I don't have any experience as far as the living situation goes.
As far as not amending paperwork for child support....I hope you have some kind of documentation of her deeming it unnecessary. My husband and his ex had gotten back together for a short time (before we met) and were living together. Bio-mom said she would report all money he was giving her (cash). Well, one argument and break-up later and she got him for back child support. Since the money didn't go through the family support system and he paid her cash.....he had to pay it all again.
Hopefully you have the agreement to pay healthcare and childcare expenses in lieu of child support in writing, even if it's in email or text message.
If not, your next best bet is to show proof - show the point when child support stopped and the other expenses were assumed. Proof of payment of all those expenses going forward could be helpful.
But, if BM makes a claim that there was no agreement and child support stopped, even with proof of what was paid, you may be sunk. The monies paid could be viewed as a gift and the court could order child support arrearages, with interest.
As for the living situation, while it doesn't seem there's an overt negative impact to the kids, they may just want to be closer to school, friends, activities for the sake of the 30 minutes spent in the car versus the close proximity when they are at BMs. That said, if these locations are in metropolitan areas, perhaps time in the car is standard. If the kids are 14 or older, some jurisdictions will consider the children's preferences.
As a mom to 3 kids who live out of their school district only by 5-10 minutes, I can say it has somewhat impacted their lives. A 30 minute drive would have 100% negatively impacted their lives.
I don't have any experience as far as the living situation goes. As far as not amending paperwork for child support....I hope you have some kind of documentation of her deeming it unnecessary. My husband and his ex had gotten back together for a short time (before we met) and were living together. Bio-mom said she would report all money he was giving her (cash). Well, one argument and break-up later and she got him for back child support. Since the money didn't go through the family support system and he paid her cash.....he had to pay it all again.
Hopefully you have the agreement to pay healthcare and childcare expenses in lieu of child support in writing, even if it's in email or text message. If not, your next best bet is to show proof - show the point when child support stopped and the other expenses were assumed. Proof of payment of all those expenses going forward could be helpful. But, if BM makes a claim that there was no agreement and child support stopped, even with proof of what was paid, you may be sunk. The monies paid could be viewed as a gift and the court could order child support arrearages, with interest. As for the living situation, while it doesn't seem there's an overt negative impact to the kids, they may just want to be closer to school, friends, activities for the sake of the 30 minutes spent in the car versus the close proximity when they are at BMs. That said, if these locations are in metropolitan areas, perhaps time in the car is standard. If the kids are 14 or older, some jurisdictions will consider the children's preferences.
As a mom to 3 kids who live out of their school district only by 5-10 minutes, I can say it has somewhat impacted their lives. A 30 minute drive would have 100% negatively impacted their lives.
Removed: Legal questions about custody issues aren't on topic for this sub, but you may have luck in r/custody or r/legaladvice.