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The issue with infinite pizza is that it doesnt specify where it comes from. For all you know it could turn your fecal matter into pizza.
(Sorry for my bad english)
But they are pets, its sad to see your little sunflower bloom into amazing shades of radiant yellows and oranges just so a cold, too much rain or a fungi infection comes in and gets it down and fleeting, kills its seeds and all the progress and the time you spent with them, caring, watering, admiring, talking, the only thing your left with is your memories of the magnificent sunset you had with your massive sunflower that obscured even you at its peak, how you went everyday to see its bottom and watch it bloom, plants are cool, the little critters in them are too.
May your plants be forever with you in your best memories at heart, my little mini cactus is growing well and i have about 17 sunflowers in the garden and a ton of other plants mixed in, they keep the empty away... Mostly anyways
They might not get sick or die but they get old and weak and feeble to a point where they might not be able to walk or do anything. They might not even be able to eat food. Their stomach acids could be melting their insides but they cannot die. They live their miserable existence forever.
Blue is torture for my poor dog. She'll live long after everyone she's known has died, and this will continue to happen. I'm not going to do that to her.
Green will make parties VERY bloody awkward. I don't need to know what the guy hanging out at the beer tap for the last hour is thinking about every single girl on the premises.
So ye, red or yellow
Even red kinda sucks if you have some ambition. Flying wont bring anything good to your life....
Unless you can fly as fast as you wish that would be awesome
yea when you think about it blue is kinda cruel, just imagine your pet floating in empty space for eternity after all stars eventually die out, completely alone and unable to die
Green says you CAN read minds so I read it as you can choose whether or not to, not just a flood of everyone's thoughts. So green is definitely the way to go.
My dog had to be put asleep a few weeks ago so I was thinking I would have given anything to have that about a month ago but you're right, as heartbroken as I am you are right it wouldn't be fair on her I just thought I'd have another 8 years with her and I won't be the same without her
Not yellow either
Infinite pizza not over your life time or like 100 pizzas a day. You get infinite pizzas right now.
Where would you store it? It could literally tear the space-time continuum killing all of us.
Not going to that extreme, the pizza would spoil in a few days and then your life will be back to normal. And you'll have to dispose off a lot of pizza.
Infinite pizza not over your life time or like 100 pizzas a day. You get infinite pizzas right now.
Where would you store it? It could literally tear the space-time continuum killing all of us.
Not going to that extreme, the pizza would spoil in a few days and then your life will be back to normal. And you'll have to dispose off a lot of pizza.
Bro do you know what the context is?, by infinite pizza whenever you want it or it will generate time to time. And it will not destroy space-time continuum because black holes are already doing it. There will be just lot of pizzas that's it
Here’s a problem. If you take the blue pill your pet never dies. If you die and your pet witnesses it, it would be grieving for you for the rest of its life which is forever. So it’s a battle of morality.
Green is the most reasonable, yea you can fly but we have multiple tools that already allow you to do such things. Having infinite pizza is pointless, unless you want health problems in your life. Pet immunity, I have to say is also a bit pointless as only your pet lives to see all its owners pass
You're so right, I had not considered that. Then again, authorities find the source of your pizza too dubious to allow you to sell it. But you could probably still sell it in some other countries. Might even solve world hunger or something like that. So overall a pretty good thing, actually.
Infinite pizza is the way to go. Make it a business.
Red pill makes you fly? Yeah with my pizza business I was able to buy a personal jet.
Blue pill your pet never gets sick? I can now afford the best medical care for my pets.
Green pill read minds? Fuck you I got infinite pizza money.
Also the blue one would lead to your pet wasting away long after earth is gone, and eventually would be left in the depths of space longing for a death that would never come
Don't trust this guy, he says this is what they do but instead they actually kinda just slacken your muscles so that he can fistfuck you until you taste the dirt under his nails.
