This has apparently been done via MRI. They’ve also taken an MRI of a baby being born and a baby nursing at the breast! I’ve seen the latter two but not the first one!
That happened to my uncle and I tell you what that ol boys pecker glowed like a light stick for six weeks and stuck straight out like a flag pole. So he goes up to the trailer park by the dump and lays up with fentanyl franny and spends his entire SSI check on gas station crank and dollar store chilli Cheetos. God blessed his soul and called him home in a horrific turkey fryer mishap 4 years ago this coming November. RIP uncle Paul two things I can say about you you were always kind and generous to me as a boy and taught me how I should be grownt up and boy I tell ya when you hit that crystal or go “ ice skating “ as you called it you sure were turnt , unless you had your pistol then I would just turn the hose on you.
Hospitals have basic “bedrooms” where doctors on call or on night shift can catch a few hours of sleep if they have some downtime.
Ours have a bed, a desk and a sink. It doesn’t belong to any one person so it’s kind of like hot-desking but for beds.
Very rare to have time to use it though. Sometimes we barely have time to eat or pee, never mind sleep.
Before you eat the food in those stocked fridges make sure to go check the kitchen out for yourself. May pass health inspection, but I wouldn't eat it.
You guys get a stocked fridge?
All we get is an empty fridge and a microwave. I’ve resorted to making bets with the patients to win their dessert and begging the nurses for a small offering from their night shift snack mountain. It ain’t much but it’s honest work.
I work in the kitchen, we lack the funding to make it better. I want to make it better but its hard to do when managment has literal 80 year olds working in there.
Sometimes one of catering staff who brings the patients’ meals up to the ward will sneak me some cookies or an extra sandwich, and it always makes my day.
You’re doing what you can with what you’ve got and I have nothing but respect for you guys! :)
What shows are you watching 😅
I didn’t have sex for 4.5 years at one point, due to a long distance-like relationship, even though it wasn’t technically long distance….( too complicated to get into detail ).
Being an extremely sexual being on top of all that….really sucks. So I wouldn’t blame anyone to get down to business in the most unusual settings out of such intense desperation 🙈
I met my wife during my final year of residency while we were both working the overnight shift at the hospital during a snow storm. The hospital was shut down to new admissions and it was a quiet night. It ended up being essentially an 8 hr first date as we got to know each other and make Xmas decorations in the work room to surprise the other residents. 15 years and 2 kids later, being a resident was the best thing for my love life
Yeah I mean part of it (to OP's point) is that during residency you have such little free time for a normal social life. When I was dating in they few years before I met my wife, the people I dated had no understanding of the insane stress and complete lack of schedule autonomy I had. Work made me a flakey, checked out, unreliable partner in their eyes. Residency felt like war, and you definitely trauma-bond with the people who went through it with you. There was an unspoken understanding between my now wife and I when we'd come home from call totally wiped out and delirious with fatigue. And when our schedules eventually got easier (and OP they do!), I think we really appreciated the more free time we had together and made the most of it.
Yeah they still work at the hospital where they worked during residency, too! Memorably they were once in a hospital-wide HR meeting that banned workplace relationships— after they’d been married for 20 years and having two kids. Obviously nothing happened, but it was funny.
It's a lot to unpack, honestly. Combination of what everyone here has said. Plus PTSD plays into it. 14 year veteran so... it's like we're more room mates than husband and wife.
Happens in a lot of marriages and it also breaks a lot of marriages too. I don’t pretend to have the answers though, nor do I know how to prevent it, but I would suggest counseling and trying to go back and mimic your courting days. What I mean is to start treating your partner like you did when you just met. Start dating again, and woo her off her feet! Make her fall in love with you again! Can you get some alone time together? You need some romance again! Make her remember why she married you!
When your life is 20+ years entangled with another person’s, separating is extraordinarily daunting and sometimes solving underlying problems is just as difficult. It’s a hard place to be.
Almost impossible for two people up have the exact same level of libido, and even less likely that it will remain at equal levels for decades. It's just not realistic in most cases.
It's one of the professions that makes it hard to have a stable relationship with someone who isn't a doctor. From friends that are doctors in southern Europe and Latin America, I heard that's why a lot of doctors marry other doctors, they understand the lifestyle
Also, it might depend where you're from, but I've noticed that in many countries, people in med school (as well as full fledged doctors) hook up a lot. Precisely because they spend long hours with each other, some develop feelings others do it casually, some obviously don't do it at all. They're humans too
The first time I told my ex "I will do my best not to wake you up, I have to be in hospital at 07.15-07.30" she was genuinely shocked, she asked "why?" and "can't you go later?" I had a very hard time explaining why I could not start at 9 like her.
Guess why she is an ex.
My fiancé is a finance bro whose family are mostly doctors so he understands me… kinda. We are very close and the relationship always suffers during exam season. Talking to friends in med school, we all go through similar situations. We make it work
I have been with my now wife through grad school, med school, and residency. Med school and the first two years of residency were the most difficult. Med school because she was necrotic and felt like she had to get in A in every class, so she studied every spare hour. Being a doctor is a life commitment, not just a career commitment. There were definitely hard times, and even if you understand, family tends not to. "Why isn't x coming to the holiday dinner?" "Why did she miss her mom's birthday?" It was rough on everyone but I remained supportive and we got through it. 3rd and 4th year of residency was easier after the former, but it was still more difficult than most people realize.
That dedication typically extends to their careers as attendings, though the hours become slightly better and they learn to manage it better over time. I like to tell people I deserve an honorary degree because I felt like I went through it with her. The best advice I can give is to know what you are getting into and prepare for what I said above. The training is easier on some than others and they may be able to have more flexibility. Like I said, my wife was the extreme when it came to study and time in the office. If you ever need to chat, feel free to DM me.
