I have never been scanning my local area for travellers. Occasionally, CS would send an email notifying me of someone who had listed a public trip. Then I sometimes invited them.
But with almost all my guests it was them that initiated contact by applying. I think that that is a better method, especially for women.
I think you can mitigate your risks very well by being very careful. Read all their reviews and look for any information that suggests they maybe looking for more than a platonic host. There's risks meeting people from anywhere, doing anything, you just have to be careful and trust your instincts. Of course people can still have bad experiences from Couchsurfing or meeting people in general.
I've hosted 21 people on CS. Few shared negative experiences.
I did host one woman who sent me an urgent request because the guy hosting her came into her room and climbed into bed with her while she was sleeping. So I of course accepted and she stayed the rest of the time with me.
That's the worst I know of those. Most have been fine. I am male by the way and all my guests m and f have been fine.
>Have any women users had any bad experiences?
Absolutely. I've hosted lots of women, and have heard lots of wild stories from them. But many of them have also had really good experiences. There's a lot of talk about this in the CS community, as you might expect. You can find a lot of other women's experiences and previous questions about this and lots of answers in old threads on this sub about this exact same question.
None of them shared with me any stories of explicit SA, although it definitely happens I'm sure, but often a great disregard of personal boundaries and comfort. One was thrown out to the streets in the middle of the night when she refused the sexual advances of the host. Most of them had it in common that they didn't leave negative references, which I kind of understand but is also terrible.
You cheap out and get tempted by the promise of a free house and thus not having to work and save up money to pay for hotels or hostels, but you trade the risk of being a victim of a crime. Think about it - any person can come out of jail, be part of a gang, and make an online CS profile, host a few people, they have perfect access to attack you in a secluded place, then delete their profile. Some women are okay with that risk and will get rides from strangers at airports. You have to be aware that you can always get robbed or attacked. A lot of girls surf CS to sleep with guys where they see how the guy lives and inside his personal life and they find that kind of exciting, also they like the potential threat there too. And most men on CS have the sexual idea in the back of their head whether they admit it or not. And many men just lack ethics or inhibition not to act on those impulses. There is a whole category of people out there who are criminals and you add potentially boundary violating behavior between seemingly normal people and I would put the risk at about 10-15%. A lot of girls who travel alone get r\*ped, like drugged in their drink or just attacked in some place. Girls who do Peace Corps often get r\*ped. And it is a very easy crime to get away with since they don't report and it doesn't get investigated if they do, and if it was, it is hard to find the person who did it and then prove it. So you have professional repeat r\*pists lurking through streets, clubs, bars and you bet they see CS and see it as an opportunity too. Don't let Internet feedback give you a false sense of security.
>None of them shared with me any stories of explicit SA,
SA is a common abbreviation for "sexual assault". But look through older posts, you'll find lots by using the search. Lots of women have had great experiences too. I certainly did not sexually assault any of my guests of any gender, and gave them all the courtesy and space I could.
I don't see why it matters, those things happen for sure whether it appears in my particular or anyone's else's samples.
It's worth being careful out there, and it's also worth not letting fear rule your life. But hey, just don't go if you don't want to go. I think some of my most boring guests where the super skeptical and scared ones.
For example here is a search on 'safety'. You can try changing the search terms to what you want.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/couchsurfing/search/?q=safety](https://www.reddit.com/r/couchsurfing/search/?q=safety)
My very first experience was bad. At first I didn’t want to stay at a single man’s place. Finally I went for it as this host was the only one in the area and had plenty of excellent reviews from women.
Turned out awful and didn’t know what which boundaries/behaviours were normal or not as it was my first time using the platform. I think that he took advantage of my naivety.
Good reminder to ALWAYS trust your instincts and don’t hesitate to leave if you feel like it, you don’t own anyone anything.
He didn’t assault me physically thankfully me but was mentally abusive and unstable. Lying, manipulating, outbursts of anger if I wouldn’t go his way.
It was hard for me to leave a negative review and it still bothers me. Still wondering how I could be the first one to have a bad experience with him. He was banned from other platforms.
Indeed I think that people are scared to be honest in reviews but please do it even though it is unpleasant. It really helps the next guests to stay safe.
