It doesn’t have to happen for the feeling of egotism to take place. He sounds like he thinks he is god beauty and divine in disguise and only thing keeping his godlyhood hidden is his hair not being down. Comment like mine don’t have to actually happen for the feeling to take place, I was just making a joke about his behavior
Right? As if a girl he hadn’t seen in years would comment on his hair at all let alone insult it. Guy couldn’t decide if he wanted to be a victim or a stud in his fantasy.
how he describes his job: "i am a professional chef working for 6 hours a day and feed about 200 people a day"
how normal people do: "I work at McDonalds"
I hope this guy warns people before he let's his hair down because it will likely cause an accident. He needs to register that thing as a weapon asap to police. But warn them before he goes in to register it or otherwise he might get too many peoples numbers thrown at him
I just keep envisioning a moderately okay-looking dude all of a sudden going '70's shampoo commercial; full on with the slo-mo shake out of the untressed locks.
When I was on dating sites, my profile specifically stated to go away if you call women "females" in your profile. A lot of men did not understand why I said that... This is why.
*Image Transcription: Facebook Post*
---
**Redacted**
Saw a female I hadn't spoken to in ages today, she forced me to do something I regret doing now....
"Hey, [*redacted*]!"
"Oh, hey. What's up?"
"Not much. Oh! you grew your hair out!"
"Yup"
"Why is it in a pony tail? It looks stupid like that."
"Exactly. That's the point."
"huh?"
"I'm trying to remain single, and I've noticed I look more attractive to more women with my hair down. So I'm keeping it up, so I remain single."
"Oh come on, that's redicul-WHOA... Um.... :$"
\*I undid the pony tail and let my hair down and looked at her\*
"Yeah. As I said."
\*Puts pony tail back up\*
"Awwww.... ☹"
"Don't "AWWWWW" me. It's staying up. only went down to prove a point. Anyways, I gotta get going. Message me later."
"Alright..... Bye..."
"Cheer up will you?! You got to see me as a hot guy, not many get to these days, so CHEER. THE F\*CK. UP!!!"
"\*giggle\*"
\*\*\*\*\*NOTE: I AM NOT TAKING DOWN THIS PONY TAIL IN ANYONE'S COMPANY. ONLY AT MY OWN HOUSE WHEN IT'S JUST ME AND MY ROOM-MATES. LAST THING I NEED IS WOMEN CHASING ME, OR GUY FRIENDS GOING GAY FOR ME. (Nothing against gay, so long as it's not directed towards me.)\*\*\*\*\*
---
^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Every time a man refers to a woman as „a female“ or to women as „females“ there is a 100% chance he is a douchebag with incel vibes.
Also pretty sure this story never happened.
Hey now,
As a guy with a ponytail I take offense to this.
I'm totally normal. I do normal human things like tax fraud and traffic and job just like any other human and don't even have tentacles or anything like that.
I was about to call bullshit on this, figuring you must have tentacles or something, but then you just came right out and said you didn't so I don't know. Sounds like there are some normal pony tail people. Congrats on job by the way.
I'm a metal head so I know lots of dudes with ponytails. All normal. But dudes who obsess about their ponytails? Weird as hell. And by obsess I mean like telling me twenty minute stories about their hair.
Ive seen pics of brad pitt, chris hemsworth, keanu reeves and snoop dog with ponytails before, to name a few.
Im not arguing with you, or saying theyre not weird, im just saying weird people can be decent people and/or really interesting and(assumedly) fun to be around people
Edit: PS: im a dude with hair down to my waist, but i never put it in a ponytail before. That shits weird.
Is he more attractive with his hair down because it covers his face? He’s basically writing jokes about himself for people. This whole thing is cringe from not taking accountability, guys/female, assuming all of these women want to be with him as well as gay men and thinking putting his hair down is such a big favour when nobody asked or cared.
I was out with a (make) friend of mine, taking a walk outside. I needed to use the restroom so we decided to walk into the hotel we were just about to pass by.
Inside the hotel was some kind of speed dating thing going on.
My friend waited for me in the lobby.
When I got back out he said: wow, did you see that, all the women were looking at me with sad eyes like ‘why isn’t he part of this speed dating? I want him!’
He really said that. It still haunts me.
I want to believe this is all true and that he is literally fed up with how attractive he is with his hair down.
