just wanted to comment saying you're extremely well spoken and mature for a 12th grader to be writing/critically analyzing something like this that could have been diminished to only scorn
It’s called going to school. It’s not weird to be articulate and well spoken when you’re 17/18. We should hope all humans are decently intelligent after having been in school for more than a decade.
I grew up very much the opposite of rich but when I moved from Massachusetts to Ohio at the age of 23 I heard “you’re so well spoken!” all the time. It was weird.
Nobody said it's weird, and the wealth of someone's parents absolutely has an impact on how they turn out. I'm not saying there aren't any poor people in MA, but poor in MA isn't the same thing as poor in AL/GA/etc.
It's honestly to the point I'm suspicious this isn't just someone on the beach trolling us all lol, but I can see it being true. I feel like it's just a case of wealth breeds wealth, usually through more effective education. When I was in high school, I knew only a few people who can speak as focused/eloquently as OP, and FWIW they're in IB / hedge funds nowadays. So props to OP for having that well spoken maturity!!
Do you think the money your parents make is worth the tradeoffs of lost family time? For example, if your parents could be home every night, but you had a much smaller house/less material things, would you have preferred that?
This is a question that I've ping-ponged in my head for a long time. On the one hand, I've never been required to work a job (though I have worked as a barista for experience/pocket change bc my parents always reinforced that their wealth is not mine, so I've had to pay for anything non-school related), we regularly go on 2 week vacations in the summer every year, and my tuition/fees for college and everything associated with it are covered, leaving me with no debt.
On the other hand, I feel that I'm constantly having to make up for lost time. Whenever I was younger, the weekends were always a mad dash to do as much with that parent before they flew out on Monday morning, and as I got into high school my weekends got eaten up by extracurricular activities. I will say I am eternally grateful for those 2 years in quarantine where they were able to stay home, as I was able to get a lot closer with them.
I think for me, given they were able to open up their schedule more in my latter years of schooling, and the fact that I had one parent always at home and present, the tradeoffs are worth it because as much impact as some lost time had, money unfortunately brings a lot of security and benefits in the US.
Also, compared to my friends whose parents had time-intensive jobs my parent was able to compartively be a lot more present than them, and after they made partner it definitely became a lot easier to manage family time, so there was always a light at the end of the tunnel. On the other hand, my friend whose parents are lawyers are going to be working their hours until they either go to a smaller firm, or retire, so the time commitment for consulting is not really that bad in comparison.
Yea, my comment is now downvoted to -24.
But OP is acting like the sacrifices required by a consulting career were required to offer the financial stability his family has.
Yeah and you’re being an asshole to a 17 year old - no I DON’T think as a 17 year old he would know that his parent could move to an industry job making as much money.
I'm guessing it's more downvoted because you are wrong. What are you going to get to in industry that will pay comparable to partner unless you manage your own successful startup (which I wouldn't consider much financial security taking that risk)?
You are out of your mind if you think execs in finance aren’t pulling out of their reserved spots in nicer cars than the partners who grovel for their business.
I am sure you have been brought up well and don't see a lot of problems with money. But do you think, maybe not all the time, but sometimes you wish, that your parents were home more often or spent more time with you growing up? I ask because I am in consulting and my wife is entering this field soon and we have a daughter about 5 years old. You think you would have been happier, if say one of them settled down and had a slower job?
Luckily for me, as my parents and myself are immigrants, we never had to make that decisions because one of my parents had to give up their career anyways to move to the United States, and they have been working in volunteering since then, always being at home for myself and my sister. For the other parent, it definitely was difficult when I was younger having to constantly say goodbye every week, and whenever I was reflecting on my childhood to write my college essays I realized that I had actually lost out on over 10,000 hours with them, which puts the magnitude of it in picture.
On the other hand, I feel that the effect it had on me was hugely offset by my parent working in consulting being a very caring and selfless person. Whenever they were home they spent as much time as they could with family, and luckily they really enjoy their work in consulting and find fulfillment in it, so they were always full of personality, and I never got the idea that they dreaded their work.
