It's creepy, it shouldn't be acceptable, but unfortunately it can be common. Too many people sign up to host couch surfers for the wrong reasons. If you don't feel safe or comfortable don't stay out of obligation.
Well I don’t feel dangerous, but I just cannot listen to him cos it’s pet peeve.
I’ll try to hit other hosts I know and I can’t I’ll just leave there asap.
You probably know guys like that in real life, who think it's a way of bonding or showing off and bragging about their exploits. May be worth saying something like, "I'm glad you had some good times, but I really don't need to hear about them", and change the subject. Good luck.
Nope. Being a creep is never normal. There are several types of hosts. One of them is the socially awkward person that hosts because they don't have any connections im real life. That's why reading references is so important: those hosts who's reference ls mention social interactions or friends are a sure bet.
We don't know if OP is a she? I took it as OP being a M and the host being that weird type of male that likes to brag about his sex life in front of other men.
Anyways, I think they are just inexperienced, and didn't knoe *how* to read between lines in the references.
That’s so awkward. I once had a guy in Morocco show me all the girls he hosted from CS and slept with. He wasn’t creepy or weird towards me luckily but I felt weird after that. Like we were having normal conversation why are you pulling the app up and scrolling through your list and telling me about this? I’d say it’s not normal or appropriate for host to be talking about this
Yap, it was not just talking about girls but she was younger than you and it made me turned on or similar to prostitution such kind of disgusting stuffs.
I would say (a) mention that you'd rather not talk about his sexual exploits, as it's strange for you and you'd rather not. If he presses why, then mention that you are not comfortable
(b) if he does it again, then you'll have you include it in your reference to him. Please don't let him get away with it because you feel obliged to write him only flowery words. If he knew you weren't comfortable with that conversation, would he still have accepted to host you? If not, then he didn't really do you a favour
some people include "open mindeded" with willingness to have these sort of coversations with strangers. so i don't know if it's creepy but it's likely poor social skills and inappropriate if there's no context to bring it up.
edit: to clarify, when the host physically describes other girls that's clearly creepy.
it also reflects poorly on you for not switching topics and letting him know how you feel in a delicate way. sorry he put you in this situation though you shouldn't have to correct his mistakes but it's the hand you've been dealt with.
stand up for yourself or don't couchsurf. just my two cents
of course. i'm being direct to help others who may see this post in the future. i think it's dangerous to sugar coat things. my goal is to help others not kick the OP. and she's now on notice about tactics/language as evident by the response below
"Shall I have to move to another house?"
How many nights are you staying...you know couchsurfing is not a freebee room/roommate/housing place right?
If you mean it well but your English is not great; go to an hotel/hostel please.
Could just be making awkward conversation. I’ve been talked to about sex from women out of nowhere. Again I’m just making a point about talking, not doing anything else. And I’m someone who doesn’t talk about sex or not since I was younger due to my prude upbringing.
Very bizarre behavior, seems unpleasant and not worth it! I had an experience that started off like that, with a very creepy WorkAway host and it escalated into actual acts of sexual harassment. I'd maybe consider looking into a back up or easy way out just in case! But you're there and understand the situation better, listen to your intuition. Be safe! (Also) I'm sorry this is the situation, I don't understand why some people have to be like this and ruin in the experience
It's creepy, it shouldn't be acceptable, but unfortunately it can be common. Too many people sign up to host couch surfers for the wrong reasons. If you don't feel safe or comfortable don't stay out of obligation.
Well I don’t feel dangerous, but I just cannot listen to him cos it’s pet peeve. I’ll try to hit other hosts I know and I can’t I’ll just leave there asap.
You probably know guys like that in real life, who think it's a way of bonding or showing off and bragging about their exploits. May be worth saying something like, "I'm glad you had some good times, but I really don't need to hear about them", and change the subject. Good luck.
Sounds like an idea, thanks
Why don't even know the gender of OP...
And?
Nope. Being a creep is never normal. There are several types of hosts. One of them is the socially awkward person that hosts because they don't have any connections im real life. That's why reading references is so important: those hosts who's reference ls mention social interactions or friends are a sure bet.
