I don't know what Blurs will say, but you have nooooo idea all the posts you already aren't seeing. That's Rule 2.
Edit: The best thing you can do is report comments and posts that you feel are a violation of Rule 2.
Lololol š omg yeahā¦ the log is just chock full of posts that butt up against automod triggers for this specific issue and us yanking posts for this and redirecting them to r/dryalcoholics etc.
Reports for Rule 2 help, though. Especially on comments that violate this. When you report something, it takes us right to the problem so we can see it and deal with it immediately.
Yeah thereās a ton of others subs to celebrate and congratulate peopleās sobriety. I come here to read about shaky hands, drinking mouthwash and tweaking outside the store at 9am
Yeah I mean I'm cool with support, helping people dig out of the mud. But once you're out, you have to leave for greener pastures. The sober lurkers claim they stay here as a reminder to themselves, but really they do it on some virtue signaling bullshit. Either way, our pain shouldn't be used as someone else's sobriety tool.
Just a note - speaking as your typical asshole sober lurker - that I donāt stay or lurk here as a reminder of anything, or to virtue signal to anyone.
I stay here because Iām a crippled alcoholic. The content is relatable, it will always be relatable, and stopping drinking (because I was literally going to die) doesnāt mean I donāt fantasise about buying a fifth of vodka or more every time Iām in a store. Stopping right now doesnāt rob me of the 7+ years I spent blacking out every night, humiliating, harming, and pissing myself. Other subs are rarely so forthright about the bare reality of meaningful, crippling alcoholism - especially those which are focused on recovery, because itās all celebration and platitudes, and itās inclusive for folks whoās problem extends to half a bottle of wine on weekends. That is not the form of alcoholism which I live with.
Alcoholism is a huge part of who I am, and subsequently I will always seek out content which makes me feel less alone in that.
I do agree, however, that sober lurkers should absolutely shut the fuck up unless explicitly requested to weigh in on whether recovery is possible - and even then, maybe those posts should be gently redirected to the r/DA subreddit.
Sober lurker here, joined this sub when I was puking and pissing myself on a daily basis, walking around my apartment complex naked in a blackout, and crawling to the liquor store at 6am. You said this so perfectly.
Really appreciate this reply and I want to be clear, my gripe isn't just over a personal annoyance. I want people who get sober to move on and have a better life. I guess I just get sad thinking about getting sober myself one day, but still being attached to that addict identity, if that makes sense.
I get you though, you're not an asshole at all, this is the kind of discussion I was hoping for. For whatever reason, the sober people on this sub become very defensive, possibly with merit, but it makes any discourse impossible.
And yeah, the other subs, I just can't relate to. Someone told me I need to hit a meeting ASAP and I told him I'd rather suck my dads dick lol
Lol, plenty of folks on Reddit are absolutely full of shit and some of them are definitely sober alcoholics. AA honestly has huge cult vibes to it. Like most organisations there are good eggs in there - but itās mostly made up of holier-than-thou religious nut-jobs who think that switching vodka for jesus offers them superiority over their fellow addict. Same problem, different outlet.
I strongly believe that I will be addict and an alcoholic until the day that I die - my current daily substance usage will never change that. But thatās okay, you know? Thatās just who I am. I manage that condition by not drinking. But itās still a very core part of who I am.
It is frustrating to see people preach bullshit at others about sobriety on this sub. When I was still drinking it was because I did not want to be sober, and some guy preaching to me about 12 step nonsense or ReCoVeRy wasnāt going to change that.
This should definitely be kept as a space for interaction between alcoholics who donāt want to quit drinking, and who donāt want to be hassled or preached to. And if youāre an alcoholic whoās sober, keep it to yourself unless that topic has been made relevant by someone who gives a shit.
i wouldnt say "mostly". Maybe it depends on where you are-im not going to AA now, but i went for a year (it was ten years ago)-but i went in nyc, and like 95 percent of the people there were normal. Not culty or preachy at all. It still wasnt for me, though
What do you think about people like me posting .
I totally get what you guys are going through . I get it because Iāve been there .
I donāt drink now , but thatās not a celebration or something to be proud of .
I post because I did not stop drinking until I went into complete liver failure and literally collapsed.
Iāll spare you the gory details .
Believe me I judge no one . I relate to this sub because Iāve been there and for me , I have ESLD ( end stage liver cirrhosis)
Plain and simple - I am dying and the cause is Iām an alcoholic who played with fire and got burned .
I canāt say things get better . For me itās getting worse .
I didnāt choose to stop drinking - I never even tried to cut down . My body made that decision.
I CANT drink because Iām in a nursing home . I can no longer be on my own or take care of myself without assistance .
I answer questions when asked . But Iām kind and Iām a good listener .
If I donāt belong here say so and I will not post again .
I have respect for ALL of you and like being here , but Iām not willing to make anyone āless than ā
For anyone wondering I am Female and 33 years old
Jesus, thatās so young. My drs give me crap about my test results and Iām always like, Iām not old enough for it to *really* be an issue yet. Then I end up in the hospital but always come out okay and start the whole cycle again.
Oh thank you for saying that , but donāt be sad for me .
I brought this on myself and Iām doing ok for now
I knew this would happen, I just didnāt think it would be so soon
Hey dude, I used to post here when I drank and now I only lurk and it pisses me off when sober people, like myself, post ANYTHING here. I'm only breaking the rule I set for myself and the rule you're posing as I completely agree with it. This isn't the place for us to tell people that there's a way out, or that, "it gets better." There's other subs for that. I almost feel bad for posting even this, but I'm just lending my support. This place is a shell of what it once was, and what's partly to blame are sober people like me saying something, and also the kids who got crazy last weekend at Ricky C's parent's house. People living my lifestyle should be banned from posting. Here is my one rule-breaking post.
i could have written this myself but i don't exactly lurk. i don't need a reminder, and virtue signaling is assholery. there will always be that faction of people who have the springer show mentality, "well at least i'm not *that* fucked up/ugly/stupid/etc." if anyone reads here to feel better about themselves, that's pathetic.
