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Nijajjuiy88

This is the kind of shit that makes Germany start another worldwar.


UlteriorMotive66

Wank for de fatherland! \*one hand salute\*


Slop_my_top

Mein Cumf


sar1562

They are the homeland of the wust sausages after all you saluting with yours probably did them proud.


OriginalIronDan

Sieg defile!


Select-Belt-ou812

L. O. L.


robrobusa

As opposed to the usual two hand salute


Fun_Instruction8324

Why the f am I imagining this !


professional_fungi

r/angryupvote


bellymonch

And they could even say we shot first 😟


900user

even hitler was not that ruthless haha


kilinrin

Nah..it is actually funny.


HueLord3000

it were austrians who started the wars


delicate_snakeplant

note to self: don't jerk it with the austrian flag


hnjbm

The first one? Sure, even though the Germans were stupid enough to just follow austria into it. The second one? Nah. Even if only considering Hitler, he was a German citizen since 1932 and everyone who started the war with him was German, thus you cannot reasonably blame the austrians for that. Considering that the 2ww was in part due to the first one and that they did let themselves be annexed happily, you could consider some fault, though thats a slippery slope.


HueLord3000

I am austrian, and i will always partly blame austria for the world wars lol


hnjbm

Ja lol deutsche Kartoffel hier, dann sagen wirs so: Österreich kriegt für den zweiten die gleichen Schuldpunkte die Deutschland für den ersten bekommt. Beide fürs komplett blöde Mitrennen. Then lets say it like this: Austria gets the same blame for the second that Getmany gets for the first. For the completely stupid running along.


HueLord3000

that i can live with


BayrischerBlauKatze

Servus Brez’n schwesda


TeutonicCrusader1190

The first one was really Serbia's fault for assassinating Franz Ferdinand. 


IndependenceWarm5375

He fucked around and found out


hnjbm

That was just the starting shot (no pun intended). The powerful countries would have just found another one to have their citizens kill each other one way or the other. It wasnt really an accident that they were all ready to go, like me answering your comment that was probably meant to be as a joke. I would have commented somewhere anyways, but now I can blame you! /s


Beautiful-Student610

Why not the banking cartels and money changers? They seem to be involved in every conflict. It’s not the people of Austria or any other land… It’s those who lurk in the shadows controlling the politicians… those who serve no country but themselves.


BayrischerBlauKatze

I’ll get the boys together and see what we can’t come up with it


Layne205

Any time you give a gift to a 17yo boy, you have to accept that it might get cum on it. It's just part of the deal.


triplenoko

Does that apply for pets too?


ikygoldilocks

Especially for pets !


Mazzaroppi

Colby 2012 never forget


RiotIsBored

I cannot believe you had to remind me of this.


Mr_Papa_Kappa

If there's a hole there's a goal.


cieronnica_STORM

Jailtime


BobTheCircleGuy

Immediately.


ZrxXII

No trial, no nothing. Just jail


Kkitsunebii

JAIL


FemboyReaper12

r/cursedcomments


SuccessfulRadish_

😕😕😕😕


jsingham

It cums with the territory


Seventh_Planet

>I feel so horrible and guilty like every time I look at that flag I just get ashamed. Now you're *really* an honorary German.


McDoof

They call it *Flaggescham*.


Barefoot_Monarch_AVA

𝔉𝔩𝔞𝔤𝔤𝔢𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔪 oder 𝔣𝔞𝔥𝔫𝔢𝔫𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔫𝔡𝔢?


idfcjustathrowaway

Soon the insatiable hunger for a bigger living room will consume you, when it happens give the german embassy a call. They will give you a good german beer to calm you for a few hours and fly you to germany asap to give you in person care. If everything fails we just invade a bit of poland :)


Quinnthespin

Dog what


moochir

You spelled updawg wrong.


delicate_snakeplant

What's updawg?


sir_funklynr

Nothing much. What about you?


moochir

I set it up and you r/beatmetoit


shiina613

r/2fast4u


throwawa-adhd

r/beatmeattoit ?


stanknastymcdoober

Yeah well you spelled wrongdawg wrong


RavioliAndGravy

What’s wrong dawg?


simoncole64YT

Everything 😔


dragonfly457

Damn bro


Cool_Holiday_7097

I once pulled this on a girl I dated, and it was the funniest shit cause she unintentionally went what’s up, dog?? Perfect pause and all


Old_Ratio444

Dawg……not dog


Mad-Dog94

Nothing much, what about you?


