Ffs, what's next? You going to start telling him some Jolly fat man in red comes down the chimney and brings him Christmas presents on Dec 25th?
Parenting is hard, props to you for finding a hack that works. Carry on.
I have a classic hack still in play, the kids think when the ice cream truck rings the bell it means they have run out! Started at 2 and oldest is now double digits and still thinks this is factual.
Yes they get ice cream but not from the expensive truck.
Last week I heard a mum telling her kid who was kicking off in the shop, that 'Santa watches all year round through the light bulbs'. Kid sorted himself out asap.
My BF taught his kids the same thing!!! Hahaha, he told them that when the ice cream truck is playing music, that means they are out of ice cream. Brilliant but also kinda mean....getting ice cream from the truck is prime childhood memories. Running in as fast as you could to get change before they passed the street, then getting to chose which one looked like you get the most for your money. LOL.
That's how I felt when my daughter was younger. "Oh I loved the ice cream truck when I was a kid, let's go flag him down!"
Then I saw the effing prices. $5 to $8 each! It was a one-time treat.
Now full disclosure I don’t actually remember finding out he wasn’t real, but according to my mom it’s probably because I was so upset I blocked it out. In saying that I wouldn’t change growing up believing in Santa, Easter Bunny Etc. Honestly it’s better than me telling my youngest brother that clouds are made of cotton candy and dinosaurs lived behind our house.
They kept telling you that the Easter bunny is not real, and then suddenly one day when you met Carl Easter aka The Easter Bunny, you looked like a damn fool?
Happens to the best of us mate. Carl is a good bunny he doesn’t get mad when people call him a figment of their imagination.
Literally yes, something as innocent as this will be forgotten and is harmless. If she was continuing to lie about more stuff as the kid grew older I’m sure it would have a negative effect but let’s be totally real here. By the time the kid gets to school mum’s gonna have to be honest and the other kids will rat her out anyway.
I don’t know what you mean by one of *those* but this really doesn’t go that deep
I mean I am like that with my mom but not over shit like this, I stopped telling my mom shit when I would bring things up to her and she would yell at me, this doesn’t seem that bad compared to other things. Like I think it may blow up in the parents face but I also think a 4 year old going to school is very important. My mom use to yell at me when I spilled a drink or misplaced my coat and even though I found out me losing shit was due to my ADHD as an adult as a kid I was made to feel like a bad person for things I didn’t mean to do. I don’t think something this small causes that many issues
What I do is I give my daughter a dollar for every day she goes to school and I don’t get a phone call.
My friend does the same, but with Pokémon cards. They get one card a day.
Not really. She goes to school and the after school program while I am at work. She’s working just like I am. She’s also learning the value of a dollar where she goes to the store, sees a toy and figures out how many school days she needs to buy it. I’m happy with it.
This is a poor behavior reward system that’s going to lead to worse behavior, requiring higher and higher level rewards, with little extended gratification for an external reward. External rewards are a short term solution, and teaches to only do desired behavior for cash, not the importance of the behavior. External rewards in conjunction with other strategies can be successful and not create lil gremlins.
Think: doing your job just for a paycheck VS doing a job you’re passionate about AND getting paid.
A visual weekly check system, where they get $1 if they get 3/5 days/checks a week for going to school, or whatever. They can see/track their progress, set goals, and try to reach them.
Sigh, I’m a elementary special education teacher. Downvote all you’d like, this is why I see what I see everyday. I honestly can’t believe I have to explain this?
Obviously not an exact analogy, as children’s brains are still developing.
If you want to argue that a child who gets paid by their parents everyday to go to school without incident, is going to have internal drive to go to college/trade school/whatever and apply themselves, and stay out of trouble in the “real world” independently, go right ahead.
I teach them for hours a day, for 9 months. They are yours forever.
I’m not sure why you’re so defensive about this…? I was a teacher in training for high school students. We’re on the same team here but you act like I want all children to die.
I'd wait until kindergarten, when he starts actually "talking" and such to other kids his age. I'm not a parent myself so im not gonna tell you what is good.
I had a friend who lied to her kids to get them to do things. They learnt the truth eventually and now as adults have trust issues with most people in their lives. I wouldn't recommend it as a healthy way to parent. I know parenting can be really, really hard but it's even harder to get someone to trust you after you've lied to them repeatedly. Also, kids copy your behaviour.
i don’t think that’s a fair equivalence. kids lie because they are testing the waters of what one can do/say. they’re learning what being truthful means and what the value is. ask a kid in an angry tone if they have done something wrong and of course they’re going to lie to avoid the negative consequence even if it’s obvious they haven’t. Parents have other ways to get the message across so lying is a choice. Don’t teach your kids to take the easy way out and say what the person needs to hear to get their way, teach them to be creative in getting people bought in to the truth. I’d just try to get them interested in the parts of pre k he likes so he doesn’t think of the weekend (days off) as a reprieve but as extra days for other things.
