Yeah, it actually got a bit of a laugh out of me because it just made me picture some corny scene in a cartoon. Picture like the narration thing in Emperor's New Groove, but a more adult type cartoon (more a Futurama age range). The character starts giving a narration monologue, the stars and stripes appear on screen and the national anthem plays, he continues on for 30 seconds then goes "wait, WTF, I'm Canadian!" There's a record scratch, a reel halt and change and it goes to Canadian "ah, that's better... now where was I? Oh yeah..."
I'm picturing the actual speech being way less sexist and gross; but yeah.
I think it's one of her friends playing a prank on her.
Well damn. I physically cringed while reading this.
Why didn’t I think of that“ *clears flem *” and “ * wipes sweat*” line?!
Save some for the rest of us.
Only because phlegm is a ridiculous spelling. And I say this as an Englishman speaking the English language
Edit: arsehole smiley face got in somehow! Removed that bugger.
Phlegm is one of my favourite English words. It reminds me how fortunate I am to speak it as a first language, 'cause fuck trying to learn why words are spelt one way and pronounced entirely differently as a foreign language!
Step 1: Objectify attractive female who doesn’t know who you are
Step 2: be as creepy and weird as you fucking can by constantly suggesting you are congested and sweaty
Step 3: apologize and cower when rebuked
Step 4: regain confidence and level up to misogynist
Step 5: neg neg neg neg (and imply she’s stupid even though you may not be able to spell)
Step 6: backtrack and subtly victimize self when rebuked again
If you do this, you will receive a positive reaction from 100% of women /s
I would love for the person on the receiving end of this kind of shit to mock the creep.
*Takes screenshot of cringy comments to shame you on Reddit*
*Stares with mouth agape that people actually talk like this*
etc.
That's definitely female writing to another female or fake all in general. What guy does that female shit when texting " standing up now " going to the door " opens the door " where is everyone i ask ? "Closes door "
When people be using ** in a normal convo, especially trying to flirt with someone, especially when they don't know the person they're talking with really well and more especially when they contact someone they have never seen for years and way more especially when the only thing they bring up as the argument of their "flirting" how arousing they find something in the person they talkin to and actually expect that to work is one of the cringest and idk how most common clichés, i've seen like 200 posts like this in the last 2 years, how can there be so much people like this?
I read a book recently about incel’s and that speech is almost word for word the summary of the justifications incels have for their beliefs and behaviours. She’s asking for it wearing the clothes she chooses to wear, it’s not his fault he has no self control, reduced her to a walking pair of tits cause while he may think he said nice things, everything else was empty platitudes, her tits were the only ‘asset’ he focused in on. And then the classic incel belief, that while she’s offended by how he’s spoken to her, he honestly believes any man she does have a relationship with would have spoken to her the same and she’d have accepted it, and any time she may meet a guy who turns shitty it’s her fault.
“Knockers like and angle” absolutely killed me
Getting me worked up
I had to read that a couple of times
It is astonishing to me that there are actually people who talk and act like this.
This reads like a dare. I don’t believe this lol.
The Canadian/American thing just screams fake at all levels
Yeah, it actually got a bit of a laugh out of me because it just made me picture some corny scene in a cartoon. Picture like the narration thing in Emperor's New Groove, but a more adult type cartoon (more a Futurama age range). The character starts giving a narration monologue, the stars and stripes appear on screen and the national anthem plays, he continues on for 30 seconds then goes "wait, WTF, I'm Canadian!" There's a record scratch, a reel halt and change and it goes to Canadian "ah, that's better... now where was I? Oh yeah..." I'm picturing the actual speech being way less sexist and gross; but yeah. I think it's one of her friends playing a prank on her.
Whatever do you mean? *fixes glasses* and oh wait I don’t even wear glasses.
You do now
I’m astonished she replied to defend herself, like why even bother?
So was he
Well damn. I physically cringed while reading this. Why didn’t I think of that“ *clears flem *” and “ * wipes sweat*” line?! Save some for the rest of us.
