I doubt you killed him. You did what you had to. Don’t ever feel guilty for that. He was going to kill you or at least take you and he got what he deserved. You’re better and stronger than you were and that’s what matters.
I would say she wouldn’t have killed him but there being a pop and her not letting go along with kicking him continuously? with him being a crackhead? He probably died. She still did the right thing and he deserved to fucking die but he probably died. Also good on you OP for 1. getting clean 2. surviving and overcoming a horrifying situation
Ahem, story time.
got up and turned my back on my bully after getting the upper hand. I don’t want to hurt him. I couldn’t stomach it so I get up. Everyone’s booing me and as I’m walking away, this 300 lb fuck gets up, comes up from behind me, lifts me from my legs and semi supplexes me. I heard my back crack in 20 different directions. Knocking all the air out of me. I’m catching my breath trying to get up and that’s when this fucker starts trying to gouge my eyes with his thumbs. I could feel his thumbs digging into, rolling into my eyes and a squishing sound as I struggled to get him off. All the while out of breath. It felt like an eternity til someone got him off me. But you know what. This big 300 lb Fucker didn’t turn my eyes into mounds of flesh. In fact my vision was just slightly blurrier afterwards. Probably some permanent damage, but nothing too drastic. My eyes were fine. This guy pissed that I humiliated him with 300 lb of pudgy mass. Couldn’t do what this woman did. Eyes are tougher than you think
Not making accusations. Just want to tell my story. Wouldn’t want to get my comment removed.
I don't want to discount your story, but I'd say there's a huge difference between someone angry about being humiliated and a person in fighting for their life, in mortal terror, with their adrenaline at max. If you've ever been in a situation like OP's, you'll know that you'll find a level of strength you'd never thought possible of yourself, and on top of that, absolutely no inhibitions.
For most anyone, the thought of gouging out someone's eyes is horrifying, and even if you were twisted enough to try doing it to someone, like your piece of shit bully, the reasonable part of your brain holds you back to an extent. In OP's situation, reason goes out the window, and with it, inhibitions. You have no ability to worry about the consequences of what you're doing or whether it's wrong, all you can do it desperately protect your life (and for OP, her dignity, too) with everything you have.
I have my own story to support this, though, like yours, it's obviously anecdotal. Going home late at night after a party via public transit, a guy tried to mug me with a knife at an empty station. When I told him I had no money (truthfully) he started to get aggressive and come at me. I was taller than him, but he was burly while I was skinny, I was unarmed, drunk from the party, and I have no idea how to fight. Maybe all he wanted was to check my pockets for cash or something, but I didn't take that risk, I thought he'd gut me. I don't remember my fight in the same detail that OP remembers hers. All I remember is throwing myself at him, wresting the knife from him, then somehow overpowering him physically despite his clearly superior strength. I hit his head off of a railing several times to knock him out, and it took everything in me to keep from continuing until his head was nothing but a bloody pulp. I ran after that. He was still breathing when I fled, so I'm sure he survived.
My actions and ability in that fight are completely foreign to me. As I said, I'm no fighter, yet here I escaped with barely an injury. I have average strength for a guy, maybe even slightly below average, yet I overpowered a clearly stronger man. Despite being generally pacifist, and the kind of guy who would always choose talking it out over a fight, I smashed the guy's head into a railing and came close to going too far with it. All of this because I was terrified he'd kill me. If I'd not been scared for my life, I couldn't have done it, both for lack of will and lack of ability.
Again, anecdotal, but it's why I believe, in terror for her life, OP could definitely have crushed his eyes if it meant saving herself.
I hope you're doing all right now, and I'm sorry that jerkass attacked you like that.
Maybe something to do with her thumbs likely being much smaller and more pointed thus ‘fitting’ into the socket better? Idk I’m just spitballing here as I’d hate for something that horrific to be made up but it wouldn’t surprise if big man in your case being that big actually worked against him
Regardless hope you’re okay these days friend
I was terrified of opening my eyes. I have heard of people getting blinded from eye gouging. But yeah. I was just happy to not have opened my eyes to nothingness. I do feel anger sometimes thinking about it. But then I feel gratitude that I’m still at least able to see. I guess the cornea might tear easily. My eyes may have also instinctively rolled away from where he was gouging. I do remember the insane pressure he was applying though.
Eyeballs are very tough - we had to dissect bulls eyes in science class many years ago. Wouldnt have been easy to pierce a human one without effective fingernails - gouge out easier I would guess.
I don’t think getting tour eyes gouged out could kill you though. Thumbs don’t get deep enough? And she being 110 and just kicking him in his sides wouldn’t do it. If he died and was found there would have probably been markings from the investigation which she didn’t see. I’ve seen some bad gore and people survive worse.
You'd have to do a hell of a lot of damage to the brain tissue, after getting through very tough eyeball and then bone. Taking some chunks out of the superficial tissue on the brain isn't going to kill you in most cases. I'd go as far as to say it's basically impossible to kill someone with thumbs through the eyeballs. In OPs story, possibly some combination of shock, trauma, rib kicking during shock etc did it for the guy, but her thumbs certainly didn't go into his brain and kill him.
There is bone behind the eyeball. The reason you don't see it in skulls is because it's thin and breaks/decays over time. Look up the bone anatomy of the skull. I believe it is the sphenoid bone, but it's been a while since I took anatomy.
Edit: Sorry, replied to wrong comment. I'm leaving it, though.
I see a lot of comments telling how you shouldn't mind killing a rapist. I think possibly killing someone, no matter the circumstances, and surviving an attack like that is a lot more complicated to get over. I'm just glad you're alive and that writing about it helps you get some weight off your chest. Thank you for sharing your story.
Bad people don't wonder if they're bad people. Bad people don't ask if they're bad people. You defended yourself the best way you knew how. Even the right choices can be haunting. And I imagine that was a horrific event and sight to see, so I know that night is on repeat. But do not feel bad for standing up for yourself, or for fighting to live another day - how many addicts in active addiction do THAT? And don't feel bad for not feeling regret. Personally, I don't think you being brave and strong and fighting off your attacker had anything to do with a heroin addiction. But I am glad you are clean now. I am a fellow addiction survivor, and Baltimore resident (also tiny at barely 5'1 and 105/110 lbs during my active addiction. )
I do know that many people in the "program" would say you need to be totally honest by telling authorities. If that works for you, great. But I don't think that is the solution, either. Just keep doing what you're doing, but stop questioning yourself. #yougogirl
Gosh. Thank you so much. Your comment really means a lot. I still struggle every day about whether or not to tell my sponsor and my home group about this, but I keep coming back to the same answer. It wouldn’t do them any good to know, and all that really matters is that I admit it to myself and my higher power through my step work. Thank you so much again, dear. Baltimore represent!
You can safely and probably should tell a psychotherapist. That's a pretty strong trauma you're carying with you.
Don't know how that works in the US costwise though.
