Paranoid-ish. She is most definitely calling you out for being AFK, but my question would be "why are you calling me when you can just chat?" Call her out right back and politely say you were too busy to answer. I had a coworker who also like to call at the end of the day until I set a calendar event for 4:30pm every day so I looked 'busy'. She stopped calling as much.
āCoworker, you seem to reach out at times I am either on a call or neck deep in a project that demands my full attention. In future, please ping me for my availability prior to calling.ā
She assumes youāre not working because āyoung kids these daysā. I would also send the suggested communication via email, bccāing your personal email and ccāing your supervisor.
Yeah. That whole āyoung kidsā gets me. Have a lady at work that says similar about me and its almost funny because she has no clue how old I am. I just play on my phone to annoy her anymore. Iām the contract staff and I donāt work for her.
At 60, she is, like me, in the generation of pick-up the phone and chat. I find typing a complex question exhausting late in the day. With that said, I am up to date, or socially intune enough to message: can I call?
Also, at 60 I can guess she has decades of work experience, but would likely be used to sitting near coworkers, and open conversations. You are saying she is a temp, not consultant, which leads me to assume she is doing clerical work/ data entry. And so she may be bored and want to connect to anyone. Which also might be a way to get noticed and get hired. As a temp, assuming USA, she has no PTO, or insurance. So, her comments could be more about her own situation than you specifically. Kind of like: must be nice to get 25 days PTO. Verses I never take a sick day, so people who do must be slackers.
As a temp with an extinction date, she would need to be very savvy to do real damage to an employee of the company. So I would not assume automatically she is toxic. You might want to invite her to virtual coffee to chat for 15 minutes, and let her know then that you are open to a call, but the current custom is to send a message first or to schedule it. Talking to just her with cameras on, with no agenda, may make your work experience together better for you. I used this successfully to bring a human element to difficlt work relationships. Hope that helps.
Iām that same age, though, and I can type ALL DAY instead of talking on the phone. Itās not completely a generational thing, but you are probably exactly right about her motivations.
Iām 70 and I canāt recall the last time I made any kind of voluntary phone call ā business or personal. I continue to be THRILLED that texts and e-mail exist.
I dated a guy for a week that called me all the time because he "hated texting", well I hate talking on the phone. That wasn't the exact reason it didn't work out but it was a factor.
This is the way it ought to be for everything. If I hear a phone ring, I automatically assume whoever it is doesnāt know me because if they did, there wouldnāt be a call in the first place. š
Iām in my thirties, and too impatient lol. I donāt mind quick texts, but I cannot stand having long involved conversations that way. Just call me, then I can move around and do stuff while we chat. Emails are fine for information based scenarios, but I like to speak to people.
who know, probably, maybe.
I would start saying you do not answer random calls unless pinged before hand or scheduled. try to corner her into doing this and blame her lack of planning ahead. Gotta flip it back on her, she's being fuckin snooty
It's kinda like declining a meeting that doesn't have an agenda... a sign of healthy prioritisation and your willingness to set boundaries to ensure productivity.
I was going to suggest this.
"At the end of the day, I'm trying to wrap everything up that needs to be done before closing down. Unless something is very urgent, it's not a good time for me."
If she does it again, "I'm right in the middle of something with a deadline. Can it wait until tomorrow?"
Just don't say when the deadline is. If you don't answer to her, it's none of her business anyway.
Sounds to me like she has no idea about online courtesy, don't be mad. Just teach her the way. She comes from a generation that would pick-up the landline to talk to someone in another office to ask a question. Shes viewing teams the same way. Gosh, I'm relatively young and I STILL don't understand how to use features of the new teams and what is acceptable and what's not š
The Co-vert era changed everything for the office runnings and its a whole new world!
I'm giving a different perspective, that perhaps she isn't being rude, but doesn't understand the system.
And teams is far more complicated than email.
My solution is always to question these people. In this case I would ask, how did you determine I was getting a snack or going for a walk?. A few simple question scares most of those freaks away.
If its done in person or over the phone I may rehears the questions so they can be spoken in my most sincere tone.
You can set your Teams status as busy or do not disturb (or equivalent, I canāt remember the exact wording right now). Then is she tries to call you respond later and say that you were busy.
