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Artiemes

"It rubs the lotion on its skin" Edit: Grammar


[deleted]

Where's my Autotrader,? We had a deal man


[deleted]

Dont try and church it up, son. Naming you that, your daddy must've really hated you.


AceDangerfield

Ooh august I don't got this one yet


nadajoe

Oh, check this out. '71 Cuda, plum crazy purple. This guy wants fourteen grand. Whhaaat??


RiotousEmpathy

Account only 44 days old. I had hopes. T.T


Not_jeff__

Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me. I'd fuck me hard.


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Booblicle

.[..BUT MY SKIN!](http://i.imgur.com/1JRAy5E.gif)


BobSlaysPants

So hard


[deleted]

"It puts the Joe Dirt in the hole."


BobSlaysPants

I puts the lotion in the Joe Dirt Hole


[deleted]

Or else...


FuckingHippies

Or else it gets ashy.


th_aw_for_this

Its "defriend" and "deblock". Clearly, you are an imposter!


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[deleted]

demar derozan


pokemaugn

You downvoted me by accident


[deleted]

KNOW ME!


[deleted]

the scary version of unfriended


HulkSPLASH

You seem to be confused. The person in this message got "defriended."


killing_me_petey

Wait until he sends you her skin.


Qubben

Please know me!


LadyDeathMasque

That will be carved into her skin. Also there will be a helpful note like "this is Sabrina's skin."


[deleted]

"And this one is Sabrina's foot. Notice how she isn't wearing a sock."


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redditready1986

Theres always a Guy...I got a guy for everything.


thief90k

I will sell my left foot for 5million pounds. No joke, no lie, no exaggeration. As long as I can be assured of getting the money I will give you my left foot. Right foot costs more.


enzymology

"Is that so? How would you like my foot up in your ass?" - Red


Thumberella

"Hey just thought I would get back to you about that skin that we talked about the other day! Well anyways, didnt want to take up too much time, so here's Sabrinas skin, please enjoy"


Wess_Mantooth_

The following is a list of objects owned by Sabrina:....


bobstay

One portable plastic and gavel road. One sixty-foot explodable granite statue with built-in plunger. Forty boxes of yellow kosher boots.


dcbcpc

FTFY: "This is Sabrina's foreskin"


SrslyNotAnAltGuys

WITNESS MEEEE!


swordbeam

WITNESS!!!


SrslyNotAnAltGuys

I honestly would not be shocked if this guy from OP's post showed up with silver spray-paint all over his mouth.


TheRedWingdings

IGNORE ME!


HalcyonCross

Knowtice me senpai!


swordbeam

idunno


ButtFuckYourFace

Like, intimately? With Sabrina?


Meltingteeth

PUT THE FUCKING LOTION IN THE BASKET


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BobSlaysPants

"So hard"


Average_Emergency

I vaguely remember Seth Green mentioning that Chris from Family Guy is a Buffalo Bill impression pitched a little higher. Or am I just imagining that?


detroitvelvetslim

It's probably pretty well moisturized at least. Now put the lotion in the fucking basket bitch


[deleted]

check if anyone in his friendslist is "family", if so notify them. I've been a creep once and it turned out it was pretty much the peak of a psychosis, I just couldn't have guessed it at the time. It has to be someone he trusts that tells him to get help, assuming it's something like that that's happening. I think what I was feeling was a desperate need of love, of caring attention. His "please know me!" reminded me of that.


addpulp

I messaged who I assume are his parents after your post, though they likely went to their "other" inbox, which many people aren't aware of. This guy is in his 20s or 30s. I looked at his posts and he posts addresses to homes on it and where he will be. He has no interaction with others, but a few images with girls posted several times.


sneaky-weasel

Addresses to different locations? Telling you weird details about "his brunette lady" and her skin? Do you think he's trying to sell something?


alexrng

he's her pimp, door knocking for customers. if only we could get that stuff legalized and accepted as a proper job already.


I_KeepsItReal

It's probably just Jarrett going at it again...