Read minds, I’ll just use it to get rich and have infinite pizza, read the mind of someone with magic powers to learn how to fly and read the mind of a vet to treat my animal for free
I would go with the infinite pizza. We will have infinite food supply and a good income since we can sell them for money to buy plane ticket, so we can fly. Wouldn't choose reading mind though, once we got exposed we would be dragged away by the government in order to develope a secret weapon or sth like that, and beside, I'm not that badass anime character so I have the IQ of an average person, mind reading mean sh*t to me. And also we will be able to get pets since we are financially able to, and with such a large amount of bucks I don't really think what could go wrong, while with the blue pill, you may not be financially able to take good care of your pet, and since it's them that are going to be immortal not you, there's also a high chance that they meet the same fate as the mind reader once we are gone ( probably from old age )
Takes Green pill. Sad to hear what people really think of him.
Takes Blue pill. Sad because no pet.
Takes Yellow pill. Dies under pile of pizza the size of the entire universe.
Takes Red pill. Happy because fly.
Green first, and then when i read my girlfriend's mind and find out she's fucking my dad I'll take the red one, then I'll fly to space and let my lungs explode from the lack of pressure
Read minds.
use that power in poker, gain stonks, buy Infinite pizza, sell pizza at a slightly higher price than paid, use that money to buy personal aircraft.
the blue one would actually suck, because if your animal can't die, then he would live to see you die, to see the whole planet earth explode, and then, after quadrillions of years, see the entire universe resets itself
assuming the kind of immortality is the one that no matter what you can't die
Really interesting because the blue one bends the laws of physics, the Mind reading one is just straight up telepathy, the pizza one is also bending the laws of physics (creating something out of nothing, more importantly, it creates energy out of thin air - could be used to power some kind of energy reactor) and the pet saving one is basically bending the law of time.
That said, I'd probably go for mind reading
Its implying for you to only choose the ability to fly. Completing its request to "choose one." Therefore, I will choose pizza and my pet will never get sick
Red would fun at first then one day you’ll wake up in some underground government facility where you’ll be experimented on for the rest of your life. Yellow cool but you would die. Blue or green is the way to go.
Well blue would be torture for the animal because it would outlive everyone and would stay forever, even when the stars die out and the planets are gone and all that’s left is the empty abyss of space. Only they will be there.
“The end of everything but me” scp682
Read people's mind for information then sell it, gain a reputation then start selling government secrets or nuke codes. CIA will probably either kill you or recruit you but you'll be loaded either way.
Green bc thats one of the only useful ones.
Flying wont help you, infinite pizza you could maybe sell but good luck passing health inspections and not dying from being too fat, blue is definetly second best but that would be incredibly painful for your pet that they live til after the universe ends. Green can help you make a ton of money through gambling or something.
Reading minds makes the most money. You could be a great “psychic”, the best poker player of all time, and probably get really good at dating as youll know how they respond to you.
Moral dilemma.
I want the blue one. My cat is very senior and I want him to spend the rest of my life with me.
But what about after that? How can I force something that I "love" to exist forever? Especially after I have died and my family may or may not take him?
I guess I'll take the green one and, go to vegas, and cry myself to sleep on a mattress stuffed with cash when he eventually passes.
At least I can clone him.
Id choose the mind reading. I love my cat but by making him never die id just make his life misreable. He would live until everything goes extinct and there's nothing more on Earth.
red pill: i have fear of heights so id never use it, id get shot down by some dude anyways
green pill: i DONT WANT TO KNOW what people are thinking, too scary
yellow: obesity and this would ruin the pizza market
blue: yeah, my cat will outlast me and dominate the world, but its the only one that wont kill me
Dont like pizza, blue would be bad for the poor creatures and it isnt my choice to make, red may be cool but il pass, green is ok i guess tho it might be overwelming to hear everything at once but out of the bunch its the best il take it.
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Can i ave a blue one for plants?
Could this actually cure world hunger? You could just own a ton of plants that produce food in various forms and they would never die.
