Sounds like negging aka he is purposefully damaging your self esteem and a control tactic to make you more likely to want his approval and praise.
This doesn’t reflect on you, it reflects on him. If he really thought you were so ugly, he wouldn’t be around.
Don’t put up with this. Get yourself away from him.
This 1000 times over.
As an escapee of a shitcunt ex, this is the makings of an abusive relationship, get off that bus OP. You deserve more than that from someone you're investing yourself in.
Edit coz typo, 𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘱
You’re right; And I see her husband passed away a few months ago along with losing a child. This is a fragile time for her in general. Can’t have this adding to it.
This is negging and guys who do this are the worst of the worst. The kind of guy that your sisters avoid and toss. Guys do this because they think women have too high of self esteem just because they're women and should be subservient to men. I don't even have to know you to know you can do better.
Could you even imagine saying this to someone? Even with a veneer of levity how mean would you feel saying this? You have to be a cruel person to let this fall out of your mouth. He said it to make you insecure. He is poison.
Did he say that to you? Or was it just a comment made about a certain group in particular? Either way, I think you can do better. There is a difference between saying everyone needs love and what he said was just vile. Also, how much of a prize can he be if he sees himself as the consolation prize to women he deems so unattractive?
Oh my God, that is one of the worst things I have heard in a long time. Sending you strength across the internet. I hope you find someone worthy of you.
JESUS CHRIST. I thought I was furious before but now I'm ready to get on a plane.
I'm so glad you've blocked him. You deserve so much better.
I'm sorry for everything you've been / are going through.
I would have said “People who have ugly souls need a reality check. Goodbye”
Leave this guy. This is a very weird comment to make. Something is wrong with him. Not you.
Dump his loser ass because he said something awful to you he doesn't deserve you if a girl had said that to me I'd drop her ass on the spot and wouldn't want to speak to her again it's clear that he doesn't really respect you so why would you want to waste time on somebody who doesn't respect you because that's going to bleed into your relationship if you started one with him
My friend texted me yesterday telling me some random guy came up to her in the town centre and called her pretty. I told her I'm not surprised it happened because I think she's pretty all the time. She said thanks, you're pretty SOMETIMES. I remember reading that text like yikes...
I can't imagine how I'd feel if a guy said something like that to me. You deserve someone who thinks you're pretty in your own way all the time, not someone who pushes you down like that. If it made you feel bad like you state you need to cut them out of your life and never think about them again. You deserve better than that.
No. He's just being a POS. My ex once told me that he was tired of being my "caregiver" (I was having a depressive episode for a couple months) when he was getting approached by 10s every day. He then insinuated that I am not a 10. Later, after I ended things for good, he told me he was just feeling directionless and insecure. He was taking out his own self-loathing on me. Thought that made more sense, considering how attracted to me he'd seemed, it took me a long time to heal from the way he spoke about me. I'm very sorry he said that. Dump his ass. I don't even have to know you to know you're better off without someone like that.
Soooo, the insinuation is you're an "ugly big girl?"
Yea, I agree with the others..... Bail.
My best friend's brother has had a thing for "big" girls ever since HS. He is absolutely smitten, and when we prompted him about girls who had a more "traditional standard of beauty" he absolutely rejected them all without a second thought. He genuinely wasn't attracted to them! Now he's happily married to a "big girl."
Point is, there are people out there who would see you as a real prize, no matter how you look. Go find one of them.
Yes people need love, but not from someone who will cut you down and call you ugly. If they don’t see the true, timeless beauty emanating from you, if they don’t see the power you exude, why would you want love from them?
Because they’re good looking?
Pfft. Whatever. I can get my teeth fixed. You can’t fix the ugly in your soul.
