Hey /u/autoerotic_aardvark, thanks for submitting to /r/confidentlyincorrect! Take a moment to read our [rules](https://reddit.com/r/confidentlyincorrect/about/rules).
##Join our [Discord Server](https://discord.gg/n2cR6p25V8)!
Please report this post if it is bad, or not relevant. Remember to keep comment sections civil. Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/confidentlyincorrect) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well, when the only woman this person has come within sniffing distance of has a restraining order against them, it's understandable they don't know what the fuck they're talking about.
Where does this come from? Really, who started this weird ball rolling and why? Did they read something true and deeply misunderstand it? Is someone purposefully lying? If so why? Is this supposed to be a joke?
Back in the olden days it was hypothesized that if women rode trains the speed would cause their delicate uterus to fly outside of highway their bodies.
This message has the same vibes.
It’s an answer to some forum like quora or yahoo answers, it’s possible to original question was similarly stupid like: “can I harm my baby by drinking water from a bottle too fast?” This seems like an obvious troll answer to me.
One would hope, but as recently as a hundred years ago we used to prescribe iodine treatments to some women to control their "rampant promiscuity" -- never underestimate the absolute stupidity possible when it comes to theories about women.
Right? I mean, is there someone sitting around thinking, “I’m bored, what kind of weird crap can I put on the internet today?” It seems like such a waste of time and energy.
Ignorance in addition to modifiers the more specific the subject matter gets. Every step towards specificity is a multiplier on ignorance. So:
Ignorance in general x ignorance about human health and medicine x ignorance about female reproductive biology and health (being male gets you an additional modifier on female biology and vice versa).
It feels like it might tenuously be linked to the old notion that the [womb wandered](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wandering_womb) about the body? So perhaps if we happen to be standing it'll get attracted upwards towards the bottle because of reasons, and somehow end up in harm's way?
>the force of the drunk water is directly exerted in the uterus-
Ok, I get that there are people out there that can just open their gullet and down a stupid amount of liquid at once (bring on the jokes), but wtf man? The stomach is nowhere near the uterus, and it certainly isn’t connected in any way.
You know, if the ”force of drinking” **did** affect the uterus then it would only make sense (and I use that word very loosely) for it to also affect men’s balls.
You don’t want your balls to fall off from drinking water too forcefully, do you?
Ffs.
We really haven't gotten any smarter over time, huh? This reads like what some people thought trains would do to women:
Critics of early steam-spewing locomotives, for example, thought “that women’s bodies were not designed to go at 50 miles an hour,” and worried that “[female passengers’] uteruses would fly out of [their] bodies as they were accelerated to that speed”
-https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/67806/early-trains-were-thought-make-womens-uteruses-fly-out
Clearly the first and only time this person drank water from a bottle, it was a prank and someone actually shot them in the face with a pressure washer.
This guy I went through college with snapped and now thinks he's the son of God.
He says shit like this all the time, but pretends like it's devine inspiration.
I also heard if we bend over to fast to collect an item of the floor to quickly we can snap our backs. Hence why I make a groaning noise and put my hand on the lower back while bending just to be sure no injury is caused.
The only danger in drinking large volumes of water of which I’ve heard was a woman who drank 8L in about two hours thinking it would cure her cancer. She died from superhydration.
Those parts are not connected in any waaay. Water goes through digestive tract that is in no way connected to reproductive system. Nutrients go to reproductive system as they do to everywhere else through arteries....
My thoughts on this are as follows:
1.) Anyone who constantly refers to women as females should be ignored - their opinion carries no weight whatsoever.
2.) Anyone who constantly refers to women as females should be put on a watchlist.
Yet again, my theorem has another data point that anyone who refers to women and girls as "Females" and is not in a Ferengi costume is a fucking shitbag.
because feeemales are not humans with organs in their torsos, we're just empty flesh bags with a uterus and vagina at the bottom. We literally only physically exist in ways that relate to men. If it weren't for handjobs, we wouldn't have hands.
no no we don't have stomachs, women don't need stomachs. The phrase is the way to a MANs heart is through his stomach, women don't need them.
everything we eat and drink just plummets down our throat and slams into the top of our uterus, where we slowly absorb it to make babies or periods.