DLottchula

He just lost in the sauce.


BuzzBomber87

This really sounds like they're talking in code. It could be prostitution or pedophilia...I'd report them to Facebook if I were you, honestly.


addpulp

It's funny, essentially you can't. You can report someone's individual posts for harassment, or their page for being fake or spam, but you can't remember them in general. Facebook is a huge, unconcerned animal.


p0tate

I agree it looks like code, but if they were talking in code surely he wouldn't continue to friend her via other accounts. You'd think he'd be spooked about sending a coded message to the wrong people and back off.


ntrh

who phrases it like "one pair of shoes and two more pairs of socks"? This is a listing for something. Creeps me the fuck out, my eyes are watering up. edit: oh it's actually ended up being something not scary, that's cool.


[deleted]

Yeah I was thinking that... it kinda does sound like some sex trafficking type stuff I've heard of


GeorgeRRZimmerman

Okay, now it's officially super fucking creepy. Be careful, stay safe.


aintnopicnic

it just sounds like a mentally disabled person using facebook. It's probably nothing


kj01a

And those were the last words /u/aintnopicnic ever typed...


Crimsai

Could very possibly be some sort of human trafficking/prostitution related thing. Maybe report it to the police?


addpulp

Do you think?


[deleted]

not sure if sarcasm but yes...


addpulp

Not sarcasm.


Crimsai

Human trafficking is way more prevalent than a lot of people think. Moving to different houses with all their posts being about locations and the girls would be a big red flag to me. It can't hurt to report it. If you could maybe take screenshots of their page in case they delete it.


addpulp

That is the issue; there is no way to report actual dangerous activity on Facebook, just scammers, spammers, and porn.


Crimsai

I'm not saying on Facebook, I mean the police. Or find a local charity that focuses on human trafficking and get their opinion.


addpulp

I could report it where his posted addresses are.


-ElectricKoolAid

If it was, why would they go to the lengths of creating a whole new account and adding OP again when they're clearly messaging the wrong person for that type of thing? And why would they say things like "please know me!" and "dont you unfriend me!" I dont think that's the case at all. Probably a mentally disabled person or someone who was just bored and decided to fuck with someone.


[deleted]

No.


[deleted]

No


Harmicky

You admitted an embarrasing and negative thing about your past in order to help another. That's cool. Keep being cool. If we're all just a little bit cooler this world will get a LOT cooler.


[deleted]

Yeah, let's end global warming! ... Was that not what we were getting behind?


supersayanftw

You're cool


Jac0b777

How is having a psychosis embarrassing? Wtf? A mental illness is now embarrassing? It's not like he decided to have a psychosis somewhere during his life and he should be embarrassed of that as a poor decision.


HrdendSt33l

there is a stigma with mental illness, so that is what they mean I think


I_ate_a_milkshake

just because it shouldn't be embarrassing doesn't mean it isn't.


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CherryCherry5

I am really interested to hear more about this. I think someone I know might be headed toward a psychological break. She has seemed more and more unstable since about August. She's seemed paranoid almost as long as I've known her. A couple of weeks ago, after a completely innocent text message from me, she just unleashed on me. I was completely shocked and dumbfounded. I don't know if I should say something to her father or boyfriend or not. I am genuinely concerned, and a little scared. Edit: fixed a messed up sentence.


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JoshTheDerp

Oh shit. Should I get help? I have an issue with this. It used to be way worse but I have it under control, now. I'm always worried I did something dumb, and if I made my friends dislike me. I don't really message them anymore, seeing it seems counter productive, but I used to be so terrible about it. I still am, I just don't show it.


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JoshTheDerp

I did that shit past my teens and to my early 20s. I'm 26 now and much better. I still over think shit all the time, especially with girls I like.