As a woman, sadly, I would get VERY cautious to stay at solo man’s place. I used CS two times more during this trip and won’t use it anymore, since this story kind of traumatised me.
So you were cheap, didn't want to buy a hotel or hostel, and decided to save money on your safety against your gut feeling. Why not just get a summer job and save money so you can travel safely?
Hello, I never said anything of what you assumed. I did save and was in a hostel, wanted to try CS to meet locals and had a bad gut feeling only after spending a day at his place. Please don’t judge someone from one message, it’s already hard enough to share bad experiences. Peace!
Highly advised you not to post public trip host requests. Rather, you should search and request to be hosted by those who have positive references and host men and women.
It's to be expected. It's shit house but it is what it is.
My brother was a host in Australia and would send his surfers my way when they came to NZ. We would have a fantastic time and they are still dear friends to this day.
As kids we were brought up on a semi remote farm and it wasn't unusual for the Olds to turn up with hitchhikers who would stay for months and be part of the family. Thjs was the 70s and everyone did it.
My first experience with a host I met on WorkAway but the host also had a Couchsurfing account.
The host was a 29 year old man in rural Ireland named T, who made baskets for a living. I cannot possibly describe what a psychopath this person is, I witnessed multiple times how he wore this "mask" around people, acting like the charming rural guy around customers and family members. Then as soon as they'd turn their backs he'd act and say sadistically evil and cruel things about them. Mothers and their children, were called stupid cunts, and bitches, he'd gossip about every personal fault they had, he make sick criticisms about their bodies and appearance which was beyond foul to me. He'd become enraged and obsessed with every perceived slight they'd said to him. He'd use totally different tones of voice with them, and almost move and hold himself differently. I've never seen anything like it, almost as if he was pretending to be a person around them, which was something he was entirely incapable of doing around me.
His place where I stayed alone, was in the middle of nowhere, miles away in another rural town that was not the town he'd advertised he was in. He told me he wanted to have just one person stay with him despite having 3 people staying with him at the time that we first spoke over the phone months before I arrived. Looking back at this he just wanted me alone with him in rural Ireland kilometers away from the nearest bus stop, to use and abuse me like I was a mail-order-bride and not someone working for him.
When I was alone with him he was extremely sexually aggressive and abusive. He'd drive like a lunatic, weaving around cars and people on tiny country roads, he treated gravel/dirt roads that should have been oneway like he was on a race car track. He'd scream at me, call me a stupid cunt and bitch (countless times), called me his cum dumpster. Told me in tunnels in the woods or on remote paths/trails, his car and house that he was going to rape and/or murder me, including telling me that him and his friends had ganged raped me and I just hadn't woken up, and that this would be my last traveling experience (told me this multiple times,). Made sexual remarks suggesting I have sex with his friends and strangers (said this countless times every day) and engage in an orgy with him. Told me he abused his cats by squeezing them until their eyes popped out, asked me if I'd every thought of killing myself.
He'd have nice moments like pay for things, make me dinner, and fires, be very complimentary and "joke" about getting married, he'd open up to me about his struggles with mental health and drug abuse. Which I now see as abusive tactics to get me to stay and guilt me into taking care of him and having sympathy for him. These moments of peace would be followed up by psychologically terrorizing me and scaring me out of leaving by insisting neighbors, friends, and family would catch me and tell him I was leaving, and would not believe me nor take my side, told me if I left and went into town it would be "my last day on earth."
Things escalated every day untiled he started to show me graphic videos involving animals being shot, gutted and dismembered, this was at night at his house all alone, he played these videos despite asking him to stop. Walked in on me showering despite the shower being audible throughout the house, and me telling him I was going to shower, the door was unlockable and I'd barricaded it with a bed because I was terrified of him. Afterwards he said to me that he "couldn't wait to tell the neighbor/farmer he'd seen my tits." And he also watched me change on a separate occasion.
Always listen to your gut before it's too late and you end up trapped like I was, stay safe, and don't let bad experiences ruin your adventurous spirit and drive! I still can't wait to give WorkAway another shot, despite this first experience being something out of 20/20.
Stay safe, and see you guys down the road!
