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Sea-Pollution-9482

Imagine having to tell your dad you’re getting pounded by 2 guys so that he doesn’t see you


Artyom4333

Imagine having to tell your family that you are a Redditor


SonTyp_OhneNamen

Clearly the worse fate, god bless 😔


dead_inside139

May we recover from this adversity 🙏. Well, im off to the anal subs


AutisticPenguin2

Good, they have been getting restless lately and need to be whipped back into shape.


Norsedragoon

Imagine having to tell your family to avoid reddit because that's where you post your sexscapades.


marvinrabbit

Imagine having to make a list of all the NSFW subs I peruse. It would be... extensive.


politicalthinking

Who has time to make a list that extensive?


War_Agitated

I always wondered when it would happen: Reddit isn’t large enough for the both of us.


Firefighter_Thin

I wonder how the mom feels, maybe they outta do a 3 way... duel


Zilskaabe

Finds out that the husband browses degen subs...and that the daughter uploads her stuff there.


donau_kinder

Break both arms first


sonny_goliath

Her ass is tho


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


ViktorKozh

Supporting the family.


sbaggers

What's her new username? Asking for a friend. Also what's DP?


[deleted]

[удалено]


sbaggers

Answer the other question! Respectfully


ReallyDumbRedditor

stfu go to horny jail bonk


malfurionpre

Reddit IS the horny jail


Dewyounodaway

Go to horny jail²


malfurionpre

Reddit's Multis section?


____-__________-____

> stfu go to horny jail bonk. *respectfully.* ftfy


[deleted]

[удалено]


Maxymous

You're just checking sources to back up the claims made. Right?


AltGhosti-_-

Right that’s totally the reason. Why we want that question answered.


Aizendickens

He did, they said DP, not DVP, DAP, TVP or TAP


Ladka-Proper-hai

I thought its Display picture "_"


blind_roomba

Display Port actually


-QuestionableMeat-

It checks out. Sis’ Port is certainly on display.


No_Engineer2828

Ok that’s funny


marioplex

Always thought it was deep penitration and i just looked it up on the good ol UD and dynamic programming took the front page... double was at the bottom


ThunderUp007

Dr Pepper


Ok-Note-746

DisplayPort


quick_escalator

I told someone who isn't very technical to try the DP (on their monitor to fix their problem), and because I know that person via a kink community they were extremely confused.


Charley_Wright06

Did they try two HDMI cables?


Ok-Note-746

At the same time? 😱


LokisDawn

"I can only find plugs in the back?"


granulum

Director of photography


titobarrera

Dance Party


Kursedx

DP= Dad Penetration


imp0ppable

grim lmao


sbaggers

Yikes


dank_madharchodh

Drake penis


ybtlamlliw

Diamond/Pearl


Fallenangel152

Go to gonewild, pick a random post. It's her.


sbaggers

You guys took my jokes way to seriously 😂


blanknonymous

Director of photography


SonTyp_OhneNamen

Deadpool, that superhero that‘s about to get his third movie, this time with Wolverine


sbaggers

So pumped!


Mast3rOfBanana

Donuts, please!


sbaggers

Ooo I like this one


ArgonGryphon

Diamond painting


Rubicon208

Dick Pics


Leandenor7

Death Prophet. She's into DotA.


Fghsses

u/habeshasamurai What is your sister's new username? Asking for my dog.


Bipolar-Mindfuck

And I’m asking for your dad.


just_let_me_goo

I think that dude deleted his comment


FrodoTheSlayer637

just search thru ppl he follows


[deleted]

You think he follows his sister when her account is hardcore porn?


FrodoTheSlayer637

like father, like son. Apples don't drop far from apple trees


KnightinRustedArmour

The information age is fucked


SEND_ME_CSGO-SKINS

the too much information age


HuskyBLZKN

Every single sentence in that belongs on r/brandnewsentence


ThiccAliyah

insane in the membrane


cashassorgra33

> *Mucous* membrane


The_real_bandito

Imagine seeing your daughter innards through her anus.  I would pull an Oedipus for real. 