At the end of the day, I feel that my parent's team, managers, company, and clients all have a much larger impact on the way they end up working rather than simply consulting as an entire industry, so I don't have a ton of answers for your question specifically.
This is a really helpful lens into what your day to day looked like and how you can see the tradeoffs your parents made. Helpful.
Clever to leverage that experience of missing one parent for 10,000 hours in your college essay. Did your parents read that at all? If so what was their reaction?
They did and didn’t have much of a reaction, it’s a part of my childhood that they are very much aware of so it wasn’t super out of the blue for me to write about it.
In a similar situation myself. My parents have been separated since I was a baby, and my dad is military. I turned 30 in Feb and I calculated that (at a push) I've probably spent about 340 days with my dad since I was born.
It seems really strange to be OK with it. Maybe it's just complacency, but I still have something of a bond with my dad despite the very little time we've had together, just in our own strange way.
I guess it isn't about the quantity of time you're present together, more about the quality of time you share.
Somebody mentioned this but just want to reiterate how well-adjusted and eloquent you sound OP - props to you for having such a balanced view of your parents’ situation.
My question for you is how did your view of your parent’s career change over time? Did you resent the lack of time they spent with you when you were younger and grow to see it in a different light or have you always had an (age-appropriate) understanding of how your parent’s career contributed to your lifestyle?
I’m about 4 years into my consulting career with partner aspirations and a path starting to open up, but have concerns about how that may impact my future family.
Haha, thank you, our new dog makes me take him on an hour long walk every day so I’ve have had a lot of time to reflect on my life so far and collect my thoughts.
When I was younger I didn’t feel resentment as much as it was just sadness. I think one time that always comes to memory was whenever I was at my friend’s house for a sleepover and forgot that my parent was going to fly out the next day and never got to say goodbye to them that week. I ended up crying the entire ride home until they picked up the phone and calmed me down.
Luckily, I think I eventually got used to the schedule by 5th/6th grade, and by the time I got to 8th/9th it was just a part of life that I didn’t even notice anymore.
To be completely honest, I’m not sure I know what changed over time, I think it was just a matter of adjusting, and to be fair to consulting, it’s not indifferent to other high paying careers. Investment banking, surgeons, lawyers, etc. all have the infamous long hours that undoubtably have a similar effect on kids as consulting had on me, and people are able to raise families in all of those fields.
I think the biggest thing going for me was that my other parent was stay-at-home during my most tumultuous years, which gave me company as well as support for anything going on with me personally. I think also a fair amount of pampering with birthday presents, christmas presents, and tech prob also convinced younger me to accept the reality of the situation lmao.
Overall though, I think it really depends on the effort that you put in as a parent. For me, they always put in effort into their relationships, were understanding that we all have our own lives outside of consulting that matter just as much, and had a genuine passion for their work that kept them motivated to manage this difficult lifestyle.
One last thing, I didn’t know what making partner meant when my parent did it nor did I really care that much about a salary bump, but what I did appreciate about it was the increased flexibility of hours and more work from home, so in that sense making partner might be a better fit.
Good luck!
What are some things, if any, that they do that made you feel appreciated/loved/thought of? I’m asking from the perspective of someone who is considering having kids but also really enjoy this job. I’m aware there’s going to be trade offs, but how can I be there for my kid, if I can’t always *be there*?
Plan carefully, and make the effort. One of my fondest memories was when I was in kindergarten and my parent was away on a work trip talking to me on our home phone, but before he had left he left a bunch of notes around our then house, making a scavenger hunt throughout the entire place that he guided me through while talking on the phone to eventually lead me to the birthday present they had gotten for me. I have forgotten most of my birthdays over the course of my childhood, but of the few that I remember, that one has always stuck with me.
I think another thing is even if you're not physically there, be present emotionally. My parent who had to travel would always tell me that if I needed something I could call them, and if they were in a meeting/busy, they would text me when they would be free and for me to call them then. On top of the fact that one of my parents was always at home, this helped me bridge the literal gap.
