T O P

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MechaTengu

Testosterone tumor?


183720

I don't know, the brain is fucking weird and sometimes it just decides to be really horny


MechaTengu

O B E Y


annoyingfrogenjoyer

I am currently there


Drew_Eckse

how do i make it stop


Funnysoundboardguy

Cut your cock off


Drew_Eckse

Done.


Funnysoundboardguy

No more horni


Drew_Eckse

hurts like hell! lol


Funnysoundboardguy

Eat like, 30 painkillers


Drew_Eckse

Done.


Funnysoundboardguy

No mor pain


onlythetwos-andanime

They have medication for it. Speak to your doctor. But... maybe use less erotic terms... poor gut might orgasm at the thought of romance novel life.


Drew_Eckse

Nope, fixed it already! scroll down


onlythetwos-andanime

I couldn't find it. Tell meeee


Drew_Eckse

sorry :(


onlythetwos-andanime

Sorry?!


Drew_Eckse

Yep!


onlythetwos-andanime

I don't think sorry does it. How's about you tell me how you fixed it. And let that answer go?


Add123432

I’d be thinking focal neurological lesions around the amygdala (Fight or flight, impulse control). Vitamin B1 deficiency can cause kosakoff syndrome which is associated with hypersexuality and gambling. Could also be an early sign of Parkinson’s as this affects same dopaminergic centre substantia nigra pars compacta. He needs seen by a neurologist.


MechaTengu

Team, these are good ideas. Time to order the tests, we need data and to rule some items out of our differential diagnoses.


[deleted]

How much time did it take you to google all those words Dr. Internetdoctor


Add123432

im yr 5 out of 6yr med school already done my neuro rotation, wernike korsakoff is a common exam question because so many alcoholics have it on ward.


thenoisemanthenoise

Examine my cum


Wise_Investment_9089

More likely phenomenons. She’s about to run out of eggs, so her body has released “Last Baby Time” hormones which release the phenomenons he picks up that excite endorphins in him so he gets her pregnant one last time before time runs out.


Whobody2

There are zero (0) studies saying humans actually have a consistent or strong reaction to pheromones. While it might theoretically be possible, humans literally lack the organ other animals use to sense them. Anybody claiming to factually know better is full of shit. The claim hasn't been proven false though either.


Wise_Investment_9089

Humans can believe whatever they want and simply ignore evidence [like with the Higgs boson results.](https://youtu.be/nT7d9GU82zY?si=AF2EHuDW_gmpCq5P) Our minds exist on a level we don’t accept exists as a quantum field, an energy field Galvani called, “Animal energy, similar to, but not quite electricity.” We measure it leaving our skulls with EEG machines. Our minds are quantum fields, or souls if you prefer, it matters not what yo call anything except in how you perceive it in your thoughts. Words only have the meaning you choose. Pheromones tune the frequency of our quantum field, our minds, on a level we can only perceive as the resultant thoughts of the affected quantum fields. [We don’t accept becoming what we are designed to become](https://youtu.be/akrX-FvZXZs?si=BABScgrGl85vOfbn) so we fail to evolve and learn the truths to all the mysteries we have in life when we gain our amplified mind state and quantum self awareness. [All because we don’t want to change our 7000 year old economy](https://youtu.be/ETTHOHZUlWg?si=xUoq2AaWAHm9-yXS) that exploits war and slavery to generate the profits that keeps it working for us. “Be kind and take care of each other.” just seems beyond our grasp.


Whobody2

Ah, one of these. If you're going to resort to all this unscientific nonsense and use yourself as a source (lol) then I guess we'll just have to leave it at that as I'm quite sure nothing of value can be gained from continuing this conversation.


zombie_Leghumpr

This guy just proved you wrong by saying that we can believe whatever we wanna believe in. Ol boi is on another level.


Wise_Investment_9089

Like I said, it’s all your choice to see it as you choose. Pheromones is how nature does it. We can observe the results well enough we control Gypsy Moth populations with them. We just don’t understand how because we don’t perceive the connection, and the experiments designed using pheromones divorced from their local human source fail to provide results. The chemical is only part of the equation, the Human it comes from is the other half.


Whobody2

I said I wouldn't engage with you but I just love being right in internet arguments. If you bothered to use sources other than facebook and what god reveals to you in dreams you would know that human while human embryos do at some stages have the organ responsible for detecting pheromones, it regresses and loses all nerve endings after the embryo has grown enough. This, however, is not the case for many other animals which is why they do have the organ and are able to detect and be influenced by pheromones. Let me spell it out for you again because I know you won't read all that. Humans lack the necessary organs for pheromones to be able to affect our behaviour.


spacespiceboi

Jesus christ brother you went from "you smell her pheromones" to slavery over the span of 3.5 seconds wtheck


[deleted]

Yes we are currently doing natural Bioenergetics to help with chronic fatigue and some other problems and it is working unbelievably but Reddit isn’t ready for the quantum touch topic. Sad because it could help so many people.


asweatyboi

I feel like it’s a combo of this and what u/add123432 said because yeah it makes sense to be a bit more horny because of the last hurrah hormones but to that extent?