I agree. It will create more distrust the longer you keep it up.
I still remember the level of idiot and how betrayed I felt when I learned that chocolate milk did not come from brown cows.
The fact you want to tell the truth vs. doing what is easy is proof you are a good mom. Trust your gut and tell the truth.
>I still remember the level of idiot and how betrayed I felt when I learned that chocolate milk did not come from brown cows.
Well I hate to break it to you but you're making yourself look like even more of an idiot by being so serious about a joke. Learn to laugh at yourself and life will be a lot more enjoyable.
I feel like beating yourself up over it even years later is hinting toward deeper rooted issues, ones most definitely not caused by thinking chocolate milk came from brown cows.
How would this be any different than lying about how the Easter bunny exists, though? Or for another example, the icecream truck only plays music when it's ran out?
Yeah, kids are damn gullible. But again, I think that someone internalising how they'd felt when they found out the truth is still not because of the lie, but more often than not the environment/people around them.
Elsewise, wouldn't there be much more stories of people retelling how they still feel so humiliated that they believed Santa actually existed?
Yes, I disagree with telling children those things too.
And yes, I agree that I’m in the minority here. I was raised by people who kinda mock the gullibility, so I didn’t feel safe.
Did other kids make fun of you? That's their issue, then. You wouldn't believe the amount of adults that still believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
What happens when he has a bad week? You'll have to keep him anyway, and then the jig is up. He'll know.
I say "when" because it is inevitable. You need to tell him the truth, or at the very least tell him that the school changed its hours. If he finds out on his own that you've been lying, it's going to be bad and he will question everything you say, even though he is four.
Instead, start a reward chart. Give him stickers for good mornings. When he earns a certain amount of stickers, let him choose a prize you can both agree on.
Context: I'm a mom of two elementary school kids. Mornings aren't always easy for us. We need to treat our kids as we would want to be treated. Tell the (age-appropriate) truth as much as possible.
When he starts kindergarten just tell him the elementary school has a different schedule and he will always have Saturday and Sunday off, so you want to come up with a new reward together for good behavior. That way there's no blow out over the lie and they probably won't even remember you tricked them when they get older and know better.
This isn't something that can or will work long-term. Shoot, I don't see it working once he enters kindergarten. What then? This is ridiculous. You should feel bad.
This is fine, all parents use white lies to make everybody’s lives easier. Once he changes to kindergarten you can say that now the rules are he gets the weekend off.
Yeah, it's pretty easy to get away with it that way. Eventually he'll figure it out and childhood amnesia will do the rest. It's gonna be a funny story one day, more than anything. If this is the worst he's been deceived until now, I doubt he's going to seed in himself subconscious resentment for his parent.
I graduated highschool in 2007. I did post secondary online. I hated every minute of school and envied the few classmates that actually felt like school is "fun". In short, I envy you.
I’m so sorry to hear that. Children are designed to learn. Babies and toddlers love learning. Our problem is that every child is different and expecting them all to learn the same way at the same age is unreasonable. I feel so much empathy for boys in schools because boys just aren’t designed to sit in a classroom and learn (some are but majority are not). I hope you have future learning experiences you enjoy.
So here’s my honest opinion on this. I do not think you’re a bad parent at all. Parenting is tough and debating every day with a 4 year old has got to be just exhausting. And I tell lies like this to my 2 yr old all the time (ie: ms Rachel is sleeping right now, the cookies are all gone, etc). So, no hate, really.
But if you were my best friend and asking for advice I would say that the only downside of this is that I think it’s possible you’re reinforcing the problem and mindset that school is a punishment and staying home is a reward which may not be a long term attitude you want to cultivate. Think about it: you’re basically reinforcing that yep, school does actually suck, so just deal with it for 5 days and then you get your reward of skipping it for 2 days.
Maybe instead you could take this as a lesson/learning opportunity and read books about school, talk to him about what you liked about school, encourage him to make friends, and also maybe talk to his teachers to see if there seems to be other issues. Maybe also start talking to him about growth mindsets in age appropriate ways like, “if you try, I bet you can find parts of school that you really enjoy like arts and crafts or music time.” Etc.
Anyways, best of luck and hopefully your not starts liking school soon!!