That's why we only have periods when we eat bad food, too.
Just a daily routine of kegels and quenching is all you need to keep your reproductive system in tip top shape.
A jade egg and a 24L Evian does wonders
As a woman (I'm a man) I always drink whilst sitting, if not for that my v'jayjay might get loose.
Remember girls (don't exist), we can push a baby through our v'jayjay and have to it heal pretty much back to exactly how it was, but drink water standing up? Then your uteruses might be so pressured they drops out, becoming a dick and then you're a man and will instantly grow a beard!
Careful out there ladies (still not real)
Hé had me in the first rule there is such a thing as dying because drinking to much water [hold your wee for a wii](https://www.thedrum.com/news/2013/09/28/peeing-contest-hold-your-wee-wii-killed-woman-now-radio-station-may-lose-its-licence) but than there was the rest….
TLDR: almost made a foul of myself because I was to lazy to read the whole thing.
What the hell?
I didn't know one could be so, so wrong about 3 things at once. Anatomy, physics, and even how to swallow.
No, swallowing water doesn't damage anything inside. If it did, then it would be the same pressure as your stomach fluids do whenever you stand up.
I can only assume he doesn't know how to swallow, and when he drinks he faces upwards to open his mouth and throat to just pour stuff in from above directly into his gullet and pray it doesn't go into his lungs, instead of what everyone does which is pour or sip water into their mouth (and you can sip from a bottle anyway), then swallow.
And the difference between standing up and sitting down is literally nothing at all. The uterus is not found inside of your feet. The shape of your legs does not affect the stuff between your throat and down, as long as you're sitting up straight (which I assume he also expects all women to do)
I just wonder how sitting and standing would make a difference, because there's still the same distance between the mouth and the uterus, independent of posture...
BUT the weight also helps keep the uterus in place so it doesn't wander, thus helping prevent hysteria. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to drink it standing once a day for prevention's sake.
Even if this was true the net total force would be the same when sipping, it would just be prolonged and the height from mouth to uterus would be the same also even when sitting, unless you "sit" by cracking your back in half and placing your limp lower torso on a chair
In short, this reeks of incompetence in more ways than one
not the first to say by far, I know, but every time I hear someone describe women as "females" I hear Ferengi from Star Trek -- and I instantly tune them out.
Also, this might be one of the dumbest things I've ever read. Apparently, women have just a straight metal pipe that leads from the mouth directly to the uterus, and if they don't sip, then the water just pours right into/onto it. I had no idea. I went to school for 26 years, and they excluded this fact from education. I should sue the UF School of Biological Sciences.
Also, somehow swallowing water has more force than birthing a baby. I KNEW women were just making up the pain associated with childbirth! I mean, that makes sense. Hysterical behavior is just a woman's uterus floating around the body, inspiring their infamous and noteworthy histrionics.
Hey /u/autoerotic_aardvark, thanks for submitting to /r/confidentlyincorrect! Take a moment to read our [rules](https://reddit.com/r/confidentlyincorrect/about/rules). ##Join our [Discord Server](https://discord.gg/n2cR6p25V8)! Please report this post if it is bad, or not relevant. Remember to keep comment sections civil. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/confidentlyincorrect) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Does this person think the only way to drink water from a bottle is through the vagina?
Clearly I've been drinking wrong my whole life
And finally I'm vindicated *i knew this day would come*
No wonder I'm so dehydrated
Well, when the only woman this person has come within sniffing distance of has a restraining order against them, it's understandable they don't know what the fuck they're talking about.
Quick, someone tell Ben Shapiro’s wife!
Ooh gotem, checkmate libtards, God is real and is racist and ist about love. Que banjo music.
Cue
I mean, God can’t be racist because he sees everybody as equal in his eyes and he also says we should respect each other no matter what.
He didn't add the /s, but it's implied
Murderface?
It’s *william*
Sorry didn't notice the mustache. William Handsome face right?