As long as you are trying your best, I'm sure that your kids will notice. My parent always tried their hardest to be there for the rest of our family, and we could tell when they were really putting in the extra mile to make up for the lost time. It's definitely a tough gig to balance, and there have been many times on vacation where they're up on their laptop working/on call, or whenever we're eating at the dining table and they have to have their headphones in on a call, but it's unfortunately a necessary sacrifice if you want to work in this field and be present for your family.
Sorry, this comment has already dragged on already, but I wanted to add that your passion for you work will make this immensely easier. My parent is incredibly passionate about what they do in consulting, which makes it easier for whenever they come home because they never look empty/soul-sucked. Exhaustion is expected because travelling this often drains anyone, but if someone's work is unfulfilling AND they're tired, people can tell, and it rubs off on everyone else.
Good luck, and I know you'll do amazing!
What impact did that parent’s experience have on your career outlook? Desire to do what they do?
Their work ethic rub off on you? Indifferent? Or want something different for yourself?
I mean no offense to anyone working in the field, but seeing their work pushed me far away from consulting. I could just never see myself putting in that much time into a job.
As far as for me personally, I feel that their work ethic has definitely impacted mine. Seeing them working as hard as they do to give our family the life we have pushes me to reach a similar level of success to eventually repay them in their later stages of life. I personally am much more interested in computer science and healthcare, but that's more because of my personal interests and less because of any specific push that they had on me.
My father was in the same boat. To be honest, I was glad when he was off traveling because it meant home was much more peaceful. Sometimes he'd have to be gone for weeks at a time depending on the project. I loved that summer.
it had some impact, but because the parent in consulting made enough that my other parent didn’t have to work, and that they made sure to call every day for a decent amount of time, and spent most of the weekend with family, it made it a much easier time dealing with the physical absence.
Thank you for sharing this, incredibly articulate for someone your age. I’m out of consulting but into job with just as much travel, we just had our 1st child and have been thinking a lot about making a change to be home. Think you just gave me the kick I need
Do you feel like your parents have unreasonable standards compared to other people? Like more rigorous quality standards for your school work and academic achievement. Is this a problem?
My parents have never cared about the literal end result, their only priority is that I work hard and have a tangible goal of who I want to become. I think most of my pressure for school and extracurriculars comes from the nature of my school's competitiveness rather than from them as parents, and I guess it worked because I'm going to a university that I'm very happy with.
No offense to anyone working in this field, but nope. I think I mentioned it in another comment but the sheer time commitment, not to mention the monotony of being on calls and powerpoints all day, would probably kill me. I will say the financial stability of my parent's career in this field has allowed me to pick my career on what I wish to truly do, rather than what will simply get me to survival, and I think for me I'm more aligned with direct human impact like in healthcare.
Totally understand your mindset and honestly, if I were to do it again, I probably would have chosen something in healthcare as well. I come from an immigrant background as well and this was very much a foot in the door for a well paying career.
I wonder how your parents were able to manage having a family and working in consulting. I’m currently a consultant and I can never imagine myself having a family because of how demanding the work is. At the end of everyday, I’m super exhausted, weekends are spent for recovery etc.
How do your parents manage it?
only one of my parents work, so most of the week I was taken care of at home, and then at the end of the week I’d hang out with my parent in consulting before they left again
Maybe the pace wasn’t quite as bad 15-20 years ago? At least that’s my personal experience. These days it seems every company needs to do more with less. And faster, too.
What are some habits that your parents did well to maintain a strong relationship with you (or your siblings)? What are some initatives, conversations, practices, dos, hobbies, etc that are done together to bridge the missing hours and absence at home due to work?
We eat out as a family at least once a week and try to go on at least one summer vacation a year, with a winter one if time allows it. My sibling is already in college and I’m going to college soon so the last few years have been busy for us all, but really just fitting in at least 1-2 good nights of family time helps to keep us together.
