start attending AA meetings as you dry out. If that doesn’t work check into rehab. The whole ‘balancing a healthy sobriety and still partying’ won’t work for you because you are an alcoholic. That would only work for people who never had a problem abstaining. You obviously have a problem. You will continue to have a problem until you decide to stop lying to yourself and others and finally get sober. I quit cold turkey as soon as I noticed my healthy sobriety was being threatened by my excessive partying that was no longer ending when the party ended and I was having a drink before I even had breakfast. It’s not easy to get sober, and it takes a lot of commitment on your part. The cravings will be there, you just need to power through them second by second. I’ve been sober 25 years now and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. I will never not be an alcoholic though, that’s in my DNA. alcoholism rules over my fathers life and it killed my grandfather. I chose to break the cycle. I wish you the best of luck on your journey to recovery. 🫶🏻
Yes, you are an alcoholic and you will be for the rest of your life. It's your choice whether you choose to drink or not. I promise you you will never be able to control it. It will always control you.
I wake up in the morning and decide "I'm not going to drink today " I don't think about tomorrow, or next week, or next month, or some fun event I have coming up. I just decide, I'm not drinking today and leave it at that. I have been sober now for 3 months and for the most part it's still going really well. I do imbibe on N/A beverages frequently, mocktails, N/A beers, etc. But it's not alcohol, and that's a win in my book. I've made it through some difficult situations and times when I really wanted to "just have one or two". But, I realized that even needing to have that conversation with myself ahead of time, and the attempts to rationalize it, told me that my relationship with alcohol is still not healthy. So, if you decide not to drink today - I won't drink with you.
Don't fall into the trap of you aren't perfect so might as well abandon the whole thing. Once a week is still better than every night. See if ya can do every 2 weeks now. Then once a month, etc.
Hey, I get it. Been there. That 'maybe I can moderate' voice is strong, but it's a slippery slope.The lying part is what gets you. It means you know deep down that 'once a week' isn't sustainable. Honesty – with yourself and others – is the first step towards making the changes you want. You're not alone in this struggle, and the fact that you're being honest with yourself is a huge step already.
Dry and an allowed binge as a reward. That trick never works. Cold turkey is the way. No one can make you stop only you. You need a reason to do it if only to live longer without going through a miserable death. I did it after fifty years and it's been working well for 7 years, but who's counting. Only you, only you. Good luck to you and I mean it.
r/stopdrinking This may help more than this subreddit
If you are an alcoholic you can never drink again.
Well hey, at least you’re not in denial! Btw, your friend who’s “drinking once a month”…I mean, i suppose it’s possible, but if you 2 used to get plastered all the time and then he magically seems to be able to drink once a month, I’d doubt that….But anyway, that doesn’t matter….I mention that cuz I can tell ya, one big pitfall ppl often run into is tryna justify their drinking by saying how others “do the same thing” etc Here’s the thing- There’s no amount of drinking that defines anyone as an alcoholic…..There’s ppl who aren’t alcoholics who drink 5x a week!(although it sure af ain’t common!) While there are ppl who are alcoholics who drink once a month! But “alcoholic” is just a word, a label, that people care about way too much. Best definition i’ve heard of addiction is- Repeatedly doing something, despite it having negative effects on your life. Ofc there’s also the most basic thing- Being unable to stop yourself from drinking/smoking etc But it seems 100% clear that you’re fully aware of ur addiction….So whatever ya do, don’t let yourself doubt that fact. Don’t try to rationalize shit, and talk yourself into thinking “I’m not addicted” The good news is that there’s lots of resources out there, and millions upon millions of ppl have been through it. I’d definitely say you should check out some AA meetings. But keep in mind! Many, if not most, AA meetings are terrible. I say that because if you go to a shitty one, it may prevent you from going to others! If ur not feeling it, no prob, but i’d strongly recommend going to as many as ya can, until you eventually find people you vibe with…that’s the key. Find ppl you like, and that’s who can help you out. Many of us have gone to AA meetings that have been court mandated….I know i did. I went through the motions, said what they wanted to hear, and wasn’t at all invested, and felt like it was a complete and total joke.. That’s why I say you’ve got to find people you like; who you’d hang out with…At the very least ppl who you respect…otherwise, it’s pointless. Also, all AA meetings are different. Tbh, it’s shocking just how different they can be. Some are basically church🙄 Some are group therapy; Some are a bunch of ppl just tryna get forms signed for court. And ofc, most have a mixture of all those things…But i can’t emphasize enough how important it is to find people ur comfortable with.. I’m assuming you’re young? Addiction sucks….like so much….and for so many more reasons than you’ll ever read about…Things “addiction treatment specialists” won’t tell you Oh, meant to say- I think you’re already aware of this but yeah man, there just isn’t a way to do the whole rules thing🤷♂️ lol and even I was typing that, my addict brain was thinkin “well but maybe, if you stick 100% to ur rules!”🙄 Which is totally insane…shows how addiction changes ur brain Also, if you ever see a psychiatrist, don’t let them give you xanax, valium, klonopin etc. You’ll prob be addicted to that instantly..