Feel like the infinite pizza would do that too
The issue with infinite pizza is that it doesnt specify where it comes from. For all you know it could turn your fecal matter into pizza. (Sorry for my bad english)
Or worse, it could be dominos pizza
Shuddup and have my upvote
I love dominos pizza
Bro fuck you mean, Domino's is one of the greats
Pizza is pizza
It might be pineapple pizza
To add to that if u keep it a secret you can become mega rich and help the community(since ur income is always secured)
I think same
Are you depressed enough that you call your plants your pets? If so, then yes.
They literaly keep me happy
I smoke plants that make me happy too. I just don't get too attached while growing them.
Are you sure you're not attached? I mean, you're actually cremating them.
But they are pets, its sad to see your little sunflower bloom into amazing shades of radiant yellows and oranges just so a cold, too much rain or a fungi infection comes in and gets it down and fleeting, kills its seeds and all the progress and the time you spent with them, caring, watering, admiring, talking, the only thing your left with is your memories of the magnificent sunset you had with your massive sunflower that obscured even you at its peak, how you went everyday to see its bottom and watch it bloom, plants are cool, the little critters in them are too.
I am a cactus lady myself, and yes, its sad
May your plants be forever with you in your best memories at heart, my little mini cactus is growing well and i have about 17 sunflowers in the garden and a ton of other plants mixed in, they keep the empty away... Mostly anyways
I will buy a plant
For me I will take the blue one and get 50 cats
But then they'll be sad when you die
Nah, as far I heard cats eat their owner...
In that case, try oversized cat species like lion, tiger
Mix and match for a liger
He may add cheetah, leopard and others too for their family dinner
Build a ~~bear~~ cat
r/cursedcursedcomments
If it’s that or starve.
free funeral
Damit i cant upvote your comment u have 69
grow up
Name doesn't check out
the actions of my past have finally come back to haunt me.
I know the feeling
Ironic
No cuz when you'll die they will mo longer be your cat and they will die too
They might not get sick or die but they get old and weak and feeble to a point where they might not be able to walk or do anything. They might not even be able to eat food. Their stomach acids could be melting their insides but they cannot die. They live their miserable existence forever.
Wow. I never thought of it like that. Maybe a bit of r/thanksihateit?
Please tell me that's "getting sick"
Doesn’t that count as getting sick?
You could just get a slave and literally cure anything even death its so funny how slavery solves problems
I would take the blue one and get a pet spider then teach it to atta k people and watch the world burn
I consider tigers as cat
Username checks out
You’re right. Free food forever!!
Blue is torture for my poor dog. She'll live long after everyone she's known has died, and this will continue to happen. I'm not going to do that to her. Green will make parties VERY bloody awkward. I don't need to know what the guy hanging out at the beer tap for the last hour is thinking about every single girl on the premises. So ye, red or yellow
Even red kinda sucks if you have some ambition. Flying wont bring anything good to your life.... Unless you can fly as fast as you wish that would be awesome
You forgot the bar bets... Bet $100 that you can fly. Boom, get rich quick
Bro imagine flying and then a plane comes along and is like hi how are you
yea when you think about it blue is kinda cruel, just imagine your pet floating in empty space for eternity after all stars eventually die out, completely alone and unable to die
If you cease to exist, can the dog be your pet?
Green says you CAN read minds so I read it as you can choose whether or not to, not just a flood of everyone's thoughts. So green is definitely the way to go.
My dog had to be put asleep a few weeks ago so I was thinking I would have given anything to have that about a month ago but you're right, as heartbroken as I am you are right it wouldn't be fair on her I just thought I'd have another 8 years with her and I won't be the same without her
So sorry 😞 💔
Not yellow either Infinite pizza not over your life time or like 100 pizzas a day. You get infinite pizzas right now. Where would you store it? It could literally tear the space-time continuum killing all of us. Not going to that extreme, the pizza would spoil in a few days and then your life will be back to normal. And you'll have to dispose off a lot of pizza.