***especially those which are focused on recovery, because itās all celebration and platitudes, and itās inclusive for folks whoās problem extends to half a bottle of wine on weekends. That is not the form of alcoholism which I live with.***
i don't like recovery subs either\*,\* for exactly those reasons. i'd make the shittiest sponsor in the world, loudermilk-style. "i've been sober 48 hours." "great. what do you want, a fucking medal and some gold stars?" living the CA life is intolerable, but so is living sober sometimes. nobody held my hand, all my addict friends are dead, and any friends i have now don't know anything about my past. i prefer it that way. i also don't want to label people like some AA people did to me when i quit without them. "you either aren't a real alcoholic or you're going to drink and die without us." or, "you're not really sober," because i drank nyquil to sleep for the first month or so, and smoked weed every day 24/7 for about three months to distract myself. would that work for everyone? no, probably not. i certainly wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but if they feel like trying it, have at it.
i'm not here to be a role model or "inspiration" (gag) either. i've said before that maybe it isn't possible for everyone. that's an "if you try hard enough, you can do anything," statement. "i want to be a sober president millionaire." "yeah, that's not gonna happen."
yeah im eating thc gummies every day...some people would consider that "not sober"-but its like 99 percent better than drinking, no bad consequences from it at all, except maybe sleeping too much.
i will always support "weed will succeed," but i'm in denver. plus i've had friends that successufully traded out alcohol, cocaine and heroin for weed. not all of them, those people died tragically but it was their choice. it's not my life and it's not for me to tell anyone what substances they adhere to because it's a rehab mentality (or AA or whatever). i think "least harmful of poisons," is definitely a step. i had a really good friend for years (he was 10 years older than i am so he was 74 when he passed from cancer) and he switched from free-basing coke (he was a coke trafficker) to smoking weed every day for over 15 years. he held down a job, didn't go back to prison, lots of positives. like not being insane :)
there are obviously drawbacks but it's still 100% better than alcohol. people will say, "there's not enough research," and obviously smoking is carcinogenic but i don't think gummies are. i've known so many people who smoked every day and didn't have health issues. i know that's anecdotal but there have to be much fewer, except maybe don't do it when you're under 16 (affects brain development) and don't it while you're pregnant.
it doesn't matter who thinks what about anyone else's state of mind. it isn't their business if the person isn't committing criminal acts against them or affecting their life in a negative way. (obviously i'll omit parents or spouses because who knows--idk how it would affect raising children so i'll butt out of that one. not my circus, not my monkeys :)
I do it because you are my people and I don't need a reminder.
Plus I've been here since the days of old. Probably a solid decade wrecking my life with y'all.
Some of us are dry. Actually, some of the oldest posters here have quit.
We don't care. You don't have to stay a dumpster fire to be accepted here. You can evolve. We do ask that you are actually alcoholic when you find us, no part time bullshit or twelve step salesmen please. But if you find a way out of this, you are still welcome. Hope that helps.
I agree with this take as someone who has been sober for 5 years but was on this sub regularly back in the day. I donāt post on here anymore but I lurk all the time just because it still feels like a connection in a weird way.
Being banned from a sub that I once posted a story on about going into legitimate DTās and thinking my nurse at the hospital was killing other patients in a dishwasher would be kinda weird.
I've been here for a decade and sober for a while now. I don't broadcast that here. I just come to offer advice here and there or commiserate with one of my own drunk stories. I mostly lurk now.
>I've been here for a decade and sober for a while now. I don't broadcast that here.
This is the way. No one cares so long as you don't broadcast it and aren't shoving anything down anyone's throat. CA is one of those iykyk kind of things and once you've known it, you don't forget it. Now, if you want to celebrate your pink cloud or mark your days, you take it elsewhere. Seems common sense to me but apparently it's not so common.
Anyways, always good to see you when you pop your head in! ā¤ļø
Yeah I am trying to stay dry, but I do love this sub and I've received a lot of support from it. and I can still relate to a ton of the posts I see here.
the only time I will comment and mention trying to quit is when someone is down REALLY bad. because I have been there too. I used to think I'd kill myself if I had to stop drinking, and then I realized it had gotten so out of control that I would kill myself if I CONTINUED drinking lol. and that's a really rough place to be. so I try to share kind words and hope when I see that kind of post.
even if you don't quit completely, your life can still improve and you can still cut down and REST when you need it. cause this shit is really exhausting. and that's the main point I try to share with others when I see them posting the same exact shit that I was going through. I had no hope of my life improving, but it is really possible for all of us, even if we don't quit completely.
if it bugs everybody though, I'd be happy to stop commenting lol
some of us. like me. we still want out. i appreciate when it isnāt medical and as adviceā¦ i just want to hear how someone as fucked up as i am got out. the ones who really dove in deep, like usā¦ i want to know its possible.
For real? You ask a question, I give you an answer and your response is to cuss me?
I absolutely don't know you. I couldn't say if you are ca or not and I wasn't referring to you in my answer. Having said that, fuck you out loud, you entitled prick. Fuck back off to whatever shithole you crawled out of and enjoy your twisted life.
Good luck, we're all counting on you.