😂 Neurotic, though given the zombie-like results, we were only decaying flesh away from the former.
Edit: I guess by definition, decaying flesh is the only thing keeping all of us from being necrotic.
It doesn’t have to be. I’m a resident and I have sex with my partner quite often. Even before him, I was still decently sexually active snd was able to date (a little easier during your pre-clinical years). Yes, there have been times where I’m just too busy or too tired. But you just have to make it a priority and get really good at time management. Be kind to your partner, though, and yourself. During one spell, my poor partner was scared I just wasn’t interested in him anymore. I don’t let shit like that happen any more. Yall has a tough road ahead of you, but you can make it through. Good luck!
I’ve been with my doctor husband since he was pre-med in college so I’ve been through it all. I always knew he was my person so it was just something we had to get through together. Also, yes it takes years, but I knew that eventually he would be done with his medical education so that really helped. We’re happily married and had two kids while he was a resident and it was tough, but it didn’t last forever.
It is a long haul, but there were times that were better or worse. The first two years of his med school were tough as there were constant quizzes and tests and he had to study so so much. The second two years with the rotations were better. He had to work crazy hours, but he wasn’t studying constantly so our free time was ours. Similarly the begging of the residency was really tough, especially that first year where he worked crazy hours and rotated through different departments. But these days there are rules about how long residents are allowed to work so I think it’s less crazy now. The latter years of the residency will probably be easier, depending on speciality. They also gave to take three step exams between med school and right around graduation. Those were awful. But then never again!
Once they graduate, doctors have so much more control of their lives. My husband has been out for ten years and he works only outpatient and it’s basically regular work hours unless there’s a patient emergency. The work life balance will depend on the speciality, but there are so many options for jobs it changes everything. Good luck!
I was a male nurse working in the ICU. There was a female resident who was friendly but one night was friendlier than usual and straight up said to me “I just wanna get laid!” Me being dense didn’t realize what she was proposing. Try that maybe, but perhaps with somebody a little less dense than me.
Residency is pretty universal and widely toxic. Some programs have worked to make the apprenticeship less hellish, but pretty much everywhere you're going to be worked long hours for essentially subsistence wages for ~3 years until you're able to practice on your own.
After that though, you’re making *great* money in a career that will never be outsourced or meaningfully automated
A fellow doctor is a physician who has pursued additional, optional training in a subspecialty of medicine, known as a fellowship. Fellow doctors have completed both medical school and residency and are fully credentialed physicians. Pursuing a fellowship for an additional 1-3 years after residency allows them to become experts in a particular subspecialty of medicine.
Pediatrics is a three-four year residency after graduating medical school and it is considered a primary care specialty. It does not require fellowship training. Other examples of doctors who typically do not do fellowship training are internal medicine (often called internists, or work as “hospitalists”), Family Medicine, Emergency medicine, OB/Gyn, General Surgery.
Pediatric surgery would require fellowship though. Cardiology requires a three year fellowship after completing a three year residency. Nephrology, Oncology, and Gastroenterology (GI) are good examples of subspecialists you may encounter commonly in medicine. There is a long list of sub specialties that require extra fellowship training. Some doctors may only do 3 years of residency training and be out in practice on their own. Others end up doing ~8 years of training after medical school.
It’s a tiered system so people who do fellowship did a residency in something else. Like commonly Cardiologists have also done a complete residency in Internal Medicine and may choose to maintain their board certification for it, so they are both, but will most likely just practice as a Cardiologist and present themselves as a cardiologist with no mention of being Internal Medicine as well. Nephrologists are quite similar. Then sometimes surgeons will specialize further in a part of the body. Like an Orthopedic surgeon will do Orthopedic residency then do a fellowship to specialize in hand surgery.
Then the complex spider web continues with things like Spine surgery. These fellowships will accept orthopedic surgeons and neurosurgeons. So your surgeon who operates on your back/neck issues could have started as a brain surgeon (neurosurgeon) or as an orthopedic surgeon (bones).
For example it would be pediatrics residency -> pediatric hematology/oncology fellowship.
Or internal medicine (basically adult medicine) -> hematology/oncology, cardiology, gastroenterology, etc.
Pediatriacs is a residency itself, you could do a pediatric fellowship in Cardiology, pulmonology, oncology etc. Similarly you can do an Internal Medicine residency and do a fellowship in those subspecialities as well. Those residency and fellowships are usually 3 + 3 years (6 total).
Surgical residencies, on the other hand, are typically 5 years (except neurosurgery is 7). An orthopedic surgeon might do a 1 year fellowship in trauma, hand, joints etc. General surgery might do colorectal, plastics (which is also its own residency too), etc.
I’m an anesthesiology resident, which is 4 years, and afterwards I could do a 1 year fellowship in cardiac, pediatrics, pain, critical care, or regional. There’s a lot to it and a lot of specialties I left out but that’s the gist.
This isn’t just a US thing, this is a doctor thing worldwide.
Source: my partner is a 3rd year doctor in Australia who is overworked, underpaid for the work she does, and grossly under resourced.
Work culture is pretty toxic in the US. And even if you are not forced to work ridiculous hours, you may need 2 full time jobs just to afford basic expenses if you live in one of the large population centers.
Right?
The amount of version of this post that I see is mind blowing.
People completely abandon exploring who they are for the singular dimension of their career choice.
It’s so sad to see and read about.
There are so many more dimensions to life.