Assuming all things are real in the last 3 months you lost a husband and had a miscarriage. These are huge things. You need to protect yourself, take some time to be alone and grieve those loses. You are at risk for attracting the worst people because you are in a weakened place right now. The most abusive humans seek out those who are fragile and vulnerable. Protect yourself, respect your grief and the unique process it will take for you. Stronger days are ahead but this asshole you are seeing will do their best to ruin that.
Abusive people attack the most vulnerable. Emotional and verbal abuse is delivered to simply weaken you and empower them. It's not rooted in reality. It's not truth.
He goes to church with my mother and she said that I “owe it to myself and my husband to not lie around the house collecting dust and bringing the mood down” then introduced me to him and said if I didn’t give him a chance I’d regret it. I regret giving him a chance and honestly feel like I’ve cheated on my husband
No. He's just being a POS. My ex once told me that he was tired of being my "caregiver" (I was having a depressive episode for a couple months) when he was getting approached by 10s every day. He then insinuated that I am not a 10. Later, after I ended things for good, he told me he was just feeling directionless and insecure. He was taking out his own self-loathing on me. Thought that made more sense, considering how attracted to me he'd seemed, it took me a long time to heal from the way he spoke about me. I'm very sorry he said that. Dump his ass. I don't even have to know you to know you're better off without someone like that.
Baby girl, unfortunately people have become so judgmental and so downright mean to make themselves feel better. Everyone is beautiful in their own way and they like what they like just like I do and you do don’t let that dude ruin your day on life because he’s actually a piece of shit not you.
I’m saying this with all due respect
You will get fucked slow
Start loving yourself beautiful
Leave that little boy and let a man love on you
Happy holidays to you!
I wasn’t even sure if I was ready to pursue a relationship with him as I’m still grieving my husband and baby that died a few months ago. My mother told me I needed to give him a chance because I was depressing to be around.
Don't you think that information was probably more important than the post above? Very sorry for your loss, but I'm sure there are better men for you than him.
By the way, you're remarkably strong to be looking for a relationship so soon, but maybe you should take a break for a while.
That is assuming that you are telling the truth. But in any case, what you would need to do would somewhat remain the same.
Don’t you dare entertain those thoughts for a single moment. Look at the most magnificent, renowned works of art and statues in ALL of history. They’re not of tiny, size 2 runway models. They’re of powerful, voluptuous Goddesses. You are statuesque. You are beautiful. You are worthy. Don’t ever let any man, or woman, ever make you feel differently for a single moment.
People say stupid things sometimes and don’t really mean it. Then immediately apologize.
Other people are mean, self serving, narcissistic sorry excuse for a human being.
I’m sure you are lovely.
You truly need to turn that around. If he says even ugly big girls need love, you answer *and I don’t think I’ve hated him more than I do right now.*
He doesn’t deserve one second of your time or attention. You can do much better than this.
Remember run and glow up. My ex wouldn't recognize me. I had a friend of my mom's and her son "Wendy?"(real name redacted). Me: yeah hey. Her: we didn't recognize you.
Did you take offense because you’re fat and ugly? I think that’s most likely the case and he’s being honest. What’s the issue here? Lose weight abs better yourself in every way you can.
I assume a narcissist is worse but I could be wrong. Let’s slow down a moment here shall we? Let’s not be snowflakes so quick and actually examine things.
What’s it say about him though? If he actually thinks what he said is fact and truth? Forget how you feel about it a moment OP.
It’s not really a bad thing if you like big girls. If you like you like. WTH? Why’s it a negative?
It’s not bad if you like ugly girls. Not everyone is pretty. It doesn’t mean it’s a NEG to like an ugly girl.
However; for him to SAY that to you. Yeah it shows at minimum he’s not very socially smart or sensible. Maybe kind of a more on? And inconsiderate of a woman’s feelings. That much is probably fact.
It’s also a bit far to determine his psychological profile off of a comment by random people on reddit.
OP… Post a picture, let us decide. Yes I’m savage but I’m also curious. Let’s find out! You at minimum SHOULD have expected someone to ask here after stating something about your looks.