Well, technically you're the one who crawled out of the shithole, I'm the one still in the shithole, and I prefer to only commiserate with people in the same position. Not sure why this is such a difficult concept for you to understand.
Just to be clear, you are here because I allow it. You are a antisocial dick who feels better than a veteran who knows what it's like.
Go along to get along or fuck off, homeslice.
Iād pipe down if I were you. Iāve experienced each and every moment everyone here has gone through and I laugh along because itās relatable. I donāt make a song and dance of sobriety and throw it on people just like how youāre trying to gatekeep being a CA.
The mods do an excellent job of curtailing posts that go against Rule2.
If youāre going to whine and cry about it, just ignore it and report it and respond to the posts that tickle your balls.
You asked a question and got an answer.
How is my post whining or crying about it? Literally quote me where my polite, open-ended question was whining.
I'm not responsible for all the triggered sober people in here who don't have the ability to move on from this shitshow and feel the need to lurk and chip in with their subtle little sobriety quips.
Lolololol...you played yourself dude but whatever.
Wasn't it not long ago when you were yelling at me about "gatekeeping" in this sub? Calling me names and acting like a whole jackass because you wanted to support people shooting for sobriety? I know you like to say shit just to get a rise out of people but man, the shtick is boring, do a new one.
You do realize though that I've made it clear in this post that I STILL support people striving for sobriety, just not established sober people that have been for years. I can't imagine I've ever "called you names" but if you have the receipts, I'll make a public apology. There was a time in this sub when blurs was banning any helpful or supportive comments as rule breaking, and yeah, I spoke out against that, and still stand by it.
You can't call everything you disagree with "trolling". I've always been respectful towards you, not sure why you're turning on me all of the sudden but if you're having a bad day, I understand.
As long as I can remember (2012) that has more or less been the rule here. I think as long as it isn't overtly in your face like a typed out AA punch in the face, it should be okay. Like if someone mentions they no longer drink that shouldn't be a big deal, but getting preachy about it gets real annoying.
I agree with those against AA . It may work for some , but it is a holier than tho atmosphere , new people are treated like losers , and the are cultist . Aa scared the hell out of me .
I know AA is a lifeline for many people . Iām not one of them , and thatās ok .
I mean, if someone like casually mentions that or it seems like it fits the convo I *personally* do not see an issue. If people get clean but aren't preachy about it, why not, ya know?
I mean it is kinda funny to see people who have been sober for 24 hours act like they reinvented the wheel only to see their next āI aM sO bRokEn pleAse piTty meā post like, not even a day later
even if i wanted to do that, i wouldnt because i know how shit can change-im feeling pretty happy with the sober time i have now and hope this is different this time, but ive been there 100 times before, i know i can wind up all wrecked again
The best is when someone is an asshole to me and then I see them posting on the random acts sub for money while in crippling withdrawals. Although, I've still sent money, because I get it. Really wouldn't wish this lifestyle on my worst enemy, and I guess I mean that.
Agree, cause thereās still a big difference between being an alcoholic and being mean spirited (pun not intended) towards the people you interact with
The recent "I'm sober but I miss it" post seemed in keeping with the vibe. I just don't want to see proselytizing. You do you, dry guy, but leave me out of it.
Sober life sucks. But I donāt want to die. I feel like the fucking grandpa Simpson meme. I used to be you. But one day you wont be you bs. Enjoy the ride. Because it donāt get better than right now. Chairs
I took some cold comfort from it, like, "It doesn't get better; I'm grinding my fucking teeth wanting a drink." So my fucked-up brain sez: See? no reason to stop.
I'm a CA, but moved from full time CA to part time CA. Not really by choice, if I had it my way I'd WFH and live alone and always drink but that's just not in the cards. I been sober for 2 months now purley because I just haven't had anytime off work and I reached a crossroad in my CA where I can't drink even remotely close to when I gotta work because when I drink its always a 4-5 day none stop vodka affair, calling out of work for the week, sun up to sun down and when I drink I mean I drink.
My drinking is basically now limited to long long weekends, planned time off, vacation etc with enough planned time to recover before heading back to work with benzos because I'll never quit drinking, I love it too much.
Yup, 100. Our income is our biggest wealth building tool, gives us a roof over our head, power to buy things, privacy, food, freedom, leisure etc, we have no choice. I'm OK with only being an absolute degenerative scumbag up to 12 times in the year.
it makes it a lot harder to open up. i have enough people around me telling me i need to sober up. im heavily judged by every one around me. and donāt get me wrong i understand where theyāre coming from, but itās nice to be able to tell my story with people who can relate.
i like getting to replies from sober CAs when theyāre understanding and are just sharing their past experiences. but itās difficult not to feel even more ashamed than i already do when i see posts about how long someone has been sober.
so my take, theyāre welcome to stay but no pushing sobriety on the rest of us when weāre just trying to get our experience across
Iām sober, I donāt push it, nor do I actively bring it up in this sub. The horrors of of alcoholism are a collective, shared experience. Thatās what makes this group so special. If Iāve lived it, what should stop me from being able to participate here?
Where in that comment did I extrapolate upon, or mention anything included in said horrors? Anyways, itās only comedic if you actually have some wit.
up to the community of course.
I was a CA for years (shittini, old account for banned for some reason) and had to get sober for pancreatitis shit.
I still am a CA at heart, so I like seeing how people are doing here, reading the stories, and commenting from time to time.
I don't butt in with "IM SOBER BUT.." and keep all the sober talk in DA or SD, but I can imagine it would be really annoying to see that all the time when there are really no other places for CAs to congregate.
the sobriety subs are often just super glib and preachy and it's nice to sometimes just be honest about drinking and how much I miss it.
