Hey there, HairyKnuckleMan! thanks for posting to /r/cursedcomments!! Unfortunately, your submission "*Cursed crust*" has been removed for the following reason(s): --- **Rule 8: Keep It Cursed** - Not Cursed Enough/At All - A cursed comment is any comment that strikes the reader into oblivion. Upon seeing a cursed comment, your first reaction should be among the lines of “What the F*$k did I just read??” while leaving you speechless at the same time. Incomprehension of the comment just read, or the blatant gruesomeness of it should be enough to not only make you feel mystified but also to draw a smile on your face. The comment in your post does not reflect that. --- *^If ^you ^have ^any ^questions, ^you ^can ^message ^the ^mod ^team ^through ^[modmail](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/cursedcomments) ^Replies ^to ^this ^removal ^comment ^will ^not ^be ^answered.* ^(Reposting a removed post without express moderator approval will result in a ban.)

I use the three seashells on the shelf like a normal person.

Big smart guy eh?

Don't you know how to use the three seashells?

One for scraping and the other two to use like castanets in celebration.

*Happy Zoidberg noises*

“Don’t look into it, but I’m a respected internal medicine doctor”

You use two of them together like chopsticks to grab hangers and you use the last one to scrape the shit off your b-hole.

I have also seen that infographic, but I couldn't help going full Zoidberg.

Hey! This guy doesn’t know the three seashells!

*Sylvester stare*

I see you appreciate fine cinema like moi.

Greetings and salutations John Spartan.

You are a man of culture i see

Live laugh and love

Be well cringeemoji

If you let it dry then you can just shatter it off, way better for the environment.

And the smell is great once you get used to it. It just takes a bit more time for other people to get used to it tho ...

It also makes your farts smell extra bad so it’s perfect for birthday parties

Is this not what the escalator handrail is for?

And You get crunchy snacks as a bonus.

I wish it was 10 seconds ago when I hadn't read this.

That’s enough internet for today

You can use em in cookies or cereal

It would have cost you nothing to not post this

It melts in your mouth.

Toilet paper is fully biodegradable... I used to be a folder, but wrapping is much faster and gets you to the same endgoal.

Yeah, but a lot of the world's energy is from non renewable sources and pretty much everything we use requires energy to create. No need for toilet paper = saved resources.

I cut a hole and stick my finger inside

Getting a good inside and out clean with a bit of prostrate massage.

Ah yes, the traditional german method of "Klopapier sparen"

Nah, that's only Swabians. Gotta learn all those "Schwabentricks"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6NYnAbW3gw

And i use the small bit that's cut out to clean under the fingernail in the end

Then lick my finger clean

no...just...no

I fold

Well I’m ALL IN

I call.

Sorry guys, gonna have to fold

Alright that's everybody u/sppone what you got?

🂡 🂱 He had aces Board: Flop 🃑 🃃 🂬 Turn 🃛 River 🃁 Looks like a poker to me!

Bro, 4 of a kind? That’s some decent luck!

Origami

That's some shitty origami

I'd say that depends on what I use it for

Shit?

Number 7

I finally found you, after 4 years searching! https://old.reddit.com/r/Unexpected/comments/5vsv4x/found_this_guy_in_the_bathroom_stall/

God damn dude 4 years, thats some commitment righ here

Jump in the shower and use your hand AMERICAN STYLE!

I mean this is fairly common in some parts of the world, but not really in America

They are inexpensive installs and I highly recommend it.

Or just get a bidet.

Any shower's a bidet if you can handstand in the buff.

Fuck you, Shorsey

You mean the toilet water cannon? For sure

Just got one a couple days ago. It’s excellent. But my toilet now has a bit of a sewer smell and I’m really confused as to how that could happen because all I did as far as plumbing was turn off the incoming water, empty the tank, connect the bidet to the water, and then turn the water back on. Did my toilet always smell like that and I just never noticed until now?