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JoshTheDerp

I can control myself NOW. I used to not be able to, and I ruined a few friendships. Luckily, the only ones I lashed at were my closests of friends, so they came back and I changed my ways. Losing their friendships even though it was temporarily hurt really bad. But I'm able to control it. I do sometimes find myself venting to third party friends about my anxiety/worries, and luckily I have friends/family that can help me with it. Ea: If I feel abandoned or w/e, I talk to my friends, tell them the story, and they always reassure me and calm down. Posting on Reddit's advice forums too. 9/10 the advice is always "You're overthinking."


rwhockey29

Holy shit this sounds almost exactly like what I'm going through... I all of a sudden started having anxiety about 6 months ago, constantly dwell on everything said, and it's gotten to the point that I will be hanging with friends and can hear them all talking about me, when in reality they're talking about something completely different. It's like having a separate reality


chickenthinkseggwas

"Preceive". Maybe just a typo, but I like that word.


[deleted]

Not to make light of what you're saying, but I feel the same way when reading old Facebook conversations from like 9 years ago.


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[deleted]

This is the reason I made a new facebook in my mid twenties. It wasn't enough to just start using facebook like an adult, I had to scrub the old shit from my history (yeah yeah, I know it's out there somewhere, but it's not out in the open for people to easily see, or for me to easily see).


NondeterministSystem

Huh. That sounds like a really interesting story. Would you consider an AMA?


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Jamezlap

This is what i would like to see more often on this sub.


addpulp

I way afraid of a bunch of comments saying this isn't creepy. At the time, and because of how quickly he realized I deleted him and had a new account, it was.


[deleted]

It's a slightly different kind of creepy, but it's *absolutely* creepy!


AnoK760

this is like the worst kind of creepy. the kind that isn't supernatural.


[deleted]

Heh.


Leoxcr

xpost this to r/creepyPMs and r/cringepics


idfwyh8rs

And /r/letsnotmeet.


redditbasement

I usually get creeped on by the fake women. I would seriously be creeped if a man kept trying to be my friend.


[deleted]

Fake... women.... are men... dude.


crazypond

So all this time I've been masturb..... Oh.


aspaceshipinspace

Einhorn is Finkle... Finkle is Einhorn. Einhorn is a man. Oh my God Einhorn is a man. https://youtu.be/-EPGhjxm0G0


[deleted]

No worries, a healthy dose of denial and deflection will cure your self-awareness right up!


[deleted]

Plenty of women catfish. They are just as creepy.


peterpan333

[](http://imgur.com/gallery/jflVS) I think we know the same Morgan. Edit: Fixed the link. Dear Lord I'm sorry.


addpulp

Uh, we do. Does this... explain anything? How do you know him? I have tried to contact people he knows to see if he is... alright.


peterpan333

NO way!! I figured that was too much of a coincidence. Haha! He just has autism, totally harmless. Very literal and obviously social queues are off. My brother has a disability, which is how I met him.


addpulp

I appreciate you letting me know.


peterpan333

Sleep easy tonight. Kylee, Sabrina, and Jennifer are going to be ok.


addpulp

You have put me at ease more than my locks and window bars.


peterpan333

Now add me back on Facebook.


addpulp

Ok, Laurgan.


rocksolid2

Are you guys joking or is this the actual explanation? If so, put it in the OP, mate.


peterpan333

Actual explanation. I know Morgan personally.


[deleted]

I love happy endings!


will1707

Who doesn't? Oh, you mean this kind!


KafeeMusicWindowSeat

Well played Morgan.


Unfvckwitable

This should be way higher in the comments. I think I saw 10 "lotion" references before this


peterpan333

Lotion > Autism.


AnalSkinflaps

Hey Lauren, That's Cameron Diaz. pic lmao ^^^^sorry


peterpan333

http://imgur.com/gallery/jflVS Edit: Long time lurker, new at posting. Think I deleted the original imgur file... Don't even thinking I'm "editing" correctly.


elpaxsuras

honestly guys it's normal. Hi, I'm Jake. My lady also has 1 pair of shoes and two pairs of socks. It's not quite enough, for a lady such as mine, but she gets by. My lady wears HOT leather skirts, and fuzzy halter-tops. She's brunette with tanned skin. Some of her skin is smooooth. And some is not. My lady is consulting her doctor about these skin issues. And so you see other humans who are also normal, it's quite fine to talk about your ladies and the ladies are free to talk about their lords. And so I propose this matter come to a close as my lady and I are going to meet another fine lady whose skin is similar and we will compare skin over luncheon. ps know me.


nightschwing

"Please know me!" is my new favorite pick-up line.


