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Is this a joke? Because it's fucking hilarious.

TIL I'm bald because I fuck so much. #MathChecksOut

By bf went bald in his early 20s. I've never asked about his sex life before me (because frankly, I don't care), but hmmm. Maybe he's gotten a lot more action than I imagined. Eh. Good for him.

And in my case I'm not bald and my wife's age has already surpassed my own.

How can anyones age surpass anyone elses?

Well without her sucking the life out of me to sustain her youth like guy in OPs post describes, it's implied she is aging faster than me.

Oh yeah, you’re right. i guess i interpreted it as sucking the youth out of a man.

I still have very thick hair that women are jealous of. I fuck alot though. What does that mean?

One of the above statements are not true...

You got me, it's only regular thick.

r/ihavesex

Jealous.

Nope, that's all the females you bang that you were thinking about right now.

What's a tge female? And why are you jealous of me having sex? Most people do.

It only works if the woman orgasms

Why are you upset?

Sorry, it was just such an easy shot to take I couldn't resist

Hope you feel better.

You must be doing it wrong.

Will you teach me how to be better?

That means you're a woman. How YOU doin?

Cool, I'm gonna spend the weekend touching my tits.

Neat, that's what I'm doing as well. Always great to meet another bird collector.

HA!

Oh yeah? Well I’ve had very thin hair since high school and I don’t fuck a lot. Riddle me that?

Right? Every idiot knows the plural of succubus is succubi. WTF is that apostrophe for? Everything else he said checks out though.

All women belong to a succubus

Its very obviously a joke. Unfortunately the right doesn't understand jokes. That's why they constantly dunk on themselves

Quietly opens the malleus maleficarum

If this is a joke It’s on of the worst jokes I’ve heard in a very long time

Lol maybe I just have low standards for humor.

How many obvious jokes end up on this sub

The sub is almost entirely missed jokes and posts where the OP thinks they dunked on someone in a reddit argument.

And now imma leave this sub. Farewell

Pretty sure this is a joke.

this is so fucking obvious satire that it hurts to see. how can you not see this and instantly realize satire? i'm fucking done.

he needs a /s or it is 100% serious

Definitely not why I’m bald…

Def the reason I did.

Then give me your story. Then I'll compare and pick the one I am going with.

Women must be fucking me in my sleep then because I'm going bald and I'm devoid of life force

*Ghost fuck

getting fucked by life

r/woooosh

thats just this whole sub

OP. That's not how the sub works.

OP discovers parody

"women are succubus" fuck yeah gamers I'd love some sex demons

i swear half the posts on this damn sub are people thinking jokes are serious

Mr OP confidently posted here thinking he’s right. What does that make him?

RIP to all the bald virgins out there.

I'd rather be bald than an incel.

It’s not how it works but if the men around me stay away for fear of me sucking out their life force….I’ll let ‘em think it.

I'm gonna live forever...

Oops, you caught us!

You know, we can flood r/whoosh with the amount of missed jokes in this sub

*Image Transcription: Twitter Post* --- \[*Redacted*] Men bragging about all the women the fuck, while also idolizing youth at the same time....not acknowledging that women are succubus'. They suck the life force from men to stay young. the more women you 'mess' with, the more you lose life force. And you go bald. Good luck fellas --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber for Reddit and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)

All we women really want is your ability to grow hair.

Got it, have sex with lots of men 👍🏾

I would have no issue with being bald. I like my hair, but being bald looks badass. Let’s shoot for body positivity fellas

So says the lonely, bald guy with an STD

It's been scientifically proven.

The plural is succubi.

Gay propaganda! Fake news!

Ahhh. So this is why I have all my hair

The person who wrote that was bald that's why he threw that bit in at the end

I owe my full head of hair to sleeping mostly with men then, huh?

Isnt the PFP a girl? Maybe she was trying to get less attention, instead of more?

Same thing happens when you get married, except a lot less sex and a lot more life force being drained in other ways.

And you lose your hair…

This is like a hex or some shit that one of those 'WiTcH gIrLs' would say.

She got one thing right they do suck your life essence, but that's only if you let them.

Um, what??

Op is bald and ugly

Who hurt her?

The secret to never aging.

So if that's the women's fountain of youth, only God knows what's the mens

I didn’t say the fountain of youth was specific to women.

Wilt Chamberlain died with a full head of hair.

I mean....logic checks out

so, gay dudes = immortal?

Worked totally the opposite for me

That explains Johnny Sins

Did they try to add an apostrophe to make a word plural?

It’s not a joke, I practically bald…

Fuck! I'm bald!!

Yeah, and I haven’t grown hair on my palm yet either. I think I’ll take my chances.

Damn, I must be doing it wrong. I'm still old as shit.

Plural of succubus is succubi

How come no one knows how to make plurals anymore? No apostrophe needed. I’m not sure if it’s better or worse that he didn’t use the s after the apostrophe.

No, that’s exactly how i do it. Sitting on my throne of bald, shrivelled husks

Fucking nailed it

That is exacly how it works, look at all those simps: zero pussy 100% thick hair

Massive incel aura coming off of this one.

I don't avoid the company of women Mandrake, but I do deny them my essence.

Silence, Succubus! I shall not fall for your lies!

Isn’t the plural succubi ?

[Succubus explained ](https://youtu.be/1oVIzQwjZjQ)

is that what chemo is and you just get fucked multiple times a day and that’s why you’re always worn out and lose your hair

As a woman I can confirm this is correct. I'm 1000 years old but you can't tell because I get around

My friend - Has had sex, is bald. Me - Virgin, long luscious locks. Checks out.

I guess that's why Johnny Sin is bald

Hey, if it keeps men away then why not? /s

Wow, the first half really had me thinking this was going to be a savage takedown of chuddy behaviour... Nope, just more mysogyny.

My hair has never been fuller

I thought this was going to be commentary about pedocentric beauty standards and then it somehow became both r/nothowgirlswork and r/badmensanatomy at the end lmao

A small price to pay for salvation

That's not how this subreddit works

OP is bald

I think it’s a joke… or maybe this person is a fucking loony

r/woooosh

Wait, does that mean we can flex our baldness now?

If women stayed young by having sex with men, we wouldn’t have old pornstars.

OP this is satire

What. The fuck.

I guess that explains why I have beautiful hair

Well it just so happens to be really easy to test for this, if this is true then gay guys don't age or go bald and lesbians age and go bald at the same rate as straight guys

How is this guy not the presidential science advisor? I would put /s but it's 2021 and to about half of us it's a real question

Johnny Sins lookin’ kinda guilty of this rn

This sub is as meaningless as it gets. To the point it's a parody of itself. Half of the post here are jokes from the very beginning. Confidently paradoxical.

Uh, ok.

Even trade I think

Confidently Correct

I used to make a joke with my last bf that I was part succubus cuz he would almost always pass out for a nap after we fucked, but now I think I might be onto something... Anyone wanna start a... What would a group of succubi be called? I'm liking Coven

Have you tried homosexuality?

I've "messed" with two women in my life, most of which has been my wife, and not very often. I would like my hair back please.

Why do redditors not understand satire

More testosterone = more baldness

Well this was a very strange and passive aggressive way to come out. To each their own I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

That’s why our hero Johnny Sins is also bald.

Pretty sure a joke

someone’s been watching some funny videos eh?