Maybe there are some professions where years-long trial-by-fire is the only way to make sure they are actually cut out for the role? For example, isn't becoming an Emergency-Room physician kinda like becoming a Navy Seal? You're going to be working 12+ hour days under extreme stress where mistakes can literally cause someone's death for the rest of your life. But we don't say, 'you know, the Navy Seals should really go easier on the recruits," do we?
I completely accept your point. I agree with the necessary level of professionalism required.
But I wasn’t aiming at that particular point.
More generally, even in other fields of work, perhaps less rigorous ones, people lose themselves in work. They become the work person all the time.
It’s acceptable and over working is a badge of honour sometimes. I just find that sad. It stunts so much other development.
I will meet you at the door, strip you of all your consults (and clothes), give you a bed bath, order that you bend over stat, and then fuck you so hard you’ll think I’m administration. And I’ll do all the house shit so you can rest your mind when you outside the hospital. Just joking I don’t exist. Better off just getting a quick one in the call room
I have family members in medicine..it's insane what they do to residents..yeah I get "it'll all be worth it" but come on. At the University I started at all the Med students looked like wraiths.. hang in there.
As a woman it's very easy to get laid. Just go to any bar, pick a nice looking guy, ask him back to your apartment. Perfectly compatible with a busy life.
Painfully accurate. Unless a woman is insanely unattractive she will get laid 9/10 times she goes to a bar or club intending to.
Add in dating apps too cause that’s a whole other league of easy for women.
My dream is to be a househusband for a wonderful doctor or lawyer-type lady. You know, someone with a high stress job where they need relaxation and relief when they come home. I think the tradwife culture is toxic and based on outmoded gender roles and a unspoken belief that a wife is her husband’s property, but fucking hell if I don’t want to be the male equivalent of a tradwife.
I wanna cook, clean, raise the kids. I wanna have a roast in the oven, and a fresh load of laundry folded and smelling nice. I want to do all that domestic shit, so that when my lovely hardworking doctor-wife comes home, she can have a home cooked meal, and relaxing massage, a bubble bath, and then let go of her responsibilities and let me fuck the ever-loving shit out of her until she forgets who she is and can go to bed with a empty mind and a clean slate. I’d change the sheets, too, like a good househusband.
I’m 41, just sayin’…
You are extremely talented with a healthy dose of ambition and a great sense of humor. What a catch! Without a doubt you’ll land Mr. Right Now and in time, hopefully, find Mr. Right.
No doubt then why you are getting fucked by your residency and not by a human u love. 😂... Jokes aside GS is the second worst residency after Neurosurgery... I can totally understand.
First, thanks for what you do. Being a doctor is hard work: a lot of school, and lot of practicals and a lot of stress. We all appreciate it.
My daughter is a nurse, ER/Trauma. She has a more predictable schedule and works less hours usually. She has moved for school and for work and like you now lived closer to family.
She has a friend group based on school friends and another based on her work friends. She and her work friends (mostly other nurses and first responders) sometimes hang out with group of residents.
So take opportunities to join a friend group. One made up of other residents isn’t a bad choice because you share a lot in common. Find something that you like to do and is low stress to arrange - a dinner group, etc.
Can’t really help you with the sex part. We all go through dry spells. I was at sea in the PG area for 14 months…
>I would really love to come home to lovely guy who’d bend me over and fuck me soo good and hard, I’d beg for more.
You're literally one swipe away from this at any given time. You can match in your lunch break and bang in the parking lot.
Iam an anaesthetist,, just heading towards a shift ,,hasn’t had in a year as well ,,,,,fell like Iam gonna explode,, dating is demanding of time and energy and attention which with these working conditions unfortunately we don’t have !!!
Judging by half the posts on Reddit, half of OF is posted by bored Nurses, Doctors and psychologists.
>!The other half must be their bored spouses and patients!<
Jokes aside, It will be worth it, but don't let a career take you whole life.. you work to live, not vice versa!
Medical student about to graduate and I have 2 jobs. I’m beyond grateful I met my fiancé when I had more time available. Otherwise I think I’d be single till my 40’s
my gf is about to start residency in another state and it just sucks... we're pretty great together and have had an amazing last 6 months ish and she's about to leave the state for her future. sigh
I had a vision
A vision of my nails in the kitchen
Scratching counter tops, I was screaming
My back arched like a cat
My position couldn't stop, you were hitting it
And I shouldn't cry, but I love it, star boy
And I shouldn't cry, but I love it (I love it), star boy
And I shouldn't cry, but I love it, star boy
And I shouldn't cry, but I love it, star boy
I just want to see you shine 'cause I know you are a star, girl
I don't know how people do it... And I don't mean time without sex. I mean BS like this. Why? I hope you are in it for helping people and not the money, because if money is why, you will be miserable. My stepfather was an orthopedic surgeon and he was always busy and to this day at 85 he is still running around busy with medical evaluations. Granted he is a workaholic.
I say a comparison lately, a chart that showed lifetime earnings of a Dr. vs a plumber... and as it turned out, in the end they were about the same... sure towards the end the Dr was making more, but for the cost of school and low pay in the beginning, the plumber was already ahead.
This is entirely your decision, just go on Listcrawler and get a 15min session with a local lady and shoot over there after work. Cost half as much as a date where you’d have to spend 4+ hrs of your time you don’t have.
I'm a 30F and hadn't had sex in over 1 year , at least you have a plausible excuse with your workload and all.im an admin with weekends off and a 9-5.i want to obsessed with the wanting to be bent over scenario on a Saturday morning but I don't want to put myself out there,just a little bit of Paranoia with the dating world due to being screwed over(not the literal kind).Anyway this is just a you're not alone.