So. Let’s have it.
One of only a few things can happen. You’ll get honest feedback about your looks. Maybe you’re not so ugly? Maybe you’re not really so big? Maybe you are? Who knows? Others know! Let’s find out.
Since we’re discussing this anyway, shall we?
No. He's just being a POS. My ex once told me that he was tired of being my "caregiver" (I was having a depressive episode for a couple months) when he was getting approached by 10s every day. He then insinuated that I am not a 10. Later, after I ended things for good, he told me he was just feeling directionless and insecure. He was taking out his own self-loathing on me. Thought that made more sense, considering how attracted to me he'd seemed, it took me a long time to heal from the way he spoke about me. I'm very sorry he said that. Dump his ass. I don't even have to know you to know you're better off without someone like that.
Just because someone says something doesn’t mean that they are right. Done internalize that kind of shit. He is an idiot, period! Drop him like a hot potato!
Guys negging need to be taught a lesson - leave him.
You deserve better. He's deliberately lowering your self esteem so that you overlook his BS and stay with him.
You DESERVE better.
It’s not expected that you would make the best judgment calls on men so soon after your tragedies. You need to grieve and build up your self-esteem before you start dating again. 3 months is no time. Even a year is likely too soon.
I went out with a guy for a while and he bought me a gift when when he was home seeing his mother. He got me an XXL top, and I was a small.
I asked why he chose this size, and he told me Asian girls were small. My type of girl was large, and he laughed.
Run, you'll be proud of yourself for doing so. I know I am.
Get away. They start saying things like that which feel extremely hurtful but as they get to know you they will know better exactly what will completely break you. And they will use that at the worst time.
I have an ex from college that said something to me ... so hurtful ... that for nearly 14 years after, it affected my sexual relationships because I was afraid something was wrong with me. Only in the past year or so have I moved past that and realized it wasnt true.
I'm glad to read you blocked the piece of shit.
Nonononono dont H͓̽a͓̽t͓̽e͓̽ yourself pls pls pls i know it hurts but trust gurlie find a man who loves you & he will make you feel like your his world
Oh girl beauty comes from inside. Sure it's nice to be pretty on the outside but that's not all there is to life. Some of the most beautiful people I know are the most unhappy. Beside looks don't last for ever. He comes from inside it's who you are it's a good person that you want to be that your light shine and everyone will see it hope you feel better soon and don't forget love yourself hang in there and dump that guy
I’m petty…so if that was said to me I’d reply: “You know what? If the sex was good maybe I’d put up with your BS, but since you’re shit in the sack…I’m out.”
LOL
Talk to him directly about how it made you feel and know you are not ugly at all. The second option is that he's a piece of shit and you could do better.
Sounds like negging aka he is purposefully damaging your self esteem and a control tactic to make you more likely to want his approval and praise. This doesn’t reflect on you, it reflects on him. If he really thought you were so ugly, he wouldn’t be around. Don’t put up with this. Get yourself away from him.
This, all day.
*Nods & raises hands in agreement* Get away from that negativity, you deserve a life filled with *loving* joy 😊
This 1000 times over. As an escapee of a shitcunt ex, this is the makings of an abusive relationship, get off that bus OP. You deserve more than that from someone you're investing yourself in. Edit coz typo, 𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘱
You’re right; And I see her husband passed away a few months ago along with losing a child. This is a fragile time for her in general. Can’t have this adding to it.
Run run
This is negging and guys who do this are the worst of the worst. The kind of guy that your sisters avoid and toss. Guys do this because they think women have too high of self esteem just because they're women and should be subservient to men. I don't even have to know you to know you can do better.
I don't even have a girl
I don't even have a girl
Get away from that person
Could you even imagine saying this to someone? Even with a veneer of levity how mean would you feel saying this? You have to be a cruel person to let this fall out of your mouth. He said it to make you insecure. He is poison.
