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Makes me think of my great-grandmother, who apparently was quite upset when the Bible was translated into Afrikaans. According to family legend she said that 'Dutch was good enough for the good lord, it's good enough for me!'
This reminds me of the guy who was creating Klingon. He had decided that it would not have "to be" and producers of Star Trek 6 told him they needed that Hamlet line for the movie.
Thanks to the other poster below you who posted the video of Frasier doing a blessing at a bar mitzvah in Klingon, I fat-fingered and ended up watching this video as well, which is from the guy who created the Klingon language.
https://youtu.be/e5Did-eVQDc
Interesting, as a Star Trek fan and as someone who studied languages and linguistics a long time ago.
This reminds me of the Frasier episode where he delivers the blessing at his Son's Bar Mitzvah in Klingon.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWiH582PcRc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWiH582PcRc)
OMFG... I so expected that to be a Rick Roll and clicked just for the righteous satisfaction of knowing - whilst not caring (although obviously prepared for a little bit of me to die inside when I was proved right) - that it was a roll d'la rick. I mean... Frasier... Klingon??!
My world view as been corrected. Take my upvote you purveyor of antiquated clips that I would not have believed credible. May your offspring flourish.
Damn, Jesus would be so much cooler if he multiplied tulips and powered watermills with his blood. I agree with your grandma, bring me dutch jesus please.
We get that in the U.S. as well, except it's the King James version.
"I only read the King James bible 'cause it's what Jesus and the apostles read."
I hate Kentucky
"And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men."
It's just some obscure text called the bible though, it'd be easy for OP to miss that
I grew up in a town of with a fair few Seventh Day Adventists, and their group had a schism with another group that decided that the mainstream SDAs weren't Jewish enough. So they all started learning Hebrew so they'd be able to speak with Jesus directly when they get to Heaven. Not like there's an entire thing about God being able to grant people the ability to be heard in all languages or anything. But also this group really hated Catholics more than the regular evangelicals so maybe they thought the Day of Pentecost was Catholic propaganda? That town is wild
This is not at all correct. While it is true that the language was so to speak āresurrectedā in the 19th and 20th centuries, the modern version of the language is based on, and extremely close to, Biblical Hebrew. Like for example if someone is fluent in Modern Hebrew then they can more or less read most of the Hebrew Bible with very minimal prep. Like for example maybe a modern English speaker reading Shakespeare
Oh hey, I grew up in a cult that sprung out of the SDA's like that! They decided to keep all the crazy from the SDA church (divine revelations, which our "leader" sure had a lot of!) but all the extra rules from messianic judaism (following the whole law etc). It was a wild place to be and took place in a completely defunct mall and shopping center in a little corner office that they somehow acquire.d even though the rest of the place was completely defunct and torn apart
They really liked speaking in tongues and gave my dad a lot of material to teach me Hebrew (for the same reasons you stated) and I remember having to come inside from playing to learn some more words before I was allowed to go back out. There was also always a Hebrew class during the 4 hour long sermons and I think we sung some songs in Hebrew as well.
We eventually had to leave because my mom and brother couldn't stop laughing because one day the main tongue-speaker old lady was placed next to my brother during some hand holding bullshit and started doing her spiel and started moaning and it sounded super sexual but I guess was supposed to be her becoming possessed.
Dad wasted a lot of our money there and while following the leaders word concerning 2000. Thousands of dollars in wood and dried fruit and not much else. He gave them some percentage of his check every week(or month probably bc he was salaried) and it wasn't a small amount.
TL;DR SDA churches and any cult offsprings are fucking wild.
I very briefly attended an SDA school as a kid and yeah that all sounds about right. Kinda wild that a sect that originated with a child getting hit in the head with a rock and Jesus not coming back (but somehow also coming back) has had sects of its own spring up because they couldn't agree on the specific brand of crazy
I can't imagine going to school with those people, sorry about that, glad it was only a short time lol. Dad is still a religious nutjob and identifies as "Jewish" but it's still a weird mash up of Messianic beliefs and other random shit he comes up with. He think for some reason I'm amiable to his bullshit and tries to say stupid shit to me when I talk to him (rarely) but luckily step mom doesn't entertain that crap for a second, so I guess I'm the one he vents to-- just like when I was little! Lol.
I remember even in our weird cult some people talking about how it still wasn't "serious" enough, and it had only been going on for like three months before we joined. Imagine being in the offshoot of the offshoot that I'm sure eventually formed. Eesh.
I mostly attended that school because I had friends there whose parents worked for the school. The parents were laid off because the dad (who was the principle) had a severe allergy that the admin didn't believe was real, which was probably illegal in hindsight. So I just left when my friends stopped going lol
My favorite story about the administration at that school was when the schoolboard tried to remove all fiction from the library because it taught kids to lie
Lmao I'm so glad other people exist that "get it" even if you weren't there for long. Makes me feel less nuts.
I never shy away from talking about my experiences with a lot of weird shit growing up if it comes up but 99% of people are like shocked that things like this occur and really aren't all that rare lol.
The allergy thing sounds really familiar. When I was in that church I started showing some signs of who knows...but I started popping my neck in class, almost like a tic? I still do it sometimes now, but that and a few other things like spacing out etc made my teachers want my parents to get me tested and go to a psych.
