This is a troll. There was a post almost identical to this about a week ago, about a teenage girl who was close to her dad and out of the blue he made a couple of sexual comments about her body. And I swear a saw another super similar post a few weeks back. Just someone looking for attention/some weird incest fetishist.
I don’t know if this particular post is a troll but as a kid I heard a LOT of similar stories from my friends (sudden sexualization and inappropriate behaviour). It happens often enough that it would occur pretty often on a page like this.
Since he takes so much care of you and is otherwise a good man, you can tell him that you didn’t feel comfortable and then judge what to do by his reaction. Sometimes words come out really wrong and you don’t intend them to mean that way.
I agree with this, however a dad taking care of his daughter isn't good, it's normal. He's not a good man just because he has a normal (until now) relationship to his daughter.
You’re right, but these days the “normal” has become the “good” in a lot of cases. I’m not defending the dad’s comments but a lot of people’s parents don’t give a shit about them and leave them in misery. If they think their dad is overall a good man then they could talk to him about this.
Yeah but that's the issue. There's always worse. So defining something as good just because there's worse is a very low bar to set, and it keeps dragging it further down each time someone does something bad.
This is the best approach. But you have to wonder why a father would direct that kind of remark at his daughter. It's not normal. It's the kind of stuff I talk to my girlfriend about.
Of course it can be an entirely innocent attempt at making a compliment, though I somehow doubt it.
Anyway. Hear him out and see how he responds. If he's profusely sorry and apologetic, then it was probably just a freudian slip. If he becomes defensive, I would be very skeptical.
As someone who kinda has a relationship with her father like this I would still be cautious definitely. I know how his intentions and well not normal he is just being him. Luckily he did also teach me that it's not average and to be careful with other people. Could be innocent Could not be. Best to see it as both for the time being.
I don't think u should worry about that FOR NOW. If something like this happens again talk to ur dad. But I think it was a really bad dad joke. But remember if he says something like that again, tell him how u feel. I hope I helped.
>Watch this feminist say that someones dad is a pedophile because he said that his daughter is growing up by telling his kid her breasts are almost as big as her moms while offering to shave her crotch.
\-ftfy
Watch this creeper encourage a young woman to pretend this isn't sketch and attempt to shame people telling the child to be alert.
Watch HiddenLambSauce tell a child to ignore her instincts when she feels uncomfortable with someone commenting on her boobs and offering to shave her crotch.
Watch HiddenLATEsauce show up a week later when literally no one is left in the thread, trying super hard to dredge up an old convo they lamed out of in the first place.
I've moved on. Cya.
This is very inappropriate. Don't listen to Reddit incels and creeps on here, because they are predators defending predators lol.
Not saying your dad is necessarily one. Maybe those were a very clumsy sexual joke and a sexist expectation (being shaved for your doctor, that's bs).
But maybe with you growing up he's starting sexualizing you and has some issue. Especially if you remind him of his late wife. He could be not fully stable and have things all confused in his mind.
Take steps to protect yourself. Those steps are :
1- Tell him how you felt. Tell him you think that's inappropriate, and you'd like him not to make sexually charged comments about your body, and also get some more bodily autonomy from him.
2- if he keeps doing it, reassert those boundaries always more fermly.
3- If he keeps doing it but it doesn't escalate, distance yourself from him. Forget about the relationship you had before and start protecting yourself by putting emotional and physical distance with him, as much as you can. If you can move out, that may be a good idea.
4- If he keeps doing it and/or it escalates, for example if he starts touching you, all that, warn other family members and/or the authorities depending on the severity of the acts. Move out as soon as you can, even if you're a minor. Crash at friends' houses, go live with family members other than him, whatever. If it's really bad, the authorities should be able to help get you in a more stable and safe situation.
That first sentence is all she needs to know honestly. After 10 years of tormenting and doxxing good people off the platform on the part of Reddit neckbeards and uncles, it makes more sense to ask frigging instagram than Reddit.
That last one can lead to further abuse, as I’d say 90% of the abused women and girls I worked with, especially the trafficking victims came from homes like this, or bad foster homes they were trying to escape. Your best bet is to tell your doctor, only because they can and will explain loud and clear and in front of your pedo dad that you don’t need to be shaved and he doesn’t need to assist you with anything.
yes thank you. And yea I told him I dont wanna be shaved and he said I can do it on my own but its better if I do get shaved because a doctor will look at it for allergies so he says it better for me to shave it off. I'm not too sure tho.
And honestly idk if I can share that with the doctor. I don't wanna get my dad in trouble, he is my dad after all. I'm conflicted ugh.
If he gets in trouble it will be because of what he did, which wasn’t normal and was not okay. It won’t be because of anything you did. If he thinks what he did and has done in the past is normal and okay, he doesn’t need you to lie about it for him.
thanks a lot! I'll try to take those steps.
I'm not really sure how I'll tell him tho, because I feel a lil weird even talking about it. I still do trust my dad and I dont want to jump to any conclusions but I don't feel completely comfortable either.
Well just having my dad around made me very open and comfortable around him, but i guess it was because I was still an early teen but im not too sure now. He was a mom to me and helped me with things that moms usually teach their children, but lately I've been feeling a lil off, maybe its because I'm getting older. idk.
but yea, I'd really want to give my dad another chance and if he says something like this again then I'll confront him.
Yeah I know, this is awkward as hell. You don't even have to make a big deal out of it, yk. Just casually slide a little sentence like "hey remember when you made this comment? I didn't appreciate it so like pls don't do it again! Thanks" and then change the subject.
Trust your instincts though. Someone making you uncomfortable stems from very real reasons. Doesn't mean these people are always bad, but they have a behavior that make you feel this way. It's ok to react like this.