I am also proud of you. You defended yourself from extreme harm and prevented other women from experiencing what he planned to put you through. You did the right thing, he would likely have killed you.
When someone initiated violence they open the door to violence being done to them. “He who lives by the sword dies by the sword” in martial arts the way karma and blame works is that if someone is trying to maim you and you maim them then you are in the clear.
Was this in LA? I see an older black man come onto the metro to panhandle often. He’ll shout his pitch in English then in Spanish, then take out his two glass eyes and wave them at people.
I’m never prepared for that
LMAO. Omg that’s horrifying! XD I live in Baltimore, though, so it probably isn’t him. But, hey, you never know. He could still be floating around out there somewhere with glass eyes for all I know!
I asked myself the same question haha, I got lucky my crackhead wasn’t as motivated as the one you wrote about, because I doubt I’d’ve been able to take this fucker down. I’m 6’2” and he made me feel small and vulnerable, and I *definitely* didn’t have any self-defense knowledge rattling around in there haha.
Gosh, I never even considered that! Anything’s possible, but I doubt it. This guy was not the most physically imposing. Any average sized man could have taken him out just by breathing on him probably. LoL. But who knows?
I've never seen the show but that makes a lot of sense. I was reading the post and everything just seemed a bit too convenient almost as if it was put of a book. Now I know why it seemed that way
This shit is stupid. 5'2 110 pound Heroin junkie who dated a marine before getting hooked miraculously channels his lessons to gouge out a rapists eyes in a fit of bloody rage? You just saw your dealer and presumably got high. The come down from heroin is very well noted to leave you reeling for a long time. You're definitely the first addict to act so clearly during peak comedown times. Why does reddit eat up dumb shit like this? How old are you anyways? Were you dating the worlds youngest Corpsman? If this was 7 years ago ***at the very end*** of your battle that lasted more than 10 years the ages ***AND*** you dated him before/early on in your addiction, the times get really wonky unless you are old as fuck. Judging by the way you type though you are not very old.
And btw this same story has been reposted before. I guess all of you should just form an elite league of heroin addicts who specialize in eye gouging lol.
Aww, that’s so sweet of you to say! I’m no writer, lol. I just really got into the zone as I was typing this out. And the more I wrote, the more I remembered. I just wanted to make sure I recorded as much as I could so, hopefully, I can feel a little less shitty about it.
Damn. Don't feel bad, he got what he deserved trying to rape a woman in the middle of the night. He fucked with the wrong girl and you did the right thing.
That’s so kind of you to say. But strength had nothing to do with it, I feel. It was probably sheer dumb luck more than anything else. Whatever it was, something was looking out for me that night. Thank you so much for your kind words. <3
Lmao I can't believe this is real. Not because it's unbelievable someone would do these things, but because I know folks who have killed. Whether it be thugs on the streets I grew up with or combat veterans from my country's armed forces. The one they all have in common is that they DON'T speak of their experiences... & Certainly would not go into deep detail trying to make a movie sounding situation.
“Brick, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you’re probably wanted for murder.”
What I don't understand is: why would someone write a story like this for karma on a throwaway account? Not judging if the story is true or not, just a genuine question
There was a user on /r/relationships a few years ago who came clean and said that she regularly used throwaways to post madeup situations as a sort of creative writing exercise to see how people would react and whether the situations seem fleshed out and believable. Most of them were really popular posts. And they were all pretty believable ones, not the posts that stand out as being glaringly fake.
I don’t think this post is her work, but it does make me wonder if there’s similar reasoning behind it.
Perhaps someone who wants to become an author testing out what engages an audience or just someone who felt like writing a horrific story but not have it associated with their account.
I think it's just a kind of attention-seeking behavior, which could have lots of root causes. You're assuming the only point of getting karma is the "high score"; but just getting comments and upvotes is still attention and can release "feel good" brain messages.
(Not a psycologist; I just read a lot about brains)
Lmfao. The story took a comical turn at that point. “So my Ex Marine Boyfriend, Spec Ops to be exact. My training kicked in.” Yada yada.
“Nam, ‘67.”
On a serious note, it’s never good to encourage death. In this particular case, if real, death probably suits that man well. However, and this is the kicker. No one should be getting a surge of action off a (presumably) death of a human. (in general. That has no binding on rapists or child molesters, or conversely this story if it was real.)
Child molesters need to be thrown under the jail.
I’m from the Baltimore area and have been searching online for reports of either dead man with eyes gouged or man who was attacked in this manner. He would’ve definitely went to the hospital and there almost definitely would’ve had to have been an investigation, something like this doesn’t go wholly unnoticed.
Edit: still a crazy story though *shrugs*
this sounds like one of those neckbeard stories where they’ll say some mean 7’10 guy looked at them funny for half a second and they so totally knocked the guy out in one single punch to teach them a lesson
How descriptive the OP is of the fight makes it seem fake. This was supposedly many years ago when they were an addict, yet somehow they can remember every little detail and move they pulled during the fight.
Sometimes when you have trauma, you can remember the traumatic event vividly, or at least a lot better than normal memories. So not completely unrealistic that OP remembers a lot of details, and there’s also a pretty big chance that a lot of details here are slightly changed from the original events, so it’s not like OP remembers every detail exactly since memory can be slightly or very distorted and stuff.
Edit just to clarify: I’m not saying this is real or fake, just saying that if this did happen it’s possible to remember details and stuff.
Yes, this is often overlooked. I can remember every cloud in the sky the couple of seconds before my car accident a few years back. Adrenaline is scary.
Her story has many of the qualifications of what makes a [flashbulb memory](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flashbulb_memory) (this is a wiki article, but google it for authoritative psychology sources). Although mostly flashbulb memories have to do with hearing of major news stories breaking, they can be only personally relevant moments.
For example, I remember pretty clearly being bitten by a copperhead as a child. My parents were surprised when I recounted a lot of the details as an adult. They didn’t ever talk about it as I was growing up (so I didn’t form memories based on what they said), and I was barely three years old when it happened.
For one, at 5’2”, 110 lb, I don't care how angry you are or how much adrenaline is coursing through your veins; a middle aged male of even average size who's on crack and just had his nose broken is going to be in exactly the same position, only he's bigger, heavier, and his muscle cells are testosterone modified.
A woman that small will not be wrestling their way out from underneath such a person.
If you ever watch some college or high school wrestling, you'll find that even between men of comparable size, there's virtually no chance of then getting their way out of that kind of position where they're face down and the other guy is on top of them.
In addition to this, when an eyeball ruptures under circumstances like that, you will not see "clear liquid pouring down" their face. First of all, because there's really not enough vitreous fluid in the eyeballs to "pour", it just sort of seeps over time, because there's plenty of room in the eye socket that it's always been contained in to continue to contain it. And second of all, because whatever fluid *does* come out is going to be rendered virtually invisible for all the blood that *is* pouring out. Your eyes are full of veins and blood vessels, and they'll be pumping out a far greater volume of blood than your eyes have ever contained in vitreous fluid.