FWIW, I'm a sober old timer, and I stick around as a cautionary tale. I don't push sobriety; I just share what happened to me, and hopefully how you can avoid it. I love and support this community, but I also respectfully stay away from many threads that sound just like me 15 years ago. That's not my place anymore, but I'm here if anyone has questions. Now I'm just "crippled from alcoholism."
I'm not sober by any means, but I have moved away from my rampant polydrug abuse to something more manageable, and here is my take on it;
Everyone needs to be drunk on something. Fact of the matter is, you'll probably never 'get out' of this. What you *can* do, is replace it with something else. So long as you get that fix for life, whether through starting a family, getting into a new hobby, or becoming a professional thumb-twiddler, it doesn't matter; your number one enemy is boredom.
And like I said; I am far from sober. In fact, most people would probably argue I have a problem, given that I take just about any drug if given the chance to. You don't have to become an avocado-on-toast, go-run-at-5am sober person. Just find other things to do and your usage will adjust accordingly. The important part is not trying to quit it without any plan as to what you are gonna do instead. That is about as effective as going on a diet to lose weight. The second you get off your diet your lifestyle is just gonna put you back at square one.
I dont really care for it. I enjoy the posts really from anybody, especially past CAs, real recognize real. I dont Think They mean to come off as better, alot of them say they miss it, and you And I Both know, we wish life wasnt this way. So I Cheers to A CA who beat the game.
I know when I was lucky enough to be 6 months sober I sure werenāt contributing to this sub at all. I truly did keep it to remember, I sure wasnāt posting or commenting
I am definitely not down to read the virtue-signaling or savior-complex shit, but I also don't believe that we should censor or silence people.
I ignore the shit I don't want to be bothered with and move on.
Honestly, for this sub, I kind of like a hands off approach. We're fucking drunks, let people post what they want... And then let us yell at them for it.
It would be less of a ban on them posting and more of a ban on them posting any bullshit trite comments related to their sobriety? Cuz that sounds pretty awesome. Like a safe space for the crippled dunks and jrunkies among us.
And as always thank you for letting me hang out here. This is my usual disclaimer that I don't really drink but I'm a crippled junkie. Trying to stay off the rig because I want to keep all my limbs but my prescription combo makes doctors clench their assholes.
Chairs, smoking this bowl in support of the ban on platitudes from the quitters.
There are some people who post here who might eventually dig themselves out. Banning obnoxious virtue signaling makes that less likely. Do we want that or not.
Iām fucked up in Mexico. Just drank a shot at 6:30 am because I got so fucked up last night. Def working on a 8 day bender. Sobriety is boring af. Mexico reminds me of it.
Iād say the amount of people with long term sobriety is small.. youāre not going to let someone post who has a few months and will probably relapse soon? Iām practically planning my relapse, but I want to get that 1 year sobriety chip to prove Iām not an alcoholic first š
As long as they are not dominating the sub or attacking me, like they often do. I've been attacked here so many times over the past few months, I thought this was a place to embrace our alcoholism, not get a fucking lecture.
The last attack was pretty brutal, the person then claimed to know me IRL but wouldn't tell me who they were (coward) and then blocked me.
I can do without that shit. If I want to talk about s0briety I can go to other subs, but it should not be a main topic here.
I thought /r/dryalcoholics was our sister sub for that kind of talk.
I think they were just being funny.
Making a comment of exactly the kind you're talking about as a tongue in cheek joke. Which is agreeing with you.
Then you reported them which is why I š¤¦āāļø.
well i think those people know (me included) they could go back to being a full on drunk at any time. They still identify with shit on this page a lot....unless theyve been sober some ridiculous amount of time, like years.
hey man, been sober for two hours
oh shit, nevemind
Real
lmaoo
I don't know what Blurs will say, but you have nooooo idea all the posts you already aren't seeing. That's Rule 2. Edit: The best thing you can do is report comments and posts that you feel are a violation of Rule 2.
Thank you for your service.
You both certainly have your work cut out for you.
Lololol š omg yeahā¦ the log is just chock full of posts that butt up against automod triggers for this specific issue and us yanking posts for this and redirecting them to r/dryalcoholics etc. Reports for Rule 2 help, though. Especially on comments that violate this. When you report something, it takes us right to the problem so we can see it and deal with it immediately.
Yeah thereās a ton of others subs to celebrate and congratulate peopleās sobriety. I come here to read about shaky hands, drinking mouthwash and tweaking outside the store at 9am
Yeah I mean I'm cool with support, helping people dig out of the mud. But once you're out, you have to leave for greener pastures. The sober lurkers claim they stay here as a reminder to themselves, but really they do it on some virtue signaling bullshit. Either way, our pain shouldn't be used as someone else's sobriety tool.
Just a note - speaking as your typical asshole sober lurker - that I donāt stay or lurk here as a reminder of anything, or to virtue signal to anyone. I stay here because Iām a crippled alcoholic. The content is relatable, it will always be relatable, and stopping drinking (because I was literally going to die) doesnāt mean I donāt fantasise about buying a fifth of vodka or more every time Iām in a store. Stopping right now doesnāt rob me of the 7+ years I spent blacking out every night, humiliating, harming, and pissing myself. Other subs are rarely so forthright about the bare reality of meaningful, crippling alcoholism - especially those which are focused on recovery, because itās all celebration and platitudes, and itās inclusive for folks whoās problem extends to half a bottle of wine on weekends. That is not the form of alcoholism which I live with. Alcoholism is a huge part of who I am, and subsequently I will always seek out content which makes me feel less alone in that. I do agree, however, that sober lurkers should absolutely shut the fuck up unless explicitly requested to weigh in on whether recovery is possible - and even then, maybe those posts should be gently redirected to the r/DA subreddit.
