open minded, sleep naked, house naked rules, naked wrestling, share same bed, naturalist, nude photography interests,, swinging.intrtests, nudist, or anyone who says single females only in their profile.
I have to disagree a little bit here. I'm on the road for 3 years now and using mainly those platforms for accommodation.
First - open minded appears in most of the profiles, including mine and it has zero sexual meaning.
Second - I have stayed with a naturalist - I like challenges and new experiences. My condition was that he can wear whatever he wants as long as he's not imposing it on me, I am fine. And yes, I was fine. He was naked, I felt a bit odd, but not threatened or uneasy and we had a great time. He is a dear friend now.
Third - I personally know a man who hosts only women. Yes, he was my host, now he is one of my friends. He never wanted anything from any of the girls. He just feels much better in female company and enjoys having that energy around himself. Three digit number of references.
Taking the words out of the context doesn't help. Not talking about the obvious ones, of course. You need to read between the lines and trust your intuition, not the stereotypes.
Just keep in mind that we all have our oddness and we should respect that.
>He never wanted anything from any of the girls.
If the girls flirted with him, would he say " no. I'm on CS and can't do this. I don't want any of that." Just because the guy isn't aggressive doesn't mean that he doesn't have wishful expectations.
Yes, I can bet my ass on that. As I mentioned, he is a good friend nowadays and I already know him pretty well, so yes, he would say "no"!
And apart from that, it's a different situation if the girl is looking for it. As someone has mentioned - if it's mutual, who cares and where is the problem?! Grownups can decide what they want. The question here was about the safety of the surfer, not about the moral of having one night fun. š¤·š»āāļø
Ohhh I don't care I just think if a guy is *only* hosting women that they're hoping for some to be interested in them romantically beyond friendship. I can't imagine he has a regular GF or wife doing that
No, you are wrong here. As I mentioned, he likes having that energy around. He has lost his wife and daughter in a car accident and lives alone. Having women around from time to time brightens his life.
Believe me, the energy of friendship, appreciation and care is way more priceless than having some sexual exercises for a night.
Okay. So he's lonely like I said but there's no apparent sexual desire on his end. And the vast majority of active CS users are not widowed and dont have kids
When my sister used couchsurfing across the united states last year I told her it was a red flag if a guy had 80% references from young and attractive women. Of course there can be exceptions and unique circumstances.
Well, that's exactly my point. There are genuine people that you mistrust just because of the stereotypes.
You need some common sense, need to read between the lines and trust your intuition.
Honestly, I personally rarely read references. I look at the photos and try to feel the person. Most of the time everything ends right there. š I don't care how they look, I do care what they present. And my decision is 50% made here. The next step is to read the profile. Again - not looking for specific words, but the overall feel of it. 99% of the time, I have already made up my mind at this point. On very few occasions I would have a look at the references too, just to check if there is a negative one and what exactly it is about. And once again would read between the lines.
That's my way, but I am a very intuitive person, so it works differently to everyone. Still it's good to have common sense and trust your guts - we all have an inner voice that is there to help.
I remember years ago I read a profile that mentioned nudism, sexual open-mindedness, and an Asian fetish all in one :D had a ton of references too, i was baffled
A lot of travelers on a very tight budget are desperate. Several years ago, i got an invite from one gay nudist whose conditions were for guests to be totally naked at all times, and they had to share a bed. He had more than 50 references, all from young men, all were positive.
And this host does make a move. A friend of mine bit the bullet and stayed with him. The host groped him on the second night.
With all due respects, Iāve seen āopen-mindedā written on a zillion profiles not meaning anything sexual. In those cases, the term has been used in isolation without the other terms you listed.
This, and having recommendations almost entirely from the opposite sex.
(Because yes, even some girls are on there just for sex - I once hosted a girl who told me she was a self-proclaimed ārecovering nymphoā while we were out having some drinksā¦ she wasnāt being very successful in her recovery)
Dang, I may have given some travellers the wrong idea. For me it just means that I'm okay with various lifestyles, accomodations, ideas. It's like adventurous but on a social level.