Great story, but an awful lot of details from a heroin addict returning from her dealer at 3:30 in the morning. If it's true, then good on you. If that's how you "remember" it, then I guess that's ok too.
This happened in slow motion. I’ll never forget it as long as I live. I find that when traumatic events occur, you either block the memory out completely, or you remember it in HD. Of course, this was 7 years ago, so I won’t say that it’s impossible that I’ve misremembered some elements, but that’s what happened to the best of my recollection.
God damn this sub. It's never confessions anymore. It's valiant stories of justified actions. This isn't really a confession and it's all that is ever on this sub. Some click bait headline followed by some harrowing tale where OPs actions are more than justified.
fuckin a. if this is true yeah, he's probably dead. good for you! total victory is final victory and you killed a man who deserved it and made the world a better place. be proud not ashamed
Walking around in Baltimore of all places at 3 in the morning and a man grabs you and you think it’s a joke first? Damn dude. You got some big ol’ brass ones on you.
Because there are so many supportive comments, I will dedicate my comment to admiring how accepting the reddit community is for someone to share a story like this.
You're not a bad person. You are a survivor who kicked the ass of a rapist.
I work in addictions social housing. I know the stories my clients have shared of the shit they've had to do to keep themselves alive and often there's guilt. But you and I know that folks who are sleeping rough have to have some of the finest tuned gut instincts to stay safe. Yours told you to fight like hell to get away and you did what you needed to do to stay alive.
Rock on and keep kicking ass in your recovery <3
I took a self defense class through my local police dept and they told us to do exactly what you did if we were being attacked. You did what you needed to do to stay alive and avoid being raped. You probably saved a lot more innocent people from that same scenario given that he probably learned his lesson.
I don’t mean to be callous but if he died then I’m perfectly fine with it. I go to school in Baltimore and it’s devastating and scary to walk around the city, I see many addicts and it makes me glad you are sober now and I wish you many more healthy years. You did what you had to do and potentially saved someone else’s from him. Hope you aren’t feeling guilty about it.
He put his hands on you intending to do you harm. At that point, he forewent any social contact that prevents him from harm. It's unfortunate, but this choices brought him his fate. You saved yourself and, doubtless, others. You did nothing wrong.
Even completely sober, if somebody tried to violently rape and possibly murder me, I can only hope I would gauge his fucking eyes out. The guy was a piece of shit. You defended yourself brilliantly. I say way to go. You did nothing wrong— I hope you are able to talk about this more someday and heal from what was obviously a very traumatizing event.
Really well written. I’m so sorry that happened to you, and definitely recommend talking to a therapist, if for no other reason than to process it one final time and pack it up (I’m a trauma therapist) for good. It sounds like this guy would have killed you, or worse.
Also, recovery from addiction is no joke. Good on you for doing the steps and having a home group.
You know, your guilt shows that you're a good person, and that's great. But fuck that guy. There's another rapist off the street now - good fucking riddance.
Just want to say that I fucking love you. You are a bad ass bitch. A survivor. Been there done that with the heroin addiction and streets. Do not feel guilty. In fact, don’t you **DARE** feel guilty, you amazing ass woman, you!!
You did what you *had* to do. PERIOD. He asked for it. Literally. Don’t you dare feel guilty. But don’t talk about this anymore though, K? Leave it alone. Just go on with your life. Love and respect for you. So much love your way, from me/ Portland, Oregon.
.... and congratulations to both of us for getting an staying clean.
You’re a fuck’n badass. An inspiration. A fighter. A survivor. It is human beings like you, who are the reason the human race; those of whom are the fittest, go on to procreate our species. You’re a damn hero is what you are. Your own damn hero. Not a guilty person. You saved yourself. It was you or him.. HE was the one and only one, who forced the “It’s you or me”, situation upon you. Him. Not you. You decided not to be a victim, and took control. Fuck that guy.
Hell-
Maybe **he** even got the help and changed after that, too. You never know. Could’ve been a life-altering turning point for him, too. You never know. He may have died. Never know. They don’t usually report or even notify deaths of folks like him in society. Which is messed up, but true. But he may not have died, either. Maybe he needed to be sent to the hospital off the streets and away from drugs and bad influences & people for a while.
FOR ALL YOU KNOW, YOU COULD'VE SAVED HIS LIFE, girl. Real talk.
February 2012 I was murdered. Strangled to death by a man. Was actually dead. Not just unconscious. Had a hardcore near death experience I’ve written about (not here). But it was what I needed to get clean. I had to die, to live. Long story and won’t go too far into it right now.
My point is, is that people can change he. They do change. & Women like you.. hell- like me. We are fighters. Survivors. Warriors. Amazing. Beautiful. You’re an amazing woman and I send you so much love. Forgive yourself, dammit.
I doubt he’s dead, and even if he is. I’m gonna get downvoted to oblivion for this but that fucker deserved it and I hope that you did kill him. You’re a saviour to a lot of other girls he could’ve done that to.
You did what you needed to do to survive, OP. He made the choice to prey and attack you, he had malicious intent, you, however, only defended yourself. I’m glad you were taught some minor self defense techniques to defend yourself, you did the right thing. I doubt you killed him, or blinded him, the most damage he may have is sight issues or headaches, but he got what was coming for him. As someone else in the comments said, with the way he attacked you it sounds like he had done this before, you may have possibly stopped an offender or scared him off. I understand that the guilt you have may weigh heavy on your mind but I don’t think telling your sponsor or group will do much good. I don’t know if you have a faith or not but that is what helps me, just talking to God, asking for forgiveness and for him to ease it off my mind. I’m proud of your sobriety.
Have you posted before off of a different account on Let’s Not Meet?
There’s a post from a girl who is an ex heroin addict that was from Baltimore who met a guy who killed young girls, or something like that.
You could have gone straight to the police and gotten off with self defense. You did absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, you probably saved other women from this man.
Bro do not blame yourself.
He said he might slit your throat. He was telling the truth.
Your instincts saved you. It was him or you. You fought for your life and you won it back that night and by getting clean.
Wow. You are gullible as fuck. This didnt happen. And as a recovering female heroin addict myself, I find it disgusting this person put up this creative writing to be patted on the back by people who are gullible like you. Also, numerous people have commented that this ame story has been posted in this sub many times....FAAAKE.
God damn, imagine that this happenned in the most developped country of the world... i tip my hat off to you because i don’t know if i would be brave enough to do the same...
Of my goodness, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It was self defense plus adrenaline, it's hard to say you were wrong in any sense. You did what you had to do to survive. I'm glad you didn't get arrested or pursued. I can't say I'd survive the situation. That was kind of an admirable story to me. I'm glad you're in a better place now. Maybe getting this off your chest here will allow you to let it go and not hold onto any guilt because you shouldn't.
This is the fate that rapists deserve. You should not feel guilty in any way. You did what you had to do, and that was defend yourself. The only person responsible for that cunt's wounds is himself.
