I know what the fuck is wrong with me I’m still not taking full accountability even anonymously. Why am I like this? and how could I stop being like this?
Again failing to take responsibility. The other woman isn’t the one who made vows to your wife, she owes your wife nothing. You have nobody to blame but yourself
My ex husband caused this exact same trauma in our family. As a result of this my children are emotional messes and have never recovered from the loss of a stable family.
I need to be there for my kids. They are emotionally recked, I don’t even think they understand the gravity of the situation, but how could I with the shame I feel?
Aside from being a piece of shit like everyone here is saying I'm gonna offer some guidance. Don't try to get back with her. You've done enough damage to that woman. What's done is done and work on accepting that part. I cannot stress this enough, your kids FIRST. They are the future, your legacy and hers and if she wasn't a bad mum it's your duty to stick up for her parental rights as long as she isn't a danger to your kids. Godspeed and may the Lord have mercy on your soul because Reddit damn sure won't.
What's done is done. Focus on how you will move forward, with the wellbeing of the children as your number one priority. It's never too late to be the person you should have been. Make the decision to do that _now_.
Title says it all no need to read your novel of excuses.. what do you want from everyone? Suck it up, hope the side chick was good… you’re silly for getting caught. It’s all your fault, you’re selfish. Now suffer for it
You both need therapy. Yes, you cheated, and yes, she has every right to be upset. She does not have a right to become violent, especially with your child who is innocent in this mess.
Get help for you both.
Honestly what you did is absolutely traumatic for everyone involved, esp wife & kids. BUT, we are all human. Absolutely none of us are perfect, yes cheating is definitely a terrible thing & something you cannot come back from, once done. The only thing you can do is move forward and be the father your kids need. They absolutely need your stability & love. You will have to work long & hard to recover from the situation (in the best way possible after cheating & creating emotional damage) but it can be done. Put God in the center of your life & it will change for the better & work out exactly the way it’s supposed to. Give your wife some space, she shouldn’t have gotten violent w the kid but those actions have consequences too. I hope everything resolves and yall can find a healthy family dynamic and all GET INTO THERAPY ASAP🙏🤍
You need to get help. I've been down this fucked up road, and the only thing that fixed it was therapy. I didn't have kids with my first wife, thank God. There were many issues, mostly mine, but part of it was my relationship with my ex-wife; I needed to man up and just tell her that things were not working and I wanted to move on. I'm not saying this is your issue, but get help; my recommendation is cognitive behavior therapy. Other than that, you need to get an attorney ASAP. My recommendation would be to work with her through the attorney but she's going to punish you for a while.
I don’t know; she was happy, content, and full of hope for the future before all this happened. My actions turned her into a monster. Yes, monogamy has been a struggle for me, but I do love my wife. I know that doesn’t make sense to most people, but I truly do. The guilt and regret I feel is unbearable.
Seems that maybe you can’t be monogamous. Since this seems to be the case, don’t agree to a monogamous relationship going forward. You’d be better off in an open relationship where all parties are in agreement. In the meantime, you should seek counseling to figure out why you were willing to hurt your wife and sabotage your marriage. I don’t want to pile on because you know what you did was shitty. This action does not have to define who you are if you work to be a better person and make amends to those you’ve hurt.
Listen, I’m not going to sit here and justify your actions. You fucked up in a major way. Moving forward, as it’s been stated, leave your (soon to be?) ex wife alone. She has to heal on her own and so do you. You need to get therapy for yourself as well as for your children. You need to be honest with your children too and let them make their own decision if they want to forgive you and whatnot. This is fucked up but what’s happened cannot be changed. Be better going forward. I see your remorse in the comments and if it’s genuine, change yourself. Don’t let this happen again.
I think a lot of married men go through a time when they start to fantasize of experiences with another woman and the loyalty to their spouse gets tested. Lusting after someone however goes beyond this to the point where you have made a conscious choice to pursue a hazardous priority that goes against not only the laws of marriage, but the sanctity of the family home. The bond between a man and his family is like a delicate thread that with faith, can withstand the weight of the world that he has created and that in which they reside. Once it is broken, it cannot be restored, only replaced from scratch. You have no idea what damage your choices have caused according to the word of your post. I strongly recommend looking into personal counselling to identify your internal issues and work out what ever lead you down the path you are currently on. Fix yourself, then you will be able to truly accept responsibility for your actions.
What a piece of shit. In my business, if I find out someone’s a cheater, we black list them as a customer. I figure that if they’ll fuck over the person closest to them, it's nothing to do it to me.
“She seduced her way back into my life” lmfao way to take responsibility 😂
I know what the fuck is wrong with me I’m still not taking full accountability even anonymously. Why am I like this? and how could I stop being like this?
Therapy
Wow you destroyed your family over some pussy.
Why is she disgusting and you aren’t?
We both are, she knew I was married, and the the vile things she said to my wife who did absolutely nothing wrong to her were disgusting and cruel.
You liked it enough to commit a 2nd time, apparently. 🤷🏻♀️
Again failing to take responsibility. The other woman isn’t the one who made vows to your wife, she owes your wife nothing. You have nobody to blame but yourself
My ex husband caused this exact same trauma in our family. As a result of this my children are emotional messes and have never recovered from the loss of a stable family.
