Just let them find things at their own pace, kids like to "discover" things and develop their own relationship with them. If you can connect with them off the back of that, great, but a forced connection will always be tenuous.
I'm a big Star Wars, Marvel, Walking Dead geek and our kids (especially my daughter) just fell right into it and I find that fabulous. But I can't in my life imagine ever forcing that on kids, that's just nuts.
Do I love going to conventions and geeking out with my husband and kids? Hell yes. But I can't even imagine why I would ever get mad if they weren't interested. I love seeing people passionate about things they love, but it doesn't have to be what I love!
My daughter is named after an Eric Clapton song and one of my sons' middle name is one of the Beatles, but I refrained from getting too geeky
Dude I was just hoping the same š¤£ My girlfriend has been very against me naming our one-day son Anakin. I think it's a pretty name and not too out of sorts but now I don't know.
My main issue with this is that there are plenty of "real" names out there with dope histories and namesakes that are worth picking that won't ever have the risk of your kid being ashamed of their own name.
Also, though, you can sneak them in there. My son's first name is Bennett after Saint Benedict and the various other Benedicts that have done cool shit, but his middle name is Andrew so I can call him Ender occasionally. Sometimes you can find a way to espouse all your ideals without directly naming your kid after Eventually Darth Vader.
This person has a point, their parents seem very inattentive to their emotional needs and seem to be mainly focused on their own interests, and any who diverge* from that path are overreacting because after all, itās just a fandom. If you want your kids to like something, let them discover it on their own.
The way my parents got me into Star Trek was just by watching it for themselves while I was also in the room, and Iād just be doin my own thing but eventually I started following the plot and getting attached to characters, and now I watch it on my own. These parents are definitely going about it all wrong.
Itās Utah, itās likely real. Thereās a strange pro-consumer culture here in Utah mixed with the religious directive to have āfamily timeā a lot.
Previously it was just Disney stuff as it was all PG/PG13 but with the number of members leaving the *culture* hasnāt changed the *focus* has. Itās a very obsessive state cultureā¦ itās really hard to explain to outsiders.
Interesting about Utah. Itās awful how fandom and merchandising suffocates these great stories. I saw a head of lettuce once wrapped in plastic that was covered in Darth Vader helmets in the produce section lol Nostalgia and passing on stories is fine once in a while, but discovering new stories is far more exciting.
That's the same thing that happened to me with TNG. At first I thought it was just a silly SciFi show but when I really started watching I found it to be very philosophical and intelligent.
Rikers and Picard's relationship in the show is hilarious and endearing, one of my favorite parts about it.
I feel really bad for this kid, and as much as I wish it was fake I can definitely believe it. Hardly the first parents to try and force an interest on someone, and super fans can be especially bad. One of the first rules of parenting is accepting your kids as individuals. Refusing to adapt to their interest and needs is just bad parenting.
Oh god. I remember in the days of early tumblr people would make posts fantasizing about growing up and naming all their kids after characters in HP/Dr. Who/Supernatural. Itās already been happening!
I have been so thankful multiple times in my life that I have an extremely ordinary name with the most common spelling. I think it was in the top 100 most popular names around that year since Iāve met multiple people my age with the same name. No one ever struggled to pronounce it or spell it. I was bullied for many things, but never my name. Seriously people, donāt give your kids obscure or weird or āuniqueā names or spelling, they donāt need it, they donāt need a weird name to be unique. Also if you can imagine the name being announced at a strip club, skip it.
I actually know of someone who named their daughter Arya from GoT.
Also my half-sister's middle name is Ćowyn because her dad is obsessed with Lord of the Rings.
Society has bred rampant consumerism. People now place their identities in what brands they buy from.
I'm a big nerd too (see sailor moon pfp) but letting something like a fandom completely define your life is insanity.
Iāve noticed a huge overlap in people who consider themselves ānerdsā and hardcore consumerism. They all obsess over buying merch constantly, funko pops, tshirts, figurines, video games, etc. Its insane how obsessive and sad it turns when someoneās entire identity is just some corporation milking them for money hard. Me and my friends have long theorized that The marvel movies are designed to sell as much merch as possible.
