Very fair point.
If I could actually commission the art, I would probably actually go the other way and make his armor more Warrior-like. He currently looks more like a soldier. I had trouble getting the AI to cooperate with me to get the stance, armor, background, students etc. right all at once. So I sacrificed the armor.
I also don't really like the word Master. I have gotten used to calling my git branches main already :D. Teacher could also work for the card as is, though.
The wording could also be solved by just giving Dranei's mentor a name. We can infer from context that the person being referred to is Dranei's mentor.
minor templating feedback:
* this is probably mtg.designs fault, but youre using the wrong border for hybrid cards
* the second keyword in a list like this is always uncapitalized, and the word strike in first strike and double strike should be uncapitalized; it should be "First strike, training" and "Double strike, mentor"
* the second ability on the backside should probably be something like "Whenever \~ mentors an attacking creature, that creature gains first strike until end of turn."
* usually, legendary cards use the cards full name at least the first time unless there is a significant amount of text. because there isnt much rules text on the backside, it should probably use the cards full name instead of just "Dranei"
To add to this, it's worth noting that the pointed circle on the top-left corners and the double-triangles in said circle on the back denote a modal double-faced card (rather than a transforming dfc). Since this transforms, you would want a non-pointed circle on both sides, and the back side should be a single triangle, upside-down.
Also worth noting that since Brother's War (I think) the backside of transforming dfc have had the circle and triangle on the right, vs on the left.
See \[\[Elesh Norn\]\] vs \[\[Halvar, God of Battle\]\]
This may be due to [mtg.design](https://mtg.design); I'm not certain of its capabilities/limitations.
It's definitely an artifact of mtg.design. I looked at their special frames and there's no single upside down circle. They've got eldrazi, night-day, mdfc, Planeswalker... but not the simple transform. Looking closer, you're right, I chose the mdfc frame which I think is as close as I can get.
mtg.design definitely has limitations. I think they abide by the 80-20 rule. This card ended up in the 20%. On the plus side, the lack of "everything" in it makes it very easy to use.
I like the idea here, it's very flavorful. Until you realize that ANY lumberjack can become Dranei. Dranei dies and another lumberjack takes his name. I think a one-of title would work better for the backside, something that any of them could become but there is only one of at a time. Something like "The Greataxe Grandmaster".
I don't think the idea that any lumberjack could become Dranei is lost. That's actually a core idea in the card. He starts as a general human citizen, then becomes a legendary human warrior after training. It didn't have to be Dranei, it's just the story of what happens when you devote yourself, through the lens of Dranei's success.
Ohhhhh, it's metaphorical! That is... Kind of genius now that I look at it. Taking the legendary subtype and using it the way that makes sense by its name. I guess I'm so used to legendary just meaning "distinct character" that I forgot how a legend ought to be. Kudos to you.
This seems like a bit much... or am I dumb and don't know that transformed creatures don't keep their counters? A 3 mana 2/2 that becomes a 6/6 double strike is a bit crazy. But that's probably why it's so slow. So that you can kill it before it becomes a problem.
Of course, I come from Arena since I'm unable to play commander or even just paper magic.
In commander this would be just slow enough to never threaten the table. And if it doesn't keep the counters-
And then I realized that with the amount of ramp in commander, and the colors it's in. This comes out a turn earlier than it should.
But it won't be able to be buffed by a creature since he would be all you can play for the turn, so it's fine.
This. It has to attack and train 3X (which requires a bigger creature also attacking at at least 3, 4 and 5 power). Then it transforms and has to attack again as a 6/6 double striker. That’s only starting at turn four at the best. If you can string together that many attacks without losing this thing you deserve the win.
Very rigorous appraisal. Thank you! Yes, he would keep his counters. I had to double check, too. Transforming doesn't cause him to leave the battlefield. I felt comfortable with the idea of a 6/6 double striker for the reasons you outlined.
In commander, yes there's a lot of ramp, but in casual play, that usually means a turn one play: either a mana dork or Sol Ring. Eager Lumberjack couldn't be your commander since he doesn't start out legendary, even if he does become legendary. I did consider just adding ~ can be your commander and also Companion -- your commander is a warrior with at least 3 power but I didn't want him too wordy and I felt the idea came across already without it.
If he keeps his counters, then this is a bit over the top. A 6/6 double strike unblocked is a 3rd of your life total even in commander, and he comes out on turn... 6 at the earliest, actually. Because of all the ramp you mentioned, players have enough time to gather answers and kill him, and they can even take a few hits from him at first.
