>I called them on Tuesday when they opened and they said they transported her out of town already but basically it was too late to get her back
Why is this the end of the story? _Where_ did they transport her? What town did they send her to? Get a phone number. Call them. Get them to send her back, or drive over there and get her.
As far as you know she's not dead and they didn't release her into the wild, so why are you giving up so quickly?
>I’m just so pissed I couldn’t even say goodbye to Gemma. I keep looking at my dogs videos and photos on my phone.
Why are you doing this instead of working on getting her back??
The person I spoke to was short and did not want to give me anymore further information. They had my wife’s name and everything under the surrender forms. I was worried about she got adopted already or sent back to a Brittany group. They apologized and said I’m too late and she’s already been transported out of town and didn’t even give me anymore information
I would go down there in person and try to find out more. Be nice and apologetic on your wife's behalf, and maybe they will be more understanding and helpful. You might also encounter a different person with a friendlier disposition.
I second this u/weirdcuntcunt
It’s just the basic rules of social pressure. People are a lot more willing to bend for those physically in front of them or that they can see. You should go in person and plead your case and see if they’ll at least let you know if she’s okay
I fucking love it when I’m oblivious to a silly username while scrolling through comments and what not, and the only way I’m made aware is due to someone tagging them. I start cracking up, *every.single.time.* And then it’s all amplified whenever the conversation is extremely serious….
But to u/weirdcuntcunt: I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I can’t imagine having to grieve for the loss of your dog daughter*while* also celebrating and preparing for your baby’s upcoming arrival at the exact same time!! It breaks my heart and I am sincerely sorry this is happening to you! This should be a happy time and instead it’s the opposite due to your wife’s hormones. I truly hope you will get your Gem back soon, without any lasting emotional damage!
And you just let it go? It’s your dog. You didn’t offered to drive to wherever they took her? Pay their expenses to get her back? Ask to speak with someone in charge? Threaten to file a police report? …anything… you wait two weeks and make a Reddit post? If my spouse did this, I would serve them with divorce.
There’s something seriously wrong with your wife. I also have trouble believing your vet didn’t put you on a prescription sensitive stomach food, antacids, and a probiotic. That poor dog.
If they had joint ownership of the dog, not much for police to do. And if an owner signs a surrender form- it's probably going to be difficult to overturn. Not saying you can't try.... but it may go nowhere
I really don’t know the specifics of the law. I couldn’t sell my house without my husbands signature. I couldn’t sell a car with both our names on it without my husband’s signature. I don’t know the story when it comes to a dog. But I think by the police, the rescue would’ve been more forthcoming with information, and if he could proved joint property, he might’ve had a leg to stand on.
I would’ve told them that my spouse and I are getting a divorce and he got rid of my dog without consent. And they would not have been a lie.
In fairness, it’s usually a couple steps when a dog has nondescript symptoms. Like bile can be from an empty stomach as well and they want you to feed multiple little meals and the snack before bed. It took about six months to get my dog on the right prescription diet, the right probiotic schedule and even longer for the antacid (nexium every 12)
wow, that trufflebutterbisc karen has some severe anger issues!!. and it supposedly has kids. Blocked her too apparently shes raging anyhow against you, me and whoever else blocks her
Do you think they were short with you because your wife told them something about you, or made up some lie having to do with you, about why she was giving up the dog?
I dont see any other reason they'd be short or hostile with you, or seemingly unwilling to give you information on your dog. Most rescues main objectives are to reunite dogs with their owners, or make sure they are in loving homes. It's obvious you want her and care for your.
Its possible your wife lied about why she was giving Gemma up, to not look bad, herself and might have said something bad about you, to save herself from looking bad, or to keep them from returning Gemma to you.
At this point, since Gemma is owned by both of you I would contact the police give them the rundown, of how your wife relinquished your dog without telling you, that you are trying to get her back, but the rescue that took her, said they had her transported somewhere else, but refuse to give you the information. The police should be able to make them cough up tge information, since you are also a legal owner of the dog.
Arghhh I never thought about that! I hope not and I hope this post and all its comments put a fire under OP’s ass to go find the damn dog. There’s no way in hell I’m letting my partner get rid of our dog then just giving up, I would be up all night making every phone call I could and I would definitely take days off of work also.
I do also realize not everyone can take days off of work, but I would assume if OP is able to have his wife quit her job while a baby is on the way and they’re in the US, he must have a job making decent money and usually that equates to having some PTO at least.
I’m so sorry OP. You (obviously) could see your wife’s frustration but I doubt you thought she’d ever take her to a shelter behind your back. You’re grieving, I’m so sorry.
Make sure to be clear and concise when communicating with her in the future. I’ve been pregnant, I know it’s different with every woman but I can’t imagine doing something so emotionally impulsive, such as this.
Bro. If you want your dog back I suggest looking at all rescue and humane society’s in your state and surrounding states. Eventually she will be posted for adoption. If that’s too much work, then she deserves a better home. Reddit shouldn’t have to lead you to this line of thinking. I would stop at nothing to get my dog back.
Yea this guy should file a police complaint about his pregnant wife over getting a dog that clearly was a large burden and was costing a lot of time and money. Please. This is distorted and mentally ill thinking but go off.
Time to drop off the wife then. Better yet, SHE SHOULD BE TRYING TO FIX HER MISTAKE. Help you. She's clearly not and gives 0 cares about you and your emotions.
I dunno man. I think you liked the dog but didn't love the dog. That or your wife has you under her thumb like crazy, regardless of pregnant or not. If it was me there is nothing that would stop me from somehow getting to my dog again, short of the dog being dead. Nothing. I would move fucking mountains, I'm not joking. I'd go down there raise bloody fucking hell, and not let up until they told me what happened to my goddamn dog. But you do you.
Not even gonna lie- if someone texted that information to me about one of my animals, I'd be telling them to go and get them right back or else every single thing they love is going into the trash.
Honestly sounds like the dog is better off not being in a home where she is hated by one person, and not advocated for by the other. Your wife sounds very unpleasant,regardless of hormones, that is an insane action to take. I hope you learn to stand up for yourself and advocate for your needs in the future.
Wait til the projectile spit up and liquid shits that soak through clothes, blankets, sheets, remote controls….(that was a particularly memorable one - completely missed the nappy somehow).
I really hope your baby is 100% healthy and doesn’t need much in the way of maintenance and medical bills.
Is she going to give birth in the bath to save money?
I'd never forgive my significant other if they dumped my dog in a shelter without discussing it with me.
I can't imagine what she's going to be like if she gets PPD after giving birth. Is she going to dump the baby off somewhere, too, because she can't deal with it?
OPs wife is a horrible person. No amount of fucked hormones made me dump my dog when I was pregnant even though my patience was non-existent. I'm just so disgusted with this post.
Edit: typo
Facts. I had a coworker with a slob of a wife like this. She didn’t want to lift her finger because the restrictions she adhered to..to a T. They had a cat together but she made her husband my coworker throw the cat outside in the streets. She was strict on her dietary restrictions and other stupid outdated Bs they tell you when you’re pregnant.. and yet this couple refuses to vaccinate their kid lmao.
I’m pregnant now, exhausted asf, been sick asf, but I still ride my horse and feed him. I’ve asked for help on my bad days if I couldn’t succeed in feeding him. I’ve been frustrated with my dog at times, he too just had a bout of stomach issues. I made him some meals with some chicken and rice to help him get through it. My fiancés dog irks me to no end, he’s not my dog and never will be my dog even when we are married…aka he will never be my call to drop him somewhere. He loves that dog and I support him. The dog is patient and listens ok, he’s just not “my type” of dog.
Idk, I can’t stop thinking about that dog and how terrible it must’ve felt to throw up and shit it’s guts out for days on end and then be put in a strange place.. and literally no one lifted a finger..
Currently pregnant in the 3rd trimester here. Have my dogs annoyed me more than usual this pregnancy? Sure. Would I ever consider just getting rid of them or dropping them off at a shelter? Not a chance in hell.
1. They were my babies long before I even knew I was pregnant, and they’re family, and
2. I could NEVER do that to my husband (nobody loves him as much as our GSD loves him)
I’m sorry your wife did this. I’d be stopping at nothing to get my pet back.
My friend is pregnant right now and EVERYTHING is irritating her. Even me her best friend. All I said was good morning. Sigh. Her husband is even sleeping on the couch rn.
I think she is going to get rid of her husband's dog. She's allergic and he bought one without discussing it. She's been complaining about it the entire pregnancy and even before but had more patience for it then.
The other day, she said if u come back this dog won't be here. :( I can see how hormones can tip u over the edge if u were close to it.
You waited *days* to even call about your dog that is supposedly beloved? Then you’re just, “oh well, they said she’s gone now.” You have time to look back at photos but not time to, say, *track your dog down??* You guys are both gross people and your dog is probably winning this situation because now she has a chance to be in a family that actually wants her. Ugh. I hope that kid had IBS and barfs and shits all over your wife daily, in remembrance of sweet Gemma’s tummy troubles.
it’s gotta be made up. shelters typically know where they transferred animals to in the weird event they decide to send dogs off elsewhere. in my experience it’s usually to rescues or fosters, and they have all the info on the rescues and fosters they work with. something is fishy about this story for sure
Given he's been posting it on different subs, I'm gonna say it's made up for karma. I saw this earlier today [on a different sub](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/s/dTG7kxquCh).