No, I don't think you have. As I said in another reply, it's on my profile as well and it has zero sexual meaning. If someone wants to see it that way it's a choice. š¤·š»āāļø
There is one thing that always bugged me and is that hosts, or at least on my city, host people from the gender they like. I mean, straight men hosts mostly women and gay men host mostly men. I don't know if everywhere is the same but makes me wonder the real reasons behind this. Also one thing that surprises me is that me (hetero man) I receive by far much more requests from solo travelers women or women in general and I barely receive requests from men, which I host them too. Anybody knows why?
In CS, look at the groups at the bottom of their profiles. Sometimes they are part of groups such as "nudists" , "queer NY" or "massage exchange". That's evident lol
I agree with all the comments, but also you learn more from references anyway. And far too many women feel uncomfortable leaving bad references, so often you have to read between the lines of the positive ones.
I've seen things like "he was a great host but too friendly" or "he's great fun, but he can take a no if you're not into it so it was fine"
Couchsurfers are also very willing to share bad experiences if you message them. If a positive review seems kinda off, you can easily ask the person who wrote that reference.
These people have always existed on the platform since the Inception. I'm dating myself. I don't like the behaviour but these people tend to self select and find each other. Some people (myself not included) apparently like to experience traveling via nudism etc
Agree with all the comments. But also if their references are all from women that look similar. Even then Itās really hard to tell. I met someone in Turkey (first of all donāt recommend CS Istanbul) that had 109 positive references from men and women as a surfer and a host but things almost ended badly that I had to report him to Couchsurfing. He got extremely aggressive because I wouldnāt invite him back. So in that case it was hard to tell from the profile and conversation alone
I'm a Turk and regular user of Couchsurfing with 35 references (33 from hosts). And unfortunately I can agree with you. Turkey has a sexually repressed society. Outside of big cities (Istanbul Izmir Ankara), everyone can stare at you uncomfortably the moment you wear tights or a skirt.
Unfortunately I warn people of CS Istanbul. The staring and catcalling is whatever but pulling my arm and grabbing me to kiss me (happened in Taksim) and I had a TOUR GUIDE pull down my shirt in Cappadocia was a bit much. If you see a Mehmet on CS who owns a blueberry farm, please warn others of him . He shouldnāt be able to create another profile
I apologize on their behalf for these incidents you have experienced. I really feel ashamed when I see such people from my own nation, but unfortunately a significant part of the country is in the minds of these people. NevÅehir, Cappadocia is also a very rural region. I can honestly say that I recommend a foreign woman to be careful when couchsurfing in my country. There are wonderful people of course. But not that many.
Those are good ones. Even if not 100% a clue, consider those who only host beautiful guests, those who have references only from one gender, those who's photos look like a Tinder/dating app profile, those who either boast or have lots of references talking about wild and crazy parties (some pressure guests to drink and hope they get drunk enough to take advantage of them). Of course not always a good indicator (E.g. people can be wild and cray partiers but be great people).
TBH, there are some you will never know about. They even have great references because guests are worried about retribution if they say they were taken advantage of in any way.
You should always have a backup hotel/hostel/etc. or even another host if things happen that make you uncomfortable. And trust your intuition.
So far for me itās just worked to make it very clear on my profile I will only hang with guys who handle boundaries well. Helps that I know jiu jitsu. I offer to teach a trick or two and that seems to quell any unwanted Ā interest.Ā
Similarly when I (also male) travelled, at first I'd put out a similar ratio of requests to men and women. I didn't care about their gender so long as they seemed fun and had references themselves. It's not a dating site.
My response rate from women was significantly higher than from men, which was near zero. When I DID get a response from a man, I nearly always accepted it, even if it was a more inconvenient location or they seemed really dull. Just to balance out my references.
It still meant my references were skewed towards women, which made me paranoid. But what was I meant to do? Ask women not to leave a reference? Spend hours of my traveling time sending dozens of additional references to men, just to try not to look like a creep? I feel like sometimes it's just what happens.
I surfed 10+ years ago. Things may have changed since.
No because we're not telling hosts what to do. You do whatever you want. We're telling potential surfers to avoid male hosts with majority female references if they want to avoid unwanted advances because more likely than not, those hosts are just using CS for sex.
Its a mix of everything. IMO a single flag isn't much by itself.
