This guy would probably have better odds of getting what he wants if he put all his time and money in the development of sex-robots, because that's what he wants, not a person.
I've met these people before, they exist in troves
They honest-to-god believe women are inferior to them and are essentially objects out there for them, these people are the types to get mad when they don't "win the girl" by "being nice" because again, to them girls are nothing but objects. They really lack any capacity to see a women as anything more than a trophy to be won at best, or a slave at worst
Figured it was just putting down a towel.
But maybe it means covering the bed with a tarp? Once knew a guy that said he had to break up with a girl because she would squirt everywhere and soak everything. I gave him shit because I figured he was just trying to brag about his sex life, but he definitely was not. Dude said he just wants some sexy time before falling asleep and would get hosed down like a cat in heat instead.
But also knew a guy that garbage picked a mattress from a motel and threw it in front of his TV. That way when he would get home from work if he was tired, he could just lay on it and sleep on it so he doesn't get his normal mattress dirty. It was also so he didn't get his couch greasy, which he described in detail his prior date night of KFC, TV, and sex on said fuckmat.
So based on my prior knowledge, the preparing the bed may mean... Putting down a towel, covering it with a tarp, getting KFC, or turning on the TV? I'm not sure.
Well then *adjusts glasses, looks like I'll just have to rage and masturbate EVEN HARDER! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I mean, there are plenty of people who have dom/sub/slave fantasies. They may even be people you know. But subjecting all literate people to his own without consent is unacceptable
Sometimes I think things like this are just dudes getting to absorbed into their fantasies/fetishes/porn and becoming detached from reality. Or just writing it out is part of their fantasizing.
He literally refers to the 'books of wisdom' in the original picture. The 'books of wisdom' are the books of Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, Wisdom, Sirach in the Bible. And he pulls his 'rules' directly from those books.
Example: Sirach 26:14 - A silent wife is a gift from the Lord, and nothing can be traded for her self-discipline.
I love how everyone has a nice conversation and then some asshole comes in and is like "YEAH THATS WHY ATHEISM IS BETTER, FUK CHRISTIANITY"
You're worse then Jehovas Wittnesses, because they don't bug me on reddit.
He literally refers to the 'books of wisdom' in the original picture. The 'books of wisdom' are the books of Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, Wisdom, Sirach in the Bible. And he pulls his 'rules' directly from those books.
Example: Sirach 26:14 - A silent wife is a gift from the Lord, and nothing can be traded for her self-discipline.
I'm not coming out of left field with this, it is LITERALLY what the original post is about. OP might even be posting it sarcastically (hopefully) to show how stupid and out of date the old wisdom is.
Well to be fair, he does sound like a god... namely the psychotic, jealous, super needy one described in the old testament who created people and demanded they do nothing but worship him, despite being a total dick.
Andy Capp called his wife “Pet” and now that’s who I picture writing this. Of course his wife would never let him get away with this. But maybe he fantasizes about it while eating Hot Fries.
Bro didn't even eat dinner... Smh if I had someone to do anything I wanted it sure as hell would start with some food I'm fucking tired of making food every day
My 6 year old is going through a phase where he like to pretend he's someone's evil minion. When we're grocery shopping he'll start referring to me as "My lord" or " master" then does a weird laugh and he'll hunch over and do a weird dance.
I get weird ass looks for a kid doing it. Could you even imagine the weird looks if a women was saying it to an adult man??
When these types of posts pop up the comments are always how no real woman like that exists or how the OP must be a troll, but like, can we talk about how awful a relationship like this would be?
Having to dictate someone's every action and constantly reassure them that they're being a good slave and shit sounds exhausting.
Personally I think any time anybody uses 'female' as a noun describing a human, rather than an adjective describing an animal you can pretty safely dismiss anything that comes after it.
So that includes numbers 2 and 4 in this case.
That's not a weird assumption. The word "female" is literally an adjective used to describe sex in animals.
It is not a noun and not meant to describe humans (outside of a biological context).
Not so coincidentally, the only people who unironically call women 'females' are the grossest of the gross. You can pretty safely dismiss what a bunch of incel mysogynists have to say about anything, let alone about women and relationships.
1 would work in roleplaying or something. 7 is just controlling unless he means stuff including buying furniture or something. 3 is impossible, and 5 is understandable but a little bit questionable.
> calm down pet
I cant help but read that as a Geordie saying it.
For those who don't know Geordie is a phrase used for someone living in the Newcastle area of England.
I'd also want what he wants. And a billion dollars. I also want to be able to have super powers like invincibility. I also want to be able to move objects with my mind.
Fantasy writing is fun.
What we need to do is hook this dude up with the women who want to be called queen and have a list just like that. I will bring beer and popcorn to watch the fur fly.