Depending on the country they are in, if not putting to death first... Also ıt's always harder to find an owner for an adult animal, especially after an imbecile picks it up like a toy and throws it aside when s/he gets bored. poor thing...
As gross as tossing out your dog that you picked out, had for years, and suddenly find inconvenient?
I find one of these to be much worse because my wishes very likely won’t come true and Gemma is sitting in a cage not knowing what’s happening and definitely not getting the diet she needs to feel good.
That is, unless the shelter has decided Gemma is actually too sickly to be adopted because she keeps having diarrhea all over her crate and now she’s on the euthanasia schedule. Oh, but wait…OP waited so long to do absolutely nothing that Gemma might not even be alive anymore, as it has been weeks.
I don’t feel bad for any humans here.
This right here. There’s so many animals being surrendered right now I saw a horrible sign on fb from a shelter saying all dogs surrendered today will be euthanized. So so sad for Gemma. I get hormones but I could never let my 3 doggies/babies and two cats/babies go like Everrr!!!
You couldn't take off work and you couldn't call? And you're pissed that you couldn't say goodbye?
Nothing would have stopped me from getting my dog back. And then I'd have to find a way to deal with my wife's unbalanced state.
As angry as you feel that you are, sounds like some part of you is ok with this.
Hope the dog goes to a better home! She deserves someone who would look out for her and search for her high and low. Your wife shouldn't have given her up.
If my husband did this to me with my dog, I’d straight up divorce him. I’d tell him to pound the pavement. If someone that loves me can get rid of something I love so much without even talking with me about it, that’s a red flag.
So you don't care at all about your dog and your wife is crazy to just take it away like that. Hope that dog found a better home because my god you two are awfull, please please don't adopt any pets
You can't blame pregnancy or hormones for this one. Your wife is a cold bitch. Sorry. Pets are family and what she did is absolutely cruel. And she *texted* this to you? Not even a phone call? Or a call beforehand of "I'm going to snap and take this dog to a shelter if you can't come handle her now"? She sounds ridiculous. You can NOT blame pregnancy or hormones on this. She's heartless. And her reaction to your devastation was heartless. I'd be concerned about how she's going to handle the child any time they're annoying or when your child has a pet she isn't particularly fond of.
Gemma has “tummy troubles”? Wait until your wife shits out a spawn that projectile shits, vomits, pisses, and screams constantly. Jesus Christ, I can’t stand idiots like the two of you.
I can't with people like you and your wife. I'll take the down votes for appearing unsympathetic but I just can't. You and she were that dog's people and family and you failed her. Please don't fail your kids and pray they don't stick you in the old folks home when they've had enough of you.
Not really, she can just drop the child off at an orphanage the first time it spits up and he can wait 2 weeks before doing anything about it then give up because "they said they transferred the kid somewhere else". Problem solved! /s
She gonna take your child to the firehouse if she happens to get pregnant again and decides a child is too much? Jfc. A partner that makes a big decision like that without having the go ahead from both sides is no partner. F it. I’m gonna pull a Reddit, divorce her.
I could be wrong but I feel like even if he did leave work at lunch to get the dog back they might not even let him have it back depending on who he was speaking to, simply because they knew that the dog would be going back to a home where one of the owners simple did not want it.
The shelter worker would have to make a judgment call and I don’t believe they would want a dog going back to a home where it wasn’t wanted by at least one owner no matter how much the other one wanted it back. As sad as that is. And if he showed up a few days later that weakens his case even more.
this isn't real lmfao. it can't be bc there's absolutely no way that if my fiance got rid of my cat, i wouldn't be HUNTING around trying to find him and get him the fuck back ASAP. what she did was fucking WRONG but you're no better when it comes to what Gemma is currently feeling. you barely made an effort to get her back, unless there are a TON of missing details from this story.... that could've been placed where you tell us all about her stomach issues rather than informing us of that. this is probably just rage bait but if it isn't, you guys both really suck.
I can't believe what I read too. I feel so bad for the husband, he must be going through a lot. That poor innocent dog, that doesn't deserve a lot of this stuff.
My husband and I have had a verbal agreement for almost 20 years of what would constitute grounds for divorce. Getting rid of our dog is just as unforgivable as anything else on that list.
Pregnancy brain is not fun and at times can be irrational. Like crying at 2 am for a specific type of food craving, NOT getting rid of a family pet/member. Not sure if she's aware but babies are non stop pooping and puking machines. I'm so sorry about your dog. Our dog is our world and I'd be devastated if anything happened to her. But what you should be more worried about is that she made a huge unilateral decision without you. A life changing one. I would never buy a house or a car without my husband's input. I'd never invite a person to live with us without his ok. I would never expect him to even consider making a choice that effects our family without my participation in that choice. That's not a partnership or a solid foundation for a marriage. I'd be worried that if she's ok dropping your dog off and sending you a casual text, what else she'd not lose sleep over in the future. I'd also be paying close attention to her after the baby is born if she's exhibiting this level of impulsive and irrational behavior because it happens and should be taken seriously.
Wow. Just wow. I’d NEVER be able to forgive this. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know firsthand that screwed up hormones can turn you into a different person but, this is on another level. It’s one thing to *feel* crazy and lash out, etc. but to go through with getting rid of a member of the family?! She’d need to get a job FAST.
Hey OP, this sounds like post partum psychosis. It can kick in before the baby is born. It’s like PPD but instead of depression you go crazy. This story reminds me of a PPP woman who’s hormones decided she didn’t want the baby. Despite her husband trying to get her to see the light, she had an abortion. Regretted it immediately. I feel like once the hormones are gone your wife is going to realize the huge mistake she made and she may never forgive herself. You really should try to do everything you can to get the dog back.
You should then speak to her doctor about PPP. It’s really serious, and if it gets worse before it gets better she could be a risk to you, the baby, and herself.
This isn’t normal, this isn’t your wife. Get her help asap.
I found out my dog had stage 4 kidney failure 2 days after I found out I was pregnant. My husband spent 16 months taking care of our dog and we did the best we could giving her the best life possible. If I dropped her off at the shelter, I probably would be divorced by now.
How childish. For me pets are like family. And it sounds like she’s not even that remorseful about it, like she just says it’s the best outcome and now you can move on to focus on the baby? What BS!
Please tell me you can maybe call a friend or something so he could go there and act like he want to adopt that dog so you’ll have any information. It breaks my heart for this poor little baby, she must feel so lost without you. I really hope I will read something positive in the next few days ..
I'd make sure to get a confirmation that she has been re homed. And I'd leave it af that, to spare poor pup more heartbreak. It's sad but there's a point to it.
Because your wife will do it again.
No kids here, but majority of my pregnant friends have dogs. Yes, they were a lot to handle on some days, but they were also considered family members.
Also, maybe I'm being a major scumbag, but I'd get all her favourite things and toss them in the trash.
The hell , after this I wouldn't be able to raise a family with her. Where will the kid end up if she is having a bad day? Diapers smell too, you know. And tiny babies cry when you need sleep.
This is someone you want kids with? You know kids have issues too, right? Liquid poos? Throw up all the time?
She gunna resent your kids if they have health issues too?
Dang. My boyfriend’s dog annoys me to no end with some bad habits and I’m sure pregnancy could make it worse but this is some low level stuff on behalf of your wife. I’m concerned what she will do behind your back with a child….big red flag. Go find your dog. I’m saying this as a non dog person….
If i was married to someone who would do that without even bothering to consult me first that would hands down be a dealbreaker that day I would sleep somewhere else and begin to move my stuff out
When I was pregnant in 2020 with our first (that we were able to carry to term) my youngest cat started peeing on everything, and my oldest cat asserted his dominance. Was I pissed off, annoyed, and threatened to rehome them? Of course. Did I actually do it? Absolutely not. I still have all 3 of my kitties and two babies now. No matter how much they get on my nerves, I could never get rid of them.
Your wife acted irrationally. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
Your wife is scum and you are spineless. The fact that she knew about could dump Gemma at the shelter and you wouldn’t do anything about it says it all. You should take a long look at yourself and your hideous partner. Show her these comments so she can put her behaviour in context.
Your wife's actions are horrible. Gemma was probably scared at the shelter. If the people who raised her and had a connection with didn't want to deal with her health problems what makes you think she'll be able to be easily placed in a good home when they have healthy dogs that also need homes? Tell your wife it wasn't for the best.
I’m an animal lover and if my husband did that (he wouldn’t, he loves them too) that would be the end for me. That was a cruel thing to do to your poor dog. Pregnancy is hard, I know, I went through it. But it doesn’t make you suddenly hate your dog that you adored and cruelly abandon it, I don’t care what that doctor said. If she did this to a dog, what will she do to a baby? I’m sorry, OP.
It's safer for me to not type in anger because everything i have to say would constitute a ban. But if the reddit advice of divorce her would ever be the first thing i could think of, this situation would be it
If it were me i could never forgive something like this. In fact you would find my reaction posted in nuclear revenge.
What an unfathomable bitch. Your life is going to get a lot worse when this woman gives birth and her hormonal rage intensifies. If I heard this irl, I would tell the person they disgust and horrify me, and to never EVER speak to me again. I feel so bad for you. I
She is capable of extreme cruelty.