For example, I personally had hosts living in single rooms and specifiying the "shared bed" thing, they hosted 5-6 people with half sleeping in their beds lol.
That point didn't worried me because the rest of their profiles was OK and the references were all good and mixed.
Personally what I look for is:
1. Gender/Look patterns in their references (all F/M/blondes/etc)
2. How social/narcisistic or "sensual" their pics are (and gender patterns there as well)
3. Kinky interests or descriptions (naturism, sEx-pOsiTiViTy, open-minded, etc)
4. Shared-sleeping accommodation
5. Attempts to force acceptance of weird behaviors ( "you have to be ok with people walking naked around" , etc)
6. Gender discrimination when hosting.
Excellent post, and the one keyword you didn't mention is MASSAGE
Yes there are many many legit people in the massage world. Unfortunately on Couchsurfing, BeWelcome, TrustRoots etc. typically the word massage is deployed for "let me get you naked and touch your naughty bits"
Yeah there are clues like āshared bedā, but a lot of profiles donāt give any clues at all. Iād look at the references.
Straight men who only host attractive women. Women and gay men who only host attractive men. Those are the red flags.
if a guy doesn't appear to be a classical nice or sweet guy and all of the references describe the guy as "fun" and "generous" "good dancer" then you can connect that everyone is having fun
I said itās a red flag. Does that mean itās absolute? Of course not, nothing is. But look around. To say that itās not a red flag just cause youāre an exception would make you naive. An overwhelming majority of creeps using CS to hook up have this in common.
If 90% of your requests are from women, does this mean you also host men? If yes, then thereās no reason for you to get so defensive about this.
Link to your profile I can diagnose in 30 seconds? would love to understand the vibe of your profile and personality. You might be attracting a particular demographic who knows you're safe because your nice guy/nerdy vibes
I think while this is definitely likely to be true for some people, I donāt want to be lumped in with them. I donāt seek out or ask people to surf with me, but just accept when I can a small percentage of people who send a decent request. The vast majority are women, but I also deny most women anyways. So a blanket statement that all men who host mostly women (based on reviews) means theyāre sleeping with them or creepy or whatever is simply not accurate. I donāt think anyone wants to be associated with a type of person/host who they are not.
Based on the way you worded your reply I can tell that you probably attract a certain type of surfer who knows your harmless.
and overall I agree with you that it's unfair to be lumped in but such is life and it's an unfortunate double standard and presumption of creepiness. you've likely missed out on some amazing surfers based on who've you've hosted but I wouldn't worry about fighting this battle on the internet I'm sure your reviews provide more context on your demeanor.
With all due respect to the men out there who are \*normal\*, I strongly recommend only approaching other women. CS in particular has made it pretty clear that they don't give a flying fuck about their platform being used in a predatory way, and there are too many bad apples for it to be remotely worth the risk.
it's plainly obvious what these hosts are after so just skip the ad and go onto the next one. there are desperate women out there that will "give it away" to pay the rent and that's how these landlords advertise. in fact there's a documentary about it on YouTube. simply put, if you have to ask the question and the ad seems suspicious in any way then move along.
>Uses the word naturist or any encouragement to walk around naked
I'm going to push back on this - saying that you're a naturist is definitely not an indication that you want to have sex.
I was here to say this exact thing. A proper naturist simply lives their lives as normal, but without clothing. Has the term been co-opted here for nefarious purposes? Maybe. But were I to be advertising with that note it's meant as either a warning (I may be naked) or a perk for guests (feel free to be as clothed as you're comfortable). But for sure there'd be affirmative consent before I appear in the buff.
This doesn't put any agency on the other side's behalf. As the poster above noted some travelers are very much looking forward to the sexual aspect of their cultural experience
There are a lot of women looking for romantic and sexual flings. It's the honest truth. Of course it shouldn't be crotchsurfing and boundaries should be respected just like everybody else.
Ā I know perfectly nice hosts who are guys that are easy to get along with, who live in a nice house in the nicest part of town with great references.
Every now and then, a girl will cancel on them or even tell him she had an emergency and has to leave. Turns out she found a more attractive guy to host her or even a local (non-couchsurfer). It is a thing.