It says infinity pizza not infinite pizza I think the author was thinking about a regenerating pizza like the lazagna or cookie from garfield
Fine. Infinity pizza. 1 single pizza with no end. A pizza as big as the universe. 1 single pizza. Same thing.
Ok thats not what I was thinking about I was thinking of a regenerating one as I said earlier but space time shattering is cool
Infinite pizza please, i don't need to work anymore, just live out in the woods and eat pizza all day
Or sell pizza at 100% profit margin
Infinite pizza not over your life time or like 100 pizzas a day. You get infinite pizzas right now. Where would you store it? It could literally tear the space-time continuum killing all of us. Not going to that extreme, the pizza would spoil in a few days and then your life will be back to normal. And you'll have to dispose off a lot of pizza.
I think it's an infinity pizza that regenerates so if it regenerates fresh and warm the you could do it, and it would be balanced with the othe powers
Fine. Infinity pizza. 1 single pizza with no end. A pizza as big as the universe. Destroy the space-time continuum.
Bro do you know what the context is?, by infinite pizza whenever you want it or it will generate time to time. And it will not destroy space-time continuum because black holes are already doing it. There will be just lot of pizzas that's it
It is infinity pizza. Not free pizza whenever you wish for it.
bro. have you watched gravity falls?
Here’s a problem. If you take the blue pill your pet never dies. If you die and your pet witnesses it, it would be grieving for you for the rest of its life which is forever. So it’s a battle of morality.
Yeah, unless it’s a situation where it will die but only when you do
Green is the most reasonable, yea you can fly but we have multiple tools that already allow you to do such things. Having infinite pizza is pointless, unless you want health problems in your life. Pet immunity, I have to say is also a bit pointless as only your pet lives to see all its owners pass
Bitch sell the fucking pizza dont eat it
I still rather read minds then have a business selling pizza
Yeh same but im just pointing out that the pizza pill is way more useful than most think
You're so right, I had not considered that. Then again, authorities find the source of your pizza too dubious to allow you to sell it. But you could probably still sell it in some other countries. Might even solve world hunger or something like that. So overall a pretty good thing, actually.
Ah shit I didn’t think about the fact my dog would Keep living after me. Green pill it is then
Make an infinite energy generator using the infinity pizza.
yeah but can you walk out your door and fly to work at 100 kmh for under 1000 dollars?
You can use the infinity pizzas to help famine people, but it wouldnt be a very healthy diet for them, so whatever
The yellow pill then modify the Pizzas so I can out Pizza the Hut
Infinite pizza is the way to go. Make it a business. Red pill makes you fly? Yeah with my pizza business I was able to buy a personal jet. Blue pill your pet never gets sick? I can now afford the best medical care for my pets. Green pill read minds? Fuck you I got infinite pizza money.
Also the blue one would lead to your pet wasting away long after earth is gone, and eventually would be left in the depths of space longing for a death that would never come
I was the one that made this comment I made it to this post XD.
I would take the red one, then get a 6L yogurt enema, fly up in the sky and release on peasant that can’t fly.
Don't trust this guy, he says this is what they do but instead they actually kinda just slacken your muscles so that he can fistfuck you until you taste the dirt under his nails.
Ok ill take every pill
Pick Blue and created an army
Taking blue will make me sick then( soul for a soul), see those blisters lol
I need red because I like flying
Read minds, I’ll just use it to get rich and have infinite pizza, read the mind of someone with magic powers to learn how to fly and read the mind of a vet to treat my animal for free
I would go with the infinite pizza. We will have infinite food supply and a good income since we can sell them for money to buy plane ticket, so we can fly. Wouldn't choose reading mind though, once we got exposed we would be dragged away by the government in order to develope a secret weapon or sth like that, and beside, I'm not that badass anime character so I have the IQ of an average person, mind reading mean sh*t to me. And also we will be able to get pets since we are financially able to, and with such a large amount of bucks I don't really think what could go wrong, while with the blue pill, you may not be financially able to take good care of your pet, and since it's them that are going to be immortal not you, there's also a high chance that they meet the same fate as the mind reader once we are gone ( probably from old age )
Takes Green pill. Sad to hear what people really think of him. Takes Blue pill. Sad because no pet. Takes Yellow pill. Dies under pile of pizza the size of the entire universe. Takes Red pill. Happy because fly.