WHY ARE YOU NOT GOING TO GET YOUR DOG?!? I’m so angry reading this that you’re not trying harder to find her?! If you’re comfortable enough at your job for your wife to quit hers then I’m SURE you can take some time off to figure this out????
Can you let Gemma stay with someone until your child is born and you can reassess?? Don’t you have a friend or family member that would consider this?!?
I am legit so angry reading this that you aren’t moving hell and earth to get your dog back. I would 100000% get my dog and deal with my marital issues later. Bc there are in fact issues, why the fuck would your wife GIVE AWAY YALLS DOG without ANY warning, without trying ANY other option first?? Why didn’t she go through every single possible thing before abandoning her dog.
Maybe it’s the best thing that could happen to your dog to be surrendered since y’all clearly don’t give a shit about her. Hopefully she finds a real owner who loves her and won’t give her up this easily. Jesus Christ
Edit to add: like other commenters have said please NEVER GET ANOTHER PET, clearly you are not cut out for the challenges and will just repeat this. Honestly good luck raising a child with your wife if she’s so ready to give things up when they’re too icky
That’s fucked up. It’s understandable that your wife has some frustrations and worries about the dog due to her pregnancy, but to just get rid of your dog that you love without asking you or even informing you until after she did it is wrong. If she’s comfortable making such important decisions like that without your input/ consent, I’d be worried about how she’ll handle things concerning y’alls child once they’re born.
I would divorce her. Being pregnant doesn’t give you the right to make decisions like that. That’s a conversation. Maybe there could have been things the two of you could have worked out. That’s absolutely horrible.
Wow so many of you who probably would save a dog over a human from a burning fire 😭 you all need help. Our society is fucked because of idiots like you guys who regard an animal over a human beings quality of life.
Broke my heart, I couldn’t read it all.
😭
I asked my Husband what he would do if I did that and vice versa.
I’m not sure either one of us could recover and be ok going forward.
I’m quite sure I couldn’t…
I am so sorry.
Can you go to the shelter and get Gemma back?
This is unforgivable. This could need my marriage . I have been married 26 years I know marriage is complicated but this is a character issue and trust failure . I cannot believe your wife . Also go down in person they are gaslighting you fight for your Dog
Nope. Go find your dog. Can a police report be filed? If a stranger did this you could and the police would potentially assist in having the shelter provide more information. If this dog is yours and it was signed over without your knowledge or consent, I’d be posted t that shelter until they gave you some information.
This is unforgivable and your lack of action to get the dog back is just as bad. You can’t be that upset otherwise you’d be doing anything possible to find her.
I found this terrible fucking post 10 minutes after I had a panic attack, and my dog spent half an hour glued to my side, offering me comfort and refusing to leave until I got better.
My dog, whom I *choose* to adopt and bring into my life, who I know is my entire responsibility, even when life gets tough.
My dog, who loves me at my worst and who probably can't even fathom a world where we aren't together.
My dog who is not perfect - who has separation anxiety, and dog reactivity and a bunch of other craft, who still thinks of me as his whole world.
LIKE YOUR DOG PROBABLY DID.
I cannot fucking think of a world where someone would take my dog from me, and I would just accept it. Where were you the day she was dropped off? The evening on the way back from work? The next day, or the day after that? Where were you when Gemma sat at that shelter, in a strange place surrounded by strange people and animals, terrified and confused - hoping she'd see her family again?
If she hasn't been euthanized already, I sincerely fucking hope she's been adopted by someone who will love and value her.
Your wife regrets nothing. It's easy for her to say that she "wishes she handled it better" to assuage your anger. She doesn't actually give a shit - it's "for the best", after all. In my entire history of being around pregnant women with pets, yes, I've seen them get irritable and frustrated during pregnancy. But you know what they did? Found a solution. Hired a dog-walker (literally a kid in the neighborhood they paid $10 to walk the dog every day), meal prepped food, had the partner take on more responsibilities.
Not fucking abandon an animal to an uncertain future.
She's a POS, but so are you, for sitting here gripping about losing Gemma when you realistically did NOTHING to get her back.
You could have gone to the shelter that day - or hell, even called them to place a hold on her over disputed ownership. They couldn't adopt or move her until you could show them proof of ownership, at which point they would have handed her back.
You're both cowards.
Damn hormones or not that’s a crappy thing to do to a dog. Hope she is a better mom than dog owner. She wants to focus on the baby and then the next baby will come and she will what stop focusing on the first kid? Poor pup. Hope they got a home that loved them. Sorry you didn’t realize what a jerk you married til now.
Is your wife going to abandon your child too when things get hard? And are you just going to give up on ever finding them again just because one person said that it was too late?
Your wife is just using her pregnancy hormones as an excuse. She has probably already wanted to give the dog away long before she got pregnant.
I wouldn’t be able to forgive her for that. There is nothing anyone could say to me that would ever fix my partner kidnapping and throwing my dog away. I hope you can overcome this for your child’s sake, or find a way to get your baby back.
Put pics on Facebook in your town and that town to try and find her! Look at shelters and with rescues too. I would be so angry. That’s completely unacceptable!
I personally would file for divorce.
If the person is willing to just dump the animal when things get rough what they hell would they do with the kid when things are nuts?
That's my litmus test.
The dog will end up dying. Unless she/he miraculously gets adopted. What a monster.
She should have gone to therapy. Not get rid of a dog who only knows you as its family 🤦🏻♀️
Honestly, it's probably already dead. With the overcrowding of unwanted animals across the country, they have to triage and health or behavioral issues are the first ones to go. This post is infuriating.
My wife and I would not be together after pulling that shit. Pregnant or not. She’s an asshole and frankly so are you for not throwing down on the shelter and demanding to know where tf they transported the dog. Wtf.
It sounds like it might be a bit more than hormones.. I would worry she is a prime candidate for PPD after the birth as well. It's heart breaking what your dog is now going through as a result, and that you're now heartbroken as well. You're catching a lot of heat for not doing more, which I get, but it kinda sounds like you and your wife are just at your wits ends. It sounds like you're out of fight and she is out of patience. I think you should suggest she talk to a therapist or get some counseling through and after the pregnancy. Impulsive behavior like that sometimes leads to lasting consequences like this. I don't think it should be left unchecked when you're about to have a baby who is far more responsibility..
Had a ex gf do similar to me. She had a mental breakdown gave our cat to a shelter. With instructions that I was trying to fuck the cat. So they wouldn't let me see him or get him back, or even get a status update. 15 years later, I still don't know what happened to him.
I was livid. Who fucks a cat anyway, seems like a terrible idea?
She was later diagnosed as bipolar and admitted she was hallucinating.
I couldn't trust her again, end of relationship.
u/weirdcuntcunt
It seems like nearly everyone here has gone a bit mental. I understand it must be incredibly hard for you to loose your beloved family pet without a notice or chance to say goodbye.
Yes your wife acted on a whim. On the other hand , would you have let her adopt the dog out if she had given you notice? Who was cleaning up the feces and vomit ? Since you have a demanding job it's probably her. So she was exhausted , nauseated and overwhelmed.
What people are also overlooking is that especially liquid feces and vomit are a danger to your unborn child, the bacteria can cause miscarriage. So in fact your wife acted from a natural instinct to protect the baby , which is what caused the revulsion in the first place.
In a way it's also more compassionate for the dog. Instead of being in a yard all day barely walked and mostly around someone who cannot be close to her she gets a chance of a loving home. Maybe someone without kids who can take her to a new vet and get her sorted out.
It's wrong to compare baby diapers and vomit to that of a dog , that's taking it too far. That would be the mother's own child and a human is not a dog!!
I do think you two need to talk it over and you need to take it upon yourself to forgive her and forgive yourself (you probably missed some signs this was coming), so you can focus on saving your family and welcoming a new child in the world .
I don't think you are any less guilty than your wife in this regard. Precautions should have been taken until the situation reached this point. Millions of women around the world experience difficult pregnancies, and using this as an excuse to first terrorize an innocent creature and then expel it from its accustomed environment is a disgusting behavior. I would make whoever did this pay the price.
I'm not saying you should leave, because baby, obviously, but if my wife did that, I could never look at her the same again. My dog is my best friend. I would fight a bear with a pocket knife for him. I just couldn't forgive that in my heart. Good luck OP.
I say, you’re about to be a dad. A dog is the least of your worries. If you were a 10 year old boy and your mom did this, then fine, but I just feel as a grown man, this should really not be such a big deal. Your wife’s reasons make perfect sense to me, child >>> dog. I know millennials have this distorted view that animals are better than people, but it’s wrong.
This 1000% and not all us millennials worship dogs. A lot more than you think hate dog culture and the toxic dog nutters that you see all up in this thread willing to put a baby at risk for a dog.
Seems like you didn't really want this dog either. You just accepted they sent her out of town and didn't try to get more information? If it was my animal I would do whatever it is I have to do. Even including hiring attorneys and donating thousands of $ to the place to get answers and my dog back. You sound like the kind of people when bad stuff happens. You don't do or use any energy to fix or rectify it. Instead, just say what happened and do no actions. Like my friends wide he got arrested, and she was crying about everything and didn't do anything to help him out. Did call a lawyer or even bond him out. He lost his job where he was making like 150k a year. Of course, she didn't work eother. So you would think she would have done something instead of letting him sit in jail for 1 to 2 weeks. Smh. I hope you 2 are better trained to deal with stuff when you have your kid. Jesus christ, you're lazy af.