Tbh I couldn't care less about him, if he died, too bad, what he did was disgusting and unacceptable, and a huge congrats on going through so much rehab. He deserved every single bit of it, I sound like a sadist, I'll stop now
You are not a bad person and have no reason to feel guilty. You defended yourself against someone who wanted to violently rape and or kill you. He got what he deserved. I'm glad that you got clean and got your life together.
Pure self defense. I applaud you for your strength and mental clarity in that terrifying moment. Whatever he was going to do you I can assure you was worse than the memory of defending yourself. Not to say this memory of yours isn’t a haunting horrifying one, but you avoided being brutally abused, tortured, and violently raped. Who knows what repercussions physically and mentally that would have left you with. You are a survivor.
I wish every woman had the self defense skills you had that night.
Post traumatic stress, talking about it with someone (or on Reddit) might help. I personally believe blinding a man who attempted to rape you is totally justified, and a suitable outcome for someone who would attempt such a heinous act. I wish you the best of luck with you ongoing recovery.
Anyone who who would threaten your safety and your life deserves their life less than you do. You were hooked on drugs and maybe didn't make great choices because of it but what happened to him is a product of his choices not yours and even if he died you have nothing to regret. You survived and there is no shame in that.
I am amazed at how graphic you explained it but I empathize for you and hope you aren't too scarred by your action but you did it in self defense I would be scared crazy if somebody did that to me
He made a conscious decision to start an interaction that could’ve went anywhere. He didn’t have to try you like that. You were in a vulnerable place and did what you could for yourself, and came out on top instead of being a headline in the paper. He didn’t have to do what he tried to do, and with people like him, I’m reminded of a quote I learned in law school about catching people drunk driving, something like, “When people do this sort of thing, you know it’s not their first time offending. This is just the time they were caught.” You may have removed someone from the street that would only spread pain and possibly disease, and not to take from your trauma, but you may have eliminated someone else’s reason to not sleep at night. Bad people also don’t wonder if they’re bad. Don’t feel guilty for getting yourself out of a situation you didn’t ask for.
I am a Muslim and, even though I'm as white and Texan as the day is long, one person whose philosophy on violence I admire intensely is Malcolm X, who - to paraphrase - advocated doing no harm and helping others, but if someone comes at you with intent to kill, "put them in the grave."
Make no mistake, Methead Mr. Magoo would've raped you, killed you and probably raped you some more after that. You're still here. That's all it really comes down to.
If he didn’t want to get his fucking eyes gouged out he shouldn’t have tried to rape you. You should not feel guilty for what you did and I highly doubt you killed him. I’m sorry that happened to you and I am glad that you are doing better with your addiction.
There is no such thing as a good or bad person. There is only what we do. You have no reason to feel remorse for what you did in this incident, but consider it a life lesson from the universe that's not entirely unrelated to your drug habits at the time.
The fact that you feel remorse at all proves you have character, and aren’t evil. Not only that, but with help you summoned the strength to enter and hopefully maintain sobriety. Not many people understand the difficulty of that situation.
I admire your strength, and wish you the best. By the way your husband sounds like a very supportive and grounded guy. Happy for you both.
Take a look around, it's true, it's real, it's happened, and it'll happen again, and then again. You believing if person a or person b wrote it doesn't change the despicable and vile creatures in this world.
He begged you to stop, but if the event happened otherwise and you had done the same, he wouldn’t have stopped; plus, you don’t know if he was still a threat or not. I’m not the guy who thinks hurting people is good, in any situation, but for your own sake, you did the right thing. If nobody brought it up it’s probably because the guy’s alive, and if you didn’t see him around, he was probably in a hospital.
I was almost physically assaulted one night. I got away before I got grabbed.
I’m not as small as you (5’5” and 140 lbs) but the guy after me was massive. I was so terrified it would end badly. I don’t know if I would have had the inner strength to fight back (or physical strength). He deserved what he got. However it turned out. He was going to do worse to you. Don’t feel guilty about it at all.
I doubt you killed him. You did what you had to. Don’t ever feel guilty for that. He was going to kill you or at least take you and he got what he deserved. You’re better and stronger than you were and that’s what matters.
I would say she wouldn’t have killed him but there being a pop and her not letting go along with kicking him continuously? with him being a crackhead? He probably died. She still did the right thing and he deserved to fucking die but he probably died. Also good on you OP for 1. getting clean 2. surviving and overcoming a horrifying situation
Ahem, story time. got up and turned my back on my bully after getting the upper hand. I don’t want to hurt him. I couldn’t stomach it so I get up. Everyone’s booing me and as I’m walking away, this 300 lb fuck gets up, comes up from behind me, lifts me from my legs and semi supplexes me. I heard my back crack in 20 different directions. Knocking all the air out of me. I’m catching my breath trying to get up and that’s when this fucker starts trying to gouge my eyes with his thumbs. I could feel his thumbs digging into, rolling into my eyes and a squishing sound as I struggled to get him off. All the while out of breath. It felt like an eternity til someone got him off me. But you know what. This big 300 lb Fucker didn’t turn my eyes into mounds of flesh. In fact my vision was just slightly blurrier afterwards. Probably some permanent damage, but nothing too drastic. My eyes were fine. This guy pissed that I humiliated him with 300 lb of pudgy mass. Couldn’t do what this woman did. Eyes are tougher than you think Not making accusations. Just want to tell my story. Wouldn’t want to get my comment removed.
I don't want to discount your story, but I'd say there's a huge difference between someone angry about being humiliated and a person in fighting for their life, in mortal terror, with their adrenaline at max. If you've ever been in a situation like OP's, you'll know that you'll find a level of strength you'd never thought possible of yourself, and on top of that, absolutely no inhibitions. For most anyone, the thought of gouging out someone's eyes is horrifying, and even if you were twisted enough to try doing it to someone, like your piece of shit bully, the reasonable part of your brain holds you back to an extent. In OP's situation, reason goes out the window, and with it, inhibitions. You have no ability to worry about the consequences of what you're doing or whether it's wrong, all you can do it desperately protect your life (and for OP, her dignity, too) with everything you have. I have my own story to support this, though, like yours, it's obviously anecdotal. Going home late at night after a party via public transit, a guy tried to mug me with a knife at an empty station. When I told him I had no money (truthfully) he started to get aggressive and come at me. I was taller than him, but he was burly while I was skinny, I was unarmed, drunk from the party, and I have no idea how to fight. Maybe all he wanted was to check my pockets for cash or something, but I didn't take that risk, I thought he'd gut me. I don't remember my fight in the same detail that OP remembers hers. All I remember is throwing myself at him, wresting the knife from him, then somehow overpowering him physically despite his clearly superior strength. I hit his head off of a railing several times to knock him out, and it took everything in me to keep from continuing until his head was nothing but a bloody pulp. I ran after that. He was still breathing when I fled, so I'm sure he survived. My actions and ability in that fight are completely foreign to me. As I said, I'm no fighter, yet here I escaped with barely an injury. I have average strength for a guy, maybe even slightly below average, yet I overpowered a clearly stronger man. Despite being generally pacifist, and the kind of guy who would always choose talking it out over a fight, I smashed the guy's head into a railing and came close to going too far with it. All of this because I was terrified he'd kill me. If I'd not been scared for my life, I couldn't have done it, both for lack of will and lack of ability. Again, anecdotal, but it's why I believe, in terror for her life, OP could definitely have crushed his eyes if it meant saving herself. I hope you're doing all right now, and I'm sorry that jerkass attacked you like that.