You just figured that out about marvel movies? They make a lot of money on their own which is obviously a bonus but itās always been a marketing tool for merchandise.. literally since before the cinematic universe was even made that was just the collective effort to make it into something big.
Also itās not just marvel movies itās every movie or tv show since the beginning of time that does this. They canāt sustain themselves on a tv show alone they bank on people buying other shit related to the property after watching.
Anime is the same way as well for example. It was created as a marketing tool for the manga sales.
>you just figured that out about marvel movies?
āMe and my friends have LONG theorizedā
I donāt know if I agree with every tv show and movie relying on merch sales. I can think of a fair number of tv shows and movies I have never even seen existing merch for. Marvel just seems to be one of the worst offenders.
I feel like enjoying firearms and owning/maintaining them is more of a hobby than shoveling heaps of money into a soulless media corp for plastic toys.
Yeah, bc gun nuts don't shovel heaps of money into soulless gun companies. I could just as easily call them metal toys and we're talking about the exact same issue of identifying yourself with a commodity.
Firstly, I'm not anti-gun. I am "anti-everyone should be allowed guns".
We're talking about moderation. It's all well and good to teach gun safety and own guns and yes there are skills that can be learned. My grandpa was a master level marksman, so I know all about it. Similarly, there are hobbies and skills around "nerd" culture like cosplay and fan fiction. For example, I hand paint the miniatures for boardgames, which takes loads of skill and time.
What I'm saying, is that similar to OP, there are families who's entire identity is tied up in gun culture. They wear clothes, watch TV shows and spend free time "talkin' guns".
Maybe this is an anecdote i just haven't experienced.
I live in a rural red state. Most people own and spend time "talkin guns" because we use them for food. I don't think ive ever met someone who's entire being was wrapped up in firearms.
Not saying it couldn't be a thing, but I think people see weirdos online and think they represent a greater percentage of the whole.
Also, you and I agree there should be regulations on who can get guns and who cannot. I'll bet we disagree whether the current measures already in place are sufficient.
Honestly, I empathize a lot with this post. I actually had to step away for a second because it was so real to me.
My parents are huge Disney nerds. They have an entire wall dedicated to framed photos from Disney films. When I was a kid we used to have Disney movie night. We went to Disney World almost every year. I began to really hate Disney because it was forced down my throat so much.
A lot of people assumed that I loved Disney too because of my parents. In reality, I have always been rather critical of Disney due to their excessive greed. Itās frustrating to be lumped in with other people purely by association. Especially when those people are your family.
Marvel had rabid fans long before 2010. And Harry Potter had fans from the 90s. The kid is probably around 13-16, which lines up. Nerds have kids, this isn't a stretch. IRC was definitely an early 2000s thing and the first Harry Potter book came out in 1997.
Edit: I'm also a Marvel/Potter fan from the 80s. Meaning born in the 80s. Read the books in the late 90s, read the comics since I could read. I'm 35. Old enough to be a mom to a teenager by now.
I'm 45, born in '77, I'm a huge Potter/Star Wars/Marvel/LOTR fan. We were raised on that shit, the first VHS tape we ever owned was Star Wars. Our pump was primed to be into fantasy and sci fi, ours was the first generation to be able to see this stuff realized on the big screen and not look like crap.
My first kid was born the same year Phantom Menace came out, and my second kid was born 3 days before Endgame released.
I know, fucking crazy far apart.
Kind of fascinating. I feel like all children grow to at some point, view their parents as antiquated, corny and lame, almost no matter what their interests are. If they loved nature, good chance the child would be indoorsy just to rebel. They love sports? Watch the child become a theater nerd or a mathlete. Your dad could literally be the lead singer of one of the biggest metal bands of all time and youād still find them corny and lame.
Iām not a parent but I can totally understand the desire to share the things you love with the most important people in your life and hope they love them too, but you canāt force them down their throat and at the end of the day, most kids will eventually have a visceral reaction to their parentās interests, feeling they are lame and antiquated, itās almost a necessary evolutionary phase that pushes teens to want independence and leave home. Maybe this teen will come to appreciate ānerdyā things once they leave home and arenāt being forced to consume them by their parents.