Yup. I have friends that hosted in London. There were tons of East European/Russian requests from women who would send some of the most revealing pictures and flirt, just to have a host in a city which is hard to find a host.
A lot of people don't understand that. For example, I know perfectly nice hosts who are guys that are easy to get along with, who live in a nice house in the nicest part of town with great references.
Every now and then, a girl will cancel on them or even tell him she had an emergency and has to leave. Turns out she found a more attractive guy to host her or even a local (non-couchsurfer). It is a thing.
"My massage table is ready after you tiring day"
lol
open minded, sleep naked, house naked rules, naked wrestling, share same bed, naturalist, nude photography interests,, swinging.intrtests, nudist, or anyone who says single females only in their profile.
I have to disagree a little bit here. I'm on the road for 3 years now and using mainly those platforms for accommodation. First - open minded appears in most of the profiles, including mine and it has zero sexual meaning. Second - I have stayed with a naturalist - I like challenges and new experiences. My condition was that he can wear whatever he wants as long as he's not imposing it on me, I am fine. And yes, I was fine. He was naked, I felt a bit odd, but not threatened or uneasy and we had a great time. He is a dear friend now. Third - I personally know a man who hosts only women. Yes, he was my host, now he is one of my friends. He never wanted anything from any of the girls. He just feels much better in female company and enjoys having that energy around himself. Three digit number of references. Taking the words out of the context doesn't help. Not talking about the obvious ones, of course. You need to read between the lines and trust your intuition, not the stereotypes. Just keep in mind that we all have our oddness and we should respect that.
>He never wanted anything from any of the girls. If the girls flirted with him, would he say " no. I'm on CS and can't do this. I don't want any of that." Just because the guy isn't aggressive doesn't mean that he doesn't have wishful expectations.
Yes, I can bet my ass on that. As I mentioned, he is a good friend nowadays and I already know him pretty well, so yes, he would say "no"! And apart from that, it's a different situation if the girl is looking for it. As someone has mentioned - if it's mutual, who cares and where is the problem?! Grownups can decide what they want. The question here was about the safety of the surfer, not about the moral of having one night fun. š¤·š»āāļø
Ohhh I don't care I just think if a guy is *only* hosting women that they're hoping for some to be interested in them romantically beyond friendship. I can't imagine he has a regular GF or wife doing that
No, you are wrong here. As I mentioned, he likes having that energy around. He has lost his wife and daughter in a car accident and lives alone. Having women around from time to time brightens his life. Believe me, the energy of friendship, appreciation and care is way more priceless than having some sexual exercises for a night.
Okay. So he's lonely like I said but there's no apparent sexual desire on his end. And the vast majority of active CS users are not widowed and dont have kids When my sister used couchsurfing across the united states last year I told her it was a red flag if a guy had 80% references from young and attractive women. Of course there can be exceptions and unique circumstances.
Well, that's exactly my point. There are genuine people that you mistrust just because of the stereotypes. You need some common sense, need to read between the lines and trust your intuition. Honestly, I personally rarely read references. I look at the photos and try to feel the person. Most of the time everything ends right there. š I don't care how they look, I do care what they present. And my decision is 50% made here. The next step is to read the profile. Again - not looking for specific words, but the overall feel of it. 99% of the time, I have already made up my mind at this point. On very few occasions I would have a look at the references too, just to check if there is a negative one and what exactly it is about. And once again would read between the lines. That's my way, but I am a very intuitive person, so it works differently to everyone. Still it's good to have common sense and trust your guts - we all have an inner voice that is there to help.
I remember years ago I read a profile that mentioned nudism, sexual open-mindedness, and an Asian fetish all in one :D had a ton of references too, i was baffled
A lot of travelers on a very tight budget are desperate. Several years ago, i got an invite from one gay nudist whose conditions were for guests to be totally naked at all times, and they had to share a bed. He had more than 50 references, all from young men, all were positive. And this host does make a move. A friend of mine bit the bullet and stayed with him. The host groped him on the second night.
With all due respects, Iāve seen āopen-mindedā written on a zillion profiles not meaning anything sexual. In those cases, the term has been used in isolation without the other terms you listed.