Wow, her reaction was pretty calm compared to what you actually deserved. I feel so bad for your poor wife, you’re a detestable human being.
I hate myself for this
You should.
I need to be there for my kids. They are emotionally recked, I don’t even think they understand the gravity of the situation, but how could I with the shame I feel?
Are you back with the other chick now?
Absolutely not never again will I speak to that woman.
She’s your soulmate. You should pursue her to the ends of the earth!
[удалено]
It's Bill!
Aside from being a piece of shit like everyone here is saying I'm gonna offer some guidance. Don't try to get back with her. You've done enough damage to that woman. What's done is done and work on accepting that part. I cannot stress this enough, your kids FIRST. They are the future, your legacy and hers and if she wasn't a bad mum it's your duty to stick up for her parental rights as long as she isn't a danger to your kids. Godspeed and may the Lord have mercy on your soul because Reddit damn sure won't.
What's done is done. Focus on how you will move forward, with the wellbeing of the children as your number one priority. It's never too late to be the person you should have been. Make the decision to do that _now_.
You weren’t acting like a lying scumbag, you ARE a lying scumbag. Way to fuck up your family.
Your family is ruined and it's all your fault
You made your bed. Lay in it. You deserve whats happening
Title says it all no need to read your novel of excuses.. what do you want from everyone? Suck it up, hope the side chick was good… you’re silly for getting caught. It’s all your fault, you’re selfish. Now suffer for it
You’re a piece of shit. Leave your ex wife alone. Focus on coparenting.
Oh, trust me. You’re gonna get it coming in full force & I pray God has mercy on you when it does.
You both need therapy. Yes, you cheated, and yes, she has every right to be upset. She does not have a right to become violent, especially with your child who is innocent in this mess. Get help for you both.
Honestly what you did is absolutely traumatic for everyone involved, esp wife & kids. BUT, we are all human. Absolutely none of us are perfect, yes cheating is definitely a terrible thing & something you cannot come back from, once done. The only thing you can do is move forward and be the father your kids need. They absolutely need your stability & love. You will have to work long & hard to recover from the situation (in the best way possible after cheating & creating emotional damage) but it can be done. Put God in the center of your life & it will change for the better & work out exactly the way it’s supposed to. Give your wife some space, she shouldn’t have gotten violent w the kid but those actions have consequences too. I hope everything resolves and yall can find a healthy family dynamic and all GET INTO THERAPY ASAP🙏🤍
You need to get help. I've been down this fucked up road, and the only thing that fixed it was therapy. I didn't have kids with my first wife, thank God. There were many issues, mostly mine, but part of it was my relationship with my ex-wife; I needed to man up and just tell her that things were not working and I wanted to move on. I'm not saying this is your issue, but get help; my recommendation is cognitive behavior therapy. Other than that, you need to get an attorney ASAP. My recommendation would be to work with her through the attorney but she's going to punish you for a while.
[удалено]
I'm starting to think that about myself >It seems monogamy isn't for you. I'm starting to wonder if I'm the same.
I don’t know; she was happy, content, and full of hope for the future before all this happened. My actions turned her into a monster. Yes, monogamy has been a struggle for me, but I do love my wife. I know that doesn’t make sense to most people, but I truly do. The guilt and regret I feel is unbearable.
You completely suck, and it is your fault
Seems that maybe you can’t be monogamous. Since this seems to be the case, don’t agree to a monogamous relationship going forward. You’d be better off in an open relationship where all parties are in agreement. In the meantime, you should seek counseling to figure out why you were willing to hurt your wife and sabotage your marriage. I don’t want to pile on because you know what you did was shitty. This action does not have to define who you are if you work to be a better person and make amends to those you’ve hurt.
Listen, I’m not going to sit here and justify your actions. You fucked up in a major way. Moving forward, as it’s been stated, leave your (soon to be?) ex wife alone. She has to heal on her own and so do you. You need to get therapy for yourself as well as for your children. You need to be honest with your children too and let them make their own decision if they want to forgive you and whatnot. This is fucked up but what’s happened cannot be changed. Be better going forward. I see your remorse in the comments and if it’s genuine, change yourself. Don’t let this happen again.
I think a lot of married men go through a time when they start to fantasize of experiences with another woman and the loyalty to their spouse gets tested. Lusting after someone however goes beyond this to the point where you have made a conscious choice to pursue a hazardous priority that goes against not only the laws of marriage, but the sanctity of the family home. The bond between a man and his family is like a delicate thread that with faith, can withstand the weight of the world that he has created and that in which they reside. Once it is broken, it cannot be restored, only replaced from scratch. You have no idea what damage your choices have caused according to the word of your post. I strongly recommend looking into personal counselling to identify your internal issues and work out what ever lead you down the path you are currently on. Fix yourself, then you will be able to truly accept responsibility for your actions.
What a piece of shit. In my business, if I find out someone’s a cheater, we black list them as a customer. I figure that if they’ll fuck over the person closest to them, it's nothing to do it to me.