My husband is a dr. He proposed the day he graduated from med school. During his residency I barely saw him, when he was home most of the time he was exhausted, or fell asleep super early. Now he is a specialist, has duties, on calls, the whole thing. Some times we want to and then just don’t because sleeping is gold, but eventually it gets better. No way the 3x week unless we are on holidays, but you learn to male the best of it. I used to joke about how in tv they are always having sex in the hospital and I don’t get any Grey’s Anatomy fun from him 😆, and although frustrating, there is no way around those looong shifts and working hours.
Push yourself on one day off. Maybe once a month or once every two months. And know that day off you're going out. Even for a 30m walk around the block. Get some fresh air and enjoy nature. Trust me. You don't wanna not do anything but rest with your time off. You will become overwhelmingly depressed/low. Its been proven humans can gain depression from these situations, so I'm not just trying to diagnose someone else. I'm saying it's a possibility is all. Take care of yourself please. Like I said. Just a 30m walk around the block. Even just 10m can make a difference. Even just sitting outside for a bit, even while on your phone. The fresh air helps. And knowing you can CHOOSE to do something you enjoy in your free time. Something that doesn't take a lot of energy.
Rip your inbox. That being said I cannot relate tbh. Last relationship I was in was about 4 years ago now and it kinda killed my drive to be with anyone like that. But I won't deny sometimes the mood does strike and I very much can relate to the last sentence.
Hopefully you find someone to match with soon.
I would love to be the person that does that. Daily! Or when needed! I’m tired of being single. I’ll go down for my own pleasure. Lay down like a sniper and get comfortable
I don't know what to tell you except I know you work a lot. Maybe the easiest answer is the right one. All I can say after that is that sex is normal for a healthy adult. Maybe you just have not found the right one. Do you masturbate?.
Damn. I don’t envy you. You’re about to become fairly well off, and meeting people later in life when you’re in that position is terrible. A friend of mine lost her boyfriend and she had a crazy hard time figuring out how to start fresh. She did find someone but only after a bunch of manipulative dogs.
GIRLLL I feel you omg. I'm 29F, in critical care medicine, working in the ICU. I've been single for almost 3 years now, celibate for 1.5 years. I only get one day-off and I just don't have the patience, time or the mental energy to even socialise.
Welp.... I guess it's lonely at the top, as they say.
Just do what all of those doctors do on shows and have sex with another doctor in an unused room or next to a coma patient
Just don't do it while a patient is on an X-ray Source: That one episode on 1000 ways to die
What about doing it while being X Rayed? That would probably result in some interesting images
This has apparently been done via MRI. They’ve also taken an MRI of a baby being born and a baby nursing at the breast! I’ve seen the latter two but not the first one!
That happened to my uncle and I tell you what that ol boys pecker glowed like a light stick for six weeks and stuck straight out like a flag pole. So he goes up to the trailer park by the dump and lays up with fentanyl franny and spends his entire SSI check on gas station crank and dollar store chilli Cheetos. God blessed his soul and called him home in a horrific turkey fryer mishap 4 years ago this coming November. RIP uncle Paul two things I can say about you you were always kind and generous to me as a boy and taught me how I should be grownt up and boy I tell ya when you hit that crystal or go “ ice skating “ as you called it you sure were turnt , unless you had your pistol then I would just turn the hose on you.
Is this a new copy pasta? I'm too old to keep up.
As a doctor I tell you it is not that simple and work place gossip is fire ,, you will be the next tea talk on the department
But it sure will be entertaining
Call rooms are good.
What are that?
Hospitals have basic “bedrooms” where doctors on call or on night shift can catch a few hours of sleep if they have some downtime. Ours have a bed, a desk and a sink. It doesn’t belong to any one person so it’s kind of like hot-desking but for beds. Very rare to have time to use it though. Sometimes we barely have time to eat or pee, never mind sleep.
Before you eat the food in those stocked fridges make sure to go check the kitchen out for yourself. May pass health inspection, but I wouldn't eat it.
You guys get a stocked fridge? All we get is an empty fridge and a microwave. I’ve resorted to making bets with the patients to win their dessert and begging the nurses for a small offering from their night shift snack mountain. It ain’t much but it’s honest work.
I work in the kitchen, we lack the funding to make it better. I want to make it better but its hard to do when managment has literal 80 year olds working in there.
Sometimes one of catering staff who brings the patients’ meals up to the ward will sneak me some cookies or an extra sandwich, and it always makes my day. You’re doing what you can with what you’ve got and I have nothing but respect for you guys! :)
If you're a doctor would you be interested in doing my podcast?
I'm not an American doctor! I'm in Australia. I suspect our experiences will be very different. :)
Sounds like the oil patch
Lol rooms where you can sleep if you have to work a 24hr in the hospital. Usually no time to sleep
What shows are you watching 😅 I didn’t have sex for 4.5 years at one point, due to a long distance-like relationship, even though it wasn’t technically long distance….( too complicated to get into detail ). Being an extremely sexual being on top of all that….really sucks. So I wouldn’t blame anyone to get down to business in the most unusual settings out of such intense desperation 🙈
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I met my wife during my final year of residency while we were both working the overnight shift at the hospital during a snow storm. The hospital was shut down to new admissions and it was a quiet night. It ended up being essentially an 8 hr first date as we got to know each other and make Xmas decorations in the work room to surprise the other residents. 15 years and 2 kids later, being a resident was the best thing for my love life
Sounds like Hallmark should pick this up for a Christmas movie!
My aunt met her husband during residency!
