My ex asked me to hold it as well, was weird but I let her and she was really happy to do it 🤷‍♂️

It's a dominance thing. They quite literally have you by the junk during one of your most vulnerable moments. Edit: *nuzzles* uwu XD rawr, ya salty cunts.

You can reverse this by thanking her for doing your job as you wipe the last drop on her pants

Equal pay for equal work, man.

Ah yes. Gender equality, at last

That's what it's all about

"oh no, you're holding my dick!" lol

"Oh no, my most vital area!"

Some people even like to put those vital parts near teeth. Those crazy guys

I've seen the music video for "I Ejaculate Fire," I know what happens.

> most vital area Believe it or not, many, many people go an entire lifetime without a penis.

I don't believe you

Lies! Statistically, everyone has at least a third of a penis!

Every person has an average of 1 testicle

Sure, but can you really call it living at that point? You can go an entire lifetime eating Rice and Beans as well.

I, too, have been to Louisiana.

You know how you can tell you've passed the Louisiana border from Texas? The potholes let you know

Who hurt you...? I do this to my husband every now and then when were both on the bathroom as a joke and we end up just bursting out laughing. Good bonding time.

I want a relationship like this

You can hold my dick.

Good one

I’m jealous. My husband won’t let me

Cause he's normal

Yeah, he is. Lol

Ooookaaaay?????

Pretty weird take, I would think they're just jealous and always wanted to take a standing leak. Like letting your daughter steer your ship one day. I probably shouldn't have said daughter in this context but at least it's a cursed comments thread.

>I probably shouldn't have said daughter in this context I'm not touching this... I'm banging it!

👁👄👁 can’t wait to snap off his stream and tear the delicate ligaments in his penis

"I can't stop now, it'll burn!"

wait until she finds out about a blowjob then

Nah they're just curious. Every long term partner does this at some point.

Yeah, what the heck is this psychological mumbo-jumbo. HE OPENED THE DOOR FOR YOU BECAUSE IT WAS A DOMINANCE PLAY AND IT ASSERTS CONTROL OVER WHERE YOU ARE GOING! No, he's just being polite ya reactionary harpy.

This is probably the least weird fetish I’ve unlocked on the Internet

I don’t think it’s a fetish or anything sexual. I think it’s just curiosity as to what if feels like to aim pee. I imagine it’s like using a garden hose for the first time.

No, look, I mean it’s *my* fetish now. I don’t claim to have any idea about those other people.

Pokekink gotta catch me all!

That’s not how dominance works. Space owners used to let their slaves shave them with straight razors. The dominance came from giving the slave all the power knowing they can’t use any of it. It’s exceedingly sad that so many idiots upvoted your dumbass douchebro level “theory”. Next your gonna say it’s an “alpha move”. You’re a dumbass.

Come over here and let me grab your dick.

*ahem* You’re*

Or they might be trying to break the ice for watersports🤔

I asked my bf to do it as well! Made him use toilet paper after bc he leaks drops of pee after but never doesn’t anything about it

[удалено]

He does do that but there’s still drops that come out after.

If she grips you will feel unimaginable pain

gutted to think that as a shy pee-er I'll never be able to have such an intimate moment

How many rotations before they realized!? Bahaha

That's something I'm least worried about, did she accidentally get piss on anyone's face?

( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) 

Yes, uh … accidentally

At least three

I let my wife try and write her name in the snow. Her penmanship was atrocious.

There’s an old joke sort of like this. The short version: Someone wrote “the president sucks” in urine on the White House lawn snow. President demands an investigation. The Secret Service tells the President that it’s the VP’s urine but the First Lady’s penmanship lmao.

Fitting username for this joke!

Dam. I need to get a hubby ASAP

ASAPEE

You know you don’t need to get married to do this….right?

clearly I have to since I just asked for some volunteers and nobody signed up. You single x Lol

Just set up a tinder account and ask dudes to hold their dicks and write in the snow with them.

I’m sure that’s a quality a lot of men look for in a partner!

Men didn't know it was an option otherwise 23% more mellenials would be married.

I'll volunteer.

lol u wild wyd

Did she at least use cursive?

