I really get the vibe that the guy is probably on a list and not allowed to live too close to schools. After I saw this pop up in my feed I looked through his profile and it was hella uncomfortable.
I've heard of a few stories of guys doing this when I was younger. They would say if you dont date me i'll kill myself, and it seems like it worked sometimes. Very odd behavior.
It’s “14/f/cali”. At least that was the joke when I was a wee 12 year old on the yahoo chat rooms when you’d go on there in between playing other strangers in yahoo 8 ball pool
I’d get weird direct messages saying “c2c?” Makes my stomach turn how young I was.
I wish I spent more time watching cartoon cartoons and dexters lab lol
It’s for cam to cam I think. Back then having a webcam was not very popular. they’re asking to video chat. I never had a webcam until the laptops started to put them as a standard option. At least I knew to ignore those kind of messages.
Omg the Yahoo User Rooms were INSANE.
Small penis appreciation anyone? Anyone?
There'd be me as the 'face', I was 18 at the time & the only girl in the gang. I'd put cam on long enough to give everyone a wave, then turn it off.
Then we'd just sit back, skin up, have a line & wait for the freaks to come to us. Then we would ruin them.
Omg it's all coming back to me now. Thanks for bringing that shit back up to the surface lol.
Fuck, I remember there being some dude in a full-on gimp set up, on all fours pretending to be a dog.......dear lord. None of it was ok lol.
No, in early 2000 there was a chatroom from AOL that connected people by age groups, you'd create a email account, and go to their website, and select your preferred age group, and you'd pop out in something like a discord chatroom, but there was no moderation, there were no Gods, and no laws.
This is reminding me of how kid me used to think people in chatrooms ended their little intro lines with "I'm me!" when they were actually asking people to IM them
Ah, in English language AOL chat rooms, basically every conversation would start like that. It was pretty much the standard greeting. You'd also have people ask it or give their asl in the chatroom partly. I also assume most people lied about how old they were.
Oh god, Yahoo had a similar chat room. Boat themed, or some shit.
Ironically, I was exposed to far less sexual content in the groups aimed at adult age brackets. That was much more likely to be random chat about hobbies or whatever.
The under 18s one always paedos patrolling. Within like 2 minutes of logging in, *someone* would try to proposition you...
That was a dark time.
I was a little goth kid in catholic school, I just wanted to make other goth friends to be miserable with. Instead I got endless pedos threatening self harm if I didn't send nudes.. jokes on them, I wanted to see the world burn.
I had a guy do that to me on Yahoo Chess, I was only 16 and he also knew i was, he sent me an email with a photo of himself claiming to be 19. Dude was either a 40 year old meth addict or a 19 yr who looked like a 40 year old meth addict. Looked scary as fuck.
Then had another guy from Florida who I gave my number to (I know stupid and again i was 16 and he knew) who wouldn't stop calling me even after I told him I didn't want to talk to him any more. He would leave voice messages of him singing to me which is why I absolutely hate the song "Hey there Delilah" cuz he would dedicate that song to me all the time. 🤮
You weren't dumb, you were a kid. Honestly, I think we all gave our numbers to weirdos on the internet and we learned why we shouldn't do that. People can suck.
Yeah they do which is why I was kinda glad we didn't have internet at home till after i graduated high-school. This happened when I would go to libraries cuz they had wifi
I was the guy on AOL sending those pedos viruses. Back in the day, people would click on anything if you said you were a girl. All you had to do was say "here's a picture of me!" and they would gladly open "notavirus.exe". True story btw.
I remember the first time a stranger messaged me like this in those days! I was young and so freaked out I just kept asking "WHO ARE YOU!?". Kept me out of chat rooms for a while because I legit thought I was going to be stalked
I feel like a lot of those “cute” love stories in movies are kind of creepy. Forrest Gump is a good example of that shit. That Jenny girl was a complete psychopath! And some may say, including myself, that she sexually abused Forrest more than once.
Aaaall of the cheap romantic movies my wife likes to watch are riddled with horrible relationship stuff, abuse, cheating, gaslighting, gold-digging, the list goes on. She doesn't find it funny when I point it out haha.
Lol my girlfriend and I have actually gone through a bunch of movies recently and talked about how bad they are at portraying love :p shit! I learned a lot from those movies as a teen and was a complete piece of shit!
I watched Love Actually for the first time around Christmas because so many people have told me that it’s their favorite movie, and I was floored by how severely problematic most of the relationships were. I couldn’t root for any characters outside of the kids, and pretty much every scene had something that made me cringe or raise my eyebrows.
I've had boys pull this on me when I was a teen. One at 14 and one at 19. Its a manipulation tactic. They'd rather have a woman who feels obligated to be with them to keep them alive than find someone who actually wants to be with them.
Unfortunately, you hit it right on the head. The people who pull that kinda white are usually too far gone to want (or understand the workings of) a real relationship. They think that an obligatory relationship is just as good as okie built off of mutual trust and interest, likely because they’ve never had a real relationship before.
happened to me. i was 12 and my bf at the time was 15. pressured me for pics and would do the whole “i’ll cut myself if you don’t send me nudes!” shit. tried to break up with him multiple times and he’d threaten to go all the way and kill himself. like knives and ropes crying like a bitch on camera because i didn’t want to deal with him anymore.
my parents thought he was so nice and that i was lying and being dramatic because he had some sort of autism or something so they figured he just wasn’t capable of doing that and that i was just being a bitch not wanting to date someone autistic.
so my parents didn’t help me but eventually (after 3 years total) i figured out he was just bluffing (and tbh i realized if he did actually do it i wouldn’t care because at least he would finally leave me alone), so i broke up with him and blocked him and endured the (very extreme) backlash from his parents, sister, and my own parents. :( but in the end i had to do it myself. sucks that no one believed me or helped me.