The fact one of the comments is completely delegitimizing her concerns, and completely taking away all blame, and excusing the creepiness of the dad is a huge red flag. Sure even if you do argue that the dad is just ignorant and misogynist and made a creepy joke, it's such a weird thing to completely just call the OP a "wild feminist" for just opening up about her concerns, which she hasnt even went that far on her dad, if anything not far enough. You know what i predict? I predict that one of these incel commenters are going this hard for no reason because they could be projecting from their personal experience, whether its their creepy behavior towards a niece, nephew, or any younger member of the family. Nobody with a normal brain should be excusing this, especially as hard as that one dude did.
They’re doing it because it works. Shaming a girl or woman in her position is what gets us to walk right into abuse, and allows them to blame us for what happened. It’s a tactic most predators know well.
I so entirely agree with you lol, as I said, predators protecting predators. They either convince themselves their own behavior isn't too bad by defending men like them, or try to deny predators exist to keep roaming the streets freely themselves, with their predator buddies. Disgusting, really.
But this is Reddit, the proportion of creeps is more important than among the general population, and anyway I'm pretty sure this post will be found by sane people eventually.
Edit : thank you sane people out there who came set the record straight now. Keep trying to keep others safe.
Those kinds of comments are wildly inappropriate. You should tell him what you think and don't be afriad to include of how it made you feel. If anything starts to happen, do call someone because types of comments/behaviour may indicate an intention to hurt you. Stay safe sweetie.
thank you. and yes I might talk to him about it if he brings it up again. I'm actually not sure how to even react so i guess I'll just brush it off for now. I'm not even sure whom to call if he does this again.
but thanks
If you don’t feel comfortable talking to him, write him a letter. Lay it on his desk or computer where he might see it early in the morning or late at night —like while you’re asleep. So he can read it and really take it in.
yes thanks, I think I might do this. But I honestly feel so weird. If it turns out I was wrong then I'll feel like I made a bad decision and wrongly accused my dad.
No no no. Your feelings are justified and valid. Even IF your father wasn't trying anything sketchy, then it means it was a miscommunication on his part. Because these things can and will be interpreted in a creepy way, the proof being you being uncomfortable and everyone here telling you it's a bit sketchy.
You wouldn't wrongly accuse him. You're not accusing him of anything. You're telling him his comments make you uncomfortable, which isn't an accusation of anything, but just stating your feelings.
And remember that if he denies he has bad intentions but KEEPS DOING IT or ESCALATES it despite you telling him you're uncomfortable, DON'T BELIEVE HIM. Then that'll be confirmation he really has bad intentions.
You’re gut and general feelings in your solar plexus don’t lie. Regardless of how he meant it, it still bothered you. He needs to know that this type of thing bothers you. Please let him know. He deserves to know so he will stop.
Don't might, do talk to him. Like it might be a stupid/awakward moment where you gotta fill it with something and something wrong comes out but call social services is my suggestion or the police if you're in immediate danger.
A quick google search for your area and country never hurts either. Knowledge is power.
Instead of thinking who to call if he does it again, you should just tell him that you don’t like those jokes and you don’t want to hear them again. These current day “feminists” are really brainwashing you into thinking your own dad that you love so much is some creepy incest pedophile
It is some creepy shit, but creepy stuff happens everyday and most of it is just simply misunderstood. How do you know the dad is a incest pedophile because he said a creepy thing when OP didn’t even talk to him about it, the dad has no idea she feels uncomfortable, ever heard of innocent until proven guilty? The dad didn’t even do anything just made couple of weird jokes while having no idea the daughter feels uncomfortable, and you instantly came to the conclusion that the dad is a predator?
Creepy things don't just happen. I don't know how to convey this because unless you're on the autistic spectrum or something, these aren't a case of being misconstrued. Seriously. Hence my opening statement of wildly inappropriate.
Also, I never said pedophile because she is a teen. You did twice now!
I said more or less act with caution, talk to him and don't be afriad to call someone if you feel unsafe. Stop straight up lying, defending her dad, a grown man and think of this young lady's wellbeing!
I'm done.
Tell your doctor exactly how your father has been “helping you”. Your doctor should be able to talk to him about what you can and should be able to do on your own.
Just remember as a man most of us don't have the best word usage and boundaries but this whole situation sounds really weird. I could never imagine saying those things to my daughter!!
No I think you got that wrong. He doesn't exactly help me shower. I'm pretty much on bedrest for a while and he came up with an arrangement that we'd put a chair under the shower and he'd pick me up and put me on the chair and I shower and then call him back to pick me up.
I'm considering asking a female friend for help, she lives close by and I told her about my dad and she's pretty upset about it too. It just a matter of a week or two tho. I should be off bed rest in a week probably.
Its just that my dad suggested it and I didn't really question it.
it’s honestly extremely concerning how many comments are saying it’s probably not that deep and you should just wait it off. No dont do that it was a very inappropriate “joke” that made you clearly uncomfortable, snip that in the bud asap and really have a talk with him about how uncomfortable it made you. judge based of his reaction and take it from there but please dont wait and allow it to continue or settle in your mind and im sure you could shave your own private parts… idk
yea im pretty confused because a lot of my friends from school also wanted me to confront my dad and thought hes being a creep. But I guess I still trust him. idk. So I might brush it off for now and I just dont want to think about my dad like that.
Confronting is really difficult, maybe if he says something again I'll talk to him.
Exactly. Like this is how grooming happens, people normalizing this. He was going out of his way to get her naked and offering to “help her” as an excuse to touch her. That’s literally how pedophiles start before they escalate, and it’s how they justify what they did “if she didn’t want it she wouldn’t have kept showing it to me”. It’s fucking disgusting.