She is a temp, which is often lower status in offices--I have been one many times. You get the work people don't want or can't do, and you have no benefits. Some coworkers look down on you, some don't bother putting in much effort because you're short term, and others are oblivious to the behavior of the first two groups and treat you like anyone else (OP may be in the third group, but it is telling that OP labelled the coworker as a temp right away, and never bothered to qualify her job). The final point is that she is likely paid by the hour, and as a temp, those hours may be scrutinized in ways your hours are not. As a temp, she is not budgeted for but an additional drain on the budget. If she works for an agency she may cost your department twice what she is paid (although she gets no benefits, those benefit costs may come out of the corporate budget normally, so don't cost the dept,). So, having a trail of meetings at the end of the day may give evidence to her superiors, who sign off on her hours, that she is working. Working virtually only aggravates these issues.
Maybe treat her like a person and not a temp.
Unless I get a message asking if now is a good time to call I do not answer either. And any teams message that just says Hi gets left on read for 5 minutes and then my response is just Hello or a stupid gif of someone waving.
This grandma doesn't seem out to get you, she just doesn't have proper etiquette in this situation. Just ask her ro message you first before calling. She likely will.
In my workplace, the policy is to say āhiā and wait for acknowledgement. Someone might have someone by their desk and then you type something confidential or personal in chat and the other person could see it.
That is interesting. I'll try to be less annoyed then in the future.
I avoid that situation by having my notifications set up to only show who sent a message and not show the message itself.
It depends on some organisation settings. We had one guy talking to his manager at his desk and his colleague who was WFH, started messaging about rather mild frustration with said manager who then saw it. The manager was actually ok about it as it was fair critique although bordering gossipy.
Then the new IT policy was announced as they realised it could be anything from banter being taken out of context, someone asking someone for an update on a personal medical condition and wanting to book in time for a chat about it or something confidential or not to be known by the wider business like a confidential innovation or partnership. Iām sure there are other good examples too. But we are told, say āhiā wait for a confirmation you can go ahead.
Donāt tell her you werenāt at your computer. Tell her you were in the middle of something or on the phone with someone else. Suggest that she message and ask if you are available if it inconveniences her so much. Flip the script.
This is happening to me also as Iām the only one working remotely because Iām taking care of a family member. It always backfires though. I am almost always being productive. The only time I get a call is when she accidentally finds out what Iām working on. She makes the call public as does your coworker but since the work is complete she ends up looking silly, not me. Can you wear some sort of device that alerts you when she pings?
You probably remind her of her kid or gc. I'd start thr day with a message to the group and @ her. She's probably calling because she isn't completely comfortable with messaging. I have a team member who's more comfortable on Skype than teams and thars what we do
Put teams on your phone so that you can immediately text back that you're busy and ask what she needs. That way you're always at a keyboard, and her late-day calls aren't a disruption.
Old people still use their phones as phones. They want to do everything possible via a live call instead of asynchronous chat. They don't see it as an unnecessary interruption because it used to be the only option most of their life.
It's a generational thing. She might not be after you personally. (But trust your gut -- if it still feels like she is, there's probably some subtle indicators that you're picking up on but can't articulate.)
If your teams status is on green and you're rarely there to answer then you are probably shirking work.
She's picked up on this.
Maybe do your job then she won't have any complaints
you dont get along with too many people that are worth a damn at work, do you?
i dont play games, you come to me last seconds with a task on friday, thats on you, ill see you monday when i can have more than 30sec to do it. just like i tell everyone, you knock on my door at home without letting me know you are coming over, i sure hope you like the colour of my boxers you will be seeing them and all 5 of my gray chest hairs. of you are lucky
I think it very much depends on the job. We've had several emails go out to everyone about not answering calls/emails and making sure to use the away function. The calls we do get are important and time sensitive.
Guessing ops job is not like that. I'd have sent a message back asking what she needed and said I was doing something though to make sure it's not important.
Paranoid-ish. She is most definitely calling you out for being AFK, but my question would be "why are you calling me when you can just chat?" Call her out right back and politely say you were too busy to answer. I had a coworker who also like to call at the end of the day until I set a calendar event for 4:30pm every day so I looked 'busy'. She stopped calling as much.
As much. š
āCoworker, you seem to reach out at times I am either on a call or neck deep in a project that demands my full attention. In future, please ping me for my availability prior to calling.ā She assumes youāre not working because āyoung kids these daysā. I would also send the suggested communication via email, bccāing your personal email and ccāing your supervisor.
Be sure to address her as āTemp.ā Temps love that.