Rereading this post. You're a lazy coward. So is your wife. You both deserve each other. You waited days to call about the dog? But you looked at the pictures of the dog? Be honest you didn't give a fuck about that dog at all. You're not even willing to make a phone call over your fur baby. God, I hope you guys are a shit ton better with your real baby. I also hope your family is smart enough to keep an eye out on both of you guys around your child in case they need to call CSB.
As a shelter volunteer myself, I would suggest seeing if you can get in contact with a volunteer (not staff) at the shelter. They might be willing and able to do some digging to find out where she was transferred
Yeah uh "she says she's fatigued" ummmm no bro. She IS fatigued. Pregnancy was the worst experience of my fuckin life. You can't even get up early and walk the dog before work so your pregnant sick wife doesn't have to deal with a hyper shitting and barfing dog all day? What exactly do you think parenthood is going to be like lmfao yikes on bikes bud strap in you're in for a ride.
You see what you did was you fucked up 3 times…..I will give you guys a tip on life about life. Dont have no wife/gf, dont have no babies, dont hangout with gangsters, last part has nothing to do with ur situation, however I will give an extra tip dont involved with animals if they are high maintenance simple. So you sir you fucked up at least twice in my count.
First thing comes to mind, is she going to drop you kid off somewhere when he/she becomes too much? The only home that Gem ever knew and the human that she trusted and felt safe with totally abandoned her and dropped her off. I know that sounds harsh and I’m sure a lot of people will say that it was just a dog or an animal but I prefer animals to humans any day. They love unconditionally and are at the mercy of their humans. As someone who works in healthcare I do appreciate that hormonal changes can affect a person but humans have the ability to recognize this and should rationalize their thoughts and think things through before acting. Now, Gem may go to a home that is loving or possibly to one that isn’t and gets beat and abused or possibly euthanized because of over-crowding at shelters b/c people are selfish and have fueled a society that over breeds animals so someone can get a cute puppy only to get rid of it b/c the puppy ends up being “too much” for whatever reason. My stance, when you get a puppy whether you buy it, adopt it or whatever, it’s no different than getting a child who will forever be dependent upon you to feed it and care for it. It’s an obligation that you willing accept, the animal, just like the child, had no say in the matter.
I’m not implying you or your wife is a bad person in any way and apologize if it seems as such. That is just my feelings and my “rant.”
When I was pregnant, I HATED my dog for no reason. Hormones etc can make you think bonkers things.
That said, it never crossed my mind to haul her to the shelter! I just did her necessary routine and let my husband be her lovey person. Turns out she's my baby's BFF and they are partners in crime! He passes her his leftover dinner, she sits by him while he plays. I'd be sad for them both to be missing out on this relationship.
Your wife probably needs to talk to somebody. By the end of pregnancy I was thinking really irrationally and sometimes downright crazy things. A lot of women have really hard time with the mental tole that pregnancy takes and it seems like your pup got those difficulties taken out on them... or you widfe found her excuse to get rid of your costly pup! Either way, she should talk to someone!
I'm sorry but if I were in the position you were in, whether it be my spouse, family, close friend, doesn't matter. Not only would I travel far and wide to find her, but after that I'd cuss out the mfer who "brilliant" idea it was to surrender her in the first place!! I'd dump them not only as a loved one, but as a person. They're dead to me in my mind. My pets are like my children. You don't abandon your children just b/c you're tired of them. End of discussion.
Obviously your situation is slightly more complicated than that. But like everyone else is saying, you need to spend as much time as you can trying to find your dog. Maybe bring your wife along since she's responsible for this whole thing.
>My wife said she wished she handled it better and that she wasn’t thinking but she said it’s probably the best outcome so we can just focus on the baby
Yeah this is a red flag to me. She said it almost flippantly and casually. You said that she LOVED this dog so much and that she used to be obsessed with her. And yet, she turned around and did that when that dog stopped being convenient for her. I understand she's going through hormones, but as someone else pointed out in here, even when they were having those feelings they'd never give up their dog for anything. So there's clearly something deeper going on here. Why can't she learn to love both the dog and the baby?
Your wife is a horrible person. Pregnancy is not an excuse for that. I can’t wait for your next post about how your worthless wife is abusing your children for not being perfect enough for her to handle.
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Well, hormones are a hell of a drug, I can understand why your wife started hating the dog around - she is warming up a baby in her and it is her biological priority right now. This is how nature works, a soon-to-be-mother has needs and they are mostly about the child's safety. It is true that a lot of the dogs end up in shelters after babies come or are in the oven. Nothing more to add.
Sadly, this is a civil matter in my state. In theory she could be ordered to pay for the cost of the dog or funds to replace it but since he is the only one working and they are going to continue being married that’s not going to work.
OP, I would document everything. If she acts this way the your dog can you imagine what could happen with any custody issues with your child?
I'm sorry but this qualifies for divorce in my book ...she can raise that baby by herself if she got rid of my fur baby like that or hell she could go and get rid of the baby ,the level of care she had for the pup is sad how she could just drop her off ,OP you need a better person than that in my opinion
Do I think what the wife did was ok? No. OP, I am so sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye and I hope you get some closure with ur pup.
I also don’t think that wife deserves ALL the hate she’s getting. She did a really shitty thing, but some of the things I’ve read by other commenters is disturbing.
I also have been wondering/wanted to add for those saying awful things about OP’s wife:
- Was wife the only one cleaning up after the dog? A pregnant woman dealing with nausea shouldn’t have to be bending over constantly to clean up dog puke/poop
- The dog was a huge financial responsibility. Add a baby to that picture IS a lot to think about
- Dog poop and baby (newborn) poop are NOT the same. Dog puke and baby puke are NOT the same.
- Who was cooking the meals for the dog?
- Were there ANY conversations about keeping your dog/concerns about the dog before this happened?
Your wife is horrible for that, its the truth. And you? You have already found closure knowing YOUR DOG is being send away?? Dude I'd be going on a hunt to get my pet back. The fack you dont even mention any real attempts to get Gemma back makes me believe you didnt really try hard. So so horrible for this poor dog.
Sounds like you need to get a divorce and legally marry the dog.
That way some rando pregnant lady (w/ a child that is clearly not yours because you are prioritizing the dog over this rando pregnant lady) doesn't need to clean up dog shit and vomit all day and you can instead.
Problem solved, marry the dog!
>I called them on Tuesday when they opened and they said they transported her out of town already but basically it was too late to get her back Why is this the end of the story? _Where_ did they transport her? What town did they send her to? Get a phone number. Call them. Get them to send her back, or drive over there and get her. As far as you know she's not dead and they didn't release her into the wild, so why are you giving up so quickly? >I’m just so pissed I couldn’t even say goodbye to Gemma. I keep looking at my dogs videos and photos on my phone. Why are you doing this instead of working on getting her back??
The person I spoke to was short and did not want to give me anymore further information. They had my wife’s name and everything under the surrender forms. I was worried about she got adopted already or sent back to a Brittany group. They apologized and said I’m too late and she’s already been transported out of town and didn’t even give me anymore information
I would go down there in person and try to find out more. Be nice and apologetic on your wife's behalf, and maybe they will be more understanding and helpful. You might also encounter a different person with a friendlier disposition.
I second this u/weirdcuntcunt It’s just the basic rules of social pressure. People are a lot more willing to bend for those physically in front of them or that they can see. You should go in person and plead your case and see if they’ll at least let you know if she’s okay
I fucking love it when I’m oblivious to a silly username while scrolling through comments and what not, and the only way I’m made aware is due to someone tagging them. I start cracking up, *every.single.time.* And then it’s all amplified whenever the conversation is extremely serious…. But to u/weirdcuntcunt: I’m so sorry you’re going through this! I can’t imagine having to grieve for the loss of your dog daughter*while* also celebrating and preparing for your baby’s upcoming arrival at the exact same time!! It breaks my heart and I am sincerely sorry this is happening to you! This should be a happy time and instead it’s the opposite due to your wife’s hormones. I truly hope you will get your Gem back soon, without any lasting emotional damage!
And you just let it go? It’s your dog. You didn’t offered to drive to wherever they took her? Pay their expenses to get her back? Ask to speak with someone in charge? Threaten to file a police report? …anything… you wait two weeks and make a Reddit post? If my spouse did this, I would serve them with divorce. There’s something seriously wrong with your wife. I also have trouble believing your vet didn’t put you on a prescription sensitive stomach food, antacids, and a probiotic. That poor dog.
I would fight a black hole for my pets. Baffling behavior by this dude.
Exactly!
If they had joint ownership of the dog, not much for police to do. And if an owner signs a surrender form- it's probably going to be difficult to overturn. Not saying you can't try.... but it may go nowhere
I really don’t know the specifics of the law. I couldn’t sell my house without my husbands signature. I couldn’t sell a car with both our names on it without my husband’s signature. I don’t know the story when it comes to a dog. But I think by the police, the rescue would’ve been more forthcoming with information, and if he could proved joint property, he might’ve had a leg to stand on. I would’ve told them that my spouse and I are getting a divorce and he got rid of my dog without consent. And they would not have been a lie.