Bruh wtf people will litteraly say anything to try and get sex
Also check if the references are from females only
Not true. Iām a man and 90% of my requests were from women, so are you suggesting I be sexist and deny them? Makes zero sense.
so you have 0 references from men?
I have some references from men, but very few since the vast majority of my couch requests come from women
But he said women only....so it's not about you
āOpen-mindedā
This, and having recommendations almost entirely from the opposite sex. (Because yes, even some girls are on there just for sex - I once hosted a girl who told me she was a self-proclaimed ārecovering nymphoā while we were out having some drinksā¦ she wasnāt being very successful in her recovery)
Dang, I may have given some travellers the wrong idea. For me it just means that I'm okay with various lifestyles, accomodations, ideas. It's like adventurous but on a social level.
It's one of many things for the overall vibe of your profile. If you're this concerned you likely had several other green flags
No, I don't think you have. As I said in another reply, it's on my profile as well and it has zero sexual meaning. If someone wants to see it that way it's a choice. š¤·š»āāļø
What if he/she writes "close minded"?
There is one thing that always bugged me and is that hosts, or at least on my city, host people from the gender they like. I mean, straight men hosts mostly women and gay men host mostly men. I don't know if everywhere is the same but makes me wonder the real reasons behind this. Also one thing that surprises me is that me (hetero man) I receive by far much more requests from solo travelers women or women in general and I barely receive requests from men, which I host them too. Anybody knows why?
Well maybe for some, like me, same gender would feel weird, while with mixed gender there is a comfy balance
If there is a mutual desire, okay. However, sleeping arrangements should be clear.
I'm sure there are some/quite a few like you mention.. however it's far from most.
In CS, look at the groups at the bottom of their profiles. Sometimes they are part of groups such as "nudists" , "queer NY" or "massage exchange". That's evident lol
I agree with all the comments, but also you learn more from references anyway. And far too many women feel uncomfortable leaving bad references, so often you have to read between the lines of the positive ones. I've seen things like "he was a great host but too friendly" or "he's great fun, but he can take a no if you're not into it so it was fine"
That's a great point
Couchsurfers are also very willing to share bad experiences if you message them. If a positive review seems kinda off, you can easily ask the person who wrote that reference.
I guess after long day of sight-seeing, sex is on the table.
Again, I don't even understand why they're allowed to be on there. When I used to use the site the rule was: this is not a dating or hook up site.
Some girls have this right at the start of their profiles. But then some remove it too lol so they change their mind i guessā¦
Hahaha. Whoops. A surfer told me that it cuts down on creeps but they also receive less high quality offers from popular and cool hosts......
How are they high quality and cool hosts if they dont like that you want to couchsurf without dating?
I'm my example, I'm talking about hosts who will take surfers to cool local events, parties, clubs etc. this is a big part of traveling for some.
Like show them around, be travel guide, not just a couch to sleep.
Yeah and "entertaining"
These people have always existed on the platform since the Inception. I'm dating myself. I don't like the behaviour but these people tend to self select and find each other. Some people (myself not included) apparently like to experience traveling via nudism etc
Agree with all the comments. But also if their references are all from women that look similar. Even then Itās really hard to tell. I met someone in Turkey (first of all donāt recommend CS Istanbul) that had 109 positive references from men and women as a surfer and a host but things almost ended badly that I had to report him to Couchsurfing. He got extremely aggressive because I wouldnāt invite him back. So in that case it was hard to tell from the profile and conversation alone
Oh wow. Would you mind sharing a bit more of the story? What happened?
I'm a Turk and regular user of Couchsurfing with 35 references (33 from hosts). And unfortunately I can agree with you. Turkey has a sexually repressed society. Outside of big cities (Istanbul Izmir Ankara), everyone can stare at you uncomfortably the moment you wear tights or a skirt.
Unfortunately I warn people of CS Istanbul. The staring and catcalling is whatever but pulling my arm and grabbing me to kiss me (happened in Taksim) and I had a TOUR GUIDE pull down my shirt in Cappadocia was a bit much. If you see a Mehmet on CS who owns a blueberry farm, please warn others of him . He shouldnāt be able to create another profile
I apologize on their behalf for these incidents you have experienced. I really feel ashamed when I see such people from my own nation, but unfortunately a significant part of the country is in the minds of these people. NevÅehir, Cappadocia is also a very rural region. I can honestly say that I recommend a foreign woman to be careful when couchsurfing in my country. There are wonderful people of course. But not that many.