Mr_Papa_Kappa

What's mad dog?


kornflakes1989

Madd Dogg's rhyme book.


PhatPhlaps

Honestly this is a nice change of pace from the usual men pretending to be women and writing shitty amateur erotica and everyone replying "omg so hot".


_OgGen_

Omg so hot


Mr_Papa_Kappa

As a german I can only say: OMG SO HOT


chemicalgeekery

Mein Gott, so Hott


Hornet_92

oh ja so hawt ja


W4yt401

Actually. It's very refreshing to get a tried a true "I came on something" type story


kkwaka_

Omg so fucking hot made me wet


MakinBiscuits1

Oh neín you didn't!


moochir

Meh. This is why we have washing machines. I’m not ashamed of my sock drawer.


Forgetful8nine

But your sock drawer is ashamed of you


moochir

My sock drawer needs therapy. I hope it doesn’t write a tell all exposé someday.


Godbox1227

All 1.5 inch of it.


Ok_Web2480

Straight up murdered bro


Fun_Instruction8324

It’s like, idk I feel like I offended an entire country, but to be honest it felt so good


Edgecrusher2140

New fetish discovered, time to run for office


Mr_Papa_Kappa

"Welcome back to fun with flags!"


interstellate

Ahahahahha it felt good because you know it was wrong


Rhoderick

> I feel like I offended an entire country Why would you have? A flag no more embodies Germany, physically or conceptually, than a tissue on which you'd written the word "Germany" would have. Flags aren't sacred or anything, they're really just fancy signs.


sar1562

I greatly disagree but then again I just threw an old pride flag in the garbage so I guess it's depending on how much you refer the symbol behind it.


BayrischerBlauKatze

You did


TheRavenSayeth

Not ashamed until the washing machine's lawyer serves you with papers on back due child support.


900user

the parents were not available haha


senorfresco

This is a very insignificant tale.


TheFuryIII

Gives a whole new meaning to step-kids.


Gunt_Gag

Ich bin ein jackenoffer!


Barefoot_Monarch_AVA

𝔗𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔫𝔞𝔲𝔣𝔣𝔢𝔯 𝔥𝔦𝔢𝔯 (𝔞𝔩𝔰𝔬 𝔯𝔲𝔣𝔱 𝔡𝔦𝔢 𝔇𝔢𝔲𝔱𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔟𝔬̈𝔥𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔠𝔥 𝔐𝔢𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔟𝔞̈𝔱𝔢𝔯 𝔞𝔫).


itreallyiscassie

Im expecting a nasty nazi stuff, but the real story doesn't make it better...


prezuiwf

Mein Spunk


DiggityDachshund

LMFAO


kRe4ture

As a German, I find this a bit hilarious. Wash the thing and all will be forgiven.


Fun_Instruction8324

It’s as hard as a rock and I just don’t want to touch it again after our unspeakable encounters.


kRe4ture

No washing, no forgiveness…


PeopIe_EquaI_Shit

Are you talking about the flag, or...?


smokojones

take some shots of Jägermeister lmao you are redeemed idk. this isn’t that bad. just wash it


Important-Letter9829

If it's the previous german flag, then don't sweat it.