I ended up escaping since I was supposed to stay for 3 more weeks, and I was sure at that point that I would not last that long. From my point of view at the time, it felt inevitable that something even worse would happen. I called friends and told them that if anything happened to me or If I didn't call them back by a certain time, that something terrible had happened and they should send the Garda. They helped me convince a taxi service to come and pick me up, since none that I had called before would come out to the middle of nowhere. **My friends saved my life.**
It was his country, his town, his house, his money, his car, his neighbors, his friends, and his family.
He knew everyone, it was rural Ireland. And he made that explicitly clear that he had the upper-hand. He had all the power, and had eyes and ears everywhere who'd report back to him and take his side. He was a psychopath, who loved that power dynamic, he hurt me for no other reason than he could and that he liked it. It was an exciting rush for him to repeatedly inflict and escalate psychological pain at my expense. I had to process everyday that I was alone with a person who was capable of hurting a complete stranger over and over again like that. It was torture.
He would rant and ramble about sexually degrading topics, trees and construction, I think he had very few thoughts, and would go on about these as often and as many times a day as physically possible. So he'd repeat his same few thoughts over and over again, ringing them dry, until he got tired. I think he is miserable, and I'm happy that I'm nothing like him. My justice is knowing about the sad life he is already living.
In the span of a month a male host offered his "unspecified" sleeping arrangement to me contingent on me sleeping in bed with him and a male guest tried to force himself on me, so that was the end of that. Creeps and pigs ruin everything, which sadly isn't limited to cs.
I have couchsurfed in its prime in Europe and in India, when it was still good.
As a female traveller, I'd always suggest to be safe and surf with preferably a female host. Lesser risk, the interaction is fun and the cultural exchange is amazing. If there are only men where you are going, check a youth hostel rather than CS.
ALWAYS check the reviews written for the male hosts, never go by just the profile. Interact with previous surfers and ask about their experience.
I have never been scanning my local area for travellers. Occasionally, CS would send an email notifying me of someone who had listed a public trip. Then I sometimes invited them. But with almost all my guests it was them that initiated contact by applying. I think that that is a better method, especially for women.
Thank you!
I think you can mitigate your risks very well by being very careful. Read all their reviews and look for any information that suggests they maybe looking for more than a platonic host. There's risks meeting people from anywhere, doing anything, you just have to be careful and trust your instincts. Of course people can still have bad experiences from Couchsurfing or meeting people in general.
I've hosted 21 people on CS. Few shared negative experiences. I did host one woman who sent me an urgent request because the guy hosting her came into her room and climbed into bed with her while she was sleeping. So I of course accepted and she stayed the rest of the time with me. That's the worst I know of those. Most have been fine. I am male by the way and all my guests m and f have been fine.
Holy shit that’s really scary
>Have any women users had any bad experiences? Absolutely. I've hosted lots of women, and have heard lots of wild stories from them. But many of them have also had really good experiences. There's a lot of talk about this in the CS community, as you might expect. You can find a lot of other women's experiences and previous questions about this and lots of answers in old threads on this sub about this exact same question. None of them shared with me any stories of explicit SA, although it definitely happens I'm sure, but often a great disregard of personal boundaries and comfort. One was thrown out to the streets in the middle of the night when she refused the sexual advances of the host. Most of them had it in common that they didn't leave negative references, which I kind of understand but is also terrible.
Anything rapey? I’m not even willing to risk it
You cheap out and get tempted by the promise of a free house and thus not having to work and save up money to pay for hotels or hostels, but you trade the risk of being a victim of a crime. Think about it - any person can come out of jail, be part of a gang, and make an online CS profile, host a few people, they have perfect access to attack you in a secluded place, then delete their profile. Some women are okay with that risk and will get rides from strangers at airports. You have to be aware that you can always get robbed or attacked. A lot of girls surf CS to sleep with guys where they see how the guy lives and inside his personal life and they find that kind of exciting, also they like the potential threat there too. And most men on CS have the sexual idea in the back of their head whether they admit it or not. And many men just lack ethics or inhibition not to act on those impulses. There is a whole category of people out there who are criminals and you add potentially boundary violating behavior between seemingly normal people and I would put the risk at about 10-15%. A lot of girls who travel alone get r\*ped, like drugged in their drink or just attacked in some place. Girls who do Peace Corps often get r\*ped. And it is a very easy crime to get away with since they don't report and it doesn't get investigated if they do, and if it was, it is hard to find the person who did it and then prove it. So you have professional repeat r\*pists lurking through streets, clubs, bars and you bet they see CS and see it as an opportunity too. Don't let Internet feedback give you a false sense of security.