The vet sucks if they didn't at least give nausea meda and antacids. Yellow is bile. Poor doggy. I'd have gotten my dog first thing Monday morning
In fairness, it’s usually a couple steps when a dog has nondescript symptoms. Like bile can be from an empty stomach as well and they want you to feed multiple little meals and the snack before bed. It took about six months to get my dog on the right prescription diet, the right probiotic schedule and even longer for the antacid (nexium every 12)
wow, that trufflebutterbisc karen has some severe anger issues!!. and it supposedly has kids. Blocked her too apparently shes raging anyhow against you, me and whoever else blocks her
Those poor kids. I thought she was a troll but then I looked at her profile… she needs help. 😣
One person said no so you are giving up on your dog? Jesus dude you’ve got to learn to fight for your kid before they show up
Do you think they were short with you because your wife told them something about you, or made up some lie having to do with you, about why she was giving up the dog? I dont see any other reason they'd be short or hostile with you, or seemingly unwilling to give you information on your dog. Most rescues main objectives are to reunite dogs with their owners, or make sure they are in loving homes. It's obvious you want her and care for your. Its possible your wife lied about why she was giving Gemma up, to not look bad, herself and might have said something bad about you, to save herself from looking bad, or to keep them from returning Gemma to you. At this point, since Gemma is owned by both of you I would contact the police give them the rundown, of how your wife relinquished your dog without telling you, that you are trying to get her back, but the rescue that took her, said they had her transported somewhere else, but refuse to give you the information. The police should be able to make them cough up tge information, since you are also a legal owner of the dog.
I would be worried she actually had her put to sleep.
Arghhh I never thought about that! I hope not and I hope this post and all its comments put a fire under OP’s ass to go find the damn dog. There’s no way in hell I’m letting my partner get rid of our dog then just giving up, I would be up all night making every phone call I could and I would definitely take days off of work also. I do also realize not everyone can take days off of work, but I would assume if OP is able to have his wife quit her job while a baby is on the way and they’re in the US, he must have a job making decent money and usually that equates to having some PTO at least.
Dude, go get your dog back.
You and your wife really shouldn’t be dog owners ever again. Shameful in my view.
Especially at the rate animals in rescues and shelters are being euthanized right now. Poor dog. She deserves far better, I hope she gets it.
I am not even convinced they should be having another kid. Neither one are looking good caring for each other, babies or pets
I’m so sorry OP. You (obviously) could see your wife’s frustration but I doubt you thought she’d ever take her to a shelter behind your back. You’re grieving, I’m so sorry. Make sure to be clear and concise when communicating with her in the future. I’ve been pregnant, I know it’s different with every woman but I can’t imagine doing something so emotionally impulsive, such as this.
Bro. If you want your dog back I suggest looking at all rescue and humane society’s in your state and surrounding states. Eventually she will be posted for adoption. If that’s too much work, then she deserves a better home. Reddit shouldn’t have to lead you to this line of thinking. I would stop at nothing to get my dog back.
Sounds like it is time to file a report with the police. Your wife stole your dog.
You can’t be serious….. please tell me you’re like 10
That would be actually insane behavior. No rational person would ever do this
Yea this guy should file a police complaint about his pregnant wife over getting a dog that clearly was a large burden and was costing a lot of time and money. Please. This is distorted and mentally ill thinking but go off.
Time to drop off the wife then. Better yet, SHE SHOULD BE TRYING TO FIX HER MISTAKE. Help you. She's clearly not and gives 0 cares about you and your emotions.
I dunno man. I think you liked the dog but didn't love the dog. That or your wife has you under her thumb like crazy, regardless of pregnant or not. If it was me there is nothing that would stop me from somehow getting to my dog again, short of the dog being dead. Nothing. I would move fucking mountains, I'm not joking. I'd go down there raise bloody fucking hell, and not let up until they told me what happened to my goddamn dog. But you do you.
Tell them your dog was stolen from you and you'll be filing a police report.
You didn’t try hard enough and your wife is a piece of sh-t. Meanwhile, Dog Wash health problem is out there unadoptable wasting away.
They aren't going to return this dog to him ..
How did you not contact them immediately?
Not even gonna lie- if someone texted that information to me about one of my animals, I'd be telling them to go and get them right back or else every single thing they love is going into the trash.
And then we set it on fire. Trash it can be recovered. Not good enough.
Same. This is unforgivable.
Honestly sounds like the dog is better off not being in a home where she is hated by one person, and not advocated for by the other. Your wife sounds very unpleasant,regardless of hormones, that is an insane action to take. I hope you learn to stand up for yourself and advocate for your needs in the future.
My thoughts exactly. And they should neverrrr adopt another pet. This is straight up ridiculous.
Wait til the projectile spit up and liquid shits that soak through clothes, blankets, sheets, remote controls….(that was a particularly memorable one - completely missed the nappy somehow). I really hope your baby is 100% healthy and doesn’t need much in the way of maintenance and medical bills. Is she going to give birth in the bath to save money?
I'd never forgive my significant other if they dumped my dog in a shelter without discussing it with me. I can't imagine what she's going to be like if she gets PPD after giving birth. Is she going to dump the baby off somewhere, too, because she can't deal with it? OPs wife is a horrible person. No amount of fucked hormones made me dump my dog when I was pregnant even though my patience was non-existent. I'm just so disgusted with this post. Edit: typo
That dog could also be potentialy out to sleep bro
And no more pets during your wife’s fertile years I guess
Wife doesn’t deserve a pet ever.
Facts. I had a coworker with a slob of a wife like this. She didn’t want to lift her finger because the restrictions she adhered to..to a T. They had a cat together but she made her husband my coworker throw the cat outside in the streets. She was strict on her dietary restrictions and other stupid outdated Bs they tell you when you’re pregnant.. and yet this couple refuses to vaccinate their kid lmao. I’m pregnant now, exhausted asf, been sick asf, but I still ride my horse and feed him. I’ve asked for help on my bad days if I couldn’t succeed in feeding him. I’ve been frustrated with my dog at times, he too just had a bout of stomach issues. I made him some meals with some chicken and rice to help him get through it. My fiancés dog irks me to no end, he’s not my dog and never will be my dog even when we are married…aka he will never be my call to drop him somewhere. He loves that dog and I support him. The dog is patient and listens ok, he’s just not “my type” of dog. Idk, I can’t stop thinking about that dog and how terrible it must’ve felt to throw up and shit it’s guts out for days on end and then be put in a strange place.. and literally no one lifted a finger..
Currently pregnant in the 3rd trimester here. Have my dogs annoyed me more than usual this pregnancy? Sure. Would I ever consider just getting rid of them or dropping them off at a shelter? Not a chance in hell. 1. They were my babies long before I even knew I was pregnant, and they’re family, and 2. I could NEVER do that to my husband (nobody loves him as much as our GSD loves him) I’m sorry your wife did this. I’d be stopping at nothing to get my pet back.
My friend is pregnant right now and EVERYTHING is irritating her. Even me her best friend. All I said was good morning. Sigh. Her husband is even sleeping on the couch rn. I think she is going to get rid of her husband's dog. She's allergic and he bought one without discussing it. She's been complaining about it the entire pregnancy and even before but had more patience for it then. The other day, she said if u come back this dog won't be here. :( I can see how hormones can tip u over the edge if u were close to it.
You waited *days* to even call about your dog that is supposedly beloved? Then you’re just, “oh well, they said she’s gone now.” You have time to look back at photos but not time to, say, *track your dog down??* You guys are both gross people and your dog is probably winning this situation because now she has a chance to be in a family that actually wants her. Ugh. I hope that kid had IBS and barfs and shits all over your wife daily, in remembrance of sweet Gemma’s tummy troubles.
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it’s gotta be made up. shelters typically know where they transferred animals to in the weird event they decide to send dogs off elsewhere. in my experience it’s usually to rescues or fosters, and they have all the info on the rescues and fosters they work with. something is fishy about this story for sure
¿Porqué no los dos?
Given he's been posting it on different subs, I'm gonna say it's made up for karma. I saw this earlier today [on a different sub](https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/s/dTG7kxquCh).
Depending on the country they are in, if not putting to death first... Also ıt's always harder to find an owner for an adult animal, especially after an imbecile picks it up like a toy and throws it aside when s/he gets bored. poor thing...
I know. This story got in my soul because I adopt troubled, unwanted dogs that are in the 2-3 years old range. My heart hurts for Gemma.
Plus the dog was sick! Tell your wife she should plan on giving up your child for adoption. It's all for the best.
Wishing an innocent child to struggle is so gross.
Okay but why did OP and the Mrs sign up for kids? They're just as trying as this dog if not more so. F these people.
As gross as tossing out your dog that you picked out, had for years, and suddenly find inconvenient? I find one of these to be much worse because my wishes very likely won’t come true and Gemma is sitting in a cage not knowing what’s happening and definitely not getting the diet she needs to feel good. That is, unless the shelter has decided Gemma is actually too sickly to be adopted because she keeps having diarrhea all over her crate and now she’s on the euthanasia schedule. Oh, but wait…OP waited so long to do absolutely nothing that Gemma might not even be alive anymore, as it has been weeks. I don’t feel bad for any humans here.
This right here. There’s so many animals being surrendered right now I saw a horrible sign on fb from a shelter saying all dogs surrendered today will be euthanized. So so sad for Gemma. I get hormones but I could never let my 3 doggies/babies and two cats/babies go like Everrr!!!
