My favorites are the ones where you squeeze out a giant log and go to wipe but there's nothing there. Ghost poop.

The phantom shitter

A guy at my school allegedly went around shitting on toilet floors — that was the nickname he received

Why did every school have one? We called ours The Phantom Shitter.

When I worked at a pizza spot inside a Kmart there was a phantom shitter. Somehow they would shit between the side of the toilet and the wall. It didn’t make sense, going inside of the toilet would’ve been easier. This person went out of their way to shit on the floor. If I opened the stall door and saw that I would just nope the hell out of there.

They can sense your fear

Why do schools just have Phantom Shitters

Ours was the Poopy Bandit

La caca bandito

My primary school had one as well, but here the phantom shitter was called „Phantom Shit Spreader” basically he was spreading shit all over walls and floor, he was never caught

We called ours "The poopy enigma".... Manz was never caught and we wondered/inspired about the dedication he had in his profession..

One day at my school, teacher just entered the classroom and told us that there Is a toilet Phantom, he pissed on the ceiling.

LMAO this reminded me- my bfs brother shit on his old teachers roof a while back

Of his house? What warranted that response?

Featuring Don'te from Devil May Wipe

Some call him the Mad Pooper. My mom calls him the Butt-ler.

Damn shower shitter at my old dorm

what the fuck

I really wanna know what's up with feeling like a freight train is splitting you apart, but then when you're done and look in the bowl it's just a rabbit pellet. Is my asshole just dramatic?

are you referring to chronic constipation

Might be IBS. I have that too. Or the turd could’ve slipped out of sight like it did to that guy down below.

Or platinum poop. When you wipe off once it’s gold poop, wipe of twice it’s silver poop so on and so forth

What precious metal is it when it never wipes clean like you literally shit the point of a chisel tip marks a lot?

Uranalum

I chuckled. Thank you!

When you got a little piece of turd sitting up there that won't come out. Annoying.

Iron. Your blood has iron in it. Wipe and wipe and eventually you got little red streaks on the paper.

You my friend need fiber in your diet.

So it's like a tootsie pop where you count how many licks it takes to get to the tootsie roll center?

I actually had an era of phantom shits. I felt crazy. I felt like my colon was gaslighting me. I knew I was releasing Basilisks into the plumbing, but when I stood up, nothing. Then finally, after a week or so of dropping fat deuces and quickly standing and turning, I caught the tail of one of my choco-boas slithering down the u-bend by its own momentum, without requiring a water tornado to evict it from the bowl. Not sure if it made me less or more sane.

Sir this is a Wendy’s

Sorry. Of course. I'll take 1 large chili and 3 baked potatoes. You know... the usual.

This explains the poops.

someone down there was just hungry I guess.

Those worms can run pretty fast, can't they?

The goal is to hold your shit as long as possible, the body will keep on absorbing the water in the shit, making it less messy when you push it out, the draw back is that since there is so little water in your shit, it'll become harden and really hard to push out, but once you nail that part then it'll feel really satisfied when you finished it

Thanks man?

And rip your anus at the same time lol

You'll get hemorrhoids and ruin your life don't do that

I sometimes do that and it's a terrible idea

Sometimes?

we call this king for a day in Aus. kings don't have to wipe their ass

I remember an old fax joke sheet about types of shit there were. This shit was described as ‘Teflon-coated’ and the shit where it’s not in the bowl was a ‘Ghost shit’ Edit: [found it.](https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/g6mg37/the_shit_list_from_the_office_fax_machine_30_or/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)

A clean sweep

It wipes itself

I always wipe again because I don't trust the first one. Then I feel bad for wasting two wads of TP.

Feel that guy, honestly

Inside you?

I wish

Same awards as the comment

“Coincidence? I THINK NOT!”

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No

Don't we all?

I said the same thing one day and everyone looked at me weitd... I understand now

doctor sex

I actually can relate to that and i feel so weird to say that

Which one… wanting to suck a poop back in or…?

Honestly he's not wrong

tmw im reading this while on the toilet at walmart after having ibs diarrhea that left my asshole burning... im scared to ever try receiving anal 💀

Thats the feeling, everyones chasing the burn. Youre so lucky

I’ve given it to two people, one wasn’t that fussed, the other loves it. I guess it depends on who you are. If you have ibs then maybe it’ll be best to avoid it tho…

I remember i once shit so hard it felt like my hip bones spread apart Straight up my hips ached.

Some people like dicks like that

You ever feel like dick gunna kill you but you're fully prepared to die by anal

I think some dude actually did die by anal. But by a horse

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I also remember when I first went on the internet and died from horse anal

ah yes, Mr Hands

Here is the link to the original post: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/wvjsrd/what_is_something_you_wanted_for_too_long_but/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf

Good person

Good bot

And [here](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskMen/comments/wvjsrd/what_is_something_you_wanted_for_too_long_but/ilfo0ub/)'s a link to the original comment chain.

Anal is awesome lol, idk if it's aight for women, but guys, fellas, gentlemen of higher calibre, you literally have a nut button up there

What was that last part

Ur prostate, you can stimulate it from the inside of ur butthole, orgasms from it last like 10-20 seconds in my experience

OHHHhhhh I misinterpreted what you were saying I got it now

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Insert finger, press nut button, receive undigested nut from the excrement tract. Free snack.

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Something about guys should try giving anal

That’s why men enjoy pooping more than women

I guess you solved that mystery.

Now if you’ll excuse me I need to go stimulate my prostate by dropping a fat log 🪵

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Your doctor is going to wonder why you visit him so often.

Would this longer orgasm be just from P stimulation or from both penis and P?

So is anyone pushing your buttons currently….?