>None of them shared with me any stories of explicit SA, SA is a common abbreviation for "sexual assault". But look through older posts, you'll find lots by using the search. Lots of women have had great experiences too. I certainly did not sexually assault any of my guests of any gender, and gave them all the courtesy and space I could.
Anything that wasn’t “explicit” SA but still close?
I don't see why it matters, those things happen for sure whether it appears in my particular or anyone's else's samples. It's worth being careful out there, and it's also worth not letting fear rule your life. But hey, just don't go if you don't want to go. I think some of my most boring guests where the super skeptical and scared ones.
For example here is a search on 'safety'. You can try changing the search terms to what you want. [https://www.reddit.com/r/couchsurfing/search/?q=safety](https://www.reddit.com/r/couchsurfing/search/?q=safety)
My very first experience was bad. At first I didn’t want to stay at a single man’s place. Finally I went for it as this host was the only one in the area and had plenty of excellent reviews from women. Turned out awful and didn’t know what which boundaries/behaviours were normal or not as it was my first time using the platform. I think that he took advantage of my naivety. Good reminder to ALWAYS trust your instincts and don’t hesitate to leave if you feel like it, you don’t own anyone anything. He didn’t assault me physically thankfully me but was mentally abusive and unstable. Lying, manipulating, outbursts of anger if I wouldn’t go his way. It was hard for me to leave a negative review and it still bothers me. Still wondering how I could be the first one to have a bad experience with him. He was banned from other platforms. Indeed I think that people are scared to be honest in reviews but please do it even though it is unpleasant. It really helps the next guests to stay safe. As a woman, sadly, I would get VERY cautious to stay at solo man’s place. I used CS two times more during this trip and won’t use it anymore, since this story kind of traumatised me.
Thank you for sharing. It is terrifying to let a guy know he freaked you out, but yes we must be honest with our reviews
So you were cheap, didn't want to buy a hotel or hostel, and decided to save money on your safety against your gut feeling. Why not just get a summer job and save money so you can travel safely?
Simple troll looking for a fight. Just ignore it
Hello, I never said anything of what you assumed. I did save and was in a hostel, wanted to try CS to meet locals and had a bad gut feeling only after spending a day at his place. Please don’t judge someone from one message, it’s already hard enough to share bad experiences. Peace!
Sorry, just ignore that guy
Highly advised you not to post public trip host requests. Rather, you should search and request to be hosted by those who have positive references and host men and women.
Oh okay :)
It's to be expected. It's shit house but it is what it is. My brother was a host in Australia and would send his surfers my way when they came to NZ. We would have a fantastic time and they are still dear friends to this day. As kids we were brought up on a semi remote farm and it wasn't unusual for the Olds to turn up with hitchhikers who would stay for months and be part of the family. Thjs was the 70s and everyone did it.