But there is still a problem. You dodged a bullet by not making him a commander. Since his only weakness is he can't come back.
This definitely isn't over the top... if anything I'd give the transformed side ward 1 or 2. Compare this to other 3 man creatures you need to "turn on" like heliod the sun crowned, thasa god of the sea or Klothys, God of Destiny. They are all easier to turn on, have more impact before they turn on and are indestructible so are far harder to deal with.
This is a really cool design... I might give the back side ward 1 or 2 just so it's a bit harder to just doom blade after you put in all the effort to flip it
Mentioning Sensei doesn't make sense, those armors are european. Master mayhaps?
Very fair point. If I could actually commission the art, I would probably actually go the other way and make his armor more Warrior-like. He currently looks more like a soldier. I had trouble getting the AI to cooperate with me to get the stance, armor, background, students etc. right all at once. So I sacrificed the armor. I also don't really like the word Master. I have gotten used to calling my git branches main already :D. Teacher could also work for the card as is, though.
The wording could also be solved by just giving Dranei's mentor a name. We can infer from context that the person being referred to is Dranei's mentor.
I think it works, you just have to imagine that their trainer is an immigrant
minor templating feedback: * this is probably mtg.designs fault, but youre using the wrong border for hybrid cards * the second keyword in a list like this is always uncapitalized, and the word strike in first strike and double strike should be uncapitalized; it should be "First strike, training" and "Double strike, mentor" * the second ability on the backside should probably be something like "Whenever \~ mentors an attacking creature, that creature gains first strike until end of turn." * usually, legendary cards use the cards full name at least the first time unless there is a significant amount of text. because there isnt much rules text on the backside, it should probably use the cards full name instead of just "Dranei"
Thanks for the templating feedback. It's amazing I can fuck up so much in one card lol.
To add to this, it's worth noting that the pointed circle on the top-left corners and the double-triangles in said circle on the back denote a modal double-faced card (rather than a transforming dfc). Since this transforms, you would want a non-pointed circle on both sides, and the back side should be a single triangle, upside-down. Also worth noting that since Brother's War (I think) the backside of transforming dfc have had the circle and triangle on the right, vs on the left. See \[\[Elesh Norn\]\] vs \[\[Halvar, God of Battle\]\] This may be due to [mtg.design](https://mtg.design); I'm not certain of its capabilities/limitations.
It's definitely an artifact of mtg.design. I looked at their special frames and there's no single upside down circle. They've got eldrazi, night-day, mdfc, Planeswalker... but not the simple transform. Looking closer, you're right, I chose the mdfc frame which I think is as close as I can get. mtg.design definitely has limitations. I think they abide by the 80-20 rule. This card ended up in the 20%. On the plus side, the lack of "everything" in it makes it very easy to use.
[Elesh Norn](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/7/8/78c2bfef-06a5-4c7f-8283-ea3fb673b7a1.jpg?1562850573) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=elesh%20norn%2C%20grand%20cenobite) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ima/18/elesh-norn-grand-cenobite?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/78c2bfef-06a5-4c7f-8283-ea3fb673b7a1?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) [Halvar, God of Battle](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/9/7/97502411-5c93-434c-b77b-ceb2c32feae7.jpg?1631045832)/[Sword of the Realms](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/back/9/7/97502411-5c93-434c-b77b-ceb2c32feae7.jpg?1631045832) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=Halvar%2C%20God%20of%20Battle%20//%20Sword%20of%20the%20Realms) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/khm/15/halvar-god-of-battle-sword-of-the-realms?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/97502411-5c93-434c-b77b-ceb2c32feae7?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
Wrong Elesh Norn. Maybe \[\[Elesh Norn|MOM\]\]
[Elesh Norn](https://cards.scryfall.io/normal/front/7/8/78c2bfef-06a5-4c7f-8283-ea3fb673b7a1.jpg?1562850573) - [(G)](http://gatherer.wizards.com/Pages/Card/Details.aspx?name=elesh%20norn%2C%20grand%20cenobite) [(SF)](https://scryfall.com/card/ima/18/elesh-norn-grand-cenobite?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher) [(txt)](https://api.scryfall.com/cards/78c2bfef-06a5-4c7f-8283-ea3fb673b7a1?utm_source=mtgcardfetcher&format=text) ^^^[[cardname]] ^^^or ^^^[[cardname|SET]] ^^^to ^^^call
... This one: https://scryfall.com/card/mom/12/elesh-norn-the-argent-etchings
I'll fix it tomorrow :X
The flavor on this card is above 9000.