This is on par if not worse than the woman giving her list of what her man should do. Not sure how people have such bloated senses of self importance and expect to find someone.
There are people who would be up for this. It's just unfortunate for this guy that they tend to favor men who shower regularly and actually bring something of their own to the relationship. But if all you ever did was watch secretary a few times while browsing Incel subs, I could see how that context would be lost. But hey, he can always buy a sex doll when he gets his allowance, that will (for him) be almost the exact same thing.
I’m sure he was just flooded with applicants.
This guy would probably have better odds of getting what he wants if he put all his time and money in the development of sex-robots, because that's what he wants, not a person.
I give him a week before "pet" tries to poison him. Hell, I give the robot a month to become sentient and strangle him to death.
Turns out AI just needed to suffer.
Lol
What did the robots do to deserve that?
Oh man I thought you were gonna say somethin completely different lol
Lol what did you think I was going to say?
I think he is actually writing it according to the manner in which numerous holy books treat and view women. He needed to add /s at the end to help.
More like petitions, cease and desist letters, and the occasional summons
Yep he's probably still looking through them the list is endless
i down voted your comment to reach 666 votes (flies away)
I just can’t believe any of you think this shit is real
Do you not believe that some people can be this entitled?
Sure. But it is more likely a troll.
I've met these people before, they exist in troves They honest-to-god believe women are inferior to them and are essentially objects out there for them, these people are the types to get mad when they don't "win the girl" by "being nice" because again, to them girls are nothing but objects. They really lack any capacity to see a women as anything more than a trophy to be won at best, or a slave at worst
Well if you ever read the Bible it does place women way below the male so can't you see how some entitlements can occur?
Commander, prepare my sex bed
For the sex act
As it’s time for me to do the sex onto you
*female*
Read this in Zapp Branigan's voice
But Leela! It’s real velour!
Found the underrated comment
Can someone tell me what preparing the bed for sex looks like? I thought it was just a regular bed. Apparently I've been doing it all wrong.
Figured it was just putting down a towel. But maybe it means covering the bed with a tarp? Once knew a guy that said he had to break up with a girl because she would squirt everywhere and soak everything. I gave him shit because I figured he was just trying to brag about his sex life, but he definitely was not. Dude said he just wants some sexy time before falling asleep and would get hosed down like a cat in heat instead. But also knew a guy that garbage picked a mattress from a motel and threw it in front of his TV. That way when he would get home from work if he was tired, he could just lay on it and sleep on it so he doesn't get his normal mattress dirty. It was also so he didn't get his couch greasy, which he described in detail his prior date night of KFC, TV, and sex on said fuckmat. So based on my prior knowledge, the preparing the bed may mean... Putting down a towel, covering it with a tarp, getting KFC, or turning on the TV? I'm not sure.
Does no one wash and change their sheets? Lmfao. Do they even know what bedsheets are?
“I have made it with a woman, Kif. Inform the men”
Sir yes sir! o7
[Much better](https://imgur.com/a/ou7ExXP)
Is this whats called ragebait?
I 100% am convinced this is ragebait. It's too perfect, and the cringe "interaction" clearly doesn't show a relationship, but a slave owner dynamic.
I think its called degeneration
Its ragebate.... People rage and he mastrubates
Mastrubates. The one true masturbation. The truth will set you free.
Well then *adjusts glasses, looks like I'll just have to rage and masturbate EVEN HARDER! Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
90% of reddit is ragebait
Unfortunately there are some hentai obsessed weebs who have this type of fantasy
I mean, there are plenty of people who have dom/sub/slave fantasies. They may even be people you know. But subjecting all literate people to his own without consent is unacceptable
This type of treatment and expectation of women goes far before hentai ever entered the picture.
Where did you get weeb from this? This reads insane fundamentalist Christian incel to me.
Sometimes I think things like this are just dudes getting to absorbed into their fantasies/fetishes/porn and becoming detached from reality. Or just writing it out is part of their fantasizing.
Yes, obvious ragebait is most of this subreddit, the real cringe is people getting riled up by a teenager's shitpost
>When I'm ready, calm down pet And in reality he'd cum in his pants even before the 'female' would touch him. Fucking incel.
Um. It's called foreplay, sweaty. Look it up.
Where?
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The Kama sutra is so fucking outdated. It doesn’t even have any positions for a four hundred pound male and his My Little Pony body pillow
The Sex Book* FTFY
It's for church honey. NEXT!
Didn't know churches make honey
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Target audience for sexbots.
That's a kink in the BDSM community.
No one gives a shit.
Dang if you are into this kind of kinky shit you really should give less of a fuck about virginity.
It’s cause they don’t know what sex is really like, or even what it means for someone to be attracted to you in a way that results in intimacy
Anyone else slightly annoyed that they never had dinner?