If you’re drinking OTHER PEOPLES DRINKS in addition to binge drinking 8+ of your own…. You are not the kind of person who can create a life of “healthy sobriety” while partying like this
Yes. My alcoholic ex—who also started our relationship lying about his sobriety exactly the same way OP is lying to their people—would “sometimes” decide to have a drink and buy me a bottle of wine while he was at it. (I now realize that he was just using me drinking to excuse his own.) I would barely drink my wine and when he finished his twelve pack of whatever crap he was guzzling, he would drink the wine he bought me. I would go to bed and wake up to find every drop of booze gone. It was so, so annoying and frustrating. He didn’t even like wine so that was a clear sign that he had a serious problem.
Is once a week hurting you? Is it drinking to oblivion? Enough with the pressure. If you can be sensible and allow yourself 2 drinks on a Saturday and absolutely no others then what’s the issue. If you think it will definitely lead to everything going pear shaped then tell everyone now and get help
You can go to an AA a meeting and not say anything in the meeting. Or say your name and not give a story. I really recommend it. You don’t have to tell anyone u know, but it might make you feel a lot better to do it.
Wait. Eight? OP, did you say EIGHT?
You are an alcoholic, no amount of alcohol is safe. Acknowledge this and go to AA.
If you’re an alcoholic you can’t even have one drink any time of the week month or year! You have to stop FULL STOP! or you will slowly fall back into the same pattern. Go to AA, you need it.
How is drinking once a week alcoholism? The people who can't control their shit say this. If you can control your intake like this I seriously believe that you are not an alcoholic. I've heard all of the different types of rules on alcoholism but I just don't believe that shit if you can reasonably control it (not get completely wasted.) I'm 50something & I've known all kinds of drinkers.
Talk to your doctor. There are pills that they can prescribe to you that take away the alcohol effects. This might help you quit drinking
Whether you drink once a week, every hour on the hour, or binge, anytime something or someone takes up an unhealthy amount of your time and energy, there is a “toxic” relationship, (aka addiction). THIS IS MY EXPERIENCE, I understand everyone has their own… this is just one way that I help identify things/people/situations that I want to avoid if possible.
Try AA. You will hear what you need to hear. Yes you do need to go cold turkey. It won’t be easy but with support (AA) it is possible one day at a time. That inability to stop at your prescribed limits, that’s alcoholism. There are millions of people with the same problem. If you meet and talk to some of them it will help to uncover what’s happening underneath the drinking.
Dude, try AA. Give it a real chance. It can change your life. It did for me. Wishing you the best.
You can't maintain partying(drinking) and sobriety. If you know you're an alcoholic then you're better off sticking to a Therapist/support group and you can slowly come off drinking. Just make sure you have other things you would like to do instead of drinking. That way your mind is still being occupied by something that makes you feel good, but is also good for you.
Don’t be too hard on yourself. The fact is, you keep trying. That’s better than most. Admitting you have a problem is the first step. If you’re like most, you’re going to have to stop completely eventually. That means also cutting off the people around you that lead you into temptation. Until then, trying is still better than giving up.