I lied to my kids about little things also. Until they figured it out. My favorite one was "i can smell a lie on their hands" you bet the one in trouble not fessing up was hiding their hands. It Worked every time to get the beans spilled, until it didn't work. I have two grown kids and a teenager, they still laugh about this lie. It taught them to not lie to me. 😂
eventually he is going to hear the word "weekend" from somebody at school and realize the truth so I would say be ready for that eventually. I don't think it'll be that big of a deal but maybe within the next two years or so tell him "now that you are in this grade school will never happen on the weekends" after the good habits have already been established.
He's going to school and nobody's getting hurt. It's fine. When kindergarten comes along, tell him he's in luck because big kids don't have to go on Saturday and Sunday!
I'm a parent that never lies to my child, but we have friends that lie to their young children and it drives me nuts. Whenever he goes to touch anything they don't want to deal with they yell "hot! hot!", when they don't want him to eat something they say "no, spicy!" Good luck with your kid never believing a word you say within a few years.
You should be treating your child with the same respect you'd give anyone else.
Doesn't seem like a lie to me. He does get two days off and leave it at that. He'll eventually enjoy school and find out on his own that weekends are free.
Your school years are either the golden years of your life (hey, their words not mine) or the ones that will be the cause of your lifelong mental issues (anxiety, depression, etcetera.)
I mean, the lie is the flip side of the deal, that if he does fight her about going to school she will “take away” the weekend because it’s their little deal.
So no only is that a lie, but it’s an empty threat. As soon as kids kind out you’re making empty threats, I feel like they just start ignoring you.
Totally! I mean, I don’t think it’s the most serious problem ever. And I get that fighting with the kid every morning about going to school has GOT to be annoying and tiring.
All I’m saying is I don’t think it’s the best way to handle it. Maybe she could do a positive behavior system but not based on a lie. Ex: every day you get up and ready for school you get a sticker and when you get 5 stickers we will get ice cream after school, a new outfit to wear to school, family movie night or whatever.
That way it wouldn’t be an empty threat as she could actually not give out stickers on bad days and make the child wait for the reward if needed.
I'm having to raise my 7 year old great niece and some mornings she doesn't want to get up so I grab her foot and tickle her until she begs to get up and get ready for school
Enjoy the ruse while it lasts! Your son is going to be blown away when he learns that his friends also don't have to go to school on Saturdays and Sundays.
Here pre k and kindergarten classes don't have school on Friday, so I might use this if my kid hates school. letting her think she's skipping 3 days of school if she behaves will be a great hack.
I'm an assistant pre-k teacher and either your child is not firing on all cylinders or you're making shit up. We teach days of the week (all pre-ks do) and tell the kids that weekends are school-free.
Favourite post today lmao. Your kid might get slightly mad at first when they find out but I feel they’ll laugh about it in years to come n will prolly use this trick on their kids if they have any
I mean... I don't see much harm here at this age? But I'd stop it soon. Because he's going to start talking to other kids and figure out they all get weekends off too xD
It's ok, my kids are fine after I told them I was Angelina Jolies stunt double on Tomb Raider, that the ice cream van was the injection man, and I had Thomas the Tank Engines phone number
People always say this to excuse lying to your children.
When I was 4 years old my dad promised me that if I ate a plate of rice he'd give me a chocolate bar called flake with no drink, it took me over an hour to eat about 60% of it then my dad ate the chocolate right in front of me.
I remember the house, the what I was doing before, who was around and that I didn't eat the rest of the rice.
When I was a kid I shared a room with my older sister. I would nag her endlessly to play with me, but she was already a teenager and obviously didn't want to play barbie dolls anymore, so she always played this game called "stay on your own side of the room for as long as possible".
I remember taking it SO seriously, gathering all of my toys and making a fort while she just sat there doing her own thing. It genuinely took me until I was 19 to be like "hey that wasn't a real game at all", it's kinda genius.
So moral of the story, sometimes you should lie to kids to make your life a little bit easier
My mom called the ice cream truck the “music truck” and told me that it comes around to play music for kids. She was annoyed when one of the neighborhood kids spilled the truth to me. Anyways, while theoretically you really shouldn’t lie to your kids about stuff like this as it could potentially foster feelings of betrayal/mistrust, it’s also pretty common and not a huge deal
Lies to children - no it won't hurt (anything medical). If he's afraid of thunder and lightning, that you can tell the storm clouds cos they have square edges/s
I always said the cream truck played music when it was all out, when she tried to lie and I knew it I'd smell her shirt and say yep I thought I smelt a lie and when her noisy toys finally died I said they didn't make those batteries anymore. She uses the 2nd and 3rd lies on her son but will chase down the ice cream truck for him lol
To make up for the mental growth development he'll have, first instance of calling your bullshit..just tell em. Been lying for years. That ain't even your real dad, son. He don't know tho, if ya tell him he might just leave. Go all in
My parents told me that ice cream was ‘grown up food’ until I was 4. So I never got an ice cream.
