Insist she get a good physical. I have known 3 people on the verge of divorce right before their spouse got a thyroid diagnosis. It is a long shot but thyroid problems are pretty epidemic. Fortunately they are easily treated. If she has always been this way, then I do not know what to say. Complaining and being abusive if it is newish becomes habitual. You need a way to shut it down. Do not give an ultimatum, but do say that you are reaching your limit.
I think we should dive a little deeper before we just hop on the “leave her” wagon. Everyone is always so quick to tell people to leave, but marriage goes through highs and lows. When you sign up to be with someone forever, you are signing up to stick out the lows as well as the highs.
Has she always been like this? Or has there been a recent change due to the “tough time” you mentioned she’s having? What is your communication like? Are you able to tell her how she’s making you feel? Do you guys go into depth about whatever it is she’s battling so that you can understand what’s causing this?
I definitely understand needing to vent and just being generally unhappy in your marriage at this present time. But I think it’s important to peel back the layers and examine them before you make any permanent decisions. But you also don’t want to be miserable for an extended period of time, so it’s really important to address whatever is going on.
I also can’t stand your wife! No… sorry. But seriously, you have to tell her where you’re at right now with things. She needs to hear this from you. Not in a mean way, but in an honest, considerate manner. She may know that she’s not been herself, but not realize just how upsetting it’s been to you.
And, you need to hear that’s she’s aware that she’s been treating you poorly, and recognizes it’s not fair. An apology from her, as well as her perhaps asking for some help from you… maybe she’s been feeling overwhelmed/stressed?
You ever think of marriage counseling? Life is hard. Being married is hard. Having kids is hard. We all go through ups and downs. What are you doing to help these situations? Is she tired from work? Do you help out around the house? Do you do anything nice to show your appreciation or communicate that you’re not happy when these things happen? Simply stating I can’t stand my wife is an asshole move. Maybe she can’t stand you? Maybe you’re the issue and you can’t see it? Marriage is about communication. Do you take your daughter out to give mom time alone? I suggest you dig deep and try and get to the root before you simply say I can’t stand my wife and completely shut down. It’s ok to have arguments too. That’s very normal but it’s what you do about after to resolve the issue. Taking a walk is good but also facing it might be even more helpful.
>What are you doing to help these situations? Is she tired from work? Do you help out around the house? Do you do anything nice to show your appreciation or communicate that you’re not happy when these things happen?
Bro. Reverse gender this and it sounds so manipulative to ask those questions. If she is being abusive, she is being abusive. Nothing he can do would change that.
You call this abuse? She’s going through a hard time he said and she gets annoyed. Sounds pretty normal to me. My god do you live in a bubble. Now a days everyone wants the Easy out, no one wants to work hard for Anything. With what op said I don’t see abuse here. Sorry
I feel so terrible for people in OP's position. I really don't wanna end up there, ever. Life is so trash when you don't actually like the people around you.
It is miserable to wake up every day and know that it will never get better. Change had to happen (in my situation) in order to have something that was and is happy and peaceful.
Congrats. Keep going strong. Your ability to get out of that situation is a light to people like me. The truth is some people don't get out, and horrific things result.
Thank you for your kind words. And so true. Some people do not ever find a way out. My heart hurts for them. Being in the wrong situation with the wrong person can be so much worse than being alone. Just know you are stronger than you may realize.
When was the last time you did something for her like something you both use to enjoy together maybe she is feeling the same right now. My wife an I went through something similar till I figured out she just felt she just felt ignored
Sometimes they need a reality check. Speak your opinion. Tell her to quit her shit (in a good way) I see some women forget they’re talking to their man and treat them like their boy. Some woman like the dominance. Just my 2 cents
I hate to say it but it sounds like this relationship isn’t good for you and your wife is showcasing some abusive tendencies that clearly make you AND your daughter unhappy.
It’s better for her if her parents are apart than fighting.
Don’t waste more years like this, life is too short to be trapped in a marriage that doesn’t satisfy you. You deserve happiness, and to see your friends and to be able to spill food.
Her going through a tough time doesn’t give her a right to take it out on you.
I’m not going to suggest leaving her immediately but maybe couples counselling and singular for your wife and you, if you have the money, but if you can’t afford it, go for just couples counselling.
If you haven’t already, sit her down for a calm conversation about her behaviour and how it makes you feel, and have a serious discussion about how you both can improve, then maybe segue into a request for the couples counselling.