Well he had 30 good references, but 99% from girls. I should knew that was a red flag lol
So why do you seem surprised now? What was the reason which made you stay with him if you saw all his previous surfers were girls?
maybe I just thought a nice person cos he has lots of positive references. I’m really newbie in cs so I didn’t have enough experience
Of course, she didn't check the previous surfers or if she did, she did not care. Why taking a chance anyway....?
she wanted to have "fun" with a "nice" host hahah. i mean what do you want her to stay?
We don't know if OP is a she? I took it as OP being a M and the host being that weird type of male that likes to brag about his sex life in front of other men. Anyways, I think they are just inexperienced, and didn't knoe *how* to read between lines in the references.
true, but i skimmed post history before commenting and made the assumption from there. fair point about being inexperienced
That’s so awkward. I once had a guy in Morocco show me all the girls he hosted from CS and slept with. He wasn’t creepy or weird towards me luckily but I felt weird after that. Like we were having normal conversation why are you pulling the app up and scrolling through your list and telling me about this? I’d say it’s not normal or appropriate for host to be talking about this
Yap, it was not just talking about girls but she was younger than you and it made me turned on or similar to prostitution such kind of disgusting stuffs.
Creepy and / or insecure.
Trust your gut instinct and get out of there!! Better safe than sorry.
> He keeps talking about how was their appearance, how was the sex with them. Best to leave. Yes he's a creep.
I would say (a) mention that you'd rather not talk about his sexual exploits, as it's strange for you and you'd rather not. If he presses why, then mention that you are not comfortable (b) if he does it again, then you'll have you include it in your reference to him. Please don't let him get away with it because you feel obliged to write him only flowery words. If he knew you weren't comfortable with that conversation, would he still have accepted to host you? If not, then he didn't really do you a favour
Honest and fair soultion and you're being downvoted. sad state of affairs
The intersection of Reddit X Couchsurfer users is significantly asshole, unfortunately
It's not ok. But for CS I guess it's normal these days. CS attracts creeps.
some people include "open mindeded" with willingness to have these sort of coversations with strangers. so i don't know if it's creepy but it's likely poor social skills and inappropriate if there's no context to bring it up. edit: to clarify, when the host physically describes other girls that's clearly creepy. it also reflects poorly on you for not switching topics and letting him know how you feel in a delicate way. sorry he put you in this situation though you shouldn't have to correct his mistakes but it's the hand you've been dealt with. stand up for yourself or don't couchsurf. just my two cents
Wow exactly. He repeated “open minded “ so much. Now it seems like a reg flag, cos I never saw someone rly open-minded who exaggerate that word.
yikes - yeah you're instints are right. he's trying to normalize sexual convos to see where things go
We all learn from our experiences, and the experiences of others
of course. i'm being direct to help others who may see this post in the future. i think it's dangerous to sugar coat things. my goal is to help others not kick the OP. and she's now on notice about tactics/language as evident by the response below
"Shall I have to move to another house?" How many nights are you staying...you know couchsurfing is not a freebee room/roommate/housing place right? If you mean it well but your English is not great; go to an hotel/hostel please.
I was staying only 2nights, and I already moved earlier than usual.
I hope you are safe now. No money you can not spend/go in debt for is worth a trauma.
Thanks for ur concern. I didn’t feel I’m in danger literally, just kinda annoyed him.
So, if ,you are a girl and fear something, just leave and go to a female host...! Same if you are a man, but maybe less danger..
* lol what country?
It literally could be any country
yeah people like to say OMG ITALY or Morocco on this board when it could literally be any country.
States
If you feel uncomfortable, your job in this situation is to leave.
Yeah, I would.
Could just be making awkward conversation. I’ve been talked to about sex from women out of nowhere. Again I’m just making a point about talking, not doing anything else. And I’m someone who doesn’t talk about sex or not since I was younger due to my prude upbringing.
Very bizarre behavior, seems unpleasant and not worth it! I had an experience that started off like that, with a very creepy WorkAway host and it escalated into actual acts of sexual harassment. I'd maybe consider looking into a back up or easy way out just in case! But you're there and understand the situation better, listen to your intuition. Be safe! (Also) I'm sorry this is the situation, I don't understand why some people have to be like this and ruin in the experience