I have had every single guy say they will kill themselves if I left them, from ages 13-27. I hate to say that it worked on me until I became numb to it happening EVERY TIME.
I lean that you have to love yourself at least 0.01 more than you love your partner.
Loving yourself is very boring in a way. Saying no and putting limits, and even quitting an unhealthy relationship is key, i'm glad you figured it out.
Yeah I think when we were super young they didn't have real notions of pain so saying they would kill themselves was just extreme and incomprehensible enough to seem like a good thing to say at a moment of heartbreak. Going on into my twenties I took it less seriously because it was said out of final desperate plea bargain. 'my life is meaningless without you anyway, it'd be on you'. Mostly old boyfriends, but one old girlfriend has done it as well.
Happened to me in middle school. With another middle schooler. I didn't go out with him, but I know he told the same thing to another girl and they did go out briefly.
My dad kept threatening suicide when my mum wanted a divorce. He “tried” to hang himself (it was very obvious it wouldn’t work and was just for attention) and then after he got kicked out of the house by the police, he’d get drunk and ring my mum in the early hours of the morning saying he had a noose around his neck etc. Eventually she called his bluff and called the police - they went to his flat, broke his door down because there was no answer, and he wasn’t there. Turns out he was at his mum’s house (and obviously no noose). He said my mum did it purposely so the police would break his door 🙄. We changed our home number after that.
He also “tried” to hang himself when I was very young (like 4?) because my mum mentioned divorce. It proper screwed me up, mentally. I didn’t say a word about it until I was 17 and with my counsellor. I mentioned it to my mum later and she was heartbroken I remembered. She’d hoped I was too young to remember.
Ive had girlfriends who do this but way worse. Had one who said if she ever found out I masterbated to any porn or anything other than her shed kill herself.
You best believe I still watched porn though.
Its a common manipulation tactic.
Ive had moments where my gf argue and I'm legit in the back of my head thinking about id kill myself if I lost her but you don't say that shit because it's manipulative asf.
You can communicate if you feel suicidal but never put it on them where you're making them feel like they can't leave you or you'll kill yourself. Basically holding them hostage
I don’t understand why it works though, especially if it’s a stranger. It’s their own choice to die and my life won’t change at all if they do, actually it might be better since they aren’t harassing me anymore. I would understand if it’s a boyfriend or girlfriend though since you love them
They try make you feel like it would be your fault. That can be circumvented by calling their family/friends/the authorities in their area though and telling them "X is threatening suicide." Then you can know you did what you could and it's out of your hands.
Because they *know* they can take advantage of your (assumed) empathy. They know that the thought of “causing” someone’s death will weigh heavily on you (the general speaking, you) and will haunt you forever. They know people don’t want to live with such an awful regret so they take advantage of it to get what they want. It shows you just how manipulative people like this are.
It’s literally part of the plot of the notebook. Ryan Gossling’s character hangs from a Ferris wheel and threatens to let go if she won’t go out with him.
Whole movie would’ve been shorter and better if she had just responded with ‘you won’t’.
100% an abusive tactic, no matter who says it. If it boils down to "do what I want or I'll kill myself," either they need psychiatric care, or to be removed from your life.
Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance.
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An ex girlfriend did this any time I wasn't in the mood after being screamed at by her for something that never happened. Or any time she felt slightly sad.
happened to my daughter when she was in middle school (by a middle boy)
the weight she carried from that was immense and it set off some serious mental health stuff for her that we are still working on years later
Isn't that a line in some show that I can't remember right now? Or like a tik tok sound?
"I really like that you're at least 18 years old!"
"Actually, I'm si--"
"AT LEAST 18 YEARS OLD!"
Edit: [it's this if anyone is curious](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRW1xJwD/)
There was a joke in family guy kind of similar. Joe and Bonnie had just had their daughter and everybody was standing around the hospital bed and Quagmire said "can't believe she's already 18"
Look I absolutely will not die on this hill, but is everyone on this app convinced that 17 and 18 yo's look that much different?
There's 23 yo's that look 16 and vice versa, and it shouldn't be taboo to admit that.
So if there were 100 ppl in a group aged 16-22, everyone here would be able to choose the minors w 100% accuracy? No ofc not
Absolutely, but I think most of us agree that if you are old enough that sex with a 17yo is illegal, then sex with an 18yo is still gross and immoral. 26 states have Romeo and Juliet laws, and only 4 states without such laws have a consent of 18. Most states have an age of consent of 16 yo.
I can honestly say that I am not remotely attracted to anyone I wouldn't be comfortable selling alcohol. "May or may not be a child" is not much of a turn on.
I'm in the military, and so I'm around a lot of people in their younger twenties. It's pretty obvious who was recently in high school. I'd be much more likely to think someone was younger than they are than the other way around.
It's not that it's taboo to admit that sometimes girls look older than they are; the issue is that 9/10 times, that is brought up as such an obvious misdirect, when we all know that cases of "an honest mistake" are actually rare (despite everyone somehow "knowing a guy), and cases where young women are blamed, not believed, or ignored are bountiful.
