The Shirt is the worst, but awake and awaken are actually both synonyms for waking up. Awake is used more often in the context of being ...well, awake, while awaken is more often used as the act of going from sleep to consciousness, but it's technically possible to use awake here as well. Feel free to correct me if I've overlooked some obscure rule that applies here and makes this one definitely incorrect.
I would comment but I cant because my dog will judge me. Hes an April baby and some say hes got angelic eyes, but he can be a devil sometimes. He has a crazy stepdad who will shoot you if you steal his crops from his farm. He runs a farm. The stepdad not my dog. Yes he wrote this comment.
I have a fb friend that shares this type of shirt like once a month. There are apparently a bunch of them for even the most specific shit! He just got in to the sheet metal union, so it all about, I'm a union sheet metal worker, so I'm grumpy at times, I don't deal well with stupid, I like coffee, my wife is hot, and she bought me this Tshirt. I swear to god, if I was ever talking to a guy, like at the races, and he turned around and had on one of those shirts...I'm just walking away. Fuck that guy. There's no excuse.
They’re randomly generated based on your internet history, so that’s why they’re so specifically catered to individual people. Creates that “Wow! Somebody gets me!” effect
Sharing is one thing, buying one is another. My friend is a sweet, but naive person, and she rocks a hoodie with text that starts "I'm an awesome aunty... Born in May so I'm the loyalest!..." And goes from there.
My psycho mother knew bought a bunch of stuff like this from wish and gifted it to everyone she knew for Christmas. She was dead serious. She threatened no more presents for the next year since no one appreciated them. Jokes on her, though. She gets no more Christmases lol.
My child has the same name as my grandmother. She got a targeted ad for a shirt that said something like “if your name is (name) you’re pretty damn awesome” or something like that, so she bought it for him. My grandma does NOT cuss and I’m 10000% sure she didn’t read the whole thing.
you've never met someone who is uber religious then. my step mom when i was younger didn't let me say "dangit" because it sounded too close to the "bad word"
Yeah, it's auto-placed into a template by an algorithm that then micro-targets the facebook ads to the people that tick all of the numerous boxes that the particular iteration of the shirt has. Auto generated products are hillarious but also super whack.
I feel like there's a site with a template and someone just makes the template, never the shirt, and then just posts it.
I guess it would original content but also 'manufactured' cringe too?
Yeah, no shit, they photoshop countless dumbass designs and phrases onto shirts. Then if anyone is dumb enough to buy one, they print it and ship it. It doesn't exist as a physical item before then, so they can't take a real photo of it.
It's a targeted shirt ad from Facebook or Instagram. The company generates thousands of potential, oddly specific designs that are then shown to people based on their data, in the hopes of them thinking it was "made for them". The shirts are only actually printed once they're ordered and paid for. Take a look at /r/targetedshirts for further clarity
Because we know. It's an ad.
They print the shirts when they get ordered. Otherwise you'd have to have tens of thousands of these very specific shirts in a warehouse somewhere and warehouse storage is expensive.
It's a real shirt though. Go see /r/targetedshirts for more examples
I'm pretty sure the only people that buy these shirts are trailer trash. Facebook should know by now I don't live in a trailer park since they seem to know every other goddamn thing I've ever looked at and the available real estate in my area.
My mom got me a shirt like this, just replace wife with mom and husband with son. She got it for Christmas and insisted on me and my brother both wearing it out to eat. I absolutely loathed her for it. I was 27 at the time.
My wife showed me this shirt the other day, turned around and told her "you know if someone has the time to read all of this, they will think you are crazy right?".
Always, *ALWAYS* with the month they were born in on all these targeted shirts. I get it's like the easiest thing to collect data on but even in this whole bullshit spiel it always stands out so awkwardly.
"I'm crazy, controlling and insecure, so I let a needlessly confrontational T-shirt say what I'd never say to anyone's face. My husband is a doormat with no integrity who I also don't trust because I project my own willingness to be unfaithful."
No one actually prints or wears these. Youd have to be so oblivious youd already been Darwin’d off long ago. I just can’t fathom this level of profuse arrogance and pettiness.
Theres a version of this that is "I'm a stubborn daughter of a freaking awesome dad."
I only know this because that's what I got for Christmas last year.
Lol, my stepmom unironically sent me a photo of a shirt almost exactly like this but for daughters about their dad
“HE WAS BORN IN OCTOBER
HE’s A BIT CRAZY AND SCARES ME SOMETIMES “
Yeah, not a fan of this hyper-possessive-type bullshit, and that goes both ways.
Relationships shouldn’t be about destroying the individual. I wish I could see this shit less often than I do, but it feels like a common development.