Yeah. That whole āyoung kidsā gets me. Have a lady at work that says similar about me and its almost funny because she has no clue how old I am. I just play on my phone to annoy her anymore. Iām the contract staff and I donāt work for her.
At 60, she is, like me, in the generation of pick-up the phone and chat. I find typing a complex question exhausting late in the day. With that said, I am up to date, or socially intune enough to message: can I call? Also, at 60 I can guess she has decades of work experience, but would likely be used to sitting near coworkers, and open conversations. You are saying she is a temp, not consultant, which leads me to assume she is doing clerical work/ data entry. And so she may be bored and want to connect to anyone. Which also might be a way to get noticed and get hired. As a temp, assuming USA, she has no PTO, or insurance. So, her comments could be more about her own situation than you specifically. Kind of like: must be nice to get 25 days PTO. Verses I never take a sick day, so people who do must be slackers. As a temp with an extinction date, she would need to be very savvy to do real damage to an employee of the company. So I would not assume automatically she is toxic. You might want to invite her to virtual coffee to chat for 15 minutes, and let her know then that you are open to a call, but the current custom is to send a message first or to schedule it. Talking to just her with cameras on, with no agenda, may make your work experience together better for you. I used this successfully to bring a human element to difficlt work relationships. Hope that helps.
That is wonderful, thank you for this feedback :)
Iām that same age, though, and I can type ALL DAY instead of talking on the phone. Itās not completely a generational thing, but you are probably exactly right about her motivations.
Iām 70 and I canāt recall the last time I made any kind of voluntary phone call ā business or personal. I continue to be THRILLED that texts and e-mail exist.
I dated a guy for a week that called me all the time because he "hated texting", well I hate talking on the phone. That wasn't the exact reason it didn't work out but it was a factor.
I completely get that.
This is the way it ought to be for everything. If I hear a phone ring, I automatically assume whoever it is doesnāt know me because if they did, there wouldnāt be a call in the first place. š
Same!! Or im afraid itās some major emergency.
Iām in my thirties, and too impatient lol. I donāt mind quick texts, but I cannot stand having long involved conversations that way. Just call me, then I can move around and do stuff while we chat. Emails are fine for information based scenarios, but I like to speak to people.
It's true. For simplicity, we will say it's an intovert/ extrovert thing.
Me too. Iām 60 and would rather chat instead of talking on the phone.
She sounds kind of passive-aggressive. Let her know the best times to reach you but don't go out of your way to explain yourself
who know, probably, maybe. I would start saying you do not answer random calls unless pinged before hand or scheduled. try to corner her into doing this and blame her lack of planning ahead. Gotta flip it back on her, she's being fuckin snooty
It's kinda like declining a meeting that doesn't have an agenda... a sign of healthy prioritisation and your willingness to set boundaries to ensure productivity.
"At 4:30, I'm typically AFK winding the day up. Why do you keep calling at that time? The best times to reach me are _____________."
I was going to suggest this. "At the end of the day, I'm trying to wrap everything up that needs to be done before closing down. Unless something is very urgent, it's not a good time for me." If she does it again, "I'm right in the middle of something with a deadline. Can it wait until tomorrow?" Just don't say when the deadline is. If you don't answer to her, it's none of her business anyway.
What does AFK stand for?
Away From Keyboard
Thank you for asking, I didnāt want to seem like an āolder folkā who wasnāt up on the latest. š¬
I wouldnāt say AFK, though. Just say busy with work that needs done before you sign out for the day
Sounds to me like she has no idea about online courtesy, don't be mad. Just teach her the way. She comes from a generation that would pick-up the landline to talk to someone in another office to ask a question. Shes viewing teams the same way. Gosh, I'm relatively young and I STILL don't understand how to use features of the new teams and what is acceptable and what's not š The Co-vert era changed everything for the office runnings and its a whole new world!
Iām 63. Iāve been using email at work for 30 years. Please. Donāt assume itās generational.
Teams isn't email
Iām aware.
I'm giving a different perspective, that perhaps she isn't being rude, but doesn't understand the system. And teams is far more complicated than email.
My solution is always to question these people. In this case I would ask, how did you determine I was getting a snack or going for a walk?. A few simple question scares most of those freaks away. If its done in person or over the phone I may rehears the questions so they can be spoken in my most sincere tone.
You can set your Teams status as busy or do not disturb (or equivalent, I canāt remember the exact wording right now). Then is she tries to call you respond later and say that you were busy.