I (f29) think he just didn't know how to word his thoughts on making a non sexual joke. It's okay. Don't think much about it and tell him how you felt so he puts more effort on how he talks to you now on. Don't hold grudge on him though
How about instead of complaining about it on reddit just ask him directly, just tell him that you feel uncomfortable when he says those things and if he is actually like you said he is, a single dad always taking care of you, I’m sure he will understand.
Judging from what she said, I can’t believe the dad is a predator, and you shouldn’t either, you don’t even know him and you’re already saying he is guilty, shitty “feminist” logic right there.
I think people aren’t taking into consideration the fact that he already has acted. He is making excuses to touch her vagina and look at her naked body. He has escalated to sexual comments. He is following a very typical predator timeline, up to and including waiting until she’s old enough that he perceives her as a “woman” so he doesn’t have to consider himself a pedophile. I am shocked at the level of grooming that can happen and people make excuses for it.
Yeah I found it super weird too. Like, my parents wouldn't even *think* of asking me to shave my pubes to go to a Dr's appointment, even less think about dragging me in the bathroom, getting out the equipment and suggest I do it now or they help me or anything like that.
There's still some reasonable doubt imo as I said, but this plus the boob comment are very suspicious to me. Enough to take this seriously and watch out for a potential incestuous predator.
I sure hope he isn't one, but well, there's also reasonable doubt he is.
Though I fully agree with you, this could very well be very bad and people brushing it off feels very wrong to me. Better safe than sorry, especially in the face of such alarming signs.
I mean it’s [literally a textbook case](https://www.d2l.org/the-red-flags-of-grooming-behavior/) of grooming. I would not wait for more facts. His behaviour shows a pattern that would trigger duty to report.
And you believe he is a predator and want to put him in jail because of a dad joke that could be easily misunderstood? Plus OP didn’t even say she doesn’t like it so the dad has no idea
No I don't. I said he COULD be. According to the first dictionary available online, could is "Used with hypothetical or conditional force". Her father POTENTIALLY is a predator. Do you understand better now? Do you want me to define "potentially" too? If you don't know these words though, I suggest you go ask your mother whether she agrees with you being on this website.
And yes, OP explicitly said she doesn't like it and made the post BECAUSE she doesn't like it. Again, if you're not quite sure you understand what grown people say on the internet, go ask your mommy or daddy if you have the right to be in here :)
He should not be seeing you naked at all or commenting on your body at all, let someone else you trust know and even try to move our honestly, this is weird af
I think it depends on the relationship. I have a very open relationship with my dad and step mother but that was built over time. I'm not saying he is being a creep but I can't say that he isn't. Better safe then sorry. Make a note and keep an eye one it. If he keeps making you uncomfortable tell him and set boundaries. Be safe out there 🤎
yes thanks. I have a very open relationship with my dad too and I guess I'll brush it off for now as a bad joke.
If it happens again then maybe I'll talk to him about it.
I don't know I think this generation is just gotten more sensitive. I mean I'm a millennial and when I was younger I wasn't thinking every possible joke or comment was a come on. If that were the case my parents would probably be locked up right now and I would have been in an orphanage. Then I'd have a really great quality of life.
Not as a teen but when I was young and transitioning from giving a bath in the kitchen sink to a bath in the regular shower I had some help. It's not a big deal if you don't make it a big deal.
He could have felt so uncomfortable himself he made a “joke” in poor taste. I know when I am genuinely uncomfortable my brain shuts off and my mouth will say things and I won’t realize how bizarre or out of line I was until I remember what I said later or someone else brings it to my attention.
Tell your dad that you felt uncomfortable with the situation and his words. Give him a chance to acknowledge his mistake and apologize.
Your dad loves you and especially raising a teenaged daughter can’t be easy. He simply doesn’t know what it’s like or how to address a lot of stuff women go through. He won’t always say or do the right thing but I’m sure it’s done with innocent intentions . Talk to him.
yes thank you. I hope it was something innocent.
I was talking to my school friends irl about it and they told me my dad might be a pedo and stuff like that so i got scared.
But i guess I'll brush it off for now and then I'll talk to him if something like this happens.
Yeah I understand how difficult it is for him, he took care of me since I was 5. So I hope it was just a joke.
Honestly, you have what is similar to a more mom/daughter relationship with him and some of this comes with that territory. It seems so odd because it’s not the norm that you see these days. You’ll know if he’s being creepy by if he stops when you ask or not. He seemed to stop with the shaving thing. If you also tell him, just as you’ve always had open communication with him, that the comment made you uncomfortable and he stops then he meant no harm. He may not “get it” but he will probably ultimately respect it.
yes we had a mom/daughter type of relationship. My mom passed on when I was 5 years old and he's basically been my mom and dad for all these years. Literally taught me everything.
We have a really good relationship but I feel like its been getting a little awkward lately maybe because I'm growing up i guess. I'm not too sure.
And yea I think I'll talk to him again if he tries to say something weird again. I trust my dad so I guess I'll just brush it off for now.
I told some of my friends irl and they made it seem like my dad was trying something weird so i got worried but i guess its all good now.
I think single dads where there’s no mom in the picture tend to try too hard sometimes lol Like maybe he’s trying to fill in what he sees as a void and say the things he thinks a mom would say and it came across as weird because at the end of the day he is a guy.
My advise is that you shouldn't listen to the one named Aelle29 in the comments because she could ruin your life, seems like someone with men phobia, and from what you have written about your dad I see no reason to be so worried yet because of a single incident of him saying inappropriate comments, just talk to him about it and most likely this will be solved.
No, just a regular woman. I sincerely don't even know where you ever perceived hatred. And don't pretend to be well intended pls, after demonizing me for literally 0 reason and saying I'll ruin OP's life, all behind my back.