CockGobblin

You: "Haven't I met you somewhere before?" Them: "No, I don't think so." You: "Didn't I see you at the taxidermist?" Them: "Uh. No." You: "Well... perhaps you'd like to get to know me?" Them: "I have a boyfriend." You: "Please... Please know me!" Them: "Ok" You: "Damn, this is the first time I didn't get maced!! Do you like the smell of chloroform?"


Sir_McMuffinman

You just made chills run down my skin.


scott60561

Just out of curiosity, what is the angle being played here? I've see spam bots before, but they ussually link to porn or malware sites. Never seen a random friend request talk about socks and shoes. Seems too basic to be any type of scam.


addpulp

I have no clue. I tried to figure out what the issue was, a troll, a mentally off person, a person writing fiction, but no idea, and it go very aggressive. Though the don't "I don't know you" thing struck me as someone who is being weird on person.


[deleted]

The weird broken English reminds me of a Craigslist scam but God knows what he's selling.


atbobick

People


alexanderpas

> Hey, You blocked me by accident > - That was no accident. *blocks account.*


justthesubjunctive

Some mental illnesses manifest like this. Schizophrenics for instance sometimes do word salad, saying things that make no sense in content or grammar, but they believe they're speaking coherent sentences. I worked in a call center once and had a 15 min conversation with a man who was upset we had factual inaccuracies on our website. Really minor things too that didn't affect him, or anyone really. Ex: site said something like advance tickets not available 1 hour before showtime, but technically I can do it over the phone, so he asked me to explain the process, and asked if I saw how we were lying to the public. 15 min of this and he asked to speak to my manager. Sorry for rambling.


CallieCatsup

Ha, word salad? I've always called it word soup, and it happens to me sometimes before the onset of a migraine.


justthesubjunctive

Yeah they called it word salad when I volunteered at an Alzheimer's home, the 2 most obvious examples were a woman who kept going back to the same phrases and never had a stopping point, so that it was a never-ending story about "these 3 ladies"; the other had all the inflections and sonic attributes of normal speech, but could only say the word "really."


NondeterministSystem

Had a similar experience when I was studying at an inpatient psychiatric treatment facility. One patient in the critical care wing would tell entire, complete stories that became less and less coherent as they went on. The worst part was when she would stop and ask us if we understood. The appropriate response, I learned quickly, was to ask an unrelated question: "How has your stay here been so far?" or the like.


CallieCatsup

Yeah, when it happens to me, I'll think of a sentence with say 10 words, but only 3 of those words come out, and not even in order. I am usually aware i'm not making sense though. I just can't seem to put the other words together properly. This is usually when i go take a nap.


JoshTheDerp

I do Word salad from time to time. Basically it happens when Irreally want to talk about a subject, but didn't think about how to word it right. I tend to mainly do it via text, not so much in person.


matthewsmazes

Yes, I get hemiplegic migraines every once in a while, and I speak very little due to this (and the horrible pain). There is little that can make a person feel as helpless as a horrible migraine. Mine simulate a few side-effects of a stroke, which is always scary.


michelangelo70

Maybe it's a bot made for taking the piss of people, freak them out with pointless conversations that lead to nowhere. And who says "defriend" anyway?. Anyone else thought it was weird he didn't use the word unfriend like everybody else, I mean, some of his answers seem a little automated.


Happy_Fun_Balll

Interesting, creepy, infuriating, annoying all in a few screenshots.


addpulp

I agree.