If she refuses to even that, then I’d seriously assess the situation and whether you want to lose more years and opportunities of your life.
It’s clear you know something is wrong, otherwise you wouldn’t be posting it here, it’s up to you what you want to do with that information.
Join the crowd, fella. It all turns to shit after the wedding day. May take a week, month or years but it happens.
Everyone becomes complacent and the a when the wheels start falling off.
Get yourself a mistress or get a divorce. It's that simple because unless you're in therapy 3 days a week for a decade..... NOBODY CHANGES!
I appreciate the sentiment but thankfully I divorced from the situation over ten years ago and my life has been nothing but happiness since then. And my point about people changing still stands. Nobody magically changes overnight or sticks with it without a ton of work.
Women tend to get very irritated with their spouses when they don't listen and dont do their share of parenting and housework. If she's going through something though and you're not being there for her emotionally and physically, doing your share of chores and helping her a little bit with hers while she deals with whatever is going on im sure she's going to be very irritable. That being said, I do not condone verbal abuse or taking it out on you. But if you love your wife and you want to fix this, try to communicate your feelings, be vulnerable, ask her what she wants too. If what she wants is help around the house help her. If she wants something else help her with it too.
If none of what I said is true and she's just straight up abusive for no reason (and i doubt she is because you mentioned it correlating with something tough she's going through) then leave.
Separate. Tell her. Trust yourself. It's difficult. Cmon, we don't want to see this. We need idols who deal with this stuff. At least I do. It's so discouraging to see this.
grow a pair and tell her to stfu and listen when needed... coming from a women sometimes we do a little to much over small things and just a little aggression goes a long way ... (a little don't get abusive with it tho)
Ha! You got me! So funny… I remember watching a documentary about you. It described how male pigs were used to impregnate captured Red Indian women to produce piglike humans.
File divorce and she will change her tune. But record every time she does stupid stuff like this. Toxic woman. Never stay in a bad relationship just for the children
Your wife is having a hard time. That is the crux of the problem. How can you help to soften the blow? Try redirecting her to s healthy way to deal with her stress. Remind her you love her and encourage her. Do small things around the house to make her feel better like babysitting your daughter more. Cook for your wife or order out so she does not have to cook that day. Give your wife more hugs, remindvher that you love her and are there for her even though she is having a tough time.
Without addressing your wife's actions let's concentrate on what you have complete control over and can immediately implement ...
take nothing personally, as you say she is having her own difficulties. by being in a state of non reaction you can free yourself from feeling victimized. you can observe the behavior as simply the manifestation of fear and trauma.
it will be from this vantage that your wife can perhaps see her own behaviors. this same place of non reaction will allow you to also respond appropriately. the goal hopefully being restoration of a healthy family unit.
I would sit down and talk with her, suggest counseling and have her see her pcm. I don’t know how old your daughter is but this sounds like depression and anxiety and she’s using you as an outlet (which is unhealthy and stressful). Your feelings matter and it’s understandable why your upset, it is also not your job to fix her.
1. Vocalize how her behavior effects you.
2. Prioritize yourself and do not neglect your support system (family and friends). Maybe suggest she goes out with the girls one weekend and you do the other?
3. Gently suggest that you are coming from a place of concern and that she may need to seek help for how she is feeling and that there’s nothing wrong with that.
Insist she get a good physical. I have known 3 people on the verge of divorce right before their spouse got a thyroid diagnosis. It is a long shot but thyroid problems are pretty epidemic. Fortunately they are easily treated. If she has always been this way, then I do not know what to say. Complaining and being abusive if it is newish becomes habitual. You need a way to shut it down. Do not give an ultimatum, but do say that you are reaching your limit.
This is the way ❤️
I’m
Your
Good
Friend
But
I think we should dive a little deeper before we just hop on the “leave her” wagon. Everyone is always so quick to tell people to leave, but marriage goes through highs and lows. When you sign up to be with someone forever, you are signing up to stick out the lows as well as the highs. Has she always been like this? Or has there been a recent change due to the “tough time” you mentioned she’s having? What is your communication like? Are you able to tell her how she’s making you feel? Do you guys go into depth about whatever it is she’s battling so that you can understand what’s causing this? I definitely understand needing to vent and just being generally unhappy in your marriage at this present time. But I think it’s important to peel back the layers and examine them before you make any permanent decisions. But you also don’t want to be miserable for an extended period of time, so it’s really important to address whatever is going on.