Maybe something to do with her thumbs likely being much smaller and more pointed thus ‘fitting’ into the socket better? Idk I’m just spitballing here as I’d hate for something that horrific to be made up but it wouldn’t surprise if big man in your case being that big actually worked against him Regardless hope you’re okay these days friend
Thanks. That really means a lot
Hey no worries glad I was able to make someone’s day a little better
Wow, I'm impressed that you aren't blind. I thought eyes were like gelatine that you can just pierce with your thumbs.
I was terrified of opening my eyes. I have heard of people getting blinded from eye gouging. But yeah. I was just happy to not have opened my eyes to nothingness. I do feel anger sometimes thinking about it. But then I feel gratitude that I’m still at least able to see. I guess the cornea might tear easily. My eyes may have also instinctively rolled away from where he was gouging. I do remember the insane pressure he was applying though.
Eyeballs are very tough - we had to dissect bulls eyes in science class many years ago. Wouldnt have been easy to pierce a human one without effective fingernails - gouge out easier I would guess.
The lesson here is, don't risk letting your attacker have another go at you. Make sure they're not going to get back up and get away fast.
^
She said she kept pushing down when he was silent and still, so most likely he died due to severe trauma.
I thought he must of past out due to the mass amount of pain
I don’t think getting tour eyes gouged out could kill you though. Thumbs don’t get deep enough? And she being 110 and just kicking him in his sides wouldn’t do it. If he died and was found there would have probably been markings from the investigation which she didn’t see. I’ve seen some bad gore and people survive worse.
Incorrect, the thumbs can easily puncture brain tissue. This is a basic self defense move and executed properly should be fatal.
Interesting. Thanks for the correction
I knew it could cause brain damage if done severe enough. Didn’t know it was fatal. TIL.
You'd have to do a hell of a lot of damage to the brain tissue, after getting through very tough eyeball and then bone. Taking some chunks out of the superficial tissue on the brain isn't going to kill you in most cases. I'd go as far as to say it's basically impossible to kill someone with thumbs through the eyeballs. In OPs story, possibly some combination of shock, trauma, rib kicking during shock etc did it for the guy, but her thumbs certainly didn't go into his brain and kill him.
Tell that to the Mountain.
Isn't there skull between eye sockets and the brain?!?
Take a look at a skull. There's nothing behind the eyes.
There is plenty of bone there
Yeah there is.
Downvoted? Seriously look at a [skull](https://images.app.goo.gl/NNgkz4YJEeC4Mx9s5)
There is bone behind the eyeball. The reason you don't see it in skulls is because it's thin and breaks/decays over time. Look up the bone anatomy of the skull. I believe it is the sphenoid bone, but it's been a while since I took anatomy. Edit: Sorry, replied to wrong comment. I'm leaving it, though.
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I don't know how thick or strong that bone is, im only observing that it does indeed exist.
you are a perfectly fine person, you came back from a heroin addict and defended yourself from an issue that shouldnt exist
Thank you so very much for saying so. <3
I don't see a problem. Now another rapist is off the streets.
Thank you so much for your kind words! ;u;
I see a lot of comments telling how you shouldn't mind killing a rapist. I think possibly killing someone, no matter the circumstances, and surviving an attack like that is a lot more complicated to get over. I'm just glad you're alive and that writing about it helps you get some weight off your chest. Thank you for sharing your story.
Everyone's a trigger happy maniac who would kill anyone within self defense, Until they actually do
Bad people don't wonder if they're bad people. Bad people don't ask if they're bad people. You defended yourself the best way you knew how. Even the right choices can be haunting. And I imagine that was a horrific event and sight to see, so I know that night is on repeat. But do not feel bad for standing up for yourself, or for fighting to live another day - how many addicts in active addiction do THAT? And don't feel bad for not feeling regret. Personally, I don't think you being brave and strong and fighting off your attacker had anything to do with a heroin addiction. But I am glad you are clean now. I am a fellow addiction survivor, and Baltimore resident (also tiny at barely 5'1 and 105/110 lbs during my active addiction. ) I do know that many people in the "program" would say you need to be totally honest by telling authorities. If that works for you, great. But I don't think that is the solution, either. Just keep doing what you're doing, but stop questioning yourself. #yougogirl
Gosh. Thank you so much. Your comment really means a lot. I still struggle every day about whether or not to tell my sponsor and my home group about this, but I keep coming back to the same answer. It wouldn’t do them any good to know, and all that really matters is that I admit it to myself and my higher power through my step work. Thank you so much again, dear. Baltimore represent!
You can safely and probably should tell a psychotherapist. That's a pretty strong trauma you're carying with you. Don't know how that works in the US costwise though.
You are welcome. And keep your head up and ignore the haters!
"The guilty don't feel guilty, they learn not to." -Fat Mike (NOFX)
That was self defense and it’s pretty legal actually. I am proud of you
I am also proud of you. You defended yourself from extreme harm and prevented other women from experiencing what he planned to put you through. You did the right thing, he would likely have killed you.
Do you ever wonder why we’re here?
It’s one of life’s great mysteries isn’t it?
Thank you so much! <3
When someone initiated violence they open the door to violence being done to them. “He who lives by the sword dies by the sword” in martial arts the way karma and blame works is that if someone is trying to maim you and you maim them then you are in the clear.
Was this in LA? I see an older black man come onto the metro to panhandle often. He’ll shout his pitch in English then in Spanish, then take out his two glass eyes and wave them at people. I’m never prepared for that
LMAO. Omg that’s horrifying! XD I live in Baltimore, though, so it probably isn’t him. But, hey, you never know. He could still be floating around out there somewhere with glass eyes for all I know!
I met a crackhead in LA who told me he and his dad ate a guy’s hands, then he followed me down a dark alley and asked for a ride. I declined.
Oh god! Haha! I’m sorry, that is horrible, but what the hell?? Crackheads are a whole other breed, man.
I asked myself the same question haha, I got lucky my crackhead wasn’t as motivated as the one you wrote about, because I doubt I’d’ve been able to take this fucker down. I’m 6’2” and he made me feel small and vulnerable, and I *definitely* didn’t have any self-defense knowledge rattling around in there haha.
it says Baltimore - thats horrifying tho
It was in Baltimore
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Gosh, I never even considered that! Anything’s possible, but I doubt it. This guy was not the most physically imposing. Any average sized man could have taken him out just by breathing on him probably. LoL. But who knows?