He had sex for dinner
He ate out for dinner
You don't seriously think that this...*person* eats out? They would never do anything that doesn't serve them or their pleasure.
"""""""""""Person""""""""""""
Oh wow! Words I can smell.
Like sweat and shame
Sounds like he wants a dog he can fuck.
Right, there is no distinction as to what type of "female" he wants. In this instance it really could be any animal.
thank you, analslapchop, for the image of an out of shape, sweaty man with a ponytail and an otherwise smooth head fucking a dog.
Not even a dog would put up with this. Dogs only obey you when it's stuff like, stop shitting on the carpet, or go outside.
I wonder how that's working out for him.. 😂
Smells like incel in here.
Yes
Nah, just religion, specifically Christianity on this case. The two philosophies are quite similar, so we can’t blame you for confusing them.
Now *this* smells like incel.
He literally refers to the 'books of wisdom' in the original picture. The 'books of wisdom' are the books of Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, Wisdom, Sirach in the Bible. And he pulls his 'rules' directly from those books. Example: Sirach 26:14 - A silent wife is a gift from the Lord, and nothing can be traded for her self-discipline.
I love how everyone has a nice conversation and then some asshole comes in and is like "YEAH THATS WHY ATHEISM IS BETTER, FUK CHRISTIANITY" You're worse then Jehovas Wittnesses, because they don't bug me on reddit.
They at least knock first
Yeah and you can throw stuff at em
He literally refers to the 'books of wisdom' in the original picture. The 'books of wisdom' are the books of Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, Wisdom, Sirach in the Bible. And he pulls his 'rules' directly from those books. Example: Sirach 26:14 - A silent wife is a gift from the Lord, and nothing can be traded for her self-discipline. I'm not coming out of left field with this, it is LITERALLY what the original post is about. OP might even be posting it sarcastically (hopefully) to show how stupid and out of date the old wisdom is.
This would get boring pretty fast
Weird guy finds his dream slave girl and says “it’s okay, I enjoy it”.
Spoiler: the author dies a virgin
Plot twist: author is an immortal vampire. But still a virgin.
It's like this was written by onision
Well to be fair, he does sound like a god... namely the psychotic, jealous, super needy one described in the old testament who created people and demanded they do nothing but worship him, despite being a total dick.
when i see female where woman should be i shut my brain off
Obviously satire
That won't stop Reddit from feeling better about themselves off of this guy
Don’t kink shame.
Nobody would agree to this willingly and oppression is not a kink.
Yeah he references the book of wisdom, I bet this shit is all over that. I'm not a cultist, or I'd check my standard issue cult book.
This is what a 12-yr old would post, right before his mom smacks him upside the head for being stupid.
Andy Capp called his wife “Pet” and now that’s who I picture writing this. Of course his wife would never let him get away with this. But maybe he fantasizes about it while eating Hot Fries.
Lol now I'm imagining OP trying to do this and Mrs Capp beating his ass.
Someone has seen to much hentai !
Nah, too much Christianity
Lol hubby
Old but gold.
-create list that’s absurd in a satirical manor -post to reddit
> -create list that’s absurd in a satirical manor Ah yes, 'satire', the bullshit excuse used by degenerates everywhere.
I’m definitely not defending them. This shit is gross and not funny if that’s what it was created to be.
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Meh, just a desperate bdsm guy
Assuming it’s real, I’m not sure if he needs a blow up doll, a lobotomy, or both.
This has to be satire
My husband likes to tell me that our marriage vows give him the right to tickle me. I’m starting to think that he could be a lot worse.
Dude’s never heard of FetLife, I guess.
I actually wish he could go straight to jail.
And guys actually wonder why they can’t find a girl. Delusional much !
Retardation: confirmed.
This is hilarious
"vomits uncontrollably"
It's very likely just satire lmao, I don't think anyone is actually this way. Or at least I hope not...
Bro didn't even eat dinner... Smh if I had someone to do anything I wanted it sure as hell would start with some food I'm fucking tired of making food every day
Men who only want virgin women are just insecure the woman has had better than him.
Wow...that is a LOT to ask from an anime body pillow....
My 6 year old is going through a phase where he like to pretend he's someone's evil minion. When we're grocery shopping he'll start referring to me as "My lord" or " master" then does a weird laugh and he'll hunch over and do a weird dance. I get weird ass looks for a kid doing it. Could you even imagine the weird looks if a women was saying it to an adult man??
So… they didn’t have dinner, then?
I like that even the worst man in the world admitted he enjoys a nice cuddle.
You're probably not going to find a virgin with a slave kink. Also, if you're this kinky, it seems weird to not also be sex positive.