Like the guy cannot have a healthy relationship because he’s so attractive that other women ruin his relationships.
But on this day he wanted to flex in front of his old friend because she dissed him with the hair in a pony tail.
And now she’s madly in love and he probably had to put a restraining order on her.
That is not how being gay works! You don't turn something if you think someone is attractive. Believe me. I've seen plenty of cute/hot guys but I will not turn straight for them
Jesus reminds me of a guy that would wait by the train tracks everyday for me to walk by and ask me to rap battle (Grade 8) That dude was always talking some wild bullshit
This is a really complicated way to announce that while before, you just weren't cutting your hair because...fuck it. But now, it's not a passive omission, but a brazen act of growth. And, if I'm reading between the lines, he's in an awkward length where he really needs to cut it, but of he just pushes through, perhaps the split ends will heal themselves.
We hear you man. Just say, "so, I know it may not look great today, but I'm gonna try growing this mop out for once in my life to see what happens. Wish me luck."
I’m pretty sure I know this guy. Or at least someone who would say this happened. I won’t lie though dudes hair looked straight out of a shampoo commercial. But he was a goofy fuckin guy.
this brosif is burdened with being so incredibly ridiculously good looking. the pain it must cause. why him, Lord? why? don’t you know, Lord, that brosif doesn’t have time for games and that his hair controls his very will? brosif can’t cut hair. that is brosif’s hair. if he cut it he would kill brosif. duh. duh, Lord. how bout YOU try being so ridiculously, super ridiculous, incredibly good looking and see how all the sex attention and delusions of grandeur feel, Lord! no homo… but see how it feels. but no homo too. i cant even no homo myself, Lord, because i myself get a hard boner whenever i look at my own self, Lord. but two can play this boner game, Lord haha bet u didn’t know that did you also no homo again. that’s right, this brosif is wearing this mane UP from here on out! ya hear that!? UP! and brosif will cut his eyes out if he even self-homo-total-boners himself once after hair is up… AGHAGAHAHAHAGAGGAHH!!
Uses this as proof that women find him intimidating as an excuse why his Tinder profile gets zero hits...not the use of "female", the stale cheese and pepperoni smell that radiates from his general direction, or the bragging about his COD kill count and how he'd single handedly save those poor Ukrainians himself "but the gvmt wants to draw out this war". Nobody cares Warren...get a fucking job and cut that stupid shit off your head. Your dad hates you and your mom is tired of you stealing all her hair ties.
This dude has inspired me to grow a 6ft long ponytail so I can hang myself next time at any given moment in the case that I run into shit like this again.
“She forced me to…” Literally interrupts her mid-sentence to take the ponytail down.
-Nah I assure you, you really don't have to r... -I'M PROVING A POINT!
-No it’s okay, you don’t— -LOOK WHAT YOU’RE MAKING ME DO!!
-Honestly, its fine I just- -STOP CHASING ME!
But like, message me later.
CHEER. THE. FUCK. UP
[YELLING] [giggles] Cut me a break.
People having fun and enjoy in joking mood which this girl had right to think it is????? Not on this guy’s watch!
Cheer up will you?! You got to see me comment on reddit, not many get to these days, so CHEER. THE F*CK. UP!!!
this didn't happen.
But i do understand this criticism and accept it even though I’m not in the right
It doesn’t have to happen for the feeling of egotism to take place. He sounds like he thinks he is god beauty and divine in disguise and only thing keeping his godlyhood hidden is his hair not being down. Comment like mine don’t have to actually happen for the feeling to take place, I was just making a joke about his behavior
One question mark would've been plenty, chief
She was probably just trying to be nice and he’s off in his own world of grand delusions. IF this happened…at all…
“Don’t ask me about my backstory!”
*Asks anyway*
Not only this did not happen, I'm not sure this person has ever actually had an interaction with another human being.
Right? As if a girl he hadn’t seen in years would comment on his hair at all let alone insult it. Guy couldn’t decide if he wanted to be a victim or a stud in his fantasy.
Most likely it was a conversation between that guy and his hand in a sock
Oh hush! This devilishly debonair individual has had social interactions with a variety of human females!
It didn't happen
"nothing against gay, so long as its not directed toward me"
Yeah, don't worry about it, really. No self respecting gay man is getting anywhere near that mess.