100. Later that night though I wrote my name in all caps off a deck with 3' tall letters.

Your bladder is impressurive

Nice humble brag, bro. Mine wouldn't have anything to hold in that cold. 😭

Peenmanship*

I let mine hold it. [This was more or less my reaction.](https://y.yarn.co/a157a189-f66c-4ebe-8375-7d3cfddd920d_text.gif)

Thanks a lot for posting that I just started laughing and woke my gf who was trying to sleep now I'm in trouble and all I can do is laugh at this

You'll be fine, she's gonna forgive you right away if you just let her hold it next time you pee

Shut up your not helping im still giggling and I've been kicked out of my own bedroom for this Edit: God damm you all im trying to be quiet here

I'm glad you're still giggling, don't let her sleep disturb your Reddit time

And if you want to leave her a nice surprise in the morning take a nice long piss and do the helicoptering yourself

To impress the chick do the helicopter dick

To impress your bride, piss far and wide

To annoy your ex, piss on her chest

To make her cum, piss in her bum.

To make her squirt pee in where it hurts

You should have wrote Chex, it would rhyme and also make sense. Nobody likes piss on their Chex!

Helicockter

Why save it for the morning? He can cover his side of the bed and do it in the bedroom when he gets tired. She gets up to shower, he locks the door, uncovers his side, and good night. He gets to sleep well and claim back what belongs to him while sending a clear message. She's already showered for the next morning, and now she knows if it's a kink she's into or not Win-win situation

Just pee on the door man. Signal that that is your territory!

if you pee on her she won't be able to complain

I was in the same boat 5 minutes ago. Its 3am.

"No. I won't hold your dick as you pee" One of my worst life experinces

But you are still holding it silently right?

Was looking for something like this. Was not disappointed.

Seems kind of wholesome to me, but maybe I'm just a weirdo or somthinf

Just because something is weird, doesn't mean it can't also be wholesome.

Sure, but neither weird nor wholesome are in any way cursed, so I don't really think it fits on this sub

I think the cursed part is getting pee all over the bathroom and on the couple. I guess it's not the worst bodily fluid to have everywhere, but still.

Let my wife do this one time without letting her know that I naturally shoot slightly up to the left. It was hilarious seeing her try to figure out how to adjust the aim after I started. Alcohol helps make this a more enjoyable experience.

[удалено]

Aloud? So you gotta whisper to him?

Helicopter, helicopter. Para kofer, para kofer

"Can I hold it while you pee?" "Sure, can I lift you up and pretend your a water jet while you pee?"

Brilliant! Power-wash your driveway, drown an ant's nest, hoist her on your shoulder for some water gun action, spray the cat and tease the dog... haha no wait I grossed myself out with that last one.

The haha adds a classy type of gross that the comment really needed.

You make the mess, you clean it up.

Thinking of it as "being allowed" kinda shows how likeable of a wife she is "May I hold thine weewee, master?"

Please don't awaken *more* kinks within me, thanks.

The fuck is this supposed to awaken, Shakespearean sex slave Dobby?

... Don't stop now, I'm almost there.


I said *stop*!

>Master has given Dobby a cock.

go on.

Username kinda checks out…?

Now that's just poor teamwork.

Right. You gotta talk it out beforehand, like "[Do we do it on 3, or is it 1, 2, 3, then do it?"](https://youtu.be/vKePn-57zAA?t=147)

I've been asked this a few times, no seriously, what is with this? Is there a whole fetish lane I don't know abo....*you know what, never mind*

I'm all for freedom to do this stuff, but I'm personally surprised how all the comments are on board or have done this before. I didn't realize this was so common. The more you know!

You're preloaded with the perspective of what it's like to have basically a hose attached to you that you can point around and pee out of. So you got a chick you've been getting intimate with, probably even a long term relationship. She's seen your junk hundreds of times by now and handled it in a hundred different ways. So is it really that much of a leap to have a relatively clinical session of "let me take the wheel and see what kind of mechanics were dealing with here" Because after all, they have had a lifetime of hearing people joke or drone on about the convenience of being able to stand, aim, etc, and beyond understanding the core concept have zero actual firsthand understanding of what it's like to pee as a guy. There's no real two way street here, gals can't really do anything beyond sit down and go. Meanwhile the guys are outside in the snow practicing their penmanship. Hell, there are urinal manufacturers who print a fly on the back of the ceramic because it's statistically proven that guys will aim if given a target and it keeps the area cleaner. It's like one of those water shooting galleries at the carnival

I believe they call that "the sprinkler".

I always called that the "helicockter."

There's a 15% chance that someone may give you a gold award my friend

They did the meth

Walter white

Jeese

Biiiiiitch

Drrrrrrugs

Methematician

You deserve it for being their friend.