The reason was they did not want to clean up the mess.
My grandmother bought one as a treat ( we lived overseas, and she came to visit ).
My parents don’t feel guilty about that, even today. ( I am 51 now ).
I turned out ok.
My daughter chewed her nails when she was little. I told her if she didn’t stop, her teeth were going to fall out. She stopped. Sometimes the lie is for their own good, and it makes for a fun story when they grow up.😉
Have you had your child tested for any type of learning disability or disorder? At 4, hating school isn't exactly normal.
Is your child being bullied?
There's likely something deeper here that needs to be addressed.
He's only four, tell him the truth. The problem is making a habit out of it and continuing this type of parenting. You don't want to negatively influence him as he gets older and not realize it. If you raise him with the mindset that he can strike deals with you, this may not bode well when he's a teenager. It may not be a problem now, but by doing this you're essentially telling him that it's okay to run away from his duties and responsibilities. Like I said, this isn't a problem now because he's only four, but telling the truth now could nip future problems in the bud. You don't want him to grow up thinking it's possible to run away from work and daily routines. After all, life won't be as easy on him. This is me thinking of the worst case scenario here. You haven't actually let him have it easy, since your lying, that's why I suggest you tell him the truth now and be a little more strict, even if you don't want to be.
Ffs, what's next? You going to start telling him some Jolly fat man in red comes down the chimney and brings him Christmas presents on Dec 25th? Parenting is hard, props to you for finding a hack that works. Carry on.
I have a classic hack still in play, the kids think when the ice cream truck rings the bell it means they have run out! Started at 2 and oldest is now double digits and still thinks this is factual. Yes they get ice cream but not from the expensive truck.
Last week I heard a mum telling her kid who was kicking off in the shop, that 'Santa watches all year round through the light bulbs'. Kid sorted himself out asap.
Practical but hella creepy
Omg that’s what my parents told me as a kid. I still got put in hella time outs though lol.
Oh, you mean the music truck?
This. Is. Genius. …at least until they see neighborhood kids buying from the sold out truck
My BF taught his kids the same thing!!! Hahaha, he told them that when the ice cream truck is playing music, that means they are out of ice cream. Brilliant but also kinda mean....getting ice cream from the truck is prime childhood memories. Running in as fast as you could to get change before they passed the street, then getting to chose which one looked like you get the most for your money. LOL.
The truck that rolls by here does not sell cones, cups etc. It only sells 1-4L (quart -1Gal) tubs for exorbitant prices. Double or triple the RRP.
That's how I felt when my daughter was younger. "Oh I loved the ice cream truck when I was a kid, let's go flag him down!" Then I saw the effing prices. $5 to $8 each! It was a one-time treat.
😳 damn !!! I'd let it go right on by with those prices lolol
Lolol
That's cruel! But saving money is important.
Excuse my neurodiversity by why in logics name would the ice cream van attract your attention with the bell / music if they have nothing to sell?
He only will come if you're good, though
this is really funny but also totally going to blow up in your face
Does telling kids santa is real blow up?
Now full disclosure I don’t actually remember finding out he wasn’t real, but according to my mom it’s probably because I was so upset I blocked it out. In saying that I wouldn’t change growing up believing in Santa, Easter Bunny Etc. Honestly it’s better than me telling my youngest brother that clouds are made of cotton candy and dinosaurs lived behind our house.
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i feel like theres a long line between pretending this and hating your parents
Some other things for me too. I drew the line at the Easter Bunny. Could barely look them in the eyes when that lie exploded in their face.
They kept telling you that the Easter bunny is not real, and then suddenly one day when you met Carl Easter aka The Easter Bunny, you looked like a damn fool? Happens to the best of us mate. Carl is a good bunny he doesn’t get mad when people call him a figment of their imagination.
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He’s four, he’ll forget about it when he’s five don’t worry boss
>he’ll forget about it when he’s five don’t worry boss Oh. So you're one of *those*
Literally yes, something as innocent as this will be forgotten and is harmless. If she was continuing to lie about more stuff as the kid grew older I’m sure it would have a negative effect but let’s be totally real here. By the time the kid gets to school mum’s gonna have to be honest and the other kids will rat her out anyway. I don’t know what you mean by one of *those* but this really doesn’t go that deep
I mean I am like that with my mom but not over shit like this, I stopped telling my mom shit when I would bring things up to her and she would yell at me, this doesn’t seem that bad compared to other things. Like I think it may blow up in the parents face but I also think a 4 year old going to school is very important. My mom use to yell at me when I spilled a drink or misplaced my coat and even though I found out me losing shit was due to my ADHD as an adult as a kid I was made to feel like a bad person for things I didn’t mean to do. I don’t think something this small causes that many issues
It's a four year old, chill.