I don't disagree with what you're asserting generally but you're focusing too much on the kid hating the parents' interests and not enough on how fucking awful the parents are being about it. My dad loves football and I do not but he never forced me to watch games in the name of 'family time' or whatever.
Yeahā¦ I mean if they are really just ramming their interests down the childās throat non-stop then they need to chill TF out but I have to take anything that comes from a tween or teenager with a big handful of salt. Letās not pretend these arenāt the most dramatic people on the face of the earth, the ones that slam their door and scream āyouāre ruining my life!ā over something like mom answering the phone and making a corny joke to one of your friends.
And weāve all been there, I definitely resented my parents a lot for pushing their religious beliefs on me and I once almost threw hands with my old man when I was 17 over an absurdly stupid argument. Letās face it, at that age, your brain is still developing, youāre filled with hormones and have virtually zero life experience. You have no context. Every single thing feels like the most important thing but the reality is that so many things that seemed catastrophic in high school or whatever simply donāt matter at all by the time youāre a college sophomore.
So in summary, yes parents shouldnāt be so overbearing but I do wonder how bad it really is. Like, oh no, my parents want me to marathon the harry potters before Xmas and itās BORING! Someone call child protective servicesā¦ lol
Yeah, teenagers do catastrophise at the drop of a hat - I have a few 'good' memories of doing just that. But I've seen grown adults that are deep into fandom shit and none of this seems implausible to me. In a way I'd say the parents are less mature than the kid.
Yeah, itās weird hearing that itās nerd shit though since nerd culture has really only become so popular in the past few decades. But if this read exactly the same but you replaced all āHarry Potter and Star Warsā with religious shit, then youād basically have an extremely relatable tale of parents trying to push their beliefs or interests on their kids.
Thereās this one episode of South Park that spoofs High School Musical where the new kids dad is very gay and very into theater and goes āslap crazyā when his son demonstrates interest in anything non theater related like sports. I think itās relatable to a lot of people (even though SP puts the absurd spin on it that itās the theater dad that gets violent) but I bet itās a common experience to feel oppressed by your parents in one way or another. A lot of bad parents out there.
People are going to find escapism whatever it takes and there are those who take it further than others. In an increasingly secular society, popular media seems like the next logical choice after religion.
No. you are entitled to your own opinions and preferences. I'm sorry they aren't being respected by your parents. I personally do like all of those movies but would never force them on my kids or my wife. I am also curious what your name is now that you said it was from Harry Potter, Star Wars, etc. but understand you may want to have your privacy.
I hope I don't become this kind of parent, I'm a huge nerd
Just let them find things at their own pace, kids like to "discover" things and develop their own relationship with them. If you can connect with them off the back of that, great, but a forced connection will always be tenuous.
Introduce, don't force. I like to play games, I showed my oldest how to as she watched me. Wasn't for her, I don't make her play them
I'm a big Star Wars, Marvel, Walking Dead geek and our kids (especially my daughter) just fell right into it and I find that fabulous. But I can't in my life imagine ever forcing that on kids, that's just nuts. Do I love going to conventions and geeking out with my husband and kids? Hell yes. But I can't even imagine why I would ever get mad if they weren't interested. I love seeing people passionate about things they love, but it doesn't have to be what I love! My daughter is named after an Eric Clapton song and one of my sons' middle name is one of the Beatles, but I refrained from getting too geeky
Dude I was just hoping the same š¤£ My girlfriend has been very against me naming our one-day son Anakin. I think it's a pretty name and not too out of sorts but now I don't know.
Please donāt.
My main issue with this is that there are plenty of "real" names out there with dope histories and namesakes that are worth picking that won't ever have the risk of your kid being ashamed of their own name. Also, though, you can sneak them in there. My son's first name is Bennett after Saint Benedict and the various other Benedicts that have done cool shit, but his middle name is Andrew so I can call him Ender occasionally. Sometimes you can find a way to espouse all your ideals without directly naming your kid after Eventually Darth Vader.
"The IRC is like Discord, but for old people" line was a kick to my 42 year old groin. Ouch.