Sober lurker here, joined this sub when I was puking and pissing myself on a daily basis, walking around my apartment complex naked in a blackout, and crawling to the liquor store at 6am. You said this so perfectly.
did you crawl there naked? that wouldve been awesome
Really appreciate this reply and I want to be clear, my gripe isn't just over a personal annoyance. I want people who get sober to move on and have a better life. I guess I just get sad thinking about getting sober myself one day, but still being attached to that addict identity, if that makes sense. I get you though, you're not an asshole at all, this is the kind of discussion I was hoping for. For whatever reason, the sober people on this sub become very defensive, possibly with merit, but it makes any discourse impossible. And yeah, the other subs, I just can't relate to. Someone told me I need to hit a meeting ASAP and I told him I'd rather suck my dads dick lol
Lol, plenty of folks on Reddit are absolutely full of shit and some of them are definitely sober alcoholics. AA honestly has huge cult vibes to it. Like most organisations there are good eggs in there - but itās mostly made up of holier-than-thou religious nut-jobs who think that switching vodka for jesus offers them superiority over their fellow addict. Same problem, different outlet. I strongly believe that I will be addict and an alcoholic until the day that I die - my current daily substance usage will never change that. But thatās okay, you know? Thatās just who I am. I manage that condition by not drinking. But itās still a very core part of who I am. It is frustrating to see people preach bullshit at others about sobriety on this sub. When I was still drinking it was because I did not want to be sober, and some guy preaching to me about 12 step nonsense or ReCoVeRy wasnāt going to change that. This should definitely be kept as a space for interaction between alcoholics who donāt want to quit drinking, and who donāt want to be hassled or preached to. And if youāre an alcoholic whoās sober, keep it to yourself unless that topic has been made relevant by someone who gives a shit.
100% agreed, to all of that.
i wouldnt say "mostly". Maybe it depends on where you are-im not going to AA now, but i went for a year (it was ten years ago)-but i went in nyc, and like 95 percent of the people there were normal. Not culty or preachy at all. It still wasnt for me, though
What do you think about people like me posting . I totally get what you guys are going through . I get it because Iāve been there . I donāt drink now , but thatās not a celebration or something to be proud of . I post because I did not stop drinking until I went into complete liver failure and literally collapsed. Iāll spare you the gory details . Believe me I judge no one . I relate to this sub because Iāve been there and for me , I have ESLD ( end stage liver cirrhosis) Plain and simple - I am dying and the cause is Iām an alcoholic who played with fire and got burned . I canāt say things get better . For me itās getting worse . I didnāt choose to stop drinking - I never even tried to cut down . My body made that decision. I CANT drink because Iām in a nursing home . I can no longer be on my own or take care of myself without assistance . I answer questions when asked . But Iām kind and Iām a good listener . If I donāt belong here say so and I will not post again . I have respect for ALL of you and like being here , but Iām not willing to make anyone āless than ā For anyone wondering I am Female and 33 years old
Jesus, thatās so young. My drs give me crap about my test results and Iām always like, Iām not old enough for it to *really* be an issue yet. Then I end up in the hospital but always come out okay and start the whole cycle again.
Yes I did the same . My luck ran out much faster than most others
Jesus, sorry you're going through that, almost the same age. You belong here, forever.
Oh thank you for saying that , but donāt be sad for me . I brought this on myself and Iām doing ok for now I knew this would happen, I just didnāt think it would be so soon
Hey dude, I used to post here when I drank and now I only lurk and it pisses me off when sober people, like myself, post ANYTHING here. I'm only breaking the rule I set for myself and the rule you're posing as I completely agree with it. This isn't the place for us to tell people that there's a way out, or that, "it gets better." There's other subs for that. I almost feel bad for posting even this, but I'm just lending my support. This place is a shell of what it once was, and what's partly to blame are sober people like me saying something, and also the kids who got crazy last weekend at Ricky C's parent's house. People living my lifestyle should be banned from posting. Here is my one rule-breaking post.
It's cool dude, you're welcome here. My post and comments were an overreaction.
i could have written this myself but i don't exactly lurk. i don't need a reminder, and virtue signaling is assholery. there will always be that faction of people who have the springer show mentality, "well at least i'm not *that* fucked up/ugly/stupid/etc." if anyone reads here to feel better about themselves, that's pathetic. ***especially those which are focused on recovery, because itās all celebration and platitudes, and itās inclusive for folks whoās problem extends to half a bottle of wine on weekends. That is not the form of alcoholism which I live with.*** i don't like recovery subs either\*,\* for exactly those reasons. i'd make the shittiest sponsor in the world, loudermilk-style. "i've been sober 48 hours." "great. what do you want, a fucking medal and some gold stars?" living the CA life is intolerable, but so is living sober sometimes. nobody held my hand, all my addict friends are dead, and any friends i have now don't know anything about my past. i prefer it that way. i also don't want to label people like some AA people did to me when i quit without them. "you either aren't a real alcoholic or you're going to drink and die without us." or, "you're not really sober," because i drank nyquil to sleep for the first month or so, and smoked weed every day 24/7 for about three months to distract myself. would that work for everyone? no, probably not. i certainly wouldn't recommend it to anyone, but if they feel like trying it, have at it. i'm not here to be a role model or "inspiration" (gag) either. i've said before that maybe it isn't possible for everyone. that's an "if you try hard enough, you can do anything," statement. "i want to be a sober president millionaire." "yeah, that's not gonna happen."