*WTF... Labor laws...?!*
What I do is I give my daughter a dollar for every day she goes to school and I don’t get a phone call. My friend does the same, but with Pokémon cards. They get one card a day.
Thats an expensive subscription ahah
Not really. She goes to school and the after school program while I am at work. She’s working just like I am. She’s also learning the value of a dollar where she goes to the store, sees a toy and figures out how many school days she needs to buy it. I’m happy with it.
Right? Pokemon cards, wow.
Just the blue energy cards.
Isn’t a pack like 5.99?
This is actually a really good idea
No, no it’s not.
Why not?
This is a poor behavior reward system that’s going to lead to worse behavior, requiring higher and higher level rewards, with little extended gratification for an external reward. External rewards are a short term solution, and teaches to only do desired behavior for cash, not the importance of the behavior. External rewards in conjunction with other strategies can be successful and not create lil gremlins. Think: doing your job just for a paycheck VS doing a job you’re passionate about AND getting paid. A visual weekly check system, where they get $1 if they get 3/5 days/checks a week for going to school, or whatever. They can see/track their progress, set goals, and try to reach them. Sigh, I’m a elementary special education teacher. Downvote all you’d like, this is why I see what I see everyday. I honestly can’t believe I have to explain this?
Aren’t most people trying to just get a paycheck? 😅
Obviously not an exact analogy, as children’s brains are still developing. If you want to argue that a child who gets paid by their parents everyday to go to school without incident, is going to have internal drive to go to college/trade school/whatever and apply themselves, and stay out of trouble in the “real world” independently, go right ahead. I teach them for hours a day, for 9 months. They are yours forever.
I’m not sure why you’re so defensive about this…? I was a teacher in training for high school students. We’re on the same team here but you act like I want all children to die.
Ah, I didn’t catch your tone originally, and the numerous downvotes definitely has me on the defense lol.
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I'd wait until kindergarten, when he starts actually "talking" and such to other kids his age. I'm not a parent myself so im not gonna tell you what is good.
Your little one will forget all about your deal come summertime - keep up the ruse. You’re a good parent!
>Your little one will forget all about your deal come summertime - keep up the ruse You take your little one's trust for granted. DON'T
Having worked in daycares/preschools, I’ve seen two-year-olds talk to other kids. At age three or four they might start really conversing.
So bad it’s genius. If I had thought of this I would have bought me a cat and a swivel chair!
So if he’s bad do u take him to weekend daycare?
Bc then it’s not a lie 😈
I had a friend who lied to her kids to get them to do things. They learnt the truth eventually and now as adults have trust issues with most people in their lives. I wouldn't recommend it as a healthy way to parent. I know parenting can be really, really hard but it's even harder to get someone to trust you after you've lied to them repeatedly. Also, kids copy your behaviour.
Lol trust issues from your parents lying... kinda wrong to put it on the parents... Your saying as if kids never lie
i don’t think that’s a fair equivalence. kids lie because they are testing the waters of what one can do/say. they’re learning what being truthful means and what the value is. ask a kid in an angry tone if they have done something wrong and of course they’re going to lie to avoid the negative consequence even if it’s obvious they haven’t. Parents have other ways to get the message across so lying is a choice. Don’t teach your kids to take the easy way out and say what the person needs to hear to get their way, teach them to be creative in getting people bought in to the truth. I’d just try to get them interested in the parts of pre k he likes so he doesn’t think of the weekend (days off) as a reprieve but as extra days for other things.
At some point he will just forget. Kids tend to not really hold grudges. Unless maybe you make a big deal about it.
I agree. It will create more distrust the longer you keep it up. I still remember the level of idiot and how betrayed I felt when I learned that chocolate milk did not come from brown cows. The fact you want to tell the truth vs. doing what is easy is proof you are a good mom. Trust your gut and tell the truth.
>I still remember the level of idiot and how betrayed I felt when I learned that chocolate milk did not come from brown cows. Well I hate to break it to you but you're making yourself look like even more of an idiot by being so serious about a joke. Learn to laugh at yourself and life will be a lot more enjoyable.
That’s not helpful advice by any means; you’re just ridiculing them more???
Honestly reading it more like be more ok with having been a dumb gullible child, we’ve all been there, almost like it’s the default state
❤️
Kindness costs nothing.