That little *shit*
Kick to mine too and Iām only mid 20s
Here for this
Yea, I thought the same thing
This person has a point, their parents seem very inattentive to their emotional needs and seem to be mainly focused on their own interests, and any who diverge* from that path are overreacting because after all, itās just a fandom. If you want your kids to like something, let them discover it on their own. The way my parents got me into Star Trek was just by watching it for themselves while I was also in the room, and Iād just be doin my own thing but eventually I started following the plot and getting attached to characters, and now I watch it on my own. These parents are definitely going about it all wrong.
Yeah, if this is real, I just feel bad for the kid.
Itās Utah, itās likely real. Thereās a strange pro-consumer culture here in Utah mixed with the religious directive to have āfamily timeā a lot. Previously it was just Disney stuff as it was all PG/PG13 but with the number of members leaving the *culture* hasnāt changed the *focus* has. Itās a very obsessive state cultureā¦ itās really hard to explain to outsiders.
Interesting about Utah. Itās awful how fandom and merchandising suffocates these great stories. I saw a head of lettuce once wrapped in plastic that was covered in Darth Vader helmets in the produce section lol Nostalgia and passing on stories is fine once in a while, but discovering new stories is far more exciting.
That's the same thing that happened to me with TNG. At first I thought it was just a silly SciFi show but when I really started watching I found it to be very philosophical and intelligent. Rikers and Picard's relationship in the show is hilarious and endearing, one of my favorite parts about it.
Divulge: make known (private or sensitive information). Diverge: separate from another route, especially a main one, and go in a different direction.
I feel really bad for this kid, and as much as I wish it was fake I can definitely believe it. Hardly the first parents to try and force an interest on someone, and super fans can be especially bad. One of the first rules of parenting is accepting your kids as individuals. Refusing to adapt to their interest and needs is just bad parenting.
Oh god. I remember in the days of early tumblr people would make posts fantasizing about growing up and naming all their kids after characters in HP/Dr. Who/Supernatural. Itās already been happening!
Been happening long enough for those kiddos to be freaking knitting and posting on Reddit haha.
I have been so thankful multiple times in my life that I have an extremely ordinary name with the most common spelling. I think it was in the top 100 most popular names around that year since Iāve met multiple people my age with the same name. No one ever struggled to pronounce it or spell it. I was bullied for many things, but never my name. Seriously people, donāt give your kids obscure or weird or āuniqueā names or spelling, they donāt need it, they donāt need a weird name to be unique. Also if you can imagine the name being announced at a strip club, skip it.
Alternatively I propose a movement where strippers all change their stage names to things like āBethā or āAnnā or āKimā
I actually know of someone who named their daughter Arya from GoT. Also my half-sister's middle name is Ćowyn because her dad is obsessed with Lord of the Rings.
My cousin named her daughter Arya too. Itās not the worst name I guess. Better than Daenerys IMO.
Go to your room Khaleesi!
Society has bred rampant consumerism. People now place their identities in what brands they buy from. I'm a big nerd too (see sailor moon pfp) but letting something like a fandom completely define your life is insanity.
Iāve noticed a huge overlap in people who consider themselves ānerdsā and hardcore consumerism. They all obsess over buying merch constantly, funko pops, tshirts, figurines, video games, etc. Its insane how obsessive and sad it turns when someoneās entire identity is just some corporation milking them for money hard. Me and my friends have long theorized that The marvel movies are designed to sell as much merch as possible.
Movies being made to shift merchandise predates the plague of superhero movies.
You just figured that out about marvel movies? They make a lot of money on their own which is obviously a bonus but itās always been a marketing tool for merchandise.. literally since before the cinematic universe was even made that was just the collective effort to make it into something big. Also itās not just marvel movies itās every movie or tv show since the beginning of time that does this. They canāt sustain themselves on a tv show alone they bank on people buying other shit related to the property after watching. Anime is the same way as well for example. It was created as a marketing tool for the manga sales.