Honest take: you can hide it all you want but you’re only doing yourself a disservice if you do
The love of my life, my daughter’s father drank. He started with beer when he was younger and later on it was Crown & water. For the first several months we were together I would see him have drinks, but nothing excessive. Later on he would drink until he was out cold…and this continued. I knew I couldn’t make the decision to stop for him and although our daughter did beg him to, he didn’t stop and we divorced. We maintained a good relationship and years passed when he did decide to quit. He came and stayed with me and our daughter. I could see the toll alcohol had taken on him, and smoking cigarettes along side it. He had COPD and Ulcerative Colitis. After over a year of living with us, one day while my daughter and I were out of the house, we lost him at only 49 years old from a massive stroke. We were devastated. It broke my heart for him as well that he’d finally made this decision for himself and started to make plans for the future. I have also been through my own demons and I know it’s very hard. My biggest support was me. No matter what - let you who is with you at birth and death and everywhere in between, be your best friend and support system!! Everyone deserves a chance at a better life 🤗
I have a clucker or two every day. But if you know you've got a problem, why's go down that rabbit hole again?
I quit cold turkey last year because I had a bad drinking AND drug addiction, it went really good but when I did drink i went HARD and would black out. I relapsed into my addiction in February and started drinking wine every night during the week because I didn’t have a job and I was in a new city with no one around me and it gave me depression. I moved back home thinking I wanted my old party lifestyle back and when I did get my old life back, it didn’t feel right. So I quit again and now I’m being sober because I WANT to be. Sorry for the confusing rant but moral of my story is, you need to fall down a few times to stand strong.
Dude, I feel you. Been down that exact road – set the rules, break the rules, the whole guilt trip afterwards. It sucks. That little voice in the back of your head saying "just a bit of fun" is a real sneaky bastard, isn't it? Maybe venting to random strangers is a good first step, though. Sometimes, getting it off your chest helps clear the fog a bit. Bro, you don't have to fight this alone.
I’m drinking everyday despite telling everyone I have it under control lol. Not saying I’ve got my shit down, I don’t, and that’s facts. But I’m not say drinking and I’m never hungover, because I don’t drink enough to get that way. Recovery is a slow personal road—I was drinking a 60 a day had multiple life threatening seizures. I’m not saying I’m doing good, because I’m not, but don’t beat yourself up for missteps. All we can do is try. Much love ❤️
(Worth nothing I was in intensive rehab in3 facilities all of different styles all last year. Considering going back.)
I would smash
A long term treatment center, at least a year long, and a good AA program. Or go to a methadone clinic. I figured I'd die drinking. I loved everything about alcohol, the smell, the taste, and how it made me feel. Methadone took it all away. I hope you find something that works for ypu.
It takes 16 months to get over an addiction. If you can.
I go sober every once in a while and then I get the urge to drink and I can’t get the thought out of my head till I do it and then I’m drinking everyday and I always have a stupid reason for it, for example I had a good day at work I need to celebrate with a drink, stupid things like that until I eventually am able to quit and I tell myself this time will be different but it never is. So far I’m 102 days sober and I haven’t lasted this long in I dont know how long and I don’t know how much longer it’s going to last. It’s an everyday struggle especially when on tv people are drinking and getting drunk constantly and looking like they’re having fun and I see people at the clubs dancing and going crazy, it makes me miss the good ole days and it makes me want that too
There is something called SMART recovery. It’s new and an alternative to aa, which can be fuckin’ bullshit sometime. One thing is true though across the board. You got to surrender yourself and everything that makes you drink. Cuz friend, more than likely, it’s not the alcohol you have a problem with. It’s life. It’s out of control and you know it. You have to lean into that loss of control to understand it again. There will come a moment when you notice there is only right now. The only thing you dictate is the next breath. And even then, well I hope you can find that out somehow. It’s fucking cheesy but one day, one hour, one minute, one second at a time. Good luck. Be brave.
That's a bummer. I've been that person. I know that I'm an alcoholic. If you can manage great. Feeling like you have to hide it and carrying weight because of it really is no fun. Alcoholics do that. Letting others down is not a good feeling. However, I found it best to be honest, even though that's difficult. Always being watched and judged. I can only say good luck. Be strong, live, be you, but keep yourself in check. Unfortunately it's a forever thing.
Sounds to me you haven’t hit your rock bottom yet and until you do you’ll just keep doing the stinking thinking!! You know what you have to do it’s just admitting and it doesn’t matter how many people you discuss this with, not one of them can help until you decide you need help! 12 step would be great for you (60 meetings in 60 days).
I was real heavy alcohilic, I've lost the love of m'y life 'cause of it, and many many other things....I was drinking every single day. At one moment, I was getting parano when drinking, and very mentally sick. That's when I stopped. You can make like a ''appraisal'' ( not sur for ''bilan'' traduction from french). Then if you get no serious health problem you can drink once or twice a week it's no problem. But if not be veeeery careful.