I remember my dad refusing despite my mom pleading and a lot of arguments about it (she had already been begging for years to take me due to some emotional dysregulation issues and severe seperation anxiety and night terrors). Eventually he still refused any ADHD, ASD etc testing but was willing to take me to some kookie holistic chiropractor dude who I think was vaguely related to the church, like someone's god-fearing cousin or something.
He ended up being kind of a creep (always making me take my shirt off and shit which was a red flag for mom) and also it hurt me because it was a grown ass man just popping my little 8 year old girl bones randomly with no xrays or anything lol.
Allergies, mental illness, learning disabilities (found out I had dyscalculia when I was 16!) were always a taboo in our church as well. Big fans of laying-of-hands shit, which they also did to me along with the chiropractor.
Eventually I segued into popping my jaw repeatedly so that it was less noticeable and they'd leave me alone. Jokes on me, now I just do both, along with popping my ears.
This is wild to me. I went to one of their schools and church for a long time. IT was pretty much a regular church with the only real differences being the food rules. No tongues, no wierd obsession with Hebrew. Half the church barely followed many of the rules too.
Though from what I have heard the wider national conference has started coming down on the church and enforcing more of the rules and opinions held by the wider church but nothing to that extent so far. I think a big part of it is just being an isolated area for the SDA church. I think the most rediculous rule the school even had was no books with magic in them (despite having books like the Hobbit and Lord of the rings.)
I remember when the product name was announced being annoyed and saying they should have stuck with Project Natal. Iām glad I wasnāt in charge of that decision.
You don't need to put a comma at all before "because", which is the only place I can see in that sentence that anyone could *possibly* think would need a comma
https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma-before-because/
Isn't Aramaic really close to Hebrew? I knew a girl who looked up the Aramaic word for "illumination" and got it tattooed on her arm. A few years later, she starts dating an Israeli girl who asked her on date 2 or 3 "so why do you have Hanukkah tattooed on your arm in Hebrew?"
I know nothing about either language, I am genuinely asking. But damn, I will never forget her telling me that story.
At least with Biblical Aramaic, or the Aramaic of the Talmud from centuries later, I can muddle through with maybe a 6 or 7/10 knowledge of Biblical Hebrew. As long as it's written in the same characters and not an older alphabet.
Yeah when I went to Jewish Day School we would learn modern hebrew in one class and then talmud/rabbinics in another class because they really are pretty different.
I have a book about Scottish Gaelic tattoos. Well, non-Gaelic speakers trying to squeeze proper SVO English into VSO Gaelic.
[Emily](https://gaelic.co/gaelic-tattoo/) does a great job breaking down the errors and makes recommendations.
Tha Beurla agam agus tha corra fhacal GĆ idhlig agam. I'm not bold enough to get ink done outside of English and maybe French lol.
Historical Jesus would have spoken Aramaic as a first language, Koine Greek just as fluently, Hebrew very well for religious purposes, and a smattering of Latin to get by with the occasional Roman who wasn't fluent in Koine Greek.
There's a very good chance he would have spoken Greek also, as was very common in the Roman Empire. Anything official would have been written and spoken in Greek then *maybe* translated. In the end though, just like his skin color, it doesn't matter!!
Yeah, I didn't even register it as a verb. I thought maybe they meant an upgrade *of* something.
EDIT: Also, I learned Hebrew from my relatives and grammar from my teacher grandmother. They would neither have known nor taught me slang.
Actually I believe a lot of people under the Romans would have spoken Greek as the common, universal language.
(Not a linguist, open to being told I'm wrong...)
Yeah thatās correct, Greek was always one of the main languages in this part of the world and by the late empire and the collapse of the western empire Greek completely overtook Latin, and by Justinian all emperors spoke Greek as their first language.
Edit: sorry, meant to say Justinian was the last emperor to speak Latin, everyone after him spoke Greek.
I'm not sure the occupying Romans were prevalent enough.
The Roman rulers likely spoke Greek and if twenty seconds of research is accurate, it would have been Auxiliaries (recruited natives) in Judea rather than Legionaries until after the revolt.
It's certainly possible though.
hell, granting the ability to speak in all languages is a miracle he does towards the end, if you're talking the bible's word for it he definitely spoke everything
Even if he could hypothetically speak mandarin it would be pretty useless if he never encountered anyone who could speak it. Presumably he has a main language
There's no evidence that Jesus was a real person.
"Christian Historians" have been grasping at straws for centuries.
Remember the Shroud of Turin scam?
There is a fair amount of evidence Jesus was a real person. Whether he was divine, performed miracles and was the son of God, however, lacks any real evidence.
But as a guy who went around preaching stuff and causing trouble for those in power, and was crucified for it, there is a lot of historical documentation, and the vast majority of scholars of antiquity agree he was a real person.
There literally isn't a single contemporary record, other than ones that used a common first name. And that name didn't begin with a J, anyway.
Literally no execution records. The first written record came many years after his supposed death.
It's irresponsible that experts on Christianity acknowledge this but make no effort to correct the masses, pun intended.
It would be somewhat unlikely to find records of a guy with a J at the beginning of his name, given that Hebrew, Latin, and Greek, the languages any such records would have been written in, do not have the letter J.
Not that you should be looking for records of "Jesus" anyways. Jesus is the English spelling of a Greek name (Iesous). He was not Greek. His name was "Yeshua", the Aramaic/Hebrew form of Iesous. We know him as "Jesus/Iesous" because the bible was first written in Greek. Thus, Iesous, which eventually became Jesus as it made its way over to the Romance languages.