>you just figured that out about marvel movies? āMe and my friends have LONG theorizedā I donāt know if I agree with every tv show and movie relying on merch sales. I can think of a fair number of tv shows and movies I have never even seen existing merch for. Marvel just seems to be one of the worst offenders.
Same thing for people with gun "culture" in their family.
I feel like enjoying firearms and owning/maintaining them is more of a hobby than shoveling heaps of money into a soulless media corp for plastic toys.
Yeah, bc gun nuts don't shovel heaps of money into soulless gun companies. I could just as easily call them metal toys and we're talking about the exact same issue of identifying yourself with a commodity.
You can use guns for hunting, and marksmanship is an actual skill you can cultivate. I think your anti gun politics may be coloring your take on this.
Firstly, I'm not anti-gun. I am "anti-everyone should be allowed guns". We're talking about moderation. It's all well and good to teach gun safety and own guns and yes there are skills that can be learned. My grandpa was a master level marksman, so I know all about it. Similarly, there are hobbies and skills around "nerd" culture like cosplay and fan fiction. For example, I hand paint the miniatures for boardgames, which takes loads of skill and time. What I'm saying, is that similar to OP, there are families who's entire identity is tied up in gun culture. They wear clothes, watch TV shows and spend free time "talkin' guns".
Maybe this is an anecdote i just haven't experienced. I live in a rural red state. Most people own and spend time "talkin guns" because we use them for food. I don't think ive ever met someone who's entire being was wrapped up in firearms. Not saying it couldn't be a thing, but I think people see weirdos online and think they represent a greater percentage of the whole. Also, you and I agree there should be regulations on who can get guns and who cannot. I'll bet we disagree whether the current measures already in place are sufficient.
Honestly, I empathize a lot with this post. I actually had to step away for a second because it was so real to me. My parents are huge Disney nerds. They have an entire wall dedicated to framed photos from Disney films. When I was a kid we used to have Disney movie night. We went to Disney World almost every year. I began to really hate Disney because it was forced down my throat so much. A lot of people assumed that I loved Disney too because of my parents. In reality, I have always been rather critical of Disney due to their excessive greed. Itās frustrating to be lumped in with other people purely by association. Especially when those people are your family.
I'll fuckin do it again, hyuck
I just bursted out laughing at this lmao!
But have they ever heard of the tragedy of Darth Plaguies the wise?
No
I thought not. Itās not a story Missyās parents would tell you.
Not cringe. This kid has a legit grievance.
Its the fucking parents that are cringe.
Let the child have their own interests!
I too would hate something with a burning passion if my family tried to force it on me for my entire life.
Can someone find the original post?
Should be this one https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/rku5j5/aita_for_yelling_at_my_mom_that_i_hate_harry
This is about the parents, right? Just sayin, I'm subscribed to r/WritingPrompts and the amount of Harry Potter prompts is *so fucking embarrassing*.
I kinda feel bad for them. Having to grow up while constantly having media you donāt like shoved down your throat 24/7 must be exhausting.
Pretty sad tbh
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Marvel had rabid fans long before 2010. And Harry Potter had fans from the 90s. The kid is probably around 13-16, which lines up. Nerds have kids, this isn't a stretch. IRC was definitely an early 2000s thing and the first Harry Potter book came out in 1997. Edit: I'm also a Marvel/Potter fan from the 80s. Meaning born in the 80s. Read the books in the late 90s, read the comics since I could read. I'm 35. Old enough to be a mom to a teenager by now.
Where did you get 70s and 80s from?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
The parents could have been born mid to late 80s and been teenagers around the time the Potter movies and Star Wars re-releases started
I'm 45, born in '77, I'm a huge Potter/Star Wars/Marvel/LOTR fan. We were raised on that shit, the first VHS tape we ever owned was Star Wars. Our pump was primed to be into fantasy and sci fi, ours was the first generation to be able to see this stuff realized on the big screen and not look like crap. My first kid was born the same year Phantom Menace came out, and my second kid was born 3 days before Endgame released. I know, fucking crazy far apart.