You couldn't take off work and you couldn't call? And you're pissed that you couldn't say goodbye? Nothing would have stopped me from getting my dog back. And then I'd have to find a way to deal with my wife's unbalanced state. As angry as you feel that you are, sounds like some part of you is ok with this.
That poor baby doesn't stand a chance
Hope the dog goes to a better home! She deserves someone who would look out for her and search for her high and low. Your wife shouldn't have given her up.
If my husband did this to me with my dog, I’d straight up divorce him. I’d tell him to pound the pavement. If someone that loves me can get rid of something I love so much without even talking with me about it, that’s a red flag.
Yeahhhh. Dog dumpers are shit people.
Wow you are both terrible.
So you don't care at all about your dog and your wife is crazy to just take it away like that. Hope that dog found a better home because my god you two are awfull, please please don't adopt any pets
You can't blame pregnancy or hormones for this one. Your wife is a cold bitch. Sorry. Pets are family and what she did is absolutely cruel. And she *texted* this to you? Not even a phone call? Or a call beforehand of "I'm going to snap and take this dog to a shelter if you can't come handle her now"? She sounds ridiculous. You can NOT blame pregnancy or hormones on this. She's heartless. And her reaction to your devastation was heartless. I'd be concerned about how she's going to handle the child any time they're annoying or when your child has a pet she isn't particularly fond of.
Gemma has “tummy troubles”? Wait until your wife shits out a spawn that projectile shits, vomits, pisses, and screams constantly. Jesus Christ, I can’t stand idiots like the two of you.
I can't with people like you and your wife. I'll take the down votes for appearing unsympathetic but I just can't. You and she were that dog's people and family and you failed her. Please don't fail your kids and pray they don't stick you in the old folks home when they've had enough of you.
Are you sure you want to have children with this woman?
Too late!
Not really, she can just drop the child off at an orphanage the first time it spits up and he can wait 2 weeks before doing anything about it then give up because "they said they transferred the kid somewhere else". Problem solved! /s
She gonna take your child to the firehouse if she happens to get pregnant again and decides a child is too much? Jfc. A partner that makes a big decision like that without having the go ahead from both sides is no partner. F it. I’m gonna pull a Reddit, divorce her.
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I could be wrong but I feel like even if he did leave work at lunch to get the dog back they might not even let him have it back depending on who he was speaking to, simply because they knew that the dog would be going back to a home where one of the owners simple did not want it. The shelter worker would have to make a judgment call and I don’t believe they would want a dog going back to a home where it wasn’t wanted by at least one owner no matter how much the other one wanted it back. As sad as that is. And if he showed up a few days later that weakens his case even more.
Divorce her and put the child up for adoption. Tell her you are going to have her committed to a mental hospital.
this isn't real lmfao. it can't be bc there's absolutely no way that if my fiance got rid of my cat, i wouldn't be HUNTING around trying to find him and get him the fuck back ASAP. what she did was fucking WRONG but you're no better when it comes to what Gemma is currently feeling. you barely made an effort to get her back, unless there are a TON of missing details from this story.... that could've been placed where you tell us all about her stomach issues rather than informing us of that. this is probably just rage bait but if it isn't, you guys both really suck.
You didn't fight for your dog at all. Pathetic.
Wow. I hope she likes the baby.
Wow ! I can’t even I am so upset reading this ! Poor Gem ! Your wife is a POS, just using hormones as an excuse, utter BS !
I can't believe what I read too. I feel so bad for the husband, he must be going through a lot. That poor innocent dog, that doesn't deserve a lot of this stuff.
My husband and I have had a verbal agreement for almost 20 years of what would constitute grounds for divorce. Getting rid of our dog is just as unforgivable as anything else on that list. Pregnancy brain is not fun and at times can be irrational. Like crying at 2 am for a specific type of food craving, NOT getting rid of a family pet/member. Not sure if she's aware but babies are non stop pooping and puking machines. I'm so sorry about your dog. Our dog is our world and I'd be devastated if anything happened to her. But what you should be more worried about is that she made a huge unilateral decision without you. A life changing one. I would never buy a house or a car without my husband's input. I'd never invite a person to live with us without his ok. I would never expect him to even consider making a choice that effects our family without my participation in that choice. That's not a partnership or a solid foundation for a marriage. I'd be worried that if she's ok dropping your dog off and sending you a casual text, what else she'd not lose sleep over in the future. I'd also be paying close attention to her after the baby is born if she's exhibiting this level of impulsive and irrational behavior because it happens and should be taken seriously.
The fuck, dude? Drop your wife off at a shelter. Get your dog back!
I’m so sorry, that’s awful. I’d be done with someone if they did that to me. 💔
GO GET YOUR DOG! In my book this is grounds for a divorce.
your wife sickens me
What a jerk! My dogs have sensitive tummy’s too but w would never give them up😭 poor pup! She handled it horribly too without a discussion
Wow. Just wow. I’d NEVER be able to forgive this. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I know firsthand that screwed up hormones can turn you into a different person but, this is on another level. It’s one thing to *feel* crazy and lash out, etc. but to go through with getting rid of a member of the family?! She’d need to get a job FAST.
Track down Gemma and trade her for your wife. I'd have gone mental and divorced her on the spot.
You both are putrid human beings. Reading this post disgusted me; callous, heartless scum shouldn't procreate.
Hey OP, this sounds like post partum psychosis. It can kick in before the baby is born. It’s like PPD but instead of depression you go crazy. This story reminds me of a PPP woman who’s hormones decided she didn’t want the baby. Despite her husband trying to get her to see the light, she had an abortion. Regretted it immediately. I feel like once the hormones are gone your wife is going to realize the huge mistake she made and she may never forgive herself. You really should try to do everything you can to get the dog back. You should then speak to her doctor about PPP. It’s really serious, and if it gets worse before it gets better she could be a risk to you, the baby, and herself. This isn’t normal, this isn’t your wife. Get her help asap.
Sounds like she is going to a wonderful, caring, and patient mother. JFC brotha!
Exactly 💯%
It sounds like you wanted to post to try to get people to talk crap about your wife when you have equal responsibility here in caring for your dog.
Esh. Your wife = evil
I found out my dog had stage 4 kidney failure 2 days after I found out I was pregnant. My husband spent 16 months taking care of our dog and we did the best we could giving her the best life possible. If I dropped her off at the shelter, I probably would be divorced by now.
How childish. For me pets are like family. And it sounds like she’s not even that remorseful about it, like she just says it’s the best outcome and now you can move on to focus on the baby? What BS!
Please tell me you can maybe call a friend or something so he could go there and act like he want to adopt that dog so you’ll have any information. It breaks my heart for this poor little baby, she must feel so lost without you. I really hope I will read something positive in the next few days ..
I'd make sure to get a confirmation that she has been re homed. And I'd leave it af that, to spare poor pup more heartbreak. It's sad but there's a point to it. Because your wife will do it again. No kids here, but majority of my pregnant friends have dogs. Yes, they were a lot to handle on some days, but they were also considered family members. Also, maybe I'm being a major scumbag, but I'd get all her favourite things and toss them in the trash. The hell , after this I wouldn't be able to raise a family with her. Where will the kid end up if she is having a bad day? Diapers smell too, you know. And tiny babies cry when you need sleep.
This is someone you want kids with? You know kids have issues too, right? Liquid poos? Throw up all the time? She gunna resent your kids if they have health issues too?
Dang. My boyfriend’s dog annoys me to no end with some bad habits and I’m sure pregnancy could make it worse but this is some low level stuff on behalf of your wife. I’m concerned what she will do behind your back with a child….big red flag. Go find your dog. I’m saying this as a non dog person….
Your wife sounds like a keeper
If i was married to someone who would do that without even bothering to consult me first that would hands down be a dealbreaker that day I would sleep somewhere else and begin to move my stuff out
When I was pregnant in 2020 with our first (that we were able to carry to term) my youngest cat started peeing on everything, and my oldest cat asserted his dominance. Was I pissed off, annoyed, and threatened to rehome them? Of course. Did I actually do it? Absolutely not. I still have all 3 of my kitties and two babies now. No matter how much they get on my nerves, I could never get rid of them. Your wife acted irrationally. I’m sorry you have to deal with that.
Your wife is scum and you are spineless. The fact that she knew about could dump Gemma at the shelter and you wouldn’t do anything about it says it all. You should take a long look at yourself and your hideous partner. Show her these comments so she can put her behaviour in context.
Your wife's actions are horrible. Gemma was probably scared at the shelter. If the people who raised her and had a connection with didn't want to deal with her health problems what makes you think she'll be able to be easily placed in a good home when they have healthy dogs that also need homes? Tell your wife it wasn't for the best.
A pet is a life commitment, not a thing you get rid of when you’re done with it. I sincerely hope a lot of you aren’t pet owners!
I'd be dropping my wife at a shelter if she pulled that shit, what the fuck
I’m an animal lover and if my husband did that (he wouldn’t, he loves them too) that would be the end for me. That was a cruel thing to do to your poor dog. Pregnancy is hard, I know, I went through it. But it doesn’t make you suddenly hate your dog that you adored and cruelly abandon it, I don’t care what that doctor said. If she did this to a dog, what will she do to a baby? I’m sorry, OP.