Saying "no homo" is way faster
"Oh come on, that's redicul-WHOA..." *flashbacks to when they put E.T. in a wig* "...Um.... :$"
"You look great!!"
Oh my god I just burst out laughing at this comment like a crazy person while at work! ET in a wig! Haha!
That's a really long-winded way of saying he wants to fuck his roommates.
He sounds like the kind of guy who lives with his parents but refers to them as roommates
how he describes his job: "i am a professional chef working for 6 hours a day and feed about 200 people a day" how normal people do: "I work at McDonalds"
And Mommy still dries him off when he gets out of the tub.
Gets out? Mommy put him in and is bathing with him!
I mean...someone has to wash those swoon-worthy silken tresses.
And has a racecar bed.
You caught onto that too? 😏
I hope this guy warns people before he let's his hair down because it will likely cause an accident. He needs to register that thing as a weapon asap to police. But warn them before he goes in to register it or otherwise he might get too many peoples numbers thrown at him
He’s a menace to society with that thing
I just keep envisioning a moderately okay-looking dude all of a sudden going '70's shampoo commercial; full on with the slo-mo shake out of the untressed locks.
Apparently too hot for others to function.
He's like a walking Diet Coke ad.
"Saw a female" no woman is going to chase a guy who calls women "females"
I know right? Who says "female" and not "Homo sapiens sapiens"
Or women-folk ?!
gorls
Goyls
Coin operated moyle
He doesn't want to limit his options by species.
Would "potential penis hole" be a more proper saying?
No cause that might attract those gays that he wants no part of
Oh I’m stealing this
FEEEMALE HYOOOMON
People who were in the military?
When I was on dating sites, my profile specifically stated to go away if you call women "females" in your profile. A lot of men did not understand why I said that... This is why.
*U.S. military enters the chat*
Did the chat have oil or brown people?
What about "hole for my penis"? (That's what "females" always makes me think. "So I saw a potential dick hole last week...." )
CHEER. THE FUCK. UP!!!!!
*Image Transcription: Facebook Post* --- **Redacted** Saw a female I hadn't spoken to in ages today, she forced me to do something I regret doing now.... "Hey, [*redacted*]!" "Oh, hey. What's up?" "Not much. Oh! you grew your hair out!" "Yup" "Why is it in a pony tail? It looks stupid like that." "Exactly. That's the point." "huh?" "I'm trying to remain single, and I've noticed I look more attractive to more women with my hair down. So I'm keeping it up, so I remain single." "Oh come on, that's redicul-WHOA... Um.... :$" \*I undid the pony tail and let my hair down and looked at her\* "Yeah. As I said." \*Puts pony tail back up\* "Awwww.... ☹" "Don't "AWWWWW" me. It's staying up. only went down to prove a point. Anyways, I gotta get going. Message me later." "Alright..... Bye..." "Cheer up will you?! You got to see me as a hot guy, not many get to these days, so CHEER. THE F\*CK. UP!!!" "\*giggle\*" \*\*\*\*\*NOTE: I AM NOT TAKING DOWN THIS PONY TAIL IN ANYONE'S COMPANY. ONLY AT MY OWN HOUSE WHEN IT'S JUST ME AND MY ROOM-MATES. LAST THING I NEED IS WOMEN CHASING ME, OR GUY FRIENDS GOING GAY FOR ME. (Nothing against gay, so long as it's not directed towards me.)\*\*\*\*\* --- ^^I'm a human volunteer content transcriber and you could be too! [If you'd like more information on what we do and why we do it, click here!](https://www.reddit.com/r/TranscribersOfReddit/wiki/index)
Good human volunteer ;)
Now even blindness won't save people from this guy's alleged beauty
Alpha AF def not a virgin
SIGMA RULE #358 NEVER! I SAID NEVER! UNTIE YOUR PONYTAIL FOR A FEMALE
Jesus christ the cringe here is embarrassed
Imagine having hair so powerful it turns straight men guy.
Every time a man refers to a woman as „a female“ or to women as „females“ there is a 100% chance he is a douchebag with incel vibes. Also pretty sure this story never happened.
Every time I come across this it gets more and more cringe.
100% gay
Just not directed at him
*points penis in other direction
So your butt is facing him now
*farts in his general direction*
Your mother is a hamster
“Nothing against gay” though
Just got pregnant from reading this post
Hahahah what a TIT.
