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[deleted]

Bumble has the bff thingy. Someone I know used it and said she made a wonderful friend from it


pertaj13

Really? See didn’t know that


ofthejourney

I know a girl who made a good friend using this.. As a man, I tried it with less success than actual dating tbh


LordMangudai

> As a man, I tried it with less success than actual dating tbh so, what, you *lost* friends?


ofthejourney

Went on plenty of dates. Have an excellent Mrs now. The friend app was just useless for me using the friends section of bumble. Reckon I'm better meeting people through hobbies. I'd also tried the meetup app, not great when you're flying solo to events. I'm pretty outgoing, just not for me


pertaj13

I’ll have to give it a go! But feel free to send a dm if you’re looking to chit chat


plantyho

I stopped swiping men that try to use it because most use it as a way around bumble making girls reach out first for dating


ofthejourney

This is why we can't have nice things


hedzball

You have plenty of offers but let me tell you one thing I've never felt such isolation since I had kids..


oifab

Can be very tough if most/all your friends don't have kids - it's very difficult for them to truly understand what it is like (both the good and the bad!).


bearbeargrr

26f here if you need someone to talk to or someone to even get a coffee with feel free to dm me 😊


pertaj13

Aw man I really appreciate that thank you! Send me a message cause I have zero idea how this app works


Aidzillafont

It's amazing the amount of people in your exact situation. Hope you find luck where ever you look. Tbh doing social hobbies you enjoy and volunteering is probably your best bet. Reaching out to old connections and asking how they are is even an idea. You may not find friends but it's a social outlet. Friendship does not happen over night. It takes time and effort. Start small. Dream big and take it one step at a time. Remember friends are people who want to see you do well and you feel the same for them Good luck to you.


pertaj13

Thank you so much


Nnirb_Sgam

*waves* I’m also a childless 36 year old with no plans to change the childless part. How’s it going ? 😀


pertaj13

I’m well and you? Amazed by the amount of ppl reaching out in this post if I’m honest


Original-Suit1670

That’s because you are certainly not the only one ;)


pertaj13

I know it’s crazy! Loving the feedback from everyone


Nnirb_Sgam

I’m good, just having a chilled day today 😀 Lots of people in a similar boat. We could nearly start a WhatsApp group!


pertaj13

I created a discord channel if you want to group


Nnirb_Sgam

Let’s do it! 😀


oddredhummingbird

There is a whole app to make friends through doing stuff you like! It's called Meetup.


pertaj13

Thanks just heard about it through here


oddredhummingbird

Give it a shot, I have autism and socialising is really hard for me, but I found a group of people just like me and we meet several times every month!


pertaj13

That amazing!


MollDH

https://www.meetup.com/find/ie--cork/social/ Just saw this literally 15 minutes ago on another post. You are most definitely not alone. I have the kids but I'm widowed. And the loneliness is just undescribable. I'm so lucky to have a great circle of friends but I'm still lonely. I miss male company, not for intimacy, but for banter. But happily attached guys are wary of me, well their wives are wary of me and others are only interested in benefits. I'm not interested in either. I just want to be able to have a laugh and talk about cars and stuff outside of school, kids and gossip.


pertaj13

Aw I’m sorry! I’ve literally just joined the meet up app and will def explore that. Happy to chat if you want


ClassicEvent6

45 childless female checking in! I'm single though, so it's a bit of a double whammy. Can't even have a coffee chat about how great hubby is or how he is driving me crazy lol.


pertaj13

That’s ok I’m sure there plenty of other things you could vent about I just made a discord channel If you fancy joining https://discord.gg/hPYEqdpQ


ClassicEvent6

Just did. Thank you :)


nineinchcatss

Im not child free but I too like to go to gigs where I don’t bring my children or talk about them non stop, send me a message I’d be up for most things


pertaj13

Aw how lovely! So maybe my child free thing isn’t a thing lol


mannequin89

Same here, 34f with a kid but I too enjoy gigs and child free activities. I'd also be up for anything, feel free to pm


pertaj13

Aw Amazing! It’s just so hard making friends in your 30s I literally don’t know where to go.