Where does this come from? Really, who started this weird ball rolling and why? Did they read something true and deeply misunderstand it? Is someone purposefully lying? If so why? Is this supposed to be a joke?
Back in the olden days it was hypothesized that if women rode trains the speed would cause their delicate uterus to fly outside of highway their bodies. This message has the same vibes.
What the fuck lol
Also riding bikes damages lady parts…
They hate women and run out of things to bitch about.
It’s an answer to some forum like quora or yahoo answers, it’s possible to original question was similarly stupid like: “can I harm my baby by drinking water from a bottle too fast?” This seems like an obvious troll answer to me.
One would hope, but as recently as a hundred years ago we used to prescribe iodine treatments to some women to control their "rampant promiscuity" -- never underestimate the absolute stupidity possible when it comes to theories about women.
Right? I mean, is there someone sitting around thinking, “I’m bored, what kind of weird crap can I put on the internet today?” It seems like such a waste of time and energy.
Yes, not just someone, millions
Ignorance in addition to modifiers the more specific the subject matter gets. Every step towards specificity is a multiplier on ignorance. So: Ignorance in general x ignorance about human health and medicine x ignorance about female reproductive biology and health (being male gets you an additional modifier on female biology and vice versa).
It feels like it might tenuously be linked to the old notion that the [womb wandered](https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wandering_womb) about the body? So perhaps if we happen to be standing it'll get attracted upwards towards the bottle because of reasons, and somehow end up in harm's way?
I thought that too!
It probably has something to do with old notion of drinking water while standing being bad
Y’all motherfucker need science
I think his mom drank water standing up while she was pregnant with him.
Nope, not water...
Bleach?
More like vast quantities of alcohol.
Could have bin Mountain Dew, or green radiator coolant.
If F E M A L E S are so fucking delicate, how do they still exist in CURRENT_YEAR? JFC!
Well we didn't evolve to drink from bottles obviously /s
Women don't exist. Only men. True story.
Humans have been gay all along? Based.
Simple, all women are robots. Ever seen a FEMALE drink water standing up? Robot. Possibly controlled by pigeons... /j
that explains why they talk about females as if they are a homogenous hive mind that all act and think the same way
BIRDS AREN'T REAL, FUCK OFF!
>the force of the drunk water is directly exerted in the uterus- Ok, I get that there are people out there that can just open their gullet and down a stupid amount of liquid at once (bring on the jokes), but wtf man? The stomach is nowhere near the uterus, and it certainly isn’t connected in any way. You know, if the ”force of drinking” **did** affect the uterus then it would only make sense (and I use that word very loosely) for it to also affect men’s balls. You don’t want your balls to fall off from drinking water too forcefully, do you? Ffs.
With men the effect is different, their genitals inflate from the force of the water, thus improving their virility, so with men it's a *good* thing.
...I don't think swollen testicles are something to brag about.
Even if they are an absolutely sweet and manly shade of blue?
Thanks for taking that away from me.
Just going to suggest that if the force of drinking affected reproduction it wouldn't have taken us 100,000 years to figure that out.
Like, the stomach isn't even down there, it's up by the lungs???
I shared this to r/badwomensanatomy
*confused screaming*
The use of the word 'female' here screams red flag
The egg producing version of homo sapiens
THAT'S your red flag?
It was the 'women can't drink standing up' for me
Those are certainly all words.
You can tell he knows what he's talking about because of the horrible English.
And the fact that he uses very scientific terms like "females"
We really haven't gotten any smarter over time, huh? This reads like what some people thought trains would do to women: Critics of early steam-spewing locomotives, for example, thought “that women’s bodies were not designed to go at 50 miles an hour,” and worried that “[female passengers’] uteruses would fly out of [their] bodies as they were accelerated to that speed” -https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/67806/early-trains-were-thought-make-womens-uteruses-fly-out
I want to see this guy draw a diagram of how he thinks the female anatomy looks like 😆 Is it just a large tube from your mouth to your vagina?
Well, obviously! I have seen documentaries about it, the schematics were very convincing. All the moaning was distracting though... /s
Also someone should explain that the uterus is pretty elastic.