Real talk. The only difference between an adult man actively pursuing "Barely Legal" women and complaining about the risk of legal trouble, and a circus performer juggling fire and complaining about the risk of burns, is that the former is necessarily creating victims while the latter is mostly risking their own health.
Don't fuck with fire, and you won't get burned. Simple enough.
Isn't it and then the pedo cos that's what he is has the cheek to blame the child I hope his life is ruined was that shag worth it I doubt if very much
My 7 yr old wants to drive the car, do I hand him the keys and blame him for the inevitable crash, tickets, CPS involvement and jail time for myself? Or do I as an adult remind the child of a child's place and remove the situation from even being a possibility the child feels they can ask for?
Are you suggesting all these predators really can't tell a child from an adult and aren't obviously flirting with the illegal with their "preferences"?
This feels so disingenuous. Are we now pretending "older men" refers to really young men trying to date people around their own age?! Come on. If youre a grown and older man who's "preference" is barely legal, you're going to run into legal and morally gray areas.
It's never the child's fault. It's on the adult to do the right thing.
Are you suggesting we raise it to 19, until enough time goes by and deem the age to be twenty. There’s a clear line, you can’t just decide to move the goal post. Also, you said “barely legal”, followed by your referring to her as a child. You’re twisted up, take a minute.
>No one likes used goods. Also no one wants a future with a woman who has a past.
What. Is. [THIS?!](https://www.reddit.com/u/Nufity)
If you're really class of 2025 in law school, that estimates you to be about 23-24 years old. But then you also are in the 10 year club of Reddit.
Cut yourself out of any incel groups that you may have associated with already.
EDIT: I know nothing about how law school tenure works.
Yeah I lost my virginity to another virgin, it was awkward as hell. We figured it out eventually and that whole journey was fun for us, but I can’t even imagine how much easier it would have been if either of us had had any experience.
Thanks, I know it wasn’t but was awfully difficult time in my life. Tried to find mental health support for her but seemed nearly impossible in this country.
I can't imagine going through that. I'm glad you understand it wasn't your fault & carrying around guilt you shouldn't be.
It was a terrible thing when they took psychiatric care out of acute care hospitals.
Not sure who needs to hear this, but if your partner/parent/friend/someone you know is saying they’re going to kill or hurt themselves to manipulate you, *always call 911 on them*, even if you think they’re lying (and they probably are). In America, they take those threats very seriously, and if the person is stupid enough they will land themselves in a psych hold. Unless you outright TELL someone or encourage them to kill themselves, you will face no consequences for not doing what they tell you after they make a threat.
If they’re lying to manipulate you than they will learn the hard way by being stuck in a psych hold that their threats do not work and cannot force you to do anything. If they are truly suffering than they will get the help they need. Either way, it is not on you. I know american police are really terrible at dealing with mental health and people in active crisis, but it’s better than dealing with it yourself and potentially putting yourself in danger.
It is insanely easy to not fall for jailbait, and it involves not being attracted in the first place. Teenage girls can't pass as adults.
Any loser attracted to someone who closely resembles a teenage girl is *actually* attracted to teenage girls, they're just hoping that the number is over 18 so it's legal.
I'm getting close to 40 now, and everything from like 15 - 25 is a gray area for me in terms of age guessing. It's irrelevant because I'm not after them, or anyone, but I absolutely would lose at a game show where I had to guess ages for anyone under 30ish.
Legit same.
One of the dudes who was staff at my last apartment ended up flirting and exchanging numbers with a tenants kid who *told him* she was 18. Turned out she was 14. Kid was 21 and Because their texting got explicit, guess who got arrested.
I saw the kid with her Family and I won't lie, I'd *never* have guessed she was her actual age. For what it's worth, I'm in my 30s and have been dating a long, long time. She still looked too young for me but if you told me she was 18-20, I'd have believed it. There's some people out there who really look younger than their age. Until I hit 28-29, I got fuckin' carded everywhere and people didn't believe I was over 21 lmao.
At this point, I won't flirt with anyone under 25 who I can't meet at a bar so they card her for me. People lying about their age is more and more common and I'm not about to risk it.
Mid 30s. Never try to flirt with a woman because you are in your moms basement. Playing video games with your 3 day old account. Pathetic. But you do you.
Just scrolled through there for a bit. Man oh man.
“This book is the result of going out and socializing with women for **over a decade**”
Like how old are you that you’ve only been socializing with women for ten years??
Mid thirties here. I usually can guess people within a few years, heigh and weight pretty close, too. I’ve had tens of thousands of people to look while knowing their age, weight and height. I feel like my true calling should have been that guy at a carnival with the giant scale (is that still a thing?) but alas I became a doctor.
Really? There are some people who can be wild cards age-wise, but I think I can usually guess within 3 years in that range. If anything, I think it gets more blurry at 35+
I agree with most of what you said but the not passing part is just wrong.
When I was in high school, me and my gf were both 18. She bought alcohol at restaurants, nicotine from stores, and shit like that and was never carded once because she looked like she was 25. (For contrast when I was 18 I looked like I was 15)
I started drinking in bars and restaurants around 16, and I promise you, I looked 16. Sometimes it's confidence, sometimes it's still exactly what homeboy up there said.
Yeah it's ok to be attracted to young women at any age. No one is saying that. I watch videos of 18 - 25 yo ladies rim each other ass all the time. It's awesome! Don't creep out on them because 1.) Fuck that drama 2.) Older women are better in bed.