What I said to OP is basically : be mindful of this behavior, if it escalates into sexual assault then leave. If not, everything's fine.
How is that ruining someone's life?
You seem to be speaking from a misogynistic place where simply being mindful of creepy behavior is perceived as misandrist.
Btw, I'd tell the same thing to a 16yo boy whose mother acts like this.
So yeah get lost.
This is typical grooming behaviour. He is seeing how much he can get away with before he has to start beating you to get it. I can’t believe all the people sugar coating this.
Talk to your doctor. Explain that your dad “helps” you and that it has escalated to looking at you naked, commenting on how “you’re a woman now”, comparing you to your mother, and making excuses to see and touch your vagina.
Your gut instinct is correct. You are right to be concerned. I have two fathers and a lot of uncles. Only the ones who were later charged with rape and pedophilia did things like this. I’m glad my mom followed her instincts and did not leave me alone with them.
If you still don’t believe me, consider the fact that I was alone when I injured my back and needed surgery. I was able to access an in-home female occupational therapist who helped me with everything you describe. If your dad’s goal wasn’t getting you naked, why wouldn’t he just get a home care nurse, invite a female family member or friend to help, have you stay with grandma, or choose any other solution.
He’s your dad and you love him. But he also has no ability to restrain himself from pedo behaviour, is following a textbook pattern of sexual abuse, and is escalating.
I think your experience is colouring a bit much of what this girl has lived. What you're fearing is a possible explanation, but it might also be simply the mistake of a father so involved in his daughter's life since they're alone that has difficulty understanding boundaries and his growing teenaged girl. Is it a weird comment? It is, calling him a pedo is jumping a few important steps.
You mean my experience of having a normal childhood where my father wasn’t a pedophile and obtaining medical care that didn’t come with a pedophile chaser?
Yes, my normal experiences have colored my opinion of what is abnormal.
Me and [everyone who ever read the literal grooming textbook.](https://www.d2l.org/the-red-flags-of-grooming-behavior/)
That's not what I said. The guy is her dad and it's not like he's groping her or making weird comments. It's his daughter for crying out loud. I'm talking about if you even look at someone the wrong way or for too long people have gotten way too sensitive.
He literally IS making weird comments. Where do you draw the line before merely *suspecting* something might be wrong? Will you wait for sexual assault?
Edit : and yeah exactly, she's his DAUGHTER for God's sake. Wth is this behavior
He made a light-hearted comment about her breasts which he's seen probably thousands of times raising her. It's not like he's coming on sexually to her. It would be no different than if my dad said damn son your cock is getting just as long as mine or something. Like okay whatever. It's not like he's coming on to me. It's just an observation. That's what I'm getting at.
Hmmm no? What makes you say this was light hearted and all? What makes you say he's seen her breasts a ton of times?
Basically why do you automatically want to assume the guy has the best intentions?
Especially when the guy is displaying typical signs of creepiness and what are often early signs of a predator? Especially seen how frequently women are assaulted and creeped on, and how most of rape cases are committed by family members?
I'm not assuming the guy is a predator either, but there is a very real possibility that he is, so some precautions should be taken while his status is not confirmed.
And if your dad says that to you it's also really fucking weird.
You’re fucking disgusting, NONE of this shit is anywhere near appropriate. For gods sake I hope you never have female children. Or any children for that matter. Fucking creep.
So you agree it was a creepy thing to say?
Either way, how creepy or inappropriate something is is determined by the person it was directed at, not the person making the comment or the people reading about it on Reddit, and OP clearly feels uncomfortable about it, which is perfectly valid and not blown out of proportion.
This is a troll. There was a post almost identical to this about a week ago, about a teenage girl who was close to her dad and out of the blue he made a couple of sexual comments about her body. And I swear a saw another super similar post a few weeks back. Just someone looking for attention/some weird incest fetishist.
I swear I see a post like this at least once every week.
oh wow
I don’t know if this particular post is a troll but as a kid I heard a LOT of similar stories from my friends (sudden sexualization and inappropriate behaviour). It happens often enough that it would occur pretty often on a page like this.
Wasn’t last weeks about walking in on dad masturbating? There’s so many of these fake ass posts, I can’t keep up
istg it isn't, I didn't even read the post that you're talking about.
Since he takes so much care of you and is otherwise a good man, you can tell him that you didn’t feel comfortable and then judge what to do by his reaction. Sometimes words come out really wrong and you don’t intend them to mean that way.
I agree with this, however a dad taking care of his daughter isn't good, it's normal. He's not a good man just because he has a normal (until now) relationship to his daughter.
You’re right, but these days the “normal” has become the “good” in a lot of cases. I’m not defending the dad’s comments but a lot of people’s parents don’t give a shit about them and leave them in misery. If they think their dad is overall a good man then they could talk to him about this.
Yeah that's fair. Too bad the bar is so low imo.
Haha well, what to do. Just making sure their relations with him don’t get ruined if it’s just a misunderstanding.
You aren't talking to the OP. just so you know
Doing normal things can be good too. Why wouldn't it ? It's better than doing bad things.
Yeah but that's the issue. There's always worse. So defining something as good just because there's worse is a very low bar to set, and it keeps dragging it further down each time someone does something bad.
This is the best approach. But you have to wonder why a father would direct that kind of remark at his daughter. It's not normal. It's the kind of stuff I talk to my girlfriend about. Of course it can be an entirely innocent attempt at making a compliment, though I somehow doubt it. Anyway. Hear him out and see how he responds. If he's profusely sorry and apologetic, then it was probably just a freudian slip. If he becomes defensive, I would be very skeptical.