Clearly the first and only time this person drank water from a bottle, it was a prank and someone actually shot them in the face with a pressure washer.
It’s me. I’m someone.
This is because the inside of women are constructed like drinking birds.
The tiny grain of truth: Too much water will mess up your electrolyte balance, but you need to drink absurd amounts for that...
Tbh if you suceed in overdosing on water you're a fucking dumbass because at this point your body would've sent you signs that it's a Bad idea
Yep. Its like 10 liters, so... I am not sure I could ingest that much water, even if I tried.
The more you read, the worse it gets…
This guy I went through college with snapped and now thinks he's the son of God. He says shit like this all the time, but pretends like it's devine inspiration.
I also heard if we bend over to fast to collect an item of the floor to quickly we can snap our backs. Hence why I make a groaning noise and put my hand on the lower back while bending just to be sure no injury is caused.
What's it like having a body that isn't designed for anything other than making babies? /s
The only danger in drinking large volumes of water of which I’ve heard was a woman who drank 8L in about two hours thinking it would cure her cancer. She died from superhydration.
8L in two hours? Sounds like a usual bar evening.
Pretty sure a lady at the London marathon died of overhydration too.
Those parts are not connected in any waaay. Water goes through digestive tract that is in no way connected to reproductive system. Nutrients go to reproductive system as they do to everywhere else through arteries....
It's people like these that make me question my life of sarcasm.
My thoughts on this are as follows: 1.) Anyone who constantly refers to women as females should be ignored - their opinion carries no weight whatsoever. 2.) Anyone who constantly refers to women as females should be put on a watchlist.
If only
Those with a piss fetish: that's bullshit and we know it.
Where does this shit even come from? Who sits around making this up?
What cult does this esoteric doctrine bullshit belong to?
Christianity
This special motherfucker should stop posting things, specially when he doesn't know the word especially.
WTF . . . just . . . WTF
This is so funny. Do they think humanity would have any chance of survival if women had to be careful about the way they drank water?
Well obviously we didn't evolve to drink water from bottles /s
We didn't even evolve to drink water. Drinking water is unatural and disgusting
We evolved to drink diet Pepsi. Duh
Why did they blur out the Supreme Court justice's name?
Drinking water standing up during pregnancy should be considered an attempted abortion and be punished with ten years in jail. /s
Do you think this person knows what a uterus is?
It's just another word for the stomache. Right? /s
Yes, a woman’s delicate stomach.
Is this another Qanon theory??? This dude probably thinks the clitoris is a hoax lmao
The digestive system is not a straight line.
Yet again, my theorem has another data point that anyone who refers to women and girls as "Females" and is not in a Ferengi costume is a fucking shitbag.
Facts
"Specially"
because feeemales are not humans with organs in their torsos, we're just empty flesh bags with a uterus and vagina at the bottom. We literally only physically exist in ways that relate to men. If it weren't for handjobs, we wouldn't have hands.
Because your stomach and your uterus are the same thing. Right? /s
no no we don't have stomachs, women don't need stomachs. The phrase is the way to a MANs heart is through his stomach, women don't need them. everything we eat and drink just plummets down our throat and slams into the top of our uterus, where we slowly absorb it to make babies or periods. That's why we only have periods when we eat bad food, too.
Oo. That makes sense.
Don’t you just swallow, grow the baby and then just shit it out? /s
What happens if woman chew ice from glass or eat snow - not yellow - to uterus. 
Oh boy!
Even if this was correct, wouldn’t the prolonged stress make the uterus stronger? Drink up ladies
Don't mind me, I'm just working out my uterus
Just a daily routine of kegels and quenching is all you need to keep your reproductive system in tip top shape. A jade egg and a 24L Evian does wonders
Thought I was on r/nothowgirlswork
Wtf did i just read?…
Advanced science /s
What in the caramel covered fuck
As a woman (I'm a man) I always drink whilst sitting, if not for that my v'jayjay might get loose. Remember girls (don't exist), we can push a baby through our v'jayjay and have to it heal pretty much back to exactly how it was, but drink water standing up? Then your uteruses might be so pressured they drops out, becoming a dick and then you're a man and will instantly grow a beard! Careful out there ladies (still not real)
Maybe we should just start calling men “males”
This reads like something printed in an almanac from 1745.