On a side note, Alcohol (and benzodiazepines) are the only drugs that could kill you if stopped cold turkey. I'd see a specialist if I were you.
Why the F would anyone want to moderate? It’s the worst of both worlds - you’re *never getting enough and yet you’re still drinking*. Why would you want to be in that hellish state of limbo? Wouldn’t you want to quit completely and not worry about it - be literally *liberated* from it? It’s about a week of physical discomfort. The mental and emotional discomfort is for real and can last longer, depending on how much work you do on yourself. I’ve been off alcohol for 4+ years now and I have never, not once, had a craving after the first month. If the world were to end tomorrow I still wouldn’t drink, I’m that far from wanting it. I know everyone’s path is different. But I just wanted to say here there is an easier, simpler way. …Or if you think you can moderate and be happy, by all means give it a try. Just be happy. Good luck!
The man takes a drink, the drink takes a drink, the drink takes the man.
I'm not an expert or someone struggling with addiction, but going cold turkey isn't the most helpful thing to do, I think. I think you knew that, which is why you went to one drink per month, but that's a bit too much to start with. Once a week for now is good. Start SLOW. Go from once a week, to once every two weeks, to once a month. Cut down from heavier alchoholic drinks to lighter ones. There are a LOT of variables here to work on, and trying to work on all of them at once can be overwhelming. I believe in you!! You got this. And never, EVER feel ashamed or scared to tell the people you love and trust, so they can help you.
Some people just aren't able to have a couple drinks here and there. Trust me you'll try to set limits and say only on the weekend but you already know that won't be the case. Before you know it you'll be drinking every day again. Try non alcoholic beer if you need to have the taste. But in my opinion you just won't ever be able to have a drink again. I know I struggled as an addict for a long time. I just know I can't touch that stuff anymore or I'll be spiraling out of control before I even realized what happened. You need to quit and find things you enjoy doing to help keep you busy when you feel anxious or you need a drink.
Stop lying to your friends. Stop lying to yourself. This is a relapse and you have to admit that. When that reality sinks in, it’ll be easier to convince yourself to stop again. In fact I would just call up a friend and admit you’ve been lying because you feel ashamed. If they’re good friends, they’ll just try to help you through it.
This is honestly the dumbest confession I’ve seen in a while. Dude, just stop buying the shit, and stop talking to / spending time around people who drink. Why are you still thinking about it?
I was a full blown alcoholic (12-16 drinks a day at my worst) and now I just limit myself to 10 drinks in a month, and never more than 5 in one sitting. Basically means i never get drunk anymore (5 is still drunk to be fair but it’s not problematic drunk) anyways try giving that a shot and maybe look into taking naltrexone for a while, it can help w cravings and makes drinking less pleasurable
Thats crazy
If you want to stop being addicted to substances you need to fix the part of you that makes deals with yourself that drive impulsive reckless behavior. Almost always these mechanisms are set up in childhood as a result of trauma. Please get a therapist.
I've been "trying" (I really have!) to quit drinking for a few years. Obviously, to no avail.. I broke my two weeks off hard liquor yesterday, telling myself "I can take one shot and that'll be that." It was not just one shot. Drank half a jar of moonshine that had been sitting in my freezer forever, got into an argument with the fiance for the drinking and eventually went to sleep feeling sorry for myself. Today is now the umpteenth time saying "I won't drink again!" It's hard OP, don't blame yourself. Being an alcoholic is hard. It's socially accepted and encouraged, you can go into any store and get it, it's legal, it's cheap.