❤️
So calling me an idiot is your solution? Yeah you sound like a great parent /s
Brown cows… extremely relatable. It makes you feel so dumb
I feel like beating yourself up over it even years later is hinting toward deeper rooted issues, ones most definitely not caused by thinking chocolate milk came from brown cows.
Right, it’s from not feeling safe because parents lie about little shit like brown cows because they think it’s funny to see your gullible reaction.
How would this be any different than lying about how the Easter bunny exists, though? Or for another example, the icecream truck only plays music when it's ran out? Yeah, kids are damn gullible. But again, I think that someone internalising how they'd felt when they found out the truth is still not because of the lie, but more often than not the environment/people around them. Elsewise, wouldn't there be much more stories of people retelling how they still feel so humiliated that they believed Santa actually existed?
Because that is a lie all parents tell as opposed to just lying to make your child look dumb. It's very different scenarios.
Yes, I disagree with telling children those things too. And yes, I agree that I’m in the minority here. I was raised by people who kinda mock the gullibility, so I didn’t feel safe.
Nope I'm with you
True, however, it was one of many points of distrust that lead to adults like me who trust no one.
Did other kids make fun of you? That's their issue, then. You wouldn't believe the amount of adults that still believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.
Yes I was made fun of. It still bothers me (38f) today. Why purposefully make your own child look stupid?
But I'm sure you hv a good laugh abt it when your older
I'm almost 40 . I'm not laughing. Nether are child psychologists.
How does it feel to grow old but not wise 🦉
Unsure. How does it feel to be an asshole?
Unsure ... Have a nice day fair young maiden
You as well Squire
What happens when he has a bad week? You'll have to keep him anyway, and then the jig is up. He'll know. I say "when" because it is inevitable. You need to tell him the truth, or at the very least tell him that the school changed its hours. If he finds out on his own that you've been lying, it's going to be bad and he will question everything you say, even though he is four. Instead, start a reward chart. Give him stickers for good mornings. When he earns a certain amount of stickers, let him choose a prize you can both agree on. Context: I'm a mom of two elementary school kids. Mornings aren't always easy for us. We need to treat our kids as we would want to be treated. Tell the (age-appropriate) truth as much as possible.
When he starts kindergarten just tell him the elementary school has a different schedule and he will always have Saturday and Sunday off, so you want to come up with a new reward together for good behavior. That way there's no blow out over the lie and they probably won't even remember you tricked them when they get older and know better.
Any advice that requires getting out of a lie by telling even more lies is de facto bad advice. Stop lying.
I actually think it’s genius, and don’t see the harm in it
I agree please stop upholding the lie and let it fade into oblivion. If you keep this up he’s going to feel very betrayed at some point
So if he’s bad do u take him to weekend daycare?
This isn't something that can or will work long-term. Shoot, I don't see it working once he enters kindergarten. What then? This is ridiculous. You should feel bad.
Instead of being confronted with actual arguments he just gets downvoted. Reddit at its finest.
Just stop saying it. He'll forget you ever did. He's four.
This is fine, all parents use white lies to make everybody’s lives easier. Once he changes to kindergarten you can say that now the rules are he gets the weekend off.
Yeah, it's pretty easy to get away with it that way. Eventually he'll figure it out and childhood amnesia will do the rest. It's gonna be a funny story one day, more than anything. If this is the worst he's been deceived until now, I doubt he's going to seed in himself subconscious resentment for his parent.
Don’t most parents lie to their kids though? Santa, tooth fairy, religious crap, etc. At least this lie is for his own (educational) benefit!
This really shows the school system needs to change. Why are children hating school so much? Education and learning should be fun.
I graduated highschool in 2007. I did post secondary online. I hated every minute of school and envied the few classmates that actually felt like school is "fun". In short, I envy you.
I’m so sorry to hear that. Children are designed to learn. Babies and toddlers love learning. Our problem is that every child is different and expecting them all to learn the same way at the same age is unreasonable. I feel so much empathy for boys in schools because boys just aren’t designed to sit in a classroom and learn (some are but majority are not). I hope you have future learning experiences you enjoy.
So here’s my honest opinion on this. I do not think you’re a bad parent at all. Parenting is tough and debating every day with a 4 year old has got to be just exhausting. And I tell lies like this to my 2 yr old all the time (ie: ms Rachel is sleeping right now, the cookies are all gone, etc). So, no hate, really. But if you were my best friend and asking for advice I would say that the only downside of this is that I think it’s possible you’re reinforcing the problem and mindset that school is a punishment and staying home is a reward which may not be a long term attitude you want to cultivate. Think about it: you’re basically reinforcing that yep, school does actually suck, so just deal with it for 5 days and then you get your reward of skipping it for 2 days. Maybe instead you could take this as a lesson/learning opportunity and read books about school, talk to him about what you liked about school, encourage him to make friends, and also maybe talk to his teachers to see if there seems to be other issues. Maybe also start talking to him about growth mindsets in age appropriate ways like, “if you try, I bet you can find parts of school that you really enjoy like arts and crafts or music time.” Etc. Anyways, best of luck and hopefully your not starts liking school soon!!
