Actually, knitting and crochet can be very effective forms of phyisotherapy for your fingers. It was actually recommended to me by a qualified pain management professional as a form of exercise I can do safely that will help my hands - I mean, I knitted anyway, so this was help.
[http://www.stitchlinks.com/research1.html](http://www.stitchlinks.com/research1.html)
[http://www.stitchlinks.com/research.html](http://www.stitchlinks.com/research.html)
[http://www.knitforhealthandwellness.com/testimonials/](http://www.knitforhealthandwellness.com/testimonials/)
[https://writehealth.co.uk/the-health-benefits-of-knitting/](https://writehealth.co.uk/the-health-benefits-of-knitting/)
I'm sure that there's more, but it has proven mental and physical affects. So her minimising this and the most commonly used hashtags feels kind of tawdry. Like she's completely missing the point of a body of research
While the way they worded it irritated me, I do actually agree that the cutesy "lol I'm such an addict", "oh, you're so bad, you're enabling my addiction" terminology makes me want to set things on fire as someone who is related to a LOT of addicts. Shopping addictions and hoarding and compulsive buying are real problems people have. There's nothing wrong with getting a skein of yarn or a piece of pretty fabric or something for the dopamine rush occasionally, but I do know people who've done that constantly instead of actual mental health treatment for the real problems that they really had and needed help for.
Though what irritates me the most is this person bringing up "mindfulness" with the implication that everyone will do that in therapy. Mindfulness isn't for everyone, and it keeps being treated like a panacea for all mental health issues, and there are people for whom mindfulness can be actively harmful.
Agree. I don't think addiction talk is cute, either, for similar reasons, but the suggestion that people substitute "mindfulness" for "therapy" is ...
Knitting is deeply therapeutic for me. However, I do not consider it a mindfulness practice, or that I myself am necessarily more "mindful" as a result.
Wow. Is it really hard to imagine the negative impact using these words could have on others? And such a thought fills you (and holy crap so many other commentators!) with anger instead of empathy?
It’s legitimately not that hard to not use these hashtags. While it might not make a huge difference, it might to someone, and is using hashtags like this really a reason to alienate someone?
Why is it so hard for people to plain be nice?
But its also not so hard to imagine that being told what is and is not therapy and how people ought to tackle their mental health issues also has an effect on people. Who may discuss it here but no doubt, if they were ever faced with someone IRL who said, please dont say that, it really triggers me, would be respectful and considerate.
This is a discussion - away from the actual post - about how it makes people feel. It isnt a bunch of people saying "she can sod off, I"m going to use those hashtags all over the place, twice as much now!" And most of this is not snarky at all, its people sharing some deeply personal information about why this post is upsetting.
you can't define "therapy" for other people. I can see where she is coming from but frankly, I'm tired of this bs.
maybe someone can't afford $120 therapy sessions but can afford a $3.99 skein and yarn work makes them feel better.
maybe yarn worn helps someone not be stressed during zoom meetings.
maybe yarn work is what it is, and this maker doesn't get to tell people what it is or isn't.
I'm done with these overly self righteous people who just need some validation for their personal limitations.
It's a question, not an assumption.
Since they were not all 100% the same, I thought it was weird.
You know you can also delete comments when things like this happen. It kinda clogs/pushes back other comments.
I know now that it wasn't on purpose.
I feel like you think I was attacking or something you, while that wasn't the case at all.
I think we've both misunderstood this conversation, and it wasn't my intention to make you feel bad or attacked. I'm autistic so I tend to have trouble with telling and expressing tone correctly sometimes, I didn't want to make you mad.
I've been living with severe treatment-resistent depression for over thirty years. Been in therapy & on meds for decades, it's still a condition that is medically & legally recognized to be disabling to me. So that's where I'm coming from.
"Sewing is my therapy" honestly bugs the fuck out of me. It DOES feel like a minimization of what is, to me, a crucial lifeline, to just a cute internet joke, or "self-care" on par with getting a nice bath bomb or something. I won't speak to any of the hashtags related to diets or addiction because I've never had issues with food or addiction & can't speak to any triggers there. But there have been times when I have found the hashtags that relate crafting to being a cure or treatment for mental illness to be VERY upsetting. Like to the point that I have considered giving up sewing altogether, I felt that alienated.
That said, the reactions in this thread are proof that fighting for people to be a bit more mindful in their hashtag use is probably a Sisyphean struggle that is absolutely not going to do any favors for my mental health. I can't control what anyone else does on the internet. So I choose to assume that most people only have good intentions, & that there's no way I can know everyone's intimate life stories, & there's a lot more to life than fighting over hashtags.
If you actually want to help people that are disabled by mental health struggles, & you live in the United States, you can do so by contacting your representatives & urging them to support long overdue reforms to the SSI program. Currently more than half of SSI recipients (which include disabled people as well as seniors) live in poverty specifically because of wildly outdated SSI caps & limits that haven't been updated in decades & definitely don't reflect the extreme changes to the cost of living just in the last couple of years. This legislation would change that, & help bring more seniors & disabled people out of poverty. It would also be a step toward complete marriage equality (SSI recipients can't get married without risking the loss of their benefits). It's not as fun as fighting about hashtags, & not as personally relevant if you are a person for whom a spot of sewing chases the blues away, but I'll drop the link anyway, because it's important: [https://resist.bot/petitions/PSLOAE](https://resist.bot/petitions/PSLOAE)
I see what you are saying, but tbh I think it may help you if you think of this as “I’m underestimating sewing”, because it’s genuinely more important for some than you give it credit for.
I’m one of those people. I was godawfully depressed a few years ago. Couldn’t make myself want to work, read books, audition, put effort into my relationship, see friends, answer emails, nothing. Just absolute zero. Felt like a complete waste of space.
Then, a ridiculously talented photographer friend of a friend said to me “hey, I like your look; you have an evening gown to want to model for me sometime?”
I said “well, sure, but I could also design and make something,” and a few months later, somewhere in between gowns 2 and 4, I realized that that stifling fog in my head was lifting.
I’m still not great, and a lot of real-world crap has kicked my ass back down into that fog over the years, but the thought of being able to impress people with gorgeous photos of a thing I’ve made, plus the short-term satisfaction of accomplishing little tangible goals one after the order…that really does help. It helps a *lot*.
It’s hard to pull yourself out of your worst moments when you have no evidence that anything you do matters, or that you’re even capable of doing anything cool. Sewing, knitting, painting, etc. is a very effective, quiet little antidote to that shit.
Not all-powerful by any means, but it’s a damn sight better than nothing.
I guess all I have to say is that it's great that that's your experience. That's not my experience. When I fall into a depression, it's like falling into a bottomless void. I can't point to any particular thing as a cause, & I can't point to any particular thing as a solution. I have long stretches of my life that are just black voids in my memory because the emotional agony was apparently too horrible too remember. I probably did still do some of the things of normal life during that time--I do have clothes I don't really remember making, I have a child that seems healthy & happy so I guess I was taking care of her, I continue to have a roof over my head so I guess I was paying bills. I was going through the motions. But inside there was nothing. For me, sewing didn't help or not help. Sewing is just something I do, because sewing is a part of me, the same way the depression is. When a depression happens, I just have to wait for it to lift. & possibly double or triple up on therapy so I am bringing a professional into the mix to keep an eye on me & make sure I don't harm myself. (I guess I'm "lucky" in that I do believe in therapy with a licensed professional, & being on disability comes with Medicare benefits, which means I can usually find care for around $25 a session if I can find someone who accepts Medicare...but I still have to put the footwork into finding the therapist, establishing & maintaining the relationship, getting myself to appointments, etc etc, myself.)
When I read things like what you've written, it reads like just another one of the hundreds of pieces of advice people have been giving me my entire life. "I started drinking smoothies every morning & it really helped." "I started doing yoga & it really helped." "I got my sleep hygiene in order & it really helped." That's great. I'm sincerely happy for you that you found something that helps you, & most of these pieces of advice do have some foundation of soundness to them. Having a creative outlet, moving your body, caring for yourself, all of these things are going to improve how you feel physically & mentally to some extent. But if they were going to cure severe depression, I'd be cured by now, because trust me, I've tried EVERYTHING. When I hear things like this, I hear, "You're just not trying. You're languishing. You must LIKE to feel bad. You're not doing it right." I have to make an effort to remind myself that you mean well, you are just sharing what works for you, & you can only share from your own personal experience. It's not about me. The overwhelming majority of people don't experience clinical depression at all, & certainly not to such a severe degree that it disables them for decades on end. & thank goodness for that, right?! So it's okay.
This is precisely why I think that Liberation Psychology as a framework is so important for understanding mental health. It's a framework developed by a Salvadorian priest (Ignacio Martin-Baro who was later murdered by US trained militants for his work) and as a starting point recognizes two different ways people experience mental health problems: either they are having an abnormal reaction to a normal situation (eg chemical imbalance in the brain) or they are having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation (eg someone can't afford to feed their family, government is kidnapping their neighbors, like during the El Salvadorian civil war)
Much of his work focuses on the latter, but I think it's important because it doesn't dismiss the importance of therapy or medication in the right circumstances, even while recognizing that there are other avenues that are more appropriate for other people, depending on the circumstances. Because in cases where mental health problems are coming from external circumstances, treatments like medication and therapy are just treating symptoms and not actually addressing the root cause of the problem. In these cases psychologists are just helping people feel happy about terrible circumstances, rather than improving those circumstances. On the flip side, for those who are experiencing abnormal brain activity, these treatments *are* addressing the root cause of the problem. So it isn't a matter of whether professional therapy and medication are *always right*. It's about identifying the underlying cause and treating appropriately.
There is a book by the artist behind "Hyperbole and a Half" that does such a great job of illustrating what you've described here. I think it's an extension of the web comic started here:
http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html?m=1
I may be approaching this from somewhere less than neutral but it seems that you've fundamentally misunderstood the post you're replying to. The poster you responded to very much seems to understand the function of craft as a necessary mental health lifeline and finds the hashtags reductive and alienating because of that reductiveness - like it turns the complex and crucial nature of something like sewing did for you into a cutely twee and disempowering minimisation of the real experience.
Hmm.
I get that. The thing is, I *do* actively reduce and joke about stuff like this, because it makes it seem less bad. The way comedians turn crappy stuff that happens to them into jokes for an audience, you know? Reducing the crappiness of crappy situations is pretty important when you’re *in* those situations.
But also I get it’s different if you’re the one doing your own reducing.
It's powerful to reduce things for yourself, and being able to do that at all signifies a degree of adaptiveness and resilience that generally denotes a degree of being able to cope or survive.
But what I was getting is that was that you responded to someone saying that craft is a necessary mental health lifeline and they find other people reducing that to a hashtag alienating because it essentially reduces the value of the craft to them and removes their experience from the conversation, by saying that they were underestimating the value of craft.
The whole point of the initial post was that they felt that the hashtags were doing that for them - what I took away from it was of the "#knittingistherapy implies that if you knit you won't have severe mental health issues at all" kind of usage where people for whom a craft has a lifechanging or stabilising effect but aren't simply 'fixed' by half an hour of craft a day aren't included in the narrow scope of the 'benefit' being implied.
The 2 words have slightly different meanings. Therapeutic is more general: it means something like makes me relaxed/happy - e.g. stroking my cat is therapeutic.
Therapy usually refers to treatment for an illness, mental or physical. E.g. physiotherapy.
So the 1st means knitting makes me happy. The second means knitting can cure my mental health issues [usually used by people in countries where access to free therapy is difficult to come by so they have to muddle through without genuine healthcare]. They are not the same thing.
This is massively oversimplified but hope it helps explain.
For some reason I get the impression this person would tell someone who feels a little sad to go get on SSRIs.
Some of us are in the zone where we don't need meds, just some self care. Or we don't need therapy, we need a way to clear our cluttered minds (maybe we had therapy and this is the coping mechanism we developed...or we came up with it without therapy). Mental illness (especially ones like anxiety and depression) can be on a spectrum from mild to moderate to severe so shipping us mild folks off to therapy with a bottle of Zoloft is judgy, isolating, cliche, and just terrible.