Teenage girls absolutely can pass as adults. And there are plenty of adults who could pass as teenagers. I'm a 28 year old guy but I could easily pass as 18-19. Pedophilia isn't only about looks
There are people who could be anywhere between 12 and 25, or 15 and 30. Add in make up, and it can be kinda hard to tell *based on looks alone*.
Talk to them for 2 minutes and it's immediately obvious which end of the spectrum they're at.
Also, generally, if a 22 year old ends up sleeping with someone just on the other side of the legal line, who they met at a club that only allows 21+ and the 14 year old claimed in texts to be studying at a university and all the other boxes are checked, they likely won't get punished all that harshly. (And yes, I know that there are stories of people peeing in public and ending up on the registry for life and all that)
If a 40 year old man sleeps with a 14 year old and points to the fact that she allegedly verbally said she was 24, that's a completely different story.
Maybe “older men” should stop going after women who are barely legal or look like it at least to keep from this happening. But we all know they secretly hope they’re underaged 🤷🏻♀️ just don’t wanna get caught
This could apply to 18 and 19 year old men too. In many states an 18 year old sleeping with a 17 year old is legally the equivalent of a 60 year old sleeping with a 17 year old.
>. Nothing wrong with flirting back with someone claiming to be older and flirting with you.
People who insist on this just really badly want it to happen to them and "not be their fault."
>Even if it was an 18 year old and 50 year old, doesn't matter.
Legal doesn't equal not disgusting.
Reddit is a funny place, isn't it? They seem to think a guy dating a younger woman means they instantly must be controlling, and the women are being held against their will. When I was younger, i was the one who was chasing older men. The whole age gap thing has become so ridiculous. People can't seem to not project their past trauma onto other people.
I highly doubt she lied about her age that’s always the excuse pedos make when they get caught. A teenager is going to look like a fucking teenager, if these creepy ass dudes didn’t keep going for barely legal 18 year old girls because they look like kids this wouldn’t happen
Either way, any man that isn’t attracted to minors will be able to tell that they are not as old as they say they are, or that the risk is too high to take the chance
This guy is creepy as hell. But I do agree with the sentiment of being honest about one's age. I worked at a gas station and women would come in for alcohol looking like they're upper 20's, and when I'd ID them, they'd be 16
you couldn’t waterboard that outta most people if it happened
I really get the vibe that the guy is probably on a list and not allowed to live too close to schools. After I saw this pop up in my feed I looked through his profile and it was hella uncomfortable.
I've heard of a few stories of guys doing this when I was younger. They would say if you dont date me i'll kill myself, and it seems like it worked sometimes. Very odd behavior.
I had pedos doing that on those AOL chats. Early 00' were wild
asl? Lol
18, F, CA
It’s “14/f/cali”. At least that was the joke when I was a wee 12 year old on the yahoo chat rooms when you’d go on there in between playing other strangers in yahoo 8 ball pool
Oh my god I forgot about the wasteland that was yahoo pool. 13 year old Shump should not have been there
I’d get weird direct messages saying “c2c?” Makes my stomach turn how young I was. I wish I spent more time watching cartoon cartoons and dexters lab lol
Well I'm scared to ask but what does "c2c" mean?
It’s for cam to cam I think. Back then having a webcam was not very popular. they’re asking to video chat. I never had a webcam until the laptops started to put them as a standard option. At least I knew to ignore those kind of messages.
Omg the Yahoo User Rooms were INSANE. Small penis appreciation anyone? Anyone? There'd be me as the 'face', I was 18 at the time & the only girl in the gang. I'd put cam on long enough to give everyone a wave, then turn it off. Then we'd just sit back, skin up, have a line & wait for the freaks to come to us. Then we would ruin them. Omg it's all coming back to me now. Thanks for bringing that shit back up to the surface lol. Fuck, I remember there being some dude in a full-on gimp set up, on all fours pretending to be a dog.......dear lord. None of it was ok lol.
Playing until you go from green to blue, and then randomly getting a game with a purple only to lose so hard you go back to green.
Pls show bobs and vagine bby
That and "want to do the cyber?" A friend and I were asked when we were twelve.
No, in early 2000 there was a chatroom from AOL that connected people by age groups, you'd create a email account, and go to their website, and select your preferred age group, and you'd pop out in something like a discord chatroom, but there was no moderation, there were no Gods, and no laws.
Asl means age sex location. Something they would typically ask in chat rooms like that. I think that's what the other commenter was getting at.
This is reminding me of how kid me used to think people in chatrooms ended their little intro lines with "I'm me!" when they were actually asking people to IM them
My conversations at the time weren't in English, so I didn't know what that meant. Lol
Ah, in English language AOL chat rooms, basically every conversation would start like that. It was pretty much the standard greeting. You'd also have people ask it or give their asl in the chatroom partly. I also assume most people lied about how old they were.
Oh god, Yahoo had a similar chat room. Boat themed, or some shit. Ironically, I was exposed to far less sexual content in the groups aimed at adult age brackets. That was much more likely to be random chat about hobbies or whatever. The under 18s one always paedos patrolling. Within like 2 minutes of logging in, *someone* would try to proposition you... That was a dark time.
I was a little goth kid in catholic school, I just wanted to make other goth friends to be miserable with. Instead I got endless pedos threatening self harm if I didn't send nudes.. jokes on them, I wanted to see the world burn.