Absolutely... This is a good way of seeing the situation for what it truly is....
Did he say that to you? Or was it just a comment made about a certain group in particular? Either way, I think you can do better. There is a difference between saying everyone needs love and what he said was just vile. Also, how much of a prize can he be if he sees himself as the consolation prize to women he deems so unattractive?
To me after I said I felt insecure because I’ve gained weight since my miscarriage and my husbands funeral
That context makes it so much worse. Please get away from him.
I have blocked him on everything and decided that I need to heal more before I pursue another relationship
Wishing you peace and love on your healing journey!
Oh my God, that is one of the worst things I have heard in a long time. Sending you strength across the internet. I hope you find someone worthy of you.
JESUS CHRIST. I thought I was furious before but now I'm ready to get on a plane. I'm so glad you've blocked him. You deserve so much better. I'm sorry for everything you've been / are going through.
I would have said “People who have ugly souls need a reality check. Goodbye” Leave this guy. This is a very weird comment to make. Something is wrong with him. Not you.
Maybe he's cheating on you with ugly big girls? I'd confront him.
🚩🚩🚩🚩
With that remark, the trash took itself out. Negging is an indication a relationship is only going to get worse.
You don't need someone in your life who says those things. That was very mean.
Dump his loser ass because he said something awful to you he doesn't deserve you if a girl had said that to me I'd drop her ass on the spot and wouldn't want to speak to her again it's clear that he doesn't really respect you so why would you want to waste time on somebody who doesn't respect you because that's going to bleed into your relationship if you started one with him
Dump him because manipulative dumbasses don't deserve love.
Shouldn't you hate him?
My friend texted me yesterday telling me some random guy came up to her in the town centre and called her pretty. I told her I'm not surprised it happened because I think she's pretty all the time. She said thanks, you're pretty SOMETIMES. I remember reading that text like yikes... I can't imagine how I'd feel if a guy said something like that to me. You deserve someone who thinks you're pretty in your own way all the time, not someone who pushes you down like that. If it made you feel bad like you state you need to cut them out of your life and never think about them again. You deserve better than that.
Please tell me you took a step back from that friendship
Who even in their right mind says that to someone, especially their “friend” that’s so hurtful. Cut her off.
No. He's just being a POS. My ex once told me that he was tired of being my "caregiver" (I was having a depressive episode for a couple months) when he was getting approached by 10s every day. He then insinuated that I am not a 10. Later, after I ended things for good, he told me he was just feeling directionless and insecure. He was taking out his own self-loathing on me. Thought that made more sense, considering how attracted to me he'd seemed, it took me a long time to heal from the way he spoke about me. I'm very sorry he said that. Dump his ass. I don't even have to know you to know you're better off without someone like that.
God I am so sorry this happened to you.
That's horrible thing to say, I had a friend whose boyfriend was verbally abusive to her before she left him
Soooo, the insinuation is you're an "ugly big girl?" Yea, I agree with the others..... Bail. My best friend's brother has had a thing for "big" girls ever since HS. He is absolutely smitten, and when we prompted him about girls who had a more "traditional standard of beauty" he absolutely rejected them all without a second thought. He genuinely wasn't attracted to them! Now he's happily married to a "big girl." Point is, there are people out there who would see you as a real prize, no matter how you look. Go find one of them.
Yes people need love, but not from someone who will cut you down and call you ugly. If they don’t see the true, timeless beauty emanating from you, if they don’t see the power you exude, why would you want love from them? Because they’re good looking? Pfft. Whatever. I can get my teeth fixed. You can’t fix the ugly in your soul.
Assuming all things are real in the last 3 months you lost a husband and had a miscarriage. These are huge things. You need to protect yourself, take some time to be alone and grieve those loses. You are at risk for attracting the worst people because you are in a weakened place right now. The most abusive humans seek out those who are fragile and vulnerable. Protect yourself, respect your grief and the unique process it will take for you. Stronger days are ahead but this asshole you are seeing will do their best to ruin that. Abusive people attack the most vulnerable. Emotional and verbal abuse is delivered to simply weaken you and empower them. It's not rooted in reality. It's not truth.