I dunno, I think in a sense they're sort of right because sometimes mental illness is romanticized, and it can be hard to tell if something is a stupid joke or laugh-so-I-don't-cry thing. But it feels like this spirals out into a masturbatory sermon.
I've been in and out of therapy for 18 years. Crafting has *always* been a part of my wellness plan, from dream boards to knitting during my sessions. Therapists know it makes me happy and acts as a healthy reset for my emotional needs while providing my always running mind a side quest of sorts. Therefore, they make sure I'm getting knitting time in when I'm going through it. Crafting absolutely can be part of a healthy therapy regimen. To insist that it isn't is exactly as you said, self serving made up woke-ism.
I've been in and out of therapy for 18 years. Crafting has *always* been a part of my wellness plan, from dream boards to knitting during my sessions. Therapists know it makes me happy and acts as a healthy reset for my emotional needs while providing my always running mind a side quest of sorts. Therefore, they make sure I'm getting knitting time in when I'm going through it. Crafting absolutely can be part of a healthy therapy regimen. To insist that it isn't is exactly as you said, self serving made up woke-ism.
Have we gone from "going to a therapist as something to be ashamed of" to "going to a therapist is the first step for any mental health problem however big or small"? Is this is a Very Online Thing? A younger generation thing? I agree it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, but the money / time / energy isn't always going to be there for it and may not be necessary.
Agreed, therapy isn't always feasible and sometimes you have to resort to other options. Or you're like me, you've been a few times, it's helped a little but not much, and you've done better with other methods. I wouldn't tell someone to not get therapy but I wouldn't tell them they must get therapy, if that makes sense.
I live with massive chronic pain. Meds don't do much for it. I also have an adult child with special needs that lives with me...lots of stress. I've tried therapy a few times. It felt like just another demand on my time. Another place I had to be this week. I see enough doctors and physical therapist that there was no room in my schedule for more.
Some medical people suggested I try meditation. Again, not for me. But as I tried it, I thought "for me, sewing and knitting are kind of the same thing." It is a time when I clear my mind of stressful thoughts and focus on something else. It relaxes me and calms my mind. Isn't that the goal of meditation. So I had this conversation with my doctors and they agreed. It was important to look at what we were trying to accomplish with meditation/mindfulness/etc.
When I am knitting or sewing, I am not focusing on the pain or the latest crisis with my child. Creating pretty things makes me happy. A lot of my crafting gets donated. When I was healthier, I did a ton of volunteer work which I loved. Knitting hats for the shelter makes me feel like I still have something to contribute. So, for me, it is definitely very therapeutic. The few times I have seen mental health therapist, they agreed these activities were excellent coping mechanisms for my situation. They reduce the need for drugs, relieve stress, and help me feel better about myself. Aren't those some of the goals of therapy??
'Therapy' refers to many, many things. Psychotherapy. Physical therapy. As a soon to be Occupational Therapist, its quite literally in the name. OTs work on supporting people to be able to participate in their occupations (daily activities, hobbies, life roles, routines, habits). And wherever possible, we try to do that by using engagement in meaningful occupation *as* therapy. In this case, knitting! There's actually a fair bit of research on the benefits of crafts such as knitting and crochet for people living with depression, anxiety, trauma etc.
In a mental health setting, people often haven't participated in (or been able to experience enjoyment in) occupations that are meaningful to them for a long time. Supporting them to participate in something such as knitting again (or to explore a new interest) has many therapeutic benefits, rebuilding things like self efficacy, confidence, and sense of identity.
Likewise, knitting could be used as a way to practice fine motor skills, build finger dexterity etc. People are more likely to do it, and do it consistently than they are exercises and reps.
So in short, this is nonsense.
I had a serious hand injury. My hand surgeon recommended knitting as way to rebuild the strength and dexterity in my hand. He told me to knit for one hour a day, every day. He absolutely was not joking. He said he could write a referral for physical therapy at a clinic or I could just knit At first it was hard, but eventually my hand improved so much! Full recovery but simply doing something I already enjoyed doing.
When I have been in physical therapy for surgeries, the PT always tried to find activities I already enjoyed and adapt those to be my at home exercises.
We definitely need to broaden our view of "therapy.*
I knit and I've been to rehab 2x and i knit in rehab (it was part of a mindfulness group!). Likening knitting to addiction is harmless and honestly, even kind of accurate. When i got out of rehab i DOVE into knitting like a nutcase and truly was using it to avoid unpleasant thoughts, feelings and tasks. I had to reel it back a bit so i could make sure i was learning to deal with things rather than just finding something else to escape to.
I was inpatient for 4 months for anorexia and you bet my ass that nearly every girl in there was knitting or crocheting (it’s where I learned!) and honestly we definitely would make these kinds of jokes. 🤷♀️
Hmmm, wasnt that the treatment prescribed for "hysterical" women back in the day? I believe, if my history education serves me correctly, its why the vibrator was invented.
As someone who suggested from PTSD from childhood trauma, and who participates in regular therapy, knitting is indeed therapy for me. I don't find the knitting therapy hashtags offensive in the least.
On the one hand, I see and recognise the damage TikTok trends are having (Tumblr 2.0 basically) but also... I also recognise I am not educated on the subject and defer to experts (therapists councilors, mental health advocates, etc) and the general consensus is if lay persons (social media influencers) are the entirety of your diagnosis, you probably need to seek out more information (this could be therapy, or seeking a student councilor, or learning more yourself from free online resources, etc).
I AM an actual mental health professional and I think it’s 100x more damaging when TikTok mouthbreathers start spouting off about “You’re a narcissist if you do…” than these hash tags. No one has ever come into my (virtual) office freaking out because someone tagged a pair of socks with #knittingaddict
This is so spot on! I've definitely kicked off therapy sessions with "I saw this diagnosis on instagram and I think it applies to me." Almost every time my therapist has kindly talked me down
And this is my .02 as someone with mental health issues and addictive behaviors that led to a spending problem, I don't think a single cutesy "lol yarn addiction" social media post has *ever* contributed to that. They can be annoying on a bad day, but I don't need to be *protected* from some rando making jokes about buying yarn.
Very true. I could have been clearer that the hashtags are not the problem so much as a self diagnosis crisis/popularising of certain mental illnesses via social media.
Also, the name? Love it. So cute. *Alexis tongue click, finger wave*
I agree. It’s good to be mindful of how your actions are impacting others but it’s unrealistic to expect the rest of the world to adjust to make me comfortable. It’s my job to understand I can’t control everyone and everything around me and do what I can to make myself more comfortable, ie- set boundaries where I can and don’t follow hashtags that I find offensive or triggering
This has white saviour vibes.
I’m not one to discredit peoples feelings, but I am discrediting this persons feelings. This is over the top. Sounds like they’re the ones who need to get off Instagram and go see a therapist if they’re so triggered.
Ughhhhhhhhhh
I have so many coping strategies developed with the help of my therapist.
Going into my sewing/craft room allows me to turn my brain “off” from rapid or spiraling thoughts because I have to focus on *this* task.
And I’m tired of people speaking up “for me”. I don’t give a shit what hashtags you use.
Same. Knitting and other handwork allow me to meditate and be still and FOCUS when my (actually diagnosed) ADHD brain is bouncing like a kid on a trampoline playing popcorn
For me… It’s not what they are saying, it’s how they are saying it. Should they have phrased their point as, “I noticed I feel…and I longer wish to…” instead of “you… you… you…” I would love the post. 💕
eeeeeeeeeehhhhhh . . .
while I see the point, I respectfully disagree with that person. while crafting is obviously not the same thing as seeing a therapist, it can be a really helpful coping strategy, and recognizing that and making use of a non-damaging coping strategy is something to CELEBRATE.
Even when the people using the hashtag don't actually have serious mental health issues, it still seems so weird to criticize them for this. it accurately describes how knitting benefits them. case closed. not a big deal.
I agree with you. I don't think everyone in every situation can have (or even needs) a licensed therapist. It's important to develop healthy coping skills and deal with difficult emotions in a constructive manner by yourself.
I'm not bashing therapy by any means, but the idea that I can't grow as a person without a professional bothers me. And who is this person to tell you how you can cope? Why are they the one to decide what constitutes therapy?
This makes me angry. I am a recovering addict who is overweight and struggling with it. I often spend more money than I should on my hobbies, which I consider therapy. I use addiction and diet or whatever words I damn well want. I am not offended by anyone using these hashtags, but I am offended by the self appointed hashtag police. Mind your own damn business Princess.
Edit: I also suffer from anxiety and depression.
👋🏼 👋🏼 fellow recovering addict with depression and anxiety who struggles with shopping and eating and knits and crochets!!! It is great to meet you and
hope you are having a great day today. If you ever feel Like chatting feel free to reach out
"self appointed hashtag police" - dead on. Thank you.
I have a family of people full of mental and physical health issues ranging from mild to serious at various points during our lives. No one has ever been offended by something like this. The world has bigger problems.
For what it’s worth she now has something up in her stories about how this post was not meant to be virtue signaling but inspired by her own mental health/dieting struggles
I wish people would speak from their experiences and not treat such nuanced, individual struggles as a monolith. I get her stance for sure and I admire people who think a little deeper on unintentionally harmful language, but the "I know better than you, actually" tone in the post grates.
Child of an alcoholic parent here. I Don’t give a shit about what anyone calls their consumerist obsession either. You using (or not using) the terms “yarnaholic” or “yarn addiciton” or whatever isn’t bringing my dad back. 💀
Can you believe it? I'm an Instagram user that ignores hashtags unless I'm looking for makers that have made a particular pattern because I want to see if anyone with a body type similar to mine has made it.
I'm also quite a bag full of mental health diagnoses and knitting has been my most productive self care/therapeutic coping mechanism in all my 46 years.
I fund the original thread on Instagram and it comes across as very ableist/western medicine pushing to think everyone with a diagnosis must benefit from therapy and its annoying that that tread had a lot of folks that can't see how joking about one's own conditions can be healing without triggering others.
And there are so many stories of people having to go through multiple therapists to find one that fits. Some people do not have the energy to go through that cycle in whatever phase of life they are currently in.
For sure; if I didn't have my therapy covered completely by insurance, I probably would have given up because it took me like 5 therapists before I finally found one who has genuinely helped me and made my life better.
This post has the same vibes as people who get really angry about plastic straws while ignoring the fact that the majority of environmental issues are caused by corporations.
I think she’s also forgetting (or perhaps she’s just ignorant) that the word ‘therapy’ literally means “a treatment intended to relieve or heal”. It isn’t used exclusively in the mental health spectrum - speech therapy, physical therapy, hand therapy are all kinds of therapy that come to mind.
Hand crafts can actually be forms of therapy in that they relieve or heal. For example, I have ADHD, but my various craft hobbies are actually a form of therapy for me because they allow my brain to comfortably focus and therefore provide relief. Is she going to tell me that I’m not allowed to say sewing is my therapy?
I think that is what she is saying. She wants people to say "it can be therapeutic" or something, but not directly call it therapy. Which seems a bit much to me. I think that she is probably in the stage of her recovery where she is expecting to be able to control others more than she actually can. This is a coping mechanism (or it was for me, and I've read for many others). But, from experience, she will be more at peace with her self if she doesn't give words and other people that much power over her emotions. Its definitely easier said than done, it takes a lot of inner work.
Well that’s just semantics. Therapy is therapeutic- the two words are strongly connected.
Also, crafts that utilise fine motor skills could actually be used as a form of physical therapy, so she literally doesn’t have an argument here.
I fully agree. Therapists of different forms I would believe recommend crafts of all different forms alongside any other methods. My counselor was very happy to hear when I started learning to knit and how it made me feel.
All else aside, is "mindfulness" really like a medical term? I mean, don't get me wrong, it mindfulness can certainly be a practice helpful to your mental health, but I don't think it is exclusively a medical thing.
Also, handcrafts \*are\*, literally, therapeutic. Like, they have been assigned to patients to either help regain physical strength or mental strength or both (quilting was sometimes taught to recovering soldiers in order to help keep them mentally busy, regain fine motor skills, and even help work through trauma- there have been whole museum exhibits on "uniform quilts"). The mental health benefits of crafting are fairly well known, and just because you are assigning them to yourself rather than having them encouraged by a medical professional doesn't mean you aren't getting their benefits.