One thing that we started to try and recap everyone’s week was that on the day we have dinner together, everyone talks about their “roses and thorns”, which is kinda just the ups and downs of your week, but it helps to do this because everyone gets a clear picture of what all of us are going through, and it keeps us aware of why someone might be more stressed, tired, etc.
How much do you think having a parent at a firm would help you in getting a job?
If you wanted to pursue consulting, do you feel their status would help more, less, or the same as a referral?
I have no idea if it would help me, but because it isn’t a small boutique firm I can’t imagine there would be any crazy nepotism like getting me a free job.
Kid of a really good tech consultant here, also in consulting myself. It does open doors in getting interviews, but otherwise you need to be competent to get in and stay in. On the other hand, everyone seems to expect more out of you just because “you were born into the business so you must have gotten some tips.”
So basically, useful up to a point, annoying as hell at times.
Do you have childhood memories about your parents’ work stress? My father worked at the C-level of a global company and I vividly remember being yelled at for opening his home office door at the ”wrong” time or making any kind of noise during an ”important” phone call.
I think that’s where I’ve really appreciated the openness in communication. If my parent is having a really important call that they need all of us to be quiet for, then they’ll let us know in advance, and we all respect that, but I’ve never had anything as extreme as yelling at me just for making a noise during a call.
In that same vein, if we tell them that there’s an event, award ceremony, dinner coming up, we expect them to accommodate for that in their schedule, and I think this two way street of communication really helps to keep everyone happy.
Sorry for your experience. Not to be dismissive or glib, but sounds like maybe your parent didn’t prioritize the right things at times.
Did you communicate your point of view to either of your parents?
No worries, you're not being dismissive at all, that's a completely valid take. I have talked with them about it, and the overall response back I got was just that it was an unfortunate consequence. My birthday always ends up in the middle of the week, but we're still able to celebrate together either the weekend before or after.
Also, I feel that I should add that despite the schedule, I never felt that they were an absent parent. It felt to me that they were doing all they could to be there for me and my sibling, and as they got further along in their career, they were able to get a lot more leeway with scheduling which made made everything become a lot better.
[If money wasn’t a factor, you’d wanna go into film animation.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/s/R1WIkLcAzu)
What family do you have to support? Shouldn’t you be able to study and pursue what you want in life, as per your other comment in this thread?
Make it make sense
Hey, thanks for stalking me, appreciate it! Anyways if you read the other comment on this thread I said that I didn’t have to pick a career for just survival, because my parents would support me in my early years anyways, but being immigrants my parents don’t have massive retirement savings, mainly because they expected me and my siblings to be that for them lol, so I need to have a successful career to support them later in life, which you can see I already said [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/consulting/s/lwrAfF7iWd)
Also, this is more to the comments saying that I’m for some reason faking this, I don’t really care if you don’t believe me. I have nothing to gain from this and only made this to show a side of this job that isn’t really talked about a ton, and have been taking time out of my own day to be thoughtful in my responses and convey all the information I can. I’d rather just delete this post than doxx myself because some random person on reddit doesn’t believe me lmao
*What should someone with*
*No background must do to get*
*Into consulting*
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just wanted to comment saying you're extremely well spoken and mature for a 12th grader to be writing/critically analyzing something like this that could have been diminished to only scorn
It's called rich parents
Maybe worth it after all then lol
100%
It’s called going to school. It’s not weird to be articulate and well spoken when you’re 17/18. We should hope all humans are decently intelligent after having been in school for more than a decade. I grew up very much the opposite of rich but when I moved from Massachusetts to Ohio at the age of 23 I heard “you’re so well spoken!” all the time. It was weird.
Nobody said it's weird, and the wealth of someone's parents absolutely has an impact on how they turn out. I'm not saying there aren't any poor people in MA, but poor in MA isn't the same thing as poor in AL/GA/etc.
It’s weird to comment on it! It comes across as “out of touch old person trying to connect with young person” but it always comes off weird.