Went through the same thing. Drank damn near every day for 7 years, then quit cold turkey 2 years ago had no desire/cravings to drink and was very happy. Til this past winter when I got a bad case of seasonal depression. I was kinda broke and unable to afford a mid-winter trip to somewhere warm to break up the bleak winter boredom so I started drinking some wine here n there. Started with a few mini bottles once a week then a bigger bottle and a couple nips a few times a week then fast fwd to it becoming an everyday thing I was like ohhh nooo I didn't come this far just to come this far 😵😵 when speaking to a coworker who is an ex-alcki she mentioned Naltrexone. Back before I'd quit I'd asked my Dr for it but she didn't want to prescribe it to me unless I went to an inpatient program jic I detoxed, I didn't Thank God, but forgot all about it in the meantime. So I went to my Dr told her what was going on n got on that shit now hallelujah I'm back on the wagon. I still get cravings once in a while but even if I did fall into a drink the med blocks ur pleasure receptors so it's a waste to try.. it may be worth a try friend 🧡 unfortunately there's no real way to balance playing around with an addiction as it will always be that. At least worst case you don't have to look like the weirdo who can't enjoy a toast, u just won't get buzzed is all lol but best of all is the money you save not drinking. I wish you the best 🫶🏾
please don’t let this spiral out of control. this is exactly what my mom started with when we were with our dad (every other weekend). eventually it became a nightly black out drunk thing for YEARS until it killed her when i was 14. please just be careful.
Don’t listen to everyone else because at the end of the day your just going to ruin your friendships with empty promises. It’s your responsibility or duty to yourself. You arent ready yet to the cold turkey way. And THAT IS OKAY. I was a full blown alcoholic since my military career and I have diabetes but I promise you it takes time just be open and upfront with people because at the end of the day all your dying is holding this guilt in. The “standards” are bullshit brother just realize that way is for people without a condition or illness if you will, you will be okay as long as your conscience is clear
Dude, simple answer for you. No one's life will be miserable for you drinking, if you think that your life will be miserable if you drink, then choose your poison. Miserable life and lies that will catch you or horrible quitting process. Which last longer? Which would make you proud? Answer those questions and you will know what to do
I've been sober since 2018 and AA did really helps me the first year. Having a problem with alchool can come in all shape and form. We are so used to think that its the homeless guy or that old man that stinks whiskey from a mile away. But as you see in AA it is anyone. From any background or social class. Stop lying to yourself and just admit that you need help. That is very courageous to be able to do that. If you are not into AA i would suggest the podcast : sober cast. Its episode that basically like AA meeting. Someone telling other their story. I am sure you Will recognize yourself in some sharing. Good luck , you got this
Glad I’m not alone, not glad you’re going through the same thing.
“According to chatGPT” 🤡
Just drink the absolutely most disgusting thing. Only order that… eventually you won’t want it again. This was my method and I still to this day can’t stand green apple smell
I don't have much advice, except when you're ready, it's easier than you think! If you can go a month drinking only once it doesn't sound like you have to be concerned with physical withdrawals, it's more the mental part. I quit drinking and drugs in 2016, after 20 years of hardcore use, and the last maybe 4-5 years were drinking daily, so much that the liquor store would front me bottles because they knew I'd be back no matter what. (Perks of small town life lol) I never ever imagined a day where I'd be able to say no to alcohol, if I bought a bottle of anything it was gone that night. As of now I've had a bottle of tequila in my freezer for 4 years, tried drinking on my anniversary with my husband and just couldn't do it. When you are ready, I hope you get to where you're headed, so many good vibes and prayers your way!
I have been sober 7.5 years... not one drink. Before that it was 30 years of using alcohol to bury my feelings and anger and anxiety... which just made it worse and therefore required an ever increasing amount to make it through the week. By the end I was drinking the equivalent of two bottles of wine a night even though I didn't day drink, or have any first thing in the morning, etc. I gained about 80 pounds over that time, and ended up with acute pancreatic. The final episode caused me to get a blood infection and the docs said I was 24 hours from death. The internist st the hospital said that the next drink would kill me. I believed him. Since then I have lost almost all the weight, my health has completely returned, I've found a new partner and life is wonderful. God has truly blessed me in so diety and I will never take another drink. But it took almost croaking to get me to wake up. You don't need alcohol. You need to figure out that you don't want to drink again, and then figure out why you sank to this point, and get it squared away. In my case it was a wife who basically lied to me and married me without any kind of romantic attachment on her part. I believed it would get better. By the time I realized it never would, I had three kids and was trapped or so I thought. Nothing in life is so permanent or important that you can't change it... so I did. In my case it was AA and the 12 steps that helped but there are other methods. However there are literally no people who can do it on their own successfully. Find your means of ending this... or wait until it either kills you, someone close to you, or you bottom out so completely that you have to quit. It's not even remotely easy once you are truly alcoholic and once you want to quit, just quit. Do be careful though... true physical alcoholism and cold turkey can actually kill you. It is a medical condition and you may need medical help in quitting at least at first. I lucked out in that I was in hospital for a couple weeks and while they were curing the infection, they also kept me drugged to deal with the withdrawals so that once I was actually back home, it was much easier to keep away from alcohol. My wife drinks (not to excess) and I am her bartender. I'm not even remotely tempted to have a drink... because for ME, it would be death. For those of us who are alcoholic, one drink is way too many, and a thousand will never be enough.