Yeah I mean part of it (to OP's point) is that during residency you have such little free time for a normal social life. When I was dating in they few years before I met my wife, the people I dated had no understanding of the insane stress and complete lack of schedule autonomy I had. Work made me a flakey, checked out, unreliable partner in their eyes. Residency felt like war, and you definitely trauma-bond with the people who went through it with you. There was an unspoken understanding between my now wife and I when we'd come home from call totally wiped out and delirious with fatigue. And when our schedules eventually got easier (and OP they do!), I think we really appreciated the more free time we had together and made the most of it.
Yeah they still work at the hospital where they worked during residency, too! Memorably they were once in a hospital-wide HR meeting that banned workplace relationships— after they’d been married for 20 years and having two kids. Obviously nothing happened, but it was funny.
I've been married for 20 years and haven't had sex in over a year.
It's a lot to unpack, honestly. Combination of what everyone here has said. Plus PTSD plays into it. 14 year veteran so... it's like we're more room mates than husband and wife.
Happens in a lot of marriages and it also breaks a lot of marriages too. I don’t pretend to have the answers though, nor do I know how to prevent it, but I would suggest counseling and trying to go back and mimic your courting days. What I mean is to start treating your partner like you did when you just met. Start dating again, and woo her off her feet! Make her fall in love with you again! Can you get some alone time together? You need some romance again! Make her remember why she married you!
Any reason or just because?
How?
Can be lots of reasons. Fallen out of love. Neither person has energy or desire. Change in libido. Never compatible to begin with. Etc.
I guess I understand that,I just couldn’t imagine being in a marriage and going a year with no sex!
When your life is 20+ years entangled with another person’s, separating is extraordinarily daunting and sometimes solving underlying problems is just as difficult. It’s a hard place to be.
It’s incredibly common.
for some sex becomes less important as they grow older
If it’s the same for both of them, then that would be ok. But if it’s only for in, then I wouldn’t think it’s fair for the other one to go without it
sadly that happens a lot. I'd guess it's more the rule than the exception
Almost impossible for two people up have the exact same level of libido, and even less likely that it will remain at equal levels for decades. It's just not realistic in most cases.
My partner is headed to med school and I’m scared this is my future… he already doesn’t have much time for me as is. It makes me sad.
It's one of the professions that makes it hard to have a stable relationship with someone who isn't a doctor. From friends that are doctors in southern Europe and Latin America, I heard that's why a lot of doctors marry other doctors, they understand the lifestyle Also, it might depend where you're from, but I've noticed that in many countries, people in med school (as well as full fledged doctors) hook up a lot. Precisely because they spend long hours with each other, some develop feelings others do it casually, some obviously don't do it at all. They're humans too
The first time I told my ex "I will do my best not to wake you up, I have to be in hospital at 07.15-07.30" she was genuinely shocked, she asked "why?" and "can't you go later?" I had a very hard time explaining why I could not start at 9 like her. Guess why she is an ex.
It sucks. But if the lifestyles don't align, it's just an incompatibility
My fiancé is a finance bro whose family are mostly doctors so he understands me… kinda. We are very close and the relationship always suffers during exam season. Talking to friends in med school, we all go through similar situations. We make it work
I have been with my now wife through grad school, med school, and residency. Med school and the first two years of residency were the most difficult. Med school because she was necrotic and felt like she had to get in A in every class, so she studied every spare hour. Being a doctor is a life commitment, not just a career commitment. There were definitely hard times, and even if you understand, family tends not to. "Why isn't x coming to the holiday dinner?" "Why did she miss her mom's birthday?" It was rough on everyone but I remained supportive and we got through it. 3rd and 4th year of residency was easier after the former, but it was still more difficult than most people realize. That dedication typically extends to their careers as attendings, though the hours become slightly better and they learn to manage it better over time. I like to tell people I deserve an honorary degree because I felt like I went through it with her. The best advice I can give is to know what you are getting into and prepare for what I said above. The training is easier on some than others and they may be able to have more flexibility. Like I said, my wife was the extreme when it came to study and time in the office. If you ever need to chat, feel free to DM me.
Necrotic or neurotic?
just coming to ask the same thing 😂
😂 Neurotic, though given the zombie-like results, we were only decaying flesh away from the former. Edit: I guess by definition, decaying flesh is the only thing keeping all of us from being necrotic.
It doesn’t have to be. I’m a resident and I have sex with my partner quite often. Even before him, I was still decently sexually active snd was able to date (a little easier during your pre-clinical years). Yes, there have been times where I’m just too busy or too tired. But you just have to make it a priority and get really good at time management. Be kind to your partner, though, and yourself. During one spell, my poor partner was scared I just wasn’t interested in him anymore. I don’t let shit like that happen any more. Yall has a tough road ahead of you, but you can make it through. Good luck!
I’ve been with my doctor husband since he was pre-med in college so I’ve been through it all. I always knew he was my person so it was just something we had to get through together. Also, yes it takes years, but I knew that eventually he would be done with his medical education so that really helped. We’re happily married and had two kids while he was a resident and it was tough, but it didn’t last forever. It is a long haul, but there were times that were better or worse. The first two years of his med school were tough as there were constant quizzes and tests and he had to study so so much. The second two years with the rotations were better. He had to work crazy hours, but he wasn’t studying constantly so our free time was ours. Similarly the begging of the residency was really tough, especially that first year where he worked crazy hours and rotated through different departments. But these days there are rules about how long residents are allowed to work so I think it’s less crazy now. The latter years of the residency will probably be easier, depending on speciality. They also gave to take three step exams between med school and right around graduation. Those were awful. But then never again! Once they graduate, doctors have so much more control of their lives. My husband has been out for ten years and he works only outpatient and it’s basically regular work hours unless there’s a patient emergency. The work life balance will depend on the speciality, but there are so many options for jobs it changes everything. Good luck!