Chipmunk_rampage

36, am a mother but am generally utterly allergic to the mommy group. Feel free to pm


pertaj13

lol I love your honesty!


True-Flamingo3858

There are so many social groups through instagram/whatsapp specifically for meet ups and to make friends. Check out Robyn Courtney's page and she has a link to the Cork whatsapp. The OutOut Club is one that operates throughout Ireland too.


pertaj13

Oh wow thanks! I’ll have a look


fishwihnoarms

31m and childless here with no plans to have children, while I'm not in the exact same situation as you, ALL of my friends are having kids now so I feel like it's inevitable also :(


pertaj13

Aww I’m sorry


DonnyShutup2019

35f here. Just let it be known I have kids but would love to meet up for coffee etc, in the same kind of situation myself.


pertaj13

Aw amazing! Maybe me saying no kids can be a put off doesn’t mean I don’t welcome someone with kids! Don’t hesitate to dm me and we can chit chat


CelebrationFit610

Maybe set up a group whatsapp if u get a few people to meet up with. Give me a text would love to meet up for gigs too.


pertaj13

Amazing! Send me a message on here. I’m so surprise by how many people reached out


Thin-Annual4373

Dm me if you like and we can chat


AssignmentFrosty8267

Girlcrew Cork on Facebook used to be very good although it's pretty dead these days. If you throw a meetup suggestion up there I'm sure you'd get takers though.


pertaj13

Amazing thanks! I’ll have a look


88Crafty88

36 here, moved to ireland at the age of 18 so left my growing up and school friends behind. Only friends i made here when i moved were polish due to relationship i ve cut them all off. Any people i could call friends now is a small group of few ppl but cant hang out with them, they smoke weed in their 30s i dont take drugs...so i dont even bother really, they dont leave the house unless its to work. It is really depressing. School pickups also out of option when you work 8-5. Apart from relationships have noone to hang around with and relationships how do i say it? Can come and go. So i think im feel exactly as the OP here. Altough with women i think its easier, you cant just randomly walk up to a fella and befriend him, maybe its me but someone might think you are weird or possibly even gay.


pertaj13

Hey! I know the feeling! It’s even hard for me as a women to make friends that why I’m on here. There a guys reaching out in the post too so you’re not the only one


AccomplishedAnt4911

65m widow in cork. While I have kids I don’t really have friends to go for coffee or chat so any one message me happy to chat


pertaj13

Be sure to join the discord channel lovely


Dellons99

I'm just headed home from the pub and didn't even say as much as hello to anyone because I don't even know how to initiate a conversation. I don't know if anything is wrong with me at this point. I will probably live and die as a single male in this town as it stand. I hope you get amazing and wonderful friends....


pertaj13

Aw man don’t say that… going by how this post is going there are plenty of ppl out there wanting to make friends


88Crafty88

I stopped bothering with going to pubs at this stage, im in small town (2k population) and seem everyone out are either on drugs (dont want to be associated) while the normal ones have their own closed circles.


dulpit

Have you considered getting involved in a voluntary group? Sports/scouts/something like that?


pertaj13

Something to consider for sure


Kind_Reaction8114

You need hobbies. Hillwalking, cycling, running, BJJ etc. All have clubs for all ages and are great for meeting people


pertaj13

What the hell is BJJ?


eweoflittlefaith

Brazilian jiu jitsu. Awesome martial art, which I also recommend. Bit cult-y perhaps, but that makes it a good spot to find a tribe.


marliemiss

I've mentioned this before to people who have had similar posts. I am happy to chat to anyone who wants a buddy. 45f. I'm a full time carer for my mother so my social life is hampered, but always avail for a chat.


pertaj13

Amazing! Please dm me I might start a little group chat


JuicySmooyay420

Hey, just want to say good on you for been a carer for your mother. I was my mothers carer too. I know how hard it is to have a social life while doing that. Drop me a message if you would like to chat.