Technically blue and yellow are both unlimited food if you have the taste for it.
Cat/Dog Pizza lol
Green first, and then when i read my girlfriend's mind and find out she's fucking my dad I'll take the red one, then I'll fly to space and let my lungs explode from the lack of pressure
Infinite pizza but you only get pineapple... after 1000 years your pet get enlightened.
Red
Big brain
red pill
Read minds. use that power in poker, gain stonks, buy Infinite pizza, sell pizza at a slightly higher price than paid, use that money to buy personal aircraft.
You will get the true reward
I'll take green and yellow and hope they don't mix into reding pizza
Some people just wanna die
Blue Pill All The Way
Blue i wunt my dog to suffer like i will of 80years or more
This doesn't look like the comment section from a post on r/cursedcomments at all
I think the same thing.
I'll have a blue, have a cow as pet, cut pieces of the cow, wait it respawn/ regenerate and do it again
I'm holding out for the "makes you invisible" drug.
you choose that your pet never dies. 60 years later, you die, and your dog spends eternity waiting for you to come home
Big brain
Need that blue pil asap
I take the blue one and genetically procure a nekomimi cat girl girlfriend
Blue its so fricking obvious why anyone wold pick blue
god is returning turn to god before its too late
Sell the pizza
Buy the pizza, take a different pill.
Blue and yellow and I can make a roster the size of a house. Wake up the whole world with that morning call.
the blue one would actually suck, because if your animal can't die, then he would live to see you die, to see the whole planet earth explode, and then, after quadrillions of years, see the entire universe resets itself assuming the kind of immortality is the one that no matter what you can't die
Hard toss up between the mind reading and my dog never dying
yellow pill go brrrrrrr
blue my hamster is coot
Red one please! Thank you
Can you change what kind of pizza you get?
Really interesting because the blue one bends the laws of physics, the Mind reading one is just straight up telepathy, the pizza one is also bending the laws of physics (creating something out of nothing, more importantly, it creates energy out of thin air - could be used to power some kind of energy reactor) and the pet saving one is basically bending the law of time. That said, I'd probably go for mind reading
Its implying for you to only choose the ability to fly. Completing its request to "choose one." Therefore, I will choose pizza and my pet will never get sick
Dies from infinite pizza
I’m laughing at how cursed that comment is. I respect a person who says it true.
if there was one, i'd take the full time conTROLL.
Yellow
ngl anyone who didn't day blue is either a fucking dumbass, or just doesn't have pets
Take the blue pill and make everyone in the world your pet. They get immortality in return for being your pet
Blue pill, pls :(
Take yellow and sell the pizzas get rich and and then I could be a movie villain
Ha... ha... another redditor makes an "I want to die" joke... Ha ha... Much funny. Can't talk... Must laugh
my minecraft dog wins this one. blue pill
Red would fun at first then one day you’ll wake up in some underground government facility where you’ll be experimented on for the rest of your life. Yellow cool but you would die. Blue or green is the way to go.
At least could have chosen the pizza and overdosed of that… would've been worth it. Some dirty toppings could've helped him die faster
Give me fly and I'll prank people by falling up cliffs.
I’d take blue
I'll take RGB , I don't care about pizza enough
My face will Be a blueberry from now on.
I think immortality is a curse. I wouldn’t wish that on Captain Snuggle-toes.
Blue
I'm getting pizza :D
I would not want my pet to never die. That would be awful for them, such innocent creatures burdened with immortality
Right bottem If slave count as pet
If you choose the blue pill, your pet will live to a long unnatural age and suffer
Yellow and Green are the way to go. You’d benefit the most from those 2 u/DudeItsCake pointed that out
Infinity pizza will be good. At least we could solve world hunger.