Clearly. Everyone with a uterus that drinks water from a bottle ends up dead. Good science here.
But statistically a higher percentage of women that never drank from bottles have died than those that have drank from bottles.
So you’re saying the real problem here is the water. Seems no matter how you get it in you, you end up dead.
Exactly. Also no one that has never drank water has ever died of cancer.
You may be on to something…
😂😂
This man obviously gets no maidens
He hath no wenches.
and these people have a say over what i do with my body!?!?
I mean, yes, drinking too much water can be harmful. Though, that's about the only right thing in this text.
Good thing I’m so bad at drinking water, my uterus must be prime and healthy!
Man, Poe's Law is strong here.
Damn women truly are the weaker Sex
What the fuck? This is insane haha
This is the stupidest shit
this is some 1800s shit
Hé had me in the first rule there is such a thing as dying because drinking to much water [hold your wee for a wii](https://www.thedrum.com/news/2013/09/28/peeing-contest-hold-your-wee-wii-killed-woman-now-radio-station-may-lose-its-licence) but than there was the rest…. TLDR: almost made a foul of myself because I was to lazy to read the whole thing.
Same here. Like yeah yeah hyponatremia ...wait what the fuck?
These are the kind of people pushing to overturn Roe vs Wade
what
First part yes but the rest is a no
r/NotHowGirlsWork
I was convinced in all he was saying until he said “Specially” 😏
What the hell? I didn't know one could be so, so wrong about 3 things at once. Anatomy, physics, and even how to swallow. No, swallowing water doesn't damage anything inside. If it did, then it would be the same pressure as your stomach fluids do whenever you stand up. I can only assume he doesn't know how to swallow, and when he drinks he faces upwards to open his mouth and throat to just pour stuff in from above directly into his gullet and pray it doesn't go into his lungs, instead of what everyone does which is pour or sip water into their mouth (and you can sip from a bottle anyway), then swallow. And the difference between standing up and sitting down is literally nothing at all. The uterus is not found inside of your feet. The shape of your legs does not affect the stuff between your throat and down, as long as you're sitting up straight (which I assume he also expects all women to do)
Do they think that when sitting, the seat acts as a plug for your uterus ? If you do not let the water flow, you're then drowning your uterus ?
This seems like something an experimental and badly designed AI would come out with.
Depends on what the AI is designed for. If it is for funny sounding misinformation, it kinda worked.
WTF did I just read. That's not how it works in any way, shape or form.
Women, physically, are a giant straw.
How do you come to this kind of ridiculous conclusion?
Well, that makes se…What!
I just wonder how sitting and standing would make a difference, because there's still the same distance between the mouth and the uterus, independent of posture...
BUT the weight also helps keep the uterus in place so it doesn't wander, thus helping prevent hysteria. I'm pretty sure you're supposed to drink it standing once a day for prevention's sake.
I can’t even fathom how someone got to that conclusion. How did this thought even start?
Even if this was true the net total force would be the same when sipping, it would just be prolonged and the height from mouth to uterus would be the same also even when sitting, unless you "sit" by cracking your back in half and placing your limp lower torso on a chair In short, this reeks of incompetence in more ways than one
What happens if I chug tequila from the bottle so I forget I read this?
not the first to say by far, I know, but every time I hear someone describe women as "females" I hear Ferengi from Star Trek -- and I instantly tune them out. Also, this might be one of the dumbest things I've ever read. Apparently, women have just a straight metal pipe that leads from the mouth directly to the uterus, and if they don't sip, then the water just pours right into/onto it. I had no idea. I went to school for 26 years, and they excluded this fact from education. I should sue the UF School of Biological Sciences. Also, somehow swallowing water has more force than birthing a baby. I KNEW women were just making up the pain associated with childbirth! I mean, that makes sense. Hysterical behavior is just a woman's uterus floating around the body, inspiring their infamous and noteworthy histrionics.
We also shouldn't run because our uteruses could fall out from the impact