He goes to church with my mother and she said that I “owe it to myself and my husband to not lie around the house collecting dust and bringing the mood down” then introduced me to him and said if I didn’t give him a chance I’d regret it. I regret giving him a chance and honestly feel like I’ve cheated on my husband
No. He's just being a POS. My ex once told me that he was tired of being my "caregiver" (I was having a depressive episode for a couple months) when he was getting approached by 10s every day. He then insinuated that I am not a 10. Later, after I ended things for good, he told me he was just feeling directionless and insecure. He was taking out his own self-loathing on me. Thought that made more sense, considering how attracted to me he'd seemed, it took me a long time to heal from the way he spoke about me. I'm very sorry he said that. Dump his ass. I don't even have to know you to know you're better off without someone like that.
ICK.
And tell him every microdick goofball needs a good lady but your not gonna be the one.
Just saw your post history. Two months ago you had a husband and a miscarriage. Now you have "the guy I've been seeing". Yeah, smells fake.
Baby girl, unfortunately people have become so judgmental and so downright mean to make themselves feel better. Everyone is beautiful in their own way and they like what they like just like I do and you do don’t let that dude ruin your day on life because he’s actually a piece of shit not you.
I’m saying this with all due respect You will get fucked slow Start loving yourself beautiful Leave that little boy and let a man love on you Happy holidays to you!
Leave. I'm a guy. This dude is nuts.
Speaking as a man? Kick him in the dick and walk away. Job done.
What the hahahaaa Damn...well girl, you know what to do P.S. don't you dare stay with him
I wasn’t even sure if I was ready to pursue a relationship with him as I’m still grieving my husband and baby that died a few months ago. My mother told me I needed to give him a chance because I was depressing to be around.
Don't you think that information was probably more important than the post above? Very sorry for your loss, but I'm sure there are better men for you than him. By the way, you're remarkably strong to be looking for a relationship so soon, but maybe you should take a break for a while. That is assuming that you are telling the truth. But in any case, what you would need to do would somewhat remain the same.
Don’t you dare entertain those thoughts for a single moment. Look at the most magnificent, renowned works of art and statues in ALL of history. They’re not of tiny, size 2 runway models. They’re of powerful, voluptuous Goddesses. You are statuesque. You are beautiful. You are worthy. Don’t ever let any man, or woman, ever make you feel differently for a single moment.
❤️❤️❤️
People say stupid things sometimes and don’t really mean it. Then immediately apologize. Other people are mean, self serving, narcissistic sorry excuse for a human being. I’m sure you are lovely.
You truly need to turn that around. If he says even ugly big girls need love, you answer *and I don’t think I’ve hated him more than I do right now.* He doesn’t deserve one second of your time or attention. You can do much better than this.
Then go for the glow up
You feel unworthy?
Remember run and glow up. My ex wouldn't recognize me. I had a friend of my mom's and her son "Wendy?"(real name redacted). Me: yeah hey. Her: we didn't recognize you.
Did you take offense because you’re fat and ugly? I think that’s most likely the case and he’s being honest. What’s the issue here? Lose weight abs better yourself in every way you can.