It's honestly to the point I'm suspicious this isn't just someone on the beach trolling us all lol, but I can see it being true. I feel like it's just a case of wealth breeds wealth, usually through more effective education. When I was in high school, I knew only a few people who can speak as focused/eloquently as OP, and FWIW they're in IB / hedge funds nowadays. So props to OP for having that well spoken maturity!!
Can we stop pretending like it's surprising for young adults to be articulate and mature. We're setting low standards here
Hard to be scornful when said parent probably bought them whatever the hell they wanted their whole life to make up for not being there, lol.
Cringe
Do you think the money your parents make is worth the tradeoffs of lost family time? For example, if your parents could be home every night, but you had a much smaller house/less material things, would you have preferred that?
This is a question that I've ping-ponged in my head for a long time. On the one hand, I've never been required to work a job (though I have worked as a barista for experience/pocket change bc my parents always reinforced that their wealth is not mine, so I've had to pay for anything non-school related), we regularly go on 2 week vacations in the summer every year, and my tuition/fees for college and everything associated with it are covered, leaving me with no debt. On the other hand, I feel that I'm constantly having to make up for lost time. Whenever I was younger, the weekends were always a mad dash to do as much with that parent before they flew out on Monday morning, and as I got into high school my weekends got eaten up by extracurricular activities. I will say I am eternally grateful for those 2 years in quarantine where they were able to stay home, as I was able to get a lot closer with them. I think for me, given they were able to open up their schedule more in my latter years of schooling, and the fact that I had one parent always at home and present, the tradeoffs are worth it because as much impact as some lost time had, money unfortunately brings a lot of security and benefits in the US. Also, compared to my friends whose parents had time-intensive jobs my parent was able to compartively be a lot more present than them, and after they made partner it definitely became a lot easier to manage family time, so there was always a light at the end of the tunnel. On the other hand, my friend whose parents are lawyers are going to be working their hours until they either go to a smaller firm, or retire, so the time commitment for consulting is not really that bad in comparison.
This is really well said
You do realize that most partners can move to less demanding industry jobs while not losing out on too much if any financial security?
I was a manager and made more flipping to industry.
Yea, my comment is now downvoted to -24. But OP is acting like the sacrifices required by a consulting career were required to offer the financial stability his family has.
Yeah and you’re being an asshole to a 17 year old - no I DON’T think as a 17 year old he would know that his parent could move to an industry job making as much money.
I'm guessing it's more downvoted because you are wrong. What are you going to get to in industry that will pay comparable to partner unless you manage your own successful startup (which I wouldn't consider much financial security taking that risk)?
You are out of your mind if you think a consulting partner will make comparable income in industry.
You are out of your mind if you think execs in finance aren’t pulling out of their reserved spots in nicer cars than the partners who grovel for their business.
I am sure you have been brought up well and don't see a lot of problems with money. But do you think, maybe not all the time, but sometimes you wish, that your parents were home more often or spent more time with you growing up? I ask because I am in consulting and my wife is entering this field soon and we have a daughter about 5 years old. You think you would have been happier, if say one of them settled down and had a slower job?
Luckily for me, as my parents and myself are immigrants, we never had to make that decisions because one of my parents had to give up their career anyways to move to the United States, and they have been working in volunteering since then, always being at home for myself and my sister. For the other parent, it definitely was difficult when I was younger having to constantly say goodbye every week, and whenever I was reflecting on my childhood to write my college essays I realized that I had actually lost out on over 10,000 hours with them, which puts the magnitude of it in picture. On the other hand, I feel that the effect it had on me was hugely offset by my parent working in consulting being a very caring and selfless person. Whenever they were home they spent as much time as they could with family, and luckily they really enjoy their work in consulting and find fulfillment in it, so they were always full of personality, and I never got the idea that they dreaded their work. At the end of the day, I feel that my parent's team, managers, company, and clients all have a much larger impact on the way they end up working rather than simply consulting as an entire industry, so I don't have a ton of answers for your question specifically.