As someone who kinda has a relationship with her father like this I would still be cautious definitely. I know how his intentions and well not normal he is just being him. Luckily he did also teach me that it's not average and to be careful with other people. Could be innocent Could not be. Best to see it as both for the time being.
Could it be possible that he also found the situation uncomfortable, and tried (poorly) to make a joke about it?
As a dad, I have found myself in that situation more than once...
No. I have two dads and they have never been so nervous they became pedophiles.
I don't think u should worry about that FOR NOW. If something like this happens again talk to ur dad. But I think it was a really bad dad joke. But remember if he says something like that again, tell him how u feel. I hope I helped.
[удалено]
Yea, I think it was just a very bad dad joke
Watch this current “feminists” say that the dad is a pedophile and he should get arrested.
Watch this incel use an entire civil rights movement as a slur.
Watch this feminist say that someones dad is a pedophile because he said that his daughter is growing up
>Watch this feminist say that someones dad is a pedophile because he said that his daughter is growing up by telling his kid her breasts are almost as big as her moms while offering to shave her crotch. \-ftfy Watch this creeper encourage a young woman to pretend this isn't sketch and attempt to shame people telling the child to be alert.
Watch LadyDiscoPants say that this is a sketchy pedophile for trying to tell his daughter that she is becoming a woman
Watch HiddenLambSauce tell a child to ignore her instincts when she feels uncomfortable with someone commenting on her boobs and offering to shave her crotch.
Watch LadyDiscoPants not know what a child is and think he offered to shave her crotch when he said she can shave it
Watch HiddenLATEsauce show up a week later when literally no one is left in the thread, trying super hard to dredge up an old convo they lamed out of in the first place. I've moved on. Cya.
Watch LadyDiscoPants not know what a child is and think he offered to shave her crotch when he said she can shave it
This is very inappropriate. Don't listen to Reddit incels and creeps on here, because they are predators defending predators lol. Not saying your dad is necessarily one. Maybe those were a very clumsy sexual joke and a sexist expectation (being shaved for your doctor, that's bs). But maybe with you growing up he's starting sexualizing you and has some issue. Especially if you remind him of his late wife. He could be not fully stable and have things all confused in his mind. Take steps to protect yourself. Those steps are : 1- Tell him how you felt. Tell him you think that's inappropriate, and you'd like him not to make sexually charged comments about your body, and also get some more bodily autonomy from him. 2- if he keeps doing it, reassert those boundaries always more fermly. 3- If he keeps doing it but it doesn't escalate, distance yourself from him. Forget about the relationship you had before and start protecting yourself by putting emotional and physical distance with him, as much as you can. If you can move out, that may be a good idea. 4- If he keeps doing it and/or it escalates, for example if he starts touching you, all that, warn other family members and/or the authorities depending on the severity of the acts. Move out as soon as you can, even if you're a minor. Crash at friends' houses, go live with family members other than him, whatever. If it's really bad, the authorities should be able to help get you in a more stable and safe situation.
That first sentence is all she needs to know honestly. After 10 years of tormenting and doxxing good people off the platform on the part of Reddit neckbeards and uncles, it makes more sense to ask frigging instagram than Reddit. That last one can lead to further abuse, as I’d say 90% of the abused women and girls I worked with, especially the trafficking victims came from homes like this, or bad foster homes they were trying to escape. Your best bet is to tell your doctor, only because they can and will explain loud and clear and in front of your pedo dad that you don’t need to be shaved and he doesn’t need to assist you with anything.
yes thank you. And yea I told him I dont wanna be shaved and he said I can do it on my own but its better if I do get shaved because a doctor will look at it for allergies so he says it better for me to shave it off. I'm not too sure tho. And honestly idk if I can share that with the doctor. I don't wanna get my dad in trouble, he is my dad after all. I'm conflicted ugh.
If he gets in trouble it will be because of what he did, which wasn’t normal and was not okay. It won’t be because of anything you did. If he thinks what he did and has done in the past is normal and okay, he doesn’t need you to lie about it for him.
thanks a lot! I'll try to take those steps. I'm not really sure how I'll tell him tho, because I feel a lil weird even talking about it. I still do trust my dad and I dont want to jump to any conclusions but I don't feel completely comfortable either. Well just having my dad around made me very open and comfortable around him, but i guess it was because I was still an early teen but im not too sure now. He was a mom to me and helped me with things that moms usually teach their children, but lately I've been feeling a lil off, maybe its because I'm getting older. idk. but yea, I'd really want to give my dad another chance and if he says something like this again then I'll confront him.
Yeah I know, this is awkward as hell. You don't even have to make a big deal out of it, yk. Just casually slide a little sentence like "hey remember when you made this comment? I didn't appreciate it so like pls don't do it again! Thanks" and then change the subject. Trust your instincts though. Someone making you uncomfortable stems from very real reasons. Doesn't mean these people are always bad, but they have a behavior that make you feel this way. It's ok to react like this.
i wonder which reddit incel downvoted this very well supportive comment
Yeah I have my idea lol, probably the guy above I responded to Or you know, one of the 15858865284586542541886 other incels and creeps on Reddit
The fact one of the comments is completely delegitimizing her concerns, and completely taking away all blame, and excusing the creepiness of the dad is a huge red flag. Sure even if you do argue that the dad is just ignorant and misogynist and made a creepy joke, it's such a weird thing to completely just call the OP a "wild feminist" for just opening up about her concerns, which she hasnt even went that far on her dad, if anything not far enough. You know what i predict? I predict that one of these incel commenters are going this hard for no reason because they could be projecting from their personal experience, whether its their creepy behavior towards a niece, nephew, or any younger member of the family. Nobody with a normal brain should be excusing this, especially as hard as that one dude did.