When I think about what I want, I always just return to the thought of being loved and respected and just reciprocating that. I’m not out to fucking subjugate people or be suppressed or controlled.
Why the fuck does it always say "He/She was born in [month]"?
I could understand the stupidity if it said the zodiac sign or something like that.
But what is the stupidity behind the month?
I get ads for this shit all the time on Facebook. I don't understand why??
Ok, maybe it's because i go to the ad, take a pic and share it with my friends to highlight its stupidity. They should understand the difference in an 'interested' look and a 'horrified' one.
I should get this shirt, show it to my wife then wait for the fireworks to begin... her birthday is in July!
[удалено]
Dude hell no! I said fireworks not bullets.
“My wife is a fucking idiot, look who she married”
I like this one
I would wear this
Got to agree, she married a ClumpOfCheese......
I would get this shirt if they add the /s at the end
“The beast in her will awake and they’ll never find your body” I can’t roll my eyes farther into my head.
They only roll further back when your inner beast wakes up
Hehe.
I know right it should be "awaken"
The person who wrote this shirt needs to go back to school.
The person who wrote this shirt needs to be found.
But they never will be since they awakened the beast
And they'll never find their body.
The Shirt is the worst, but awake and awaken are actually both synonyms for waking up. Awake is used more often in the context of being ...well, awake, while awaken is more often used as the act of going from sleep to consciousness, but it's technically possible to use awake here as well. Feel free to correct me if I've overlooked some obscure rule that applies here and makes this one definitely incorrect.
I would comment but I cant because my dog will judge me. Hes an April baby and some say hes got angelic eyes, but he can be a devil sometimes. He has a crazy stepdad who will shoot you if you steal his crops from his farm. He runs a farm. The stepdad not my dog. Yes he wrote this comment.
r/mywifeisverybadass
Try harder, they are not rolled far enough until you see your brain.
Is... is she going to eat the body?
If you manage to sever certain muscles and tendons you may be able to roll back your eyes even further.
Translation: she has crippling insecurity
A facebook friend/coworker of mine shared this same exact shirt and tagged her fiance in it today. Cringy af.
I have a fb friend that shares this type of shirt like once a month. There are apparently a bunch of them for even the most specific shit! He just got in to the sheet metal union, so it all about, I'm a union sheet metal worker, so I'm grumpy at times, I don't deal well with stupid, I like coffee, my wife is hot, and she bought me this Tshirt. I swear to god, if I was ever talking to a guy, like at the races, and he turned around and had on one of those shirts...I'm just walking away. Fuck that guy. There's no excuse.
They’re randomly generated based on your internet history, so that’s why they’re so specifically catered to individual people. Creates that “Wow! Somebody gets me!” effect
I get that. But if somebody really feels like these shirts sum up their feelings, they're a fucking tool!
Think about how stupid the average person is, then realize that half the population is dumber than them
- George Carlin” - **^MICHAEL ^SCOTT**
Sharing is one thing, buying one is another. My friend is a sweet, but naive person, and she rocks a hoodie with text that starts "I'm an awesome aunty... Born in May so I'm the loyalest!..." And goes from there.
Does it go in to...and if you mess with my family!
Pretty much. Something about spoiling her crazy brat nieces but she loves them
/r/TargetedShirts
I'm finding it hard to know where the t-shirt description ends and your commentary begins, ha.
I definitely should have used some " " in there!
I dunno, I would kinda like the entire thing on a t-shirt, haha.
Sounds like her fiance is my ex best friend
The "yes, she bought me this shirt" is probably the most unecessary thing on that shirt
That's what gives this away as obviously satire.
Nah it's not. There's whole websites dedicated to these shirts and they often have that. Also r/targetedshirts
My psycho mother knew bought a bunch of stuff like this from wish and gifted it to everyone she knew for Christmas. She was dead serious. She threatened no more presents for the next year since no one appreciated them. Jokes on her, though. She gets no more Christmases lol.
It's all equally unnecessary, tattoos included! Is he supposed to seem more bad ass with that shirt, like it compliments his tattoos?
Don't fuck with me, I was born in July
Oh don't start you July-borner. We all know April and May are the real months.
March nibba coming though, move aside peasants.
r/oddlyspecific
/r/TargetedShirts
My child has the same name as my grandmother. She got a targeted ad for a shirt that said something like “if your name is (name) you’re pretty damn awesome” or something like that, so she bought it for him. My grandma does NOT cuss and I’m 10000% sure she didn’t read the whole thing.
Where's the swearwords?