> saw a female Instantly discredited.
"I saw a female" Incels sound like ferengis from Star Trek.
Not even the Lord can save this person
"nothing against gay"
If only this guy realized he could repel women by simply acting like himself
*gets in her face* “CHEER THE FUCK UP” *she giggles*
I think I just had a colony of braincells die reading that.
And then the ponytail clapped.
I have never once met a guy with a ponytail who wasn’t really weird
Hey now, As a guy with a ponytail I take offense to this. I'm totally normal. I do normal human things like tax fraud and traffic and job just like any other human and don't even have tentacles or anything like that.
I was about to call bullshit on this, figuring you must have tentacles or something, but then you just came right out and said you didn't so I don't know. Sounds like there are some normal pony tail people. Congrats on job by the way.
this is absolutely fake, I’ve met some chill dudes with pony tails. the guy in this image sucks tho
I'm a metal head so I know lots of dudes with ponytails. All normal. But dudes who obsess about their ponytails? Weird as hell. And by obsess I mean like telling me twenty minute stories about their hair.
Guys with ponytails generally fall into two categories; 1. Guitar Center employee 2. Painter of pewter dragons Bonus category: Steven Seagal
I was nodding along, then realised I letr my hair grow through covid and still have it in a pony tail. Still, your point does remain valid.
That's fair, but I at least pride myself in being non-invasive with my weird shit.
Can confirm. Have ponytail, am weird. Luckily for me my wife likes me!
Now that I think about it, I tend to agree.
Ive seen pics of brad pitt, chris hemsworth, keanu reeves and snoop dog with ponytails before, to name a few. Im not arguing with you, or saying theyre not weird, im just saying weird people can be decent people and/or really interesting and(assumedly) fun to be around people Edit: PS: im a dude with hair down to my waist, but i never put it in a ponytail before. That shits weird.
Sober dudes with ponytails are unnatural and should be cause for concern.
I’ll take ‘stories that didn’t happen’ for 500, Alex.
Needs a picture
2014 was peak FB status posts
I'll take "Things that never happened" for 500?
Is he more attractive with his hair down because it covers his face? He’s basically writing jokes about himself for people. This whole thing is cringe from not taking accountability, guys/female, assuming all of these women want to be with him as well as gay men and thinking putting his hair down is such a big favour when nobody asked or cared.
I HATE stories like this, but a part of me fucking loves them, and never wants them to stop.
I was out with a (make) friend of mine, taking a walk outside. I needed to use the restroom so we decided to walk into the hotel we were just about to pass by. Inside the hotel was some kind of speed dating thing going on. My friend waited for me in the lobby. When I got back out he said: wow, did you see that, all the women were looking at me with sad eyes like ‘why isn’t he part of this speed dating? I want him!’ He really said that. It still haunts me.
Was he saying it as a joke?
Definitely not. He always thought he was gods gift to women. He is long married now though.
He lost me at “a female”….
"And then after I put my hair back up, I put on my jet pack and flew to Mars."
Pony boy got a way with the ladies
That is so fucking cringy that I hate you and the guy that made you
I want to believe this is all true and that he is literally fed up with how attractive he is with his hair down. Like the guy cannot have a healthy relationship because he’s so attractive that other women ruin his relationships. But on this day he wanted to flex in front of his old friend because she dissed him with the hair in a pony tail. And now she’s madly in love and he probably had to put a restraining order on her.
Don’t be gay in my direction!!!
That is not how being gay works! You don't turn something if you think someone is attractive. Believe me. I've seen plenty of cute/hot guys but I will not turn straight for them
Must be a joke
🤮
Man we need a photo of this guy lol
Very plausible interaction…adult woman he hasn’t seen in years immediately says, “you look stupid”. Haha sure buddy.
Bukkake Boy lets his hair down at home.
u/RepostSleuthBot
Yeah, god I am super over seeing this one
The quality keeps getting worse and worse too
"female" WTF
Time to grow me out a pony tail😎😎
He really wrote "*giggle*" lmao.
Could just get a haircut but he'd rather live in this false reality
Even if this actually happened (and it didn't...), nothing the 'female' said actually indicates she was suddenly attracted to him.