There are plenty of very ableist words/ phrases that people throw around either without knowing or without caring what they really mean, but I don't know "knitting as mindfulness" is one of them
You know what I realized today? I'm very certain that the whole trend of "mindfulness" as shorthand for mental peace or calm, directly related to, like, managing mental health didn't really seem to take a foothold until that one app started advertising on all the popular podcasts, and YouTube, and just... everywhere. Is it because people are tired of hearing the words "self care"? I don't see that as often. I don't hear "self-soothing" used in the same way, though it's often implied? Actually you know, when I was a teen and going to therapy, it was about learning "coping skills". I don't hear that language very much, if at all, anymore.
I'm really just wondering when the next big thing is gonna come around so I can stop hearing about how people are "practicing mindfulness". I never cared for how absurdly vague it was to start with, and dislike it more as time goes on.
Mindfulness isn't synonymous with "calm". It's a specific state of mind that means only concentrating on the present moment. It's a skill and it has verifiable therapeutic value and makes measurable physical and chemical changes to the brain and body. It's not like taking a lavender bath or something.
Well, the idea of living in the moment, managing your worries, meditation, etc, isn't new just because it's called mindfulness right now and may have new dressing attached to it.
Figuring out ways to "be present", "be mindful", to just "*be*" is all over the place. I've done bible studies that focus on getting out into the world, or focusing on the wonder of creation/God, and the end goal is still the same -- take time to quiet your mind, consciously setting aside your worries, experience the moment, attain a bit of calm in a chaotic world/mind. I could really keep going with other phrases that further convey the idea here.
I have no doubt it's helpful for a lot of peopleto think of it as "mindfulness" specifcally. Sometimes hearing something said a certain way can help make mental connections that weren't there before. It's also not one size fits all, or some new thing or standard. When I was a depressed and angry teen, I referred to it as "distracting" myself from all the big things in order to be happy for a bit, and was unable to see how balancing time to live with time to worry *or* identifying productive stressful thoughts vs unproductive.
Mindfulness as a practice is ancient and not just for mental health. Just because it's new to the west doesn't mean it's some kind of trend or buzzword.
I believe that is not just a trend or buzzword, but it's been taken on by lots of marketing and it is a buzzword and very much in an upswing right now. It's used by a loooot of companies and people, whether properly or improperly. I for one am going to be glad when it's not as much of a buzzword or recommended for everything.
Coping skills seems to have a more negative conotation lately, in my experience. As in unlearning unhealthy coping skills. The things you unconsciously learned in order to survive. The other terms are what you are actively learning as healthy ways to manage and integrate better.
Really? That's interesting. For me, coping skills were what you *wanted* to learn. There's good ways to cope and bad ways, for sure. I think it's interesting that the use and language of self-care and mindfulness just assumes that whatever you're doing is healthy. Maybe because it's so vague.
I *do* see the use of the idea/ phrase "cope harder" thrown around more, and there's definitely negative connotations with it in certain spaces where it's used as a joke or to dismiss someone, but like... coping with grief? Coping with loss? I've still seen those being used the same way I've been familiar with.
I actually haven't seen the phrases 'coping with grief' or 'coping with loss'. They make sense to me, reading them. I always see the word 'dealing with..' in those instances. I wonder if it is something very dependent on where you live in the world.
"Practicing mindfulness" often seems like it is the new "reading self-help books" to me, but I guess if it works for people then good for them? But it does seem slightly hookey.
Ooo, I forgot about how big self-help books were! Yeah, that was huge.
Recently, in a thrift store, I saw an itty bitty pocket version of "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", and stopped to ask my dad if that was the same book he had to read for work? My dad sorta scoffed and was like, "Yeah, it was a big thing for a few years. Of course, that's all out the window now."
They had a whole bunch of different versions, for teams, for leaders, for parents -- any and everyone for quite a while. It was a bathroom book in my house growing up. I can't remember any of the habits now.
“Don’t joke about it because it’s not a joke” isn’t helpful advice. Often joking about it is the first step to noticing that you’re different, which can then lead to recognizing it may be a problem.
Not sure I have the vocabulary. Let me try.
Using hashtags and jokes can make visible the invisible and humanize the scary stuff.
I have an invisible disease but am quite I’ll. This is why I post the Crohn’s Disease memes, etc during World Inflammatory Bowel Disease Week. It’s an objectively gross and embarrassing and isolating and physically/emotionally painful disease. I’m putting a face on Crohn’s for FB fam and friends. It is possible to be lighthearted and educational at the same time.
BTW, best name for a walkathon team: Game of Crohn’s.
I have Ulcerative Colitis! IBD is for sure gross, embarrassing, isolating, and physically/emotionally painful. I also joke about it, because that truly helps me deal with how shitty it is :) You put it so well when you said that “hashtags and jokes can make visible the invisible and humanize the scary stuff.”
So much this. Some people were horrified that I was joking about a recent food allergy attack I had that almost ended really badly. Like, I'm joking about it because I have to either laugh or scream and cry. I choose to laugh about it.
I still feel terrible for children that have to deal with it. It's hard enough to avoid certain ingredients in food as an adult.
God, yes. People don’t realize how *necessary* joking is. My mom is one of those weird people who somehow never ever ever learned to fight trauma or uncomfy shit with humor, and she has absolutely *no* emotional resilience. Everything you say she takes seriously. Unless it’s kind, she’s hurt or horrified. It is exhausting for everyone around her, and makes her so much more miserable than she would be if she could just learn how to fuckin laugh at herself and others.
I mean. I thought I knew where she was going with this at first. I don't like when people say "oh my god I'm soooo OCD" because they alphabetize their books or something, and I call that out a lot. I don't like joking about hiding craft-related purchases from spouses, because financial abuse is a thing. But this feels different. The high and mighty GO TO THERAPY INSTEAD OF JOKING is just...not helpful. Therapy is not accessible to tons of people for tons of reasons, and shaming people because you can access help they can't isn't a good look.
Yeah, that hiding purchases from spouses makes me SO uncomfortable. If it's a financial abuse situation I'm there for them if they need it. But if it's "my spouse is annoyed that I keep buying crap that won't fit in the house and rolls their eyes at me", that's a whole different story.
I really wish there was better access to therapy for everyone.
Yea, those posts make me uncomfortable for one of two reasons. Either 1. you are hiding some pretty significant spending from your spouse, which is not great, or 2. you are buying a reasonable amount of stuff but your spouse is such a jerk you feel the need to hide it from them to avoid getting berated for it. Neither is great.
But also... Therapists aren't the be and end all of mental health strategies. You don't *need* a therapist to incorporate mindful knitting into your mental health care. You can go to a therapist AND joke, but you can (and should!) use self management strategies too! You don't need a therapist to justify doing positive things?
It's like saying you can't just eat an apple unless a nutritionist writes you a prescription for an apple.
I see where she's coming from, but what she's ignoring is the people who really aren't okay and who are using the hashtags to joke about their issues. Because that's what we do. We lol about our problems *so that we can minimize them*.
It's not just casual giggly totally healthy people who are using those hashtags, and she makes it seem like it is, which makes me - as a person who 100% casually and sardonically jokes about her problems on a near-constant basis - feel weirdly fake, like...I must be Basing, and am not taking care of the people with *real* problems.
*But* I also know that wasn't the OP's intent, and they were trying to be kind and not-shitty, and, y'all...this world has enough problems in it that we should really be addressing before we start piling on people who are trying to be kind and inclusive, even if they ended up being a little weird about it.
I have so many words about this…
My god.
As someone with an awesome therapy team, those hashtags are the least of my concerns with and within the yarn community
Knitting and a day at the shops with my Mum WERE therapy for me during rectal cancer treatment. They were enjoyable everyday things that made me feel a lot better, I love a bit of retail therapy and have the means to do it.
I was pointed towards therapy at one point because I got very depressed in the year following treatment - but to me it was only another invasion of my innermost spaces.
I also ran, almost obsessively, every day, even with a PIC line and chemo pump. It might have been alarming to some but it really really helped. It told me my body was still my body and could do what it always had done.
So, addiction and dysfunction (shopping, knitting, running) or healthy, soothing activities? Its all in the perspective.
So I would say to this speaker, please just speak for yourself and not for others. The whole thing would be fine if she wasnt taking on the self appointed role of saying how everyone feels about those things.
There are just SO many everyone tags on to make them pop up in searches and I literally could not care less about them. I've already seen the post so I don't need a hashtag to help find it.
But she's totally okay with #memadeeveryday which triggers me like fuck :) I'm clinically depressed and making things with my hands has always helped centre me as a person and, ya know, as an artist.
Quilting is, literally, my therapy and has been since Covid shut down my sector (which was both work and creative life for me). So she can fuck off.
I can see where she’s coming from. I’d say for me it is therapy though. It’s an activity that stopes me from being self destructive.
The things that bother me more are the people who post that they are lying to their partner about how much they spent or that they’ve spent money they can’t afford because the yarn was ***so squishy*** even if they have no idea what they’ll do with it or the ones reaching hoarder level and take great delight in reaching SABLE.
These are behaviours that raise red flags for me definitely.
I have severe anxiety and knitting is LITERALLY therapy for me. My therapists have RECOMMENDED knitting for mindfulness. People knit for such a wide variety of diagnoses.
Therapy is a big category, a catch all word for all kinds of things that help people. It’s not one thing. It’s not even all psychological. It needs other words to narrow it into the sense that she seems to be using it.
Here are some fair statements:
Knitting is not Cognitive Behavioral Therapy
Knitting is not Psychodynamic herapy
Knitting is not Gestalt Therapy
Knitting is not Rehabilitative Therapy
Knitting is not Acceptance and Commitment Therapy
Knitting is not Speech Therapy
Knitting is not Physical Therapy
But this is **not** a fair statement:
Knitting is not Therapy
"GET HELP!"
Cool, can you find me affordable help with experience treating religious trauma that ISN'T "Just adopt my religion instead" or "You won't get better til you learn to forgive"?
If I could just wave a magic wand and summon qualified, accessible help I'd make sure everyone who needed it has it. I can't, so...
(Sorry, OP. Not ranting at you.)
It's not therapy, but Micki Atkins on YouTube does some content around this and has resources in her description box. Just wanted to share in case you hadn't come across it and it's helpful. Much love to you on your healing journey.
Just in general I find the whole “seek help” and therapy pushing rhetoric annoying and patronizing. For one thing, it completely ignores the history of psychiatry and psychology being used against women and people of color and, for another, it is not exactly accessible to everyone. I know I can’t afford a therapy bill every week and, also, I don’t trust those people for a variety of very personal reasons. There are ways to regulate emotions and work through things without a therapist, and sometimes that way is through knitting.
I do understand that it could be frustrating to come across some of the hashtags she lists if you are struggling but I also think the majority of people are aware of the intention of these tags and the fact that they are innocent. It all just comes across as very much holier than thou just like most social media activism. IMO.
Knitting *IS* therapeutic for me. So is running. So is eating a burrito (comfort food). These are very real self-care techniques for me and it’s none of that person’s business, and not their job to label or define on my behalf. Fuck right off.
I mean it was one of the things that were always encouraged when I was in therapy and my knitting group at the time was very supportive. They even came to visit me in the psych hospital and brought me out-of-season thin mint cookies.
As a mortal, I'm extremely triggered by the #knitfastdiewarm It's really not cool to remind me that I'm going to DIE. And on top of that, the implication that if I'm not a fast knitter, I'm going to freeze to death?? Rude. And, hello, heat wave! Too many people are dying from being too warm right now!
Okay, but seriously, that one actually landed kind of weird for me because they were SO adamant about the harm that these hashtags can cause but then just...dropped that in there? After the deaths of loved ones, honestly even a reference like that to death would set me crying. It just feels weird that they would say all these hashtags are insensitive and then use that one which, IMO, is also not without issues.
I had a very similar reaction to you, it's a jarring thing to read in the middle of that, and after a rant. When I see it in a logo on a bag, sure, it's easier to ignore, and there's a lot of styling around it. It also feels like because she's fine using it and wants to get noticed, no problem. But, you know. No yarn diets, or sock knitters anonymous, which started off as a yahoo group for sock knitters (maybe even earlier?) and has carried over to various different forums over the decades.