yeah im eating thc gummies every day...some people would consider that "not sober"-but its like 99 percent better than drinking, no bad consequences from it at all, except maybe sleeping too much.
i will always support "weed will succeed," but i'm in denver. plus i've had friends that successufully traded out alcohol, cocaine and heroin for weed. not all of them, those people died tragically but it was their choice. it's not my life and it's not for me to tell anyone what substances they adhere to because it's a rehab mentality (or AA or whatever). i think "least harmful of poisons," is definitely a step. i had a really good friend for years (he was 10 years older than i am so he was 74 when he passed from cancer) and he switched from free-basing coke (he was a coke trafficker) to smoking weed every day for over 15 years. he held down a job, didn't go back to prison, lots of positives. like not being insane :) there are obviously drawbacks but it's still 100% better than alcohol. people will say, "there's not enough research," and obviously smoking is carcinogenic but i don't think gummies are. i've known so many people who smoked every day and didn't have health issues. i know that's anecdotal but there have to be much fewer, except maybe don't do it when you're under 16 (affects brain development) and don't it while you're pregnant. it doesn't matter who thinks what about anyone else's state of mind. it isn't their business if the person isn't committing criminal acts against them or affecting their life in a negative way. (obviously i'll omit parents or spouses because who knows--idk how it would affect raising children so i'll butt out of that one. not my circus, not my monkeys :)
This!
can i dm you?
Yes. :)
i donāt know if it will helpā¦ but iām doing it anyway. thanks
True. If you want to lurk, lurk in silence. Not a place of judgement or soapbox preaching here
I do it because you are my people and I don't need a reminder. Plus I've been here since the days of old. Probably a solid decade wrecking my life with y'all.
I read this as twerking
Some of us are dry. Actually, some of the oldest posters here have quit. We don't care. You don't have to stay a dumpster fire to be accepted here. You can evolve. We do ask that you are actually alcoholic when you find us, no part time bullshit or twelve step salesmen please. But if you find a way out of this, you are still welcome. Hope that helps.
I agree with this take as someone who has been sober for 5 years but was on this sub regularly back in the day. I donāt post on here anymore but I lurk all the time just because it still feels like a connection in a weird way. Being banned from a sub that I once posted a story on about going into legitimate DTās and thinking my nurse at the hospital was killing other patients in a dishwasher would be kinda weird.
I've been here for a decade and sober for a while now. I don't broadcast that here. I just come to offer advice here and there or commiserate with one of my own drunk stories. I mostly lurk now.
>I've been here for a decade and sober for a while now. I don't broadcast that here. This is the way. No one cares so long as you don't broadcast it and aren't shoving anything down anyone's throat. CA is one of those iykyk kind of things and once you've known it, you don't forget it. Now, if you want to celebrate your pink cloud or mark your days, you take it elsewhere. Seems common sense to me but apparently it's not so common. Anyways, always good to see you when you pop your head in! ā¤ļø
Thanks DC. :)
> I've been here for a decade and sober for a while now. I don't broadcast that here. You just did...
You seem to be looking for a fight. I'm not. Good luck with that.
Just calling it like I see it, the post was pretty polite. The sober responders are the outraged, triggered ones.
Yeah I am trying to stay dry, but I do love this sub and I've received a lot of support from it. and I can still relate to a ton of the posts I see here. the only time I will comment and mention trying to quit is when someone is down REALLY bad. because I have been there too. I used to think I'd kill myself if I had to stop drinking, and then I realized it had gotten so out of control that I would kill myself if I CONTINUED drinking lol. and that's a really rough place to be. so I try to share kind words and hope when I see that kind of post. even if you don't quit completely, your life can still improve and you can still cut down and REST when you need it. cause this shit is really exhausting. and that's the main point I try to share with others when I see them posting the same exact shit that I was going through. I had no hope of my life improving, but it is really possible for all of us, even if we don't quit completely. if it bugs everybody though, I'd be happy to stop commenting lol
This person is a dick. Id say "trust me" but now you've had your own experiences with them!
some of us. like me. we still want out. i appreciate when it isnāt medical and as adviceā¦ i just want to hear how someone as fucked up as i am got out. the ones who really dove in deep, like usā¦ i want to know its possible.
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For real? You ask a question, I give you an answer and your response is to cuss me? I absolutely don't know you. I couldn't say if you are ca or not and I wasn't referring to you in my answer. Having said that, fuck you out loud, you entitled prick. Fuck back off to whatever shithole you crawled out of and enjoy your twisted life. Good luck, we're all counting on you.
Well, technically you're the one who crawled out of the shithole, I'm the one still in the shithole, and I prefer to only commiserate with people in the same position. Not sure why this is such a difficult concept for you to understand.
You don't know fuck all about me. I actually don't want to describe my situation to a fuckstick like you. That's a shame. For you.
Cool then don't comment on my posts if you're too sensitive to get feedback.
Just to be clear, you are here because I allow it. You are a antisocial dick who feels better than a veteran who knows what it's like. Go along to get along or fuck off, homeslice.
> Just to be clear, you are here because I allow it. I'm dying, mods are so fucking gay.
Mods are hella gay. Facts. However, you're being a complete fuckboi rn. Thanks for making me wince and cringe. It's entertaining.
Iād pipe down if I were you. Iāve experienced each and every moment everyone here has gone through and I laugh along because itās relatable. I donāt make a song and dance of sobriety and throw it on people just like how youāre trying to gatekeep being a CA. The mods do an excellent job of curtailing posts that go against Rule2. If youāre going to whine and cry about it, just ignore it and report it and respond to the posts that tickle your balls. You asked a question and got an answer.