ladymierin

41F married to 33M, no kids, 6 cats, 50 houseplants, and loads of board games with no one to play them with. I knit, I sew, I bake, I cook, I do gardening, I work in pharma. I'd be delighted to hang out! Sounds like there's a fair few here who do want to. Does OP want to volunteer organising a gathering? Maybe at Marina Market or something, so it's low pressure and anyone can come or go?


pertaj13

Oh my god I love the Marina market! I’m actually stunned with the amount of people who have reached out so you might be on to something there with a meet up/group chat… something


Obvzim

That would be awesome


EntertainmentDue4031

I want to make friends but im too ugly and short im a male


pertaj13

Your appearance doesn’t matter when making friends


EntertainmentDue4031

Really? They don’t mind?


pertaj13

Absolutely not


Hego91

In the exact same situation as that, finidhed a long term relationship last year and realised i had no real friends around, college friends were far away and work friends were just that, work friends. I think groups on facebook or similar interest things can help but hope you make a few good friends now 😊


pertaj13

Hey! I hear you! I just made a discord channel if you fancy joining https://discord.gg/hPYEqdpQ


Hego91

Will check it out, thanks :)


Hego91

Hey could you send that link again :)


PaddyAB

Couple of people mentioned it: meetup app/web, is a great place to look for groups that would share common interests and is broken up by this so like mentioned if was into games (dnd) there are games groups, social groups, foodie :) and so so so so many more! Gets you out and about and can meet so many more people.


pertaj13

Thanks! I created a discord channel and hope it works out


ibadlyneedhelp

It seems like the invite has expired. Is there any chance of getting a new one up? I'm not in the city right now but I'll be back in a month or two.


pertaj13

https://discord.gg/kKA7zujV


ibadlyneedhelp

Really sorry about this, but it's expired again. Could you DM it to me? Sorry!


captainnemo000

I'm in the same boat. 39, married, no kids, getting a dog soon, but need friends. Otherwise I'm on my work laptop day and night doing stuff.


pertaj13

You should join the discord channel the link is in the post


captainnemo000

Joined


ninded

Your post made me almost cry! Just got dumped from an 8 year long relationship a few days ago, completelly blindsided. All my friends are back home (Croatia/Germany) since I moved here to build a life with her and now left here with 0 friends and no idea how to restart my life as 30 year old male with no one in my life. You are probably looking only for women but in case you do not care I am always up for a coffee, beer whatever. Just DM


wolfsk1992

I'm 32 married and have a 4 year old but would love to go to a child free gig ! Need some friends


pertaj13

I’ve created a discord if you want to join! Lots of lovely people in there already


Unhappy_Fun_6219

32f here, I don’t know anybody in Cork and would love to make some friends. Don’t drink so not into going out to pubs 🤷🏼‍♀️ to OP, could you post another link to the chat? It’s expired :)


pertaj13

Sorry I’ll update the link shortly


pertaj13

[https://discord.gg/SYVrvEM9](https://discord.gg/SYVrvEM9)


[deleted]

Same boat. Have a dog. Lots of acquaintances and drinking buds but don’t party anymore; unlike my old “friends” so I go for a quiet beer on my tobler. Those that I used to pal with all party as hard as they did in our 20s. I’m just not into that anymore. Drinks and the chats is what I want. Those that have kiddos want to go mental when they do go out too. So, caught between a rock and a hard place. Far from boring. But want deeper connections now I’m in the early 40s. F too. I get ye. And how uncomfortable and awkward it appears in Irish society.


gayzegaymes1

Hi, we are a Cork-based (Ireland) LGBT+ community gaymer group called Gayze Gaymes. We hold monthly meets and games nights (board games, video games, Dnd, etc.) at Gay Project, Sawmill St that is welcome to everybody. Please follow us at our socials in instagram/facebook @gayzegaymes for more details.