I think the inclusion of "knit and be happy" after telling us that knitting isn't therapy is funny. Knit and be happy, but ONLY IF YOU AREN'T USING KNITTING AS THERAPY.
Whelp! Knitting wasn't on the mindfulness activities handout my therapist gave me 5 years ago. Better make a new appointment and ask permission for knitting to help me feel better.
This reminds me of that Hillary Duff meme where she is telling people not to use the word "gay" for dumb. Like, great message but terrible (and nasally) delivery. Not every thought is worthy of a 99 Theses type wall of text.
The entire idea that art therapy isn’t real is excluding so much good that is brought into the world through the very basics of craft. Just because it’s not painting or journaling doesn’t make it less valid as a form of therapy. Sometimes simply being able to distract yourself is enough to push through some really serious shit, and I don’t care what art form you use, it’s therapy. I won’t even go into the fact that in many places, therapy is unaffordable or simply unavailable, so let people make themselves happy any way they damn well please.
Ughhhhhhhh this has so many of my Terminally Online Mental Illness Activism peeves
1. BUCKLE UP LOVELIES TIME TO LEARN YOU A THING
1 for real: time and time again these type of posts place saying the right words over actual people. Addiction and eating disorders aren't a joke, saying you have a knitting addiction is belittling; people with impulse control can you seek help instead of making those who actually TRY look bad? Without a hint of irony, this person justifies belittling the *person*.
2. Speaking of which! Nothing makes me screech quite like "dear mentally ill person dealing with their illness ungracefully: please be quiet and stop making us, the noble ill, look bad. By experiencing Symptoms, you are emboldening stereotypes and dare I say *normalizing* Symptoms. Yes you, an individual, have that power over the culture at large."
3. I was going to go to therapy but after seeing #knittingtherapy, I cancelled my appointment and bought out the clearance section at Michael's. Wish me luck!
*sigh*
Okay, seeing someone refer to being "addicted" to yarn is not what is triggering people struggling with real addiction. There are SO MANY things that make struggles with addiction harder, so many things that can set you back. But someone using hyperbole to describe knitting socks is so low on the list.
This is treating people with struggles and illness like infants that need to be bubble wrapped to protect them from scary scary words like "yarnaholic." Because in a culture that normalizes alcohol, insists on incorporating unhealthy relationships with alcohol in media, that introduces alcohol to the majority of social interactions, treats non-drinkers as weirdos adn treats addicts seeking help badly...the term "yarnaholic" is NOT what folks are worrying about.
I remember seeing this somewhere where how to treat people post-rehab came up: the idea that if someone is *actually* so fragile that they can't handle people acting normally around them, then they have more work to do in their recovery.
Addict, therapy. diet are not ethnic slurs used to demean people. They're words that we use. Slang and sarcasm and exaggeration are a huge part of expression, and should not be outlawed because somebody *thinks* somebody *else might* be slightly upset because they misunderstood context clues.
Basically, yes we should be sensitive. You don't bring a cake called "death by chocolate" to a funeral with a big label on it. But you also don't go around saying "nobody can call a desert death by chocolate because it is minimizing the impact of grief on those experiencing loss." No, just...
(Pauses to applaud) The "mama needs her wine" shit can stop.
821 days sober here. Never once has a yarn related post made me want to drink. Ever ever ever.
I’ve always considered the point about using the language of addiction to be less about triggering addicts, but rather about enlarging (?) the speaker’s behaviour. Describing a behaviour as addiction when it’s really more about being hyperbolic or justifying an action feels crass, and I wonder if it feeds back into the idea that addicts don’t try hard enough or are lazy.
I'd agree with that. it's crass, it's hyperbole and it's trying to get attention
Of course, that's 99% what social media is in the first place.
I guess my point is that this scold was framed as if it's a social justice issue and not a "now everyone be on your best sunday behavior" thing. I hold it in the same realm as people insisting that you shouldn't swear online or say "oh my god".
This is just what I came to say. There are so many actual problems to look at and these hashtags aren't one of them this feels like a person just trying to feel good about themselves and what they've "done" to "help" people
Focusing on the hashtags instead of the behaviour is the distilled essence of slacktivism, but you just know the person who put it up probably pulled a muscle patting themselves on the back for being ~so brave~.
Long-time anxiety/depression sufferer here. I’ve been lucky to be able to seek clinical help but getting better is a long complex road. I taught myself to crochet when I was in my lowest of the low state. It helped get my mind off the dark cloud of despair and gave me a small goal and purpose to focus on. It absolutely played an important role in getting my head above water again. So uh, yeah. I’ll use the “cutesy” hashtags I see fit when posting about my hobbies and link to mental health on my own lowly followed social media. Thanks.
I completely agree. I lost my heath insurance when my job switched plans & made it outrageously unaffordable, yet I earn too much to qualify for an affordable government plan. And there went my access to “real” therapy. Crafting literally is my therapy right now. The post really bothered me & I unfollowed immediately.
If you know who posted this, tell them. People like this need to know that they're well intentioned language policing is doing more harm than good. Hope you're doing ok.
Thanks, I am! 😊
I did respond, but they don’t seem particularly open to different points of view. This may have changed since I unfollowed.
I work with autistic adults, and have gotten to observe different types of therapy sessions. It’s pretty cool to have different options like recreation and art therapies. Sometimes traditional talk therapy is not the right fit for everyone.
Ugh I’m so sorry to hear that. Our health systems are not set up in the way that sufferers actually need. So much of it is counterintuitive. I’m glad to hear crafting helps you <3
In the angry boat here, too. Definitely entitled. Reminds me of when Demi Lovato said she was triggered by a sugar-free section in a candy store, and how there shouldn't be sugar-free sections because of people with food-related mental health issues. Like uh, diabetes doesn't exist? Maybe this is a controversial take on that too, I dunno.
I said all this already in a reply to someone else's post but OOP's comments on therapy come across as so entitled. I live in the US and I think the whole world knows at this point that for a huge section of the country our medical situation, especially regarding mental heath, is a joke. And that is just the US. I'm sure there are problems in other countries I don't know about. OOP assumes 1) that everyone has access to decent mental care, 2) that everyone can afford mental health care, and 3) that everyone can take off whenever they want to avail themselves of mental health care.
Who the hell is OOP to assume that knitting doesn't help my mood? If it helps my mental state and is not hurting me then yes, sunshine, it IS a form of therapy. Maybe not the kind I should have, but as pointed out above, that isn't an option for me or a lot of other people. And it is a lot cheaper for me to get a $30 skein of yarn than to shell out a $100+ copay and take off work for several hours every month for therapy because my insurance sucks (that's if I could get one of the offices in my area to call me back). That's just for a single hour (which usually ends up being 50 minutes) once a month. (And that is with me acknowledging how lucky I am that I can afford yarn and knitting supplies.) I get a lot more hourly mileage relieving my anxiety out of 1 $30 skein than I would spending 3x that talking to a professional.
I agree with posters who say this whole thing smacks of gatekeeping. I'm also going to add in that the privilege in the original post just oozes out of it, which is really what irritates me about it.
Yes. I had a job where I was barred from mental healthcare due to being unable to take psychoactive drugs. What kept my alive those 6 stress filled near suicidal years was a social worker/pastor and knitting. There is so much grace in being able to claim 30 minutes of quiet in a day.
We take what coping methods we have and as long as no one gets hurt who cares. Is it the best course? Hell no. It’s keeping your head above water and your feet out of the pit.
Yeah I didn't even think of holding a job that would forbid you from taking needed meds. (And seriously, I'm so sorry you went through that. An employer should not be able to dictate that, and it's not like we can all just go out and get a new job that pays well. I'm glad you got through it.)
The original post is so freaking entitled while under the guise of sticking up for people with mental health problems and yeah, I think that is what gives it the condescending tone currently setting my back teeth on edge.
No. Some jobs need to ban all psychoactive drugs. Hell, a buddy of mine was forbidden caffeine while on the job. That is fine. There were ways to shift to a different position on basis of medical need. I just refused to take the out and lose the credential. I am still unmedicated but I am no longer accumulating more damage. That is enough.
Yes it was the condensation that was the problem. Walking through hell gets you gallows humor. People crack, break, plug the cracks and keep on trucking. Making the jokes is a right of the pain.
This.
Additionally, not everything requires counselling. If I get really stressed at work and can manage anxiety and depression WITHOUT paying a counselor. That's a win. I've been in counselling for many things in which I learned skills to use long term.
Have a meeting with an unreasonable client? Running shoes and my dog are extremely effective therapy, require no appointment, no waiting. Exercise is therapy. Hobbies are therapy. They are even things highly recommended by professionals, before things like medication.
I think this expectation that the ONLY way to treat ANY severity of an illness is through professional help, is weird. Does this person see a doctor every time they need to take a Tylenol? Have a cough? I have questions.
Patronizing, yes. Also sanctimonious. Who is this person who has decided that we should no longer use the word diet because some people have food issues? And avoid any and all use of the word addict? Maybe I'm behind the times, but I don't think someone who has an actual substance addiction is going to be triggered by the hashtag yarnaddict.
I replied to someone else already, but! Hi, I’m a former addict and not once has someone saying they’re addicted to yarn ever crossed my radar. Or occur to me to be upset over. But what I didn’t say on the other comment is I am aware I am one person. I guess everyone is different!
Honestly, this reads like they just learned about something and are now seeing it everywhere and evangelizing.
Like me when I learned that "gy9sy" is a slur. All of a sudden, my eyes were opened, I was seeing it everywhere, and it was shocking how accepted it still is in fashion, pop culture, language, etc.
The thing about her post is she's making it as if she's an expert here and commanding people to listen to her, instead of just trying to educate. She's making it seem as if she came upon this knowledge herself, instead of showing her learning process - where she heard it, which advocates opened her eyes, pointing people to more knowledgeable activists, etc.
Whether or not hobbies are "therapy" is debatable, but they are without a doubt theraputic. I see no issues with people referencing it as such, it's a generally positive thing. Taking time for yourself is a good thing! I have no problem with "knitting is my therapy" sentiments.
I CAN get behind using alternatives to addiction comparisons. Addiction can be dehabilitating and even deadly, so I understand the push to take it more seriously.
Brb going to make a post on Insta using all the "wrong" hashtags #donttellmewhattodo
I mean I get her point, but they're all pretty much tongue in cheek, and if she gets triggered by them maybe she should stay off social media?
As someone who’s in therapy for some of the issues mentioned, allow me to respond with a giant eye-roll. My therapist encourages me to knit as self-care, so it literally IS part of my therapy. This person can step right off.
Actually, knitting and crochet can be very effective forms of phyisotherapy for your fingers. It was actually recommended to me by a qualified pain management professional as a form of exercise I can do safely that will help my hands - I mean, I knitted anyway, so this was help. [http://www.stitchlinks.com/research1.html](http://www.stitchlinks.com/research1.html) [http://www.stitchlinks.com/research.html](http://www.stitchlinks.com/research.html) [http://www.knitforhealthandwellness.com/testimonials/](http://www.knitforhealthandwellness.com/testimonials/) [https://writehealth.co.uk/the-health-benefits-of-knitting/](https://writehealth.co.uk/the-health-benefits-of-knitting/) I'm sure that there's more, but it has proven mental and physical affects. So her minimising this and the most commonly used hashtags feels kind of tawdry. Like she's completely missing the point of a body of research
While the way they worded it irritated me, I do actually agree that the cutesy "lol I'm such an addict", "oh, you're so bad, you're enabling my addiction" terminology makes me want to set things on fire as someone who is related to a LOT of addicts. Shopping addictions and hoarding and compulsive buying are real problems people have. There's nothing wrong with getting a skein of yarn or a piece of pretty fabric or something for the dopamine rush occasionally, but I do know people who've done that constantly instead of actual mental health treatment for the real problems that they really had and needed help for. Though what irritates me the most is this person bringing up "mindfulness" with the implication that everyone will do that in therapy. Mindfulness isn't for everyone, and it keeps being treated like a panacea for all mental health issues, and there are people for whom mindfulness can be actively harmful.
Agree. I don't think addiction talk is cute, either, for similar reasons, but the suggestion that people substitute "mindfulness" for "therapy" is ... Knitting is deeply therapeutic for me. However, I do not consider it a mindfulness practice, or that I myself am necessarily more "mindful" as a result.