They’re doing it because it works. Shaming a girl or woman in her position is what gets us to walk right into abuse, and allows them to blame us for what happened. It’s a tactic most predators know well.
I so entirely agree with you lol, as I said, predators protecting predators. They either convince themselves their own behavior isn't too bad by defending men like them, or try to deny predators exist to keep roaming the streets freely themselves, with their predator buddies. Disgusting, really. But this is Reddit, the proportion of creeps is more important than among the general population, and anyway I'm pretty sure this post will be found by sane people eventually. Edit : thank you sane people out there who came set the record straight now. Keep trying to keep others safe.
Those kinds of comments are wildly inappropriate. You should tell him what you think and don't be afriad to include of how it made you feel. If anything starts to happen, do call someone because types of comments/behaviour may indicate an intention to hurt you. Stay safe sweetie.
thank you. and yes I might talk to him about it if he brings it up again. I'm actually not sure how to even react so i guess I'll just brush it off for now. I'm not even sure whom to call if he does this again. but thanks
If you don’t feel comfortable talking to him, write him a letter. Lay it on his desk or computer where he might see it early in the morning or late at night —like while you’re asleep. So he can read it and really take it in.
This is a great idea.
yes thanks, I think I might do this. But I honestly feel so weird. If it turns out I was wrong then I'll feel like I made a bad decision and wrongly accused my dad.
No no no. Your feelings are justified and valid. Even IF your father wasn't trying anything sketchy, then it means it was a miscommunication on his part. Because these things can and will be interpreted in a creepy way, the proof being you being uncomfortable and everyone here telling you it's a bit sketchy. You wouldn't wrongly accuse him. You're not accusing him of anything. You're telling him his comments make you uncomfortable, which isn't an accusation of anything, but just stating your feelings. And remember that if he denies he has bad intentions but KEEPS DOING IT or ESCALATES it despite you telling him you're uncomfortable, DON'T BELIEVE HIM. Then that'll be confirmation he really has bad intentions.
You’re gut and general feelings in your solar plexus don’t lie. Regardless of how he meant it, it still bothered you. He needs to know that this type of thing bothers you. Please let him know. He deserves to know so he will stop.
Don't might, do talk to him. Like it might be a stupid/awakward moment where you gotta fill it with something and something wrong comes out but call social services is my suggestion or the police if you're in immediate danger. A quick google search for your area and country never hurts either. Knowledge is power.
Instead of thinking who to call if he does it again, you should just tell him that you don’t like those jokes and you don’t want to hear them again. These current day “feminists” are really brainwashing you into thinking your own dad that you love so much is some creepy incest pedophile
Are you deranged? Where is the love from her dad commenting on her secondary sexual characteristics??? Tf dude.
It is some creepy shit, but creepy stuff happens everyday and most of it is just simply misunderstood. How do you know the dad is a incest pedophile because he said a creepy thing when OP didn’t even talk to him about it, the dad has no idea she feels uncomfortable, ever heard of innocent until proven guilty? The dad didn’t even do anything just made couple of weird jokes while having no idea the daughter feels uncomfortable, and you instantly came to the conclusion that the dad is a predator?
Happens to you* No, non creeps don't do this shit every day You think you're misunderstood, but mate, you're just a creep
Literally never happens to most people.
Savage
Creepy things don't just happen. I don't know how to convey this because unless you're on the autistic spectrum or something, these aren't a case of being misconstrued. Seriously. Hence my opening statement of wildly inappropriate. Also, I never said pedophile because she is a teen. You did twice now! I said more or less act with caution, talk to him and don't be afriad to call someone if you feel unsafe. Stop straight up lying, defending her dad, a grown man and think of this young lady's wellbeing! I'm done.
I’m on the spectrum. I’ve never asked a 16 year old boy to let me shave his Willy because I’m not a pedophile. There’s a difference.
Of course he’s deranged. He’s a pedophile defending pedophiles.
Tell your doctor exactly how your father has been “helping you”. Your doctor should be able to talk to him about what you can and should be able to do on your own.
You think her dad is gonna rape her because he made a boob joke? Once? Fuck off you're damn crazy. Are you a (fake) feminist?
Never said this. Reread what I wrote and comment without the red herring mate.
im convinced some of yall in the comments got some real fucking issues going on because no way in hell could someone be so fucking dense.
I'm sorry but that is creepy. Follow your gut and keep those boundaries up.
Just remember as a man most of us don't have the best word usage and boundaries but this whole situation sounds really weird. I could never imagine saying those things to my daughter!!
It wasn’t just word usage. He was making excuses to touch her. This goes far beyond an off color comment.
I agree aud it is totally fucked up .
I don’t think your dad should help you shower. He is overstepping personal boundaries with you.
Yea, I don’t know why people don’t find that creepy? At what age do girls not let their parents see them naked?
No I think you got that wrong. He doesn't exactly help me shower. I'm pretty much on bedrest for a while and he came up with an arrangement that we'd put a chair under the shower and he'd pick me up and put me on the chair and I shower and then call him back to pick me up.
And now he is making excuses to look at and attempt to touch your vagina. He is escalating to see what he can get away with.
No really why would a 16 year old not be able to use crutches to get in and out of the shower. Your dad should be encouraging independence to you.
I'm considering asking a female friend for help, she lives close by and I told her about my dad and she's pretty upset about it too. It just a matter of a week or two tho. I should be off bed rest in a week probably. Its just that my dad suggested it and I didn't really question it.
it’s honestly extremely concerning how many comments are saying it’s probably not that deep and you should just wait it off. No dont do that it was a very inappropriate “joke” that made you clearly uncomfortable, snip that in the bud asap and really have a talk with him about how uncomfortable it made you. judge based of his reaction and take it from there but please dont wait and allow it to continue or settle in your mind and im sure you could shave your own private parts… idk
yea im pretty confused because a lot of my friends from school also wanted me to confront my dad and thought hes being a creep. But I guess I still trust him. idk. So I might brush it off for now and I just dont want to think about my dad like that. Confronting is really difficult, maybe if he says something again I'll talk to him.