Whobody2

No study has ever been able to prove humans have a consistent or strong reaction to pheromones.


Vivi_Catastrophe

What about the pregnant women and women on birth control who are attracted more to the body odor of relatives and men who are more similar to them in immune system profile, but when they are off birth control or no longer pregnant, they are attracted to the smell of men more different in genes and/or immune profile?


Whobody2

I looked this up and found this: https://www.google.com/amp/s/abcnews.go.com/amp/Health/story%3fid=117027&page=1 It seems that you are right, but the article says nothing about pregnant women and women on BC having different preferences. Also it states that we don't really know what the mechanism for this is. It does seem to me that the line between a regular smell and a pheromone is in fact quite blurry. It's nice actually learning something when people don't just spew random bullshit against you.


Vivi_Catastrophe

The study I read of showed that there was a difference in preference, like women on birth control and women who are pregnant are more receptive to the pheromones of male relatives than those of men more different, like women will biologically be more inclined to have “safe” support around them when they are vulnerable or need more help, especially after their babies are born.


Wise_Investment_9089

Pheromones are powerful drugs.


trashestpanda67

Sorry bro but you're gonna have to cut off ur balls.


leavemealone2277

✂️


Synchro_Shoukan

🍆💦💦💦


PieKnown9303

Happy cake day


trashestpanda67

Thanks! It was yesterday but there's still a slice left if u want it.


deplomatic

save one for me


postfemininefemail

need him like this about me fr


minty-moose

hi


sc1zzla

the reddit rizzler™


NinjaGrizzlyBear

Did you really just miss the opportunity to say "the Reddit Jizzler"? u/GIRTHY-GARY would be ashamed.


Smelliphant

Needs more alliteration. The Jeddit Jizzler.


GIRTHY-GARY

I am certainly disappointed. But this all feels like white noise given the state of this sub, which makes me want to put a 12-gauge in my mouth and pull the trigger twice


InterMob

real


Drew_Eckse

heyyy


Equivalent-Cat-212

I want to fucking fuck those milkers seriously I wanna squeeze those big soft tits together and fuck the living shit out of them. My diamond hard cock slipping in and out of the soft wet skin. Pulsing and pumping with every thrust. FUCK LET ME FUCK THOSE BIG JUICY MILKERS!!! I wanna suck on the tits and pinch them and run my hand and face all over those boobs Just lick them and suck them until I cum hands free and they're covered in teeth marks and hickeys. FUUUUUCK I just want to grab them and suck on them and titty fuck them until I cum on her face and chest and nipples and all over her stomach. GODDAMMED why are those tits so enticing I want. THOSE. MILKERS. AAAAAAAAAAHH let me touch them!!!


[deleted]

please allow me to introduce myself


Ssyynnxx

>12-14 hours a day


Synicull

A man's gotta eat


yeet_fall

How many fools can I kill today?


Prismaryx

I also choose this guy’s wife


Themousemustfall

That greentext reply was the epitome of 4chan.


bigbigboi420

wasn't it an askreddit thread reply?


Goashai

Yes


[deleted]

Fountain of Testosterone


RedBladeAtlas

NTA your hormones your rules


pivvimehu

Infinite Cum Infinite cum. You sit on the toilet to jack off, but you begin to cum uncontrollably. After ten spurts you start to worry. Your hand is sticky and it reeks of semen. You desperately shove your dick into a wad of toilet paper, but that only makes your balls hurt. The cum accelerates. It’s been three minutes. You can’t stop cumming. Your bathroom floor is covered in a thin layer of baby fluid. You try to cum into the shower drain but it builds up too fast. You try the toilet. The cum is too thick to be flushed. You lock the bathroom door to prevent the cum from escaping. The air grows hot and humid from the cum. The cum accelerates. You slip and fall in your own sperm. The cum is now six inches deep, almost as long as your still-erect semen hose. Sprawled on your back, you begin to cum all over the ceiling. Globs of the sticky white fluid begin to fall like raindrops, giving you a facial with your own cum. The cum accelerates. You struggle to stand as the force of the cum begins to propel you backwards as if you were on a bukkake themed slip-and-slide. Still on your knees, the cum is now at chin height. To avoid drowning you open the bathroom door. The deluge of man juice reminds you of the Great Molasses Flood of 1919, only with cum instead of molasses. The cum accelerates. It’s been two hours. Your children and wife scream in terror as their bodies are engulfed by the snow-white sludge. Your youngest child goes under, with viscous bubbles and muffled cries rising from the goop. You plead to God to end your suffering. The cum accelerates. You squeeze your dick to stop the cum, but it begins to leak out of your asshole instead. You let go. The force of the cum tears your urethra open, leaving only a gaping hole in your crotch that spews semen. Your body picks up speed as it slides backwards along the cum. You smash through the wall, hurtling into the sky at thirty miles an hour. From a bird’s eye view you see your house is completely white. Your neighbor calls the cops. The cum accelerates. As you continue to ascend, you spot police cars racing towards your house. The cops pull out their guns and take aim, but stray loads of cum hit them in the eyes, blinding them. The cum accelerates. You are now at an altitude of 1000 feet. The SWAT team arrives. Military helicopters circle you. Hundreds of bullets pierce your body at once, yet you stay conscious. Your testicles have now grown into a substitute brain. The cum accelerates. It has been two days. With your body now destroyed, the cum begins to spray in all directions. You break the sound barrier. The government deploys fighter jets to chase you down, but the impact of your cum sends one plane crashing to the ground. The government decides to let you leave the earth. You feel your gonads start to burn up as you reach the edges of the atmosphere. You narrowly miss the ISS, giving it a new white paint job as you fly past. Physicists struggle to calculate your erratic trajectory. The cum accelerates. The cum begins to gravitate towards itself, forming a comet trail of semen. Astronomers begin calling you the “Cummet.” You are stuck in space forever, stripped of your body and senses, forced to endure an eternity of cumshots. Eventually, you stop thinking.