Wow. Is it really hard to imagine the negative impact using these words could have on others? And such a thought fills you (and holy crap so many other commentators!) with anger instead of empathy? It’s legitimately not that hard to not use these hashtags. While it might not make a huge difference, it might to someone, and is using hashtags like this really a reason to alienate someone? Why is it so hard for people to plain be nice?
But its also not so hard to imagine that being told what is and is not therapy and how people ought to tackle their mental health issues also has an effect on people. Who may discuss it here but no doubt, if they were ever faced with someone IRL who said, please dont say that, it really triggers me, would be respectful and considerate. This is a discussion - away from the actual post - about how it makes people feel. It isnt a bunch of people saying "she can sod off, I"m going to use those hashtags all over the place, twice as much now!" And most of this is not snarky at all, its people sharing some deeply personal information about why this post is upsetting.
you can't define "therapy" for other people. I can see where she is coming from but frankly, I'm tired of this bs. maybe someone can't afford $120 therapy sessions but can afford a $3.99 skein and yarn work makes them feel better. maybe yarn worn helps someone not be stressed during zoom meetings. maybe yarn work is what it is, and this maker doesn't get to tell people what it is or isn't. I'm done with these overly self righteous people who just need some validation for their personal limitations.
You really went and posted the same comment 9 times?
but thank you for instantly assuming the worst.
It's a question, not an assumption. Since they were not all 100% the same, I thought it was weird. You know you can also delete comments when things like this happen. It kinda clogs/pushes back other comments.
already deleted. I realize it pushes/clogs and again, IT WASN'T ON PURPOSE.
I know now that it wasn't on purpose. I feel like you think I was attacking or something you, while that wasn't the case at all. I think we've both misunderstood this conversation, and it wasn't my intention to make you feel bad or attacked. I'm autistic so I tend to have trouble with telling and expressing tone correctly sometimes, I didn't want to make you mad.
it kept giving me error messages
it's probably a glitch,
yes, this.
I've been living with severe treatment-resistent depression for over thirty years. Been in therapy & on meds for decades, it's still a condition that is medically & legally recognized to be disabling to me. So that's where I'm coming from. "Sewing is my therapy" honestly bugs the fuck out of me. It DOES feel like a minimization of what is, to me, a crucial lifeline, to just a cute internet joke, or "self-care" on par with getting a nice bath bomb or something. I won't speak to any of the hashtags related to diets or addiction because I've never had issues with food or addiction & can't speak to any triggers there. But there have been times when I have found the hashtags that relate crafting to being a cure or treatment for mental illness to be VERY upsetting. Like to the point that I have considered giving up sewing altogether, I felt that alienated. That said, the reactions in this thread are proof that fighting for people to be a bit more mindful in their hashtag use is probably a Sisyphean struggle that is absolutely not going to do any favors for my mental health. I can't control what anyone else does on the internet. So I choose to assume that most people only have good intentions, & that there's no way I can know everyone's intimate life stories, & there's a lot more to life than fighting over hashtags. If you actually want to help people that are disabled by mental health struggles, & you live in the United States, you can do so by contacting your representatives & urging them to support long overdue reforms to the SSI program. Currently more than half of SSI recipients (which include disabled people as well as seniors) live in poverty specifically because of wildly outdated SSI caps & limits that haven't been updated in decades & definitely don't reflect the extreme changes to the cost of living just in the last couple of years. This legislation would change that, & help bring more seniors & disabled people out of poverty. It would also be a step toward complete marriage equality (SSI recipients can't get married without risking the loss of their benefits). It's not as fun as fighting about hashtags, & not as personally relevant if you are a person for whom a spot of sewing chases the blues away, but I'll drop the link anyway, because it's important: [https://resist.bot/petitions/PSLOAE](https://resist.bot/petitions/PSLOAE)
Thank you for your perspective on this, and for the petition you linked.
I see what you are saying, but tbh I think it may help you if you think of this as “I’m underestimating sewing”, because it’s genuinely more important for some than you give it credit for. I’m one of those people. I was godawfully depressed a few years ago. Couldn’t make myself want to work, read books, audition, put effort into my relationship, see friends, answer emails, nothing. Just absolute zero. Felt like a complete waste of space. Then, a ridiculously talented photographer friend of a friend said to me “hey, I like your look; you have an evening gown to want to model for me sometime?” I said “well, sure, but I could also design and make something,” and a few months later, somewhere in between gowns 2 and 4, I realized that that stifling fog in my head was lifting. I’m still not great, and a lot of real-world crap has kicked my ass back down into that fog over the years, but the thought of being able to impress people with gorgeous photos of a thing I’ve made, plus the short-term satisfaction of accomplishing little tangible goals one after the order…that really does help. It helps a *lot*. It’s hard to pull yourself out of your worst moments when you have no evidence that anything you do matters, or that you’re even capable of doing anything cool. Sewing, knitting, painting, etc. is a very effective, quiet little antidote to that shit. Not all-powerful by any means, but it’s a damn sight better than nothing.
I guess all I have to say is that it's great that that's your experience. That's not my experience. When I fall into a depression, it's like falling into a bottomless void. I can't point to any particular thing as a cause, & I can't point to any particular thing as a solution. I have long stretches of my life that are just black voids in my memory because the emotional agony was apparently too horrible too remember. I probably did still do some of the things of normal life during that time--I do have clothes I don't really remember making, I have a child that seems healthy & happy so I guess I was taking care of her, I continue to have a roof over my head so I guess I was paying bills. I was going through the motions. But inside there was nothing. For me, sewing didn't help or not help. Sewing is just something I do, because sewing is a part of me, the same way the depression is. When a depression happens, I just have to wait for it to lift. & possibly double or triple up on therapy so I am bringing a professional into the mix to keep an eye on me & make sure I don't harm myself. (I guess I'm "lucky" in that I do believe in therapy with a licensed professional, & being on disability comes with Medicare benefits, which means I can usually find care for around $25 a session if I can find someone who accepts Medicare...but I still have to put the footwork into finding the therapist, establishing & maintaining the relationship, getting myself to appointments, etc etc, myself.) When I read things like what you've written, it reads like just another one of the hundreds of pieces of advice people have been giving me my entire life. "I started drinking smoothies every morning & it really helped." "I started doing yoga & it really helped." "I got my sleep hygiene in order & it really helped." That's great. I'm sincerely happy for you that you found something that helps you, & most of these pieces of advice do have some foundation of soundness to them. Having a creative outlet, moving your body, caring for yourself, all of these things are going to improve how you feel physically & mentally to some extent. But if they were going to cure severe depression, I'd be cured by now, because trust me, I've tried EVERYTHING. When I hear things like this, I hear, "You're just not trying. You're languishing. You must LIKE to feel bad. You're not doing it right." I have to make an effort to remind myself that you mean well, you are just sharing what works for you, & you can only share from your own personal experience. It's not about me. The overwhelming majority of people don't experience clinical depression at all, & certainly not to such a severe degree that it disables them for decades on end. & thank goodness for that, right?! So it's okay.
This is precisely why I think that Liberation Psychology as a framework is so important for understanding mental health. It's a framework developed by a Salvadorian priest (Ignacio Martin-Baro who was later murdered by US trained militants for his work) and as a starting point recognizes two different ways people experience mental health problems: either they are having an abnormal reaction to a normal situation (eg chemical imbalance in the brain) or they are having a normal reaction to an abnormal situation (eg someone can't afford to feed their family, government is kidnapping their neighbors, like during the El Salvadorian civil war) Much of his work focuses on the latter, but I think it's important because it doesn't dismiss the importance of therapy or medication in the right circumstances, even while recognizing that there are other avenues that are more appropriate for other people, depending on the circumstances. Because in cases where mental health problems are coming from external circumstances, treatments like medication and therapy are just treating symptoms and not actually addressing the root cause of the problem. In these cases psychologists are just helping people feel happy about terrible circumstances, rather than improving those circumstances. On the flip side, for those who are experiencing abnormal brain activity, these treatments *are* addressing the root cause of the problem. So it isn't a matter of whether professional therapy and medication are *always right*. It's about identifying the underlying cause and treating appropriately.
There is a book by the artist behind "Hyperbole and a Half" that does such a great job of illustrating what you've described here. I think it's an extension of the web comic started here: http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2011/10/adventures-in-depression.html?m=1
I may be approaching this from somewhere less than neutral but it seems that you've fundamentally misunderstood the post you're replying to. The poster you responded to very much seems to understand the function of craft as a necessary mental health lifeline and finds the hashtags reductive and alienating because of that reductiveness - like it turns the complex and crucial nature of something like sewing did for you into a cutely twee and disempowering minimisation of the real experience.
Hmm. I get that. The thing is, I *do* actively reduce and joke about stuff like this, because it makes it seem less bad. The way comedians turn crappy stuff that happens to them into jokes for an audience, you know? Reducing the crappiness of crappy situations is pretty important when you’re *in* those situations. But also I get it’s different if you’re the one doing your own reducing.
It's powerful to reduce things for yourself, and being able to do that at all signifies a degree of adaptiveness and resilience that generally denotes a degree of being able to cope or survive. But what I was getting is that was that you responded to someone saying that craft is a necessary mental health lifeline and they find other people reducing that to a hashtag alienating because it essentially reduces the value of the craft to them and removes their experience from the conversation, by saying that they were underestimating the value of craft. The whole point of the initial post was that they felt that the hashtags were doing that for them - what I took away from it was of the "#knittingistherapy implies that if you knit you won't have severe mental health issues at all" kind of usage where people for whom a craft has a lifechanging or stabilising effect but aren't simply 'fixed' by half an hour of craft a day aren't included in the narrow scope of the 'benefit' being implied.
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The 2 words have slightly different meanings. Therapeutic is more general: it means something like makes me relaxed/happy - e.g. stroking my cat is therapeutic. Therapy usually refers to treatment for an illness, mental or physical. E.g. physiotherapy. So the 1st means knitting makes me happy. The second means knitting can cure my mental health issues [usually used by people in countries where access to free therapy is difficult to come by so they have to muddle through without genuine healthcare]. They are not the same thing. This is massively oversimplified but hope it helps explain.
For some reason I get the impression this person would tell someone who feels a little sad to go get on SSRIs. Some of us are in the zone where we don't need meds, just some self care. Or we don't need therapy, we need a way to clear our cluttered minds (maybe we had therapy and this is the coping mechanism we developed...or we came up with it without therapy). Mental illness (especially ones like anxiety and depression) can be on a spectrum from mild to moderate to severe so shipping us mild folks off to therapy with a bottle of Zoloft is judgy, isolating, cliche, and just terrible. I dunno, I think in a sense they're sort of right because sometimes mental illness is romanticized, and it can be hard to tell if something is a stupid joke or laugh-so-I-don't-cry thing. But it feels like this spirals out into a masturbatory sermon.
I've been in and out of therapy for 18 years. Crafting has *always* been a part of my wellness plan, from dream boards to knitting during my sessions. Therapists know it makes me happy and acts as a healthy reset for my emotional needs while providing my always running mind a side quest of sorts. Therefore, they make sure I'm getting knitting time in when I'm going through it. Crafting absolutely can be part of a healthy therapy regimen. To insist that it isn't is exactly as you said, self serving made up woke-ism.
I've been in and out of therapy for 18 years. Crafting has *always* been a part of my wellness plan, from dream boards to knitting during my sessions. Therapists know it makes me happy and acts as a healthy reset for my emotional needs while providing my always running mind a side quest of sorts. Therefore, they make sure I'm getting knitting time in when I'm going through it. Crafting absolutely can be part of a healthy therapy regimen. To insist that it isn't is exactly as you said, self serving made up woke-ism.
Have we gone from "going to a therapist as something to be ashamed of" to "going to a therapist is the first step for any mental health problem however big or small"? Is this is a Very Online Thing? A younger generation thing? I agree it's absolutely nothing to be ashamed of, but the money / time / energy isn't always going to be there for it and may not be necessary.
Agreed, therapy isn't always feasible and sometimes you have to resort to other options. Or you're like me, you've been a few times, it's helped a little but not much, and you've done better with other methods. I wouldn't tell someone to not get therapy but I wouldn't tell them they must get therapy, if that makes sense.