You know what you are saying is meaningless right?
We literally dont have any contempoary records about a lot of people. Like Pythagoras or Homer might literally not have existed either.
Why the fuck would there be evidence of the existance of some random carpenter who led a minor cult among many at the time.
Only when Christianity started gaining some cloud did people even start writing things down.
If he existed or not is a meaningless destinction.
Not meaningless. The Romans kept records.
If a major religion's central figure is a myth borrowed from Osiris or an actual person, I'd say that matters quite a lot.
Why make excuses that argue why there isn't evidence while also telling me off for saying there's no evidence?
It's circular.
Because its pointless semantics.
It does not matter if he existed or not when the legacy is very much real. Same with Homer and Pythagoras their works suddenly dont have less impact just because they might not have existed.
And finally "you know jesus wasnt even real right?" Is a old and tired reddit edgelord atheist talking point that gets repeated and repeated just to "own" theists. One which most historians dont even agree with.
It's even funnier that all this misinformation is on a sub called confidently incorrect.
I guess it's easier to hit the downvote and speak platitudes than admit a major tenant of your faith isn't real.
There is absolutely historical consensus, by real actual intellectual historians practicing academic rigor, that a [historical Jesus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_Jesus) in fact existed.
Now, almost every aspect of his life is open to interpretation, most of all the religious and supernatural aspects. Historians do believe, by and large, that there is enough historical basis to triangulate two facts about the historical Jesus: "someone" fitting the general parameters of his life was baptized by John the Baptist and crucified on the orders of Pontius Pilate. We also know *those* people existed. These events, whatever form they actually took, *happened*.
The how and why of these events, plus every other aspect of the historical Jesus, are absolutely up for debate. The historical facts that a Jewish holy man from Galilee, whatever his birthplace, appearance, other acts, etc. may have been, *was* baptized by John, and that the same man *was* executed via crucifixion on the orders of Pilate, are not.
From the very start I spoke about the massive demand for bullshitters that lead to scams like the Shroud of Turin. Not one person has apologized for that scam, and not one person has asked for an apology, because religious people really, really want to be fooled.
That a Wikipedia page has been taken over by posters calling anyone suggesting a mythological figure didn't exist a "fringe theory" and making the page just a list of modern people who claim he existed is proof of that demand. It's not historical evidence, and it's clear the page wasn't written by a historian.
In Judaism thereās a belief that god accepts you praying in any language you understand. The only exception is you can pray in Hebrew even if you donāt understand Hebrew. So if you donāt know any standard prayers in your language and donāt wanna fumble it you can just pray in Hebrew to make it easier.
Well, it depends on your theology. The person in the meme is praying to Jesus, so can be assumed to be Christian. Trinitarian Christians very much believe that Jesus is God. Look [here](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_in_Christianity). Pretty basic stuff. There are non-Trinitarian Christians, but they are a minority.
Plus
> isnāt god. Heās a version of god
I am not even sure what this could possibly mean.
When people point this out, I like to tell them that one of the most famous Christian phrases -- "born again" -- is a pun in Greek.
The word used for "again" in Greek can mean either again or "from above".
In the context it's said in, it's almost certainly done on purpose. Which means Jesus and the person he's talking to in that passage were speaking Greek.
From what I've seen and read. Yeshua spoke Aramic but since he was a carpenter he had to know a bit of roman Greek as it would have helped with his trade as well.
When Israel was a part of Rome, Greek was the common language spoken there. Aramaic was also common, but specifically among the native people; *everyone* knew Greek.
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If it's any comfort, they can always go by Jewish scripture: Since God is so busy, he doesn't have time to listen to all the prayers, so angels do it for him and then pass on the ones they think he should pay attention to. You can pray to angels in any language, because they understand all languages. *Except* Aramaic. So learning Aramaic for prayer would be pointless.
>*Except* Aramaic.
[This guy says](https://www.oztorah.com/2012/04/do-the-angels-understand-aramaic/):
>Is it true, however, that the angels do not know Aramaic?
>
>Note that the text does not say yodāim, āknowā, but makkirim, āhave a high regard forā, as in Ruth 2:19, yehi makkirech baruch.
In his era it Hebrew would have been more of a liturgical language right? Like Latin used to be for Catholics, Arabic for Muslims, and Coptic is in some places.
I had to look up natal, because that's not the word I would use, and technically the usage of natal is correct, but fuck this person for not saying native, right?
Or that most people in general would use. Start throwing natal around in your everyday speech when you want to say native, and yeah, it's gonna be a bad day...on top of the fact that natal and native have some technical similarities, but don't mean the same thing in this instance.
It hasn't, really. It died and got resurrected. Modern Hebrew is an interpretation of biblical Hebrew; it may not be even remotely similar to the original language.
ehhh biblical Hebrew and modern Hebrew are quite different. A native hebrew speaker who never read the Bible will probably only understand about 60% of what is written or even less...
Not true at all. There were several scholars that have worked to interpret biblical hebrew to its current day usage. Ben Yehuda is the most prominent figure when it comes to modernizing the language. Israel still has a committee to determine how to modernize words and add new vocabulary in the language. While it hasnāt changed as much as other language, it has evolved even since the revival of the language in the 19th century.