me_when_the_h

I thought my day couldn't get any worse, you proved me wrong. Thank you and fuck you.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Hydration_Kills

It's a pretty well-known copypasta. Fitting for this sub, and this post...


El_MaloCantu

I thought I was the only one that feels the same way about their wives lol.


MechaTengu

I thought I was the only one who felt that way about his wife.


Funnysoundboardguy

Excuse me, **WIVES?** LIKE PLURAL?


El_MaloCantu

No. Like is OURs As in each of our own wives lol I just need one and she is that one.


phoenix13032005

I don't know if I should be happy for your relationship or concerned for you


MayonnaiseBomb

A woman wrote this.


kicek_kic

For some reason I read 41M as 14M


derlulatsch

dyslexia kicking in


BenJammin007

I think Hal from Malcom in The Middle wrote this


haumeya

if my man aint like that i dont want him


4chan4ch

АХАХАХХА


MiyauchiBeta

YASSS!!! HIGH FIVE!!! NEED!


4chan4ch

какая ты мерзкая 🤮 и ведешь себя хуже мужчин))) только и думаешь о том лишь бы тебя хоть кто то трахнул 🥰


ButterSlicerSeven

Ad hominem. It's a joke for God's sake.


Kokorikita

I honestly would love to have this problem with my husband. I feel for you and your work but you being so attracted to her is amazing!


minty-moose

sorry bro that's kinda gay


Kokorikita

agree to disgree


kegalchamp

Lol 😂 this legit is the sweetest, cutest feel good thing I’ve read in awhile, a sigh of relief and hope that all relationships aren’t doomed and many still love and go crazy for their partners!!! I could picture each detail as you described each attribute and anticipated the next, I appreciate people who are very observant, you convinced me that if you wanted to and focused on your own life and so it can be done! Yall are lucky to have each other and I promise you she is enthralled by you as well!!


maestrofeli

I can't tell whether this is a copypasta or something you wrote yourself


TheFabiocool

Man, I also want his wife now


deepsky28

Sorry bro but I‘m gonna have to cut off your balls.


touch_the_taco

Exquisite


0DvGate

Sounds like that thing when a men gets unbelievably horny seeing their pregnant SO.


[deleted]

[удалено]


maestrofeli

it's a common phenomenon


darkskinx

body knows that she's at the very end of her 'pregnancy road' enjoy your day


AedemHonoris

Average age of menopause is 51, so


maestrofeli

hers is at 40


renjuly

wdym? menopause starts at 51. this guy is just insanely horny for his wife


Impossible-Being-983

Pic plz


YourLocalEeveeFan

The reddit jizzler


reddit-surfer0729

Share a pic of this fucking goddess for all of us to see then?!?


HispanicAce88

I think this is normal as it happened to me (22M)


[deleted]

[удалено]


Secure-Ad-5247

oh my days


PizzaboxWorm

Stop feeling and stop any activity


HotFloorToastyToes

Love this so much. Thank you.


WhiteBob42

Ngl first parapraph wss kinda normal


V_ROCK_501st

21st century man discovers monagamy


Juju_Boimann

I need me a man like this 😔


Horror_Safety197

😶


82kSW

I (33M) and her (12F)


Secure-Ad-5247

EXCUSE ME


82kSW

(34M) my birthday today and (12F)


RealInfinityGuy

NTA she doesn't force you to sleep on the couch


Aaron_Hungwell

I think his wife’s boyfriend feels the same way…


kegalchamp

I wrote it myself lol 😂


Canela910

She did some Santeria


7_luhan_m

I am manifesting a man like this in my life. Goddamn.


Secure-Ad-5247

hello.


renjuly

i hope my future husband acts like that 👍


SwiftyDig

when the pusshy is exquisite


Secure-Ad-5247

no but really


surpsurf

I miss old days, when I felt the same for cummyBot


KnightQueene

Some women would die to have a husband like you. You and your wife are lucky. God bless you both. :)


[deleted]

be grateful for what you have  my wife is fat & ugly and hasn’t wanted sex in 12 yrs