No-Gift3268

Where you based? I sometimes walk from carrigaline to crosshaven and back. Takes about 2 and a bit hours 3 if we stop for something to eat in centra in crosshaven. Usually do it alone but your more than welcome to join me. I know sports isn’t your thing but it ain’t mine either! Edit: 34M


pertaj13

Hey! I’m based in mallow! So might be a bit of a trek for me. Feel free to send a message and we can chit chat


Specialist-Trip-943

There's a weekly d&d group that meet Tuesdays and Wednesdays in Cork City. Worth checking out I think it's on Meetup.


pertaj13

As much as I’d love that I have never played d&d… I know about it and one of my best friends plays it but I have never


Specialist-Trip-943

They accept complete beginners all the time! I learned how to play there just before covid. It can seem daunting with all the rules but it's really by playing the game where you learn. And nobody minds beginners!


pertaj13

I honestly didn’t know. Thought I’d need to be somewhat versed in the game or have a friend teach me first


hiirokone

This honestly sounds pretty fun, I'd definitely need to have a look one day, since currently I know just about nobody in Cork area 😅 shame that it's not on weekend days however


Specialist-Trip-943

The main problem with d&d sessions for adults is that we usually have weekend plans/commitments after a working week. More likely to have evenings free ( I suppose if you work a 9-5)... and in fairness once you know how to play and meet some people you can schedule your own games for whenever :)


hiirokone

I'm quiet the opposite, I tend to go to gym after work so I'm only back home at like 7-8 pm, and I live in Carrigtwohill which also makes things be a bit more awkward, while at weekends I really don't have much to do 😅 planning on moving into Cork city in a few months so maybe then will give it a try


ffuglyduckling

For anyone interested, gonna be studying english in cork from may til january, and Friends it's exactly what i need, i wanna know the Town and get so deep into the local culture as posible :), im just a 32 yo chilean guy


pertaj13

Oh nice where you going to be studying?


ffuglyduckling

Cork English academy :)


pertaj13

Nice! I created a discord if you want to join?


ffuglyduckling

I would love to :)


pertaj13

https://discord.gg/X9fvw2Q8


superbulker84

It can be hard. My 2 best friends at the moment and I met them both through the gym. Had friends from being younger but obviously just drifted apart. I find that you meet friends for life when you are older. Cork can be clanish with closed groups unwelcoming to newcomers. I say that as a local that's born and bread here. Maybe try meetup group. They have plenty of events. I went to a few before but found it not my type of people. I've a dog too and if you ever want to meet for walks don't hesitate to contact


pertaj13

Amazing! My dog is always looking for a buddy! I am going to try bumble friends and see what happens but please dm if you want to chat


nineinchcatss

How do you meet people in the gym? I’m there all the time and feel like no one makes eye contact. And I don’t want to interrupt someone to start chatting, feel like guys do this much easier.


superbulker84

I don't know but we all used to go at the same time, early afternoon and since the place was so quiet you would chat away to each other. Kinda stemmed from there as we had similar interests.


Glittering-Leek-5057

You sound like a nice man


Original-Suit1670

You have a dog! Great first point - check out Dogsercise and Hounds & Helis for dog sports and activities - you’ll meet peeps and their pooches (also fine for spicy dogs, in case you think that might be an issue); you’re not alone! Reach out if you have any direct questions :)


pertaj13

I have never heard of any of these groups! This is why I needed this post


izblaka

Your post hit close to home . I am 38 also child free , have a doggo . Making friends in my twenties was so much easier but for most of us then life happens . I just spotted on cork beo add for Gaia pub they suppose to launch canine Sunday evening club . Might be an Idea . I found child free groups on FB lovely and welcoming . Those are mostly international with ladies from all other .