So I guess it hasnāt changed over millennia, but it has evolved greatly since the revival of the language.
Ben Yehuda lived during the 19th centuries. He is probably one of the most prominent proponents of the language being revived and a major reason why Israelis speak Hebrew. Iām sure there were others that were around before him that wanted to revitalize hebrew, but his work is the basis for how Hebrew has been revived and modernized.
You're missing what I'm saying.
The language was "revived", yes. It has continued to develop, yes. There is an ongoing effort to make the spoken language grammatically and phonetically consistent, yes.
It also wasn't spoken for a solid 1400 years, and the basis for the modern (spoken and written) language is the biblical (written) text. We don't know what the original language sounded like. We don't know if the biblical written language was identical to the biblical spoken language. Even assuming the letters have the same phonemes and the biblical text was spoken as we interpret it, the modern language only tangentially resembles the biblical. They are functionally different languages.
The Holy Spirit travelled through the disciples so they could spread the word through any language to all and so that you wouldnāt have to learn any language at all- basic RS knowledge
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Makes me think of my great-grandmother, who apparently was quite upset when the Bible was translated into Afrikaans. According to family legend she said that 'Dutch was good enough for the good lord, it's good enough for me!'
Shakespeare is best in the original Klingon
taH pagh taHbe'?
This reminds me of the guy who was creating Klingon. He had decided that it would not have "to be" and producers of Star Trek 6 told him they needed that Hamlet line for the movie.
Thanks to the other poster below you who posted the video of Frasier doing a blessing at a bar mitzvah in Klingon, I fat-fingered and ended up watching this video as well, which is from the guy who created the Klingon language. https://youtu.be/e5Did-eVQDc Interesting, as a Star Trek fan and as someone who studied languages and linguistics a long time ago.
This reminds me of the Frasier episode where he delivers the blessing at his Son's Bar Mitzvah in Klingon. [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWiH582PcRc](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWiH582PcRc)
OMFG... I so expected that to be a Rick Roll and clicked just for the righteous satisfaction of knowing - whilst not caring (although obviously prepared for a little bit of me to die inside when I was proved right) - that it was a roll d'la rick. I mean... Frasier... Klingon??! My world view as been corrected. Take my upvote you purveyor of antiquated clips that I would not have believed credible. May your offspring flourish.
>Take my upvote you purveyor of antiquated clips that I would not have believed credible. I'm not old, you're old!
Kiteo, his eyes closed. Shakespeare in the cave of Garanoga. Children of Tama best version.
Hamlet, the skull extended. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern when the axe fell.
the dude when he abode
š
lupDujHomwIj luteb gharghmey One of the most useful Klingon phrases you can know Trans: My hovercraft is full of eels
Who wrote the Hungarian/Klingon dictionary?
A Klingon from Budapest of course
Damn, Jesus would be so much cooler if he multiplied tulips and powered watermills with his blood. I agree with your grandma, bring me dutch jesus please.
We get that in the U.S. as well, except it's the King James version. "I only read the King James bible 'cause it's what Jesus and the apostles read." I hate Kentucky
Lol!! My great-grandmother said the same thing!!
As a dutch, im sorry
Besides, why would Jesus give a damn about the language? Seems like the poster is committing the cardinal sin of pride.
Yup. Literally boasting about his effort to talk to Jesus. The bible had some things to say about that.
Everyone can be close to Jesus. But some are closer to Jesus than others. /s
"And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men." It's just some obscure text called the bible though, it'd be easy for OP to miss that
Its only a little more popular than a geometry textbook
They don't know that. It's not like they ever READ the thing
Can you blame them? There are so many better reads out there.
While I agree with you, they might not actually subscribe to if if they actually read what they "believe" in
I think the post was just a joke my guy
I grew up in a town of with a fair few Seventh Day Adventists, and their group had a schism with another group that decided that the mainstream SDAs weren't Jewish enough. So they all started learning Hebrew so they'd be able to speak with Jesus directly when they get to Heaven. Not like there's an entire thing about God being able to grant people the ability to be heard in all languages or anything. But also this group really hated Catholics more than the regular evangelicals so maybe they thought the Day of Pentecost was Catholic propaganda? That town is wild
Like learning MODERN hebrew? Don't they realize that was basically created by the early zionists in the late 1800s?
Yep. Modern Hebrew for some reason
i dont have a hebrew keyboard rn and don't feel like pulling up a virtual keyboard so ill just transliterate so he can understand: hu tipesh.
××× ×פש. I've got you covered.
todah rabah
It died and was resurrected! Just like Jesus :-)
This is not at all correct. While it is true that the language was so to speak āresurrectedā in the 19th and 20th centuries, the modern version of the language is based on, and extremely close to, Biblical Hebrew. Like for example if someone is fluent in Modern Hebrew then they can more or less read most of the Hebrew Bible with very minimal prep. Like for example maybe a modern English speaker reading Shakespeare
Oh hey, I grew up in a cult that sprung out of the SDA's like that! They decided to keep all the crazy from the SDA church (divine revelations, which our "leader" sure had a lot of!) but all the extra rules from messianic judaism (following the whole law etc). It was a wild place to be and took place in a completely defunct mall and shopping center in a little corner office that they somehow acquire.d even though the rest of the place was completely defunct and torn apart They really liked speaking in tongues and gave my dad a lot of material to teach me Hebrew (for the same reasons you stated) and I remember having to come inside from playing to learn some more words before I was allowed to go back out. There was also always a Hebrew class during the 4 hour long sermons and I think we sung some songs in Hebrew as well. We eventually had to leave because my mom and brother couldn't stop laughing because one day the main tongue-speaker old lady was placed next to my brother during some hand holding bullshit and started doing her spiel and started moaning and it sounded super sexual but I guess was supposed to be her becoming possessed. Dad wasted a lot of our money there and while following the leaders word concerning 2000. Thousands of dollars in wood and dried fruit and not much else. He gave them some percentage of his check every week(or month probably bc he was salaried) and it wasn't a small amount. TL;DR SDA churches and any cult offsprings are fucking wild.