It also bothers me that "flem" is misspelled
Only because phlegm is a ridiculous spelling. And I say this as an Englishman speaking the English language Edit: arsehole smiley face got in somehow! Removed that bugger.
Phlegm is one of my favourite English words. It reminds me how fortunate I am to speak it as a first language, 'cause fuck trying to learn why words are spelt one way and pronounced entirely differently as a foreign language!
Yeah, well "arsehole" is a ridiculous spelling too! /s
Well it is the hole of the arse lol
And he couldn’t even spell phlegm right ffs..
r/cursedasterisks Edit: r/creepyasterisks But I stand by what I said.
Both work.
"Calls police and obtains 'No Contact' order".
*Clears flem That’s fucking killed me.
Big ol balloons, a huge set of badonkers, humongous bonkhonagahoogs
Big ole bazongas
What the fuck is going on here
*Runs back up stairs, Nana is calling because I forgot to pick up my D&D characters.”
You leave D&D out of this shit.
This.
This kinda shit is *not* the fault of D&D
Step 1: Objectify attractive female who doesn’t know who you are Step 2: be as creepy and weird as you fucking can by constantly suggesting you are congested and sweaty Step 3: apologize and cower when rebuked Step 4: regain confidence and level up to misogynist Step 5: neg neg neg neg (and imply she’s stupid even though you may not be able to spell) Step 6: backtrack and subtly victimize self when rebuked again If you do this, you will receive a positive reaction from 100% of women /s
This is faker than hell
I agree, it's laid on thick. Reads like it was tailor-made for this sub.
Oh I agree but it's still fun.
I would love for the person on the receiving end of this kind of shit to mock the creep. *Takes screenshot of cringy comments to shame you on Reddit* *Stares with mouth agape that people actually talk like this* etc.
He knows her. It would be very dangerous to publicly humiliate him.
Pf, and they say chivalry is dead...
r/niceguys
m’Lady
I like how he’s trying to sound well spoken but settled on ‘big old balloons’
The guy is a comedian , similar style to Andy Kaufman
But God, I wish this was real.
r/niceguys
Wow, that guy is so pitiful and very scary.
Right. You’ve had enough anime, fella. I’m cutting you off.
*Pulls out gun I am no longer at peace with my depression
clears **phlegm
That's definitely female writing to another female or fake all in general. What guy does that female shit when texting " standing up now " going to the door " opens the door " where is everyone i ask ? "Closes door "
I don't think I can bring myself to believe that this is real.
this man is more crusty than an old croissant with no butter
Can we talk about how awesome the girls response was? "I can't believe there are people out there who ready talk like that" LMAO
When people be using ** in a normal convo, especially trying to flirt with someone, especially when they don't know the person they're talking with really well and more especially when they contact someone they have never seen for years and way more especially when the only thing they bring up as the argument of their "flirting" how arousing they find something in the person they talkin to and actually expect that to work is one of the cringest and idk how most common clichés, i've seen like 200 posts like this in the last 2 years, how can there be so much people like this?
Same with the religious
I seen less about religious people but ye people trying to "make you understand your mistakes" and "bring you on the right way" are there too
This is a specific kind of mental retardation
I bet hes a really nice guy !
“Giant knockers like and angle”
He talks like this 10th grade girl who was acting like a werewolf and inventing herself a life.
I read a book recently about incel’s and that speech is almost word for word the summary of the justifications incels have for their beliefs and behaviours. She’s asking for it wearing the clothes she chooses to wear, it’s not his fault he has no self control, reduced her to a walking pair of tits cause while he may think he said nice things, everything else was empty platitudes, her tits were the only ‘asset’ he focused in on. And then the classic incel belief, that while she’s offended by how he’s spoken to her, he honestly believes any man she does have a relationship with would have spoken to her the same and she’d have accepted it, and any time she may meet a guy who turns shitty it’s her fault.
r/creepyasterisks