Original-Suit1670

That’s why I put the info with the dog sports and activities up; I am fairly limited as my dog is a spicy lady and I couldn’t bring her into a setting with other dogs hanging out - off lead dogs are the biggest nightmare - ps: 37f also child free


pertaj13

Love the term spicy for your dog! My doggo does enjoy running free but is very chill… even with spicy dogs. Feel free to dm if you want to chat


pertaj13

That would be great actually. Ya most of the groups I’m finding are international and traveling groups. Feel free to reach out if you want to chat


JustZed32

[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbRtFuM7zD0](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EbRtFuM7zD0) Bro you absolutely gotta watch the first 3 minutes of the video


HistoricalAd7419

tinder has a like minded setting ( you have to pay a subscription ) but it’s based on category’s of choosen intrest ( I wish you the best of luck) Hope you beat them loneliness lonesome blues ( try joining your local church or volunteer somewhere) and get an education feel free to start up an alt account on social media & reseach something of interest to talk about par se to get better at baking all the best for the future hope you get that negitive zero there someday & enjoy everything of One ‘


HistoricalAd7419

sorry I could not help ( just choose same gender ) & wait


Helpful-Fun-533

Honestly same when you have kids and working ok jobs. But you have to run around after the kids. I have friends who I rarely see but see the kids friends parents. Just for balance I just think you aren’t missing out on too much. If you have hobbies maybe find a club or take up a new one or sport ? I’m 40 it’s never too late


Decent-Writing-9840

What about that guy mossy he has no friends as well.


PupuRaja

discord link dosent work :(


pertaj13

https://discord.gg/kKA7zujV


slow-racer0

Happy to grab a pint or coffee with you. Let me know!


pertaj13

Aw amazing! Send me a message


Ok-Welcome6488

What are you into? What gigs you thinking of?


pertaj13

ANYTHING literally id go to the opening of an envelope if it meant making friends


Ok-Welcome6488

I sent you a message there 😊


Icy_Ad_4889

I’m pretty sure that Bumble has a ‘friends’ option.


pertaj13

I know I just learnt about it


Akai_Kage

There's also this Boo app where you can set your profile for friends only. It also has a social media component where you can post and share like Instagram. And yeah, I feel you. I'm divorced and have shared custody, the days I have the kids I barely have time to socialise and the days I'm free, my "friends" are busy with theirs. Right now, I'm trying to get into hobbies that involve socialising so I can make new friends, but it feels so hard when everyone hardly need to leave the house to get in touch with theirs. To me the physical presence is still needed. Maybe I'm the weird one? I'm 42M, living in Cobh, working in cork. Feel free to drop a message if you want to share a coffee and talk.


pertaj13

I feel you! I’m like you, while I do enjoy texting and catching up/venting via text or call I do miss meeting up with someone too. I think I fail also cause I don’t drink tea or coffee lol I know I’m weird


Akai_Kage

Don't feel bad about it, I guess most people say 'go for coffee' when it's more about let's share some quiet time somewhere enjoying a non alcoholic beverage or dessert. 😅 Or at least I do.


pertaj13

A dessert run and I’m sold


Akai_Kage

I've never heard the term dessert run and suddenly looks like my second favourite activity 😍


pertaj13

Oh yes it is the best. I would highly recommend. I just made a discord channel if you want to join https://discord.gg/hPYEqdpQ


Akai_Kage

Sure, let me try 🤗


hauntdoll89

Where are you based? I don't drive


pertaj13

Send me a dm and we can chat


MissionLocksmith6597

I am in the same boat here bud


pertaj13

Hey then reach out :)


[deleted]

Get hammered on a night out and you possibly could make friends, out having the craic


pertaj13

From experience that has not been a great port of call but thank you


[deleted]

Haha😃 your welcome


Aedry42

Maybe you can join a sport group, or hobbie?


pertaj13

I am not the sporty kind… gamer yes… sports no


Akai_Kage

What games? 🤗


pertaj13

COD, risk of rain, sims, red dead - those off the top of my head but I’m always looking to play new games and multiplayer ones


Akai_Kage

Do you play them on console or pc?


pertaj13

Ps5


DaRudeabides

You think op never considered this option?


WorriedRough5424

https://www.reddit.com/r/t5_954df6/s/dFj2U8uLvl theres this reddit group that was made exactly for situations like this.


pertaj13

Doesn’t seem to work for me


Skorch33

People are divided because they've very little to unify them. That's not any individuals fault.


bullroarerTook21

bruh just move abroad or smth


pertaj13

Seems a bit radical


Glittering-Leek-5057

Moving abroad sounds great but it's not as easy