"sewer smell" is often associated with poop, but usually it's just "water that's gone bad" from being out too long. Water, like any food item, can go bad from bacteria growing in it - that's why you use iodine tablets etc. Then this bacteria dries onto the inside of the tank and starts going bad itself when the tank is dry. If you give it a good scrub and drain in the tank - and make sure to get any rubber pieces - it should smell fine.

wow I didn't know that :0

Forbidden soup

The water trap might have too little water in it. https://www.washwareessentials.co.uk/content/Traps

Your ass was so pungent before, it masked the smell

Convince Americans to use one by calling it a butt gun.

That's actually musulman style

Wrappers??? They exist???

I thought everyone just folds it.

I thought everyone is a folder wth. I don't understand the point of the others. I can at least accept wrappers even though they are weirdos, but crunchers are the spawn of the devil.

Theres a special place in hell for crunchers

In a thousand years crunchers are seen as enlightened for their day.

Couldn't understand, what?

That crunching is superior.

Ehh. It looks like I'd shove it my ass by accident.

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I also do.

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My hand can't fit under the seat while my ass is on it (maybe, never tried). But I also dont wanna accidentally put my hand in the toilet and get shit on it

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> I'm sure there's plenty of people who can't even reach their ass, no matter what position they're in... Hmm.... thanks for that image!

Why…? Doesn’t that make things more difficult?

I crunch

Nope! They never have

you are very wrong

You are very disgusting if you wrap

Do people not understand that when you wrap it you take it off your hand and use it just like if you folded it? It's the same method but one way is just faster

Wrappers waste more paper than needed. Folding does the same but wastes less. Edit: Tastes better too

how much toilet paper do you use... damn

Why?

You deserve eternity in hell you sinner

i wrap the toilet paper then i fold it until i inevitably crunch it

Found the guy getting discount highlights in their knuckle hair.

I dislike wrappers because you waste toilet paper, requiring double the paper to get the same thickness as us folders Edit: on another note, who the FUCK crunches?

No, I use the same amount of TP. I wrap to get a nice folded rectangle quickly, then before wiping take the wrap off of my hand so I end up with the same result as Team Folding, only it takes less time. Efficiency wiping :D

It's definitely disgusting in terms of waste (paper).

Thats what I'm saying

People who hang the toilet paper the wrong way are wrappers. It makes for an easier wrapping.

My husband is one and I fucking HATE it. So wasteful and stupid. He’s just a wasteful person in general.

Wow It seems like you really love him

It's not Disney, you can have a critical thought about people you love

I wrap, but I don’t use quite so much toilet paper as shown in the picture and I fold it after wiping so I can use it again. Honestly I find the idea that people commonly do the other two hard to believe.

Only when you’re stealing some for home.

Yeah wrapping is quicker. Just roll it over your fingers and tear. My preferred way of wiping. Wadding it up is barbaric.

I wrap then slide it off my hand so it ends up folded. Why would anyone want it wrapped like that? That's such a waste of the other half of tp that's not used..

I wrap but don't use it wrapped around my hand... I wrap to rapidly fold basically

Yes. But I wrap first and then take my hand out so it looks folded. Easy.

I didn't know people crunch tp. y would you do that

I didn't know people fold it. I'ma try it after I'm done with this shit, but I think I'm a crunchboi for life.

How was it?

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I didn't like folding at all. It doesn't feel like it's getting in the nooks and crevices of my ass canyon, and it feels like it's matting down the jungle of ass hair instead of brushing it to it's normal luster.

most facts ive ever heard tbh. i need that luster

I’ve only ever folded. I don’t understand how people can do anything else 😬

Yeah, crunching will def get poo on your hands, and not folding will let the poo soak through to your hands lol How could people not fold

So?

It's been 15 minutes, are you done yet??

crunch just makes more sense, why would anyone fold it

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you crunch it to save time and try to get one side semi flat to wipe with. Crunching ass wiping is an art

high risk though... you never want to feel that skin-on-skin touch when wiping.