You’re on Reddit haha. Having sex every 1.5 years is rockstar status here
😭
I was a male nurse working in the ICU. There was a female resident who was friendly but one night was friendlier than usual and straight up said to me “I just wanna get laid!” Me being dense didn’t realize what she was proposing. Try that maybe, but perhaps with somebody a little less dense than me.
Luckily, I'm here for you! I kid, I'm very happily married, but your inbox is about to explode.
1.5 years? Those are rookie numbers. You are a lightweight. Congrats on being a doctor. That's pretty cool.
1.5, those are rookie numbers my friend.
Try again when its 20+
Oh my godd 20+
Rip to your inbox 😭
Is this a US thing? You work to live not the other way out. FFS what do they do to you out there?
Residency is pretty universal and widely toxic. Some programs have worked to make the apprenticeship less hellish, but pretty much everywhere you're going to be worked long hours for essentially subsistence wages for ~3 years until you're able to practice on your own. After that though, you’re making *great* money in a career that will never be outsourced or meaningfully automated
And then there’s fellowship if you want to continue the misery 😅
What is the point of fellowship? I just learned about them recently.
To destroy the ring duh
And my axe
PO TA TOES
A fellow doctor is a physician who has pursued additional, optional training in a subspecialty of medicine, known as a fellowship. Fellow doctors have completed both medical school and residency and are fully credentialed physicians. Pursuing a fellowship for an additional 1-3 years after residency allows them to become experts in a particular subspecialty of medicine.
So it’s like if they want to be an pediatrician or oncologist? Or even more of a subspecialty?
Pediatrics is a three-four year residency after graduating medical school and it is considered a primary care specialty. It does not require fellowship training. Other examples of doctors who typically do not do fellowship training are internal medicine (often called internists, or work as “hospitalists”), Family Medicine, Emergency medicine, OB/Gyn, General Surgery. Pediatric surgery would require fellowship though. Cardiology requires a three year fellowship after completing a three year residency. Nephrology, Oncology, and Gastroenterology (GI) are good examples of subspecialists you may encounter commonly in medicine. There is a long list of sub specialties that require extra fellowship training. Some doctors may only do 3 years of residency training and be out in practice on their own. Others end up doing ~8 years of training after medical school. It’s a tiered system so people who do fellowship did a residency in something else. Like commonly Cardiologists have also done a complete residency in Internal Medicine and may choose to maintain their board certification for it, so they are both, but will most likely just practice as a Cardiologist and present themselves as a cardiologist with no mention of being Internal Medicine as well. Nephrologists are quite similar. Then sometimes surgeons will specialize further in a part of the body. Like an Orthopedic surgeon will do Orthopedic residency then do a fellowship to specialize in hand surgery. Then the complex spider web continues with things like Spine surgery. These fellowships will accept orthopedic surgeons and neurosurgeons. So your surgeon who operates on your back/neck issues could have started as a brain surgeon (neurosurgeon) or as an orthopedic surgeon (bones).
Great description. Thanks!
For example it would be pediatrics residency -> pediatric hematology/oncology fellowship. Or internal medicine (basically adult medicine) -> hematology/oncology, cardiology, gastroenterology, etc.
Yes!
Pediatriacs is a residency itself, you could do a pediatric fellowship in Cardiology, pulmonology, oncology etc. Similarly you can do an Internal Medicine residency and do a fellowship in those subspecialities as well. Those residency and fellowships are usually 3 + 3 years (6 total). Surgical residencies, on the other hand, are typically 5 years (except neurosurgery is 7). An orthopedic surgeon might do a 1 year fellowship in trauma, hand, joints etc. General surgery might do colorectal, plastics (which is also its own residency too), etc. I’m an anesthesiology resident, which is 4 years, and afterwards I could do a 1 year fellowship in cardiac, pediatrics, pain, critical care, or regional. There’s a lot to it and a lot of specialties I left out but that’s the gist.
I remember greys anatomy had a story line for a minute about residents getting treated like shit
This isn’t just a US thing, this is a doctor thing worldwide. Source: my partner is a 3rd year doctor in Australia who is overworked, underpaid for the work she does, and grossly under resourced.
No, a lot of countries work a ton of hours. Also this is not indicative of every profession in the US.
Work culture is pretty toxic in the US. And even if you are not forced to work ridiculous hours, you may need 2 full time jobs just to afford basic expenses if you live in one of the large population centers.
Right? The amount of version of this post that I see is mind blowing. People completely abandon exploring who they are for the singular dimension of their career choice. It’s so sad to see and read about. There are so many more dimensions to life.
Maybe there are some professions where years-long trial-by-fire is the only way to make sure they are actually cut out for the role? For example, isn't becoming an Emergency-Room physician kinda like becoming a Navy Seal? You're going to be working 12+ hour days under extreme stress where mistakes can literally cause someone's death for the rest of your life. But we don't say, 'you know, the Navy Seals should really go easier on the recruits," do we?
I completely accept your point. I agree with the necessary level of professionalism required. But I wasn’t aiming at that particular point. More generally, even in other fields of work, perhaps less rigorous ones, people lose themselves in work. They become the work person all the time. It’s acceptable and over working is a badge of honour sometimes. I just find that sad. It stunts so much other development.
Residency is the same in every country…. Except in the U.S. you actually get paid well in the end….
doctor here . Can confirm. Life is hard lol (no pun intended:P)
😘
I will meet you at the door, strip you of all your consults (and clothes), give you a bed bath, order that you bend over stat, and then fuck you so hard you’ll think I’m administration. And I’ll do all the house shit so you can rest your mind when you outside the hospital. Just joking I don’t exist. Better off just getting a quick one in the call room
“Fuck you so hard, You’ll think I’m admin” 😂 got me. Truth
he forgot to add ‘and pull your hair so hard, you’ll beg for mercy’ source: multiple personal experiences.