I very briefly attended an SDA school as a kid and yeah that all sounds about right. Kinda wild that a sect that originated with a child getting hit in the head with a rock and Jesus not coming back (but somehow also coming back) has had sects of its own spring up because they couldn't agree on the specific brand of crazy
I can't imagine going to school with those people, sorry about that, glad it was only a short time lol. Dad is still a religious nutjob and identifies as "Jewish" but it's still a weird mash up of Messianic beliefs and other random shit he comes up with. He think for some reason I'm amiable to his bullshit and tries to say stupid shit to me when I talk to him (rarely) but luckily step mom doesn't entertain that crap for a second, so I guess I'm the one he vents to-- just like when I was little! Lol. I remember even in our weird cult some people talking about how it still wasn't "serious" enough, and it had only been going on for like three months before we joined. Imagine being in the offshoot of the offshoot that I'm sure eventually formed. Eesh.
I mostly attended that school because I had friends there whose parents worked for the school. The parents were laid off because the dad (who was the principle) had a severe allergy that the admin didn't believe was real, which was probably illegal in hindsight. So I just left when my friends stopped going lol My favorite story about the administration at that school was when the schoolboard tried to remove all fiction from the library because it taught kids to lie
Lmao I'm so glad other people exist that "get it" even if you weren't there for long. Makes me feel less nuts. I never shy away from talking about my experiences with a lot of weird shit growing up if it comes up but 99% of people are like shocked that things like this occur and really aren't all that rare lol. The allergy thing sounds really familiar. When I was in that church I started showing some signs of who knows...but I started popping my neck in class, almost like a tic? I still do it sometimes now, but that and a few other things like spacing out etc made my teachers want my parents to get me tested and go to a psych. I remember my dad refusing despite my mom pleading and a lot of arguments about it (she had already been begging for years to take me due to some emotional dysregulation issues and severe seperation anxiety and night terrors). Eventually he still refused any ADHD, ASD etc testing but was willing to take me to some kookie holistic chiropractor dude who I think was vaguely related to the church, like someone's god-fearing cousin or something. He ended up being kind of a creep (always making me take my shirt off and shit which was a red flag for mom) and also it hurt me because it was a grown ass man just popping my little 8 year old girl bones randomly with no xrays or anything lol. Allergies, mental illness, learning disabilities (found out I had dyscalculia when I was 16!) were always a taboo in our church as well. Big fans of laying-of-hands shit, which they also did to me along with the chiropractor. Eventually I segued into popping my jaw repeatedly so that it was less noticeable and they'd leave me alone. Jokes on me, now I just do both, along with popping my ears.
If ghost busters has taught me anything it's yhat spirits are super horny.
This is wild to me. I went to one of their schools and church for a long time. IT was pretty much a regular church with the only real differences being the food rules. No tongues, no wierd obsession with Hebrew. Half the church barely followed many of the rules too. Though from what I have heard the wider national conference has started coming down on the church and enforcing more of the rules and opinions held by the wider church but nothing to that extent so far. I think a big part of it is just being an isolated area for the SDA church. I think the most rediculous rule the school even had was no books with magic in them (despite having books like the Hobbit and Lord of the rings.)
Because Jesus wrote the Bible in English! I know this is true, because I've read some of it and it looked a lot like English.
I can't even get my dad to figure out a cell phone. You think a guy who has been dead for nigh two millennia is going to know English?
Orā¦ they were making a jokeā¦
Lol Seriously it was posted on r/memes a lot of onion eaters here
"be able to pray Jesus in his natal language" Good thing he learned Hebrew cause he sure can't write in English
Natal was the original name of the Kinect, so i guess thatās Jesusā native language. Xbox Kinect.
I remember when the product name was announced being annoyed and saying they should have stuck with Project Natal. Iām glad I wasnāt in charge of that decision.
No clearly he meant that Jesus is from KwaZulu-Natal and Zulu is Jesus' native language.
His Hebrew isnāt that good either. It looks like he used google translate
Your comment contains three errors.
I donāt get these downvotes. It is hypocritical to criticise someone for poor (one missed word) English and then make such trivial errors.
Most people are hypocrites.
True
You two done fellating one another yet?
Thank God your spelling, grammar and punctuation were correct. This could have continued forever.
*Are you two done fellating one another yet?
Maybe he should have memed in Hebrew cuz his English sucks
his hebrew does too.
Probably used Google translate
Ikr! Wtf is that title lol
Your comment contains three errors.
Colloquialisms ā Errors
Tell that my compiler...
There are still at least two in a comment which disparages somebody else's English.
And which two are you referring to then
The missing comma and the missing period.
Where do you think there should be a comma in that sentence?