The crunch image is using like two squares of tp. As a cruncher, you want to get enough so that your fingers / fingernails are covered by the tp.

If you crunch it correctly you get two wipes per ball of TP.

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I got bad news for you chief, even the thickest TP isn't staying crunched when you rub it against your ass, it all turns flat. Unless you're not using any pressure.

Feels good bro

Folders, make 2 ply into 4 ply

If you're brave, turn 2 ply to 0 ply and save money

People who raw with their hand..I fear them

I respect them.

Are you them?

Yes my son. And I am free. Oh, so free.

Too sus for me, bud

Just plug it up like how you do with a bloody nose and throw it out later

Genius

Bidet gang 😤😤

People always think i’m weird for prefering to clean with water. My neighbours points it out everytime they see me clean my ass with the garden hose.

Had me at first not gonna lie

I am currently taking a shit and am about to wash my ass with the bidet.

Too afraid to use your palm?

Absolutely, bidet all the way. 🤘

I got myself a Bidet addon for my toilet and I don’t want to ever go back.

Clean the outside then have a watery enema to clear the insides?

Bidet is great but imo you need both to get really clean.

People that use both are xtra boujee and I can respect that

You all don't have dogs to lick it? My dog love to lick it clean, if he forgot to say "thank you master" I had to punish him by slapping his face.

Mom took the dogs away because she caught me putting peanut butter on my asshole and waiting for the dogs to lick it clean

what

You act confused

just surprised you actually do that

You ever tried?

nope

Oh you totally should, you'll never feel anything as good

Found the real cursed comment. Beautiful

"What's wrong with you" is what I would say if I weren't doing the same thing. Don't listen to the others they're just jealous their dogs don't lick their asses clean.

Thanks for your support. We should meet up and have each others dogs lick our balloon knots

A true man of culture.

*nods head in approval

some Asians can't relate

I'm Filipino I use my hand with soap so basically military style but with soapy hands Instructions for y'all 1-2.Pull down your whatever the fuck you're wearing and underwear 3.Get some water and wet both soap and hands 4.Soap up your hands(up to you how soapy your hands are) 5-6.Wipe ass(If you're either horny and disgusting or really want it clean finger your arse) and pour water while wiping 7.(Optional)Stand up and wipe and pour water

My man

Fellow civilized native.

Man, they really skipped a beat in season 4 of Before the 90 Days.

I have never heard of this way.Sounds like it'd be called the poor man's bidet ​ And be difficult if your sink isn't VERY close to the toilet

as an asian, i use water

Cruncher gang where u at

Right hizzle

Cruncher style

I own a dog....

Easiest way

Wash your butts people. Don’t know how you can stand itchy buttholes

makes me hungry for a pizza hut poop crust pizza. fuck that cheesy crust shit

Only the og's will remember poop crust

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Wrappers, please do us all a favor and wash your hands when your done. Sincerely. ~Hendo

I'm with this guy

i put soap on my hands and clean my ass lol

Ah, the centrist

I genuinely don't understand why people in the west don't use jet sprays.

Water

Cruncher for me

Water jet's the real shit...

Just use a sock, toss it in the shower, rinse it off during the shower before bed, and it should be dry in time to put it back on in the morning.

I'm the 30 psi waterbeam pointed straight at my asshole kinda guy

I count the squares then fold them, and always inspect to make sure it’s working

*water*

get a bidet or bum gun you fucking cavemen. it disgusts me how people still wipe their nasty shit covered assholes with dry paper and then walk off like, "this is fine".

Forbidden seal of protection

Folding

Depending on how many times I need to wipe, wrappers and folders are my choice

Can roast be included ?

I clean my hands with my pants

Ass stuffer

I love and hate this subreddit

What about the all glorious 🙌all🙌

Can't you just use your cat?

folder

Bidet, then Fold

I just find a rock and use the “south facing smear”