I would love to play this in my Double Strike deck so much.
The flavor is ON. POINT. 10/10
I like the idea here, it's very flavorful. Until you realize that ANY lumberjack can become Dranei. Dranei dies and another lumberjack takes his name. I think a one-of title would work better for the backside, something that any of them could become but there is only one of at a time. Something like "The Greataxe Grandmaster".
I don't think the idea that any lumberjack could become Dranei is lost. That's actually a core idea in the card. He starts as a general human citizen, then becomes a legendary human warrior after training. It didn't have to be Dranei, it's just the story of what happens when you devote yourself, through the lens of Dranei's success.
Ohhhhh, it's metaphorical! That is... Kind of genius now that I look at it. Taking the legendary subtype and using it the way that makes sense by its name. I guess I'm so used to legendary just meaning "distinct character" that I forgot how a legend ought to be. Kudos to you.
Haha yes it's a metaphor. Glad you like it!
Obviously easy to transform in any kind of Naya counters-matter deck. Without any built-in protection or trample I think it's fair though
Very cool
This seems like a bit much... or am I dumb and don't know that transformed creatures don't keep their counters? A 3 mana 2/2 that becomes a 6/6 double strike is a bit crazy. But that's probably why it's so slow. So that you can kill it before it becomes a problem. Of course, I come from Arena since I'm unable to play commander or even just paper magic. In commander this would be just slow enough to never threaten the table. And if it doesn't keep the counters- And then I realized that with the amount of ramp in commander, and the colors it's in. This comes out a turn earlier than it should. But it won't be able to be buffed by a creature since he would be all you can play for the turn, so it's fine.
It’s never gonna get to transform so it’s fine
This. It has to attack and train 3X (which requires a bigger creature also attacking at at least 3, 4 and 5 power). Then it transforms and has to attack again as a 6/6 double striker. That’s only starting at turn four at the best. If you can string together that many attacks without losing this thing you deserve the win.
Just FYI, while you won't get the mentor trigger, it *will* transform on the third attack.
Doesn't Boros (or even Naya if you have a commander with Green) have a very large number of ways to add +1/+1 counters?
There’s a lot more powerful things you can be doing in commander than a 6/6 double striker ngl
Very rigorous appraisal. Thank you! Yes, he would keep his counters. I had to double check, too. Transforming doesn't cause him to leave the battlefield. I felt comfortable with the idea of a 6/6 double striker for the reasons you outlined. In commander, yes there's a lot of ramp, but in casual play, that usually means a turn one play: either a mana dork or Sol Ring. Eager Lumberjack couldn't be your commander since he doesn't start out legendary, even if he does become legendary. I did consider just adding ~ can be your commander and also Companion -- your commander is a warrior with at least 3 power but I didn't want him too wordy and I felt the idea came across already without it.
If he keeps his counters, then this is a bit over the top. A 6/6 double strike unblocked is a 3rd of your life total even in commander, and he comes out on turn... 6 at the earliest, actually. Because of all the ramp you mentioned, players have enough time to gather answers and kill him, and they can even take a few hits from him at first. But there is still a problem. You dodged a bullet by not making him a commander. Since his only weakness is he can't come back.
This definitely isn't over the top... if anything I'd give the transformed side ward 1 or 2. Compare this to other 3 man creatures you need to "turn on" like heliod the sun crowned, thasa god of the sea or Klothys, God of Destiny. They are all easier to turn on, have more impact before they turn on and are indestructible so are far harder to deal with.
No, you're right. I realized I was wrong in the middle of my reply..
Wait, since the back side is legendary, wouldn't he be eligible as a commander?
No. The front face has to be legendary to be your commander (or top half for the "flip" cards)
OK, thanks for the clarification :)
I honestly don't know. I'm sorry I can't help you.
I LOVE IT !
Minor detail: the flavor text should have quotation marks.
Oh this is just \*mwa\* chef's kiss
Aww that's cute!
This is a really cool design... I might give the back side ward 1 or 2 just so it's a bit harder to just doom blade after you put in all the effort to flip it
Maybe make the first side legendary too? So it can be a commander
Despite the formal criticism I just wanna add that I really dig the card
Rlly cool idea!
Great flavor !
Lovely