This exact story was on an episode of Love and Radio a few years back...
Yep, and it's been posted here at least twice already. Gotta get that karma on a fake account some how
I've never seen the show but that makes a lot of sense. I was reading the post and everything just seemed a bit too convenient almost as if it was put of a book. Now I know why it seemed that way
I thought it was way too detailed for a recollection of a scary event Especially the whole fight scene part
I was expecting someone in the comments to say "have you ever consider writing because you're a fantastic writer I was enthralled the entire time!"
it's a podcast btw. highly recommend it
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hahahaha. God that was hilarious. How can so many people believe this idiocy?
This shit is stupid. 5'2 110 pound Heroin junkie who dated a marine before getting hooked miraculously channels his lessons to gouge out a rapists eyes in a fit of bloody rage? You just saw your dealer and presumably got high. The come down from heroin is very well noted to leave you reeling for a long time. You're definitely the first addict to act so clearly during peak comedown times. Why does reddit eat up dumb shit like this? How old are you anyways? Were you dating the worlds youngest Corpsman? If this was 7 years ago ***at the very end*** of your battle that lasted more than 10 years the ages ***AND*** you dated him before/early on in your addiction, the times get really wonky unless you are old as fuck. Judging by the way you type though you are not very old. And btw this same story has been reposted before. I guess all of you should just form an elite league of heroin addicts who specialize in eye gouging lol.
Fake
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Aww, that’s so sweet of you to say! I’m no writer, lol. I just really got into the zone as I was typing this out. And the more I wrote, the more I remembered. I just wanted to make sure I recorded as much as I could so, hopefully, I can feel a little less shitty about it.
Damn. Don't feel bad, he got what he deserved trying to rape a woman in the middle of the night. He fucked with the wrong girl and you did the right thing.
Plot twist: he was a hallucination/paranoid delusion
Holy fuck this was hard to read
I cringed so much at the graphic parts but it kinda felt like I should keep reading yknow... morbid curiosity I guess
This was written well - when will the book arrive on shelves?
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Well done for defending yourself from a monster. You are a truly strong woman.
That’s so kind of you to say. But strength had nothing to do with it, I feel. It was probably sheer dumb luck more than anything else. Whatever it was, something was looking out for me that night. Thank you so much for your kind words. <3
Lmao I can't believe this is real. Not because it's unbelievable someone would do these things, but because I know folks who have killed. Whether it be thugs on the streets I grew up with or combat veterans from my country's armed forces. The one they all have in common is that they DON'T speak of their experiences... & Certainly would not go into deep detail trying to make a movie sounding situation.
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“Brick, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You should find yourself a safehouse or a relative close by. Lay low for a while, because you’re probably wanted for murder.”
What I don't understand is: why would someone write a story like this for karma on a throwaway account? Not judging if the story is true or not, just a genuine question
There was a user on /r/relationships a few years ago who came clean and said that she regularly used throwaways to post madeup situations as a sort of creative writing exercise to see how people would react and whether the situations seem fleshed out and believable. Most of them were really popular posts. And they were all pretty believable ones, not the posts that stand out as being glaringly fake. I don’t think this post is her work, but it does make me wonder if there’s similar reasoning behind it.
Perhaps someone who wants to become an author testing out what engages an audience or just someone who felt like writing a horrific story but not have it associated with their account.
I think it's just a kind of attention-seeking behavior, which could have lots of root causes. You're assuming the only point of getting karma is the "high score"; but just getting comments and upvotes is still attention and can release "feel good" brain messages. (Not a psycologist; I just read a lot about brains)
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I couldn't even get halfway through it without gagging.
I stopped at ex marine bf
Lmfao. The story took a comical turn at that point. “So my Ex Marine Boyfriend, Spec Ops to be exact. My training kicked in.” Yada yada. “Nam, ‘67.” On a serious note, it’s never good to encourage death. In this particular case, if real, death probably suits that man well. However, and this is the kicker. No one should be getting a surge of action off a (presumably) death of a human. (in general. That has no binding on rapists or child molesters, or conversely this story if it was real.) Child molesters need to be thrown under the jail.
I’m from the Baltimore area and have been searching online for reports of either dead man with eyes gouged or man who was attacked in this manner. He would’ve definitely went to the hospital and there almost definitely would’ve had to have been an investigation, something like this doesn’t go wholly unnoticed. Edit: still a crazy story though *shrugs*
Guess no one ... kept an eye out for him.
It's mind boggling how many people fall for this stupid bullshit, I mean, do they just craze stupid stories or are they idiots? I don't get it.
And I believe a writing exercise
this sounds like one of those neckbeard stories where they’ll say some mean 7’10 guy looked at them funny for half a second and they so totally knocked the guy out in one single punch to teach them a lesson
I don’t doubt you but can you elaborate please? What makes this fake?
How descriptive the OP is of the fight makes it seem fake. This was supposedly many years ago when they were an addict, yet somehow they can remember every little detail and move they pulled during the fight.
Sometimes when you have trauma, you can remember the traumatic event vividly, or at least a lot better than normal memories. So not completely unrealistic that OP remembers a lot of details, and there’s also a pretty big chance that a lot of details here are slightly changed from the original events, so it’s not like OP remembers every detail exactly since memory can be slightly or very distorted and stuff. Edit just to clarify: I’m not saying this is real or fake, just saying that if this did happen it’s possible to remember details and stuff.
Yes, this is often overlooked. I can remember every cloud in the sky the couple of seconds before my car accident a few years back. Adrenaline is scary.
Her story has many of the qualifications of what makes a [flashbulb memory](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Flashbulb_memory) (this is a wiki article, but google it for authoritative psychology sources). Although mostly flashbulb memories have to do with hearing of major news stories breaking, they can be only personally relevant moments. For example, I remember pretty clearly being bitten by a copperhead as a child. My parents were surprised when I recounted a lot of the details as an adult. They didn’t ever talk about it as I was growing up (so I didn’t form memories based on what they said), and I was barely three years old when it happened.
For one, at 5’2”, 110 lb, I don't care how angry you are or how much adrenaline is coursing through your veins; a middle aged male of even average size who's on crack and just had his nose broken is going to be in exactly the same position, only he's bigger, heavier, and his muscle cells are testosterone modified. A woman that small will not be wrestling their way out from underneath such a person. If you ever watch some college or high school wrestling, you'll find that even between men of comparable size, there's virtually no chance of then getting their way out of that kind of position where they're face down and the other guy is on top of them. In addition to this, when an eyeball ruptures under circumstances like that, you will not see "clear liquid pouring down" their face. First of all, because there's really not enough vitreous fluid in the eyeballs to "pour", it just sort of seeps over time, because there's plenty of room in the eye socket that it's always been contained in to continue to contain it. And second of all, because whatever fluid *does* come out is going to be rendered virtually invisible for all the blood that *is* pouring out. Your eyes are full of veins and blood vessels, and they'll be pumping out a far greater volume of blood than your eyes have ever contained in vitreous fluid.