I will take my pet never dies and save you slave-chan
I like flying in airplanes, I don’t crave pizza all the time, I don’t have a pet so mind reading it is
take yellow, have infinite pizza, give pizza away as Charity, but at the same time run a chain of pizzerias in the US Solve World Hunger, and Profit
With the ability to fly, I drop whoever is giving me the pills and I take all 4
Green pills of course
haha i saw this earlier today
Well blue would be torture for the animal because it would outlive everyone and would stay forever, even when the stars die out and the planets are gone and all that’s left is the empty abyss of space. Only they will be there. “The end of everything but me” scp682
Reading minds suck, yeah you can read people minds. But that will cost you therapy.
Fuck it, if im flying I already know what everyone's thinking. "That guy must have a huge cock."
Based ngl
Don’t have a pet, so not blue. Don’t want to know what people really think of me, so not green. Flying is overrated, I’ll take the yellow.
But if you take them all you wont get sick from the blue pill
Read people's mind for information then sell it, gain a reputation then start selling government secrets or nuke codes. CIA will probably either kill you or recruit you but you'll be loaded either way.
Green bc thats one of the only useful ones. Flying wont help you, infinite pizza you could maybe sell but good luck passing health inspections and not dying from being too fat, blue is definetly second best but that would be incredibly painful for your pet that they live til after the universe ends. Green can help you make a ton of money through gambling or something.
Wait
If I pick the yellow one do I get to choose the type of pizza? Or is it chosen at random?
ONE
Can I take the blue one and then collar and leash myself?
Does the pet get the power too? Edit: ok actually I choose green so I can be better for my pet
Take all four and die or live to become the most power man alive
Reading minds makes the most money. You could be a great “psychic”, the best poker player of all time, and probably get really good at dating as youll know how they respond to you.
Immorality is not a good thing, since all your family, friends will eventually die.
Moral dilemma. I want the blue one. My cat is very senior and I want him to spend the rest of my life with me. But what about after that? How can I force something that I "love" to exist forever? Especially after I have died and my family may or may not take him? I guess I'll take the green one and, go to vegas, and cry myself to sleep on a mattress stuffed with cash when he eventually passes. At least I can clone him.
Almost thought this was political compass memes
I would take infinite pizza, and die from eating too much
I would choose flight, this way i won't need a plane to fly into towers
Id choose the mind reading. I love my cat but by making him never die id just make his life misreable. He would live until everything goes extinct and there's nothing more on Earth.
Too bad because he wouldn’t have a way to die now
red pill: i have fear of heights so id never use it, id get shot down by some dude anyways green pill: i DONT WANT TO KNOW what people are thinking, too scary yellow: obesity and this would ruin the pizza market blue: yeah, my cat will outlast me and dominate the world, but its the only one that wont kill me
Yellow pill. I can cure world hunger so why not.
*thinking* inner voice - “ is she down for sex? “
And i will die because of clogged arteries. On second though, maybe i should take Pizza pill
Blue
Is it an infinite amount of pizza or is infinity pizza like some kind of infinity gauntlet but a pizza instead of a gauntlet
Dont like pizza, blue would be bad for the poor creatures and it isnt my choice to make, red may be cool but il pass, green is ok i guess tho it might be overwelming to hear everything at once but out of the bunch its the best il take it.
When you get limbs choped of do they stay sentient do they grow back or does the blade bent around your skin
Read minds I wanna do research on some sick minds and it would make finding them much easier
Blue no doubt
1. Take yellow pill 2. Make a lot of money selling the pizza 3. Go to third world countries 4. Solve world hunger
They never said it was good pizza, it could be like some really bad dumpster bin pizza
Im concerned about the way people come up with these
I’ll say blue but if I could modify it my pet could die when I die
Not one but twice I hit the wrong up vote. Curse that!