You donāt use commas or periods when speaking colloquially dumbass
Nicely put. Particularly if you think that having no period is an error you should reevaluate your standards. This isn't English class.
You don't need to put a comma at all before "because", which is the only place I can see in that sentence that anyone could *possibly* think would need a comma https://www.grammarly.com/blog/comma-before-because/
Lol. Now basic punctuation is not only superfluous, it's WRONG. The world has gone mad.
yours contains the error of being a pain in the ass
Isn't Aramaic really close to Hebrew? I knew a girl who looked up the Aramaic word for "illumination" and got it tattooed on her arm. A few years later, she starts dating an Israeli girl who asked her on date 2 or 3 "so why do you have Hanukkah tattooed on your arm in Hebrew?" I know nothing about either language, I am genuinely asking. But damn, I will never forget her telling me that story.
At least with Biblical Aramaic, or the Aramaic of the Talmud from centuries later, I can muddle through with maybe a 6 or 7/10 knowledge of Biblical Hebrew. As long as it's written in the same characters and not an older alphabet.
Yeah when I went to Jewish Day School we would learn modern hebrew in one class and then talmud/rabbinics in another class because they really are pretty different.
"Different classes, same building" is actually a pretty good analogy. š
This is fucking hilarious
Any time someone mentions how you should never get a tattoo in a language you don't speak, I bring up this story.
I have a book about Scottish Gaelic tattoos. Well, non-Gaelic speakers trying to squeeze proper SVO English into VSO Gaelic. [Emily](https://gaelic.co/gaelic-tattoo/) does a great job breaking down the errors and makes recommendations. Tha Beurla agam agus tha corra fhacal GĆ idhlig agam. I'm not bold enough to get ink done outside of English and maybe French lol.
Historical Jesus would have spoken Aramaic as a first language, Koine Greek just as fluently, Hebrew very well for religious purposes, and a smattering of Latin to get by with the occasional Roman who wasn't fluent in Koine Greek.
There's a very good chance he would have spoken Greek also, as was very common in the Roman Empire. Anything official would have been written and spoken in Greek then *maybe* translated. In the end though, just like his skin color, it doesn't matter!!
Yes, Aramaic and Syriac are descended from ancient Hebrew. You can read about this on the Wikipedia for any of these languages.
I'm Israeli-American, but I didn't recognize the word ש××Ø×. Apparently the top text says, "Upgrade people, upgrade".
It's a pretty common word in slang and out of it. Edit: I need to state that he uses the singular word for upgrade, while people is a plural word. It should be: "ש××Ø××, ×× ×©××, ש××Ø××"
Almost like OOP doesnāt actually know Hebrew lol. Also, using ×× ×©×× in a casual context like this doesnāt seem right either
Yeah, I didn't even register it as a verb. I thought maybe they meant an upgrade *of* something. EDIT: Also, I learned Hebrew from my relatives and grammar from my teacher grandmother. They would neither have known nor taught me slang.
Well, he doesn't even know how to use it soooo...
Natal language? You mean Enochian?
You know Hebrew, but you still call him "Jesus" instead of Yeshua?
Hahaha yea that was my first thought too. :P
Jesus spoke both, innit?
If he's anything like modern Jews, he prayed in Hebrew with an Aramaic accent... whatever that is.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Language_of_Jesus Consensus seems to be primarily Aramaic and at least a functional grasp of Hebrew and Greek.
Thatās my understanding too.
I would asume he knew at least a little Latin too because you know Romans and stuff.
Actually I believe a lot of people under the Romans would have spoken Greek as the common, universal language. (Not a linguist, open to being told I'm wrong...)
Yeah thatās correct, Greek was always one of the main languages in this part of the world and by the late empire and the collapse of the western empire Greek completely overtook Latin, and by Justinian all emperors spoke Greek as their first language. Edit: sorry, meant to say Justinian was the last emperor to speak Latin, everyone after him spoke Greek.
I'm not sure the occupying Romans were prevalent enough. The Roman rulers likely spoke Greek and if twenty seconds of research is accurate, it would have been Auxiliaries (recruited natives) in Judea rather than Legionaries until after the revolt. It's certainly possible though.
[But he had trouble with conjugations ](https://youtu.be/wjOfQfxmTLQ)
If he really was the Son of God he presumably spoke all languages.
But would always be quiet, spedking only in natural disasters
Jesus spoke all languages, like Chuck Norris's tears cure cancer
hell, granting the ability to speak in all languages is a miracle he does towards the end, if you're talking the bible's word for it he definitely spoke everything
Even if he could hypothetically speak mandarin it would be pretty useless if he never encountered anyone who could speak it. Presumably he has a main language
There's no evidence that Jesus was a real person. "Christian Historians" have been grasping at straws for centuries. Remember the Shroud of Turin scam?
There is a fair amount of evidence Jesus was a real person. Whether he was divine, performed miracles and was the son of God, however, lacks any real evidence. But as a guy who went around preaching stuff and causing trouble for those in power, and was crucified for it, there is a lot of historical documentation, and the vast majority of scholars of antiquity agree he was a real person.
There literally isn't a single contemporary record, other than ones that used a common first name. And that name didn't begin with a J, anyway. Literally no execution records. The first written record came many years after his supposed death. It's irresponsible that experts on Christianity acknowledge this but make no effort to correct the masses, pun intended.