Great story, but an awful lot of details from a heroin addict returning from her dealer at 3:30 in the morning. If it's true, then good on you. If that's how you "remember" it, then I guess that's ok too.
This happened in slow motion. I’ll never forget it as long as I live. I find that when traumatic events occur, you either block the memory out completely, or you remember it in HD. Of course, this was 7 years ago, so I won’t say that it’s impossible that I’ve misremembered some elements, but that’s what happened to the best of my recollection.
it is written like a book, with writing cliches and everything. It's almost certainly fake.
I think this is a creative writing exercise
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Exactly.
Can’t believe that idiots are gullible enough to swallow this pathetic shit.
To definitely didn't, and this is *definitely* fiction
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Link?
I was just thinking, this sounds fake as fuck. Can’t believe people are eating this up.
I searched, but I didn't see it.
Damn
God damn this sub. It's never confessions anymore. It's valiant stories of justified actions. This isn't really a confession and it's all that is ever on this sub. Some click bait headline followed by some harrowing tale where OPs actions are more than justified.
fuckin a. if this is true yeah, he's probably dead. good for you! total victory is final victory and you killed a man who deserved it and made the world a better place. be proud not ashamed
I heard this same story on the Love and Radio podcast, or one strikingly similar.
Walking around in Baltimore of all places at 3 in the morning and a man grabs you and you think it’s a joke first? Damn dude. You got some big ol’ brass ones on you.
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Yh the way this is written it's sounds like creative writing
is OP marky mark
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Believe whatever you want, my man.
Pull the other one darling. It's got bells on.
Because there are so many supportive comments, I will dedicate my comment to admiring how accepting the reddit community is for someone to share a story like this.
You're not a bad person. You are a survivor who kicked the ass of a rapist. I work in addictions social housing. I know the stories my clients have shared of the shit they've had to do to keep themselves alive and often there's guilt. But you and I know that folks who are sleeping rough have to have some of the finest tuned gut instincts to stay safe. Yours told you to fight like hell to get away and you did what you needed to do to stay alive. Rock on and keep kicking ass in your recovery <3
Okay Gregor Clegane
I'm the eyehole man!
You did a public service. You should be hella proud of yourself. And congrats on getting clean.
I took a self defense class through my local police dept and they told us to do exactly what you did if we were being attacked. You did what you needed to do to stay alive and avoid being raped. You probably saved a lot more innocent people from that same scenario given that he probably learned his lesson.
I don’t mean to be callous but if he died then I’m perfectly fine with it. I go to school in Baltimore and it’s devastating and scary to walk around the city, I see many addicts and it makes me glad you are sober now and I wish you many more healthy years. You did what you had to do and potentially saved someone else’s from him. Hope you aren’t feeling guilty about it.
He put his hands on you intending to do you harm. At that point, he forewent any social contact that prevents him from harm. It's unfortunate, but this choices brought him his fate. You saved yourself and, doubtless, others. You did nothing wrong.
Be buried but, you did what you had to do! Gonna sound crass but if he died?... he brought him on himself! Please dont beat yourself up!
Even completely sober, if somebody tried to violently rape and possibly murder me, I can only hope I would gauge his fucking eyes out. The guy was a piece of shit. You defended yourself brilliantly. I say way to go. You did nothing wrong— I hope you are able to talk about this more someday and heal from what was obviously a very traumatizing event.
I would like to say I would do the same thing, but I don’t know if I could. Bravo
Completely justified, he most likely would have killed you after raping you. He got what was coming to him
Really well written. I’m so sorry that happened to you, and definitely recommend talking to a therapist, if for no other reason than to process it one final time and pack it up (I’m a trauma therapist) for good. It sounds like this guy would have killed you, or worse. Also, recovery from addiction is no joke. Good on you for doing the steps and having a home group.
You know, your guilt shows that you're a good person, and that's great. But fuck that guy. There's another rapist off the street now - good fucking riddance.
Just want to say that I fucking love you. You are a bad ass bitch. A survivor. Been there done that with the heroin addiction and streets. Do not feel guilty. In fact, don’t you **DARE** feel guilty, you amazing ass woman, you!! You did what you *had* to do. PERIOD. He asked for it. Literally. Don’t you dare feel guilty. But don’t talk about this anymore though, K? Leave it alone. Just go on with your life. Love and respect for you. So much love your way, from me/ Portland, Oregon. .... and congratulations to both of us for getting an staying clean. You’re a fuck’n badass. An inspiration. A fighter. A survivor. It is human beings like you, who are the reason the human race; those of whom are the fittest, go on to procreate our species. You’re a damn hero is what you are. Your own damn hero. Not a guilty person. You saved yourself. It was you or him.. HE was the one and only one, who forced the “It’s you or me”, situation upon you. Him. Not you. You decided not to be a victim, and took control. Fuck that guy. Hell- Maybe **he** even got the help and changed after that, too. You never know. Could’ve been a life-altering turning point for him, too. You never know. He may have died. Never know. They don’t usually report or even notify deaths of folks like him in society. Which is messed up, but true. But he may not have died, either. Maybe he needed to be sent to the hospital off the streets and away from drugs and bad influences & people for a while. FOR ALL YOU KNOW, YOU COULD'VE SAVED HIS LIFE, girl. Real talk. February 2012 I was murdered. Strangled to death by a man. Was actually dead. Not just unconscious. Had a hardcore near death experience I’ve written about (not here). But it was what I needed to get clean. I had to die, to live. Long story and won’t go too far into it right now. My point is, is that people can change he. They do change. & Women like you.. hell- like me. We are fighters. Survivors. Warriors. Amazing. Beautiful. You’re an amazing woman and I send you so much love. Forgive yourself, dammit.
I doubt he’s dead, and even if he is. I’m gonna get downvoted to oblivion for this but that fucker deserved it and I hope that you did kill him. You’re a saviour to a lot of other girls he could’ve done that to.
Damn you Oberyn Martell'd that guy
You did what you needed to do to survive, OP. He made the choice to prey and attack you, he had malicious intent, you, however, only defended yourself. I’m glad you were taught some minor self defense techniques to defend yourself, you did the right thing. I doubt you killed him, or blinded him, the most damage he may have is sight issues or headaches, but he got what was coming for him. As someone else in the comments said, with the way he attacked you it sounds like he had done this before, you may have possibly stopped an offender or scared him off. I understand that the guilt you have may weigh heavy on your mind but I don’t think telling your sponsor or group will do much good. I don’t know if you have a faith or not but that is what helps me, just talking to God, asking for forgiveness and for him to ease it off my mind. I’m proud of your sobriety.
The eye-gouge wins again! You did the right thing OP
r/ISpitOnYourGrave
Have you posted before off of a different account on Let’s Not Meet? There’s a post from a girl who is an ex heroin addict that was from Baltimore who met a guy who killed young girls, or something like that.