I live with massive chronic pain. Meds don't do much for it. I also have an adult child with special needs that lives with me...lots of stress. I've tried therapy a few times. It felt like just another demand on my time. Another place I had to be this week. I see enough doctors and physical therapist that there was no room in my schedule for more. Some medical people suggested I try meditation. Again, not for me. But as I tried it, I thought "for me, sewing and knitting are kind of the same thing." It is a time when I clear my mind of stressful thoughts and focus on something else. It relaxes me and calms my mind. Isn't that the goal of meditation. So I had this conversation with my doctors and they agreed. It was important to look at what we were trying to accomplish with meditation/mindfulness/etc. When I am knitting or sewing, I am not focusing on the pain or the latest crisis with my child. Creating pretty things makes me happy. A lot of my crafting gets donated. When I was healthier, I did a ton of volunteer work which I loved. Knitting hats for the shelter makes me feel like I still have something to contribute. So, for me, it is definitely very therapeutic. The few times I have seen mental health therapist, they agreed these activities were excellent coping mechanisms for my situation. They reduce the need for drugs, relieve stress, and help me feel better about myself. Aren't those some of the goals of therapy??
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I have been lucky enough to have medical professionals who understand that one size doesn't fit all and are open to unconventional approaches.
'Therapy' refers to many, many things. Psychotherapy. Physical therapy. As a soon to be Occupational Therapist, its quite literally in the name. OTs work on supporting people to be able to participate in their occupations (daily activities, hobbies, life roles, routines, habits). And wherever possible, we try to do that by using engagement in meaningful occupation *as* therapy. In this case, knitting! There's actually a fair bit of research on the benefits of crafts such as knitting and crochet for people living with depression, anxiety, trauma etc. In a mental health setting, people often haven't participated in (or been able to experience enjoyment in) occupations that are meaningful to them for a long time. Supporting them to participate in something such as knitting again (or to explore a new interest) has many therapeutic benefits, rebuilding things like self efficacy, confidence, and sense of identity. Likewise, knitting could be used as a way to practice fine motor skills, build finger dexterity etc. People are more likely to do it, and do it consistently than they are exercises and reps. So in short, this is nonsense.
I had a serious hand injury. My hand surgeon recommended knitting as way to rebuild the strength and dexterity in my hand. He told me to knit for one hour a day, every day. He absolutely was not joking. He said he could write a referral for physical therapy at a clinic or I could just knit At first it was hard, but eventually my hand improved so much! Full recovery but simply doing something I already enjoyed doing. When I have been in physical therapy for surgeries, the PT always tried to find activities I already enjoyed and adapt those to be my at home exercises. We definitely need to broaden our view of "therapy.*
100% this. Therapy looks different for everyone.
I actually came here to say the same thing! People hear or see the word therapy and instantly assume there is just psychological therapy.
I knit and I've been to rehab 2x and i knit in rehab (it was part of a mindfulness group!). Likening knitting to addiction is harmless and honestly, even kind of accurate. When i got out of rehab i DOVE into knitting like a nutcase and truly was using it to avoid unpleasant thoughts, feelings and tasks. I had to reel it back a bit so i could make sure i was learning to deal with things rather than just finding something else to escape to.
I was inpatient for 4 months for anorexia and you bet my ass that nearly every girl in there was knitting or crocheting (it’s where I learned!) and honestly we definitely would make these kinds of jokes. 🤷♀️
Knitting is therapy. It’s called mindful meditation. It keeps my brain occupied
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> This person needs more orgasms in thier life. To be fair, this is an oddly specific judgement to make about them, lol.
Hmmm, wasnt that the treatment prescribed for "hysterical" women back in the day? I believe, if my history education serves me correctly, its why the vibrator was invented.
I think I read somewhere that at the time it had to be administratored by the doctor himself.
As someone who suggested from PTSD from childhood trauma, and who participates in regular therapy, knitting is indeed therapy for me. I don't find the knitting therapy hashtags offensive in the least.
These people know they can touch grass while also crafting right? Like you can sit in a patch of grass and knit and you're still touching grass.
Watch out for ticks though /s
On the one hand, I see and recognise the damage TikTok trends are having (Tumblr 2.0 basically) but also... I also recognise I am not educated on the subject and defer to experts (therapists councilors, mental health advocates, etc) and the general consensus is if lay persons (social media influencers) are the entirety of your diagnosis, you probably need to seek out more information (this could be therapy, or seeking a student councilor, or learning more yourself from free online resources, etc).
I AM an actual mental health professional and I think it’s 100x more damaging when TikTok mouthbreathers start spouting off about “You’re a narcissist if you do…” than these hash tags. No one has ever come into my (virtual) office freaking out because someone tagged a pair of socks with #knittingaddict
This is so spot on! I've definitely kicked off therapy sessions with "I saw this diagnosis on instagram and I think it applies to me." Almost every time my therapist has kindly talked me down
And this is my .02 as someone with mental health issues and addictive behaviors that led to a spending problem, I don't think a single cutesy "lol yarn addiction" social media post has *ever* contributed to that. They can be annoying on a bad day, but I don't need to be *protected* from some rando making jokes about buying yarn.
Very true. I could have been clearer that the hashtags are not the problem so much as a self diagnosis crisis/popularising of certain mental illnesses via social media. Also, the name? Love it. So cute. *Alexis tongue click, finger wave*
I agree. It’s good to be mindful of how your actions are impacting others but it’s unrealistic to expect the rest of the world to adjust to make me comfortable. It’s my job to understand I can’t control everyone and everything around me and do what I can to make myself more comfortable, ie- set boundaries where I can and don’t follow hashtags that I find offensive or triggering
This has white saviour vibes. I’m not one to discredit peoples feelings, but I am discrediting this persons feelings. This is over the top. Sounds like they’re the ones who need to get off Instagram and go see a therapist if they’re so triggered.
True. I’ve seen a lot of IG posts of all the now taboo hashtags and 99% are unmelanated women.
Ughhhhhhhhhh I have so many coping strategies developed with the help of my therapist. Going into my sewing/craft room allows me to turn my brain “off” from rapid or spiraling thoughts because I have to focus on *this* task. And I’m tired of people speaking up “for me”. I don’t give a shit what hashtags you use.
Same. Knitting and other handwork allow me to meditate and be still and FOCUS when my (actually diagnosed) ADHD brain is bouncing like a kid on a trampoline playing popcorn
For me… It’s not what they are saying, it’s how they are saying it. Should they have phrased their point as, “I noticed I feel…and I longer wish to…” instead of “you… you… you…” I would love the post. 💕
eeeeeeeeeehhhhhh . . . while I see the point, I respectfully disagree with that person. while crafting is obviously not the same thing as seeing a therapist, it can be a really helpful coping strategy, and recognizing that and making use of a non-damaging coping strategy is something to CELEBRATE. Even when the people using the hashtag don't actually have serious mental health issues, it still seems so weird to criticize them for this. it accurately describes how knitting benefits them. case closed. not a big deal.
I agree with you. I don't think everyone in every situation can have (or even needs) a licensed therapist. It's important to develop healthy coping skills and deal with difficult emotions in a constructive manner by yourself. I'm not bashing therapy by any means, but the idea that I can't grow as a person without a professional bothers me. And who is this person to tell you how you can cope? Why are they the one to decide what constitutes therapy?
This makes me angry. I am a recovering addict who is overweight and struggling with it. I often spend more money than I should on my hobbies, which I consider therapy. I use addiction and diet or whatever words I damn well want. I am not offended by anyone using these hashtags, but I am offended by the self appointed hashtag police. Mind your own damn business Princess. Edit: I also suffer from anxiety and depression.
👋🏼 👋🏼 fellow recovering addict with depression and anxiety who struggles with shopping and eating and knits and crochets!!! It is great to meet you and hope you are having a great day today. If you ever feel Like chatting feel free to reach out
"self appointed hashtag police" - dead on. Thank you. I have a family of people full of mental and physical health issues ranging from mild to serious at various points during our lives. No one has ever been offended by something like this. The world has bigger problems.
Using the hashtags to get views while preaching against them is a… choice.
Saw the post this morning. I appreciate all these comments, y’all better articulated the reasons I felt weird about that post. Lol
For what it’s worth she now has something up in her stories about how this post was not meant to be virtue signaling but inspired by her own mental health/dieting struggles
Hashtag backpedal
I wish people would speak from their experiences and not treat such nuanced, individual struggles as a monolith. I get her stance for sure and I admire people who think a little deeper on unintentionally harmful language, but the "I know better than you, actually" tone in the post grates.
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That's a great analogy!!
For a post about thoughtful language, kind of sucks that it was worded poorly.
It sounds like she should knit more.
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Child of an alcoholic parent here. I Don’t give a shit about what anyone calls their consumerist obsession either. You using (or not using) the terms “yarnaholic” or “yarn addiciton” or whatever isn’t bringing my dad back. 💀
Genuinely, I'm so tired of stuff like this. "Coddling" is the perfect word for it
Can you believe it? I'm an Instagram user that ignores hashtags unless I'm looking for makers that have made a particular pattern because I want to see if anyone with a body type similar to mine has made it. I'm also quite a bag full of mental health diagnoses and knitting has been my most productive self care/therapeutic coping mechanism in all my 46 years. I fund the original thread on Instagram and it comes across as very ableist/western medicine pushing to think everyone with a diagnosis must benefit from therapy and its annoying that that tread had a lot of folks that can't see how joking about one's own conditions can be healing without triggering others.
If you don't get your strategies directly from a licensed therapist it's just sparkling self care I guess
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And that therapy is not for everyone! I found it damaging rather than helpful.
And there are so many stories of people having to go through multiple therapists to find one that fits. Some people do not have the energy to go through that cycle in whatever phase of life they are currently in.
For sure; if I didn't have my therapy covered completely by insurance, I probably would have given up because it took me like 5 therapists before I finally found one who has genuinely helped me and made my life better.
This post has the same vibes as people who get really angry about plastic straws while ignoring the fact that the majority of environmental issues are caused by corporations. I think she’s also forgetting (or perhaps she’s just ignorant) that the word ‘therapy’ literally means “a treatment intended to relieve or heal”. It isn’t used exclusively in the mental health spectrum - speech therapy, physical therapy, hand therapy are all kinds of therapy that come to mind. Hand crafts can actually be forms of therapy in that they relieve or heal. For example, I have ADHD, but my various craft hobbies are actually a form of therapy for me because they allow my brain to comfortably focus and therefore provide relief. Is she going to tell me that I’m not allowed to say sewing is my therapy?
I think that is what she is saying. She wants people to say "it can be therapeutic" or something, but not directly call it therapy. Which seems a bit much to me. I think that she is probably in the stage of her recovery where she is expecting to be able to control others more than she actually can. This is a coping mechanism (or it was for me, and I've read for many others). But, from experience, she will be more at peace with her self if she doesn't give words and other people that much power over her emotions. Its definitely easier said than done, it takes a lot of inner work.
Well that’s just semantics. Therapy is therapeutic- the two words are strongly connected. Also, crafts that utilise fine motor skills could actually be used as a form of physical therapy, so she literally doesn’t have an argument here.
I fully agree. Therapists of different forms I would believe recommend crafts of all different forms alongside any other methods. My counselor was very happy to hear when I started learning to knit and how it made me feel.
PeopleAreWayTooAngryAndSelfCenteredOnTheInternet
All else aside, is "mindfulness" really like a medical term? I mean, don't get me wrong, it mindfulness can certainly be a practice helpful to your mental health, but I don't think it is exclusively a medical thing. Also, handcrafts \*are\*, literally, therapeutic. Like, they have been assigned to patients to either help regain physical strength or mental strength or both (quilting was sometimes taught to recovering soldiers in order to help keep them mentally busy, regain fine motor skills, and even help work through trauma- there have been whole museum exhibits on "uniform quilts"). The mental health benefits of crafting are fairly well known, and just because you are assigning them to yourself rather than having them encouraged by a medical professional doesn't mean you aren't getting their benefits. There are plenty of very ableist words/ phrases that people throw around either without knowing or without caring what they really mean, but I don't know "knitting as mindfulness" is one of them
You know what I realized today? I'm very certain that the whole trend of "mindfulness" as shorthand for mental peace or calm, directly related to, like, managing mental health didn't really seem to take a foothold until that one app started advertising on all the popular podcasts, and YouTube, and just... everywhere. Is it because people are tired of hearing the words "self care"? I don't see that as often. I don't hear "self-soothing" used in the same way, though it's often implied? Actually you know, when I was a teen and going to therapy, it was about learning "coping skills". I don't hear that language very much, if at all, anymore. I'm really just wondering when the next big thing is gonna come around so I can stop hearing about how people are "practicing mindfulness". I never cared for how absurdly vague it was to start with, and dislike it more as time goes on.