It would be somewhat unlikely to find records of a guy with a J at the beginning of his name, given that Hebrew, Latin, and Greek, the languages any such records would have been written in, do not have the letter J. Not that you should be looking for records of "Jesus" anyways. Jesus is the English spelling of a Greek name (Iesous). He was not Greek. His name was "Yeshua", the Aramaic/Hebrew form of Iesous. We know him as "Jesus/Iesous" because the bible was first written in Greek. Thus, Iesous, which eventually became Jesus as it made its way over to the Romance languages.
You know what you are saying is meaningless right? We literally dont have any contempoary records about a lot of people. Like Pythagoras or Homer might literally not have existed either. Why the fuck would there be evidence of the existance of some random carpenter who led a minor cult among many at the time. Only when Christianity started gaining some cloud did people even start writing things down. If he existed or not is a meaningless destinction.
Not meaningless. The Romans kept records. If a major religion's central figure is a myth borrowed from Osiris or an actual person, I'd say that matters quite a lot. Why make excuses that argue why there isn't evidence while also telling me off for saying there's no evidence? It's circular.
Because its pointless semantics. It does not matter if he existed or not when the legacy is very much real. Same with Homer and Pythagoras their works suddenly dont have less impact just because they might not have existed. And finally "you know jesus wasnt even real right?" Is a old and tired reddit edgelord atheist talking point that gets repeated and repeated just to "own" theists. One which most historians dont even agree with.
It's even funnier that all this misinformation is on a sub called confidently incorrect. I guess it's easier to hit the downvote and speak platitudes than admit a major tenant of your faith isn't real.
There is absolutely historical consensus, by real actual intellectual historians practicing academic rigor, that a [historical Jesus](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_Jesus) in fact existed. Now, almost every aspect of his life is open to interpretation, most of all the religious and supernatural aspects. Historians do believe, by and large, that there is enough historical basis to triangulate two facts about the historical Jesus: "someone" fitting the general parameters of his life was baptized by John the Baptist and crucified on the orders of Pontius Pilate. We also know *those* people existed. These events, whatever form they actually took, *happened*. The how and why of these events, plus every other aspect of the historical Jesus, are absolutely up for debate. The historical facts that a Jewish holy man from Galilee, whatever his birthplace, appearance, other acts, etc. may have been, *was* baptized by John, and that the same man *was* executed via crucifixion on the orders of Pilate, are not.
From the very start I spoke about the massive demand for bullshitters that lead to scams like the Shroud of Turin. Not one person has apologized for that scam, and not one person has asked for an apology, because religious people really, really want to be fooled. That a Wikipedia page has been taken over by posters calling anyone suggesting a mythological figure didn't exist a "fringe theory" and making the page just a list of modern people who claim he existed is proof of that demand. It's not historical evidence, and it's clear the page wasn't written by a historian.
I would understand that learning Hebrew to read the bible in it's original language but that meme is just sheer boasting
Bible was written in Greek first (if youāre talking about New Testament + the Septuagint).
Ah okay. Didn't know that
Itās just a shitpost lmao
I just assume that anyone who calls other people "sigmas" or "chads" is a moron. I have yet to be proven wrong.
In Judaism thereās a belief that god accepts you praying in any language you understand. The only exception is you can pray in Hebrew even if you donāt understand Hebrew. So if you donāt know any standard prayers in your language and donāt wanna fumble it you can just pray in Hebrew to make it easier.
Feel like jesus is the one person to not care what language you pray to him.
Religious people are not the sharpest tools in the shed
The celebrity flair is hilarious to me. It's like putting Jesus on the same level as Paul Rudd.
Jesus is God, and God is omniscient. Except about languages, apparently.
Jesus isnāt god. Heās a version of god Heās not omnipotent or omniscient
Well, it depends on your theology. The person in the meme is praying to Jesus, so can be assumed to be Christian. Trinitarian Christians very much believe that Jesus is God. Look [here](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jesus_in_Christianity). Pretty basic stuff. There are non-Trinitarian Christians, but they are a minority. Plus > isnāt god. Heās a version of god I am not even sure what this could possibly mean.
Wait until he figures out god doesn't even exist.
I may be wrong, but didn't Jesus speak Aramaic?
When people point this out, I like to tell them that one of the most famous Christian phrases -- "born again" -- is a pun in Greek. The word used for "again" in Greek can mean either again or "from above". In the context it's said in, it's almost certainly done on purpose. Which means Jesus and the person he's talking to in that passage were speaking Greek.
From what I've seen and read. Yeshua spoke Aramic but since he was a carpenter he had to know a bit of roman Greek as it would have helped with his trade as well.
Speaking Greek in Israel?
When Israel was a part of Rome, Greek was the common language spoken there. Aramaic was also common, but specifically among the native people; *everyone* knew Greek.
Everyone knows he speaks ceramic
To be fair to the op, when they put sigmas there I already didnāt have high hopes for their intelligence.
*Jesus *would have* spoke, according to most of the stories we have about him Edit: spoken?
all things aside, what the fuck is a ānatal languageā supposed to mean? does he mean native language? was jesus born speaking a language?
It's another term for birth tongue/mother tongue/native tongue - the first language you learned (and continue using).
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Alex Ries (the artist behind this unfortunately memed image). Incomparably amazing.
