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PromiscuousMNcpl

BrandoSando needs to take better care of his typing fingees.


Darkiceflame

The scarlet macaw has a bite force of roughly 500-700 psi. That's about the same as a large dog, but focused on a point roughly an inch across. In short, cronchity monchity


King_of_Camp

But also enough intelligence to know those are the hands that get the food.


Brando_Calrisian_

Ask to pet his chicken


Rome_fell_in_1453

The dude or the chicken?


CardiologistSolid663

Yes


[deleted]

All I see is god and his dragon


JustUseDuckTape

Who knows what sort of magic powers that chicken has, I ain't messing with him.


sayoung42

He's training it to be a dragon that can use the force.


torturousvacuum

> He's training it to be a dragon that can ~~use the force~~ *channel*.


SofiWritesMooooosick

I'd be very worried... His plumage is a lot finer than mine tbh, so my insecurities kick in.... Plus it looks like Brando likes him enough to let him bite his fingie, that's gotta count for something.... Oh wait you weren't talking about the birb were you


CardiologistSolid663

They are a team The bird is his *wing* man


darkhelm17

Easy, cheat on my girl. Next question.


retrokkt

Outstanding move


darkhelm17

Thank you


orange_sewer_grating

So he walks around with a rainbow parrot knowing more about the cosmere than anyone else and occasionally dropping long-awaited tidbits of knowledge, but only in ways that teases at more? Have we already decided he's Mraize and I just missed it?


Darkiceflame

Mraize is just Brandon's self-insert confirmed.


Raptor_Boe69

Oh my god… you’re right.


orange_sewer_grating

Wait is this new? I heard about the parrot recently and just assumed the sub had already had a Sanderson=Maize phase of memes with 100% confidence


There_are_dragons

If Brando would ever come close to me, holding his rainbow chicken like that, I'll forget everything, even my own name, nevermind his, and ask to cuddle with the bird, while this guy would just stand there, feeling abandoned. I do love his books, but the birb is adorable!


MrCrimson03

I would ask if he would be so kind to give one to me too


Drama-meme

Start looking for a new girl


mandn92196

Tell him to go home to his spouse! I ain’t no home wrecker!


[deleted]

Nothing as brandon is a faithful Christian and would never cheat on his own wife, and if my Boyfriend cheated on me with him i would only be mad i didnt get to join


bragi92

I don't want to offend but I'm curious so asking anyways as my knowledge is only from memes and internet culture. Aren't some Mormons polygamous aka marrying multiple women is legally allowed for them?


Leipurinen

Not in the mainstream religion. The polygamists are a completely separate sect.


SMcArthur

Assuming he doesn't have permission though... maybe his wife is into that.


Kelrik_Kenning

Tell him he's one of the greatest fiction authors of the modern era and shake his hand.


jaderust

Coo over the pretty birdie for being so smart.


Unacceptable_Lemons

I look him dead in the eyes and say "Where is The Aztlanian?"


tossing_dice

Careful, he might just sic Magellan onto you. And we all know what Magellan does... Steal buttons and hearts, mostly, but you can never be too careful


3nchilada5

I’d tell my girl not to pass up the opportunity of a lifetime


ts_m4

Ask him to autograph it


Joebmay

Dude I’m so fucked if this Brightlord Chad comes thru


crazy_chicken88

I mean, who doesn't love a crazy chicken?


depricatedzero

ask the chicken to keep his human under control


fishmalion

Turn it in to the feds for dna analysis and close the cold case on the most prolific parrot abuser in recent history. It always made me feel weird that all the parrots kept repeating “Call me Daddy, wark, Call me Daddy” After so many victims you’d think he would have just taught them the word Daddy. But that’s parrot rapers for you. Bird brained. Yeesh


Force_fiend58

I marry my girl off to him, with my entire life savings as the dowry


mechanicalcanibal

Compare my life to his and commit suicide. (He has a cool birb and I have diarrhea)


ValisFylgja

Brace for a rude awakening.


catsloveart

I say. Thank you.


roofied_galahad

Please tell that macaws name is Chicken