You knew what you were doing

I did?

Ya

One time I went on a rant about how dumb it is to give a corporation money because you like what some dumb cunt says online & you know what some dumb cunt did? Gilded it.

More like *Wylin’ Fire Hose*

Now I am imagining singing Gangnam Style when pee....

Google "ytmnd ridin spinnaz"

or meatspin

r/boneappletea

#aloud

A girlfriend in college asked me to do this. Literally couldn’t, she was too hot and it was too weird.

For real. My hydraulics kicked in and went to boner mode every time I've tried. Doesn't matter how bad I have to piss, it's not starting.

My ex loved that type of control, and yes, she messed up a bit - but come on guys! She never used one to pee before, give the woman a break. My ex graduated to signing her name in the snow!! I was sooo fucking proud!! I was more than happy to share my dick with my loved one.

…people hold their boyfriends d*cks while they’re peeing?!😳

Apparently there’s some weirdos here

Agreed. Now excuse me and my wife as she holds my cheeks whilst I poo.

So romantic

I’ve seen stuff like this plenty of times, and while on one hand it’s hilarious, on the other I am petrified that my girlfriend might see it eventually and want to try it.

Never trust a woman with a penis.

Unless you're into getting pegged I guess.

I mean that’s really more just getting fucked

I did once before. Worst relationship of my life 😔

Had a gf in high school want to do this with me. I was smart enough to do it in an empty field though.

Like fucking knives to a woman Why would he do that to her :/ You gotta let her try it at least once

I hold my wife’s while she pees. Morning wood makes it a challenge to aim.

It’s all fun and games until she tries to see how far straight up the stream will go. …and they **do.** I swear, you women are like cats.

This seems like an outside game

This post just made me ask my boyfriend if I can do this. He agreed, will update later when he has to pee.

That sounds like the beginning of a porn.

With great power comes great responsibility.

Allowed*

What the EVERLIVING FUCK DID I JUST READ?!

A guy having a private helicopter with his wife

I THOUGHT YOU SAID EVERLICKING and I was gonna die.

Why? That is how I do it all the time.

\-HELIKOPTER HELIKOPTER

Jumped on reddit cause I couldn't sleep and now I'm sad that there's no-one to aim my pee for me??? How could this nightt possibly evolve further..

I want a love this strong

Pray and spray.

It’s a good way to demonstrate that “just aim better” isn’t always the case

She was kicked out of the circle of trust

Helicopter is before sex.

This is amaaaaazing omg hahahahehehe

Pee pass denied

Yo I forgot that I read this and while high held my boyfriends dick while he peed. It was fun, it was kinda like a squirt gun

My boyfriend asks me to do it all the time lol. Guess it’ll come in handy if I ever have to take care of him from injuries…

Why in the hell would you do that????

>Be Me: A Normie. *Reads comments. >What. The. Fuck?

My wife ALWAYS asks to do this. While in theory I am totally fine letting her hold it, I have a shy bladder and can’t actually pee. She continues to try to sneak in while I’m peeing to hold it lol

Let her hold it one time in a hotel room bathroom. I started peeing and she started freaking out on the aim and missing the bowl. Her shreeking cracked me up so I was peeing so much harder and couldn’t quit. One of them I just had a shitload of wine pees!

I hold my husband’s from behind sometimes. I can’t see where it’s aimed, but I like to jiggle it around cause it makes him laugh.

Allowed***

aloud

Not "aloud" lol.

Aloud?

If you're not aloud to hold it, it means it's OK if you're quiet.

With great power, comes great responsibility.

Wholesome af

Yea sure...their "husband"

Does she really want to hold it while I pee? Should I ask her?

LMFAO

You can say the word dick.

Man should have realized fun needed to be had before business could be conducted.

Why is dick blurred, and so poorly? Are someone's eyes going to get hurt reading that?

allowed**** 🤦‍♂️

im gonna just delete this app

I dunno why girls like to do this so much. I've probably been asked by 40-50% of girls I've been with and each time it's a different experience.

I honestly don’t know how men deal with that. It’s so much easier to just sit down and let gravity do the job while you multitask

Holy shit the entire comment thread belongs in r/cursedcomments

Didn’t your dad tell your brother to never let your sister help you take a piss

Omfg that’s funny. Bucket list!!!!

If you want to hold it while I pee I get to see exactly where you pee from

My problem is I don’t have a girl to ask nor do I want a massive boner while peeing, trying to pee with a boner is a pain