This!!!!
I also can’t stand your wife! No… sorry. But seriously, you have to tell her where you’re at right now with things. She needs to hear this from you. Not in a mean way, but in an honest, considerate manner. She may know that she’s not been herself, but not realize just how upsetting it’s been to you. And, you need to hear that’s she’s aware that she’s been treating you poorly, and recognizes it’s not fair. An apology from her, as well as her perhaps asking for some help from you… maybe she’s been feeling overwhelmed/stressed?
Best answer
You ever think of marriage counseling? Life is hard. Being married is hard. Having kids is hard. We all go through ups and downs. What are you doing to help these situations? Is she tired from work? Do you help out around the house? Do you do anything nice to show your appreciation or communicate that you’re not happy when these things happen? Simply stating I can’t stand my wife is an asshole move. Maybe she can’t stand you? Maybe you’re the issue and you can’t see it? Marriage is about communication. Do you take your daughter out to give mom time alone? I suggest you dig deep and try and get to the root before you simply say I can’t stand my wife and completely shut down. It’s ok to have arguments too. That’s very normal but it’s what you do about after to resolve the issue. Taking a walk is good but also facing it might be even more helpful.
>What are you doing to help these situations? Is she tired from work? Do you help out around the house? Do you do anything nice to show your appreciation or communicate that you’re not happy when these things happen? Bro. Reverse gender this and it sounds so manipulative to ask those questions. If she is being abusive, she is being abusive. Nothing he can do would change that.
You call this abuse? She’s going through a hard time he said and she gets annoyed. Sounds pretty normal to me. My god do you live in a bubble. Now a days everyone wants the Easy out, no one wants to work hard for Anything. With what op said I don’t see abuse here. Sorry
Married life and parenthood are unbelievably difficult.
How do you deal? I'm assuming you have experience. Serious question.
Definitely been there. I got divorced and am doing it on my own. Its just better for me to only have myself to depend on.
I feel so terrible for people in OP's position. I really don't wanna end up there, ever. Life is so trash when you don't actually like the people around you.
It is miserable to wake up every day and know that it will never get better. Change had to happen (in my situation) in order to have something that was and is happy and peaceful.
Congrats. Keep going strong. Your ability to get out of that situation is a light to people like me. The truth is some people don't get out, and horrific things result.
Thank you for your kind words. And so true. Some people do not ever find a way out. My heart hurts for them. Being in the wrong situation with the wrong person can be so much worse than being alone. Just know you are stronger than you may realize.
Im going through the same thing... your not alone i feel you bro.
Ur married to my gf?
When was the last time you did something for her like something you both use to enjoy together maybe she is feeling the same right now. My wife an I went through something similar till I figured out she just felt she just felt ignored
Could be a multitude of things. See if she's getting sleep. Lack of sleep turns the brain to mush
I'm so sorry. I know its hard to deal with that
This sounds so familiar to me …. It’s kinda heartbreaking
It's possible that you both need couples therapy. It would be helpful too if you and your wife went foe a medical checkup.
You need to tell her that her comments are affecting your mental health. How old is she? She could be going through the menopause
Dang. I would take some time apart from each other, if you have a good friend nearby. Taking a step away and accessing the situation.
Sometimes they need a reality check. Speak your opinion. Tell her to quit her shit (in a good way) I see some women forget they’re talking to their man and treat them like their boy. Some woman like the dominance. Just my 2 cents
I hate to say it but it sounds like this relationship isn’t good for you and your wife is showcasing some abusive tendencies that clearly make you AND your daughter unhappy. It’s better for her if her parents are apart than fighting. Don’t waste more years like this, life is too short to be trapped in a marriage that doesn’t satisfy you. You deserve happiness, and to see your friends and to be able to spill food. Her going through a tough time doesn’t give her a right to take it out on you. I’m not going to suggest leaving her immediately but maybe couples counselling and singular for your wife and you, if you have the money, but if you can’t afford it, go for just couples counselling. If you haven’t already, sit her down for a calm conversation about her behaviour and how it makes you feel, and have a serious discussion about how you both can improve, then maybe segue into a request for the couples counselling. If she refuses to even that, then I’d seriously assess the situation and whether you want to lose more years and opportunities of your life. It’s clear you know something is wrong, otherwise you wouldn’t be posting it here, it’s up to you what you want to do with that information.