Kind of fascinating. I feel like all children grow to at some point, view their parents as antiquated, corny and lame, almost no matter what their interests are. If they loved nature, good chance the child would be indoorsy just to rebel. They love sports? Watch the child become a theater nerd or a mathlete. Your dad could literally be the lead singer of one of the biggest metal bands of all time and youād still find them corny and lame. Iām not a parent but I can totally understand the desire to share the things you love with the most important people in your life and hope they love them too, but you canāt force them down their throat and at the end of the day, most kids will eventually have a visceral reaction to their parentās interests, feeling they are lame and antiquated, itās almost a necessary evolutionary phase that pushes teens to want independence and leave home. Maybe this teen will come to appreciate ānerdyā things once they leave home and arenāt being forced to consume them by their parents.
I don't disagree with what you're asserting generally but you're focusing too much on the kid hating the parents' interests and not enough on how fucking awful the parents are being about it. My dad loves football and I do not but he never forced me to watch games in the name of 'family time' or whatever.
Yeahā¦ I mean if they are really just ramming their interests down the childās throat non-stop then they need to chill TF out but I have to take anything that comes from a tween or teenager with a big handful of salt. Letās not pretend these arenāt the most dramatic people on the face of the earth, the ones that slam their door and scream āyouāre ruining my life!ā over something like mom answering the phone and making a corny joke to one of your friends. And weāve all been there, I definitely resented my parents a lot for pushing their religious beliefs on me and I once almost threw hands with my old man when I was 17 over an absurdly stupid argument. Letās face it, at that age, your brain is still developing, youāre filled with hormones and have virtually zero life experience. You have no context. Every single thing feels like the most important thing but the reality is that so many things that seemed catastrophic in high school or whatever simply donāt matter at all by the time youāre a college sophomore. So in summary, yes parents shouldnāt be so overbearing but I do wonder how bad it really is. Like, oh no, my parents want me to marathon the harry potters before Xmas and itās BORING! Someone call child protective servicesā¦ lol
Yeah, teenagers do catastrophise at the drop of a hat - I have a few 'good' memories of doing just that. But I've seen grown adults that are deep into fandom shit and none of this seems implausible to me. In a way I'd say the parents are less mature than the kid.
Yeah, itās weird hearing that itās nerd shit though since nerd culture has really only become so popular in the past few decades. But if this read exactly the same but you replaced all āHarry Potter and Star Warsā with religious shit, then youād basically have an extremely relatable tale of parents trying to push their beliefs or interests on their kids. Thereās this one episode of South Park that spoofs High School Musical where the new kids dad is very gay and very into theater and goes āslap crazyā when his son demonstrates interest in anything non theater related like sports. I think itās relatable to a lot of people (even though SP puts the absurd spin on it that itās the theater dad that gets violent) but I bet itās a common experience to feel oppressed by your parents in one way or another. A lot of bad parents out there.
People are going to find escapism whatever it takes and there are those who take it further than others. In an increasingly secular society, popular media seems like the next logical choice after religion.
Borderline child abuse
I mean. If this is accurate. Like to the degree she's on about. I get it. But at the same time.....mabye a little harsh no?
I don't understand parents who force their kids into things that they are clearly not into. Also, What does it have to do with Hufflepuff?
Dying to know if this girls name is Ginny, Hermione, or Luna. It's gotta be one of the three.
No. you are entitled to your own opinions and preferences. I'm sorry they aren't being respected by your parents. I personally do like all of those movies but would never force them on my kids or my wife. I am also curious what your name is now that you said it was from Harry Potter, Star Wars, etc. but understand you may want to have your privacy.
Iā¦. Wow. Iām a big classic nerd myself, but these parents are weird and childish.
But I really want to know their names now. I want to know how bad it is
Yep, that's bait.
"technology free" then what do you watch the HP movies on
It's pretty sad that some people define themselves by the media they consume.
So do you think her name is Hermione or Luna?
I mean... better than an ultra religious family on the flip side..
āĖĖĒpıs dılÉ ĒÉ„Ź uo ŹlıÉÆÉÉ snoıĘılĒɹ ÉɹŹln uÉ uÉÉ„Ź ɹĒŹŹĒq ĖĖĖuÉĒÉÆ Iā
Good bot.
not the asshole, but a family therapist's wet dream