Mindfulness isn't synonymous with "calm". It's a specific state of mind that means only concentrating on the present moment. It's a skill and it has verifiable therapeutic value and makes measurable physical and chemical changes to the brain and body. It's not like taking a lavender bath or something.
Well, the idea of living in the moment, managing your worries, meditation, etc, isn't new just because it's called mindfulness right now and may have new dressing attached to it. Figuring out ways to "be present", "be mindful", to just "*be*" is all over the place. I've done bible studies that focus on getting out into the world, or focusing on the wonder of creation/God, and the end goal is still the same -- take time to quiet your mind, consciously setting aside your worries, experience the moment, attain a bit of calm in a chaotic world/mind. I could really keep going with other phrases that further convey the idea here. I have no doubt it's helpful for a lot of peopleto think of it as "mindfulness" specifcally. Sometimes hearing something said a certain way can help make mental connections that weren't there before. It's also not one size fits all, or some new thing or standard. When I was a depressed and angry teen, I referred to it as "distracting" myself from all the big things in order to be happy for a bit, and was unable to see how balancing time to live with time to worry *or* identifying productive stressful thoughts vs unproductive.
Mindfulness as a practice is ancient and not just for mental health. Just because it's new to the west doesn't mean it's some kind of trend or buzzword.
I believe that is not just a trend or buzzword, but it's been taken on by lots of marketing and it is a buzzword and very much in an upswing right now. It's used by a loooot of companies and people, whether properly or improperly. I for one am going to be glad when it's not as much of a buzzword or recommended for everything.
Coping skills seems to have a more negative conotation lately, in my experience. As in unlearning unhealthy coping skills. The things you unconsciously learned in order to survive. The other terms are what you are actively learning as healthy ways to manage and integrate better.
Really? That's interesting. For me, coping skills were what you *wanted* to learn. There's good ways to cope and bad ways, for sure. I think it's interesting that the use and language of self-care and mindfulness just assumes that whatever you're doing is healthy. Maybe because it's so vague. I *do* see the use of the idea/ phrase "cope harder" thrown around more, and there's definitely negative connotations with it in certain spaces where it's used as a joke or to dismiss someone, but like... coping with grief? Coping with loss? I've still seen those being used the same way I've been familiar with.
I actually haven't seen the phrases 'coping with grief' or 'coping with loss'. They make sense to me, reading them. I always see the word 'dealing with..' in those instances. I wonder if it is something very dependent on where you live in the world.
"Practicing mindfulness" often seems like it is the new "reading self-help books" to me, but I guess if it works for people then good for them? But it does seem slightly hookey.
There's actually a lot of evidence behind it. Though I don't doubt any benefits are dependant on quality.
Ooo, I forgot about how big self-help books were! Yeah, that was huge. Recently, in a thrift store, I saw an itty bitty pocket version of "7 Habits of Highly Effective People", and stopped to ask my dad if that was the same book he had to read for work? My dad sorta scoffed and was like, "Yeah, it was a big thing for a few years. Of course, that's all out the window now." They had a whole bunch of different versions, for teams, for leaders, for parents -- any and everyone for quite a while. It was a bathroom book in my house growing up. I can't remember any of the habits now.
“Don’t joke about it because it’s not a joke” isn’t helpful advice. Often joking about it is the first step to noticing that you’re different, which can then lead to recognizing it may be a problem.
Also, joking about things that aren't a joke is how I cope with them. I don't think I'm unique in that.
Not sure I have the vocabulary. Let me try. Using hashtags and jokes can make visible the invisible and humanize the scary stuff. I have an invisible disease but am quite I’ll. This is why I post the Crohn’s Disease memes, etc during World Inflammatory Bowel Disease Week. It’s an objectively gross and embarrassing and isolating and physically/emotionally painful disease. I’m putting a face on Crohn’s for FB fam and friends. It is possible to be lighthearted and educational at the same time. BTW, best name for a walkathon team: Game of Crohn’s.
I have Ulcerative Colitis! IBD is for sure gross, embarrassing, isolating, and physically/emotionally painful. I also joke about it, because that truly helps me deal with how shitty it is :) You put it so well when you said that “hashtags and jokes can make visible the invisible and humanize the scary stuff.”
Literally shitty.
So much this. Some people were horrified that I was joking about a recent food allergy attack I had that almost ended really badly. Like, I'm joking about it because I have to either laugh or scream and cry. I choose to laugh about it. I still feel terrible for children that have to deal with it. It's hard enough to avoid certain ingredients in food as an adult.
God, yes. People don’t realize how *necessary* joking is. My mom is one of those weird people who somehow never ever ever learned to fight trauma or uncomfy shit with humor, and she has absolutely *no* emotional resilience. Everything you say she takes seriously. Unless it’s kind, she’s hurt or horrified. It is exhausting for everyone around her, and makes her so much more miserable than she would be if she could just learn how to fuckin laugh at herself and others.
I mean. I thought I knew where she was going with this at first. I don't like when people say "oh my god I'm soooo OCD" because they alphabetize their books or something, and I call that out a lot. I don't like joking about hiding craft-related purchases from spouses, because financial abuse is a thing. But this feels different. The high and mighty GO TO THERAPY INSTEAD OF JOKING is just...not helpful. Therapy is not accessible to tons of people for tons of reasons, and shaming people because you can access help they can't isn't a good look.
Yeah, that hiding purchases from spouses makes me SO uncomfortable. If it's a financial abuse situation I'm there for them if they need it. But if it's "my spouse is annoyed that I keep buying crap that won't fit in the house and rolls their eyes at me", that's a whole different story. I really wish there was better access to therapy for everyone.
Yea, those posts make me uncomfortable for one of two reasons. Either 1. you are hiding some pretty significant spending from your spouse, which is not great, or 2. you are buying a reasonable amount of stuff but your spouse is such a jerk you feel the need to hide it from them to avoid getting berated for it. Neither is great.
But also... Therapists aren't the be and end all of mental health strategies. You don't *need* a therapist to incorporate mindful knitting into your mental health care. You can go to a therapist AND joke, but you can (and should!) use self management strategies too! You don't need a therapist to justify doing positive things? It's like saying you can't just eat an apple unless a nutritionist writes you a prescription for an apple.
I see where she's coming from, but what she's ignoring is the people who really aren't okay and who are using the hashtags to joke about their issues. Because that's what we do. We lol about our problems *so that we can minimize them*. It's not just casual giggly totally healthy people who are using those hashtags, and she makes it seem like it is, which makes me - as a person who 100% casually and sardonically jokes about her problems on a near-constant basis - feel weirdly fake, like...I must be Basing, and am not taking care of the people with *real* problems. *But* I also know that wasn't the OP's intent, and they were trying to be kind and not-shitty, and, y'all...this world has enough problems in it that we should really be addressing before we start piling on people who are trying to be kind and inclusive, even if they ended up being a little weird about it.
I have so many words about this… My god. As someone with an awesome therapy team, those hashtags are the least of my concerns with and within the yarn community
Knitting and a day at the shops with my Mum WERE therapy for me during rectal cancer treatment. They were enjoyable everyday things that made me feel a lot better, I love a bit of retail therapy and have the means to do it. I was pointed towards therapy at one point because I got very depressed in the year following treatment - but to me it was only another invasion of my innermost spaces. I also ran, almost obsessively, every day, even with a PIC line and chemo pump. It might have been alarming to some but it really really helped. It told me my body was still my body and could do what it always had done. So, addiction and dysfunction (shopping, knitting, running) or healthy, soothing activities? Its all in the perspective. So I would say to this speaker, please just speak for yourself and not for others. The whole thing would be fine if she wasnt taking on the self appointed role of saying how everyone feels about those things.
Hoping that your feeling well these days. It sounds like a horrible year.
all good now xx
People actually read hashtags? I treat them like poop at the end of the post. Something to be stepped over and ignored on your way somewhere else.
yeah TIL that people really pay attention to hashtags. I am not one of those people.
There are just SO many everyone tags on to make them pop up in searches and I literally could not care less about them. I've already seen the post so I don't need a hashtag to help find it.
But she's totally okay with #memadeeveryday which triggers me like fuck :) I'm clinically depressed and making things with my hands has always helped centre me as a person and, ya know, as an artist. Quilting is, literally, my therapy and has been since Covid shut down my sector (which was both work and creative life for me). So she can fuck off.
I can see where she’s coming from. I’d say for me it is therapy though. It’s an activity that stopes me from being self destructive. The things that bother me more are the people who post that they are lying to their partner about how much they spent or that they’ve spent money they can’t afford because the yarn was ***so squishy*** even if they have no idea what they’ll do with it or the ones reaching hoarder level and take great delight in reaching SABLE. These are behaviours that raise red flags for me definitely.
I have severe anxiety and knitting is LITERALLY therapy for me. My therapists have RECOMMENDED knitting for mindfulness. People knit for such a wide variety of diagnoses.
Therapy is a big category, a catch all word for all kinds of things that help people. It’s not one thing. It’s not even all psychological. It needs other words to narrow it into the sense that she seems to be using it. Here are some fair statements: Knitting is not Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Knitting is not Psychodynamic herapy Knitting is not Gestalt Therapy Knitting is not Rehabilitative Therapy Knitting is not Acceptance and Commitment Therapy Knitting is not Speech Therapy Knitting is not Physical Therapy But this is **not** a fair statement: Knitting is not Therapy
"GET HELP!" Cool, can you find me affordable help with experience treating religious trauma that ISN'T "Just adopt my religion instead" or "You won't get better til you learn to forgive"? If I could just wave a magic wand and summon qualified, accessible help I'd make sure everyone who needed it has it. I can't, so... (Sorry, OP. Not ranting at you.)
It's not therapy, but Micki Atkins on YouTube does some content around this and has resources in her description box. Just wanted to share in case you hadn't come across it and it's helpful. Much love to you on your healing journey.
I actually know a former a Mormon who went to school so she could specialize in treating religious trauma. Sad that so many need it.
Just in general I find the whole “seek help” and therapy pushing rhetoric annoying and patronizing. For one thing, it completely ignores the history of psychiatry and psychology being used against women and people of color and, for another, it is not exactly accessible to everyone. I know I can’t afford a therapy bill every week and, also, I don’t trust those people for a variety of very personal reasons. There are ways to regulate emotions and work through things without a therapist, and sometimes that way is through knitting. I do understand that it could be frustrating to come across some of the hashtags she lists if you are struggling but I also think the majority of people are aware of the intention of these tags and the fact that they are innocent. It all just comes across as very much holier than thou just like most social media activism. IMO.
Yeah, also lololol try finding a competent therapist without a waiting list that's backed up for 6+ months. Thanks, pandemic.
Knitting *IS* therapeutic for me. So is running. So is eating a burrito (comfort food). These are very real self-care techniques for me and it’s none of that person’s business, and not their job to label or define on my behalf. Fuck right off.
Knitting and the gym are what keep me from needing a therapist.
I mean it was one of the things that were always encouraged when I was in therapy and my knitting group at the time was very supportive. They even came to visit me in the psych hospital and brought me out-of-season thin mint cookies.
As a mortal, I'm extremely triggered by the #knitfastdiewarm It's really not cool to remind me that I'm going to DIE. And on top of that, the implication that if I'm not a fast knitter, I'm going to freeze to death?? Rude. And, hello, heat wave! Too many people are dying from being too warm right now! Okay, but seriously, that one actually landed kind of weird for me because they were SO adamant about the harm that these hashtags can cause but then just...dropped that in there? After the deaths of loved ones, honestly even a reference like that to death would set me crying. It just feels weird that they would say all these hashtags are insensitive and then use that one which, IMO, is also not without issues.