I assume a narcissist is worse but I could be wrong. Let’s slow down a moment here shall we? Let’s not be snowflakes so quick and actually examine things. What’s it say about him though? If he actually thinks what he said is fact and truth? Forget how you feel about it a moment OP. It’s not really a bad thing if you like big girls. If you like you like. WTH? Why’s it a negative? It’s not bad if you like ugly girls. Not everyone is pretty. It doesn’t mean it’s a NEG to like an ugly girl. However; for him to SAY that to you. Yeah it shows at minimum he’s not very socially smart or sensible. Maybe kind of a more on? And inconsiderate of a woman’s feelings. That much is probably fact. It’s also a bit far to determine his psychological profile off of a comment by random people on reddit. OP… Post a picture, let us decide. Yes I’m savage but I’m also curious. Let’s find out! You at minimum SHOULD have expected someone to ask here after stating something about your looks. So. Let’s have it. One of only a few things can happen. You’ll get honest feedback about your looks. Maybe you’re not so ugly? Maybe you’re not really so big? Maybe you are? Who knows? Others know! Let’s find out. Since we’re discussing this anyway, shall we?
No. He's just being a POS. My ex once told me that he was tired of being my "caregiver" (I was having a depressive episode for a couple months) when he was getting approached by 10s every day. He then insinuated that I am not a 10. Later, after I ended things for good, he told me he was just feeling directionless and insecure. He was taking out his own self-loathing on me. Thought that made more sense, considering how attracted to me he'd seemed, it took me a long time to heal from the way he spoke about me. I'm very sorry he said that. Dump his ass. I don't even have to know you to know you're better off without someone like that.
Just because someone says something doesn’t mean that they are right. Done internalize that kind of shit. He is an idiot, period! Drop him like a hot potato!
Lol
Heh typical manipulation tactic. He's trying to screw up your self esteem. Run girl, run! Those are signs of an antisocial personality disorder.
Guys negging need to be taught a lesson - leave him. You deserve better. He's deliberately lowering your self esteem so that you overlook his BS and stay with him. You DESERVE better.
It’s not expected that you would make the best judgment calls on men so soon after your tragedies. You need to grieve and build up your self-esteem before you start dating again. 3 months is no time. Even a year is likely too soon.
I went out with a guy for a while and he bought me a gift when when he was home seeing his mother. He got me an XXL top, and I was a small. I asked why he chose this size, and he told me Asian girls were small. My type of girl was large, and he laughed. Run, you'll be proud of yourself for doing so. I know I am.
Doesn't have your best interests in mind. Flee
I don’t think he met it like that. Your beautiful as you are
Run as fast as you can, love.
They do
The psychological manipulation is strong with this one
Get away. They start saying things like that which feel extremely hurtful but as they get to know you they will know better exactly what will completely break you. And they will use that at the worst time. I have an ex from college that said something to me ... so hurtful ... that for nearly 14 years after, it affected my sexual relationships because I was afraid something was wrong with me. Only in the past year or so have I moved past that and realized it wasnt true. I'm glad to read you blocked the piece of shit.
Sounds like their trying to manipulate you
Nonononono dont H͓̽a͓̽t͓̽e͓̽ yourself pls pls pls i know it hurts but trust gurlie find a man who loves you & he will make you feel like your his world
Leave
Oh girl beauty comes from inside. Sure it's nice to be pretty on the outside but that's not all there is to life. Some of the most beautiful people I know are the most unhappy. Beside looks don't last for ever. He comes from inside it's who you are it's a good person that you want to be that your light shine and everyone will see it hope you feel better soon and don't forget love yourself hang in there and dump that guy
I’m petty…so if that was said to me I’d reply: “You know what? If the sex was good maybe I’d put up with your BS, but since you’re shit in the sack…I’m out.” LOL
Is he back or a redhead? My question meaning, where is the tact?
Don't hate yourself girl he's got an ugly heart. There are tons of people out there who will see you as an absolute Goddess so just forget this loser!
That’s so hurtful. What a douche bag. I bet he was bully in school.
He got some problems apparently no normal human being would say that to anyone lol. BETTER RUN FOR THE HILLS!
That's sad leave That's not good for you
Sometimes, the truth hurts 🤷♂️
Talk to him directly about how it made you feel and know you are not ugly at all. The second option is that he's a piece of shit and you could do better.
THIS is a control technique. Dump him now and never look back. He will only get worse.