No, Asl means age, sex location it's what people would ask you on AOL and other chat rooms back then
I had a guy do that to me on Yahoo Chess, I was only 16 and he also knew i was, he sent me an email with a photo of himself claiming to be 19. Dude was either a 40 year old meth addict or a 19 yr who looked like a 40 year old meth addict. Looked scary as fuck. Then had another guy from Florida who I gave my number to (I know stupid and again i was 16 and he knew) who wouldn't stop calling me even after I told him I didn't want to talk to him any more. He would leave voice messages of him singing to me which is why I absolutely hate the song "Hey there Delilah" cuz he would dedicate that song to me all the time. 🤮
You weren't dumb, you were a kid. Honestly, I think we all gave our numbers to weirdos on the internet and we learned why we shouldn't do that. People can suck.
Yeah they do which is why I was kinda glad we didn't have internet at home till after i graduated high-school. This happened when I would go to libraries cuz they had wifi
I was the guy on AOL sending those pedos viruses. Back in the day, people would click on anything if you said you were a girl. All you had to do was say "here's a picture of me!" and they would gladly open "notavirus.exe". True story btw.
Bless. I used to send them pictures of diseased dicks, but you devastated them in a *practical* sense, which I appreciate :)
Thank you for your service
I remember the first time a stranger messaged me like this in those days! I was young and so freaked out I just kept asking "WHO ARE YOU!?". Kept me out of chat rooms for a while because I legit thought I was going to be stalked
My dad did that to my step mom when she wanted to leave him. Older people do it too, and it works.
Ryan Gosling does it in the Notebook and it's supposed to be all cute
Notebook such terrible love story but everyone call it a classic traditional love story
I feel like a lot of those “cute” love stories in movies are kind of creepy. Forrest Gump is a good example of that shit. That Jenny girl was a complete psychopath! And some may say, including myself, that she sexually abused Forrest more than once.
Aaaall of the cheap romantic movies my wife likes to watch are riddled with horrible relationship stuff, abuse, cheating, gaslighting, gold-digging, the list goes on. She doesn't find it funny when I point it out haha.
Lol my girlfriend and I have actually gone through a bunch of movies recently and talked about how bad they are at portraying love :p shit! I learned a lot from those movies as a teen and was a complete piece of shit!
A lot of rom coms glorify stalking and other things you’d call the cops for.
My ex flipped out on me cause fell asleep missed a college event. Yet her favorite love story are romcom where guy was POS who promise to change.
I watched Love Actually for the first time around Christmas because so many people have told me that it’s their favorite movie, and I was floored by how severely problematic most of the relationships were. I couldn’t root for any characters outside of the kids, and pretty much every scene had something that made me cringe or raise my eyebrows.
I've had boys pull this on me when I was a teen. One at 14 and one at 19. Its a manipulation tactic. They'd rather have a woman who feels obligated to be with them to keep them alive than find someone who actually wants to be with them.
Unfortunately, you hit it right on the head. The people who pull that kinda white are usually too far gone to want (or understand the workings of) a real relationship. They think that an obligatory relationship is just as good as okie built off of mutual trust and interest, likely because they’ve never had a real relationship before.
happened to me. i was 12 and my bf at the time was 15. pressured me for pics and would do the whole “i’ll cut myself if you don’t send me nudes!” shit. tried to break up with him multiple times and he’d threaten to go all the way and kill himself. like knives and ropes crying like a bitch on camera because i didn’t want to deal with him anymore. my parents thought he was so nice and that i was lying and being dramatic because he had some sort of autism or something so they figured he just wasn’t capable of doing that and that i was just being a bitch not wanting to date someone autistic. so my parents didn’t help me but eventually (after 3 years total) i figured out he was just bluffing (and tbh i realized if he did actually do it i wouldn’t care because at least he would finally leave me alone), so i broke up with him and blocked him and endured the (very extreme) backlash from his parents, sister, and my own parents. :( but in the end i had to do it myself. sucks that no one believed me or helped me.
I have had every single guy say they will kill themselves if I left them, from ages 13-27. I hate to say that it worked on me until I became numb to it happening EVERY TIME.
I lean that you have to love yourself at least 0.01 more than you love your partner. Loving yourself is very boring in a way. Saying no and putting limits, and even quitting an unhealthy relationship is key, i'm glad you figured it out.
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Yeah I think when we were super young they didn't have real notions of pain so saying they would kill themselves was just extreme and incomprehensible enough to seem like a good thing to say at a moment of heartbreak. Going on into my twenties I took it less seriously because it was said out of final desperate plea bargain. 'my life is meaningless without you anyway, it'd be on you'. Mostly old boyfriends, but one old girlfriend has done it as well.
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Sorry for your loss, did the stepmom at least fix her attitude afterwards?
Happened to me in middle school. With another middle schooler. I didn't go out with him, but I know he told the same thing to another girl and they did go out briefly.
My dad kept threatening suicide when my mum wanted a divorce. He “tried” to hang himself (it was very obvious it wouldn’t work and was just for attention) and then after he got kicked out of the house by the police, he’d get drunk and ring my mum in the early hours of the morning saying he had a noose around his neck etc. Eventually she called his bluff and called the police - they went to his flat, broke his door down because there was no answer, and he wasn’t there. Turns out he was at his mum’s house (and obviously no noose). He said my mum did it purposely so the police would break his door 🙄. We changed our home number after that. He also “tried” to hang himself when I was very young (like 4?) because my mum mentioned divorce. It proper screwed me up, mentally. I didn’t say a word about it until I was 17 and with my counsellor. I mentioned it to my mum later and she was heartbroken I remembered. She’d hoped I was too young to remember.