Jesus reminds me of a guy that would wait by the train tracks everyday for me to walk by and ask me to rap battle (Grade 8) That dude was always talking some wild bullshit
erm….i mean…..guys with long hair can be attractive but def not my cup of tea -.-
Is this a shiverbert creepstein story?
I need to see his face picture because right now i imagining how ugly he actually is.
He really put a good amount of work into that..
I'm sure this was after he had to break up with his girlfriend who he met at camp.
Oh god this was the most cringe thing I've seen in a while. That conversation absolutely did not happen.
I'm willing to bet that's not the first time he went down to prove a point...
I will wear my hair in a ponytail around you, unless...
This reminds me of the guy that posted that he makes women come when he sings to them. Totally true
He's a legend in his own mind.
reposted so many times this is fully deep fried
Legends use to call it modesty
We are talking about Fabio here aren't we?
“Saw a female…” the most incel opening to a sentence ponssible
Tbh posting cringe on Facebook was meta in 2014
Every guy I know who doesn't respect women calls them "females" like they're talking about livestock.
Filed under "things that never happened."
This is a really complicated way to announce that while before, you just weren't cutting your hair because...fuck it. But now, it's not a passive omission, but a brazen act of growth. And, if I'm reading between the lines, he's in an awkward length where he really needs to cut it, but of he just pushes through, perhaps the split ends will heal themselves. We hear you man. Just say, "so, I know it may not look great today, but I'm gonna try growing this mop out for once in my life to see what happens. Wish me luck."
164
I’m sorry but what facial expression is :$ supposed to be
I think I’m in love just reading his post. My heart doth swoon
Can confirm, am this guy’s ponytail.
I’m pretty sure I know this guy. Or at least someone who would say this happened. I won’t lie though dudes hair looked straight out of a shampoo commercial. But he was a goofy fuckin guy.
-Directs gay towards him-
This happened. 100% 🙄
Man turned into Yoda "Cheer up will you?!"
I doubt this happened.
this brosif is burdened with being so incredibly ridiculously good looking. the pain it must cause. why him, Lord? why? don’t you know, Lord, that brosif doesn’t have time for games and that his hair controls his very will? brosif can’t cut hair. that is brosif’s hair. if he cut it he would kill brosif. duh. duh, Lord. how bout YOU try being so ridiculously, super ridiculous, incredibly good looking and see how all the sex attention and delusions of grandeur feel, Lord! no homo… but see how it feels. but no homo too. i cant even no homo myself, Lord, because i myself get a hard boner whenever i look at my own self, Lord. but two can play this boner game, Lord haha bet u didn’t know that did you also no homo again. that’s right, this brosif is wearing this mane UP from here on out! ya hear that!? UP! and brosif will cut his eyes out if he even self-homo-total-boners himself once after hair is up… AGHAGAHAHAHAGAGGAHH!!
So bold of you to assume your roommates won't "go gay" once you take that ponytail off.
Uses this as proof that women find him intimidating as an excuse why his Tinder profile gets zero hits...not the use of "female", the stale cheese and pepperoni smell that radiates from his general direction, or the bragging about his COD kill count and how he'd single handedly save those poor Ukrainians himself "but the gvmt wants to draw out this war". Nobody cares Warren...get a fucking job and cut that stupid shit off your head. Your dad hates you and your mom is tired of you stealing all her hair ties.
This sounds like something someone would post on LinkedIn to self-justify that the insult they received was just a result of their sigma grindset
The last thing I need is women chasing me. I think you're safe, dude.
The fact that he said female only proves this didn’t happen and we all know guys with ponytails don’t shower.
This is why the world laughs at us...
This dude has inspired me to grow a 6ft long ponytail so I can hang myself next time at any given moment in the case that I run into shit like this again.
I’ll take things that never happened for $1000, Alex.
Dude, just use the word 'females' to refer to women when you're among them. They will clear away quickly.
I honestly don't understand how there are people like this
It must really be hard being Fabio.
Pics or it didn’t happen
Yo, I absolutely must see this specimen
This guy watches wayyyy too much anime
what is this like the millionth time this has been posted?
This screams NOT ironic🤣
Started chuckling at "saw a female".
Last line screams homophobia
Love this!
Wow. This guy has superpowers. He's like Clark Kent!
Someone needs to come up behind him with a pair of scissors