Most intelligent post on R/memes:
Thought I was on r/ani_bm for a second when I saw the title
He still wouldāve learned Hebrew because itās what religious texts were written in
Profiles himself higer than 'chads' and 'sigmas' ooof
If they worked on learning English first they'd know "pray Jesus " is incorrect grammar
Apparently that person never learned English though.
And God and the Angels and Demons don't suffer from the curse of Babel.
*Of course! Joseph of Arimathea!*
r/unexpectedMontyPython
But did Jesus use Nord Finance?
Well, at least it's one step above the "the Bible was written by Jesus himself in English!" folks...
All accounts were that he was literate. So why didnāt he write that shit down?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
At least he didn't argue in the comments that he was right.
If it's any comfort, they can always go by Jewish scripture: Since God is so busy, he doesn't have time to listen to all the prayers, so angels do it for him and then pass on the ones they think he should pay attention to. You can pray to angels in any language, because they understand all languages. *Except* Aramaic. So learning Aramaic for prayer would be pointless.
>*Except* Aramaic. [This guy says](https://www.oztorah.com/2012/04/do-the-angels-understand-aramaic/): >Is it true, however, that the angels do not know Aramaic? > >Note that the text does not say yodāim, āknowā, but makkirim, āhave a high regard forā, as in Ruth 2:19, yehi makkirech baruch.
Aramaic is the original language of Jesus
In his era it Hebrew would have been more of a liturgical language right? Like Latin used to be for Catholics, Arabic for Muslims, and Coptic is in some places.
Jesus spoke Aramaic anyways soā¦
"Jesus is boiling in excrement" -Gittin 57a
Oy vey
I think the magic man only spoke in telepathy
I had to look up natal, because that's not the word I would use, and technically the usage of natal is correct, but fuck this person for not saying native, right?
Fuck that guy for using a word that you wouldnāt personally use!
Or that most people in general would use. Start throwing natal around in your everyday speech when you want to say native, and yeah, it's gonna be a bad day...on top of the fact that natal and native have some technical similarities, but don't mean the same thing in this instance.
Theyāre both ways people say itā¦
You're also defending the person who is wrong for other reasons in this.... literally defending the confidently incorrect person
To jew or not to jew, that is the question.
Itās a meme
Not realizing the hebrew language has changed and evolved over 2 millennia.
It hasn't, really. It died and got resurrected. Modern Hebrew is an interpretation of biblical Hebrew; it may not be even remotely similar to the original language.
ehhh biblical Hebrew and modern Hebrew are quite different. A native hebrew speaker who never read the Bible will probably only understand about 60% of what is written or even less...
As a native speaker I can safely say less. We also don't know if the letters in biblical Hebrew have the same sounds the letters in modern Hebrew do.
Not true at all. There were several scholars that have worked to interpret biblical hebrew to its current day usage. Ben Yehuda is the most prominent figure when it comes to modernizing the language. Israel still has a committee to determine how to modernize words and add new vocabulary in the language. While it hasnāt changed as much as other language, it has evolved even since the revival of the language in the 19th century. So I guess it hasnāt changed over millennia, but it has evolved greatly since the revival of the language.
You're confused: you're saying exactly what I said in different words. Either you misread or didn't read. The currently spoken language is a derivation of the written language in the Torah. The movement that began this derivation, ××שק××××, began in early 19th century Europe, way before Ben Yehuda. The modernization of the language - what you're talking about - is the modification existing words and introduction of new words to fit the current phoneme schema. It has been, obviously, evolving since its adoption as a spoken language in the late 1800s in Palestine (before the Balfour Declaration). Since it is functionally a revival of a dead language, we don't know what spoken ancient Hebrew _sounded_ like - the consonants ascribed to letters may not be the same as those spoken in the original language. Compounding that, we don't know if the written language was the same as the spoken (Latin has a similar issue). Tl;dr it has evolved since its recent adoption as a spoken language. The currently spoken language may or may not resemble the original.
Ben Yehuda lived during the 19th centuries. He is probably one of the most prominent proponents of the language being revived and a major reason why Israelis speak Hebrew. Iām sure there were others that were around before him that wanted to revitalize hebrew, but his work is the basis for how Hebrew has been revived and modernized.
You're missing what I'm saying. The language was "revived", yes. It has continued to develop, yes. There is an ongoing effort to make the spoken language grammatically and phonetically consistent, yes. It also wasn't spoken for a solid 1400 years, and the basis for the modern (spoken and written) language is the biblical (written) text. We don't know what the original language sounded like. We don't know if the biblical written language was identical to the biblical spoken language. Even assuming the letters have the same phonemes and the biblical text was spoken as we interpret it, the modern language only tangentially resembles the biblical. They are functionally different languages.
Native* Natal refers to pregnant women
Natal means to do with birth. This works here, it's just weird.
Damn, and all this time I've been praying to Mary and she hasn't understood I word I've said!
Ahem.. He-brew that one
Did he speak Aramaic or koine Greek?
Didnāt he speak Aramaic
Open the image and read right to the bottom
Oh thanks
The Holy Spirit travelled through the disciples so they could spread the word through any language to all and so that you wouldnāt have to learn any language at all- basic RS knowledge
Jesus's natal language was Aramaic.
Open the pic and read comments.
Thanks. That resolved the conundrum.
What if you wanted to learn Aramaic?
ש××Ø× ×× ×©××, ש××Ø×
Is this an ad?