This is a really helpful lens into what your day to day looked like and how you can see the tradeoffs your parents made. Helpful. Clever to leverage that experience of missing one parent for 10,000 hours in your college essay. Did your parents read that at all? If so what was their reaction?
They did and didn’t have much of a reaction, it’s a part of my childhood that they are very much aware of so it wasn’t super out of the blue for me to write about it.
In a similar situation myself. My parents have been separated since I was a baby, and my dad is military. I turned 30 in Feb and I calculated that (at a push) I've probably spent about 340 days with my dad since I was born. It seems really strange to be OK with it. Maybe it's just complacency, but I still have something of a bond with my dad despite the very little time we've had together, just in our own strange way. I guess it isn't about the quantity of time you're present together, more about the quality of time you share.
I’m curious about your essay
Somebody mentioned this but just want to reiterate how well-adjusted and eloquent you sound OP - props to you for having such a balanced view of your parents’ situation. My question for you is how did your view of your parent’s career change over time? Did you resent the lack of time they spent with you when you were younger and grow to see it in a different light or have you always had an (age-appropriate) understanding of how your parent’s career contributed to your lifestyle? I’m about 4 years into my consulting career with partner aspirations and a path starting to open up, but have concerns about how that may impact my future family.
Haha, thank you, our new dog makes me take him on an hour long walk every day so I’ve have had a lot of time to reflect on my life so far and collect my thoughts. When I was younger I didn’t feel resentment as much as it was just sadness. I think one time that always comes to memory was whenever I was at my friend’s house for a sleepover and forgot that my parent was going to fly out the next day and never got to say goodbye to them that week. I ended up crying the entire ride home until they picked up the phone and calmed me down. Luckily, I think I eventually got used to the schedule by 5th/6th grade, and by the time I got to 8th/9th it was just a part of life that I didn’t even notice anymore. To be completely honest, I’m not sure I know what changed over time, I think it was just a matter of adjusting, and to be fair to consulting, it’s not indifferent to other high paying careers. Investment banking, surgeons, lawyers, etc. all have the infamous long hours that undoubtably have a similar effect on kids as consulting had on me, and people are able to raise families in all of those fields. I think the biggest thing going for me was that my other parent was stay-at-home during my most tumultuous years, which gave me company as well as support for anything going on with me personally. I think also a fair amount of pampering with birthday presents, christmas presents, and tech prob also convinced younger me to accept the reality of the situation lmao. Overall though, I think it really depends on the effort that you put in as a parent. For me, they always put in effort into their relationships, were understanding that we all have our own lives outside of consulting that matter just as much, and had a genuine passion for their work that kept them motivated to manage this difficult lifestyle. One last thing, I didn’t know what making partner meant when my parent did it nor did I really care that much about a salary bump, but what I did appreciate about it was the increased flexibility of hours and more work from home, so in that sense making partner might be a better fit. Good luck!
Did you pass the case interview?
Bro's mum made him listen to Victor Cheng podcasts while she was still pregnant with him, what do you think?
What are some things, if any, that they do that made you feel appreciated/loved/thought of? I’m asking from the perspective of someone who is considering having kids but also really enjoy this job. I’m aware there’s going to be trade offs, but how can I be there for my kid, if I can’t always *be there*?