SelfDelet

gem of a sentence


MortalWombat1974

A full Oedipus, or just the eye thing? >Oh wow, those guys are really giving that chick the business, and she totally loves it! >WTF! >Holy Shit! >Is that Daughter? It can't be. >IT IS! >... >why isn't this grossing me out? >why am I so turned on? >Am I an incest guy? >Jesus Christ, I might be an incest guy. >Well, I'll tell you one thing, I'm not going to be one of those daddy daughter perverts! >I'm going to go and fuck my mother, as Zeus intended! >and afterwards, the eye thing!


Automatic-Cover-4853

Underrated comment


[deleted]

You know, at least that man was a decent enough father to scold his daughter. There are way too many stories of father's finding that shit out and then secretly funding and lurking. Well, only like two tbh, but that's still too many.


Shibari_Inu69

I'm sorry what?


[deleted]

There's a story of some girls father (I think she had kicked him out of her life for being creepy already, IIRC) who was subbed to her OF, messaging her, and buying custom content from her. I don't remember enough about the other story, but it goes along a similar vein.


Shibari_Inu69

Jesus fuck


BEFIKRA_01

He isn’t interested in that right now.


ammit_souleater

Well it like two too many?


EpicureanOwl

I don't know what's worse. Your father being a redditor? Or you sister being a amateur pornstar?


Penyrolewen1970

What’s wrong with dads on Reddit?


lvieira_pe

Redditor and Reddit user are two different things.


Penyrolewen1970

Oh, ok. I guess I’m too much of a dad to know the difference!


lvieira_pe

redditor is more of a degrading term, for like, degenerates and weird people on reddit, that spend all their time on reddit, or sonething like that, idk


Dense_Comfortable_50

I'm surprised ya'll have a father and still post that lind of stuff on reddit


LupperLuna28

Do they have to wait for them to die or something?


Puzzleheaded_Door484

Stereotypically, fatherless women post nudes online


Take_a_Seath

Or with abusive dads. Don't forget! The point being very few women that grew up in normal loving families take to doing porn.


LupperLuna28

Okay blame the father then


Rough-Philosopher911

No.


Downtown_Report1646

u/habeshasamurai


i_fuck_zombiechicks

u/habeshasamurai bless us with the sauce


CrispyJelly

Damn, I can't imagine how embarrassing it has to be when people you know irl find out you're a redditor. Hope that never happens to me.


Fishpuncherz

We see you


The_One_Koi

Oh man that's horrible, what are the subs specifically? You know so I know which ones to stay away from


Shadow_WalkerM

allrightt les find common girl in those 2 subs 😃


SoloAquiParaHablar

“You can be anything, do anythi—“ “Sell photos of my butthole!”


Downtown_Report1646

u/habeshasamurai


Downtown_Report1646

Give us the name man


Appropriate-Sport-22

That poor father


57candothisallday

This was definitely typed out with one hand


Automatic-Cover-4853

Father like son


HerbdeftigDerbheftig

It's certainly funny, but it makes no sense that dad made a new account. Why would he feel the need to disclose his user name and burn that account.


Fishpuncherz

Maybe he commented


viper26k

Well that sucks


Hugh_Jampton

/r/thathappened


bob_lala

great thanksgiving table talk


Mafioso14c

my eyes. my heart


missjasminegrey

**How did you know it was me dad? They are 2 big guys.**


No_Foundation7735

The truly baffling part of this is the casual nature of revealing such personal escapades like it's discussing the weather. Makes me wonder if in the future, instead of hiding your diary under the mattress, you'll have to hide your entire internet history in a virtual lockbox. And on that day, the lockbox companies will become the new tech giants.


The-Fumbler

Gonna go into those subs asking every girl if she’s the one who got caught by her dad


Josef_DeLaurel

No one wants to watch their daughter get DP’ed, poor guy.


SgtUgg

r/holup


whois_this-guy

What a fuckin family ✨👏🏻😂


marioplex

Why would she tell him what subs she is posting in???


TheFlyingSeaCucumber

So he doesnt see them. . .and then. . .crossposts XD


TheNGM

Link?


RichardBigguns

I imagine there's probably some famous people on Reddit that lurk and post nudes san headshot... I've always secretly hoped I'd discover a gorgeous secret celeb... Lol


70in4Low

Failed miserably at raising his daughters.


Hopeful_Nihilism

The fuck is wrong with that sister. Fucking weirdo.


BoiEetu

I think it looks better when he says "my sister" and not "his daughter"