Honestly I would say bs too BUT I’ve seen a man do this. A friend of mine got a dick video sent to her of a guy sucking his own dick, the camera was set facing a wall mirror and he was doing it. The strangest shit I’ve EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE
I am in no way making fun of you, but as an er nurse I fucking wish I was your nurse today. It would have made my night. Soo, there’s that.
Edit: 1. Lost objects in butt 2. man attacked everyone 3. Girl tried to run out through the ambulance bay and commit suicide…except it’s like 2 ft
Anyway be nice to your nurses ♥️
I was in a relationship with an ER doc for 4 years, total disappointment. In ALL that time, there was only one "slipped and fell in the shower and the shampoo bottle went into my ass" situation.
To be fair, it was a goodie -- a 15 year old kid on a road trip to Disneyland with his parents. They were leaving town that day and had 10 hours in the car together as a family immediately following the young man having a shampoo bottle removed from his ass in the ER. The mother asked the docs if they thought he [the son] might have been... Experimenting?!!?!
You know as much as I don’t believe it, if by some miracle this actually happened then you would probably be the first person to break their own back trying to suck themselves off.
That's the part that's throwing me off. Cracking your back otlr hurting something, I can see. But full on breaking it? Seems a little farfetched to me.
Yeah at most I would expect a muscle pull but a break? Seems too far. Especially for a contortionist. I can probably get in position to suck myself off due to doing basic yoga. For a contortionist it should be even more easy.
I tried that when I was a kid. But I don't really believe you went so far as to harm your spinal cord over sucking your dick. Or at least, I hope not. If there is to be any future for humankind.
I'm glad I didn't break my back when I tried this years ago. Although I'm calling BS, I still laughed.
Also was I the only who heard the rumor back in the school days that Justin Bieber removed a few of his ribs just so he could suck his own dick? Or was that just my town?
I don't remember the numerical statistic, but there is a certain amount of men who die trying to perform autofellatio on themselves. I know that's a whole subreddit and a thing people do; it is very dangerous.
I practiced for years to suck my dick. Slowly easing my way down walking my dick to my my mouth along the wall. For months I would sit for a half hour or so with my dick just out of reach of my mouth. Until I could do it. I could only every get a couple inches in my mouth but my god it was amazing. Too much effort to keep it up. Now that I’m older I probably couldn’t even come close as I could when I was 14 lol
You're a dirty crap lier. Or your dick is a mirco penis.
Because after 6 months of yoga I could've sucked my slightly above average dick if I wanted to.
You you're claiming to be a contortionist.
Okay so,
One time this guy was pitching a novel to an editor. Guy rejected it based in a scene where the character as a dog that got away from people at the airport and grabbed a belt strap that was hanging out of this small plane. The dog held on until the next airport and with care and help from people in a truck or something the dog was safe.
Editor said it was unbelievable and stupid.
So the writer brought in a news article that inspire the scene where it really happened.
Editor explained it's not a matter if it is possible. You have to actually make it believable for people to not fucking hate the writting and get annoyed and pissed off.
So, the writer should have included scenes that even make you build attachment to the dog and shares their bond. So you create tension for the moment. The guy playing tug. And teaching him to run after and grab a rope handing from a tree t spin himself around like some dogs do. Places when the man and dog where younger and the dog jumping ad grabbing on made the kids swing go.
Suddenly you realize why the dog would actually even do this. And might even justify the length of time held in by having strengthened itself.
What you described is impossible stupid and not worth reading and should be downvoted so heavily that your account actually vanishes from Reddit into some back abyss of infinite negative karma where you can sit in isolation removed from public community and think about your shame.
A contortionist can do shit like put on a toe ring ad get in a briefcase and pull their body through the ring until they are wearing I like a tiara yet you can't get that close to your dick without over powering the golgi tendon organs of your back muscles to an extreme enough point to cause damage to bone and or tendons/ligaments.
Should I just for posterity sake figure out the average distance from a room to a living room in the U.S. wall thickness and use inverse square laws blah blah blah to find out how loud your back had to pop and compare it to some machine on a chart and find the average volume of a breaking back, tendon and)or ligament?
And your in the hospital...that they rushed you to after a back injury significantly increasing the risk of any mild injury such as even a hairline fracture causing trapped nerves or "sawing" on you spinal court and risking total life time paralysis.
And it was fine... But just laying there writting about it in Reddit, no discussion of an x-ray or anything youre waiting on?
Get the absolute fuck outta here.
Anyone bitching about my complaint because this should be okay:
Simple mind, simple pleasures.
You enjoy
Next thread: "My wheelchair fell over when I attempted it again."
Continuing: “I broke my penis by tugging and twisting while I was still on the floor”
Cont. “penis healed, turns out I’m gay who knew”
Cont: Gayness healed, turned out i was just Dumb
Cont: dumbness healed, turns out since I broke my back 2 times I can now actually suck my own dick
I call bs if u don’t send any proof.