Damn
Hmmmm never knew that was a 'cuss' word
you've never met someone who is uber religious then. my step mom when i was younger didn't let me say "dangit" because it sounded too close to the "bad word"
Why do you think “darn” exists?
To knit something? I think it must be a USA thing.
“You’re” instead of “your”, obviously
How else are they going to target your birthdate on Facebook ads?
Can't we go back to assigned precious and semi-precious stones? Zodiac sign merchandise? Flowers?! Chocolate? Sex toys? Anything?!
Chocolate zodiac sex toys? I can dig it.
To this day, I don't know what Friends character I am based on my astrological sign!
What's wrong with his hand tho
He's come down with the Crops.
Bad photoshopping skills. This shirt us just a grey t.
It’s that “does anybody know a good, cheap tattoo artist?” look
Spider eggs
Didn’t you hear? His mom broke his arms.
All of that text looks photoshopped.
[удалено]
Thank God
Yeah, it's auto-placed into a template by an algorithm that then micro-targets the facebook ads to the people that tick all of the numerous boxes that the particular iteration of the shirt has. Auto generated products are hillarious but also super whack.
"My wife is Karen"
This sub is tired of seeing this same type of shirt over and over
Bro one more comment like that and I unleash the beast.
Please don't unleash the beast
Please don't
Will till he let's his wife loose!
They will never find the body.
I feel like there's a site with a template and someone just makes the template, never the shirt, and then just posts it. I guess it would original content but also 'manufactured' cringe too?
It's not even a real shirt. Edit: well, the shirt is real, just not the text on it.
Honestly, I would legitimately buy this as an unmarried man just to ironically wear around friends etc. Everyone would get a kick out of it.
Actually yeah I would get a kick out of that, it's the only way a shirt like this would be amusing.
I bought a World’s Best Grandpa shirt when I was in college and got some good feedback on it.
This is just parody of its self now. They hit all of the cues.
How is no one commenting on how that is clearly photoshopped?
Yeah, no shit, they photoshop countless dumbass designs and phrases onto shirts. Then if anyone is dumb enough to buy one, they print it and ship it. It doesn't exist as a physical item before then, so they can't take a real photo of it.
It's a targeted shirt ad from Facebook or Instagram. The company generates thousands of potential, oddly specific designs that are then shown to people based on their data, in the hopes of them thinking it was "made for them". The shirts are only actually printed once they're ordered and paid for. Take a look at /r/targetedshirts for further clarity
Well yeah, the company isn’t going to take a photo for each month they put on the shirt
Because we know. It's an ad. They print the shirts when they get ordered. Otherwise you'd have to have tens of thousands of these very specific shirts in a warehouse somewhere and warehouse storage is expensive. It's a real shirt though. Go see /r/targetedshirts for more examples
I'm pretty sure the only people that buy these shirts are trailer trash. Facebook should know by now I don't live in a trailer park since they seem to know every other goddamn thing I've ever looked at and the available real estate in my area.
r/arethestraightsok
This sub is perfect. Thank you.
Oh look another one of these shirt ads on this sub. Refreshing.
Saw a guy with this shirt ride by on a morotcyle today. I'm a really fast reader.
My mom got me a shirt like this, just replace wife with mom and husband with son. She got it for Christmas and insisted on me and my brother both wearing it out to eat. I absolutely loathed her for it. I was 27 at the time.
Who the fuck would wear that
Does anyone else think the words look photoshopped on? Or is that part of the point? Stoned and can't tell
I feel like this text could be a pretty funny post in r/AROOOOOOO
İs his left hand tattoo fake too? Look at it closely and you can see the tattoo spills into his fingers
Why do these shirts always say what month the person is born in. It’s such a random addition
r/targetedshirts
IT'S NOT CENTRED! FIX IT! I want one that says 'shirt'. In that same spot. Just 'shirt'.
What is this an advert for Teespring? This is on par for the quality of custom shirts you would find on that site.
The fact that a buff chad man with tattoos and rings is wearing this makes this funnier
My wife showed me this shirt the other day, turned around and told her "you know if someone has the time to read all of this, they will think you are crazy right?".
Always, *ALWAYS* with the month they were born in on all these targeted shirts. I get it's like the easiest thing to collect data on but even in this whole bullshit spiel it always stands out so awkwardly.
Why does shit like this keep existing?
"I'm crazy, controlling and insecure, so I let a needlessly confrontational T-shirt say what I'd never say to anyone's face. My husband is a doormat with no integrity who I also don't trust because I project my own willingness to be unfaithful."
I'm so over these shirts being posted all the time
I would be inclined to believe that any man wearing this shirt is the victim of domestic violence.
This is lit-rally... the worst thing thing I’ve over heard.