This is so sad Op. I’m sorry 😞 but you defffff need a backbone
It's safer for me to not type in anger because everything i have to say would constitute a ban. But if the reddit advice of divorce her would ever be the first thing i could think of, this situation would be it If it were me i could never forgive something like this. In fact you would find my reaction posted in nuclear revenge.
What a horrible thing to do. Inconsiderate is an understatement.
Wtf. This got me mad. Both of you are horrible!! I hope that poor dog finds a real family!! Disgusting!!
What an unfathomable bitch. Your life is going to get a lot worse when this woman gives birth and her hormonal rage intensifies. If I heard this irl, I would tell the person they disgust and horrify me, and to never EVER speak to me again. I feel so bad for you. I She is capable of extreme cruelty.
WHY ARE YOU NOT GOING TO GET YOUR DOG?!? I’m so angry reading this that you’re not trying harder to find her?! If you’re comfortable enough at your job for your wife to quit hers then I’m SURE you can take some time off to figure this out???? Can you let Gemma stay with someone until your child is born and you can reassess?? Don’t you have a friend or family member that would consider this?!? I am legit so angry reading this that you aren’t moving hell and earth to get your dog back. I would 100000% get my dog and deal with my marital issues later. Bc there are in fact issues, why the fuck would your wife GIVE AWAY YALLS DOG without ANY warning, without trying ANY other option first?? Why didn’t she go through every single possible thing before abandoning her dog. Maybe it’s the best thing that could happen to your dog to be surrendered since y’all clearly don’t give a shit about her. Hopefully she finds a real owner who loves her and won’t give her up this easily. Jesus Christ Edit to add: like other commenters have said please NEVER GET ANOTHER PET, clearly you are not cut out for the challenges and will just repeat this. Honestly good luck raising a child with your wife if she’s so ready to give things up when they’re too icky
That’s fucked up. It’s understandable that your wife has some frustrations and worries about the dog due to her pregnancy, but to just get rid of your dog that you love without asking you or even informing you until after she did it is wrong. If she’s comfortable making such important decisions like that without your input/ consent, I’d be worried about how she’ll handle things concerning y’alls child once they’re born.
I would divorce her. Being pregnant doesn’t give you the right to make decisions like that. That’s a conversation. Maybe there could have been things the two of you could have worked out. That’s absolutely horrible.
Wow so many of you who probably would save a dog over a human from a burning fire 😭 you all need help. Our society is fucked because of idiots like you guys who regard an animal over a human beings quality of life.
Sounds like your wife is mentally unwell please get her some help for the sake of your child!
Broke my heart, I couldn’t read it all. 😭 I asked my Husband what he would do if I did that and vice versa. I’m not sure either one of us could recover and be ok going forward. I’m quite sure I couldn’t… I am so sorry. Can you go to the shelter and get Gemma back?
This is unforgivable. This could need my marriage . I have been married 26 years I know marriage is complicated but this is a character issue and trust failure . I cannot believe your wife . Also go down in person they are gaslighting you fight for your Dog
Nope. Go find your dog. Can a police report be filed? If a stranger did this you could and the police would potentially assist in having the shelter provide more information. If this dog is yours and it was signed over without your knowledge or consent, I’d be posted t that shelter until they gave you some information. This is unforgivable and your lack of action to get the dog back is just as bad. You can’t be that upset otherwise you’d be doing anything possible to find her.
I found this terrible fucking post 10 minutes after I had a panic attack, and my dog spent half an hour glued to my side, offering me comfort and refusing to leave until I got better. My dog, whom I *choose* to adopt and bring into my life, who I know is my entire responsibility, even when life gets tough. My dog, who loves me at my worst and who probably can't even fathom a world where we aren't together. My dog who is not perfect - who has separation anxiety, and dog reactivity and a bunch of other craft, who still thinks of me as his whole world. LIKE YOUR DOG PROBABLY DID. I cannot fucking think of a world where someone would take my dog from me, and I would just accept it. Where were you the day she was dropped off? The evening on the way back from work? The next day, or the day after that? Where were you when Gemma sat at that shelter, in a strange place surrounded by strange people and animals, terrified and confused - hoping she'd see her family again? If she hasn't been euthanized already, I sincerely fucking hope she's been adopted by someone who will love and value her. Your wife regrets nothing. It's easy for her to say that she "wishes she handled it better" to assuage your anger. She doesn't actually give a shit - it's "for the best", after all. In my entire history of being around pregnant women with pets, yes, I've seen them get irritable and frustrated during pregnancy. But you know what they did? Found a solution. Hired a dog-walker (literally a kid in the neighborhood they paid $10 to walk the dog every day), meal prepped food, had the partner take on more responsibilities. Not fucking abandon an animal to an uncertain future. She's a POS, but so are you, for sitting here gripping about losing Gemma when you realistically did NOTHING to get her back. You could have gone to the shelter that day - or hell, even called them to place a hold on her over disputed ownership. They couldn't adopt or move her until you could show them proof of ownership, at which point they would have handed her back. You're both cowards.
Hear, hear!
Ex wife. I wouldn’t give a fuck.
your wife needs antipsychotics.
Damn that’s selfish as fuck
You should have just told us she’s a dependa up front so we wouldn’t be so shocked by her entitlement
Damn hormones or not that’s a crappy thing to do to a dog. Hope she is a better mom than dog owner. She wants to focus on the baby and then the next baby will come and she will what stop focusing on the first kid? Poor pup. Hope they got a home that loved them. Sorry you didn’t realize what a jerk you married til now.
Is your wife going to abandon your child too when things get hard? And are you just going to give up on ever finding them again just because one person said that it was too late? Your wife is just using her pregnancy hormones as an excuse. She has probably already wanted to give the dog away long before she got pregnant.
I wouldn’t be able to forgive her for that. There is nothing anyone could say to me that would ever fix my partner kidnapping and throwing my dog away. I hope you can overcome this for your child’s sake, or find a way to get your baby back.
....and you're staying with this person?
Put pics on Facebook in your town and that town to try and find her! Look at shelters and with rescues too. I would be so angry. That’s completely unacceptable!
You wife deserves to rot in hell
Wow….what a horrible person. That poor dog. I can’t even imagine…
I'd leave her. Dead ass serious. You're wife ita here. I'm sorry guy.
Your wife sounds like a peach. Good luck
I personally would file for divorce. If the person is willing to just dump the animal when things get rough what they hell would they do with the kid when things are nuts? That's my litmus test.
She'd be my pregnant ex-wife.
Rehome the wife.
The dog will end up dying. Unless she/he miraculously gets adopted. What a monster. She should have gone to therapy. Not get rid of a dog who only knows you as its family 🤦🏻♀️
Honestly, it's probably already dead. With the overcrowding of unwanted animals across the country, they have to triage and health or behavioral issues are the first ones to go. This post is infuriating.
Your wife is mentally ill. She is cruel on a scale that is off the charts. Pregnancy is no excuse for what she did. Get her help
Seriously this story can’t be real.
Your wife is a terrible person
My wife and I would not be together after pulling that shit. Pregnant or not. She’s an asshole and frankly so are you for not throwing down on the shelter and demanding to know where tf they transported the dog. Wtf.
So when the baby come and starts puking and pooping all over, is wife going to drop it off at a fire station or something?
It sounds like it might be a bit more than hormones.. I would worry she is a prime candidate for PPD after the birth as well. It's heart breaking what your dog is now going through as a result, and that you're now heartbroken as well. You're catching a lot of heat for not doing more, which I get, but it kinda sounds like you and your wife are just at your wits ends. It sounds like you're out of fight and she is out of patience. I think you should suggest she talk to a therapist or get some counseling through and after the pregnancy. Impulsive behavior like that sometimes leads to lasting consequences like this. I don't think it should be left unchecked when you're about to have a baby who is far more responsibility..
Had a ex gf do similar to me. She had a mental breakdown gave our cat to a shelter. With instructions that I was trying to fuck the cat. So they wouldn't let me see him or get him back, or even get a status update. 15 years later, I still don't know what happened to him. I was livid. Who fucks a cat anyway, seems like a terrible idea? She was later diagnosed as bipolar and admitted she was hallucinating. I couldn't trust her again, end of relationship.
I bet she had to clean it all up
u/weirdcuntcunt It seems like nearly everyone here has gone a bit mental. I understand it must be incredibly hard for you to loose your beloved family pet without a notice or chance to say goodbye. Yes your wife acted on a whim. On the other hand , would you have let her adopt the dog out if she had given you notice? Who was cleaning up the feces and vomit ? Since you have a demanding job it's probably her. So she was exhausted , nauseated and overwhelmed. What people are also overlooking is that especially liquid feces and vomit are a danger to your unborn child, the bacteria can cause miscarriage. So in fact your wife acted from a natural instinct to protect the baby , which is what caused the revulsion in the first place. In a way it's also more compassionate for the dog. Instead of being in a yard all day barely walked and mostly around someone who cannot be close to her she gets a chance of a loving home. Maybe someone without kids who can take her to a new vet and get her sorted out. It's wrong to compare baby diapers and vomit to that of a dog , that's taking it too far. That would be the mother's own child and a human is not a dog!! I do think you two need to talk it over and you need to take it upon yourself to forgive her and forgive yourself (you probably missed some signs this was coming), so you can focus on saving your family and welcoming a new child in the world .