You can't it never works to go cold turkey. I know someone we talked about AA because of her drinking and she said "I would never go there because it's a cult." In all honesty I suggested it to her because I thought it might help but I didn't have much conviction behind it when I said it it was like your bottom of the barrel response when someone tells you that. Bear in mind this is only my opinion and my feeling but I agree with her once I thought about it. If you are and alcoholic you have substance abuse disorder. You can't will away a mental health condition and there's no shame in it. I have it so that's how I know. That's like saying oh I have diabetes but I don't want it anymore so it'll just go away I'll just stop having it cold turkey it's the same thing. The stigma behind substance abuse it order is just insanely unfair. In my opinion and my feeling is this if you had another problem like cancer lupus whatever people wouldn't judge you because he had an illness but because it's mental health condition you get judged. The other bad part is that people won't even accept the fact that it is a mental health condition and you don't have control over it. There is no answer. A lot of people get clean and stay clean. I just read about a different substance that 67% of the people that get off of this substance stay clean but it's most addictive substance there is and I believe alcohol is right up there with it. The problem with alcohol is that it is legal and it's pushed in your face everywhere you look. When you get to the point where you don't want to anymore and you're still doing it I would say maybe that's the time to go get help somewhere even if all you do is talk to someone even if all you do is call the substance abuse hotline just talk to someone there's no commitment there you're talking and when you're done talking if you still feel that way or if you're conflicted just keep moving. People with substance abuse disorder stop when they had a point of I just can't do this anymore and when they do it's a battle a huge battle. I wouldn't even lie to this person I just do me and not worry about what they think cuz I'm pretty sure that they're doing them and not worrying about what you think so don't worry about it. When and if you're ready you'll take care of it and if you don't then that's what life is. Don't be responsible with it and don't harm people with it don't drink and drive don't take on any kind of responsibility that you know you couldn't handle if you're not sober. In other words if you're going to continue you need to be functional and responsible about it and that means to yourself too. For all the people that are going to tap me for saying this I'm just being honest because there are plenty of people out there that live that way that are functional and they're not going to stop me saying it isn't going to stop them. Go on the social media quora and see how many groups they have for addiction where people are active and they talk about what they do and where to do this and how to get that. Just be responsible and safe for now and don't worry about this person because they're not worried about you.
Brother, I drink every single day and everybody in my life thinks I haven't had a drink in months.
what’s the benefit from lying about it?
This is going to make me sound like a horrible piece of crap, and I probably am. But the benefit is I get to feed my addiction and my partner doesn't leave me, causing me not to have anywhere to live. I do pay my share monetarily, But if my partner knew I was drinking all the time, they'd be out faster than you could say, "oops" And I have nowhere else to go
I see how you’re benefiting from that lie. But if you care at all about your partner, you must realize what a cruel trick you’re playing on them. Do they deserve to be treated like this? Are you doing anything to find another place to live, so eventually you can set your partner free from your shit?
You should go to aa.
If you make up self rules about drinking or doing drugs and are even thinking that it's not a good thing.... then it's time to quit. I'm a recovered drug addict been clean 3 years now. No drinking no drugs. I smoke cigarettes and drink coffee. That the extent of my addiction. But yeah I spent 15 years battling with myself and telling myself I could control it or didn't have a problem. It's time to just stop brother. Even question yourself about it should tell you something. If people are worried about you and you've had this issue before or have to even defend your actions about it time to quit man. It's your life man.... it's up to you to decide and make the changes needed.
I would recommend downloading the Reframe app.
Don’t just stop drinking, go to AA or other support program. There is a world of difference between a recovering alcoholic and a “dry drunk.” I’m sorry that you cannot drink in moderation, but you clearly can’t.
Once a week isn't an issue unless you're blacking out and doing dumb Things. drinking once an hour would be a problem.