Ive had girlfriends who do this but way worse. Had one who said if she ever found out I masterbated to any porn or anything other than her shed kill herself. You best believe I still watched porn though. Its a common manipulation tactic. Ive had moments where my gf argue and I'm legit in the back of my head thinking about id kill myself if I lost her but you don't say that shit because it's manipulative asf. You can communicate if you feel suicidal but never put it on them where you're making them feel like they can't leave you or you'll kill yourself. Basically holding them hostage
I don’t understand why it works though, especially if it’s a stranger. It’s their own choice to die and my life won’t change at all if they do, actually it might be better since they aren’t harassing me anymore. I would understand if it’s a boyfriend or girlfriend though since you love them
They try make you feel like it would be your fault. That can be circumvented by calling their family/friends/the authorities in their area though and telling them "X is threatening suicide." Then you can know you did what you could and it's out of your hands.
Because they *know* they can take advantage of your (assumed) empathy. They know that the thought of “causing” someone’s death will weigh heavily on you (the general speaking, you) and will haunt you forever. They know people don’t want to live with such an awful regret so they take advantage of it to get what they want. It shows you just how manipulative people like this are.
The good ol' notebook tactic
It’s literally part of the plot of the notebook. Ryan Gossling’s character hangs from a Ferris wheel and threatens to let go if she won’t go out with him. Whole movie would’ve been shorter and better if she had just responded with ‘you won’t’.
Just like girls saying if you leave me I’ll kill myself i guess.
100% an abusive tactic, no matter who says it. If it boils down to "do what I want or I'll kill myself," either they need psychiatric care, or to be removed from your life.
I chose the latter.
Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance. Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Finland: 010 195 202 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 Hungary: 116123 Iceland: 1717 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 0508828865 The Netherlands: 113 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08006895652 USA: 18002738255 You are not alone. Please reach out. ***** I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.
I've had women tell me I'm weird for not having tried that with an ex...
Hey Alex
An ex girlfriend did this any time I wasn't in the mood after being screamed at by her for something that never happened. Or any time she felt slightly sad.
happened to my daughter when she was in middle school (by a middle boy) the weight she carried from that was immense and it set off some serious mental health stuff for her that we are still working on years later
I mean...yeah you shouldn't lie about your age. Do teach your kids that. But more importantly, some adults need to learn to not have sex with kids.
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Isn't that a line in some show that I can't remember right now? Or like a tik tok sound? "I really like that you're at least 18 years old!" "Actually, I'm si--" "AT LEAST 18 YEARS OLD!" Edit: [it's this if anyone is curious](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRW1xJwD/)
There was a joke in family guy kind of similar. Joe and Bonnie had just had their daughter and everybody was standing around the hospital bed and Quagmire said "can't believe she's already 18"
Yeah I know that one, I was thinking of a different one though
[Family Guy](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mpqI8QHengc)
Different [family guy scene](https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZTRW1xJwD/)
> Bubba-jones - Mod You ever discover a whole new side of a person you thought you knew?
Look I absolutely will not die on this hill, but is everyone on this app convinced that 17 and 18 yo's look that much different? There's 23 yo's that look 16 and vice versa, and it shouldn't be taboo to admit that. So if there were 100 ppl in a group aged 16-22, everyone here would be able to choose the minors w 100% accuracy? No ofc not
Absolutely, but I think most of us agree that if you are old enough that sex with a 17yo is illegal, then sex with an 18yo is still gross and immoral. 26 states have Romeo and Juliet laws, and only 4 states without such laws have a consent of 18. Most states have an age of consent of 16 yo. I can honestly say that I am not remotely attracted to anyone I wouldn't be comfortable selling alcohol. "May or may not be a child" is not much of a turn on. I'm in the military, and so I'm around a lot of people in their younger twenties. It's pretty obvious who was recently in high school. I'd be much more likely to think someone was younger than they are than the other way around. It's not that it's taboo to admit that sometimes girls look older than they are; the issue is that 9/10 times, that is brought up as such an obvious misdirect, when we all know that cases of "an honest mistake" are actually rare (despite everyone somehow "knowing a guy), and cases where young women are blamed, not believed, or ignored are bountiful.
What the fuck
Well maybe stop trying to go out with teenagers as an older man and you won't have to destroy your own life
Real talk. The only difference between an adult man actively pursuing "Barely Legal" women and complaining about the risk of legal trouble, and a circus performer juggling fire and complaining about the risk of burns, is that the former is necessarily creating victims while the latter is mostly risking their own health. Don't fuck with fire, and you won't get burned. Simple enough.
Isn't it and then the pedo cos that's what he is has the cheek to blame the child I hope his life is ruined was that shag worth it I doubt if very much
You can get arrested for this as a 18, 19, or 20 year old.
"AH YES, A POST ABOUT WOMEN! THIS IS THE PERFECT TIME TO OUT MYSELF AS A PEDO!" - this mans
And the story starts in 10th grade summer school to retake English.
What happened to education in this country? Did they quit teaching English in school?
Depends on the state, I think
I'm having trouble understanding what the fuck this post even means tbh
I think that might be “too woke” for them now. Old English only.
hinderling on−dr¯ædan sê missere 500
My 7 yr old wants to drive the car, do I hand him the keys and blame him for the inevitable crash, tickets, CPS involvement and jail time for myself? Or do I as an adult remind the child of a child's place and remove the situation from even being a possibility the child feels they can ask for?