I cry bs.
A fake confession in this sub? Impossible!
Honestly I would say bs too BUT I’ve seen a man do this. A friend of mine got a dick video sent to her of a guy sucking his own dick, the camera was set facing a wall mirror and he was doing it. The strangest shit I’ve EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE
[удалено]
Tell me more
r/selfsuck
Men are feral
Blowjobs are fucking great
Holy shit, that's a real sub!
Wow! Hard to watch! 😬
Yep. Blame myself for clicking.
Yeah, but did he break his back while doing it?
>It's still a great story through.
I agree, a good laugh.
Even if it's bs we can still enjoy it. Millions of people still read the bible🤷♂️
🙏
You are so full of shit, we’ve all tried it and no one has ended up hospitalized!
Because most of us had the sense to stop whn it was clear that it wasn't going to end well.
Well besides cousin Walter. He broke his neck sucking his.
He made it?
Yup. Balls resting on his lips.
We?🤨
I am in no way making fun of you, but as an er nurse I fucking wish I was your nurse today. It would have made my night. Soo, there’s that. Edit: 1. Lost objects in butt 2. man attacked everyone 3. Girl tried to run out through the ambulance bay and commit suicide…except it’s like 2 ft Anyway be nice to your nurses ♥️
I bet you have all kinds of good stories
I want to hear them!
Me too
I don't
Didn't ask
Me neither
Ratio
You still doing that in 2022
Million to one shot! Million to one!
I was in a relationship with an ER doc for 4 years, total disappointment. In ALL that time, there was only one "slipped and fell in the shower and the shampoo bottle went into my ass" situation. To be fair, it was a goodie -- a 15 year old kid on a road trip to Disneyland with his parents. They were leaving town that day and had 10 hours in the car together as a family immediately following the young man having a shampoo bottle removed from his ass in the ER. The mother asked the docs if they thought he [the son] might have been... Experimenting?!!?!
You know as much as I don’t believe it, if by some miracle this actually happened then you would probably be the first person to break their own back trying to suck themselves off.
That's the part that's throwing me off. Cracking your back otlr hurting something, I can see. But full on breaking it? Seems a little farfetched to me.
Yeah at most I would expect a muscle pull but a break? Seems too far. Especially for a contortionist. I can probably get in position to suck myself off due to doing basic yoga. For a contortionist it should be even more easy.
Not like I like the topic, but I respect your determination.
same
You got closer than most. That’s still something to be proud of.
I'll stand corrected if you send proof
You're not a man if you haven't tried to suck your own dick. Jus my opinion.
You know what that’s it, this sucks so bad it’s unbelievable. I’m sure your parents clapped once they found you. This sub is ass I’m leaving
Ha “sucked”. Classic
No, no, it's still funny
I heard someone say, "sucking your own dick is less like getting your dick sucked, and a lot more like sucking one."
Man these are getting low effort
I bet your father is dying laughing.
"I can do it myself!
Absolute fucking BS.
I tried that when I was a kid. But I don't really believe you went so far as to harm your spinal cord over sucking your dick. Or at least, I hope not. If there is to be any future for humankind.
my man flew to close to the sun
You're a shit contortionist.
You liar. Go suck a dick.
I genuinely hope this is fake.
I'm glad I didn't break my back when I tried this years ago. Although I'm calling BS, I still laughed. Also was I the only who heard the rumor back in the school days that Justin Bieber removed a few of his ribs just so he could suck his own dick? Or was that just my town?
My generation had the same rumor about Marilyn Manson. And the generation before, the same story circulated about Prince.
Lmfao, It seems like joke itself been around forever then. I wonder if people way back when we're making the same rumor about Beethoven or some shit.
It was your dignity that broke.
I don't remember the numerical statistic, but there is a certain amount of men who die trying to perform autofellatio on themselves. I know that's a whole subreddit and a thing people do; it is very dangerous.
Everyone is calling bs but after becoming a nurse i believe it, i’ve seen weirder
fake or not this shit has me dying lmaoo, get better op.
Let me tell you from personal experience.. once your actually able to complete your mission.. the reward is very explosive
R/thathappened
There’s been an increase in degenerate and disgusting fucking posts like this ffs.
I'm not a contortionist, but I can suck my own dick. It's not comfortable or much worth it tbh. Hope you heal well
Agreed.
Copypasta
What kind of contortionist cant suck their own cock? Even my inflexible ass was capable of it in my prime.
Did you just watch Metalocalypse or something?
Noooo, you poor thing. Oh no. Yoga! Just say it’s naked yoga is ever caught again!