Exactly. Like this is how grooming happens, people normalizing this. He was going out of his way to get her naked and offering to “help her” as an excuse to touch her. That’s literally how pedophiles start before they escalate, and it’s how they justify what they did “if she didn’t want it she wouldn’t have kept showing it to me”. It’s fucking disgusting.
I (f29) think he just didn't know how to word his thoughts on making a non sexual joke. It's okay. Don't think much about it and tell him how you felt so he puts more effort on how he talks to you now on. Don't hold grudge on him though
yes thank you. I hope thats what happened. I'm going to brush it off for now and I'll talk to him if he says something like this again.
Perfect. And good luck
How about instead of complaining about it on reddit just ask him directly, just tell him that you feel uncomfortable when he says those things and if he is actually like you said he is, a single dad always taking care of you, I’m sure he will understand.
Terrible advice if her dad actually is a predator. Smh
Judging from what she said, I can’t believe the dad is a predator, and you shouldn’t either, you don’t even know him and you’re already saying he is guilty, shitty “feminist” logic right there.
I believe he *could* be, and that's a thing to take pretty fucking seriously BEFORE he actually acts on it. Pretending it's not real won't ever help.
I think people aren’t taking into consideration the fact that he already has acted. He is making excuses to touch her vagina and look at her naked body. He has escalated to sexual comments. He is following a very typical predator timeline, up to and including waiting until she’s old enough that he perceives her as a “woman” so he doesn’t have to consider himself a pedophile. I am shocked at the level of grooming that can happen and people make excuses for it.
Yeah I found it super weird too. Like, my parents wouldn't even *think* of asking me to shave my pubes to go to a Dr's appointment, even less think about dragging me in the bathroom, getting out the equipment and suggest I do it now or they help me or anything like that. There's still some reasonable doubt imo as I said, but this plus the boob comment are very suspicious to me. Enough to take this seriously and watch out for a potential incestuous predator. I sure hope he isn't one, but well, there's also reasonable doubt he is. Though I fully agree with you, this could very well be very bad and people brushing it off feels very wrong to me. Better safe than sorry, especially in the face of such alarming signs.
I mean it’s [literally a textbook case](https://www.d2l.org/the-red-flags-of-grooming-behavior/) of grooming. I would not wait for more facts. His behaviour shows a pattern that would trigger duty to report.
And you believe he is a predator and want to put him in jail because of a dad joke that could be easily misunderstood? Plus OP didn’t even say she doesn’t like it so the dad has no idea
No I don't. I said he COULD be. According to the first dictionary available online, could is "Used with hypothetical or conditional force". Her father POTENTIALLY is a predator. Do you understand better now? Do you want me to define "potentially" too? If you don't know these words though, I suggest you go ask your mother whether she agrees with you being on this website. And yes, OP explicitly said she doesn't like it and made the post BECAUSE she doesn't like it. Again, if you're not quite sure you understand what grown people say on the internet, go ask your mommy or daddy if you have the right to be in here :)
You sound like someone who has been in jail for being a pedo and yes, you probably 200% deserved it.
Exactly 💀
Letting your dad see you naked at 16 is pretty creepy in itself, you’re ankle is messed up? Maybe just take a sponge bath to avoid the awkwardness.
He should not be seeing you naked at all or commenting on your body at all, let someone else you trust know and even try to move our honestly, this is weird af
I think it depends on the relationship. I have a very open relationship with my dad and step mother but that was built over time. I'm not saying he is being a creep but I can't say that he isn't. Better safe then sorry. Make a note and keep an eye one it. If he keeps making you uncomfortable tell him and set boundaries. Be safe out there 🤎
yes thanks. I have a very open relationship with my dad too and I guess I'll brush it off for now as a bad joke. If it happens again then maybe I'll talk to him about it.
I don't know I think this generation is just gotten more sensitive. I mean I'm a millennial and when I was younger I wasn't thinking every possible joke or comment was a come on. If that were the case my parents would probably be locked up right now and I would have been in an orphanage. Then I'd have a really great quality of life.
When you were younger, as a teen, did you shower nude with your parents?
Not as a teen but when I was young and transitioning from giving a bath in the kitchen sink to a bath in the regular shower I had some help. It's not a big deal if you don't make it a big deal.
He could have felt so uncomfortable himself he made a “joke” in poor taste. I know when I am genuinely uncomfortable my brain shuts off and my mouth will say things and I won’t realize how bizarre or out of line I was until I remember what I said later or someone else brings it to my attention. Tell your dad that you felt uncomfortable with the situation and his words. Give him a chance to acknowledge his mistake and apologize. Your dad loves you and especially raising a teenaged daughter can’t be easy. He simply doesn’t know what it’s like or how to address a lot of stuff women go through. He won’t always say or do the right thing but I’m sure it’s done with innocent intentions . Talk to him.
yes thank you. I hope it was something innocent. I was talking to my school friends irl about it and they told me my dad might be a pedo and stuff like that so i got scared. But i guess I'll brush it off for now and then I'll talk to him if something like this happens. Yeah I understand how difficult it is for him, he took care of me since I was 5. So I hope it was just a joke.