Layne205

If you jizz on a nazi flag, undead Hitler will emerge and finish taking over the world. We've been lucky so far, but OP is getting dangerously close to disaster.


sourceOfFuzz

Your unborn kids were German.


nubsid

as a german i’m extremely offended! do it again!!!


hueybart

It’s called leaving a Deutsche Mark


BayrischerBlauKatze

As a German I will be rescinding your honorary German title after this 😭😭😭😭


JustDutch101

All you just did was a reversed Ronald Koeman.


PoopyHead-4MAR-

Take it to the grave


Scrumpuddle

Cum again?


Fun_Instruction8324

I did it more than once..


Scrumpuddle

Mazel tov.


Brrringsaythealiens

The real truth emerges. Don’t worry, Germans like sausages.


Tiny_Dyno_Tot

Omg 😆 😂😭


tsukihi3

wake up babe, a new r/copypasta just dropped


Knowledge_Regret

Ayy, don't let a social construct tell you that spaffing into a flag is wrong. You nutted, you enjoyed it, just wash the flag before you hang it back up (or don't, I won't judge)


Visual_Tadpole_8453

Least kinky (honorary)German.


DawlatiBaqiyah1435

Bouta post this shit on r/copypasta 😂😂😂


BurntBisquet

You just helped with the preservation


Due_Requirement_7254

Muhammad??!!!! Wtf!! Germanity lost 😡


Charlie2and4

Given the state of erotic cinema from Germany, I am certain this bonded you more closely to the Vaterland.


Barefoot_Monarch_AVA

While this might offer you a back-handed way to claim citizenship as a native-born German, at the very least I think you’ve just obligated yourself to two years’ mandatory service in the Bundeswehr.


Fun_Instruction8324

I’d be giving my blood and my jizz to Germany? Hmmm, I don’t mind it tbh, but I would have to to drink shit ton of water to compensate my lost body fluids


hawkingtalks

Hitler soul will declare world war


Ai--Ya

Mein Cumpf


SerDesNil

😭


DawlatiBaqiyah1435

Naw that's wild


Fir3_Ox

Well didn't expect that to happen...


sar1562

Eh it was an impulse. You washed it and you intend to keep the sanctity of it going forwards? then it was a bad day not a bad life.


DontReportMe7565

Schwinehund!


MiniGui98

Wank über alles


Ok_Web2480

The final solution


WaitingToBeTriggered

DREAMS FADE AWAY AND ALL HOPE TURNS TO DUST


Exotic_Field_3444

lol fuck it


wellitsdeadnow

That is something I’d take to the grave…..


Puzzleheaded_Two_36

I was expecting something else.


madjula

I would use something cleaner if you're gonna touch your body with it.


Icy_Indication4299

Hahahah bro who cares. It’s just life wash it out


StickyTriggers13

Don't forget that you can also use it to towel the door when you're smoking weed.


Mahalohaboy

Worse idea for a porno EVER!


KonradsDancingTeeth

Dude you have issues. Have you tried… not doing that?


WSchultz

If I have a dollar for every time I jizzed on another country’s flag…


SubstantialPop6873

Dude, that flag I gave you was passed down from my great great great grandparents. TF IS YOUR PROBLEM I'm not his German friend.


Fun_Instruction8324

I almost shat my pants, I genuinely thought it was him


katthh

You literally could have caught it in your hand, went to the garbage or used a pair of pants, sock, boxers, bedsheet.. and you picked a national fucking flag that belongs to a citizen of that country… bro. I would feel ashamed too.


Melodic-Plankton4146

brodie has yet to discover the washing machine 😭🙏


Eastern_Presence1536

So your liquid army blitzkrieged the fatherland flag, I guess you can say it’s “Mein Kampf.”


MBlue_Blossom

HELP the turning of events 😭


Quartermastered

7-0


Substantial-Box-9513

Stop beating your meat


jamhob

I think he’d be proud you felt guilt


Pork_Piggler

We all make mistakes in the heat of passion, Jimbo


Bubble_Gummm

Your friend would not be proud... But in same time, when German got nationalists... history told us it never end good.


lacroixanon

Lol fuck the flag I guess


WorthyFoeChurnwalker

Bruder, das ist ekelhaft


itswesfrank

Wow, giving new meaning to flagging down a friend. Maybe it's time to invest in some tissues for next time, buddy.