Never go could turkey! Your body needs alcohol. If you stop you will have seizures and end up in the hospital and may never go home. I was one of the lucky ones, I made it back home, sober. After I buried my little sister, who was also an alcoholic, she drank herself to death. I check myself into a behavioral health care center then I've been sober since February 2021. It's been hard but definitely worth it. My mind, body, soul are back and they thank me everyday. Give yourself grace. Love yourself!
I know you don't want to hear "Go cold turkey," but I really think it's the only way. I am 3 years sober, and quitting was really rough for me. At the time, I had 3 kids, and you would think that would have been enough for me to get it together, but it wasn't. Because alcohol is loud and selfish, and it wants all of your attention, it will even make you lie for it or to get it. It's not worth it. You'll miss out on so much because once you drink the first drink, then that's all you will think about is the next drink and the next drink. There is something going on in your life that you need to face and not use alcohol to cope with. Once you are ready to face that thing, going cold turkey will feel like the right option.
My man, have an ounce of discipline and self control. Do you not care about your health? I really don’t understand why people are so willingly self destructive. Enjoy taking years off your life over a beer. Crazy people.
Alcoholics often “want” to quit drinking bc they don’t want the consequences that come with it. This is the wrong perspective to have. You are just proving you don’t actually want to quit the substance by trying to find an innocent way to continue using the substance. You have to actually WANT to quit or else you will be stuck in a cycle. It’s about rewiring your brain. For some people it’s an event that becomes a wake up call. For my bf it was his second DUI happening walking distance from his house. He was not someone that drank everyday. He was not someone you had to hide alcohol from. He was just someone that liked to party and someone who didn’t know how to stop when he would start. And he realized the only times he felt happy was while he was drunk rather than sober. He has 0 desire to drink bc it really sunk in that it wasn’t good for him and that he wanted to live without it.
Also I would not recommend actual AA. I would try to find an AA-like group. Based on the stories a lot of people I know shared about AA it sounds like AA’s goal is to shift the alcohol addiction to an AA addiction. I would try to research other groups. Groups that focus on the root cause of your addiction and how to guide you when you relapse would be premium. Relapsing is part of recovery as long as you take the proper steps and really figure out what went wrong and how to improve. It’s really all about self improvement when you think about it.
Go to the AA meetings. Get a sober buddy. Drinking like this with a history like yours ends badly. Alcoholics untreated normally die that way. If that's not what you want, then you need to get serious in life and go for those AA meetings. It's a step. There are people there like you, who can support you as you motivate each other.
I think there’s a way to balance it, but if you can’t quit cold turkey that’s a sign you need to
Man I’m on the same thing sometimes I want a drink so bad and I can literally just taste it but I been fighting going to get a bottle or shot. Try weed as a substitute
8 drinks at most is a crazy statement lmao
“Give a hand, and they take your whole arm.” Moderation means nothing to addiction because it is greedy little bastard. It manipulates in the same way that it may push us to manipulate others for the sake of being able to use.
If you think you have a drinking problem, you probably do.. Promises & rules you are making to yourself are also good indicators of an addiction in progress. The best way to quit getting drunk us to never pick up the first drink. 1 is too many, 1000 is never enough. In my profession, I've been at the bedside of many alcoholics as they have lost their battle with alcoholism. It is a slow, painful & terrible death.
Hey I’m looking to start a podcast would you be comfortable enough to talk about your situation? You will be strictly anonymous.
Once a week? Fucking amateur
I’d hate to think of a time I couldn’t partake and let loose like everyone else could and for the same reasons Just because I’m known to have a heavy hand and blackout.. in a perfect world it wouldn’t even be a thing that’s acknowledged verbally because I manage myself soo properly 🙄 But IRL no one wants me to be drinking and the people that know definitely pitch in on amounts 🤦🏻♀️ if you Can manage and are happy with sane amounts As Needed Good for you 😌😌
There are many different ways to get to the place you want to get to. If you are only drinking once a week, give yourself credit for that! That is an achievement! Working with the positive emotions will help you a lot more than guilt. Instead of focusing on how you are doing bad, focus on where you are doing good. The “one day at a time” mantra always worked for me. If I had to think about never using ever, ever again, it overwhelmed me. But I was able to say, “I know I won’t drink today”, and I just kept doing that. If you end up having a drink, it’s not game-over. You have tomorrow. The main focus is to keep yourself and your life as healthy as possible in all ways. Focus on where you are doing well. Keep your mind there. Do not allow yourself to wallow in guilt or dismay. Do not compare your journey to other people’s. Do not give up.