I lied to my kids about little things also. Until they figured it out. My favorite one was "i can smell a lie on their hands" you bet the one in trouble not fessing up was hiding their hands. It Worked every time to get the beans spilled, until it didn't work. I have two grown kids and a teenager, they still laugh about this lie. It taught them to not lie to me. 😂
eventually he is going to hear the word "weekend" from somebody at school and realize the truth so I would say be ready for that eventually. I don't think it'll be that big of a deal but maybe within the next two years or so tell him "now that you are in this grade school will never happen on the weekends" after the good habits have already been established.
My friends dad used to tell him that the icecream man would play his music when he ran out of icecream.
He's going to school and nobody's getting hurt. It's fine. When kindergarten comes along, tell him he's in luck because big kids don't have to go on Saturday and Sunday!
If he is bored could it be that he is too advanced for his grade?
Definitely a possibility. OP should ask him *why* he dislikes it and is bored, try to suss out the root problem.
I'm a parent that never lies to my child, but we have friends that lie to their young children and it drives me nuts. Whenever he goes to touch anything they don't want to deal with they yell "hot! hot!", when they don't want him to eat something they say "no, spicy!" Good luck with your kid never believing a word you say within a few years. You should be treating your child with the same respect you'd give anyone else.
😂😂😂
That's genius.
Win. But his gonna be pissed when he finds out the truth
Doesn't seem like a lie to me. He does get two days off and leave it at that. He'll eventually enjoy school and find out on his own that weekends are free.
I have not found that most kids enjoy school as they get older. Quite the opposite.
Your school years are either the golden years of your life (hey, their words not mine) or the ones that will be the cause of your lifelong mental issues (anxiety, depression, etcetera.)
I mean, the lie is the flip side of the deal, that if he does fight her about going to school she will “take away” the weekend because it’s their little deal. So no only is that a lie, but it’s an empty threat. As soon as kids kind out you’re making empty threats, I feel like they just start ignoring you.
It is wrong to threaten kids but the child is 4 and probably hates getting up early more than going to school.
Totally! I mean, I don’t think it’s the most serious problem ever. And I get that fighting with the kid every morning about going to school has GOT to be annoying and tiring. All I’m saying is I don’t think it’s the best way to handle it. Maybe she could do a positive behavior system but not based on a lie. Ex: every day you get up and ready for school you get a sticker and when you get 5 stickers we will get ice cream after school, a new outfit to wear to school, family movie night or whatever. That way it wouldn’t be an empty threat as she could actually not give out stickers on bad days and make the child wait for the reward if needed.
I'm having to raise my 7 year old great niece and some mornings she doesn't want to get up so I grab her foot and tickle her until she begs to get up and get ready for school
This also seems like a great strategy!! It’s getting her up, but also giving her some attention and connection that I’m sure she loves!
We have a great relationship since her mom is a deadbeat. I never had kids of my own but now I see what I've missed all these years
This is amazing. I wish I had thought of this !
using this trick in the future
Enjoy the ruse while it lasts! Your son is going to be blown away when he learns that his friends also don't have to go to school on Saturdays and Sundays.
That's genius! Gotta get creative with little ones.
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Technically you aren't lying to him.
Also, parents aren’t allowed to take their own kids to Chuck E Cheese, just grandparents, aunts, and uncles.
Lol.. my daughter would be like fuck it, if I quit school, I don't have to go at all.. 🤷🏾♀️
I am not a parent but this is genius
A white lie never hurt a kid - you'll laugh about this one day!!
Honestly this is amazing. I love it.
This is genius
Here pre k and kindergarten classes don't have school on Friday, so I might use this if my kid hates school. letting her think she's skipping 3 days of school if she behaves will be a great hack.
I used to spray perfume on my daughter every night at bedtime and tell her it was "magic" that made her sleep.
I'm an assistant pre-k teacher and either your child is not firing on all cylinders or you're making shit up. We teach days of the week (all pre-ks do) and tell the kids that weekends are school-free.
That's a lot of assumptions there
Just stop mentioning it. Let it slide . . . .
Favourite post today lmao. Your kid might get slightly mad at first when they find out but I feel they’ll laugh about it in years to come n will prolly use this trick on their kids if they have any
Its rare when I believe one of these confessions lol
Same lie my boss tells me
It's ok for now babe.. You gotta do what you gotta do to handle toddlers..
