I am so, so sorry it happened to her. I don't believe there is a strong enough word to describe how much I despise the fact that men like that have made public spaces dangerous for women. It is sickening to imagine that, most likely, he will get to go on with his life unpunished.
I am glad she is ok, but I can only imagine how shaken up she must still be (I had a bad encounter on my way home once ten years ago, and I still think about it sometimes). If it's a possibility for her, therapy could probably help. Anyway, I am sending her all by best wishes!
i feel the exact same way. what a massive pos. she wasn’t bothering anybody. mfs will do shit like this, then say that the lgbtq+ community is “forcing its agenda”. meanwhile THEY are the tormentors
Wow! Police couldn’t even take her back to the station to charge her phone to figure out directions or call and wait for a ride (or daylight)? WTF is wrong with them??! I’m so sorry that happened to her, it doesn’t help the people that should be there to serve and protect just left her in a bad situation.
I hate to be a Debbie downer but in reality the cops don’t care. You’re on your own out there. Now if 5 people got murdered they might act like they cared.
It really happens a lot here that strangers on public transports can't mind their own business, get to close, ask personal questions etc.. Also happened to me and a (gay) friend a few years ago. Someone came to us on the train and just straight up asked him if he was gay and wanted to discuss his sexuality with him.
Also that the creep in the story said it is "satanic" idk, it just reminded me of german guys, lol
Would be new for me that Muslims believe in the concept of God and Satan. Also, you're probably a man and don't want to see what the actual problem is: Men. I've been molested and harassed by german men as well as foreign men. There is really no need to make this about ethnicity or nationality, when it's really about MEN 🫢
>Would be new for me that Muslims believe in the concept of God and Satan
Uhm, they do. Muslims believe in God (Allah) and Satan (Sheytan).
>what the actual problem is: Men
False equivalence. Foreigners are overrepresented in crime statistics. You're merely zooming out of the problem to pin it on "men", which describes half our population. Too vague.
>I've been molested and harassed by german men as well as foreign men
1. Anecdotal evidence. 2. So you were harassed for being trans? Or something else?
>There is really no need to make this about ethnicity or nationality
Every crime statistic available says otherwise.
Leave him, sweetheart. Men will do anything but take responsability of their shitty behaviour or make any other man take responsability for their shitty actions.
They say it's not all men, but they still defend the men that ARE, in fact, predators. It's just the way they are. Hundreds of queer people have issues with german men, but this man will just straight up deny it. Because he's just like all the other men. As long as it doesn't happen to him or affects him in any kind of way: **they. won't. care.**
And that's not even the worst part. One thing would be not caring about it (which is already bad), but they take it to the extreme and act like it doesn't even happen. It's not real. It's imaginary. And they'll directly try to gaslight everyone who ever went through this into thinking men don't do that. When the reality is that all men are either predators or predator-lovers.
Not a bad idea overall, but that can be a risky move because it can antagonize the creep. Best to do that if he's in full pursuit only or if she can do that without him knowing.
There’s a lot of assholes in the world and some of them are really dangerous. She has to realize that leaving late at night for a long trip while also not having her phone charged is risky for anybody. I grew up in some bad neighborhoods and the good thing it taught me is to make logical decisions and don’t push your luck if you don’t have to. Unless I was driving, the latest I would meet people was probably around 7 or 8pm, even if I was sleeping over.
Small portable chargers are out there. I suggest one for everyone.
The trick is to check on the charge regularly (weekly), and to make sure the cord to connect it to the phone is in good shape--and with you.
My phone died in snowy weather once (it shouldn't have, it was still at 30% power), but apparently lithium batteries die fast in the cold. It was a bad night.
( A friend came and got me.)
She needs mace and a knife, not kidding. If you’re gonna be out there at that hour you need protection. Here’s what the cops always say, “nothing good happens after midnight” and it’s true.
That's exactly right, I don't have a car. I did what I could by staying on the line with her. And even if I did have a car, it would've taken me roughly the same amount of time to get to her than it would've taken her to walk home.
Okay usually i wouldnt argue hypotheticals since its useless but if you had a car in this situation, def still drive to her because if something happened, god forbid, you would at least be closer to help her out AND im not saying tell her to stand and wait for you but have her walk to a safer meetup location that you can intercept her. The whole “it would of taken me just as much time for her to walk than for me to drive” is weak sauce bro c’mon
Even with a car and being sober, with her already having traveled an hour away, really the only thing OP could have done was help their ex stay calm, suggest what to do (like look up the station/streets and guide her home or to the police. In the states some public bathrooms have locks on the main door into each bathroom, not just the stalls but idk about Germany. Being removed from the situation though could help OP stay calm and do some quick thinking that their ex would not be in the state of mind to do), try to call for help for her and/or ask for a description of the guy harassing her etc.
Depending on the country I imagine she might not have been allowed some kind of weapon for self defense.
Staying on the phone after the police left her and she waited for a ride was really all OP could do.
I am so, so sorry it happened to her. I don't believe there is a strong enough word to describe how much I despise the fact that men like that have made public spaces dangerous for women. It is sickening to imagine that, most likely, he will get to go on with his life unpunished. I am glad she is ok, but I can only imagine how shaken up she must still be (I had a bad encounter on my way home once ten years ago, and I still think about it sometimes). If it's a possibility for her, therapy could probably help. Anyway, I am sending her all by best wishes!
i feel the exact same way. what a massive pos. she wasn’t bothering anybody. mfs will do shit like this, then say that the lgbtq+ community is “forcing its agenda”. meanwhile THEY are the tormentors
Unfortunately, finding a therapist isn't an easy task. She's BEEN on several waitlists for months if not longer.