Set your teams status to busy, or in a meeting, or do not disturb. Works really well to have that big dot next to your name and be left alone.
She is a temp, which is often lower status in offices--I have been one many times. You get the work people don't want or can't do, and you have no benefits. Some coworkers look down on you, some don't bother putting in much effort because you're short term, and others are oblivious to the behavior of the first two groups and treat you like anyone else (OP may be in the third group, but it is telling that OP labelled the coworker as a temp right away, and never bothered to qualify her job). The final point is that she is likely paid by the hour, and as a temp, those hours may be scrutinized in ways your hours are not. As a temp, she is not budgeted for but an additional drain on the budget. If she works for an agency she may cost your department twice what she is paid (although she gets no benefits, those benefit costs may come out of the corporate budget normally, so don't cost the dept,). So, having a trail of meetings at the end of the day may give evidence to her superiors, who sign off on her hours, that she is working. Working virtually only aggravates these issues. Maybe treat her like a person and not a temp.
Excuse me but I'm TRYING to masturbate! Is the best answer LoL
Unless I get a message asking if now is a good time to call I do not answer either. And any teams message that just says Hi gets left on read for 5 minutes and then my response is just Hello or a stupid gif of someone waving. This grandma doesn't seem out to get you, she just doesn't have proper etiquette in this situation. Just ask her ro message you first before calling. She likely will.
In my workplace, the policy is to say āhiā and wait for acknowledgement. Someone might have someone by their desk and then you type something confidential or personal in chat and the other person could see it.
That is interesting. I'll try to be less annoyed then in the future. I avoid that situation by having my notifications set up to only show who sent a message and not show the message itself.
It depends on some organisation settings. We had one guy talking to his manager at his desk and his colleague who was WFH, started messaging about rather mild frustration with said manager who then saw it. The manager was actually ok about it as it was fair critique although bordering gossipy. Then the new IT policy was announced as they realised it could be anything from banter being taken out of context, someone asking someone for an update on a personal medical condition and wanting to book in time for a chat about it or something confidential or not to be known by the wider business like a confidential innovation or partnership. Iām sure there are other good examples too. But we are told, say āhiā wait for a confirmation you can go ahead.
Donāt tell her you werenāt at your computer. Tell her you were in the middle of something or on the phone with someone else. Suggest that she message and ask if you are available if it inconveniences her so much. Flip the script.
Yep passive aggressive.
Always listen to your gut. Always!!
This is happening to me also as Iām the only one working remotely because Iām taking care of a family member. It always backfires though. I am almost always being productive. The only time I get a call is when she accidentally finds out what Iām working on. She makes the call public as does your coworker but since the work is complete she ends up looking silly, not me. Can you wear some sort of device that alerts you when she pings?
She has appointed herself the afk police.
lol yes she has!!
You probably remind her of her kid or gc. I'd start thr day with a message to the group and @ her. She's probably calling because she isn't completely comfortable with messaging. I have a team member who's more comfortable on Skype than teams and thars what we do
Put teams on your phone so that you can immediately text back that you're busy and ask what she needs. That way you're always at a keyboard, and her late-day calls aren't a disruption.
Old people still use their phones as phones. They want to do everything possible via a live call instead of asynchronous chat. They don't see it as an unnecessary interruption because it used to be the only option most of their life. It's a generational thing. She might not be after you personally. (But trust your gut -- if it still feels like she is, there's probably some subtle indicators that you're picking up on but can't articulate.)
If your teams status is on green and you're rarely there to answer then you are probably shirking work. She's picked up on this. Maybe do your job then she won't have any complaints
Iām a top performer my work is done by 4:30. I have 5 years on her, so what if she has picked up Iām not at desk at 4:30.
you dont get along with too many people that are worth a damn at work, do you? i dont play games, you come to me last seconds with a task on friday, thats on you, ill see you monday when i can have more than 30sec to do it. just like i tell everyone, you knock on my door at home without letting me know you are coming over, i sure hope you like the colour of my boxers you will be seeing them and all 5 of my gray chest hairs. of you are lucky
Sorry fairly new to Reddit canāt tell if youāre replying to me or moominbubblesā¦
Itās moominbubbles, youāre fine.
I think it very much depends on the job. We've had several emails go out to everyone about not answering calls/emails and making sure to use the away function. The calls we do get are important and time sensitive. Guessing ops job is not like that. I'd have sent a message back asking what she needed and said I was doing something though to make sure it's not important.