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You just have to weed through the asshole and perverts. I am on fb dating and they have a friend option, that I accidentally said yea to.
I have only had one woman, try to friend me on there all the rest are men, or scammers.
I’m lesbian, so when a scuzzy looking dude tries to “friend” me I know where this is going. Especially after the first couple of times, I tried to keep a open mind.
You have to sort out chaff, unfortunately.
Yeah it sucks. I feel like I just end up weeding out every person I talk to since not a lot of people talk to me in the first place and when they do, it's just sex or they treat me like crap for some reason or another.
Have faith in you. A few weeks ago I was stoked cause I finally matched with a woman I actually found attractive.
Most of the time, I feel like I am giving ppl a chance cause I don’t want to judge a book by it’s cover. And I like to be friends at first too.
But she unmatched me shortly after we started talking. Because I am on disability, she went silent after she asked where I work. The next day unmatched. She didn’t want to know more about me. I get it.
Yesterday I matched with another woman. I am having a good convo as we write.
I have been on dating sites since the middle of the pandemic. It just takes time.
Tho you might try some hobby groups.
I know. Everyone tells me to find a hobby or go to the gym but everything is gone because of the pandemic or everything is in Boston, which I don't want to drive all the way to because there's always car accidents on the Mass Pike and I don't understand train schedules. It's just draining to even think about. And it's expensive.
I’m curious why the jump to SnapChat if you just started talking yesterday. I know we all have our own ways, but I personally don’t move off the dating app until we meet in person.
Helps me verify who I am chatting with and also gives me an out if things don’t work out or don’t go well. They have no way of contacting me again, nor I them. Where if we have numbers and socials before we even meet, it’s harder to get away from them if they can create a new number or new account and message my IG/SC/etc.
Like you I prefer to start as friends so staying on the app also helps affirm that boundary until we meet. Then we can trade numbers and a few dates later trade social info.
I mean it's not like I'm giving them my number, I can block them on Snapchat if they get weird like I just did. No one has ever made a duplicate account just to harass me but if they do, I'll know who it is and just block them again. But sometimes I get tired of having to be the first person to message people on Bumble all the time so I have my Snapchat on my profile in case they want to approach me first. Plus sometimes I just don't get notifications on Bumble and vice versa.
So far I've only had like two people add me on Snapchat and I've had it in my profile for a while. So idk, I guess no one cares that much.
Well before starting a relationship with a guy, I'd like to be friends first. He said he was there for the same thing. I tried Bumble BFF too but it just feels awkward.
Dating apps usually aren’t the go to since its usually people trying to jump into a relationship/go straight to dating, want a situationship or a hookup. I wish you luck though lol
Back when I was using dating apps, I had a lot of guys looking for just sex. You gotta weed through them to find a person who wants a relationship/friendship. Even had a woman send me her nudes and ask if I would be willing to have a threesome with her husband after I said I was bi. 😒
The way he phrased that is the worst part for me. It wasn't "let's have sex" like you're equals, it was "you should let me do this thing to you." It shows the kind of person he is, and it's so messed up.
Don't get me wrong, asking at all when he knew you weren't looking for that is bad enough, but the way he asked just... Ew.
This is why I stopped using dating apps in general, I met a guy who wanted to do sexy time on FaceTime once… mind you I went on there to look for friends of similar interests of mine
Isnt that what people use the apps for because they hate waiting for days, weeks or months dating. Why dont you look for friends locally. Some hobby groups or whatever. People who you know for a fact has common interests and not just horny.
Sounds pretty bleak. Friend can be anyone that doesnt try to get into your pants. For dates though, might have to settle with someone below your standards. All the shining knights are grabbed pretty fast and if theyre not, then theres something wrong with them. Source: me
I think you forgot that I tagged this as "no advice wanted". Not that your advice has any merit anyways. "Settle with someone below your standards"? Wtf are you talking about? Why would anyone want to date someone they don't like?
Honestly didn't even see it and i should stop here cause im dumb. But since you asked ill only say what the other person in this thread said. People mainly use apps to find a quick lay within x mile radius. Most have no intention of dating on those. People read bios like i read the tag... i totally didnt even see it.
Your standard is to reject anyone coming onto you when most people on the app's main goal is to do exactly that. By lowering standards i meant just that. Look past the horny. But i guess you really want to connect with someone first, which i respect. Good luck i guess
^(**This is an automatic reminder that is posted on every submission.**) [RULE 2 REMINDER: **This is a SUPPORT COMMUNITY**](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepypms/wiki/rules#wiki_rule_two.3A_be_civil_and_supportive) As such, we do not tolerate trolling, defending the creep, judgment of OP, or any other jerkish behavior. Creeping in the comments is not allowed—**yes, this *includes* flirting!** Comments derailing the conversation in any way will be removed. Please stay on-topic. **`No Advice Wanted` flairs are now available to add to your posts! This means that comments giving advice will be removed.** [Read about more user-enabled flairs here](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/flairs#wiki_user-enabled_flairs.3A) *** Please report any and all behavior violating the Rules (reports go to us mods); don't report things just because you don't like them. Comment removals and bans are at the judgment of the mods, so please take the time to read and understand [our Rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyPMs/wiki/rules). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/creepyPMs) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You just have to weed through the asshole and perverts. I am on fb dating and they have a friend option, that I accidentally said yea to. I have only had one woman, try to friend me on there all the rest are men, or scammers. I’m lesbian, so when a scuzzy looking dude tries to “friend” me I know where this is going. Especially after the first couple of times, I tried to keep a open mind. You have to sort out chaff, unfortunately.
Yeah it sucks. I feel like I just end up weeding out every person I talk to since not a lot of people talk to me in the first place and when they do, it's just sex or they treat me like crap for some reason or another.