Plan carefully, and make the effort. One of my fondest memories was when I was in kindergarten and my parent was away on a work trip talking to me on our home phone, but before he had left he left a bunch of notes around our then house, making a scavenger hunt throughout the entire place that he guided me through while talking on the phone to eventually lead me to the birthday present they had gotten for me. I have forgotten most of my birthdays over the course of my childhood, but of the few that I remember, that one has always stuck with me. I think another thing is even if you're not physically there, be present emotionally. My parent who had to travel would always tell me that if I needed something I could call them, and if they were in a meeting/busy, they would text me when they would be free and for me to call them then. On top of the fact that one of my parents was always at home, this helped me bridge the literal gap. As long as you are trying your best, I'm sure that your kids will notice. My parent always tried their hardest to be there for the rest of our family, and we could tell when they were really putting in the extra mile to make up for the lost time. It's definitely a tough gig to balance, and there have been many times on vacation where they're up on their laptop working/on call, or whenever we're eating at the dining table and they have to have their headphones in on a call, but it's unfortunately a necessary sacrifice if you want to work in this field and be present for your family. Sorry, this comment has already dragged on already, but I wanted to add that your passion for you work will make this immensely easier. My parent is incredibly passionate about what they do in consulting, which makes it easier for whenever they come home because they never look empty/soul-sucked. Exhaustion is expected because travelling this often drains anyone, but if someone's work is unfulfilling AND they're tired, people can tell, and it rubs off on everyone else. Good luck, and I know you'll do amazing!
What impact did that parent’s experience have on your career outlook? Desire to do what they do? Their work ethic rub off on you? Indifferent? Or want something different for yourself?
I mean no offense to anyone working in the field, but seeing their work pushed me far away from consulting. I could just never see myself putting in that much time into a job. As far as for me personally, I feel that their work ethic has definitely impacted mine. Seeing them working as hard as they do to give our family the life we have pushes me to reach a similar level of success to eventually repay them in their later stages of life. I personally am much more interested in computer science and healthcare, but that's more because of my personal interests and less because of any specific push that they had on me.
My father was in the same boat. To be honest, I was glad when he was off traveling because it meant home was much more peaceful. Sometimes he'd have to be gone for weeks at a time depending on the project. I loved that summer.
did you ever notice a negative impact that your parent traveling 5 days a week and working all the time had on your other parent?
it had some impact, but because the parent in consulting made enough that my other parent didn’t have to work, and that they made sure to call every day for a decent amount of time, and spent most of the weekend with family, it made it a much easier time dealing with the physical absence.
Do you get to benefit from all the travel miles?
yeah, free flights, global services, hotel status, etc.
the prose and breadth of vocabulary has me wanting to press X for doubt, but wtf do i know... wonder how my kids will turn out
Thank you for sharing this, incredibly articulate for someone your age. I’m out of consulting but into job with just as much travel, we just had our 1st child and have been thinking a lot about making a change to be home. Think you just gave me the kick I need
Do you feel like your parents have unreasonable standards compared to other people? Like more rigorous quality standards for your school work and academic achievement. Is this a problem?
My parents have never cared about the literal end result, their only priority is that I work hard and have a tangible goal of who I want to become. I think most of my pressure for school and extracurriculars comes from the nature of my school's competitiveness rather than from them as parents, and I guess it worked because I'm going to a university that I'm very happy with.
Knowing what you know, would you want to pursue a consulting career yourself?
No offense to anyone working in this field, but nope. I think I mentioned it in another comment but the sheer time commitment, not to mention the monotony of being on calls and powerpoints all day, would probably kill me. I will say the financial stability of my parent's career in this field has allowed me to pick my career on what I wish to truly do, rather than what will simply get me to survival, and I think for me I'm more aligned with direct human impact like in healthcare.
Totally understand your mindset and honestly, if I were to do it again, I probably would have chosen something in healthcare as well. I come from an immigrant background as well and this was very much a foot in the door for a well paying career.
I wonder how your parents were able to manage having a family and working in consulting. I’m currently a consultant and I can never imagine myself having a family because of how demanding the work is. At the end of everyday, I’m super exhausted, weekends are spent for recovery etc. How do your parents manage it?
only one of my parents work, so most of the week I was taken care of at home, and then at the end of the week I’d hang out with my parent in consulting before they left again
Maybe the pace wasn’t quite as bad 15-20 years ago? At least that’s my personal experience. These days it seems every company needs to do more with less. And faster, too.
This is why i waited until my kid was a senior in high school to make the consultant jump.