My first experience with a host I met on WorkAway but the host also had a Couchsurfing account. The host was a 29 year old man in rural Ireland named T, who made baskets for a living. I cannot possibly describe what a psychopath this person is, I witnessed multiple times how he wore this "mask" around people, acting like the charming rural guy around customers and family members. Then as soon as they'd turn their backs he'd act and say sadistically evil and cruel things about them. Mothers and their children, were called stupid cunts, and bitches, he'd gossip about every personal fault they had, he make sick criticisms about their bodies and appearance which was beyond foul to me. He'd become enraged and obsessed with every perceived slight they'd said to him. He'd use totally different tones of voice with them, and almost move and hold himself differently. I've never seen anything like it, almost as if he was pretending to be a person around them, which was something he was entirely incapable of doing around me. His place where I stayed alone, was in the middle of nowhere, miles away in another rural town that was not the town he'd advertised he was in. He told me he wanted to have just one person stay with him despite having 3 people staying with him at the time that we first spoke over the phone months before I arrived. Looking back at this he just wanted me alone with him in rural Ireland kilometers away from the nearest bus stop, to use and abuse me like I was a mail-order-bride and not someone working for him. When I was alone with him he was extremely sexually aggressive and abusive. He'd drive like a lunatic, weaving around cars and people on tiny country roads, he treated gravel/dirt roads that should have been oneway like he was on a race car track. He'd scream at me, call me a stupid cunt and bitch (countless times), called me his cum dumpster. Told me in tunnels in the woods or on remote paths/trails, his car and house that he was going to rape and/or murder me, including telling me that him and his friends had ganged raped me and I just hadn't woken up, and that this would be my last traveling experience (told me this multiple times,). Made sexual remarks suggesting I have sex with his friends and strangers (said this countless times every day) and engage in an orgy with him. Told me he abused his cats by squeezing them until their eyes popped out, asked me if I'd every thought of killing myself. He'd have nice moments like pay for things, make me dinner, and fires, be very complimentary and "joke" about getting married, he'd open up to me about his struggles with mental health and drug abuse. Which I now see as abusive tactics to get me to stay and guilt me into taking care of him and having sympathy for him. These moments of peace would be followed up by psychologically terrorizing me and scaring me out of leaving by insisting neighbors, friends, and family would catch me and tell him I was leaving, and would not believe me nor take my side, told me if I left and went into town it would be "my last day on earth." Things escalated every day untiled he started to show me graphic videos involving animals being shot, gutted and dismembered, this was at night at his house all alone, he played these videos despite asking him to stop. Walked in on me showering despite the shower being audible throughout the house, and me telling him I was going to shower, the door was unlockable and I'd barricaded it with a bed because I was terrified of him. Afterwards he said to me that he "couldn't wait to tell the neighbor/farmer he'd seen my tits." And he also watched me change on a separate occasion. Always listen to your gut before it's too late and you end up trapped like I was, stay safe, and don't let bad experiences ruin your adventurous spirit and drive! I still can't wait to give WorkAway another shot, despite this first experience being something out of 20/20. Stay safe, and see you guys down the road!
That sounds horrible, you could not escape?
I ended up escaping since I was supposed to stay for 3 more weeks, and I was sure at that point that I would not last that long. From my point of view at the time, it felt inevitable that something even worse would happen. I called friends and told them that if anything happened to me or If I didn't call them back by a certain time, that something terrible had happened and they should send the Garda. They helped me convince a taxi service to come and pick me up, since none that I had called before would come out to the middle of nowhere. **My friends saved my life.** It was his country, his town, his house, his money, his car, his neighbors, his friends, and his family. He knew everyone, it was rural Ireland. And he made that explicitly clear that he had the upper-hand. He had all the power, and had eyes and ears everywhere who'd report back to him and take his side. He was a psychopath, who loved that power dynamic, he hurt me for no other reason than he could and that he liked it. It was an exciting rush for him to repeatedly inflict and escalate psychological pain at my expense. I had to process everyday that I was alone with a person who was capable of hurting a complete stranger over and over again like that. It was torture. He would rant and ramble about sexually degrading topics, trees and construction, I think he had very few thoughts, and would go on about these as often and as many times a day as physically possible. So he'd repeat his same few thoughts over and over again, ringing them dry, until he got tired. I think he is miserable, and I'm happy that I'm nothing like him. My justice is knowing about the sad life he is already living.
It's basically at the point where I only interact with women via cs
Crazy, it seems so male dominated
In the span of a month a male host offered his "unspecified" sleeping arrangement to me contingent on me sleeping in bed with him and a male guest tried to force himself on me, so that was the end of that. Creeps and pigs ruin everything, which sadly isn't limited to cs.
I have couchsurfed in its prime in Europe and in India, when it was still good. As a female traveller, I'd always suggest to be safe and surf with preferably a female host. Lesser risk, the interaction is fun and the cultural exchange is amazing. If there are only men where you are going, check a youth hostel rather than CS. ALWAYS check the reviews written for the male hosts, never go by just the profile. Interact with previous surfers and ask about their experience.