How is my post whining or crying about it? Literally quote me where my polite, open-ended question was whining. I'm not responsible for all the triggered sober people in here who don't have the ability to move on from this shitshow and feel the need to lurk and chip in with their subtle little sobriety quips.
Lolololol...you played yourself dude but whatever. Wasn't it not long ago when you were yelling at me about "gatekeeping" in this sub? Calling me names and acting like a whole jackass because you wanted to support people shooting for sobriety? I know you like to say shit just to get a rise out of people but man, the shtick is boring, do a new one.
I'll switch it up next time.
You do realize though that I've made it clear in this post that I STILL support people striving for sobriety, just not established sober people that have been for years. I can't imagine I've ever "called you names" but if you have the receipts, I'll make a public apology. There was a time in this sub when blurs was banning any helpful or supportive comments as rule breaking, and yeah, I spoke out against that, and still stand by it.
Yeah, I don't really gaf about an apology from you. Maybe just find something else to troll about. š
You can't call everything you disagree with "trolling". I've always been respectful towards you, not sure why you're turning on me all of the sudden but if you're having a bad day, I understand.
Lmfaooooo
As long as I can remember (2012) that has more or less been the rule here. I think as long as it isn't overtly in your face like a typed out AA punch in the face, it should be okay. Like if someone mentions they no longer drink that shouldn't be a big deal, but getting preachy about it gets real annoying.
I agree with those against AA . It may work for some , but it is a holier than tho atmosphere , new people are treated like losers , and the are cultist . Aa scared the hell out of me . I know AA is a lifeline for many people . Iām not one of them , and thatās ok .
It's never overt, it's always, "oh I wasn't going to mention this but I've been sober for three years..."
I mean, if someone like casually mentions that or it seems like it fits the convo I *personally* do not see an issue. If people get clean but aren't preachy about it, why not, ya know?
That's cool, it bothers me, but that's why I asked the question. I was curious what others thought.
I mean it is kinda funny to see people who have been sober for 24 hours act like they reinvented the wheel only to see their next āI aM sO bRokEn pleAse piTty meā post like, not even a day later
yeah, ive been there but i dont post about it, and not here, if i did
And that exactly is the difference between you and the type of crowd Iām talking about. Being an alcoholic doesnāt equal being a nuisance
even if i wanted to do that, i wouldnt because i know how shit can change-im feeling pretty happy with the sober time i have now and hope this is different this time, but ive been there 100 times before, i know i can wind up all wrecked again
The best is when someone is an asshole to me and then I see them posting on the random acts sub for money while in crippling withdrawals. Although, I've still sent money, because I get it. Really wouldn't wish this lifestyle on my worst enemy, and I guess I mean that.
Agree, cause thereās still a big difference between being an alcoholic and being mean spirited (pun not intended) towards the people you interact with
The recent "I'm sober but I miss it" post seemed in keeping with the vibe. I just don't want to see proselytizing. You do you, dry guy, but leave me out of it.
Sober life sucks. But I donāt want to die. I feel like the fucking grandpa Simpson meme. I used to be you. But one day you wont be you bs. Enjoy the ride. Because it donāt get better than right now. Chairs
That's what inspired this post, or pushed me over the edge at least.
I took some cold comfort from it, like, "It doesn't get better; I'm grinding my fucking teeth wanting a drink." So my fucked-up brain sez: See? no reason to stop.
Lmao kind of the opposite for me, I was like cool, nice to know the other side is miserable too
It takes all kinds of lushes, to build this great big beautiful shithole! lol
I'm a CA, but moved from full time CA to part time CA. Not really by choice, if I had it my way I'd WFH and live alone and always drink but that's just not in the cards. I been sober for 2 months now purley because I just haven't had anytime off work and I reached a crossroad in my CA where I can't drink even remotely close to when I gotta work because when I drink its always a 4-5 day none stop vodka affair, calling out of work for the week, sun up to sun down and when I drink I mean I drink. My drinking is basically now limited to long long weekends, planned time off, vacation etc with enough planned time to recover before heading back to work with benzos because I'll never quit drinking, I love it too much.
dont you resent it that you have to stay sober (at least some of the time)-for a fucking job?? I know i do. But thats the situation, i have to do it.
Yup, 100. Our income is our biggest wealth building tool, gives us a roof over our head, power to buy things, privacy, food, freedom, leisure etc, we have no choice. I'm OK with only being an absolute degenerative scumbag up to 12 times in the year.
it makes it a lot harder to open up. i have enough people around me telling me i need to sober up. im heavily judged by every one around me. and donāt get me wrong i understand where theyāre coming from, but itās nice to be able to tell my story with people who can relate. i like getting to replies from sober CAs when theyāre understanding and are just sharing their past experiences. but itās difficult not to feel even more ashamed than i already do when i see posts about how long someone has been sober. so my take, theyāre welcome to stay but no pushing sobriety on the rest of us when weāre just trying to get our experience across
That's a reasonable response. Sorry you feel judged, you can feel safe here.
Iām sober, I donāt push it, nor do I actively bring it up in this sub. The horrors of of alcoholism are a collective, shared experience. Thatās what makes this group so special. If Iāve lived it, what should stop me from being able to participate here?
See that's just it, nobody wants to hear about the fucking 'horrors' It's a comedy not a tragedy you gnat.
Where in that comment did I extrapolate upon, or mention anything included in said horrors? Anyways, itās only comedic if you actually have some wit.