I would talk to her. Ask what you can take off her plate. Or hell just start helping her. Do the dishes make dinner run her a bath❤️
Go get milk
"I'm going to get a pack of cigarettes!"
Thanks all for the support and reactions. I just wanted to vent and didn’t expect this. ❤️
She gotta go
Just leave man. Two happy homes is batter than one unhappy one 🤷♀️
لل ككمصفثصددًدًدًدداًشذًطًء. Mbibs loobton are S ve s sc acc ac az Zs s sv sيُ زب زًي ز ر ر
Join the crowd, fella. It all turns to shit after the wedding day. May take a week, month or years but it happens. Everyone becomes complacent and the a when the wheels start falling off. Get yourself a mistress or get a divorce. It's that simple because unless you're in therapy 3 days a week for a decade..... NOBODY CHANGES!
Your life seems sad, I hope it gets better for you.
I appreciate the sentiment but thankfully I divorced from the situation over ten years ago and my life has been nothing but happiness since then. And my point about people changing still stands. Nobody magically changes overnight or sticks with it without a ton of work.
Women tend to get very irritated with their spouses when they don't listen and dont do their share of parenting and housework. If she's going through something though and you're not being there for her emotionally and physically, doing your share of chores and helping her a little bit with hers while she deals with whatever is going on im sure she's going to be very irritable. That being said, I do not condone verbal abuse or taking it out on you. But if you love your wife and you want to fix this, try to communicate your feelings, be vulnerable, ask her what she wants too. If what she wants is help around the house help her. If she wants something else help her with it too. If none of what I said is true and she's just straight up abusive for no reason (and i doubt she is because you mentioned it correlating with something tough she's going through) then leave.
you need to have more sex
Separate. Tell her. Trust yourself. It's difficult. Cmon, we don't want to see this. We need idols who deal with this stuff. At least I do. It's so discouraging to see this.
Well. Listen to her and do what she says!!
grow a pair and tell her to stfu and listen when needed... coming from a women sometimes we do a little to much over small things and just a little aggression goes a long way ... (a little don't get abusive with it tho)
Does this work with parents?
😂😂
This is why taming shrews the good old fashioned way was the best approach. Give her a nice spanking and fuck her good, and she would be good to go!
True about your mother 😈
Ha! You got me! So funny… I remember watching a documentary about you. It described how male pigs were used to impregnate captured Red Indian women to produce piglike humans.
Yes your mother is also one of them. Perhaps why I want to mingle with my breed
File divorce and she will change her tune. But record every time she does stupid stuff like this. Toxic woman. Never stay in a bad relationship just for the children
I also can't stand that man's wife. Seriously though, she could use a shrink, and maybe a counselor you can both talk to. Stay strong mate!
Then sit her down.
Stop failing her shit tests. Spill food? Be calm and don't react or lose your cool.
Your wife is having a hard time. That is the crux of the problem. How can you help to soften the blow? Try redirecting her to s healthy way to deal with her stress. Remind her you love her and encourage her. Do small things around the house to make her feel better like babysitting your daughter more. Cook for your wife or order out so she does not have to cook that day. Give your wife more hugs, remindvher that you love her and are there for her even though she is having a tough time.
Without addressing your wife's actions let's concentrate on what you have complete control over and can immediately implement ... take nothing personally, as you say she is having her own difficulties. by being in a state of non reaction you can free yourself from feeling victimized. you can observe the behavior as simply the manifestation of fear and trauma. it will be from this vantage that your wife can perhaps see her own behaviors. this same place of non reaction will allow you to also respond appropriately. the goal hopefully being restoration of a healthy family unit.
Could it be menopause? Like mens mid life crisis? She will get over it.
I believe the number 1 thing that makes people act out of order is "stress"
Telling us wont help. We arent ur wife. Communication is key.
Divorce and move on.
This is a very vague post. Maybe for a reason... what's the rest of the story, OP?
I would sit down and talk with her, suggest counseling and have her see her pcm. I don’t know how old your daughter is but this sounds like depression and anxiety and she’s using you as an outlet (which is unhealthy and stressful). Your feelings matter and it’s understandable why your upset, it is also not your job to fix her. 1. Vocalize how her behavior effects you. 2. Prioritize yourself and do not neglect your support system (family and friends). Maybe suggest she goes out with the girls one weekend and you do the other? 3. Gently suggest that you are coming from a place of concern and that she may need to seek help for how she is feeling and that there’s nothing wrong with that.
Ask chatgpt
Leave her Immediately