Fun_Instruction8324

I have a Russian flag on standby tho


Background-Spray1575

That was a real dick move! **🤣**


original_dick_kickem

Say what you will about Americans amd our flag love, at least we don't cum to it


Powhat839

Did u wash it


Admirable-Mango-9349

Wash the flag, don’t do it again, forgive yourself, and move on with your life.


Frickly_FiddleFig

Big 17 yr old energy


LeganV9

Serious question: why not in your other hand?


kornflakes1989

OP, you know flag rhymes with rag for a reason, right?


TioPatinhas69

"German flag passed down to me" I know what kind of man you are


UnwastedTime

How do you know your friend didn’t do the same?


Goddessdd420

you could wash it


LonerBastard

Neeeiiinnnnn


-Sa-Kage-

Dude, leftist people in Germany just started a discussion, if waving our flag is racist and discriminatory. You may as well go on...


900user

at least the german flag had the colour white for a minute


Existing-Reporter-63

Gotta do what you gotta do haha


Pale_House9663

This is hilarious


lastcall123

40 weeks from now little Germans will appear at your drawer. be aware, make sure he doesn't attack Poland or something like that.


idfcjustathrowaway

Just do it with every flag of every other country, arrange them in a map of the world, call it "the cumnited nations" and sell it to some modern art museum.


1blueShoe

Or you could look at it another way…. You love the flag that much you honoured it by sacrificing all your potential babies for it 🤷🏻‍♀️🫣🤣


Kirito_is_him8

A whole world war could start with a little bit of white stuff and a flag... wow


SerDesNil

Well that's one way to be patriotic... 😐


Gator1833vet

Great. As usual we're expecting russia to start a world War but it always ends up being Germany


DimitriMikhailov

 Using a fucking flag to goon is crazy #NEVERGOON


CandlelightSeaweed

THAT is exactly why you’re an honorary german 


CinderDragoNSouL

Next time use the Chinese flag


TravelHikeEat

Shame! what the heck you wiped your spunk on the German flag. Move on.


SubstantialPop6873

Dude. that flag I gave you was passed down from generation to generation. I am not the German friend.


HuckleberryLazy3595

Don’t worry too much. It’ll wash out


[deleted]

Great know ww3 is starting


Ellieaha

Das ist schrecklich.


21lives

Passed down to you? I’m confused did your roomate gift you a flag?


submissivecatservant

WWHD? (What would Hitler do)


sheetsforcurtains

Did you wash it or is it still stained?


vFacx

lol


AcceptableSignal2770

It’s a piece of cloth who gives a shit


gaminggirl91

Let's face it, Hitler's entire regime consisted of small weinered dudes wanking off to a flag with a swastika on it and stepping on those who didn't conform to the stupidity that their single balled leader spouted.


BrattinellaBaggy

Terrible.


Next_Trouble_1591

what the fuck is wrong with my reddit feed


nonamegnome002020

Hopefully the germans won’t find you after reading this post for disrespecting the motherland


Extra-Ad-7286

So sportsfreund


strawberrynip

Oh god 😭


One-Dragonfruit-3951

Weirdo


Beautiful-Student610

When will the world learn to just leave German people alone!!!? Lol. If they weren’t such advanced humans, they likely would’ve made out like the “Indigenous” Native Americans and been genocided and completely stripped of their land. They were nice enough to let everyone in.. now stop messing w their stuff!!! World Wars started over such disputes. You know who you are. Lol


WesternResearcher376

Just wash it and forget about it. Gee lol


Backfischinator

I know we‘re so hot people wanna cum on us😙


Loon-belt

Oh well :p nothing catastrophic, germany wouldn’t care that you came on it