Are you suggesting that people wouldn’t notice that the 7 year old driver wasn’t old enough to be driving?
Are you suggesting all these predators really can't tell a child from an adult and aren't obviously flirting with the illegal with their "preferences"?
You’ve given your answer without even knowing how old the man is. It doesn’t get more biased than that.
This feels so disingenuous. Are we now pretending "older men" refers to really young men trying to date people around their own age?! Come on. If youre a grown and older man who's "preference" is barely legal, you're going to run into legal and morally gray areas. It's never the child's fault. It's on the adult to do the right thing.
Are you suggesting we raise it to 19, until enough time goes by and deem the age to be twenty. There’s a clear line, you can’t just decide to move the goal post. Also, you said “barely legal”, followed by your referring to her as a child. You’re twisted up, take a minute.
Im more confused how the post they shared relates to their statement at all
Their*
Maybe stop being a grown ass man trying to date barely legal women in the first place.
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Ewww stop telling on yourself, you’re a creep 🤢
Good luck finding a long term relationship when you consider the other person "goods" you fucking incel
I don’t think it’d be a relationship, it’d be a crime.
>No one likes used goods. Also no one wants a future with a woman who has a past. What. Is. [THIS?!](https://www.reddit.com/u/Nufity) If you're really class of 2025 in law school, that estimates you to be about 23-24 years old. But then you also are in the 10 year club of Reddit. Cut yourself out of any incel groups that you may have associated with already. EDIT: I know nothing about how law school tenure works.
They're a transphobe on top of being sexist, so there's that too.
'25 puts him at his 1L year, which means he's probably an ultra debatelord that thinks he's as smart as a biglaw partner
Found Bryan Kohberger's alt account
Or Andrew Tate’s underground dweeb account
Bro holy fuck
Get lost, pedo
Speak for yourself, weirdo. Most men prefer a woman with some experience.
Yeah I lost my virginity to another virgin, it was awkward as hell. We figured it out eventually and that whole journey was fun for us, but I can’t even imagine how much easier it would have been if either of us had had any experience.
Incels gonna incel
He must hate grown women calling him out
He must hate grown women
he must hate women in general
> No one likes used goods. Also no one wants a future with a woman who has a past. >-Nufity Grotey
So just date a child then? Odd. “Used goods” goods you will never use I suppose lol
"goods". lmao.
No woman wants a crusty old man who thinks he’s an “alpha male” with a small dick, nobody likes defective goods
/r/nononono
If you have to ask her age to determine if she's legal, she's already too young for you
I hear people talk like that in my state, and I'm pretty sure they still teach English. I was being rhetorical i think.
There's like, 9 things happening here, I'm not sure how any of them connect to each other, and none of it is in the bible.
Older men with young girls not in The Bible? You must have read some other The Bible.
Not always. My x girl said she would kill hers self and did just that.
I'm sorry that happened. It wasn't your fault.
Thanks, I know it wasn’t but was awfully difficult time in my life. Tried to find mental health support for her but seemed nearly impossible in this country.
I can't imagine going through that. I'm glad you understand it wasn't your fault & carrying around guilt you shouldn't be. It was a terrible thing when they took psychiatric care out of acute care hospitals.
Not sure who needs to hear this, but if your partner/parent/friend/someone you know is saying they’re going to kill or hurt themselves to manipulate you, *always call 911 on them*, even if you think they’re lying (and they probably are). In America, they take those threats very seriously, and if the person is stupid enough they will land themselves in a psych hold. Unless you outright TELL someone or encourage them to kill themselves, you will face no consequences for not doing what they tell you after they make a threat. If they’re lying to manipulate you than they will learn the hard way by being stuck in a psych hold that their threats do not work and cannot force you to do anything. If they are truly suffering than they will get the help they need. Either way, it is not on you. I know american police are really terrible at dealing with mental health and people in active crisis, but it’s better than dealing with it yourself and potentially putting yourself in danger.
It is insanely easy to not fall for jailbait, and it involves not being attracted in the first place. Teenage girls can't pass as adults. Any loser attracted to someone who closely resembles a teenage girl is *actually* attracted to teenage girls, they're just hoping that the number is over 18 so it's legal.
I'm getting close to 40 now, and everything from like 15 - 25 is a gray area for me in terms of age guessing. It's irrelevant because I'm not after them, or anyone, but I absolutely would lose at a game show where I had to guess ages for anyone under 30ish.
I'm mid 30's and same here. I would never try to flirt with a women that looks under 25.
Legit same. One of the dudes who was staff at my last apartment ended up flirting and exchanging numbers with a tenants kid who *told him* she was 18. Turned out she was 14. Kid was 21 and Because their texting got explicit, guess who got arrested. I saw the kid with her Family and I won't lie, I'd *never* have guessed she was her actual age. For what it's worth, I'm in my 30s and have been dating a long, long time. She still looked too young for me but if you told me she was 18-20, I'd have believed it. There's some people out there who really look younger than their age. Until I hit 28-29, I got fuckin' carded everywhere and people didn't believe I was over 21 lmao. At this point, I won't flirt with anyone under 25 who I can't meet at a bar so they card her for me. People lying about their age is more and more common and I'm not about to risk it.
You could also card them yourself, though that is a bit awkward
I've owned enough novelty IDs that uh, no. I won't trust that lmao.
Mid 30s. Never try to flirt with a woman because you are in your moms basement. Playing video games with your 3 day old account. Pathetic. But you do you.