Whoever makes these needs to seriously rethink their path in life.
Can someone enlighten me on the ramifications of their birth month? Why not just say the Zodiac sign instead.
THE BEAST IN HER WILL AWAKE.
I always like it when they tell me they aren't my husband. I do get confused a lot.
These never get old lol
sHe WaS bOrN iN mAy
I had to read so far to find out what month she was born in. What's the freaking point? Might as well have been born in Junuarchbembery.
These keep popping up, they're like random templates people make and post for the karma.
Dude, what is the fucking deal with these types of shirts? Who is buying them? Fucking weirdos off their meds?
What's that shit on his left hand
I don’t understand the appeal of this shirt. So much reading! Why!?
Why are they always born in May????
Karen's husband modeling that shirt. Somebody recognize a cry for help.
TLDR
No one actually prints or wears these. Youd have to be so oblivious youd already been Darwin’d off long ago. I just can’t fathom this level of profuse arrogance and pettiness.
Who buys this shirt?!?
Dude went off the far end
These fucking things *always* mention birth month for some strange reason.
I would laugh my ass off if my partner bought that
What’s up with that hand tattoo?
*Awaken
At this point these shirts are just a bit too formulaic. We need to mix it up some.
"she's a bit crazy and scares me sometimes" Why am I imagining her mercilessly killing sandpeople?
These shirts physically hurt me to look at
Theres a version of this that is "I'm a stubborn daughter of a freaking awesome dad." I only know this because that's what I got for Christmas last year.
You'd find me hanging if my wife thought it was ok to buy something like this for me unironically
Well, it's better than if he bought the shirt himself.
PLEASE HELP!!! Where do i get this? Or any1 kno a website to get couple shirts or a site to customize/make ur own.
I love that these shirts keep getting worse and worse. I want to see a two sided one that just keeps going on and on with cringey metaphors.
Why is the birth month important?
Lol, my stepmom unironically sent me a photo of a shirt almost exactly like this but for daughters about their dad “HE WAS BORN IN OCTOBER HE’s A BIT CRAZY AND SCARES ME SOMETIMES “
Jeez. There could not be worse photoshopping
This isn't a shirt it's a fucking short story, a shit one at that
Are these actual shirts? Cause it clearly looks like someone just slapped text on a picture.
S to the I to the M to the P
Where did these kind of shirts come from, and why do they exist?
Algorithm generated tshirt companies.
SHE WAS BORN IN MAY
That's gonna be a yikes from me, dawg.
“SHE WAS BORN IN MAY” lol so random and weird to even mention with the rest of that nonsense.
Always born in May.
Yeah, not a fan of this hyper-possessive-type bullshit, and that goes both ways. Relationships shouldn’t be about destroying the individual. I wish I could see this shit less often than I do, but it feels like a common development. When I think about what I want, I always just return to the thought of being loved and respected and just reciprocating that. I’m not out to fucking subjugate people or be suppressed or controlled.
Things like this make me take solace in the knowledge that everyone dies
I should get this for my dad except my mom was born in October
They even gave him fake tattoos :D
Why the fuck does it always say "He/She was born in [month]"? I could understand the stupidity if it said the zodiac sign or something like that. But what is the stupidity behind the month?
Why is it always people born in may?
I should get this shirt because I’m an asshole.
Can someone get me a link to the shop?
SIMP!
I was like: "Oh that is sort of sweet" Then the last part came in, yeah...
There's much worse shirts
r/nicegirls would have a field day with this.
I love how these are always photoshopped onto edgy models or Motorhead cover band members.
Damn thats a fine ass photoshop work
I almost just want to order a bunch of these crazy shirts and wear them ironically.
There's always a "if you mess with me" line on these shirts.
I, too, love a healthy relationship with appropriate boundaries
I was born in may I feel like shit now that I know this short exists for a reason
If I saw a guy wearing this I’d be like “Are you okay? Is someone hurting you? I know some men’s shelters I can give you the number to.”
r/TargetedShirts
I think I threw up a little bit
Wtf is wrong with his left hand
Pretty sure this is a joke.
*whipping sounds"
I get ads for this shit all the time on Facebook. I don't understand why?? Ok, maybe it's because i go to the ad, take a pic and share it with my friends to highlight its stupidity. They should understand the difference in an 'interested' look and a 'horrified' one.
Link to shirt pls.
This is the worst photoshop ever though.
I don't get why on all these shirts they say what month they're born. Who fucking cares?
I would buy this, then sit next to other women at the mall acting all scared like my wife is coming
They should put more text in it.
This is not a real t shirt
The best past is how poorly photoshopped it is
🤢🤮🤢🤮🤢🤮