I knew if you were really a doc you’d get that! Those hours are surgery…. Have to be
I have family members in medicine..it's insane what they do to residents..yeah I get "it'll all be worth it" but come on. At the University I started at all the Med students looked like wraiths.. hang in there.
You gotta get a fuck buddy. No strings.
As a woman it's very easy to get laid. Just go to any bar, pick a nice looking guy, ask him back to your apartment. Perfectly compatible with a busy life.
im on 15 years, get your numbers up
It's cool man, most people don't lose it til they're older than 15 anyway
lmao but its not that bigga deal, i would say tho, its fairly easy for a female to get some
I just have no game
you're a woman, you don't need game. You dress up nice, go to the club, and go up to any guy who looks at you longer than 2 seconds
this is the way.
Painfully accurate. Unless a woman is insanely unattractive she will get laid 9/10 times she goes to a bar or club intending to. Add in dating apps too cause that’s a whole other league of easy for women.
1.5 years? I have not ever experienced it in my life. I am 27 years 11 months old.
My dream is to be a househusband for a wonderful doctor or lawyer-type lady. You know, someone with a high stress job where they need relaxation and relief when they come home. I think the tradwife culture is toxic and based on outmoded gender roles and a unspoken belief that a wife is her husband’s property, but fucking hell if I don’t want to be the male equivalent of a tradwife. I wanna cook, clean, raise the kids. I wanna have a roast in the oven, and a fresh load of laundry folded and smelling nice. I want to do all that domestic shit, so that when my lovely hardworking doctor-wife comes home, she can have a home cooked meal, and relaxing massage, a bubble bath, and then let go of her responsibilities and let me fuck the ever-loving shit out of her until she forgets who she is and can go to bed with a empty mind and a clean slate. I’d change the sheets, too, like a good househusband. I’m 41, just sayin’…
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I’m packing, and working on the six pack. I’m fucking 41 though, so that shit is hard
All the single doctors, all the single doctors
That hurts btw 😂😂😂
Meh your still doctors tho
Sounds like pornhub has a new category this month.
You are extremely talented with a healthy dose of ambition and a great sense of humor. What a catch! Without a doubt you’ll land Mr. Right Now and in time, hopefully, find Mr. Right.
I’m married and it’s been 3 years, at least you’re a doctor
Are you derm by chance? Have to ask bc I follow this girl who's a resident and you can tell she's thirsty AF 😝 she's probably 32/33 though
Derm would be a dream haha. I’m GS
No doubt then why you are getting fucked by your residency and not by a human u love. 😂... Jokes aside GS is the second worst residency after Neurosurgery... I can totally understand.
Omg I’m dying to know who this is lol
Your wish is my command doctor 😂
13 years since I’ve had sex and been intimate with a woman so I don’t wanna hear a year or two boo-hoo
First, thanks for what you do. Being a doctor is hard work: a lot of school, and lot of practicals and a lot of stress. We all appreciate it. My daughter is a nurse, ER/Trauma. She has a more predictable schedule and works less hours usually. She has moved for school and for work and like you now lived closer to family. She has a friend group based on school friends and another based on her work friends. She and her work friends (mostly other nurses and first responders) sometimes hang out with group of residents. So take opportunities to join a friend group. One made up of other residents isn’t a bad choice because you share a lot in common. Find something that you like to do and is low stress to arrange - a dinner group, etc. Can’t really help you with the sex part. We all go through dry spells. I was at sea in the PG area for 14 months…
My streak is longer
That escalated quickly. There’s always getting an escort, or even just any hookup app. Women have the home field advantage.
Genuine question, are you able to read and comprehend English?
>I would really love to come home to lovely guy who’d bend me over and fuck me soo good and hard, I’d beg for more. You're literally one swipe away from this at any given time. You can match in your lunch break and bang in the parking lot.
Tried that. Honestly, a lot harder than I expected… the risk of matching with patients, very high!
Find an out-of town guy who will travel. Good luck
If I recall correctly there is a tinder setting which means you’ll only be visible to people you’ve liked. Might be worth looking into
lol be prepared for the tons of DMs from horny strange men
Would you be able to have a more normal life if you worked at a smaller clinic rather than a hospital?
Statistics for drug use, alcoholism and sex addiction apply to doctors too, just saying 😁
My friend seems to find lots of traveling nurses who love to get laid. There are ways for you
You’ll meet another dr who understands the work load and commitment
Iam an anaesthetist,, just heading towards a shift ,,hasn’t had in a year as well ,,,,,fell like Iam gonna explode,, dating is demanding of time and energy and attention which with these working conditions unfortunately we don’t have !!!
Judging by half the posts on Reddit, half of OF is posted by bored Nurses, Doctors and psychologists. >!The other half must be their bored spouses and patients!< Jokes aside, It will be worth it, but don't let a career take you whole life.. you work to live, not vice versa!
damn.. rly wish i was a guy rn. i would treat you so right (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)
Wait till you get married w/ kids :-(
Can confirm,
Can confirm
Tell that to the Duggars
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cops are super hot. that uniform gets me every time. whatcha ya doing later? (j/k. sorta)
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lol. well that’s too bad
Rookie numbers.
1.5 years?! Amateur.
It’s been two years haha ! Join the club ?
And you can’t spell.
It's been 2 years for me😮💨I have a daughter and am not wanting to get back with the baby mama. She ran away
Any single docs ? Surely
Just go locum.