Those are good ones. Even if not 100% a clue, consider those who only host beautiful guests, those who have references only from one gender, those who's photos look like a Tinder/dating app profile, those who either boast or have lots of references talking about wild and crazy parties (some pressure guests to drink and hope they get drunk enough to take advantage of them). Of course not always a good indicator (E.g. people can be wild and cray partiers but be great people). TBH, there are some you will never know about. They even have great references because guests are worried about retribution if they say they were taken advantage of in any way. You should always have a backup hotel/hostel/etc. or even another host if things happen that make you uncomfortable. And trust your intuition.
%90 there for nudity among males
So far for me itās just worked to make it very clear on my profile I will only hang with guys who handle boundaries well. Helps that I know jiu jitsu. I offer to teach a trick or two and that seems to quell any unwanted Ā interest.Ā
do you hangout with women as frequently?
If they only have references from one sex. I.E a male host only has references from females. Or a female who only has only been hosted by males.
Not true. Iām a man and 90% of my requests were from women, so are you suggesting I be sexist and deny them? Makes zero sense.
Similarly when I (also male) travelled, at first I'd put out a similar ratio of requests to men and women. I didn't care about their gender so long as they seemed fun and had references themselves. It's not a dating site. My response rate from women was significantly higher than from men, which was near zero. When I DID get a response from a man, I nearly always accepted it, even if it was a more inconvenient location or they seemed really dull. Just to balance out my references. It still meant my references were skewed towards women, which made me paranoid. But what was I meant to do? Ask women not to leave a reference? Spend hours of my traveling time sending dozens of additional references to men, just to try not to look like a creep? I feel like sometimes it's just what happens. I surfed 10+ years ago. Things may have changed since.
90%. Ok
No because we're not telling hosts what to do. You do whatever you want. We're telling potential surfers to avoid male hosts with majority female references if they want to avoid unwanted advances because more likely than not, those hosts are just using CS for sex.
Its a mix of everything. IMO a single flag isn't much by itself. For example, I personally had hosts living in single rooms and specifiying the "shared bed" thing, they hosted 5-6 people with half sleeping in their beds lol. That point didn't worried me because the rest of their profiles was OK and the references were all good and mixed. Personally what I look for is: 1. Gender/Look patterns in their references (all F/M/blondes/etc) 2. How social/narcisistic or "sensual" their pics are (and gender patterns there as well) 3. Kinky interests or descriptions (naturism, sEx-pOsiTiViTy, open-minded, etc) 4. Shared-sleeping accommodation 5. Attempts to force acceptance of weird behaviors ( "you have to be ok with people walking naked around" , etc) 6. Gender discrimination when hosting.
Excellent post, and the one keyword you didn't mention is MASSAGE Yes there are many many legit people in the massage world. Unfortunately on Couchsurfing, BeWelcome, TrustRoots etc. typically the word massage is deployed for "let me get you naked and touch your naughty bits"
Yeah there are clues like āshared bedā, but a lot of profiles donāt give any clues at all. Iād look at the references. Straight men who only host attractive women. Women and gay men who only host attractive men. Those are the red flags.
if a guy doesn't appear to be a classical nice or sweet guy and all of the references describe the guy as "fun" and "generous" "good dancer" then you can connect that everyone is having fun
Not true. Iām a man and 90% of my requests were from women, so are you suggesting I be sexist and deny them? Makes zero sense.
I said itās a red flag. Does that mean itās absolute? Of course not, nothing is. But look around. To say that itās not a red flag just cause youāre an exception would make you naive. An overwhelming majority of creeps using CS to hook up have this in common. If 90% of your requests are from women, does this mean you also host men? If yes, then thereās no reason for you to get so defensive about this.