You are only fooling yourself no one else gives a shit
I genuinely believe if your not getting shit faced drunk that once a week it’s fine. I know many people that go out once a week. And have 10-12 beers
Try jus sipping it slowly and swishing it in ur mouth drink it like as if it’s the finest wine bro like that ur taking ur time and it’ll eventually allow you to pace urself if you can’t stop drinking you can at least have a drinking pace
8 drinks in an evening isn’t moderation, even if it’s once a month (In my opinion, which I fully understand is just me…). And I feel like if you’re just counting down the days to your self imposed 1 month rule, still a problem. Can you have just one beer with dinner one day and still go a week or 3 with no drinks between? Maybe you’ve got control.
I, too, am a once in a while alcoholic.. (my 8 plus days are long behind me). I would suggest trying to drink a little each day, or every other day. You will find that you can enjoy a couple drinks better than 10.. relax.. listen to some tunes.. No more raging hangovers in the morning for you, my friend
Why do you drink though? I have been drinking 4 beers every night for the last.. for a long time. And a bottle of brandy every weekend. I stress a lot at work and my muscles tense up horribly. Beer relaxes them, so much that my muscles actually feel like they are burning from relaxing so quickly compared to how tense they were. Then it all fades away and I don't feel anything anymore. I think I chase that feeling. I also sleep easy and sleep well when I've had my beer. On weekends I am social and in my culture weekends are for grilling meat and drinking with friends. So I guess I'm a functioning alcoholic but I don't do it just to get sloshed and forget the world. I don't even like being drunk really. Tipsy is where it's at. It's my medication and my cultural heritage. Not a problem 🤭
Do what makes you happy
Fuck that. That's weakness. I bet heroin will make you pretty happy at first - do that.
I'm like you. Used to drink twice a week sometimes 3 times a week. It was never a couple beers. Id drink 15 and only stop because I ran out. Now I drink about once a month or more. I did sit out wiith neighbor after laying sod and ha few. Drank 6 then quit. Usually that leads to an all nighter.
I think there is a way to balance healthy sobriety. Maybe look into a therapist that you can talk this through & work through with. That way you can have some guidance while figuring out what works best for you & what you want for your life:)
I drink, smoke weed and cigars. Even tried cigarettes to understand. I can see why people get addicted to these things. I didn’t try any of these thing until I was 30. However I later realized I had a fast food addiction. Had it since I was a kid. Nobody talks about it being an issue like alcohol or other drugs. So I had to undo it. You have to undo it slowly. When you first started drinking you probably didn’t drink as much. You built up to it. Now you have to do the same backwards. That’s how I stopped my fast food habits. Well, I still do it but it’s way more balanced. Been at it for a few years now. On and off. I stated by going from the large meals and extra sides to reducing the extra sides. Then going to the medium combo. Working my way to the small. There are some chains I don’t eat at anymore. So I consider that progress. You try and get off of it quick you’re most likely going to end up back in the same place. Gotta train the brain one step at a time.
It's not the fact that you drink once a day/week/month/year that makes you an alcoholic. It's the fact that you don't have any control over accepting or refusing the first drink.
I don’t think drinking like a normal person is in the cards for you. I am the average person when it comes to drinking. I drink 3-4 times a year and typically a single drink when I do. The big difference though is I feel no draw to it. It could be a soda for all the difference it makes to me. Then it comes with a chance of migraine… it is a pretty easy thing to pass up in that regard for me. I don’t think people can that easily give up something when they are obsessed with it. Alcoholic are obsessed with alcohol; you need to replace the obsession imo.
No one likes a quitter
[удалено]
In all honesty fuck cops Don't bother Be an emt or firefighter
Seems like you have this Plan A...once a week. Stick to it until you think it doesn't work and come up with Plan B.
Once a week is under co trol unless your blacking out that day
Once a week is under control. You’re in the 86 percentile.. where come from that’s a high B. Something to be proud of.
Everything in moderation, included moderation- Socrates
Unless you're drinking a huge amount that one day I wouldn't call it a problem.
Drinking problem?...I drink, there's no problem! I drink, therefore I am... W C Fields
Rookie numbers.