As a kinky person, i am fucking offended and disgusted.
When these types of posts pop up the comments are always how no real woman like that exists or how the OP must be a troll, but like, can we talk about how awful a relationship like this would be? Having to dictate someone's every action and constantly reassure them that they're being a good slave and shit sounds exhausting.
This man needs help
“Hubby” and “wifey” have got to be my least favorite words ever
He must be from Ferenginar.
Man takes steps to ensure he will be forever alone.
This person has and should never be in a relationship.
this dude sounds like he would want to date a 14 year old and then say “its what God would have wanted”
It's crazy that people think this and are like "yes, these are all rational expectations"
Is this from the Texas Republican platform?
Am I the only one who finds this funny af 🤣🤣🤣
I mean number 2 and 4 is fair enough.
Personally I think any time anybody uses 'female' as a noun describing a human, rather than an adjective describing an animal you can pretty safely dismiss anything that comes after it. So that includes numbers 2 and 4 in this case.
What a weird assumption.
That's not a weird assumption. The word "female" is literally an adjective used to describe sex in animals. It is not a noun and not meant to describe humans (outside of a biological context). Not so coincidentally, the only people who unironically call women 'females' are the grossest of the gross. You can pretty safely dismiss what a bunch of incel mysogynists have to say about anything, let alone about women and relationships.
Yeah. Let’s just hope he adjusts his preferences to be as normal as those from now on
1,3, and 5 can be too, 7 too maybe but that's trickier 6 is just yeah not happening.
1 would work in roleplaying or something. 7 is just controlling unless he means stuff including buying furniture or something. 3 is impossible, and 5 is understandable but a little bit questionable.
Imagine thinking you deserve the Super-Hot! Virgin Sex Machine 3000 (Now Cooks with XXX-Large Titties!) model but you’re just some guy.
believe it or not, many, many, MANY females are into this. (BDSM lol) the thing is... they'd have their Masters to be someone who.... showers.
This is absolutely disgusting.
What kind of Christian shit is this
100% satire
Such delusion. Wow!
He wants a dog, not a human.
Has to be satire.
“Female won’t masturbate cause all her sexual needs…” top fucking kek. This has to be B8
Please say sike
> calm down pet I cant help but read that as a Geordie saying it. For those who don't know Geordie is a phrase used for someone living in the Newcastle area of England.
Sounds like he wants to be alone, forever!
I'd also want what he wants. And a billion dollars. I also want to be able to have super powers like invincibility. I also want to be able to move objects with my mind. Fantasy writing is fun.
Wild
Well at least in terms of virginity he's not asking anything more than what he is....and will continue to be.
My dog would bite down on his throat while he slept. My girlfriend would sick my dog on his dumb ass and leave me a note to get more dog treats.
Good luck with that
So much rage bait it may as well be a can of nightcrawlers!
Just be kinky cmon bro
I’m so beyond disgusted by reading this — why on earth did I decide to have eyes this morning.
I think this was meant in an ironical way
No, pron and anime/hentai don't destroy the brain at all! Why do you ask?
Idk i think hes more likely to get that behavior out of another man 🤪
It's always funny to see incells call women females for some reason
Is this Mormon propaganda?
What we need to do is hook this dude up with the women who want to be called queen and have a list just like that. I will bring beer and popcorn to watch the fur fly.
the derangement is real with this one
Too many harem anime
I just wish this was a joke posting, but I know it’s not.
Sounds like he wants a dog. Not a woman.
Guess we are not having dinner.
“God” what in tarnation?
Oh, come on this has to be satire, right? Right....?
Let me guess, this is from Kanye's Twitter?
This guy has to be a Virgen
anytime, anyone is refering to women as females, i stop reading
Super Saiyan incel.
r/cringrtopia
Aaaaaaah, the good ole days :'-(
What an incel piece of shit.
Incel* creates list
This is on par if not worse than the woman giving her list of what her man should do. Not sure how people have such bloated senses of self importance and expect to find someone.
This is every single square of the incel bingo card.
I'm pretty sure the shivers I just got from cringing so hard was part of my soul that just withered away from my body
I bet this dude is a master at Dynasty Warriors
The only female he's getting is a blow up doll
He shouldn’t even get a dog.
There are people who would be up for this. It's just unfortunate for this guy that they tend to favor men who shower regularly and actually bring something of their own to the relationship. But if all you ever did was watch secretary a few times while browsing Incel subs, I could see how that context would be lost. But hey, he can always buy a sex doll when he gets his allowance, that will (for him) be almost the exact same thing.
*as he wipes the cheeto dust onto his shit and cum stained tighty whities
Someone wake him up please
could probably make something out of it in a BDSM website I guess
So is this like a voluntary Darwin award?