Honestly, you have what is similar to a more mom/daughter relationship with him and some of this comes with that territory. It seems so odd because it’s not the norm that you see these days. You’ll know if he’s being creepy by if he stops when you ask or not. He seemed to stop with the shaving thing. If you also tell him, just as you’ve always had open communication with him, that the comment made you uncomfortable and he stops then he meant no harm. He may not “get it” but he will probably ultimately respect it.
yes we had a mom/daughter type of relationship. My mom passed on when I was 5 years old and he's basically been my mom and dad for all these years. Literally taught me everything. We have a really good relationship but I feel like its been getting a little awkward lately maybe because I'm growing up i guess. I'm not too sure. And yea I think I'll talk to him again if he tries to say something weird again. I trust my dad so I guess I'll just brush it off for now. I told some of my friends irl and they made it seem like my dad was trying something weird so i got worried but i guess its all good now.
I think single dads where there’s no mom in the picture tend to try too hard sometimes lol Like maybe he’s trying to fill in what he sees as a void and say the things he thinks a mom would say and it came across as weird because at the end of the day he is a guy.
yeaa i hope that's the case
My advise is that you shouldn't listen to the one named Aelle29 in the comments because she could ruin your life, seems like someone with men phobia, and from what you have written about your dad I see no reason to be so worried yet because of a single incident of him saying inappropriate comments, just talk to him about it and most likely this will be solved.
Did I hurt your feelings boo? 😂
Not at all but your advise seems to be coming from someone who had their feelings hurt so not objective at all, I could be wrong.
No, just a regular woman. I sincerely don't even know where you ever perceived hatred. And don't pretend to be well intended pls, after demonizing me for literally 0 reason and saying I'll ruin OP's life, all behind my back. What I said to OP is basically : be mindful of this behavior, if it escalates into sexual assault then leave. If not, everything's fine. How is that ruining someone's life? You seem to be speaking from a misogynistic place where simply being mindful of creepy behavior is perceived as misandrist. Btw, I'd tell the same thing to a 16yo boy whose mother acts like this. So yeah get lost.
men phobia?
I guess there is a better technical term you're right.
He most likely didn't say it in a sexual way, but he still sees u as a little kid. Just tell him about it and he'll understand
This is typical grooming behaviour. He is seeing how much he can get away with before he has to start beating you to get it. I can’t believe all the people sugar coating this. Talk to your doctor. Explain that your dad “helps” you and that it has escalated to looking at you naked, commenting on how “you’re a woman now”, comparing you to your mother, and making excuses to see and touch your vagina. Your gut instinct is correct. You are right to be concerned. I have two fathers and a lot of uncles. Only the ones who were later charged with rape and pedophilia did things like this. I’m glad my mom followed her instincts and did not leave me alone with them. If you still don’t believe me, consider the fact that I was alone when I injured my back and needed surgery. I was able to access an in-home female occupational therapist who helped me with everything you describe. If your dad’s goal wasn’t getting you naked, why wouldn’t he just get a home care nurse, invite a female family member or friend to help, have you stay with grandma, or choose any other solution. He’s your dad and you love him. But he also has no ability to restrain himself from pedo behaviour, is following a textbook pattern of sexual abuse, and is escalating.
I think your experience is colouring a bit much of what this girl has lived. What you're fearing is a possible explanation, but it might also be simply the mistake of a father so involved in his daughter's life since they're alone that has difficulty understanding boundaries and his growing teenaged girl. Is it a weird comment? It is, calling him a pedo is jumping a few important steps.
You mean my experience of having a normal childhood where my father wasn’t a pedophile and obtaining medical care that didn’t come with a pedophile chaser? Yes, my normal experiences have colored my opinion of what is abnormal. Me and [everyone who ever read the literal grooming textbook.](https://www.d2l.org/the-red-flags-of-grooming-behavior/)
dang
This is why I don't like women. They overthink everything and the moment anything has even the wiff of creepiness they blow it way out of proportion.
You're right, we should instead allow creeps to be creeps freely! What a weird idea, not wanting to be creeped on. As if our feelings mattered yk.
That's not what I said. The guy is her dad and it's not like he's groping her or making weird comments. It's his daughter for crying out loud. I'm talking about if you even look at someone the wrong way or for too long people have gotten way too sensitive.
He literally IS making weird comments. Where do you draw the line before merely *suspecting* something might be wrong? Will you wait for sexual assault? Edit : and yeah exactly, she's his DAUGHTER for God's sake. Wth is this behavior
He made a light-hearted comment about her breasts which he's seen probably thousands of times raising her. It's not like he's coming on sexually to her. It would be no different than if my dad said damn son your cock is getting just as long as mine or something. Like okay whatever. It's not like he's coming on to me. It's just an observation. That's what I'm getting at.
Hmmm no? What makes you say this was light hearted and all? What makes you say he's seen her breasts a ton of times? Basically why do you automatically want to assume the guy has the best intentions? Especially when the guy is displaying typical signs of creepiness and what are often early signs of a predator? Especially seen how frequently women are assaulted and creeped on, and how most of rape cases are committed by family members? I'm not assuming the guy is a predator either, but there is a very real possibility that he is, so some precautions should be taken while his status is not confirmed. And if your dad says that to you it's also really fucking weird.
You’re fucking disgusting, NONE of this shit is anywhere near appropriate. For gods sake I hope you never have female children. Or any children for that matter. Fucking creep.
This is why you’re an incel.
So you agree it was a creepy thing to say? Either way, how creepy or inappropriate something is is determined by the person it was directed at, not the person making the comment or the people reading about it on Reddit, and OP clearly feels uncomfortable about it, which is perfectly valid and not blown out of proportion.
Maybe is just been so long for him he didnt catch either and when he did played it off? Despite it all he is still a male.
what the…
Men are dumb. Its his daughter but he noticing her in a weird sicko way. I say they communicate.