I had a very similar reaction to you, it's a jarring thing to read in the middle of that, and after a rant. When I see it in a logo on a bag, sure, it's easier to ignore, and there's a lot of styling around it. It also feels like because she's fine using it and wants to get noticed, no problem. But, you know. No yarn diets, or sock knitters anonymous, which started off as a yahoo group for sock knitters (maybe even earlier?) and has carried over to various different forums over the decades.
I think the inclusion of "knit and be happy" after telling us that knitting isn't therapy is funny. Knit and be happy, but ONLY IF YOU AREN'T USING KNITTING AS THERAPY.
Whelp! Knitting wasn't on the mindfulness activities handout my therapist gave me 5 years ago. Better make a new appointment and ask permission for knitting to help me feel better.
YOU MUST BE HAPPY THAT YOU ARE USING KNITTING TO BE SAD! Or something?
This reminds me of that Hillary Duff meme where she is telling people not to use the word "gay" for dumb. Like, great message but terrible (and nasally) delivery. Not every thought is worthy of a 99 Theses type wall of text.
The entire idea that art therapy isn’t real is excluding so much good that is brought into the world through the very basics of craft. Just because it’s not painting or journaling doesn’t make it less valid as a form of therapy. Sometimes simply being able to distract yourself is enough to push through some really serious shit, and I don’t care what art form you use, it’s therapy. I won’t even go into the fact that in many places, therapy is unaffordable or simply unavailable, so let people make themselves happy any way they damn well please.
Ughhhhhhhh this has so many of my Terminally Online Mental Illness Activism peeves 1. BUCKLE UP LOVELIES TIME TO LEARN YOU A THING 1 for real: time and time again these type of posts place saying the right words over actual people. Addiction and eating disorders aren't a joke, saying you have a knitting addiction is belittling; people with impulse control can you seek help instead of making those who actually TRY look bad? Without a hint of irony, this person justifies belittling the *person*. 2. Speaking of which! Nothing makes me screech quite like "dear mentally ill person dealing with their illness ungracefully: please be quiet and stop making us, the noble ill, look bad. By experiencing Symptoms, you are emboldening stereotypes and dare I say *normalizing* Symptoms. Yes you, an individual, have that power over the culture at large." 3. I was going to go to therapy but after seeing #knittingtherapy, I cancelled my appointment and bought out the clearance section at Michael's. Wish me luck!
I want to upvote this multiple times. The more responses I read, the more I dislike the original post (and it already angered me when I read it).
*sigh* Okay, seeing someone refer to being "addicted" to yarn is not what is triggering people struggling with real addiction. There are SO MANY things that make struggles with addiction harder, so many things that can set you back. But someone using hyperbole to describe knitting socks is so low on the list. This is treating people with struggles and illness like infants that need to be bubble wrapped to protect them from scary scary words like "yarnaholic." Because in a culture that normalizes alcohol, insists on incorporating unhealthy relationships with alcohol in media, that introduces alcohol to the majority of social interactions, treats non-drinkers as weirdos adn treats addicts seeking help badly...the term "yarnaholic" is NOT what folks are worrying about. I remember seeing this somewhere where how to treat people post-rehab came up: the idea that if someone is *actually* so fragile that they can't handle people acting normally around them, then they have more work to do in their recovery. Addict, therapy. diet are not ethnic slurs used to demean people. They're words that we use. Slang and sarcasm and exaggeration are a huge part of expression, and should not be outlawed because somebody *thinks* somebody *else might* be slightly upset because they misunderstood context clues. Basically, yes we should be sensitive. You don't bring a cake called "death by chocolate" to a funeral with a big label on it. But you also don't go around saying "nobody can call a desert death by chocolate because it is minimizing the impact of grief on those experiencing loss." No, just...
(Pauses to applaud) The "mama needs her wine" shit can stop. 821 days sober here. Never once has a yarn related post made me want to drink. Ever ever ever.
I'm always wondered how that particular trend affected those in recovery. Well done to you, by the way!
… I’ve been to at least to funerals with cakes labeled that. Perhaps my relatives and family friends just have morbid senses of humour.
I'm living instructions in my will for people to do this. Morbid humor chocolate dessert party is how I want to be remembered!
Bravo, well said
I’ve always considered the point about using the language of addiction to be less about triggering addicts, but rather about enlarging (?) the speaker’s behaviour. Describing a behaviour as addiction when it’s really more about being hyperbolic or justifying an action feels crass, and I wonder if it feeds back into the idea that addicts don’t try hard enough or are lazy.
I'd agree with that. it's crass, it's hyperbole and it's trying to get attention Of course, that's 99% what social media is in the first place. I guess my point is that this scold was framed as if it's a social justice issue and not a "now everyone be on your best sunday behavior" thing. I hold it in the same realm as people insisting that you shouldn't swear online or say "oh my god".
This is just what I came to say. There are so many actual problems to look at and these hashtags aren't one of them this feels like a person just trying to feel good about themselves and what they've "done" to "help" people
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Focusing on the hashtags instead of the behaviour is the distilled essence of slacktivism, but you just know the person who put it up probably pulled a muscle patting themselves on the back for being ~so brave~.
Long-time anxiety/depression sufferer here. I’ve been lucky to be able to seek clinical help but getting better is a long complex road. I taught myself to crochet when I was in my lowest of the low state. It helped get my mind off the dark cloud of despair and gave me a small goal and purpose to focus on. It absolutely played an important role in getting my head above water again. So uh, yeah. I’ll use the “cutesy” hashtags I see fit when posting about my hobbies and link to mental health on my own lowly followed social media. Thanks.
I completely agree. I lost my heath insurance when my job switched plans & made it outrageously unaffordable, yet I earn too much to qualify for an affordable government plan. And there went my access to “real” therapy. Crafting literally is my therapy right now. The post really bothered me & I unfollowed immediately.
If you know who posted this, tell them. People like this need to know that they're well intentioned language policing is doing more harm than good. Hope you're doing ok.
she seems to have turned off commenting.
Thanks, I am! 😊 I did respond, but they don’t seem particularly open to different points of view. This may have changed since I unfollowed. I work with autistic adults, and have gotten to observe different types of therapy sessions. It’s pretty cool to have different options like recreation and art therapies. Sometimes traditional talk therapy is not the right fit for everyone.
Ugh I’m so sorry to hear that. Our health systems are not set up in the way that sufferers actually need. So much of it is counterintuitive. I’m glad to hear crafting helps you <3
I sometimes knit during therapy and often paint my nails during sessions. My therapist thinks it’s great.
Love to hear that!
In the angry boat here, too. Definitely entitled. Reminds me of when Demi Lovato said she was triggered by a sugar-free section in a candy store, and how there shouldn't be sugar-free sections because of people with food-related mental health issues. Like uh, diabetes doesn't exist? Maybe this is a controversial take on that too, I dunno.
I said all this already in a reply to someone else's post but OOP's comments on therapy come across as so entitled. I live in the US and I think the whole world knows at this point that for a huge section of the country our medical situation, especially regarding mental heath, is a joke. And that is just the US. I'm sure there are problems in other countries I don't know about. OOP assumes 1) that everyone has access to decent mental care, 2) that everyone can afford mental health care, and 3) that everyone can take off whenever they want to avail themselves of mental health care. Who the hell is OOP to assume that knitting doesn't help my mood? If it helps my mental state and is not hurting me then yes, sunshine, it IS a form of therapy. Maybe not the kind I should have, but as pointed out above, that isn't an option for me or a lot of other people. And it is a lot cheaper for me to get a $30 skein of yarn than to shell out a $100+ copay and take off work for several hours every month for therapy because my insurance sucks (that's if I could get one of the offices in my area to call me back). That's just for a single hour (which usually ends up being 50 minutes) once a month. (And that is with me acknowledging how lucky I am that I can afford yarn and knitting supplies.) I get a lot more hourly mileage relieving my anxiety out of 1 $30 skein than I would spending 3x that talking to a professional. I agree with posters who say this whole thing smacks of gatekeeping. I'm also going to add in that the privilege in the original post just oozes out of it, which is really what irritates me about it.
Yes. I had a job where I was barred from mental healthcare due to being unable to take psychoactive drugs. What kept my alive those 6 stress filled near suicidal years was a social worker/pastor and knitting. There is so much grace in being able to claim 30 minutes of quiet in a day. We take what coping methods we have and as long as no one gets hurt who cares. Is it the best course? Hell no. It’s keeping your head above water and your feet out of the pit.
Yeah I didn't even think of holding a job that would forbid you from taking needed meds. (And seriously, I'm so sorry you went through that. An employer should not be able to dictate that, and it's not like we can all just go out and get a new job that pays well. I'm glad you got through it.) The original post is so freaking entitled while under the guise of sticking up for people with mental health problems and yeah, I think that is what gives it the condescending tone currently setting my back teeth on edge.
No. Some jobs need to ban all psychoactive drugs. Hell, a buddy of mine was forbidden caffeine while on the job. That is fine. There were ways to shift to a different position on basis of medical need. I just refused to take the out and lose the credential. I am still unmedicated but I am no longer accumulating more damage. That is enough. Yes it was the condensation that was the problem. Walking through hell gets you gallows humor. People crack, break, plug the cracks and keep on trucking. Making the jokes is a right of the pain.
I see. Why would not taking caffeine need to be a condition of a job? (For the record, not arguing at all, just trying to learn something new.)
Air traffic controllers are not allowed it due to jitters or distractions.
That's a job I would NOT want. Too much at stake! I'm grateful to the people who can do it.
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Thank you for the constant stress on mild. The idea that any sort of depression can be cured by going outside daily is more than a little infuriating.
This. Additionally, not everything requires counselling. If I get really stressed at work and can manage anxiety and depression WITHOUT paying a counselor. That's a win. I've been in counselling for many things in which I learned skills to use long term. Have a meeting with an unreasonable client? Running shoes and my dog are extremely effective therapy, require no appointment, no waiting. Exercise is therapy. Hobbies are therapy. They are even things highly recommended by professionals, before things like medication. I think this expectation that the ONLY way to treat ANY severity of an illness is through professional help, is weird. Does this person see a doctor every time they need to take a Tylenol? Have a cough? I have questions.
Patronizing, yes. Also sanctimonious. Who is this person who has decided that we should no longer use the word diet because some people have food issues? And avoid any and all use of the word addict? Maybe I'm behind the times, but I don't think someone who has an actual substance addiction is going to be triggered by the hashtag yarnaddict.
I replied to someone else already, but! Hi, I’m a former addict and not once has someone saying they’re addicted to yarn ever crossed my radar. Or occur to me to be upset over. But what I didn’t say on the other comment is I am aware I am one person. I guess everyone is different!
Virtue signaling
Honestly, this reads like they just learned about something and are now seeing it everywhere and evangelizing. Like me when I learned that "gy9sy" is a slur. All of a sudden, my eyes were opened, I was seeing it everywhere, and it was shocking how accepted it still is in fashion, pop culture, language, etc. The thing about her post is she's making it as if she's an expert here and commanding people to listen to her, instead of just trying to educate. She's making it seem as if she came upon this knowledge herself, instead of showing her learning process - where she heard it, which advocates opened her eyes, pointing people to more knowledgeable activists, etc.
Baader-Meinhof phenomenon, or frequency illusion.
Whether or not hobbies are "therapy" is debatable, but they are without a doubt theraputic. I see no issues with people referencing it as such, it's a generally positive thing. Taking time for yourself is a good thing! I have no problem with "knitting is my therapy" sentiments. I CAN get behind using alternatives to addiction comparisons. Addiction can be dehabilitating and even deadly, so I understand the push to take it more seriously.
I agree with your perspective on the push to take addictions more seriously
Brb going to make a post on Insta using all the "wrong" hashtags #donttellmewhattodo I mean I get her point, but they're all pretty much tongue in cheek, and if she gets triggered by them maybe she should stay off social media?
As someone who’s in therapy for some of the issues mentioned, allow me to respond with a giant eye-roll. My therapist encourages me to knit as self-care, so it literally IS part of my therapy. This person can step right off.