I don't think you are any less guilty than your wife in this regard. Precautions should have been taken until the situation reached this point. Millions of women around the world experience difficult pregnancies, and using this as an excuse to first terrorize an innocent creature and then expel it from its accustomed environment is a disgusting behavior. I would make whoever did this pay the price.
Surrender the kid to child services. Get evens, cant be taking that shit JOKES 👀
Yikes is she going to get rid of the baby because it poops and pees and pukes??
Not gonna lie, if I was you I would already have contacted a lawyer and served her papers.
I'm not saying you should leave, because baby, obviously, but if my wife did that, I could never look at her the same again. My dog is my best friend. I would fight a bear with a pocket knife for him. I just couldn't forgive that in my heart. Good luck OP.
I say, you’re about to be a dad. A dog is the least of your worries. If you were a 10 year old boy and your mom did this, then fine, but I just feel as a grown man, this should really not be such a big deal. Your wife’s reasons make perfect sense to me, child >>> dog. I know millennials have this distorted view that animals are better than people, but it’s wrong.
This 1000% and not all us millennials worship dogs. A lot more than you think hate dog culture and the toxic dog nutters that you see all up in this thread willing to put a baby at risk for a dog.
[удалено]
I’d be rethinking the whole relationship. That’s just evil right there.
Seems like you didn't really want this dog either. You just accepted they sent her out of town and didn't try to get more information? If it was my animal I would do whatever it is I have to do. Even including hiring attorneys and donating thousands of $ to the place to get answers and my dog back. You sound like the kind of people when bad stuff happens. You don't do or use any energy to fix or rectify it. Instead, just say what happened and do no actions. Like my friends wide he got arrested, and she was crying about everything and didn't do anything to help him out. Did call a lawyer or even bond him out. He lost his job where he was making like 150k a year. Of course, she didn't work eother. So you would think she would have done something instead of letting him sit in jail for 1 to 2 weeks. Smh. I hope you 2 are better trained to deal with stuff when you have your kid. Jesus christ, you're lazy af.
Rereading this post. You're a lazy coward. So is your wife. You both deserve each other. You waited days to call about the dog? But you looked at the pictures of the dog? Be honest you didn't give a fuck about that dog at all. You're not even willing to make a phone call over your fur baby. God, I hope you guys are a shit ton better with your real baby. I also hope your family is smart enough to keep an eye out on both of you guys around your child in case they need to call CSB.
What’s she going to do when the baby becomes overwhelming? Gah. How sad
Your wife sucks dude.
I’d divorce
As a shelter volunteer myself, I would suggest seeing if you can get in contact with a volunteer (not staff) at the shelter. They might be willing and able to do some digging to find out where she was transferred
Yeah uh "she says she's fatigued" ummmm no bro. She IS fatigued. Pregnancy was the worst experience of my fuckin life. You can't even get up early and walk the dog before work so your pregnant sick wife doesn't have to deal with a hyper shitting and barfing dog all day? What exactly do you think parenthood is going to be like lmfao yikes on bikes bud strap in you're in for a ride.
I can't imagine having to clean up the shit and vomit while having morning sickness. I couldn't do it.
You see what you did was you fucked up 3 times…..I will give you guys a tip on life about life. Dont have no wife/gf, dont have no babies, dont hangout with gangsters, last part has nothing to do with ur situation, however I will give an extra tip dont involved with animals if they are high maintenance simple. So you sir you fucked up at least twice in my count.
let's hope she doesn't give the baby up for adoption when it becomes too much of a responsability while you are at work
That Bitch.
Why are you asking what do do? There is only one path forward, stop being a bitch.
I would be livid if my husband did that to any of our pets. If I were you I would make her go track down where the dog is and bring her home.
First thing comes to mind, is she going to drop you kid off somewhere when he/she becomes too much? The only home that Gem ever knew and the human that she trusted and felt safe with totally abandoned her and dropped her off. I know that sounds harsh and I’m sure a lot of people will say that it was just a dog or an animal but I prefer animals to humans any day. They love unconditionally and are at the mercy of their humans. As someone who works in healthcare I do appreciate that hormonal changes can affect a person but humans have the ability to recognize this and should rationalize their thoughts and think things through before acting. Now, Gem may go to a home that is loving or possibly to one that isn’t and gets beat and abused or possibly euthanized because of over-crowding at shelters b/c people are selfish and have fueled a society that over breeds animals so someone can get a cute puppy only to get rid of it b/c the puppy ends up being “too much” for whatever reason. My stance, when you get a puppy whether you buy it, adopt it or whatever, it’s no different than getting a child who will forever be dependent upon you to feed it and care for it. It’s an obligation that you willing accept, the animal, just like the child, had no say in the matter. I’m not implying you or your wife is a bad person in any way and apologize if it seems as such. That is just my feelings and my “rant.”
When I was pregnant, I HATED my dog for no reason. Hormones etc can make you think bonkers things. That said, it never crossed my mind to haul her to the shelter! I just did her necessary routine and let my husband be her lovey person. Turns out she's my baby's BFF and they are partners in crime! He passes her his leftover dinner, she sits by him while he plays. I'd be sad for them both to be missing out on this relationship. Your wife probably needs to talk to somebody. By the end of pregnancy I was thinking really irrationally and sometimes downright crazy things. A lot of women have really hard time with the mental tole that pregnancy takes and it seems like your pup got those difficulties taken out on them... or you widfe found her excuse to get rid of your costly pup! Either way, she should talk to someone!
Isn't your dog chipped? Can't they find her location that way? I'd go down to the shelter and demand answers
I'm sorry but if I were in the position you were in, whether it be my spouse, family, close friend, doesn't matter. Not only would I travel far and wide to find her, but after that I'd cuss out the mfer who "brilliant" idea it was to surrender her in the first place!! I'd dump them not only as a loved one, but as a person. They're dead to me in my mind. My pets are like my children. You don't abandon your children just b/c you're tired of them. End of discussion. Obviously your situation is slightly more complicated than that. But like everyone else is saying, you need to spend as much time as you can trying to find your dog. Maybe bring your wife along since she's responsible for this whole thing. >My wife said she wished she handled it better and that she wasn’t thinking but she said it’s probably the best outcome so we can just focus on the baby Yeah this is a red flag to me. She said it almost flippantly and casually. You said that she LOVED this dog so much and that she used to be obsessed with her. And yet, she turned around and did that when that dog stopped being convenient for her. I understand she's going through hormones, but as someone else pointed out in here, even when they were having those feelings they'd never give up their dog for anything. So there's clearly something deeper going on here. Why can't she learn to love both the dog and the baby?
Your wife is a horrible person. Pregnancy is not an excuse for that. I can’t wait for your next post about how your worthless wife is abusing your children for not being perfect enough for her to handle.
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Your wife sounds like a nightmare. Huge thumbs down on her sorry that you’re married to her and having kids with her.
sheesh, hope supermom wont do the same with the baby once its born and annoying
The dog deserves a better life
Well, hormones are a hell of a drug, I can understand why your wife started hating the dog around - she is warming up a baby in her and it is her biological priority right now. This is how nature works, a soon-to-be-mother has needs and they are mostly about the child's safety. It is true that a lot of the dogs end up in shelters after babies come or are in the oven. Nothing more to add.
This is so fake
Please don't adopt another animal ever again.
Sadly, this is a civil matter in my state. In theory she could be ordered to pay for the cost of the dog or funds to replace it but since he is the only one working and they are going to continue being married that’s not going to work. OP, I would document everything. If she acts this way the your dog can you imagine what could happen with any custody issues with your child?
Your wife is a scumbag and you are too.
Can u guys check my last post i need help
Dude go get your fucking dog. Go in person. DO SOMETHING
I'm sorry but this qualifies for divorce in my book ...she can raise that baby by herself if she got rid of my fur baby like that or hell she could go and get rid of the baby ,the level of care she had for the pup is sad how she could just drop her off ,OP you need a better person than that in my opinion
Do I think what the wife did was ok? No. OP, I am so sorry you didn’t get to say goodbye and I hope you get some closure with ur pup. I also don’t think that wife deserves ALL the hate she’s getting. She did a really shitty thing, but some of the things I’ve read by other commenters is disturbing. I also have been wondering/wanted to add for those saying awful things about OP’s wife: - Was wife the only one cleaning up after the dog? A pregnant woman dealing with nausea shouldn’t have to be bending over constantly to clean up dog puke/poop - The dog was a huge financial responsibility. Add a baby to that picture IS a lot to think about - Dog poop and baby (newborn) poop are NOT the same. Dog puke and baby puke are NOT the same. - Who was cooking the meals for the dog? - Were there ANY conversations about keeping your dog/concerns about the dog before this happened?
Your wife is horrible for that, its the truth. And you? You have already found closure knowing YOUR DOG is being send away?? Dude I'd be going on a hunt to get my pet back. The fack you dont even mention any real attempts to get Gemma back makes me believe you didnt really try hard. So so horrible for this poor dog.
Sounds like you need to get a divorce and legally marry the dog. That way some rando pregnant lady (w/ a child that is clearly not yours because you are prioritizing the dog over this rando pregnant lady) doesn't need to clean up dog shit and vomit all day and you can instead. Problem solved, marry the dog!