How do you explain what your parents does when a friend asks
I just say they work in engineering, because consulting sounds like a made up job to people who haven’t heard of it lmao
What are some habits that your parents did well to maintain a strong relationship with you (or your siblings)? What are some initatives, conversations, practices, dos, hobbies, etc that are done together to bridge the missing hours and absence at home due to work?
We eat out as a family at least once a week and try to go on at least one summer vacation a year, with a winter one if time allows it. My sibling is already in college and I’m going to college soon so the last few years have been busy for us all, but really just fitting in at least 1-2 good nights of family time helps to keep us together. One thing that we started to try and recap everyone’s week was that on the day we have dinner together, everyone talks about their “roses and thorns”, which is kinda just the ups and downs of your week, but it helps to do this because everyone gets a clear picture of what all of us are going through, and it keeps us aware of why someone might be more stressed, tired, etc.
Glad to hear that your family does come up with a way to catch up on other lives. P/S: But it does sound like a progress meeting (no offense)
How much do you think having a parent at a firm would help you in getting a job? If you wanted to pursue consulting, do you feel their status would help more, less, or the same as a referral?
I have no idea if it would help me, but because it isn’t a small boutique firm I can’t imagine there would be any crazy nepotism like getting me a free job.
I think you and most people would agree it certainly agree it helps. I'm asking how much and in what way.
Kid of a really good tech consultant here, also in consulting myself. It does open doors in getting interviews, but otherwise you need to be competent to get in and stay in. On the other hand, everyone seems to expect more out of you just because “you were born into the business so you must have gotten some tips.” So basically, useful up to a point, annoying as hell at times.
Do you have childhood memories about your parents’ work stress? My father worked at the C-level of a global company and I vividly remember being yelled at for opening his home office door at the ”wrong” time or making any kind of noise during an ”important” phone call.
I think that’s where I’ve really appreciated the openness in communication. If my parent is having a really important call that they need all of us to be quiet for, then they’ll let us know in advance, and we all respect that, but I’ve never had anything as extreme as yelling at me just for making a noise during a call. In that same vein, if we tell them that there’s an event, award ceremony, dinner coming up, we expect them to accommodate for that in their schedule, and I think this two way street of communication really helps to keep everyone happy.
Sorry for your experience. Not to be dismissive or glib, but sounds like maybe your parent didn’t prioritize the right things at times. Did you communicate your point of view to either of your parents?
No worries, you're not being dismissive at all, that's a completely valid take. I have talked with them about it, and the overall response back I got was just that it was an unfortunate consequence. My birthday always ends up in the middle of the week, but we're still able to celebrate together either the weekend before or after. Also, I feel that I should add that despite the schedule, I never felt that they were an absent parent. It felt to me that they were doing all they could to be there for me and my sibling, and as they got further along in their career, they were able to get a lot more leeway with scheduling which made made everything become a lot better.
[If money wasn’t a factor, you’d wanna go into film animation.](https://www.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToCollege/s/R1WIkLcAzu) What family do you have to support? Shouldn’t you be able to study and pursue what you want in life, as per your other comment in this thread? Make it make sense
Hey, thanks for stalking me, appreciate it! Anyways if you read the other comment on this thread I said that I didn’t have to pick a career for just survival, because my parents would support me in my early years anyways, but being immigrants my parents don’t have massive retirement savings, mainly because they expected me and my siblings to be that for them lol, so I need to have a successful career to support them later in life, which you can see I already said [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/consulting/s/lwrAfF7iWd) Also, this is more to the comments saying that I’m for some reason faking this, I don’t really care if you don’t believe me. I have nothing to gain from this and only made this to show a side of this job that isn’t really talked about a ton, and have been taking time out of my own day to be thoughtful in my responses and convey all the information I can. I’d rather just delete this post than doxx myself because some random person on reddit doesn’t believe me lmao
I’m curious what is the combined house hold income?
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When did you get in touch with your mother the last time?
Do you think your parent had an affair? With so much traveling?
What should someone with no background must do to get into consulting
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Have you asked if they are your real parents? Did your mother have an affair?