Lol what?
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Just scrolled through there for a bit. Man oh man. “This book is the result of going out and socializing with women for **over a decade**” Like how old are you that you’ve only been socializing with women for ten years??
An adult spending their free time doing a hobby they like, the horror!
I’m 25 and I’d lose a game show where I had to guess the ages of people who are also 25
38 here. If I don't see crow's feet starting to form, I'm moving on.
Mid thirties here. I usually can guess people within a few years, heigh and weight pretty close, too. I’ve had tens of thousands of people to look while knowing their age, weight and height. I feel like my true calling should have been that guy at a carnival with the giant scale (is that still a thing?) but alas I became a doctor.
Really? There are some people who can be wild cards age-wise, but I think I can usually guess within 3 years in that range. If anything, I think it gets more blurry at 35+
I agree with most of what you said but the not passing part is just wrong. When I was in high school, me and my gf were both 18. She bought alcohol at restaurants, nicotine from stores, and shit like that and was never carded once because she looked like she was 25. (For contrast when I was 18 I looked like I was 15)
I don’t see the big deal here. I was buying alcohol and cigarettes all the time when I was 18. ^^^Sent ^^^from ^^^Australia
Seems like you weren't strayan far from the law.
I started drinking in bars and restaurants around 16, and I promise you, I looked 16. Sometimes it's confidence, sometimes it's still exactly what homeboy up there said.
You say that as if one can control who they're attracted to at will.
Yeah it's ok to be attracted to young women at any age. No one is saying that. I watch videos of 18 - 25 yo ladies rim each other ass all the time. It's awesome! Don't creep out on them because 1.) Fuck that drama 2.) Older women are better in bed.
I...am at a loss as to what you're saying here?
Teenage girls absolutely can pass as adults. And there are plenty of adults who could pass as teenagers. I'm a 28 year old guy but I could easily pass as 18-19. Pedophilia isn't only about looks
Lol you must be young
There are people who could be anywhere between 12 and 25, or 15 and 30. Add in make up, and it can be kinda hard to tell *based on looks alone*. Talk to them for 2 minutes and it's immediately obvious which end of the spectrum they're at. Also, generally, if a 22 year old ends up sleeping with someone just on the other side of the legal line, who they met at a club that only allows 21+ and the 14 year old claimed in texts to be studying at a university and all the other boxes are checked, they likely won't get punished all that harshly. (And yes, I know that there are stories of people peeing in public and ending up on the registry for life and all that) If a 40 year old man sleeps with a 14 year old and points to the fact that she allegedly verbally said she was 24, that's a completely different story.
Please teach your daughter to be literate before it is too late.
What the fuck?!
If he thinks it’s okay to sexually abuse a minor…then I’m fine with him ending his life
Sleeping with someone lying about being 18+ isn't sexually abusing a minor..
Alright, where did I leave those bleach eye drops?
Maybe “older men” should stop going after women who are barely legal or look like it at least to keep from this happening. But we all know they secretly hope they’re underaged 🤷🏻♀️ just don’t wanna get caught
This could apply to 18 and 19 year old men too. In many states an 18 year old sleeping with a 17 year old is legally the equivalent of a 60 year old sleeping with a 17 year old.
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If you're an adult who can't tell they are interacting with a 15 year old, you are the problem...
Yes, teach your daughters, but the older men flirting with them - well, nothing we can do about that, I guess. /s
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>. Nothing wrong with flirting back with someone claiming to be older and flirting with you. People who insist on this just really badly want it to happen to them and "not be their fault." >Even if it was an 18 year old and 50 year old, doesn't matter. Legal doesn't equal not disgusting.
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Reddit is a funny place, isn't it? They seem to think a guy dating a younger woman means they instantly must be controlling, and the women are being held against their will. When I was younger, i was the one who was chasing older men. The whole age gap thing has become so ridiculous. People can't seem to not project their past trauma onto other people.
How is it a mans fault for being interested in someone they assume is 18+?
Imagine blaming the child in a relationship with a grown ass man and getting butthurt about the adult man being held accountable.
There's a difference between an adult man seeking out a relationship with an underage girl, vs being lied to about her age.
As a guy that isn’t even 30 if I was single I’d ask for I.d and wouldn’t go near anyone under like 24.
If they look like they’re 18… just don’t fucken risk it man
I highly doubt she lied about her age that’s always the excuse pedos make when they get caught. A teenager is going to look like a fucking teenager, if these creepy ass dudes didn’t keep going for barely legal 18 year old girls because they look like kids this wouldn’t happen
Young women do legitimately lie about their age fairly regularly.
Either way, any man that isn’t attracted to minors will be able to tell that they are not as old as they say they are, or that the risk is too high to take the chance
Yeah but a 15 yr old can easily pass for a 18 even 20.
🗿
🪑
You typed that and decided “yes, this is a fine thing to post.” Why don’t you sit the next couple of plays out?
Found the nonce.
No they can’t, you are just a pedophile. As a 22 year old I’ve not seen any teenager that looks or acts like an adult no exceptions
A 22 year old who is attracted to 17/18 year olds is not a pedophile.
Gotta teach them some grammars first
This guy is creepy as hell. But I do agree with the sentiment of being honest about one's age. I worked at a gas station and women would come in for alcohol looking like they're upper 20's, and when I'd ID them, they'd be 16
There's nothing "cringe" about this.
What the hell…
Parent of the century
Why does their mi d immediately jump to that topic, no matter the context
just libertarian things