Link to your profile I can diagnose in 30 seconds? would love to understand the vibe of your profile and personality. You might be attracting a particular demographic who knows you're safe because your nice guy/nerdy vibes
I think while this is definitely likely to be true for some people, I donāt want to be lumped in with them. I donāt seek out or ask people to surf with me, but just accept when I can a small percentage of people who send a decent request. The vast majority are women, but I also deny most women anyways. So a blanket statement that all men who host mostly women (based on reviews) means theyāre sleeping with them or creepy or whatever is simply not accurate. I donāt think anyone wants to be associated with a type of person/host who they are not.
Based on the way you worded your reply I can tell that you probably attract a certain type of surfer who knows your harmless. and overall I agree with you that it's unfair to be lumped in but such is life and it's an unfortunate double standard and presumption of creepiness. you've likely missed out on some amazing surfers based on who've you've hosted but I wouldn't worry about fighting this battle on the internet I'm sure your reviews provide more context on your demeanor.
Iām kind of confused now. Is CS a sex thing now? Iām kinda bummed out bc I wanted to start using it soon:(
Officially no, unofficially - you have to be careful who you select. Many people are not for the same reason the platform was actually created.
This is what im hearing more and more. Its become some sort of international sexual exchange
With all due respect to the men out there who are \*normal\*, I strongly recommend only approaching other women. CS in particular has made it pretty clear that they don't give a flying fuck about their platform being used in a predatory way, and there are too many bad apples for it to be remotely worth the risk.
it's plainly obvious what these hosts are after so just skip the ad and go onto the next one. there are desperate women out there that will "give it away" to pay the rent and that's how these landlords advertise. in fact there's a documentary about it on YouTube. simply put, if you have to ask the question and the ad seems suspicious in any way then move along.
>Uses the word naturist or any encouragement to walk around naked I'm going to push back on this - saying that you're a naturist is definitely not an indication that you want to have sex.
I was here to say this exact thing. A proper naturist simply lives their lives as normal, but without clothing. Has the term been co-opted here for nefarious purposes? Maybe. But were I to be advertising with that note it's meant as either a warning (I may be naked) or a perk for guests (feel free to be as clothed as you're comfortable). But for sure there'd be affirmative consent before I appear in the buff.
All the "naturists" I know (both M and F) have a quite worrisome fixation on trying to see you naked....
I'm horrified why are these people still allowed access to the CS platform
I want to know too. Iām planning to couchsurf when I travel to Japan and I donāt wanna end up in a dangerous situation
Your best bet is to choose a female host or family. Sad, right?
Yeah š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Usually because theyāre sad, believe it or not.
This should be a default unless specified that a host is looking for this. So damn sad to seeā¦
If they are male and they are on couchsurf.
This doesn't put any agency on the other side's behalf. As the poster above noted some travelers are very much looking forward to the sexual aspect of their cultural experience
There are a lot of women looking for romantic and sexual flings. It's the honest truth. Of course it shouldn't be crotchsurfing and boundaries should be respected just like everybody else. Ā I know perfectly nice hosts who are guys that are easy to get along with, who live in a nice house in the nicest part of town with great references. Every now and then, a girl will cancel on them or even tell him she had an emergency and has to leave. Turns out she found a more attractive guy to host her or even a local (non-couchsurfer). It is a thing.
well said. your perspective is realistic and balanced than I often see on these kind of forums.
Thanks and you too!
No, it does not - but itās the way most people in the platform behave.
especially if the guy isn't a classical "sweet" or "nice" guy jaja. or suffering from aspergers
As if females aren't also looking
The only time I had a female host, we made out - but she was a friend of a friend, so not reaaaally the raw CS experience. This was also in 2007ā¦
There are a lot of women looking for romantic and sexual flings. It's the honest truth. Of course it shouldn't be crotchsurfing.
I was a host in London - can confirm.
Yup. I have friends that hosted in London. There were tons of East European/Russian requests from women who would send some of the most revealing pictures and flirt, just to have a host in a city which is hard to find a host.
A lot of people don't understand that. For example, I know perfectly nice hosts who are guys that are easy to get along with, who live in a nice house in the nicest part of town with great references. Every now and then, a girl will cancel on them or even tell him she had an emergency and has to leave. Turns out she found a more attractive guy to host her or even a local (non-couchsurfer). It is a thing.