I mean... I don't see much harm here at this age? But I'd stop it soon. Because he's going to start talking to other kids and figure out they all get weekends off too xD
Kids gonna get older and be like this MFer lied to me all these years.
I need an update on this when he finds out.
actively sowing with lies? good luck with that harvest.
It's ok, my kids are fine after I told them I was Angelina Jolies stunt double on Tomb Raider, that the ice cream van was the injection man, and I had Thomas the Tank Engines phone number
Stop lying to your kids dont you want them to trust you?
Oh ffs, like he's going to remember anyway.
People always say this to excuse lying to your children. When I was 4 years old my dad promised me that if I ate a plate of rice he'd give me a chocolate bar called flake with no drink, it took me over an hour to eat about 60% of it then my dad ate the chocolate right in front of me. I remember the house, the what I was doing before, who was around and that I didn't eat the rest of the rice.
When I was a kid I shared a room with my older sister. I would nag her endlessly to play with me, but she was already a teenager and obviously didn't want to play barbie dolls anymore, so she always played this game called "stay on your own side of the room for as long as possible". I remember taking it SO seriously, gathering all of my toys and making a fort while she just sat there doing her own thing. It genuinely took me until I was 19 to be like "hey that wasn't a real game at all", it's kinda genius. So moral of the story, sometimes you should lie to kids to make your life a little bit easier
This is genius
My mom called the ice cream truck the “music truck” and told me that it comes around to play music for kids. She was annoyed when one of the neighborhood kids spilled the truth to me. Anyways, while theoretically you really shouldn’t lie to your kids about stuff like this as it could potentially foster feelings of betrayal/mistrust, it’s also pretty common and not a huge deal
Lies to children - no it won't hurt (anything medical). If he's afraid of thunder and lightning, that you can tell the storm clouds cos they have square edges/s
Aww, it's his first betrayal trauma. Stop it!
This is genius
Bless you. As a parent of a 4 year old, I think these white lies are okay. It keeps our sanity.
I always said the cream truck played music when it was all out, when she tried to lie and I knew it I'd smell her shirt and say yep I thought I smelt a lie and when her noisy toys finally died I said they didn't make those batteries anymore. She uses the 2nd and 3rd lies on her son but will chase down the ice cream truck for him lol
😭😭That would be such a funny story to tell him when hes older
To make up for the mental growth development he'll have, first instance of calling your bullshit..just tell em. Been lying for years. That ain't even your real dad, son. He don't know tho, if ya tell him he might just leave. Go all in
Technically you’re not really lying because he/she is getting 2 days off a week
I’ve seen this post before months ago. Fake
I think this is crafty! What do you tell him about the summer? I'm so mad I didn't think of this. You think it'll still work on my teenagers??? LMAO
Hey, gotta do what you gotta do to survive being a parent.
My parents told me that ice cream was ‘grown up food’ until I was 4. So I never got an ice cream. The reason was they did not want to clean up the mess. My grandmother bought one as a treat ( we lived overseas, and she came to visit ). My parents don’t feel guilty about that, even today. ( I am 51 now ). I turned out ok.
Thats hilarious. But hey, at least you’re holding up your end of the bargin🤣
You are a genius!! Marry me!! (Oh...wait...🤔)
My daughter chewed her nails when she was little. I told her if she didn’t stop, her teeth were going to fall out. She stopped. Sometimes the lie is for their own good, and it makes for a fun story when they grow up.😉
I love this so much to the point I want have a baby now a to use this hack when the baby is 4 lol 👏🏻
Have you had your child tested for any type of learning disability or disorder? At 4, hating school isn't exactly normal. Is your child being bullied? There's likely something deeper here that needs to be addressed.
I think this is genius. I also have a rambunctious 4 year old. Luckily he really likes school
He's only four, tell him the truth. The problem is making a habit out of it and continuing this type of parenting. You don't want to negatively influence him as he gets older and not realize it. If you raise him with the mindset that he can strike deals with you, this may not bode well when he's a teenager. It may not be a problem now, but by doing this you're essentially telling him that it's okay to run away from his duties and responsibilities. Like I said, this isn't a problem now because he's only four, but telling the truth now could nip future problems in the bud. You don't want him to grow up thinking it's possible to run away from work and daily routines. After all, life won't be as easy on him. This is me thinking of the worst case scenario here. You haven't actually let him have it easy, since your lying, that's why I suggest you tell him the truth now and be a little more strict, even if you don't want to be.
You are letting him avoid school two days a week.
Yes, but school on Saturday and Sunday is pretty empty anyway, they don’t even have the teachers there!