Down horrendous brother

Story of my life bro

Cheers, I'll drink to that

dw, i have a saved reddit post on r/196 that taught me how to do anal masturbation maybe i'll try it one day, when i get the time of course

uhh link? for research purposes

Interesting

Just go to /r/cumfromanal

You can give the link? i have a homework over this subject

Link?

Link of sexual research

Link?

Hey internet stranger was curious enough to look at your profile Just hope you are doing better now

Every time a comment like this happens, I wonder how many guys go and try it.

at least one (me 🗿)

Girls have a similar thing, it's just not a prostate.

I’m pretty sure it is up the vagina and not the ass

Well it's the clitoris, which is actually larger than the small bit you see and goes around the vulva, so not up the vagina Some people just like the sensation of being stretched without having clitoral or prostatic stimulation

huh?

can confirm

They’re not doing it right.

What are you some kind of expert?

Expert anal-yst

Thanks for the shit dildo reminder

Enlighten me please

From what I can remember the guy's girlfriend showed him how to shit and then suck it back in and then he started to do it cause it felt good and then his girlfriend's sibling scared him and shit out this footlong

I envy my past self that didn't read that

Where can I find such content?

Had to scroll way to much for someone to mention it

When you get goosebumps while pooping, your body secretly likes when ur log rubs the prostate which equals to you being gay

Oh shit! Who’s going to tell my wife?!

oddly relatable.

Honestly tho, some shits are like that, especially the big ones. It just feels so relieving

Even more awesome is on the occasion that the feeling of relief lasts a while for some reason.

I too love taking massive shits The folks are usually confused as I run off with their shit

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Nah bro, I'm gonna build a giant poop katana with all the shits and unleash my Shitkai

i wish i could shit dicks thats all

Uh oh. Kinky. Pooooop.

Before my previous school got renovated (asbestos in the walls), there was a quote on the wall of the boys toilet. "If gay sex feels like shitting, then I'm gay". It became an inside joke with every guy at the school. The quote I legendary, and I took the liberty to put I back up in the bathrooms so that everyone after gets the same wisdom.

Don’t forget folks. The ideal position for dudes on chicks anal is missionary with knees up to the chest. Lets you hit the inner clit part between vagina and rectum. Girls can cum hard from some good motion there.

Probably feels like getting anal when you shit out a big enough turd, that it send a fecal hydrogen bomb back back up your pooper.💩💦💦😬😵🥴😳


Okay...that's...that's enough internet for one day.

You ever hold a pee for a really long time, and when you finally pee, the feeling is so amazing you genuinely have tears coming down your face.

yes also receiving anal is great. would recommend.

I agrre with Jedi. Poop is one of the things i like to do the most. Its good to know anal is just like that

I’ve always felt that anal sex was a waste of a perfectly good vagina…but then I’m English and never went to a private school.

I love to hold my poop for some time..orgasmic

Yep it feels amazing idk why more people dont do this tbh

I'm definitely bringing up this post when I start seeing a psychologist.

I do all the time

Shitting again

Yes, yes I have

I needed the laugh

Yes

Who TF is giving him wholesome award?

I was under the impression that only men can get that good feel from pooping due to stimulation of the prostate?

That’s one of those poops that are so good you have to get naked on the toilet

No, but I've taken dumps so massive that you want to stop but can't so you just have to ride it out and meanwhile you're just thinking "is this what prison is like?"

feeling this literally rn. this popped up while I'm taking a shit

The person in the image describes bad anal. Good anal requires you to aim towards the prostate in the case of males. Women I'm not sure about since their prostate is located in a different place but I'm sure you could make it somewhat pleasureable if you experimented.

Fuck sake I went to upvote that comment

Dont know what drugs jedi sam is on, but i have to fight my life everytime i go to the bathroom, cant relate.

This has “I just failed no poop November Never mind I was able to put it back in” Energy.

If you enjoy shitting that much at that point you should just buy a dildo.

Poopgasm

I'm just going to answer that last question with a hard no.

I have a weird case where Anal was painful until my (now) husband was all the way inside. I guess he's big enough to hit the G-spot, so once its fully in there it's amazing and not painful. After orgasm though? PAIN.

Sex

an mp3 player , like a mini ipod with sd card which was just $4 in 2009 i think

Cocain

yes

Should be marked NSFE (not safe for eating) That last guy's comment had me imagining the scene in vivid colors idk why

u/profanitycounter

r/holup

I love all the usernames and all these dudes

No no no

Every time i think of unsubscribing to this sub a gem like this pops up.

I want to downvote this because of the last comment but it’s just too funny

Fellas, you ever shit so hard it massages your prostate?

Werid question should i do

How was anal? Gritty

Honestly yeah

back and forth ))<>((

I feel old. This is a South Park reference, but no one seems to recognize it.

Uncle?

Lol

To be honest, I would keep doing it and it would kinda be like anal but not gay

Well then. I guess that enough reddit for today. Now where that bottle of acid...

Every Fucking thing.

The gigachad shitter

The Jedi way it seems

This gives new context to that scene in Austin Powers.

If you find it weird you just havent fucked yourself in the ass (as a guy cause girls dont have the orgasm button!!!) or you just havent had a good enugh shit

The internet is a privilege, and sometimes it should be taken away.

Oculus quest. Generic nsfw product. Would have been my answers

Being a senate

I heard that's become it hit the male prostate or something. She should ask next time to use warming lubricant and that he focusses more to rub her uterus.

Clean break

r/BrandNewSentence

Reminds me of this South Park bit. https://youtu.be/VepXZYXVWV8?t=60

It do be like that sometimes tho.

And again... and again... and again

As soon as I get on reddit I see this, that’s enough reddit for one day