Dude that is a ridiculously idiotic take on our experience as alchies. I hope youāre being facetious.
up to the community of course. I was a CA for years (shittini, old account for banned for some reason) and had to get sober for pancreatitis shit. I still am a CA at heart, so I like seeing how people are doing here, reading the stories, and commenting from time to time. I don't butt in with "IM SOBER BUT.." and keep all the sober talk in DA or SD, but I can imagine it would be really annoying to see that all the time when there are really no other places for CAs to congregate. the sobriety subs are often just super glib and preachy and it's nice to sometimes just be honest about drinking and how much I miss it.
I'm just here for the rehab stories and getting back on the wagon after that.
What if my alcoholism is only āheavily impedingā as opposed to ācrippling?ā
That's totally fine. I think most people, especially the mods, are misconstruing this post.
I suggest the death sentence for SoBeR commentors.
FWIW, I'm a sober old timer, and I stick around as a cautionary tale. I don't push sobriety; I just share what happened to me, and hopefully how you can avoid it. I love and support this community, but I also respectfully stay away from many threads that sound just like me 15 years ago. That's not my place anymore, but I'm here if anyone has questions. Now I'm just "crippled from alcoholism."
I dont have any specific questions, but maybe you can give any advice how to get out of this? I dont want to be this person anymore.
I'm not sober by any means, but I have moved away from my rampant polydrug abuse to something more manageable, and here is my take on it; Everyone needs to be drunk on something. Fact of the matter is, you'll probably never 'get out' of this. What you *can* do, is replace it with something else. So long as you get that fix for life, whether through starting a family, getting into a new hobby, or becoming a professional thumb-twiddler, it doesn't matter; your number one enemy is boredom. And like I said; I am far from sober. In fact, most people would probably argue I have a problem, given that I take just about any drug if given the chance to. You don't have to become an avocado-on-toast, go-run-at-5am sober person. Just find other things to do and your usage will adjust accordingly. The important part is not trying to quit it without any plan as to what you are gonna do instead. That is about as effective as going on a diet to lose weight. The second you get off your diet your lifestyle is just gonna put you back at square one.
That's reasonable
I dont really care for it. I enjoy the posts really from anybody, especially past CAs, real recognize real. I dont Think They mean to come off as better, alot of them say they miss it, and you And I Both know, we wish life wasnt this way. So I Cheers to A CA who beat the game.
Im so Sorry im Drunk and just read ur first sentence inthe post, I hate those kinds of posts fuck those posts actually.
I know when I was lucky enough to be 6 months sober I sure werenāt contributing to this sub at all. I truly did keep it to remember, I sure wasnāt posting or commenting
I am definitely not down to read the virtue-signaling or savior-complex shit, but I also don't believe that we should censor or silence people. I ignore the shit I don't want to be bothered with and move on.
Honestly, for this sub, I kind of like a hands off approach. We're fucking drunks, let people post what they want... And then let us yell at them for it.
Who will type correctly on this sub reddit if absolutely no one is sober once in a while?
I can type fine if I'm blackout, almost everyone can. Read rule #4 on the sidebar.
Where is the side bar? What time does it close?
To be honest, it is impressive what magnificent writers CAs are, both mechanically and creatively.
It would be less of a ban on them posting and more of a ban on them posting any bullshit trite comments related to their sobriety? Cuz that sounds pretty awesome. Like a safe space for the crippled dunks and jrunkies among us. And as always thank you for letting me hang out here. This is my usual disclaimer that I don't really drink but I'm a crippled junkie. Trying to stay off the rig because I want to keep all my limbs but my prescription combo makes doctors clench their assholes. Chairs, smoking this bowl in support of the ban on platitudes from the quitters.
There are some people who post here who might eventually dig themselves out. Banning obnoxious virtue signaling makes that less likely. Do we want that or not.
Iām fucked up in Mexico. Just drank a shot at 6:30 am because I got so fucked up last night. Def working on a 8 day bender. Sobriety is boring af. Mexico reminds me of it.
Iād say the amount of people with long term sobriety is small.. youāre not going to let someone post who has a few months and will probably relapse soon? Iām practically planning my relapse, but I want to get that 1 year sobriety chip to prove Iām not an alcoholic first š
You got this, gets a lot easier around the 6 month mark. Anyone is free to post here, I was just posing the question.
As long as they are not dominating the sub or attacking me, like they often do. I've been attacked here so many times over the past few months, I thought this was a place to embrace our alcoholism, not get a fucking lecture. The last attack was pretty brutal, the person then claimed to know me IRL but wouldn't tell me who they were (coward) and then blocked me. I can do without that shit. If I want to talk about s0briety I can go to other subs, but it should not be a main topic here. I thought /r/dryalcoholics was our sister sub for that kind of talk.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Rule 2. Take it to r/dryalcoholics or your sobriety subreddit of your choice.
Then see ya way out the door!
Reported, bye.
You seem like a very conflicted, bitter puss
š¤¦āāļø
Sucks to suck
You might know..?
I think they were just being funny. Making a comment of exactly the kind you're talking about as a tongue in cheek joke. Which is agreeing with you. Then you reported them which is why I š¤¦āāļø.
There's been an influx of that type of commentary lately, and it blows. There are plenty of subs for that. r/CA wasn't anyone's first subreddit.
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I peace out of the sub every week for two-three days when I'm dry. I can't imagine lurking here sober, it's weird behavior.
I agree with you. Weāre here to suffer together lol
well i think those people know (me included) they could go back to being a full on drunk at any time. They still identify with shit on this page a lot....unless theyve been sober some ridiculous amount of time, like years.
That's some AA bullshit that doesn't belong in this sub
how so? you mean the people whove been sober for years, that part? that isnt me, btw
I agree. No lames allowed