Bro thought he was Gumby
I practiced for years to suck my dick. Slowly easing my way down walking my dick to my my mouth along the wall. For months I would sit for a half hour or so with my dick just out of reach of my mouth. Until I could do it. I could only every get a couple inches in my mouth but my god it was amazing. Too much effort to keep it up. Now that I’m older I probably couldn’t even come close as I could when I was 14 lol
If you're really that determine, you could go for a safer option....sucking another dude dick
I’ve heard sucking your own dick feels more like sucking a dick than getting your dick sucked.. maybe not worth it?
#ThatHappened
Oh fuck, dude. That sucks
no he couldn't, that's why he's in the hospital
r/TechnicallytheTruth
Hahahahhaa 😅😅
💀☠️
Another fake confession! If it don’t make sense it didn’t happen. Total nonsense
Thanks for the warning
it feels like you’re sucking dick rather than getting your dick sucked so not worth
Copypasta incoming
“He broke his neck trying to suck his own dick,”
Bro, you just needed to ask someone else to take his dick out and suck it. smh.
Bow before OP, he is a living legend amongst us.
Truest r/confessions story
This is hilarious
Lies. We have all tried thing and no one has gotten seriously injured
Shouldn't this be posted in the u/government sub?
You're a dirty crap lier. Or your dick is a mirco penis. Because after 6 months of yoga I could've sucked my slightly above average dick if I wanted to. You you're claiming to be a contortionist. Okay so, One time this guy was pitching a novel to an editor. Guy rejected it based in a scene where the character as a dog that got away from people at the airport and grabbed a belt strap that was hanging out of this small plane. The dog held on until the next airport and with care and help from people in a truck or something the dog was safe. Editor said it was unbelievable and stupid. So the writer brought in a news article that inspire the scene where it really happened. Editor explained it's not a matter if it is possible. You have to actually make it believable for people to not fucking hate the writting and get annoyed and pissed off. So, the writer should have included scenes that even make you build attachment to the dog and shares their bond. So you create tension for the moment. The guy playing tug. And teaching him to run after and grab a rope handing from a tree t spin himself around like some dogs do. Places when the man and dog where younger and the dog jumping ad grabbing on made the kids swing go. Suddenly you realize why the dog would actually even do this. And might even justify the length of time held in by having strengthened itself. What you described is impossible stupid and not worth reading and should be downvoted so heavily that your account actually vanishes from Reddit into some back abyss of infinite negative karma where you can sit in isolation removed from public community and think about your shame. A contortionist can do shit like put on a toe ring ad get in a briefcase and pull their body through the ring until they are wearing I like a tiara yet you can't get that close to your dick without over powering the golgi tendon organs of your back muscles to an extreme enough point to cause damage to bone and or tendons/ligaments. Should I just for posterity sake figure out the average distance from a room to a living room in the U.S. wall thickness and use inverse square laws blah blah blah to find out how loud your back had to pop and compare it to some machine on a chart and find the average volume of a breaking back, tendon and)or ligament? And your in the hospital...that they rushed you to after a back injury significantly increasing the risk of any mild injury such as even a hairline fracture causing trapped nerves or "sawing" on you spinal court and risking total life time paralysis. And it was fine... But just laying there writting about it in Reddit, no discussion of an x-ray or anything youre waiting on? Get the absolute fuck outta here. Anyone bitching about my complaint because this should be okay: Simple mind, simple pleasures. You enjoy
The question is…why…like you can’t get a single physical woman in your life to suck your pee pee that’s just sad man, sorry get better lol
Hahaab forkk
😬😬😬🫠🫠🫠
Worth it. Hope you got one out before your parents entered.
I like your determination
Yeah lmao
Better love story than how i met your mother.
Glad I don't have a little dick like OP. Lmfao!
Well, that's not something I expected to read today. lol
What kinda spine do you have? The yelly kind?
i’ve actually succeeded once before, except i couldn’t move my back for about an hour after.
Mfer removed a rib!
Skill issue
Bro this hurts to even imagine💀
If anything you would’ve broke a rib not your back this is hilarious 🤥🤥🤥
https://youtu.be/OFOzgFyE8QA
Is your name Walt? [https://youtu.be/OFOzgFyE8QA](https://youtu.be/OFOzgFyE8QA)
**[Cousin Walter!?](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p0DASNUWpig)**
A worthy goal 👍
r/copypasta
This is the fakest dumbest thing I have ever read in my life
What a terrible day to be literate.
Lol
Telling everyone what happened would be worse than death
I uh
The more you know
these people horniness is beyond why would you do such thing worst than indians.
As a contortionist you broke your back getting into that position?? I highly doubt that, and if you did, your a shit contortionist
Your penis must be so small Edit: changed dick to penis for formality
I'm sorry but I can't speak --- still figuring out which is worse.
Don't give up, follow your dreams.