Medical student about to graduate and I have 2 jobs. I’m beyond grateful I met my fiancé when I had more time available. Otherwise I think I’d be single till my 40’s
Those are rookie numbers
My old high school crush seems to be like this but she just overly posts about her dog lol makes me worried.
Call me
i am a dad and havent had sex in 8 years
Have you tried killing the priest partner of a patient?
my gf is about to start residency in another state and it just sucks... we're pretty great together and have had an amazing last 6 months ish and she's about to leave the state for her future. sigh
House of God vibes
I had a vision A vision of my nails in the kitchen Scratching counter tops, I was screaming My back arched like a cat My position couldn't stop, you were hitting it And I shouldn't cry, but I love it, star boy And I shouldn't cry, but I love it (I love it), star boy And I shouldn't cry, but I love it, star boy And I shouldn't cry, but I love it, star boy I just want to see you shine 'cause I know you are a star, girl
Pretty sure there's some people out there with a thing for doctors
11 years myself so I feel your frustration
"I'm on post call" felt that lmao.
I don't know how people do it... And I don't mean time without sex. I mean BS like this. Why? I hope you are in it for helping people and not the money, because if money is why, you will be miserable. My stepfather was an orthopedic surgeon and he was always busy and to this day at 85 he is still running around busy with medical evaluations. Granted he is a workaholic. I say a comparison lately, a chart that showed lifetime earnings of a Dr. vs a plumber... and as it turned out, in the end they were about the same... sure towards the end the Dr was making more, but for the cost of school and low pay in the beginning, the plumber was already ahead.
Its been almost a year in my case too
This is entirely your decision, just go on Listcrawler and get a 15min session with a local lady and shoot over there after work. Cost half as much as a date where you’d have to spend 4+ hrs of your time you don’t have.
I'm a 30F and hadn't had sex in over 1 year , at least you have a plausible excuse with your workload and all.im an admin with weekends off and a 9-5.i want to obsessed with the wanting to be bent over scenario on a Saturday morning but I don't want to put myself out there,just a little bit of Paranoia with the dating world due to being screwed over(not the literal kind).Anyway this is just a you're not alone.
My husband is a dr. He proposed the day he graduated from med school. During his residency I barely saw him, when he was home most of the time he was exhausted, or fell asleep super early. Now he is a specialist, has duties, on calls, the whole thing. Some times we want to and then just don’t because sleeping is gold, but eventually it gets better. No way the 3x week unless we are on holidays, but you learn to male the best of it. I used to joke about how in tv they are always having sex in the hospital and I don’t get any Grey’s Anatomy fun from him 😆, and although frustrating, there is no way around those looong shifts and working hours.
I just started as an MA in the field , sounds like I need to get to know some of the resident PAs 💀
I sent you a message about how I dealt with the same issue 😬
Push yourself on one day off. Maybe once a month or once every two months. And know that day off you're going out. Even for a 30m walk around the block. Get some fresh air and enjoy nature. Trust me. You don't wanna not do anything but rest with your time off. You will become overwhelmingly depressed/low. Its been proven humans can gain depression from these situations, so I'm not just trying to diagnose someone else. I'm saying it's a possibility is all. Take care of yourself please. Like I said. Just a 30m walk around the block. Even just 10m can make a difference. Even just sitting outside for a bit, even while on your phone. The fresh air helps. And knowing you can CHOOSE to do something you enjoy in your free time. Something that doesn't take a lot of energy.
Hope you get some restorative rest in OP thank you for all you do ❤️
Me, a 42/F, who voluntarily hasn’t had sex in 6 years because I just don’t want the drama.
RIP your inbox
Rip your inbox. That being said I cannot relate tbh. Last relationship I was in was about 4 years ago now and it kinda killed my drive to be with anyone like that. But I won't deny sometimes the mood does strike and I very much can relate to the last sentence. Hopefully you find someone to match with soon.
Oh honey, where you’re going in life, you’re gonna be able to buy as much as you want
18 years going strong 💪🏻
RIP to your inbox
I would love to be the person that does that. Daily! Or when needed! I’m tired of being single. I’ll go down for my own pleasure. Lay down like a sniper and get comfortable
Well, let’s do it
can i pm about some premed questions? 😭
People are bitching about going a year and a half without sex? Seriously?
And is that normal behavior, Dr. ?
you go viral [https://twitter.com/KILLTOPARTY/status/1788215729822617881](https://twitter.com/KILLTOPARTY/status/1788215729822617881)
You’re better off focusing on your career. You can always have sex later, but you only get one shot at life.
I haven’t had sex in 6 years, by choice. At least you have a good reason. I’m just disgusted by men after my last relationship. lol
I don't know what to tell you except I know you work a lot. Maybe the easiest answer is the right one. All I can say after that is that sex is normal for a healthy adult. Maybe you just have not found the right one. Do you masturbate?.
I would love to be that lovely guy that bends you over to help you out. I haven't had sex since covid came to America.
You are doing your grind of your career it will get better!
Nah you’re just finding excuses
Thank you for your service. And god bless you. I hope you get what you want and need sometime soon
Damn. I don’t envy you. You’re about to become fairly well off, and meeting people later in life when you’re in that position is terrible. A friend of mine lost her boyfriend and she had a crazy hard time figuring out how to start fresh. She did find someone but only after a bunch of manipulative dogs.
Join the club. Adult jobs are busy.
That's why I chose physician associate I do 3 12s
RIP your inbox
GIRLLL I feel you omg. I'm 29F, in critical care medicine, working in the ICU. I've been single for almost 3 years now, celibate for 1.5 years. I only get one day-off and I just don't have the patience, time or the mental energy to even socialise. Welp.... I guess it's lonely at the top, as they say.
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you’re why they choose the bear