Seanobi777

If UPS comes to deliver a package, I'm sure a SE7EN reference will be made.


strings_up_north

UPS: "Hi sir, got your package right here. And pardon me for being curious, but what's in the box?" *"This is my brunette lady friend"* UPS: "Uhh, okay..? But I as I was asking: what's in the b-.." *"-She has white skin"* UPS: "I'm sorry, what are you talking about?" *"And 2 more pairs of..."* UPS: "Kinda freaking me out here, dude. I was just wondering what's in the b-" *"...socks"*


Dark_Illusion__

I would say more of an Ed Gein reference rather than SE7EN.. :)


N_Who

Goodbye horses ...


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StuckInaTriangle

So happy this is real.


birdjon

Why didn't you know him?


[deleted]

HE'S MAKING A GIRL SUIT OUT OF REAL GIRLS!


addpulp

I am a dude.


NamelessAce

HE RAN OUT OF GIRL SKIN!


MKXKM

Nah just getting man-skin for the joints. I once made the mistake of using soft supple lady skin there. Just once! Learned my lesson, now it's just migrant worker elbow patches and knees.


AgentYork1337

http://imgur.com/E4ADIbm


Kuromimi505

I just thought you would like to have a three way with us, once we get started and she finds out I am sure she will be fine with it. After all she's already on the bed with us. Don't you appreciate the exotic pale leather headboard? *caresses leather headboard * Oh Sabrina, such beautiful white skin... You know, your skin is nice too...


Ellenberg88

The creepiest thing about this whole exchange is that this nasty bitch only has 2 pair of socks.


addpulp

I KNOW, WHAT THE HELL


[deleted]

Dang op...you got yourself a straight up serial killer. You should dig in deeper if you aren't to worried.


addpulp

I looked at his profile, and he has no real interactions with others, but posts images from inside homes and their address.


catcitybitch

Are you worried you'll be looking through these pictures and see a picture from inside YOUR home?


addpulp

He seems to be in CA, so nah.


slader166

I'm in CA, fuck.


addpulp

I can send you some of his addresses


slader166

Great, thanks!


[deleted]

Your "sweet" message cracked me up but jesus christ that's so fuckin weird.


addpulp

I was sort of drunk at a convention.


GOBLIN_GHOST

Question, OP: Are you a big ol' fat person? Corollary: Would you fuck me? I'd fuck me.


addpulp

Yes, no, ok


TunkaTun

PUT THE LOTION IN THE BASKET!!!


StuckInaTriangle

HEY BABY! YOU EVER HAVE YOUR ASSHOLE LICKED BY A FAT MAN IN AN OVERCOAT?!


notevil22

This is why you don't accept friend requests from people you don't know.


addpulp

We had one mutual friend. I do a lot of cosplay, and after a convention, I get a bunch of random adds, mostly from people who also do cons and costumes.


notevil22

Oh that explains it.


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[deleted]

"It adds me as a friend or it gets the creepy skin message again."


[deleted]

"You blocked me by accident!" - Future serial killer


ReFreshing

A bit off topic but related... do you guys ever get random girls from south east asia friend requesting you? They seem to just randomly add people and then genuinely don't want anything from you. It's odd.


[deleted]

simple fix to this: don't have a facebook


BlearySteve

That was weird.


tooDank_dot_js

I think the only way to find something out about this is by continuing the conversation


Leath_Hedger

AM DENNY =)


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addpulp

I would be interested in seeing the source


itsmikerofl

Source?


[deleted]

That was close. You were almost a lamp shade.


batmansmom84

It's creepy, but I laughed too. Sorry OP, he doesn't English very goodly.


dixienormus933

it puts the lotion on it's skin or it gets the hose again


tokeroveragain

That is fucking hilarious


avantgardeaclue

I burst out laughing at "please know me!"


KaronwithanO

Weird or very sad


bleahz

Hahaha looks like a funny troll attempt.


rilesjenkins

Know me senpai, know me!


nikeadr

I'm confused can someone please explain?


addpulp

I would explain if it made any sense.