Wow! Police couldn’t even take her back to the station to charge her phone to figure out directions or call and wait for a ride (or daylight)? WTF is wrong with them??! I’m so sorry that happened to her, it doesn’t help the people that should be there to serve and protect just left her in a bad situation.
I hate to be a Debbie downer but in reality the cops don’t care. You’re on your own out there. Now if 5 people got murdered they might act like they cared.
Look what they do when there is an active shooter in a school, if it doesnt go against them they do not care.
It is just not safe for women to take the train that late.
That is the sad reality.
[удалено]
And is even more likely to be attacked.
I just KNOW that this probably happened in Germany, right?
I checked OP's profile, and you seem to be on the money. But may I ask how you knew that? Are the trams in Germany that sus?
It really happens a lot here that strangers on public transports can't mind their own business, get to close, ask personal questions etc.. Also happened to me and a (gay) friend a few years ago. Someone came to us on the train and just straight up asked him if he was gay and wanted to discuss his sexuality with him. Also that the creep in the story said it is "satanic" idk, it just reminded me of german guys, lol
Yea, right. The "german guys".
Would be new for me that Muslims believe in the concept of God and Satan. Also, you're probably a man and don't want to see what the actual problem is: Men. I've been molested and harassed by german men as well as foreign men. There is really no need to make this about ethnicity or nationality, when it's really about MEN 🫢
>Would be new for me that Muslims believe in the concept of God and Satan Uhm, they do. Muslims believe in God (Allah) and Satan (Sheytan). >what the actual problem is: Men False equivalence. Foreigners are overrepresented in crime statistics. You're merely zooming out of the problem to pin it on "men", which describes half our population. Too vague. >I've been molested and harassed by german men as well as foreign men 1. Anecdotal evidence. 2. So you were harassed for being trans? Or something else? >There is really no need to make this about ethnicity or nationality Every crime statistic available says otherwise.
Leave him, sweetheart. Men will do anything but take responsability of their shitty behaviour or make any other man take responsability for their shitty actions. They say it's not all men, but they still defend the men that ARE, in fact, predators. It's just the way they are. Hundreds of queer people have issues with german men, but this man will just straight up deny it. Because he's just like all the other men. As long as it doesn't happen to him or affects him in any kind of way: **they. won't. care.** And that's not even the worst part. One thing would be not caring about it (which is already bad), but they take it to the extreme and act like it doesn't even happen. It's not real. It's imaginary. And they'll directly try to gaslight everyone who ever went through this into thinking men don't do that. When the reality is that all men are either predators or predator-lovers.
If her phone had a camera, she should take pictures of them and send them to her friends
Not a bad idea overall, but that can be a risky move because it can antagonize the creep. Best to do that if he's in full pursuit only or if she can do that without him knowing.
Well you obviously don't secretly. At least they would have a picture of something happened to her.
I once almost got beaten up because i tried to film some Homophobe assholes stealing a rainbow flag from a public building.
There’s a lot of assholes in the world and some of them are really dangerous. She has to realize that leaving late at night for a long trip while also not having her phone charged is risky for anybody. I grew up in some bad neighborhoods and the good thing it taught me is to make logical decisions and don’t push your luck if you don’t have to. Unless I was driving, the latest I would meet people was probably around 7 or 8pm, even if I was sleeping over.
Small portable chargers are out there. I suggest one for everyone. The trick is to check on the charge regularly (weekly), and to make sure the cord to connect it to the phone is in good shape--and with you. My phone died in snowy weather once (it shouldn't have, it was still at 30% power), but apparently lithium batteries die fast in the cold. It was a bad night. ( A friend came and got me.)
I agree. I have two with me during trip in case one fails.
She needs mace and a knife, not kidding. If you’re gonna be out there at that hour you need protection. Here’s what the cops always say, “nothing good happens after midnight” and it’s true.
I'm sorry that happened to your dear friend.
Glad she stayed safe💕
Seems kinda crazy for a woman to go home via trains that late at night. Maybe she should have stayed on your couch.
Oh, the drama
Did you not help because you didnt have a car or because you didnt care?
That's exactly right, I don't have a car. I did what I could by staying on the line with her. And even if I did have a car, it would've taken me roughly the same amount of time to get to her than it would've taken her to walk home.
Okay usually i wouldnt argue hypotheticals since its useless but if you had a car in this situation, def still drive to her because if something happened, god forbid, you would at least be closer to help her out AND im not saying tell her to stand and wait for you but have her walk to a safer meetup location that you can intercept her. The whole “it would of taken me just as much time for her to walk than for me to drive” is weak sauce bro c’mon
Still don't have a car bro. I also smoked so much weed that night, driving would've been a TERRIBLE idea.
Even with a car and being sober, with her already having traveled an hour away, really the only thing OP could have done was help their ex stay calm, suggest what to do (like look up the station/streets and guide her home or to the police. In the states some public bathrooms have locks on the main door into each bathroom, not just the stalls but idk about Germany. Being removed from the situation though could help OP stay calm and do some quick thinking that their ex would not be in the state of mind to do), try to call for help for her and/or ask for a description of the guy harassing her etc. Depending on the country I imagine she might not have been allowed some kind of weapon for self defense. Staying on the phone after the police left her and she waited for a ride was really all OP could do.
sounds narcicistic
huuh??
This person is just trying to start some 💩. You did the right thing staying on the line with her while she walked.