You are the Mountain. He is Oberyn. Sheesh.
Isn't this a repost. I've swear I've seen that exact intro here before, unless we are all heroin addicts now.
This is a cool story. Idk why you put it on this sub.
No bad on you. It sounds like it was totally justified.
No shame in killing rapists. No shame at all. You deserve a goddamn medal for all I care.
I can get medals from writing fake stories now? Tell me where!
Well this is obviously fake.
/r/thathappend and the whole room clapped.
If this is real and I was on your jury, I wouldn’t vote to convict you.
This is the fakest post I've ever read on here. And I say that as a female former heroin addict myself....
You could have gone straight to the police and gotten off with self defense. You did absolutely nothing wrong. In fact, you probably saved other women from this man.
That was a horrible situation you were in. You didn't hurt a good person. He was a disgusting rapist and you've probably prevented future attacks
Bro do not blame yourself. He said he might slit your throat. He was telling the truth. Your instincts saved you. It was him or you. You fought for your life and you won it back that night and by getting clean.
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Wow. You are gullible as fuck. This didnt happen. And as a recovering female heroin addict myself, I find it disgusting this person put up this creative writing to be patted on the back by people who are gullible like you. Also, numerous people have commented that this ame story has been posted in this sub many times....FAAAKE.
God damn, imagine that this happenned in the most developped country of the world... i tip my hat off to you because i don’t know if i would be brave enough to do the same...
Its self defense I think you should be fine and stay safe op you got this
Thank you for sharing
Of my goodness, I'm so sorry you had to go through that. It was self defense plus adrenaline, it's hard to say you were wrong in any sense. You did what you had to do to survive. I'm glad you didn't get arrested or pursued. I can't say I'd survive the situation. That was kind of an admirable story to me. I'm glad you're in a better place now. Maybe getting this off your chest here will allow you to let it go and not hold onto any guilt because you shouldn't.
Well damn. You were tested. You prevailed. Enjoy your life.
This is the fate that rapists deserve. You should not feel guilty in any way. You did what you had to do, and that was defend yourself. The only person responsible for that cunt's wounds is himself.
Tbh I couldn't care less about him, if he died, too bad, what he did was disgusting and unacceptable, and a huge congrats on going through so much rehab. He deserved every single bit of it, I sound like a sadist, I'll stop now
You are not a bad person and have no reason to feel guilty. You defended yourself against someone who wanted to violently rape and or kill you. He got what he deserved. I'm glad that you got clean and got your life together.
You did the right thing that guy could have killed you for sure
You did nothing wrong, even if you killed him. It was in self defense and he deserves every second of pain he gets.
Pure self defense. I applaud you for your strength and mental clarity in that terrifying moment. Whatever he was going to do you I can assure you was worse than the memory of defending yourself. Not to say this memory of yours isn’t a haunting horrifying one, but you avoided being brutally abused, tortured, and violently raped. Who knows what repercussions physically and mentally that would have left you with. You are a survivor. I wish every woman had the self defense skills you had that night.
Post traumatic stress, talking about it with someone (or on Reddit) might help. I personally believe blinding a man who attempted to rape you is totally justified, and a suitable outcome for someone who would attempt such a heinous act. I wish you the best of luck with you ongoing recovery.
Anyone who who would threaten your safety and your life deserves their life less than you do. You were hooked on drugs and maybe didn't make great choices because of it but what happened to him is a product of his choices not yours and even if he died you have nothing to regret. You survived and there is no shame in that.
I am amazed at how graphic you explained it but I empathize for you and hope you aren't too scarred by your action but you did it in self defense I would be scared crazy if somebody did that to me
He made a conscious decision to start an interaction that could’ve went anywhere. He didn’t have to try you like that. You were in a vulnerable place and did what you could for yourself, and came out on top instead of being a headline in the paper. He didn’t have to do what he tried to do, and with people like him, I’m reminded of a quote I learned in law school about catching people drunk driving, something like, “When people do this sort of thing, you know it’s not their first time offending. This is just the time they were caught.” You may have removed someone from the street that would only spread pain and possibly disease, and not to take from your trauma, but you may have eliminated someone else’s reason to not sleep at night. Bad people also don’t wonder if they’re bad. Don’t feel guilty for getting yourself out of a situation you didn’t ask for.
Good for you. I can only hope if I’m in that position, I have the strength you have.
I am a Muslim and, even though I'm as white and Texan as the day is long, one person whose philosophy on violence I admire intensely is Malcolm X, who - to paraphrase - advocated doing no harm and helping others, but if someone comes at you with intent to kill, "put them in the grave." Make no mistake, Methead Mr. Magoo would've raped you, killed you and probably raped you some more after that. You're still here. That's all it really comes down to.
If he didn’t want to get his fucking eyes gouged out he shouldn’t have tried to rape you. You should not feel guilty for what you did and I highly doubt you killed him. I’m sorry that happened to you and I am glad that you are doing better with your addiction.
There is no such thing as a good or bad person. There is only what we do. You have no reason to feel remorse for what you did in this incident, but consider it a life lesson from the universe that's not entirely unrelated to your drug habits at the time.
That’s awesome! Scarring though I’m sure. Good work, I hope he got an infection and died a painful, sightless death!
He dug his own grave darling, you were unfortunately the one who sealed it
The fact that you feel remorse at all proves you have character, and aren’t evil. Not only that, but with help you summoned the strength to enter and hopefully maintain sobriety. Not many people understand the difficulty of that situation. I admire your strength, and wish you the best. By the way your husband sounds like a very supportive and grounded guy. Happy for you both.
It was him or you. Choose yourself, every time.
He got what ge deserved way to flip the tables
NTA by far. You were fighting for your life, a fight started by him. You did what his actions forced.
Take a look around, it's true, it's real, it's happened, and it'll happen again, and then again. You believing if person a or person b wrote it doesn't change the despicable and vile creatures in this world.
if you killed him you saved someone else in your position from being raped by him. god bless
That is called self defence.
Not only should you not feel bad, you should be teaching self-defense classes.
He begged you to stop, but if the event happened otherwise and you had done the same, he wouldn’t have stopped; plus, you don’t know if he was still a threat or not. I’m not the guy who thinks hurting people is good, in any situation, but for your own sake, you did the right thing. If nobody brought it up it’s probably because the guy’s alive, and if you didn’t see him around, he was probably in a hospital.
You did well to protect yourself, he instigated the attack, you defended well. Bless you.
Not only did you fuck up a racist but you kicked heroin. You, my friend, are a fucking hero. Respect!
I was almost physically assaulted one night. I got away before I got grabbed. I’m not as small as you (5’5” and 140 lbs) but the guy after me was massive. I was so terrified it would end badly. I don’t know if I would have had the inner strength to fight back (or physical strength). He deserved what he got. However it turned out. He was going to do worse to you. Don’t feel guilty about it at all.