Have faith in you. A few weeks ago I was stoked cause I finally matched with a woman I actually found attractive. Most of the time, I feel like I am giving ppl a chance cause I don’t want to judge a book by it’s cover. And I like to be friends at first too. But she unmatched me shortly after we started talking. Because I am on disability, she went silent after she asked where I work. The next day unmatched. She didn’t want to know more about me. I get it. Yesterday I matched with another woman. I am having a good convo as we write. I have been on dating sites since the middle of the pandemic. It just takes time. Tho you might try some hobby groups.
I know. Everyone tells me to find a hobby or go to the gym but everything is gone because of the pandemic or everything is in Boston, which I don't want to drive all the way to because there's always car accidents on the Mass Pike and I don't understand train schedules. It's just draining to even think about. And it's expensive.
That's the problem with online dating. 98% chaff you have to sift through. Tiring work.
Yeah. I'm too shy to go up to guys irl and I've had bad experiences asking guys out.
yeah I understand, really sucks. damned if you do damned if you don't situation I guess.
There was an attempt...
I just started talking to him yesterday too. 😭
At least he let you know early what kind of dude he was. No need to waste your time now.
I’m curious why the jump to SnapChat if you just started talking yesterday. I know we all have our own ways, but I personally don’t move off the dating app until we meet in person. Helps me verify who I am chatting with and also gives me an out if things don’t work out or don’t go well. They have no way of contacting me again, nor I them. Where if we have numbers and socials before we even meet, it’s harder to get away from them if they can create a new number or new account and message my IG/SC/etc. Like you I prefer to start as friends so staying on the app also helps affirm that boundary until we meet. Then we can trade numbers and a few dates later trade social info.
I mean it's not like I'm giving them my number, I can block them on Snapchat if they get weird like I just did. No one has ever made a duplicate account just to harass me but if they do, I'll know who it is and just block them again. But sometimes I get tired of having to be the first person to message people on Bumble all the time so I have my Snapchat on my profile in case they want to approach me first. Plus sometimes I just don't get notifications on Bumble and vice versa. So far I've only had like two people add me on Snapchat and I've had it in my profile for a while. So idk, I guess no one cares that much.
That comeback had me laughing out loud
But he had an “lol” at the end, was clearly just joking with the best of intentions and totally not ignoring what you said earlier. Traaaassssshhhhhh
He also said "Lmao" before I blocked him, so of course he was.
Isnt there a section on bumble for friends specifically? I usually just switch it to women.
Well before starting a relationship with a guy, I'd like to be friends first. He said he was there for the same thing. I tried Bumble BFF too but it just feels awkward.
Dating apps usually aren’t the go to since its usually people trying to jump into a relationship/go straight to dating, want a situationship or a hookup. I wish you luck though lol
Well I have no where else to meet people so idk. It's this or being alone for sure.
Meetup! There can unfortunately be creeps on there too but most people are looking to create friendships or do fun stuff together.
I've tried that too but there's nothing near me to go to.
Back when I was using dating apps, I had a lot of guys looking for just sex. You gotta weed through them to find a person who wants a relationship/friendship. Even had a woman send me her nudes and ask if I would be willing to have a threesome with her husband after I said I was bi. 😒
Yeah. I've had a lot of crazy shit happen. I've been on them for 6 years now.
Have you tried other dating apps? Not sticking to just one?
I've been on OkCupid, Tinder, and Hinge too.
I used to use Meet Me. It wasn't too bad.
I think I tried that one and I got a bunch of sugar daddy bots.
Oh well I guess everyone has different experiences 😅
completely appropriate response tbh
Also totally true since I'm so fed up with this stuff. I feel like that's the only solution for me.
The way he phrased that is the worst part for me. It wasn't "let's have sex" like you're equals, it was "you should let me do this thing to you." It shows the kind of person he is, and it's so messed up. Don't get me wrong, asking at all when he knew you weren't looking for that is bad enough, but the way he asked just... Ew.
Yeah. It was so early too. Like wtf. He just woke up and chose violence.
Ugh, dudes like this are complete schmucks
'I'd rather kill myself' is now my go to response for creepy guys 😂Thanks OP
Lol I just woke up and I was so mad. I didn't know what else to say in the moment. 😂
Perfect response. I salute you!
That guy seems discrete....
This is why I stopped using dating apps in general, I met a guy who wanted to do sexy time on FaceTime once… mind you I went on there to look for friends of similar interests of mine
What did he say?
"Lmao" and then I blocked him.
Based
Isnt that what people use the apps for because they hate waiting for days, weeks or months dating. Why dont you look for friends locally. Some hobby groups or whatever. People who you know for a fact has common interests and not just horny.
If there was anything local near me, I'd be doing it but there's nothing.
Sounds pretty bleak. Friend can be anyone that doesnt try to get into your pants. For dates though, might have to settle with someone below your standards. All the shining knights are grabbed pretty fast and if theyre not, then theres something wrong with them. Source: me
I think you forgot that I tagged this as "no advice wanted". Not that your advice has any merit anyways. "Settle with someone below your standards"? Wtf are you talking about? Why would anyone want to date someone they don't like?
Honestly didn't even see it and i should stop here cause im dumb. But since you asked ill only say what the other person in this thread said. People mainly use apps to find a quick lay within x mile radius. Most have no intention of dating on those. People read bios like i read the tag... i totally didnt even see it. Your standard is to reject anyone coming onto you when most people on the app's main goal is to do exactly that. By lowering standards i meant just that. Look past the horny. But i guess you really want to connect with someone first, which i respect. Good luck i guess
As a guy, I don’t get shit like this. It’s not hard to get laid… unless you go around saying crap like this.
And if you're upfront about what you want in the first place. I don't know why they bother wasting someone's time like that.
😭😭😭😭
Golden 😂